I did 2 podcasts on this subject, but they are not out, and for that I apologize. I discussed things with Russ and Keri, and it was delightful. But I need more content before things can be published. In the meantime, you will have to settle for this. You’ll like it. I won’t drag things out. We only have 6 booked matches, although rumor has it that Randy Orton is injured, soooo this could be a clusterfuck of epic proportions.
Usos vs. the Hype Bros – Winner takes on Heath Slater and Rhyno for the Smackdown Tag Team Championship
OK, so everybody and their dog are saying that the Usos are winning this match. WHY? It’s the most asinine thing. I understand that we want the story of Jordan and/or Gable to cost the Usos the belts and whatnot. Why does it have to be in the finals though? Doesn’t it make more sense for American Alpha to attack them in this match, so as to not let the Usos get close to the belts? Then you give the Hype Bros the big stage, and that will give Smackdown not one, but two legitimate tag team feuds simultaneously, you know, like how their used to be 2-4 at an any time in the late 80’s when tag team wrestling was at it’s best. This is such common sense, you know the WWE is going to fuck this up.
Winners: Usos because the WWE doesn’t have me writing for them
Usos vs Heath Slater & Rhyno
I am calling that team the Ginger Rhynos, so deal with it. I don’t think that they would be so dense as to not let Heath win the titles here as they have lightning in a bottle with Heath and Rhyno. The Usos will get their run, same for American Alpha. But right now, the Ginger Rhyno’s time is NOW! I’ll assume interference and then a GORE! GORE! GORRRRRE!
Winners: The Ginger Rhynos
Smackdown Women’s 6 Pack Challenge for the Smackdown Women’s Championship: Becky Lynch vs. Nikki Bella vs. Naomi vs. Natalya vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Carmella
Fun fact: I can make an argument for all 6 of these women to win it. Earlier in the week, I went with Naomi, but I have gotten off that Ho Train. I love Alexa, but her time is not now, but later. I don’t think Natalya will win it here, but she is more than deserving based on her longevity and name appeal. So if we get rid of half of the girls, now I will mention Carmella. She has a legit chance, because she actually has a built in feud with Nikki, but she has the least amount of talent. She gets the edge (Adam Copeland) over the other heels due to having a feud. That brings me to Nikki Bella, who is still the legit betting odds on favorite. We know that she is banging the former face that ran the place, and that she has just triumphantly returned, and she still looks amazing. She had that terribly lengthy run that was FUCKING AWFUL, but the WWE loves her, and so do the fans. I am found of watching her too. But is she really going to have a feud with Carmella over the belt? That seems so disingenuous to the other girls. The first feud will not be Nikki vs. Carmella. That leaves us with the girl who deserves it the most in a lot of fan’s minds, and I concur. Becky is the best of the bunch. With that being said, can’t you picture WWE making her chase it for another half a year? I certainly can see that, because the WWE needs to tell the internet fans to go fuck themselves every now and again. So where does that leave us? Eva is due back soon, and she was probably going to win the belt. Logically, that tells me that a face will be winning this belt. I hate logic as much as WWE in this case, and this pick is all about who could hold it, have her moment, drop it to Eva, and then eventually drop it to Becky.
Winner: Naomi, but if not her, Alexa is my second pick. These are the 2 girls with the absolute worst betting odds. You’re welcome. Naomi deserves a run though.
Intercontinental Championship Match
The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler
The Miz got raped. He cut that amazing promo that should have launched him into an epic feud against the face authority figure in Daniel Bryan. WWE didn’t want to do it, and instead, the Miz will take on his long time buddy Dolph Ziggler. Oh, the WWE doesn’t wish to acknowledge this on air though. Well Dolph is really good and delivering great promos, and got fucked in the Dean match. Expect more of the same as Dolph isn’t leaving with the belt. I’m fine with it, but they NEED to reward Dolph over the next 12 months with a world championship run. He’s been so damn good. Miz should break Honkey Tonk Man’s IC Title run. There aren’t many guys that are better company men than the Miz, and he never gets hurt. That counts.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler by Count Out
Randy Orton vs Bray Wyatt
Well, this match may not happen. Reports came out today that Randy is injured and may not compete in one of the 2 matches I was most looking forward to. So let’s first tackle what they do if the match goes on. Bray has to win. He wins like 2-3 PPV matches a year. But wait, Orton needs a win after that terrible Brock match. Shit. Well if Randy is hurt, then I think they let Bray get the win, probably with interference via Rowan and/or a returning Luke Harper. Let me toss this idea out there though. If Randy can’t compete, here’s how I would book it. Have Bray come out, talking shit about how great he is, and then play Rowan’s awful singles music. Rowan can get on the mic and challenge Bray, and this is because Bray fucked over Rowan on Smackdown 2-3 weeks ago. This match won’t be bad because these guys will want to steal the show. Before this breaks out into utter violence, Luke’s music hits, and he gets both guys on the same page, and they all walk out as a reunited Wyatt Family. And this time, they are taking over.
Winner: Bray if the match takes place
WWE World Championship Match
Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles
This is the one match that everybody is looking forward to above all else, right? This is also the hardest match to predict. Dean hasn’t had a terribly long run. He’s been champ since June. He hasn’t lost a PPV match since the Brock debacle at Mania, which wasn’t his fault. Furthermore, WWE has put him over Jericho clean twice, then the Money In The Bank Ladder Match, then Rollins and Reigns, then Dolph. He has been the second best booked guy in the company this year. Of course, the best booked happens to be his opponent. If you don’t realize that AJ Styles has been the WWE MVP and best booked guy of 2016, you’re a god damn fool. Even when he lost to Jericho at Mania, it didn’t hurt him because he became #1 contender the very next night. Yeah, he lost back to back months to the Roman Empire in the main event. Being undefeated doesn’t necessarily mean best booked, and in this case, AJ’s story has made so much sense. And then he beat John Cena cleanly in this year’s match of the year, so far, at Summerslam. Yes, better than Shinsuke vs. ____. So do you continue riding your 30 year old stud, or do you do the right thing and finally make AJ, solidify him and his legacy as one of the all time greats? Does Vince really have the balls to put the belt on a TNA talent? He has shown that he hates talent that he didn’t build. AJ seems like the most logical choice. Let’s face it, after AJ, who does Dean have to feud with as a main eventer? Bray….again? Right. It’s AJ’s time to feud with Dean, Randy, Dolph, Cena, and eventually Shinsuke or Samoa Joe. WWE NEEDS to do the right thing tonight.
Winner: Dean Ambrose because this is a perfect trap to get fans thinking that they NEED to do something, so they say, nah, we don’t care if we screw ourselves over, get hated by fans, this just fuels them to keep watching. The WWE is one of the all time great trolls, and they revel in it. Dean will win this, just wait for it.
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