WWE Clash of Champions 2016 Preview
Hi everybody. I wrote this up, then I decided to harass Russ until he submitted…..a copy of his picks. Ahhh. Anyway, enjoy us in all of our mediocrity as we do our best to guess who’s winning what this Sunday Night, ONLY on the WWE Network!
Alicia Fox vs. Nia Jax
Russ: Yay! Nia Jax, my favorite cardboard cutout of a human and Alicia Fox, crazy wrapped in a tiny cute package. I’ll be honest I have no interest in this match. Therefore, I don’t care who wins it. Since it is Nia’s first PPV for the red brand I believe she will win in a decisive manner.
Winner: Nia, cause WWE is still trying to make me care about this bruiser.
Kent: I would love to see this go 10 minutes where Nia competently works a match. But I have my doubts, and I don’t know who to blame. You can’t have a bad match with Foxy unless you are trying to fuck up. If you put in the effort, Foxy will bump like crazy for you. I just hope that she doesn’t go overboard because I still fear that Nia is unsafe in the ring, and Summer Rae is apparently injured.
Winner: Alicia due to DQ or Count Out
Sami Zayn vs. Chris Jericho
Russ: They didn’t really build this feud other than Sami was KO’s former friend and Jericho is his best friend! Honestly, though that is good enough for me because this will be a good match. Jericho is seasoned pro who can put on a match with anyone, while Sami seems to be hitting a stride in the ring. I’m hoping this match makes Jericho’s List. List of best matches (Kent thought I was going to steal his idea again!)
Winner: Jericho after a code breaker out of nowhere!
Kent: Russ, you sanctimonious son of a bitch, yes I did. I know that we heap praise on Jericho a ton, and rightfully so, but has WWE misused his greatness to get over the main event and tag division, and not focused enough on his actual Sami feud? I’m not blaming Jericho or Zayn, but they had that one great promo, and I’m not as excited for this as I want to be. I think Jericho loses to add more to the complaint list.
Winner: Sami by roll up
Cruiserweight Championship Match
TJ Perkins vs. Brian Kendrick
Russ: I feel this will be a match that a lot of people are going to be talking about the next night on RAW. I won’t go as far as say match of the night, because these guys are new to RAW and a lot of fans have no clue who they are. I can’t see WWE switching champions already.
Winner: TJ Perkins, cause WWE isn’t that stupid are they?
Nothing would say fuck you to the fans more than holding this extremely long tournament only to immediately put the belt on somebody else. Yeah.
Winner: Brian Kendrick because they have more faces than heels
Best of Seven Series – Match #7
Cesaro vs. Sheamus – Winner gets World Title Opportunity
Russ: This is going to be my match of the night. This has the best story going into Clash. The match on RAW was really good and was a precursor to what I think is going to be a show stopper.
Winner: Cesaro, cause this has been a forgone conclusion since this whole thing began.
Cesaro is the obvious choice, probably the most obvious pick of the night. WWE likes to fuck with fans sometimes, like Sasha last month. Still, KO vs Cesaro is a feud people would care about. Sheamus vs. KO, not so much. I cannot find a single logical reason for Cesaro not to continue his ascension.
Winner: Cesaro in possibly match of the night
RAW Tag Team Championship
New Day vs. Gallows and Anderson
Russ: Time for a changing of the guards. New Day has held the belts for long enough. If WWE wants to make the RAW brand Tag division anything close to a competition with Smackdown it is time to pump some new blood into the dying husk that is the Tag division on RAW. Also, I want Big E getting the push he deserves.
Winners AND NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! G&A
I just don’t see the point in putting the belts on G&A right now. They will wait for Finn to return. If they wanted to do the switch, Summer Slam made sense. Not anymore. I know that for avid fans, we crave change, and then we bitch about not legitimizing champions by giving them long reigns. When one does get one, we bitch, but 5 years later, we say how good it was, like JBL’s. This is why the IWC is a bunch of twits. New Day is retaining the belts.
Winners: New Day
RAW Women’s Championship Match
Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte vs. Bayley
Russ: I suppose Sasha could win this match, but it would have made more sense if she didn’t lose the title at Summer Slam! Bayley isn’t winning this thing yet her time will be later in this year say a January PPV or an End of March PPV. That leaves Charlotte. That doesn’t bother me as much as having to listen to her talk on Raw the next night.
Winner: Cause WWE wants to have my ears bleed – Charlotte
In a match that everybody wanted….at Wrestlemania, we instead get this now. Bayley isn’t winning, that’s for Rumble or Mania. Sasha could, but Paige is due back soon. I say keep it on Charlotte, and give Paige a title win. Then she can transition it to a heel Sasha, and then Bayley vs. Sasha at Mania. Yes, that would be great.
Winner: Charlotte thanks to Dana
US Championship Match
Rusev vs. Roman Reigns
Russ: This feud has been a shitshow since it started and has done nothing to change my opinion on it. I think they will have a decent match, but who the fuck cares since giving the belt to Roman will do nothing for the show or either guy. So yeah I’m calling WWE to say fuck you people…
Winner: Roman, and pretty much everyone else loses.
I don’t even know if either guy has been booked well since Summer Slam. Is Rusev about to get a one way ticket to Jobber Town again, or will intelligence prevail, since Roman has been the bully this whole time? I say they utilize Roman to get KO over some more after the Seth feud. Somehow, Rusev shall retain, hopefully by just getting counted out. That’s my style of victory.
Winner: Rusev CRUSH!!!
RAW World Title
Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins
Russ: As much as I am in love with Seth, come on people he is cute! There is no way he is going to take the belt off KO, already. I do believe that HHH is going to interfere or Stephanie. This will lead to a big angle for Seth that will last until WrestleMania. Afterwards, Seth will go after the belt again and of course win it! A day I will wait for with impatience!
Winner: and Still WWE RAW Champ KO
Seth isn’t getting this belt back. It’s not happening. Maybe he gets screwed over by HHH again, but he’s not beating Owens this early in KO’s reign. I expect a great match tarnished with some interference by the end, and half the fans will be happy, and half will be bitchy, and that’s how you wrap up an unremarkable PPV, with 1 whole title change!
Winner: Kevin Owens, hopefully via Jericho’s help
We hope that you enjoyed this, and more importantly, we hope that we’re right in order to inflate our minuscule ego. Feel free to leave a comment with some predictions. Also, let’s hope to see this man Sunday.
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