WWE Fastlane 2016 Review

I had incredibly low expectations heading into this ppv. Can you blame me? The redundancy in this was exceptional. On the plus side, we were guaranteed a few things. We were guaranteed a good match between Owens and Ziggler, and the same can be said of the AJ vs. Y2J and the Kalisto vs Alberto match. We were going to see the next generation of big men take out the old guard. We were going to get a set up for the diva’s division. And of course, we were going to see Roman Reigns stand tall at the end because it’s his destiny. By and large, most of these things happened……by and large. Sigh.

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US Title Match: Best 2 out of 3 Falls

Kalisto vs. Alberto Del Rio

Due to the amount of times that these guys have fought, they have great chemistry. Hopefully this match ends this feud because Both need different opponents. These guys are perfect to exhibit their move set, but there is very little in the story. Both guys need someone more charismatic to work with to bring out their best in my opinion, and both are so talented in ring, that a lousy wrestling highly charismatic wrestler can still have a great match. Anyway, Alberto did the old trick of use a weapon in the first fall to weaken his opponent, immediately follow that up with an easy pin, followed by the baby face comeback. It’s been done before, but it works well. And the 3rd fall is always great because if the heel wins, well it’s because he cheated and did too much damage with the weapon. If the face wins, they overcome adversity and show the heart of a champion. Neither guy looks bad in these matches if done well. This was a solid match. Unfortunately, I didn’t really care all that much about it due to seeing it so frequently as of late. But hey, we gotta have a weekly 3 hour show that is as long as our pay per views.

Winner: Kalisto

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Women’s Tag Match

Sasha & Becky vs. Naomi & Tamina

This match ended with dual submissions. That’s fine, that’s how you set up a 3 way at Wrestlemania. It was the obvious and correct booking. The build up to this was good. A problem I have is that when you don’t have enhancement talent, you have to use main roster people to enhance the talent. But then you also want the people who are enhancing to come off like a legit threat in a ppv match. Rarely does that work out well. Even last year, when Owens and Cena both were beating Cesaro in the build up to their series of matches, how the hell are we supposed to take Cesaro serious after that? So in that same breath, We know that Tamina is very low on the totem pole of the women’s division, as is Naomi. How do we know this? By and large, they aren’t involved in feuds, were all but instantly written off in the infant stages of the Diva’s Revolution, and probably have won less than 20% of their matches. And that’s all fine and good, but why am I supposed to believe that they have a chance to win on pay per view? WWE, you can’t have it both ways.  All the girls tried, but with it being a tag match, it should have had more action.  When you get 10 minutes, you should be telling a story 7 or 8 of those minutes while maximizing your move set. It’s very frustrating to see this. I would have booked it with more frequent tagging on the heels behalf, have control almost all match, Becky gets screwed over in making the tag, and eventually Sasha gets the hot tag and she cleans house and we get the finish.  If you have a lesser heel team, quick tags showing off each other’s familiarity and unity will allow the announcers to put them over very easily. Eh, still, this was good, but Naomi and Tamina needed a better showing.

Winners: Sasha & Becky

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IC Title Match

Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler

They had plenty of time, they had their match, it was very good. What else did you expect? The new champion retained. These guys have had so many matches against each other, it’s tough to come up with new methods to tell the same story, but they did very well. I was still bored, but that’s not the performer’s fault. It was due to seeing them fight so frequently in singles and tag matches.

Winner: Kevin Owens

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Big Show, Ryback, & Kane vs The Wyatts with Bray at ringside

I just can’t hold back at this point. Out of every awful booking decision, why, WHY did they have the Wyatt’s lose? Fuck it. Fuck WWE. Fuck you Vince. Fuck everybody involved. Luke Harper has been reaching for that non-existent brass ring month after month, same for Bray. Hell, both Eric and Braun are trying their best. You need these big guys to look legit because Big Show, Kane, Undertaker, and Mark Henry are all near the finish line of their career. They can get wins on RAW, but they shouldn’t be getting wins at ppv unless it is a great story. This was not a story. This was a big fuck you to the Wyatts. Oh, and they never interfered in the main event. So they went from eliminating Brock from the Royal Rumble, to this? More and more, I know I was right in that they should have built up a League of Nations vs. Wyatts for Wrestlemania. But as New Day would say “oooohhhh noooo”. Fuck you WWE. Fuck you in every orifice that there is.

Winners: Not the Wyatts, not the fans, not logic

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Women’s Title Match

Charlotte vs. Brie

Both girls tried. Charlotte is way better than Brie, and it should be obvious just how underwhelming Brie is, despite years and years of doing this and banging one of the all time great wrestlers, she still sucks in ring, still sucks on the mic, and has the worst entrance theme. Yes, Brie Bella is my least favorite active roster wrestler. I feel that I may prefer 90’s Jeff Hardy to her.

Winner: Charlotte, no shit

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AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

If we are saying from start to finish, what the best match of the night was from all angles, this is it. Dolph and KO had the better in ring stuff, but it lacked freshness. Granted, this was the 3rd match between these 2 guys within a month, but that’s nothing compared to Zigs and Owens. This won’t be on any match of the year picks, but it was pretty damn good. Jericho got to show that he’s still got it, and AJ is doing good so far. Let’s hope that AJ and KO cross paths next, and hell, you could add Jericho to that. He would help with promos and the build.

Winner: AJ Styles

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The Cutting Edge Peep Show with New Day

This had some laughable moments, I can’t lie. Still, at the end of the day, did they just try making New Day faces? Why the fuck did they have League of Nations come out? Alberto can’t work well with comedy, and Sheamus shouldn’t be either. Barrett can do well as can Rusev, but this is just such a terrible mismatch, especially when Sheamus keeps getting the most mic time. I can’t say that this was terrible, it wasn’t. Sadly, the end result didn’t work for me, nor anybody else from what I have read. I’d rather The Ascension come out and beat everybody down.

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Triple Threat for main event at Wrestlemania against HHH

Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Roman Reigns

This match was very good for the most part. The early stuff of Brock just dominating, it worked and made sense. Dean and Roman constantly working together to take Brock out and then taking turns starting fighting with each other, that worked and made perfect sense. Brock suplexing both men was a thing of beauty.Dean resorting to using the chair, it was the almighty equalizer. That made a ton of sense in this match. So far, this sounds like a great match, right?  Well, here is where the match fell apart, there are 2 very key points.

Brock locked on the Kimura on Roman, and despite Roman being close to tapping, as he should, because look at that move and realize how quickly real fighters tap out to it, they should have had Dean break it up. Instead, they had Roman stand the fuck up while Brock is grapevined around Roman. It’s the whole, how far can your suspension of disbelief go? I get it, we are supposed to believe that Dean can hang in the ring with these 2 behemoths, so he used cheap shots and chairs to help, and I can suspend my disbelief. I can’t handle Roman doing that.

The second part that totally ruined the whole match, and then my night to be honest, was Dean beat the hell out of Roman and Brock with a chair. Brock was so hurt, he sold it and rolled out of the ring. ROman acted sore for 3-5 seconds after 5 chair shots, and then go up like nothing, no sold everything, spear and win. It was such a fuck you to the fan base. It was just Vince dragging his sack across the fan’s face and claiming to listen to the fans, while still pushing Roman in such a terrible way.

Let me be clear, I like Roman Reigns. By all accounts, he comes off like a nice young guy, and he tries, and he has improved. He wasn’t going to say no to Vince giving him this terrible push. Last year, Roman should have been going for the IC and US Titles. Maybe Roman should have beaten Cena for the belt. Like, if Roman didn’t win the Rumble and main event Mania, I think the crowd would have been more accepting of him taking the belt off of Cena, if he showed that he could hang in the ring. The problem is that his cardio is still shit. It needs to improve dramatically, and it is beyond frustrating. Maybe this year, he could have gotten the main event and won the belt from HHH for his 1st title run, and it would have worked. I have long said that Roman wouldn’t be main event ready until 2016 or 2017. I have watched this shit for far too long, I do know what the fuck I am talking about. Big guys need more time to get good. They need a lot longer time to get great and believable. There are exceptions, but his name is Undertaker. Even Taker, despite being ahead of the curve, it took him years to really put everything together, and with him, there was no real rush for a big title run. I hate that Vince is pushing this poor guy so hard on teh fans, that the fans are not accepting it. You have have so many guys that can carry the belt and have their moment. You don’t always need your Cena’s and Orton’s and HHH’s to  hold the belt, nor do you need the guys 2 generations later, like the Shield and Wyatt guys. From say Wrestlemania 28-33, guys like Daniel Bryan, Dolph, Sheamus, Cesaro, Wade, Drew McIntyre, Swagger, and Cody should be the main event scene. You interweave them with the old guard, and they should be getting to a point where the League of Nations should be a bad ass, respectable stable instead of a joke. You should have 3 former world champions and a Rusev. Fuck, I am so disappointed with Wrestlemania. I truly believe that I will be watching Walking Dead when it airs that night and miss an hour of Mania. Yeah, I am beyond unhappy at this point in time. Putting Dean over would have been a sign from WWE to give the fans what they want and crave, not what the WWE thinks is best. I defend Vince all the time. I believe in him by and large, but something has to give. At some point, things need to change because if you stay complacent long enough, Lucha Underground, TNA, ROH, or another group will eventually rise and challenge the old guard. When it happens, I want WWE to be put in the backseat for awhile. They need to re-discover that fire. This stale shit is utter garbage.

Winner: Roman Yawn Reigns

Fuck you WWE. I will watch Mania for Taker, AJ, and KO. I will watch to see Mark Henry have his last Mania match. I will watch to see how a guy like Neville, Kalisto, and Tyler Breeze do on the big stage. I will be happy to see the new generation of women put on a match that they can all be proud of and show what they can really do with a story and talent. It’s going to feel empty though. I think one of the best things that WWE could do right now is build up some legit heels, and have them win more than they lose. Have them win some legit feuds. Put the faces in peril. And not the same old fucking heels, build up people for once. I would like to see some of the generation that got passed by to form a legit group of pissed off guys who didn’t get the push that they deserved. Make it feel real. Make them be disgruntled about their shit pushes. Let them run the fucking place, interjecting themselves in all the matches until they get the spotlight. I don’t care how over the top you do it, just do it. Dolph and Cesaro can go heel. Just do something fucking interesting, please. I won’t be unsubscribing from the Network because I love all the other content on there by and large. It’s sad when the ppv’s are the worst thing on there as of late.

Can you feel the excitement for the biggest Wrestlemania of all time? Yeah, me neither. Feel the crowd going mild.

All pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are property of WWE and wwe.com.

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