WWE Royal Rumble 2016 Predictions

This show had been my favorite for about 10-15 years, but too often, the outcome has been too obvious and sometimes, poorly done. The past 2 years have been fucking dreadful. This year has lots of promise. One thing is for sure, if Roman walks out as champion without a heel turn, this Rumble will be boo’d like crazy. Let’s get on with the predictions.



Fatal Four Way Tag Match – winner gains entrance to the Rumble match

Mark Henry & Jack Swagger vs. The Ascension vs. Damien Sandow & Darren Young vs. The Dudley Boys

Where to start?  Remember on RAW, there was a match between Mark, R Truth, Titus O’Neil, & Neville vs Stardust, the Ascension, & Tyler Breeze? DO you recall the announcers telling us that all 8 guys would be in the Rumble match? We thought, well of course they are, these are the cannon fodder for Roman, Brock, and others. Then 3 days later, this match is announced. So now The Ascension get the fucking boot? Fuck that! The WWE has fucked The Ascension so badly, they may never be viewed well by fans. The Dudleys, well they had the biggest return of the year, and now……well the job endlessly to the Wyatts, which is fine, except they could have used a nice title run initially. You can’t have your Dudleys, Jerichos, and RVD’s return and immediately job them out. You build them up as unstoppable beast veterans who then give some up and coming talent the rub. Why am I the only one who sees this? I am shocked that Sandow is still employed at this point because he must have pissed off somebody high up to bury him. NOBODY got buried worse last year that Sandow. He should have had a run with a mid card title and moved up and been in a position to be a legit threat with all of the injuries. Instead….this. This is probably Mark Henry’s last year in WWE, so he should get the win, and speaking of talents who have been getting buried for almost 2 straight years now….Swagger. He still gets responses. Ryback is on RAW nearly every week, he draws little to no reaction. What am I missing here?

Winners: Mark Henry and Swagger because the WWE must have some surprise entrants


US Title Match

Alberto Del Rio vs Kalisto

Alberto is a long time personal favorite of mine. He is in tremendous shape, and with his hair growing out, he looks even more like a dick. Alberto has carried the company on the heel side since returning. I like Sheamus, but the material given to him is shit and he’s just not as good in the ring. Remember how good that match with Roman was at Survivor Series? Alberto has been kicking ass. Then WWE decides to create a “moment” and since Sin Cara had recently hurt himself, and the desire to create Latino stars, they put the belt on Kalisto. And it worked incredibly well. It was a solid moment. I would have loved seeing Alberto chase the belt this month and maybe get it back in February, or have Kalisto hold it for awhile and see just how good he is. 24 hours later, they put the belt back on Alberto because…….fuck man, I have no clue. So we get the 4th singles match this month I believe between the 2. Fucking repetitive bullshit. I was good with Kalisto having a run with a belt. NOW it would diminish the title I fear. Cena legitimized it, and Del Rio did well until this.I hate being a wrestling fan sometimes.

Winner: Allllllllbertoooooooo Dellllllllllll RRRRRRRRiiiiiiioooooo


Divas Title Match

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

I don’t care. Charlotte hasn’t looked good since getting called up and I was rarely a huge fan of hers to begin with. Becky on the other hand, she has grown on me. She has spunk. I don’t know why, but I want her to succeed. She was soooo bad when I first saw her in NXT. She busted her ass and has become a top 5 main roster female. The order goes Sasha, Foxy, Paige, Nikki, and Becky. Sorry, Natalya botches and nobody says shit about it but calls out every other female, and it’s bullshit. Anyway, it would then be Natalya,Charlotte, Naomi, Tamina, Brie Mode, and then Rosa because she is awful.  As far as the match goes, I expect this to be very mediocre. 2 stars maybe, and I fear that they won’t get the crowd as riled up. The problem with Rick being the manager, he can’t get too physically involved. Shame that Sherri or Woman weren’t still alive to be managers, or get Madusa back. Charlotte should win, I guess, as long as the pay off is Sasha winning at Wrestlemania. On a side note, please don’t bring Bayley up any time soon. She is great in NXT, same with Emma. WWE treats their female talent like shit by and large, and I love the girl down in NXT who aren’t Nia Jax. Asuka is the best one, as she’s like a bad ass ECW Tajiri. Yeah, that awesome. Mick Foley suggested that he be in Becky’s corner, I’d love to see that by the way.

Winner: Charlotte      Losers: The fans


Tag Title Match

New Day vs Usos

I didn’t miss the Usos when J…. was injured. They are incredibly overrated. Lucha Dragons, Dudleys, Harper and Rowan, Sheamus and Barret, Henry and Swagger, and even the Ascension are better than the fucking Useless-O’s. I want to like them by the way, I just can’t. I feel they are only there due to family ties. New Day should win. They should keep the belts until a team from NXT gets called up. No, I am not talking and Jordan and Gable, the new flavor of the month. I am talking about Enzo and Big Cass. They are ready.  I am ok if they hold off until Summerslam in Brooklyn so Carmella can be close to main roster ready as well.  Enzo and Cass will be this generation’s New Age Outlaws, and that’s a great thing. By the way, JBL’s interview with Road Dogg on the WWE  network is really good.

Winners: It’s a New Day….yes it is.


Intercontinental Championship Title Match – Last Man Standing

Dean Ambrose vs Kevin Owens

I hate to say this outloud, but WWE has really soured me on Dean the past year. He should have won the title by now, especially with all of the injuries. The money man is Dean, not Roman, but Vince will insist on getting his own way. Dean needs to stop with the silly bullshit, get back to his Shield style or Jon Moxley, and fucking go crazy. Dean should be main eventing Wrestlemania, instead, he’s having the best current feud with another incredibly underrated talent in Kevin Owens. Remember how in the 90’s, usually the IC title had better feuds than the world title, brother? Well, that’s what is happening now thanks to the League of Chumpstains who destroy everybody, but get raped in 1 on 4 contests against the Roman Empire. That is just retarded, and yes I mean it. Back to this match. The question is, who needs the belt more? Oddly enough, it is Kevin Owens. Who wouldn’t want to see KO vs Sami Zayn at Wrestlemania? But that match doesn’t have to be for the belt, I suppose, but it would be preferred. I’d have Del Rio vs Dean at Mania in a stipulation match of sorts.  I think Dean retains and KO gets one more rematch at Fast Lane. I’d have somebody fuck over Dean, giving KO back the belt, and giving Dean his Wrestlemania feud.  Maybe Samoa Joe????

Winner: Dean but I am really uncertain on this one


Royal Rumble for the WWE Title

Here’s what we know. Roman is in at #1 and is the focal point. Brock is lurking and ready to kill. Bray Wyatt along with Luke, Eric, and Braun are all in. Former champions like Jericho, Shaemus, and Big Show are in. Bo Dallas, Curtis Axel, Heath Slater, Adam Rose, Rusev, and Barrett are all in, and I would speculate Alberto as well. I assume Mark Henry and Swagger are in.KO, Dean, Kalisto, the Usos, and New Day are all possibilities. Stardust, Tyler Breeze, Ryback, R Truth, Titus and Neville are all seemingly locks.  If I don’t include guys from earlier matches, that gives us 23.

I have yet to mention Taker (Doubt it), Kane (I think so), AJ Styles (Rumored), HHH (Big speculation), Dolph (Should be), or Goldust (throw in). Zach Ryder, Santino, Fandango, Miz, El Torito, Hornswoggle, Otunga, and Lawler are a possibility.  Then you could also consider Goldberg or Sting as they would be huge names that could give WWE a boost, but I doubt it. There’s always Tommy Dreamer and RVD always are available. I am predicting that Baron Corbin gets a shot in the match, just a random guess though. Then there’s a certain wrestler who would cause a riot. Yes, I am talking about Batista. OK, just kidding, but I would love it if he returned. I love Big Dave. But what about Daniel Bryan? If he got cleared this week, he could be in the final 3 with Roman and Brock, and then HHH screws over Roman, and leaves the final 2 of Brock and Daniel. That would blow the fucking roof off.

So who do I think is making the final 4? I have a weird feeling about Jericho, Bray, Luke, Brock, Roman, HHH, AJ, and Sheamus. I’d leave HHH out of it, have him cost Roman though. In my mind, Jericho has lost too much to be credible, especially for the biggest Wrestlemania ever, and Sheamus isn’t winning. It then comes down to Bray, Brock and AJ. If Daniel Bryan is involved, all bets are off the table. AJ would be amazing, but there’s no way Vince would be crazy enough to give him the world title on his first night….right? The best main event at Wrestlemania would be Brock vs Daniel, but I don’t see Daniel returning, leaving Brock vs Bray and the Wyatt family. Put the belt on Brick and have him put over Bray at Mania. Bray deserves it.

Winner: Brrrrrrock Lesnar


What do you think? Let me know your thoughts on social media because that’s what people do nowadays apparently.

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