WWE Wrestlemania XXXI Predictions

A little last minute, and how many people really care, but with the week I have had, maybe some people will give me sympathy hits.

After the past year from hell, in the wrestling world of course, do we hit the reset button tonight? The streak, the Warrior, the Crusher, all sad in their own ways and all are gone. Gone is Punk, Alberto, and Rey. They strapped the rocket on Roman, pushed Seth to the moon, and gave Dean a lot of awesome matches that he inevitably lost. Cena killed Bray’s push for months, even Y2J couldn’t save us. The Big Show turned heel yet again, and possibly face earlier in the year. Mark Henry, same thing. Kane had the mask, Kane lost the mask. We unfortunately had a travesty called See No Evil 2. And the most popular guy in Daniel Bryan had neck issues shortly after winning the belt and then pushed himself too hard, didn’t get the long term solution, think Kurt Angle, and we all can safely assume, Daniel will continue to have recurring injuries. Sheamus, Randy, and Bray all had extended breaks. Luke Harper got pushed for a month. So did Wade Barrett. Axelmania is running wild and Ryback is back to being a semi dominant guy. Rusev has grown more this year than any superstar including Seth and Tyson Kidd. Cesaro got pushed, then buried. The Usos are still terrible. That sums up the year to me. Oh wait, did I forget that Dolph keeps stealing the show and still can’t get a main event push? Yeah, fuck you WWE.


Soooo, here’s the match of stereotypes. Seriously, look at those teams, and WWE may not be racist, but damn, that’s a lot of stereotypes for one match. I got Cesaro and Kidd. Usos are the only legit threat and they need to just have more matches with the champs. Am I the only one disappointed in how The Ascension has been pushed? Or Prime Time Players? Get rid of Los Matadores and New Day and suddenly I have interest in this match.

Pick: Cesaro and Kidd retain belts


Wow, this match was hyped like crazy last year. Now it’s on the kickoff show. Everybody is saying it will feature Sheamus returning for a win, or possibly a showcase for Ryback’s dominance. I say fuck that. Let Axel-Mania run wild. He needs this win more than anybody else in this match aside from Sandow. Miz and Sandow will be involved in each other’s eliminations I would speculate.

Pick: Curtis Axel


I don’t care. Seriously, AJ has long since checked out. The Bellas are supposedly contemplating ending their run after their current contract. So go Paige!

Pick: Paige


I don’t care. It sucks because Rusev is the real fucking deal. Cena will step up tonight and push Rusev to his best match yet I speculate. Rusev looked strong on RAW. Cena has been too quiet. We have speculated for months on end that this match was happening, like last summer. With the way the world heavyweight title not being defended regularly, the WWE finds safety in putting the secondary belts on bigger names. Cena wins, unless this is where Sheamus returns, brogues Rusev to get revenge and cause a DQ, or then turns around, brogues Cena as well and Rusev retains and Sheamus turns heel on Cena. Doubt it though. I got Cena in a good 16 minute match.

Pick : Cena as new champ


I’ll be honest, this has potential overthinking involved. I’ll simplify it. Seth loses, Randy gets his huge pop after killing J&J. The crowd loves it. But rest assured, Seth’s night isn’t quite finished yet. I think this has potential to steal the show after the IC match. These 2 know how to rise up. Trust me.

Pick: Randy


Let’s face it, Sting isn’t jobbing in his first match in WWE. HHH jobs and puts over who needs to. He’s the heel variation of Jericho. Veterans who are always a threat. This match will be good, HHH will carry Sting when needed, and HHH is still fucking great, you can’t deny that. The entrances will be better than the match though. Still, I am looking forward to this, no matter how obvious the outcome. Of course I said that about Taker last year…..sigh.

Pick: Sting


Here we go. The streak should still be in tact. This would be the time to give somebody a rub.  Bray is that fucking good. Alas, there is no changing the past. Streaks end. People fuck up. Dumb bitches do really dumb things. Can’t change any of it. I don’t foresee Taker losing again without some significant interference. Sister Abagail perhaps? I truly hope Taker still has something left in the tank and doesn’t get hurt. He will always be my favorite. I am cheering on both men, but in my heart, Bray still gets a rub if done right. Taker isn’t Cena, Taker does things the right way. Very excited about the entrances once again.

Pick: Taker


Match of the night easily. Every single man can go in this. Most people are predicting Daniel Bryan to go with the theory to have top level guys holding secondary titles. That would also work with Dolph, but he never gets the push and keeps it. Dean, now he could certainly run with it. I love Dean. Hell, Luke deserves it as much as anybody. Shit, Cody has been held down for far too long, but I assume Goldust interferes. R Truth, I even love that guy, and he will do something cool in this match. Expect the big spot to occur with Luke, Dean, and Dolph. But nobody is picking Wade. He has been treated like shit all build up. Why not surprise everybody. Wade has all the tools.

Pick: Wade Barrett


The other match that there is no consensus with Brock now resigned for 3 more years. You know damn well he had some demands. He may want the belt for another year and become the attraction and put Taker over next in Texas when they break the attendance record. But there’s one big problem. Seth Rollins. I know Brock will have the fans support. I know Roman is gonna show us some things that we haven’t seen yet. I know this match will be better than expected and both guys will bring it. Heyman may turn on Brock. Heyman may need a new guy and Roman would be perfect in so many ways. So here’s the thought process, and it is convoluted. Heyman can’t turn and still lose, right? What if Brock beats Roman cleanly. Then we see Paul direct Roman for a post match beatdown, out comes Rollins. We have a minor Shield reunion with Paul orchestrating everything, and Roman and Seth destroy Brock and Seth wins the belt. That’s how I book it. They need strong heels, Roman, Seth, Bray, Wade, Rusev and maybe Sheamus works for me. Faces have Brock, Cena, Daniel, Randy, Dean, and Dolph. Yeah, that makes more sense now.

Pick: Brock wins cleanly, Seth cashes in Money In The Bank

I have hopes that this somehow is better than I think it will be on paper. Have any pics, comment here, comment on my Facebook. Thank you for reading.

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