#337 Don’t Blink (2014)

This hopefully is just a schlocky slasher with Mena Suvari and Brian Austin Green. Depending on your age, those names may mean something to you. I’m already confused, are these people supposed to be in their 20’s, 30’s, or 40’s? Some of them are in their 40’s, so I am speculating that they are trying to be in their 20’s or 30″ I would assume. I hate to say it, but these characters are not terribly likable. Maybe Sam, he at least seems reasonable.

There’s like 8 or 10 people and they have a reservation at this cabin.  Nobody is there, the gas doesn’t work, these’s a bunch of food on plates, and stuff is still on, like the stove for instance. Inside the under the sink cabinet, it has Help Me written on it, so that’s something. A quarter the way through, and that is the best I have for ya, but now the group has split up, so business should pick up.  Oh, a mirror has “dont blink” written on it, but BAG didn’t see it. There are other oddities, most notably is that Alex, and I think Claire found that the lake is actually freezing over, but it was warm by the actual cabin, and they spot a boat in the middle of the lake, abandoned. Is this the Langoliers? Oh, they just notice that there are no birds and it’s eerily quiet, and no bugs even.  At this point, you bail. You simply bail. Alex is going to bail……but his car won’t run.

They come up with the idea to siphon all of the gas between all of the vehicles, fit in Jack’s ride and just go. Jack says that they are better not getting stranded 100 miles from there. 100 miles? You can find some place over the course of 100 miles, am I wrong? Oh, and Tracy just disappeared. According to them, 100 miles will only get you half way to civilization. Really?? Oh and now Noah is gone. Alex now wants to bail even more but Jack is like the domineering tough guy? Hahaha, oh man. “How does staying here and having the same thing happen to us help them at all?” That is the smartest thing in my opinion. So you know that they put it to a vote and stay. I hope they all die, except Alex.

Amelia is the whore of the group. I can get behind that. So her and Lucas were playing a game of strip poker. He ducks behind the bar and disappears. Alex tells Jack that everything happens from this point on is on Jack’s head. Alex has a gun, even better.  Haha, Amelia is saying that this may be Retribution, so Alex calls her a slut.  Alex is such a dick, and that is why he is the best. Alex wants to punch and now kill her, haha. This has become schlocky at the very least, so yay. Hahaha, Amelia just disappeared, and Sam steals Alex’s gun and shoots him. Sam has lost his shit. Sam has Jack’s keys and him and Charlotte start to leave, and now there is snow on the ground and the car suddenly stops after going 40-50 feet, and it’s dark. Yeah. Sam is gone, Charlotte is in shock, Alex is choking the shit out of her, and then he gets punched by Jack. Good times. Alex apologizes to Jack. So Sam left the gun but disappeared with the keys. Odd.

The hot chick, Ella, is going to get some sleep and is in her bra, and I think that is as close to sexy as we’re getting in this film. Her and Jack have a good cry, and my knee hurts. It would feel better if she got topless. Nope, we get BAG ass, but no tits? That’s a point deduction!  So he gets screwed, and then she’s gone. HA! There’s a knock on the front door and Alex rose up like the Undertaker. Sweet. Hey, there’s Noah, and Alex is pissed. He claims to have fallen into a ditch. “That’s just the lettuce on the fuck you sandwich.” Fantastic. Alex is also really bummed out about Ella’s disappearance. Claire is pissed at Alex for beating Noah trying to get info from him, and Noah is playing stupid. So Alex shoots him in the leg…….twice, hahaha. Alex drags him outside and as Noah is screaming and pleading, his voice cuts out suddenly. God damnit, Alex just shot himself in the head. Down to Jack, Claire, and Charlotte.

Jack and Claire talk and now Noah’s blood and all of Alex and his blood has disappeared.  And then the phone rings. Hey, so they can call 911. It’s going to take 3 hours. Like where in the fuck are they that it takes rescuers 3 hours? So they are going to just stare into each other’s eyes, for 3 hours, and then the lights go out because this is a horror flick. I was wondering, they are just leaving Charlotte out of this whole staring contest. I think it’s rude. They gave her a candle to hold. If she disappears, that is going to set the place on fire potentially. Jack knew all all along that Tracy was pregnant and he was going to propose to her. How romant…..how lame. After this back and forth dialogue about their lives, Claire has to go to the bathroom, so that was awkward I guess to pee while somebody is looking at you in only candlelight, for some reason, I mean, what the fuck? You’re taking a piss. Oh, and Charlotte says that she’s going to disappear now, so she does. Now it’s just Jack and Claire in the bathroom staring at the mirror. They’re eyes get heavy and Jack fades away. What did you learn? Seriously? You were both tired and not talking to each other? Oh, there’s the sound of sirens. There’s like 10-15 emergency vehicles there. They get her in the back of a cop car so she can cry, and she puts her head down, and now everybody has disappeared. Really?  How the hell did Mena get top billing?

This was different, and different is good. I have read that there are similarities to Dean Koontz’s “Phantoms” and I have no idea how true that is. I hate how Jack as viewed as almost the smart hero guy, when the reality is, Alex was right all along in my estimation. They should have gone those 100 miles and it most likely wouldn’t be freezing, and then you walk. Yeah, 100 miles would suck, but somebody would find you before you walked 100 miles. You could have packed up food and done it, and potentially lived. With that being said, the acting was fine for what it was. No gripes, although some of the characters were just irritating like Tracy and Noah. I like an ending that is open to interpretation. I interpreted that she got taken away at the end, it would make more sense. The one dude clearly had an idea of what was going on.  I am mostly torn on whether I would see this again, and yet I feel like I have at some point. Oh well.

Rating – 5.2 because I feel that I will watch it again at some point, even if it’s for comfort background noise.

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Please go find a copy and support the creators. It’s currently on NetFlix, so give it a shot. It’s worth it, I think.


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