WWE 2017 Royal Rumble Review – 9 Deuce – The Entrance Ramp That Never Ends Edition


Hello folks.  Another Rumble is in the books and people are in a mixed state of mind, but at least it’s not straight hate and contempt like in 2014.  Joining me for this review is Keri because Russ is an ugly prostitute, like deep down inside.  He doesn’t sell his flesh, he’s just one at heart.  At least I have Keri, and that’s really all I need to have a great review!

Keri and I also wrote a review for NXT Takeover, so check that out.  On top of that, Steve and I did a podcast about these events, so please check out Are You Not Kentertained.

The 9

  1.  Naomi, Nikki, & Becky def Alexa, Mickie, & Natalya


Keri:  Overall, best women’s match of the night. This match had everything. Good spots and good storytelling. I’m excited for the Naomi-Alexa feud as well as the other storylines that I’m sure will continue into Wrestlemania season. Rating: 5 out of 9.2

Kent:  Well, my first thought was: “Why the hell is this on the pre-show?”  Then I remembered that WWE hates Smackdown.  This was a fun match at points, and other spots were downright stupid.  I enjoyed it more than I hated, and as predicted, by me first, Naomi beat Alexa.  The sincerest form of flattery is impersonation, remember that.  Still, this match was better than Charlotte and Bayley, and it’s not even debatable from my perspective.  This kept up the energy and told a story. I would give it a 5.0.

  1.  Gallows and Anderson def Sheasaro


Keri:  Overall great match. I was actually shocked that they took the belts off of Sheasaro so soon. Yet after the rumble match, I understand why they did it. Sheasaro was a good tag team but a singles feud between the two of them is great to watch (I would use epic here but we do not use that word on this blog). As for Anderson and Gallows winning, I couldn’t be happier. It’s about time. Rating: 5.5 out of 9.2

Kent:  Well, when you are wrong, one must own up to it.  Here, I was wrong.  No excuses.  Well I have one excuse, which is more of a question.  What purpose does this really serve?  Sheasaro had more story to tell.  I think that there’s more to come.  If they pulled the plug because of the reactions, that’s booking’s fault for continually blowing it.  I’m happy for Gallows and Anderson, I genuinely am.  I just don’t see the logic.  I don’t know why I didn’t predict a lack of logic from RAW.  My bad.  Russ nailed it.  This match was OK, but nothing great.  I would say it gets a 4.1.  I have no interest in rewatching it.

  1.  Nia Jax def Sasha Banks


Keri:  Well this match happened. Is there really anything else to say? Let’s face it Nia is horrible. She’s still extremely green and very hesitant in the ring. She really should still be in NXT. But she isn’t because, the Rock. As for Sasha, my how the “mighty” have fallen. This match just further buried her into obscurity. Which leads me to the following question: Was she that good in NXT or did NXT creative just book us to believe she was? Either way, what is happening to her is extremely sad and unfortunate. Rating 0.5 out of 9.2 (I feel bad giving this one a 0 hence the half point)

Kent:  Oh lord.  Please, get Nia off of my TV screen.  She doesn’t look talented or imposing and her in ring actions don’t change that perspective, like Kevin Owens actually does work.  Nia’s history of doing a move, waiting 5-10 seconds, rinse, repeat, rarely sell a move.  It doesn’t work, mainly because she doesn’t know how to do it, or maybe she just can’t.  I know that wrestling isn’t easy.  If it was, more people would be great at it.  This isn’t for Nia.  This match was abysmal.  I don’t see the appeal moving forward.  Rumor has it that Nia is going to be in a 4 way for the belt at Mania.  Just patiently waiting for her to win it so I can laugh at the women’s division.  RAW would legitimately be better off with NXT’s women’s division than what they have.  Think about it, and know that I am right.  Worst match of the night, and it certainly wasn’t Sasha’s fault.  She must be getting more in shape as it appears that her boobs are shrinking.  Just an observation, from a female actually.  I am just reiterating it.  I give this match a 2.0 and moving right along.

  1.  Charlotte def Bayley


Keri:  Another match that happened. It was not impressive and it did nothing to further this feud with me. I’m not at all surprised by this because the RAW women’s division is awfully booked. However,  we should have been given something better than this to watch. I don’t blame either woman though. They can only work with what they are given. With that being said, this division is very unfortunate and I quite frankly don’t care enough about it anymore to say anything further about it. Rating: 1 out of 9.2

Kent:  Bayley isn’t improving.  Working with Charlotte isn’t going to help because she needs to rely on some veterans, like say Alicia and Emma.  Sorry for bringing logic in here.  From my perspective, Bayley is absolutely being wasted.  She should be in the top 5 for merchandise and one of the most popular figures in wrestling.  The crowd’s pop has been declining.  Even worse, Bayley isn’t improving in the ring.  Charlotte at least improved once she got called up.  Sasha has actually gone in reverse.  Becky has improved too.  Alexa and Carmella have improved.  Why is that?  Because they are working with Natalya, Nikki, and Naomi.  Gee, that’s an easy fix.  I just rewatched this match, and it was still bad.  I was hoping to find something really positive to say.  The finishing move was good.  There, that’s all I have.  Why didn’t they have Charlotte put Bayley in the Figure 8 and have Bayley pass out from the pain?  That builds up both characters incredibly well.  I give this one a 3.6.

  1.  Kevin Owens def Roman Reigns


Keri:  This match exceeded my expectations. I’m starting to see what my colleagues are talking about with Roman. He really steps up when he needs to and puts on a great show when he needs to. His mic work, well that is another story. With that being said, this match actually told a good story and showcased both guys well. I almost think that Smackdown writers handled this one. Rating: 7 out of 9.2

Kent:  I liked this match in that it was a good car crash type of match with plenty of good wrestling and spots.  My issue lies in the lack of logic.  Owens has a pair of brass knucks.  He uses them once and then abandons them.  WHY?  WHY WHY WHY WHY?  I don’t get it.   It really was bad booking.  In the end, this was probably the 2nd most enjoyable match for me, but there were too many issues.  Why did Owens set up that final chair up top?  If anything, that hurt him more than anything and looked dangerous.  I don’t dig that stuff when the payoff simply isn’t there.  Both guys did a great job, and this was their best match to date, I believe. I would give this a 7.2 as it held my attention the whole way through.

  1.  Neville def Rich Swann


Keri:  This match was good and both guys did a good job. I’m happy that Neville won given the lack of recognition that he has had since getting his call up. However, I’m also sad to see Swann lose it. I really like that guy. Oh well, I have a feeling this story is far from over so I predict we will see these two again. Rating 6.5 out of 9.2

Kent:  I tried my best to feel this match, but I couldn’t get into it.  It happens.  Both guys were awesome.  It was a really good match.  I wish this had opened the show, to be perfectly honest.  These guys delivered.  I like that Neville won with a submission as opposed to the flashy Red Arrow. I feel comfortable giving this a 6.3 as I am positive that I would enjoy it even more upon second viewing.  

  1.  John Cena def AJ Styles


Keri:  Well the inevitable happened. Cena is champ once more. Cue sarcastic yea followed by a groan. With that being said said, this was a fantastic match. Both guys put on another great show. This leads me to another question. Can these two guys put on a bad match?  Rating: 7 out of 9.2.  I’m deducting a half a point because Cena is champ again and now I have to endure hearing the champ is here again. Groan. Le sigh.

Kent:  Sigh.  This match was amazing, right down to the ending.  Cena, just lose a feud, just once man.  That was one of the finest matches that I have seen over the past 10 years.  Cena doesn’t need it.  He’s already cemented his pace among the top 4 all time.  This wasn’t needed.  Yay, now we can look forward to AJ vs Shane O’Mac.  Honestly, I am so not looking forward to it.  Cena delivered 4 AA’s I believe.  Those last 3-4 minutes were ALMOST epic, well they were really F’N good.  Hats off to both guys who busted their asses to give us the match of the year so far.  I love when Cena actually busts out different moves because he has the talent and ability to have great matches.  If he would just bring it more often, he would be more beloved by fans.  I would give this a 7.8.

  1.  Royal Rumble


Keri:  This was a good Rumble. It had its great points, good points, and well, meh points. Let’s start with the great points. First, there was the Rumble debut of Tye Dillinger. That was unexpected and also the only surprise of the night. Then there was the Brock elimination by Goldberg. I put this in the great category but it was almost unbelievable to me that Brock let this happen to him again. Yea for storytelling. And my last great moment was Baron eliminating Braun. That was completely unexpected but yet fantastic at the same time given the fact that bob are getting a similar push. Now for the good moments. Well there was the Ellsworth and Kalisto law dart moment. Yes it looked scary for both involved but it was entertaining. We had the Ceasaro come in and do the everyone gets a swing spot. Baron getting eliminated by Taker was another good moment. Now before everyone gets upset let me explain. I want to see this feud somehow. It would be great for Corbin. But alas, because I wanted, it will not happen. We are probably getting Roman-Taker and we are going to like it. Le Sigh. Anyways, now onto the meh moments from the Rumble. There are two for me. First, Roman at number 30. I’m going to channel Obi Wan when I say this was not the Samoan I was looking for to close out the Rumble. I really wanted Samoa Joe. I really thought after seeing him the crowd at Takeover that it maybe a possibility. Oh well. Now onto my final meh moment. The ending. Why Orton? You have Bray in the final three and you chose Orton? I don’t get it WWE. Rating: 6 out of 9.2

Kent:  First off, why the hell was the entrance sooooooooo long this year? While not as bad as Wrestlemania 3, still it was rough.  The easiest way is to look at this is by considering the pro’s and the con’s.  Let’s start with the cons.  They wasted the legends by pulling the most obvious bullshit in having them all at the end instead of spreading it out and adding intrigue.  They had a serious lack of surprise entrants and with all of the talent, should have done a 40 man Rumble in 90 second increments.  It would have allowed more eliminations for guys like Baron and Mojo.  That’s a whole other issue.  Those guys should have gotten 2-4 eliminations each to help build them up.  But no, waste it on Brock and Goldberg.  Roman Reigns.  Roman Reigns eliminating Taker.  The utter waste of most of the conditioned talent like Sami, Jericho, Dolph, and Dean.  They were more there for fodder and not so much in contributing to eliminations and action.  I hated how bad it got with the way that all the guys not involved in a spot was either lined up along camera side apron, or furthest from camera side along the apron.  Seriously, this happened WAY too often.  I felt that the pacing was pretty lousy.  Now let’s do the pros.  While I wouldn’t have used Tye, I am happy that he got a reaction and I dig him.  I liked that they built up Braun, but they just raped his character back to back weeks prior.  Jericho lasted for over an hour and did some fun stuff at times.  Taker tossing out Goldberg.  This was packed with talent.  One of the most stacked Rumbles ever.  I have seen it twice, and I loved watching Bray, Randy, and Luke.  Overall, I would give this a 6.4.  I didn’t love it, I didn’t hate it.  I really expected more though.

  1.  Overall, rate the PPV.

Keri:  Overall, this was a descent PPV. There were high points (Owens vs Reigns; Cena vs. Styles; the Rumble) and then there were the low points (the RAW women’s matches). Then there was everything else in between. Either way I was entertained by a good majority of it. Overall rating: 6 out of 9.2

Kent:  This gets a 6.28 from me.  I got this # by ignoring the kickoff show, and only focusing on ratings that I provided for the main show.  I averaged those numbers, but with one caveat.  I included the Rumble # twice in my calculations based on length of match, it seemed more fair.  Unfortunately, Charlotte and Bayley happened.


Bonus Deuce

  1.  What do you make of the surprises, or lack thereof, of surprises in this year’s Royal Rumble match?   Also, any thoughts on no Kane, Goldust, or R Truth?

Keri:  This Rumble was kind of predictable. There were now major surprise entrants like we have seen in years past. It was just boring in that respect. I was not in the edge of my seat for any of the entrances at any more during the Rumble. Also, I was kinda surprised that we didn’t get Kane, Goldust, or R Truth. But then again the field was already getting kinda full in the weeks leading up to the Rumble. So probably they just did not have room for them in the line up especially since Roman had to come in at number 30.

Kent:  I love Tye Dillinger.  I am super high on this guy.  I loved seeing Gallagher, and he made sense.  Hell, I didn’t mind Ellsworth, but I would have left him off.  I really wanted to see Samoa Joe at the very least.  I was ok with Finn being held out due to his health.  Enzo, Kalisto, Mojo, and a few others had zero chance.  I would have left off Sheamus and Cesaro and Roman for that matter, and given those spots to Kane, Goldust, and either R Truth or one of the other surprise guys.  So yes, I have gripes.  We could have used that surprise guy like a Booker T, but I am happy for Mark Henry.

  1.  Was it smart to keep Rollins off the PPV?  Was it smart to bring Roman back?

Keri:  Nope and nope. Rollins should have been put somewhere in last nights show in order to keep his story relevant. Why didn’t they have a backstage segment involving the actions that took place the previous night at Takeover? Why did we have to wait for RAW to get that? Nevermind I know that Creative isn’t smart enough to answer my questions so I don’t now why I’m asking them. As for Roman, putting him in the final spot of the Rumble was kinda of a waste. Someone else could have taken this spot instead of Roman. Why does it always have to be Roman? Roman. Roman. Roman.

Kent:  Smart?  As soon as Steph said that Seth was banned from ringside, I would have bet Russ’ life that he was showing up.  That’s a staple of WWE.  I was surprised.  I hate how people have now equated being surprised to to quality booking, think Brock vs Goldberg.  We all know that HHH is passing the torch to Seth, and I’ll be glad when it’s done and over with.  As for Roman, complete waste of a spot  He could and should have come out and eliminated Braun and left.    Even better would have been him going to spear Braun and accidentally spear Goldberg.  That would have been way more interesting.  Him eliminating Taker?  Whatever.  They were simply trolling us, so they are not getting a rise out of me.


  1.  Was Braun the right guy to get the most amount of eliminations?

Keri:  Maybe. Creative has made attempts to strongly book this guy in the past few months and they have failed. Maybe this was their way of changing that fact. Who knows?

Kent:  No.  He’s been acting like a pussy recently, so fuck him.  How’s that for being blunt?  Baron or Mojo could have used that way more.  That’s on RAW’s piss poor booking, not on Braun the talent.


  1.  Knowing what we know now, including the rumored Wrestlemania matches, what are you most and least looking forward to?

Keri:  Based on the rumored card, I can’t think of anything I’m specifically looking forward to come time for Mania. This is the most lackluster Mania ever. I’ll watch because it’s Mania but I doubt I’ll enjoy it. Seriously, what is WWE thinking here? This just sounds bad and they should feel bad.

Kent:  Baron Corbin not having a match?  Cena vs Orton for the first time ever?  HHH vs Seth?  AJ vs Shane?  Charlotte vs Nia vs Sasha vs Bayley?  Enzo and Cass vs Gallows and Anderson?  Jericho vs Owens?  Rusev not having a match?  Big Show vs Shaq?  Goldberg vs Brock?  Bray jobbing?  I hate Wrestlemania without knowing anything about it.  I am looking forward to Roman getting boo’d out of the building and finally doing his character properly…..I hope.  I’m on Team Roman, and you can’t teach that…I mean, Believe that.


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