#1 House of 1,000 Corpses (2003)

Originally posted October 3, 2013

So here’s the deal, I just watched House of 1,000 Corpses and Devil’s Rejects like 2 weeks ago thanks to IFC having it on a Saturday night when I am bored as all hell. So I removed the films from the calendar. Then sure enough, Monday night, Tuesday morning for you pretentious bastards, I found myself flipping through “the guide” and saw this was on. It was fate, so I obliged.

Now let me start off by saying that the hype behind this movie was unreal, like to the point where it couldn’t live up to everybody’s expectations. Here you have Rob Zombie making some bad ass violent flick and all sorts of rumors and hullabaloo. Then people watched it and was disappointed. Then the critics unleashed hell upon it. Too many morons calling it a Texas Chainsaw massacre rip off because they have only ever seen the giants of the genre and never explored deeper. Yeah, there are similarities, but that’s like saying Child’s Play and Leprechaun are the same movie because the lead characters are midgets. Chucky was a midget right…..? Anyway, aside from the haters, the lazy reviews, and people who just don’t like gore, you are left with a decent group of followers that enjoyed the movie. I am one of them. And by now, a quarter of the readers are done and have lost hope in me.

So here are are perks of this movie. 1. Dwight Schrute from The Office is in this. 2. Chris Hardwick (a tad chubbier than he is today) from Talking Dead, Talking Bad, and Singled Out fame is in this. 3. The chicks are nice to look at and a nice amount of tits. And don’t give me some sexism bullshit. Horror doesn’t necessarily have to have tits, but anything in the slasher genre really should. 4. Lots of gore which can be fun in the right movie, and this type of movie fits the bill.

5. The bad guys, the villains, the crazy family that kills up everybody. NOW this is the heart and soul of this movie. Granted, the characters are somewhat shallow and in the sequel, the main ones get more fleshed out, but this was a good start. A little bit of character goes a long way in the first of a series. I love Sherri Moon, she’s not bad to look at and plays her part well. Sid Haig as Captain Spaulding is borderline iconic, and may make for a fine tattoo. Karen Black is fine as Mother Firefly. I would be remiss not to give props to Matthew McGrory as Tiny as he always seemed like an awesome dude. As a matter of fact, Devil’s Rejects was dedicated to his memory. Dr Satan was just there and kind of disappointing after all the hype. 2 characters though were head and shoulders above the rest. Grandpa Hugo played by Dennis Fimple was absolutely hilarious in his short time on screen. The MVP though for me was Bill Moseley who played Otis. Otis may not have had the most lines, or any funny one liners, but he was the most violent and artistic, and sadistic, and I always felt he never gets the props he deserves. Walton Goggins is also in this in a small but memorable scene that people either loved or hated, depending on how you feel about waiting for like 20 seconds in like dead silence and no movement before the gun goes off. I personally found it masterful.

Was this the best, end all, be all movie of it’s genre? Hell no. Did it have great characters, a decent enough plot, and some good deaths? Hell yes. If you go in over hyping it, you will walk away disappointed. Me personally, I give it a 7.5 and consider it a fine way to start the month.

All pictures are used for review purposes only. They are the property of Lions Gate Films, Universal Pictures, Spectacle Entertainment Group, and Rob Zombie.  Go buy this film!

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