#102 Maniac (2012)

I have heard really great things about this movie. It’s been widely regarded as one of the better modern horror films and it stars Elijah Wood. It only got a 6.1 on IMDB, which to me is in the perfect territory because people who rank movies on IMDB don’t know shit typically, so between 4-6.5 is prime rating range usually for surprisingly good horror.

We have already found a dumb bitch! That didn’t take long at all. Even better, we saw a creepy look from Elijah in his vehicle’s rear view mirror. I LOVE creepy stuff in mirrors, so that was an easy way to sell me. We got our first death early on, and it’s quick and subtle with a knife under the chin and a scalping. OK, I can work with this. He has gone online, talked to some chick, they’re gone out to eat. Let’s just say that she has a unique sense of style. This girl is a straight up whoooore. And they are back at her place, he is in her underwear, and we have our first pair of bare tits in 2014. Welcome to the big show now!!!

This is available on Netflix. Alexandre Aja wrote this. He has been involved in other solid movies as Mirrors (duh), High Tension, The Hills Have Eyes  remake, and Piranha 3D which is severely underrated.

So that bitch is dead, a nice choke out why getting some bed loving.  We’re finding out that he makes mannequins, and this is why he scalps his bitches. Curious and curiouser. Lots of mirror shots. I don’t want to sound like a teenager, but I am developing some puppy love for this film. It’s hitting all of these marks I look for in a girl….I mean film. Allllright, a new victim/girl is taking pictures of his storefront with the mannequins, and she’s French and has an ugly hat, but she’s cute. They made some chit chat, she wants to use some mannequins in some exhibit. They just killed about 10 minutes giving us story. Now our boy is back to scouting ladies, and there’s a aerial dancer, one of my favorite things to watch on America’s Got Talent. AND we have our second set of tits! Jackpot!!!

We’re on a subway at night, not many people, always fun. Makes me want to watch Midnight Meat Train. I guess I’m adding that to my list. This bitch, the topless aerial dancer, she is annoying as hell. This movie makes you openly cheer on the bad guy. I hope he tortures her. A slick to her Achilles, and some stabbing, and it wasn’t out and out torture, but she spent the last 5 minutes in terror and the Achilles definitely was terrible.

Blondie is back. Here we go with more story. I’ll let you know when we get more boobs or another sweet kill. I really like the first person perspective of how a migraine works. I’m kind of well versed in headaches.  We now have our third pair of boobs!! Fantastic. I am actually applauding this film in my head.Blondie likes Elijah because she feels like he’s from an older era, awww, he has an old soul. That’s so beautiful. Blondie’s name is Anna, just figured I’d toss that out there. They were at a theater and watched a movie called The Cabinet of Dr.. Caligari from 1920, and it looked pretty sweet. Anna just got a call from her boyfriend, and now or main man Elijah is sad and jealous. The poor dude may have thought he found a soul mate.

So there are a lot of Psycho vibes in this one. His mom messed him up as a kid, I won’t explain why, I gotta leave some mystery here, but it’s all interesting. Haha, he was just talking about photos and I thought he said Frodo. Hey, we have a black guy, we was missing that up to this point. On IMDB, it shows you what movies other people liked includes the 1980 original Maniac, The Loved Ones, the Woman, High Tension, American Mary, and Excision. I guess I need to see American Mary and Excision. We just got some bare mid aged woman ass. They have spread out the T & A very nicely, keep your viewer that way. More violence. I can tell you this much, I have a new favorite Elijah Wood movie.

So many sweet mirror shots. Frank visits Anna, and she has her neighbor over, and he’s this pretentious actor douche who wears a scarf to go next door.  Nice steady cleavage shot. This really makes me feel like I teleported back to the 80’s when horror was amazing, Uh oh, Elijah just dropped the ball, and he was in. He was less than 5 minutes away from sealing the deal, but he said something dumb. This has to be the big finale. Something spectacular just happened. I don’t wanna give away this final scene, but it pleased me.

The whole final 10-15 minutes is awesome as hell. There’s a moral here as well. Women, don’t play with guy’s feelings unless you have legit intentions. Otherwise you risk getting your wig split.

I loved this movie, gonna go with an 8 and now I may have to watch the 1980 version later this month. I was not expecting to be this pleased. Very happy right now.

As always, I don’t own this picture, it’s not mine, I don’t want any legal issues. It’s sweet though.

T & A Count Cumulative for October

3 Bare Boobs

2 Covered Boobs

1 Bare Ass

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