2017 No Mercy Review

Image courtesy of meenapelsis from fiverr.com

Russ and Kent break down No Mercy as only they can.  Unfortunately, this is a week late thanks to technical issues on our servers.  We apologize.  Still, we tried.   Not only that, but on this week’s Are You Not Kentertained we do a better job at selling No Mercy than RAW did.

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The 9

  1.  Elias def Apollo crews

Russ:  Elias is getting pretty popular with the crowds lately.  He always gets a loud pop when he asks people if they want to walk with him.  Overall, this was a good showcase for both guys. This will hopefully lead to a real story on Raw instead of obscurity, which we all know it will. Thought Apollo looked good in losing here.  Rating: 4.6

Kent:  I liked this match because it was a solid showcase for both guys and I wouldn’t mind a feud with actual storylines.  I know, it will be tough with all of that focus on the Finn story, you know, because they clearly tried hard there.  Still, I love when Elias does some spot or move where you think to yourself, this guy is a special combination or strength, size, and speed.  Can I get Elias vs Luke?  That’s a match I would pay extra for.  

Rating: 5.5 I really enjoyed it

  1.  The Miz def Jason Jordan

Russ:  I thought this match was actually watchable.  Jordan has proven he can be decent in the ring.  Tonight I thought he did another adequate job.  I’m glad they didn’t pull the trigger on him winning.  The Miz was the real star of the match. I just wish they would do more with him on Raw.  Rating: 4.2  

Kent:  Blah.  I am so over this feud.  I am over Jason Jordan.  I am over The Miz on RAW.  Think about all of the the people that came to RAW from the trades.  Bray, Miz, Dean, and Bliss.  Well Alexa has done OK for herself.  Anyway, give the Miz a good feud, like with Bray or Elias.  This match existed, and it was technically sound, but bored me.

Rating: 2.5 I couldn’t get invested in it.

  1.  Finn Balor def Bray Wyatt

Russ:  Ok this match seemed like it was going in a good direction.  Bray kept on getting the upper hand after being very underhanded in attacking Finn before the match even started.  Afterwards they kept on telling a great story of Finn who just wouldn’t quit even when the odds were against him.  This was a perfect opportunity to give Bray a win. Then it goes to shit at the end and they give Balor the win.  I have no idea what giving Balor the win accomplishes, especially the way the match started, except to continually bury Bray.  I can’t wait to see what stupid ass excuse Bray comes up with as he goes after his next victim.  Rating: 3.2

Kent:  So they start off with bray injuring Finn.  Perfect excuse to give Bray a win and lengthen the feud, perhaps tell a story, you know, anything that would make you give a fuck about this feud.  Nope.  The match was really well done.  I do have a major gripe and it’s towards Bray actually.  It is beyond infuriating when Bray catches his opponent for the set up to Sister Abigail, and the opponent just has to lay back in Bray’s arms.  It’s so absurd, no matter how early into the match.  I wish they would alter that somehow.  This match was really good.  Lots of good action.  The outcome was silly.  Bray beat regular Finn before, why is he losing now?  Who can Finn feud with now?  This story was absolutely stupid, no matter the spin that some may put on it, like Eric.  I don’t feel a story was told.  I don’t believe anybody sat there prior to the match and thought: “My God, the story that Bray and Finn have told has been something I care about or will remember ever.”  No, nobody will remember it positively.  Waste of god damn time.

  1.  The Fist def The Bar

Russ:  Wow, this match was brutal!  I have always hated the slingshot because of how fake it looks, but man did Cesaro’s face plant into post look brutal.  He also lost a lot of his front teeth there.  Got to give him credit though he kept on fighting.  This was good match, lots of hard hits and great back and forth.  Best match of the night so far and one I’d happily watch again, with exception of that slingshot, I cringed every time they replayed it.,  Rating: 6.2  

Kent:  This match delivered, surprise surprise.  The tag team matches at PPV’s have been the shining light all summer.  So good.  I gotta give Cesaro big time props for sticking it out.  Like, I probably would have cried a bit.  What holds this back is that Sheasaro didn’t win after White Noise and then the powerbomb.  That should have finished it.  Poor booking, but great match.  Still, not enough for a 7.

Rating: 6.4 sadly the wrong team won with Cena booking.

  1.  Alexa retained her belt against Emma, Bayley, Sasha, and Nia

Russ:  Well, Emma didn’t take the pin.  WWE was very adamant that she wouldn’t and boy were they right.  Of course overall she was a complete no-factor anyway.  This was boring, which is sad because they had several great competitors in the ring.  I thought Nia did a good job, but I’m not sure how Alexa got the win in the end.  I thought I was paying attention to most of the match, but I can’t remember the ending.  Rating: 3.1

Kent:  That was a really good match.  I thoroughly enjoyed how they kept me Kentertained throughout the match.  Kudos for Nia kneeing herself in the face after that powerbomb.  I gotta say that Michael Cole is a retard saying that he has never seen the stacked Samoan Drop.  Ryback says hello.  I know that Cole called his matches.  Emma looked good as did Sasha.  Bayley didn’t look like she belonged and that worries me a lot.  Alexa is gonna be the one to keep the belt until Asuka debuts.  Will Asuka immediately get a title shot for doing nothing?  Bayley did!

Rating: 5.2 because Emma should have won, and Bayley didn’t really do shit.

  1.  Roman kicked out of 4 AA’s and beat Cena…yeah

Russ:   This was a tale of two matches and how we are supposed to see this match.  The first tale of this match was the decent back and forth between the two guys.  I thought for the first 10 minutes they did a really good job of telling a good story.  Then Roman got AA’d and everything went downhill.  That brings us to the second tale of this story and how cartoony it all felt.  After that first AA Cena kept on upping his AA game and Roman kept on kicking out.  I’m ok with him kicking out of one AA, but after that every other AA was a super AA or more than 1 AA.  Which would have put out any other wrestler.  They really made the AA look useless.  Overall it wasn’t a bad match, but between these two I expected a lot more and I don’t feel they delivered it.  If this was a Mania Main Event caliber match then it bombed because it never once felt like a Mania match.  Rating: 5  

Kent:  Fuck this.  4 AA’s, kick out.  This win is more important than beating Taker at Mania.  FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! No!  Why even have finishing moves?

Rating: Go fuck yourself

  1.  Enzo kicked Neville in the nuts to win the Cruiserweight belt

Russ:  Beetlejuice outfit?  Sure why not Enzo.  Decent match.  Enzo had some good lines in his intro.  He can be pretty clever when he wants to.  Also, I Thought Enzo did a good job making Neville look good.  The crowd was dead for this.  Which was sad, because they’ve been pretty good most the night.  I don’t understand why everything Enzo does is underhanded and slimy, yet he is the face?  He has to cheat every time he is out in the ring or he loses.  Now he is Cruiserweight Champ.  Should make 205 Live interesting.  Too bad I doubt I’ll see how it plays out, unless they show it on Raw.  Rating: 4.7

Kent:  To sum up my feelings as I just text to Twan.  “Jinder Mahal approves of that match’s finish,”  Yeah, the match was fine, and it was creative.  Kudos to how good that leaping DDT that Enzo does.  

  1.  Brock Lesnar defeats Braun Strowman

Russ:  Wow, way to not shake things up WWE.  WWE had a chance to do something right and give a great up and comer in Braun the belt and a chance to shine.  Instead they kept with the Status Quo.  I guess they made Braun look strong in the first 3 minutes.  The next 5 minutes was a bit of a mix between the two where you thought: “Well Braun still has a chance.”  Then the last 3 minutes of the match ended all hope for those of us who thought it would be nice to have a change up at the top.  Missed opportunity WWE, but that has been the story of the WWE for the past 5 months.  Gotta give Roman one more torch cause he loves collecting them.  Rating: 4.2

Kent:  Oh yay, a 10 minute match. Okay, maybe 11 minutes, but I wrote that before the match happened.  It’s sad how easy that was to predict.  What a shit show!  I enjoyed the match for what it was, but you just killed Braun and his momentum.  For what?  To give us Brock vs Roman, the rematch that nobody is asking for?  Thank your WWE kids.  “Thanks Vince!”

Rating: 4.0 and moving along displeased.

  1.  Rate No Mercy overall.

Russ:  It felt like watching Raw except there weren’t commercials for products other than WWE anyway.  There were also a lot less promos.  The matches were not out right bad, which I guess is a minor win, but none of them came close to being must watch.  The only belt that ended up changing hands was the cruiserweight belt, so there is that.  Raw Exclusive PPV’s are just like watching Raw on the USA Network.  Very boring and safe.  So why the fuck am I paying WWE $10 a month?  Oh, right!  I’m a fucking idiot!  Overall Rating:  4.2  

Kent:  Loud over exaggerated yawn.  I should have just watched horror movies all night.  Waste of my mother fucking time.

Overall: 3,8 thanks to the big matches sucking long hard schlongs

Bonus Deuce Deuce

  1. Worst match of the night.

Russ:  Take the whole night!  Alright:  for me it was it was the Woman’s Title Match.  I watched the whole damn thing and I can’t remember much about it.  The Finn and Bray match was damned close to being just as bad. 

Kent:  Miz vs Jordan to no surprise.  You cannot be shocked.  Cena and Roman is a close second for pissing me off.

  1.  Best match of the night.

Russ:  The Tag team match.  It wasn’t great, but it was the best thing offered on this mediocre borefest called No Mercy.  Also, I have to give props to Cesaro for finishing that match!  

Kent:  Tough call, but I think the tag team match but the women were damn close.  I liked both a lot.  I give the slight edge to the tag teams.  

Final Thoughts

Russ:  I feel like I wasted my time with No Mercy.  The worst part, I’ll continue to waste my time with the fall out tomorrow on Raw and then of course I’ll have to watch Smackdown.  By the time the podcast comes around I’m going to be very sick of wrestling.  Oh sure, WWE could shock me and make their TV show’s good, but we all know it is a safe bet that isn’t true.  

Kent:  Twix makes a fine candy bar.  Channel Zero is a great TV show on SyFy Wednesday nights.  It’s way better than AHS.  Fuck RAW, Fuck Smackdown, Fuck AHS, watch Channel Zero and eat Twix.  This was 3 plus hours of my life that I won’t ever get back.

All pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are property of WWE and wwe.com.

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