I Drink Your Blood (1970)

I know that this film has a group of satanist hippies who wreak havoc on a town.  I know that there is a rape, and I believe some kind of infection happens in the movie.  This was originally given an X Rating due to the graphic violence, and now you know how I chose this movie.Still, I don’t know how bad violence can look in 1970.  Salo came out in 75 and that was brutal.  The challenge has been laid out by me.  I am hoping this impresses me.  I will be writing about the film as it happens, and in my industry, folks call that spoilers, so if you wish to avoid them, scroll  to the last paragraph where I will give you my final thought and a rating.   I want to note that this was apparently filmed in Sharon Springs, NY which is awfully close to me.  Interesting.   Cheers fuckfaces!

 

SPOILERS

Oh man, it starts off in the most grindhouse way, and I’m excited.  This promises to be awful.  Oh man, just starting off with a nude man and his bushy ways, and now lots of people’s bare asses at this satanic ritual meeting.  Satan was an acid head apparently.  The one chick is night to look at.  OK, time to drink from the cup while this chick is spying on the group.  2 of the girls aren’t bad at all.  So they pledge to worship and all of that stuff, including willing to kill for him.  They cut a chicken’s throat, and is dripping blood on a nude woman, and the spy is found, so we get great chase music.  The black dude is super jacked.  Oh the spy is the girl who supposedly got raped.  The black dude has a great belt.  I already have a favorite character.  So the group’s vehicle breaks down so all but one get out, the other guy is sleeping, so they push the vehicle down into a stream and it’s really fucked up.  Mildred accuses her boyfriend’s construction crew of being responsible for the rape of Sylvia.  Horace is the leader of the group and he’s a jacked Native American.  I really hate that term.    Sue Lin is Horace’s Asian chick, and he carries a sword.  The boy warns them that this place they are breaking into is haunted and infest with rats, which we then see a rat hunt of epic proportions.  So weird.  By the way, this town only has a population of 40, so most places are abandoned.  Well, they killed like 30 rats.  Oh, the black dude’s name is Rollo.  Even better!  Because Rollo caught the most rats, he is the master of Sados for the night, I guess.  Ohhh, they do another ritual and they cut the bottom of this dude’s feet.  Damn.  Pete asks his grandpa what he’s doing, but grandpa ha a shotty and he ain’t scurred.  

The group have strung up bloody foot guy and grandpa has found them.  This ought to be fascinating.  Pete followed Grandpa like a dumbass.  Grandpa confronts them, and Horace breaks his glasses and steals his gun and then punches him in the belly.  Sir, you have shit for game.  All talk.  The short haired chick just put some shit in his mouth, I’m sure it’s LSD or something of that nature based on what I have read.  Horace goes after Pete, but he gets kicked in the nuts, and now the chase is, well it’s over, Pete is swinging a big stick like he’s Shelley Duvall going up the stairs fending off Jack.  Pete gets his grandpa and they head back home.  Alrighty.  Grandpa is now home tripping his balls off.  Pete is really impressed, and loading a shogun.  Well Pete shot a mad dog.  Then he went out and extracted some of it’s rabie riddled blood.  Pete has Mildred make some extra pies for the hippies and is going to inject those pies with bod rabie blood.  This kid is fucking great.  He sells the hippies a dozen of meat pies for a quarter apiece.  I don’t know if that is cheap or the going rate for a meat pie in 1970.  Yes, I am curious.  The hippies, except for Andy, who’s been a real whiny bitch this whole film, are enjoying some meat pie.  

Andy sees Sylvia and apologizes for what happened.  Oh, Sados stands for Sons and daughters of Satan.  I am oblivious at times.  Well the sados all have upset stomachs, and Horace wants revenge.  Sue Lin is doing some tarot cards at night and draws the death card.  Uh oh.  She wants Rollo to kill bloody foot guy and so he does, and Andy is a Debbie Downer, as you would expect and then runs away as Rollo gives chase, but Rollo looks messed up, and he finds an axe, awesome.  Horace wakes up and sees the dead dude.  Rollo comes back in seeing shit and swinging the axe at Sue Lin, and he gets shot at and then he chops off one of bloody foot’s feet.  I think Bloody Foot may have been named Shelley.  Rollo is chasing short haired girl through the woods.  Everybody has lost their damn minds.  Roger sends some of the guys to check out what the hell the group is up to.  This chick is such a skank, good for her!  Some of the guy’s find Shelley’s body.  Horace lynch’s one of the guys, the one with the gun, and Horace is foaming at the mouth and this fucking awful noise is playing.  Jesus, enough.  Horace hurts the other guy too.  Any and Sylvia are rolling around in hay.  I think the guys with short haired chick is about to pull a train.  She’s about to give everybody rabies.  This one guy is really adamant about giving her a shower, no that isn’t some figurative thing.  I think short hair may be named Molly.  Carrie is the name of the hot ginger who is a mute.  She has been escorting the pregnant lady.  Carrie also just attacked this nice lady who allowed them in and cut the lady’s hand off.  Pregnant chick took off.  

All of the construction workers are rabid, and some have machetes.  There’s like 8 of them.  This is fucking hilarious.  They don’t like being splashed upon.  There are 10+ grown men having a splashing water fight.  Horace just found a big ass snake in a cage.  This should go well.  Why was this rated X?  Haha, the owner comes out in a white onesie pair of PJ’s and then wrestles with him and puts him in a sleeper.  The fuck was that all about?  Molly is the name of pregnant girl, so short haired girl was Sylvia.  Yes, two characters were named Sylvia in this for some stupid reason.Molly now knows that she has rabies, so she stabs herself in the belly.  Rollo is still on the loose and looking amazing.  Sue Lin wants to kill Mildred.  Roger has a great head of hair.  I think Grandpa has a pitchfork through his throat.  When did that happen?  Mildred is pretty attractive.  Roget leaves Mildred so now Sue Lin and pouring gas on the store, and Horace is running around with his sword and tells Sue Lin to die.  She doses the ground with gas and sits and he charges at her with his ridiculous sword and she lights herself on fire.  Andy, Sylvia and Pete are running, and they are in between Rollo and Horace, who apparently need to square off in a dream matchup, sword vs axe.  This scene proves that as long as you have committed people and a video camera, you can make a film.  The construction people are dragging a goat and Mildred will not let  Sylvia, Pete, or Andy in..  Andy is beheaded and now Mildred lets them in.  Rollo and Horace are still spinning to win.  Some of the absolute worst sound effects in the history of ever.  Mildred, Sylvia, and Pete go downstairs, Rollo kills Horace.  The construction workers are invading the basement, but Mildred as the shotty.  Shotgun bang, what’s up with that thang, I wanna know, how does it hang?  

So Rollo is the last of the original group standing. Mildred is using the water hose to buy some time and they make it into the car.  Did Rollo just die via water hose?  The workers rock the car.  The cops show up and are just firing.  They keep re-using the same footage of the guns firing.  Hahaha.  Roger tells them to hold their fire.   The car got flipped, but they all lived.    

“Death by hydrophobia is agony.” – Police Officer #1

End Film

 

Final Thoughts – You know what, this was bad, but in that entertainingly bad movie that knew it was cheesy but went all out and tried and in that regard, they succeeded.  So many movies try so hard and fall way short because the plot is shit, or it’s miscast.  This one succeeded in all the areas it needed to.  This is definitely a film I will see again a few more times.

Rating: 5.7 Mainly guilty pleasure material here, did they did have a decent script all things considered.  For a close to 50 year old film, they did good.

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