Unfortunately for Kent, we didn’t get our PMS. What we did find was some Absolution. We also found out that we are all dead, and the Ascension are poisoned. The Hype Bros are no more, Dean is on his honeymoon, and adding a T to the end of Riott makes all of the difference when it comes to marketing. We talked about this, plus much more on this week’s episode of Are You Not Kentertained which you can also subscribe to on iTunes.
- Paige’s group is called Absolution. They attacked Mickie, Bayley, and Sasha. They were too scurred to attack Asuka after her ridiculously long match with Dana. Also, Alexa ran away from commentary. Did all of this work for you or do you have gripes?
Russ: For this blog I’m going to try and make compliment sandwiches. Why you ask? Because I want to try something gimmicky, geez get off my back! For those of you who don’t know what a compliment sandwich is let me enlighten you. It is a way to mask criticism by starting with something positive, then diving into the criticism and finally ending with another positive aspect. What I’m saying is there was a lot to criticise this week and I’m trying to stay positive! Here we go! First, a compliment: I like the name Absolution it has a good ring to it. It’s no PMS ™ but once Kent verbally trademarked the name last week WWE had to go another direction and they did a good job. Ok the meat of the sandwich the gripe: Can WWE please come up with an original story for once in their damn lives. Every heel female for the past year has claimed to start the women’s revolution, and dammit they are pissed for not getting the credit they deserve. While Paige might have more claims to this argument than some of the others the story has already been done and it’s time for a new one. Gripe 2: Why did Absolution come out after Asuka’s match. I get it, we all want to see Paige vs Asuka (a ways down the line, like 2019 Wrestlemania, so Asuka can have the undefeated streak for a good amount of time only to have Paige be the one to take it away from her.) but this served no point only to show that Absolution is afraid of Asuka. Finally, The last compliment: Paige is still the best looking pasty white girl in the WWE.
Keri: Let me start out by saying that this Absolution storyline is the most exciting thing the E has done in awhile. I’m so glad Paige is back. With that said, still not sure where this is heading. I’m not complaining though. Paige is being set up right now to own this division and possibly Asuka. I don’t think they looked weak not going after Asuka this week. I think they are going to play with her for awhile and that is fine. We complain that the E has a tendency to rush things but want them to rush this storyline. You can’t have it both ways everyone. (Kent: Hey, no bringing logic into a wrestling blog. We’re going to lose our smark cred.)
Kent: I do have one gripe….sorry, typical Kent behavior, I know. Why come out after Asuka’s match if you aren’t going to attack? It makes the group look weak. 3 fresh fighters should be able to take out 1, no matter how good they are, unless it’s like Bruce Lee. I get that they want to keep Asuka looking strong, and that’s fine. You have 2 options. 1. Just don’t have Absolution come out for Asuka….it’s that simple. 2. Have Asuka get her ass kicked in a 3 on 1 to get the fans riled up. Asuka will not look weak in this scenario, whatsoever. I liked everything else, except Sonya Blackman on the mic. I have a feeling that she is going to be my new whipping girl.
- Seth Rollins: he had a great match with Cesaro on RAW and an absolutely dreadful post match interview. Praise, Mock, Discuss
Russ: Compliment: This was a great match. Both guys gave us one hell of a show. I just wish the match didn’t get interrupted by commercials. I was very Kentertained. Ok Complaint: Stop Interviewing people immediately after a match! He was clearly winded and made it hard to listen to him. Also, I have no idea what the hell he was talking about when it came to Dean. This was bad. Compliment: Seth has nice facial hair.
Keri: The match was good with some really good spots. But why does it seem like WWE matches are so slow to me. It just looked like both guys were going through the motions of putting on a good match. There were points like that was cool but why are you taking so long to get to the next sequence. In short it was good but too slow. As for that post match promo, that was just awful. They should really stop that.
Kent: This was the best singles match that Seth has had since his return from injury, I think. I am happy for him. I also don’t blame him for having a horrendous promo, but it happened, and I gotsta bitch. Please, stop with promos after a match. The performers are too winded and the promo really comes off terribly. On top of that, the promo that they gave him, even under normal circumstances would have bombed. Like, this was a really bad promo. One of the worst that he’s cut in WWE, possibly his worse. So, as Dickens would say, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. A Tale of Two Kitties, I mean Cities, bitches.
- Was Titus’ match a good showing for Titus, or more of the same, or even bad?
Russ: Ok, this one might be tough, but here it goes. Compliment: I thought Titus had one of his better matches in recent memory, possibly his best singles match. Compliant: Even though this was one of his best matches this was one of the worst for Joe. I’m not sure what happened here, but these two felt out of sync to me. Compliment: Titus is trying to woo Dana Brooke that can’t end badly for anyone involved.
Keri: From what I was able to watch in the recap, it looked like a decent match. I honestly liked it better when Titus was managing people and trying to get them to join Titus Worldwide though.
Kent: I felt that it was a tad clunky at times, but this was the best I have seen Titus in ring in a long while, so I am going to say it was a good showing. Joe gave him more offense than I anticipated, and I feel that Titus could feud with somebody right now, and I could be interested. Or just feud him and Apollo with the Good Brothers.
- Would you rather Roman have a feud with Samoa Joe or Elias?
Russ: This will be tough to answer with a compliment sandwich, but I will do my best. Compliment: Roman vs Elias was a really good match. I’m very impressed with how Elias has progressed since his call up. He is a definite star and it is only a matter of time before he will be the IC champion. Complaint: Why does it have to be a feud between just one of them. Why can’t they both be involved. I could see a nice triple threat match at Royal Rumble (I think the next PPV for RAW is the Royal Rumble.) They could tear the house down. Complement: If it is going to be Joe I think that we are in for a good time. If they can tell the right story between these two and then let them have at it in the ring. We could be very Kentertained.
Keri: I’m torn here because I know what a feud with Roman potentially means for whoever he is feuding with at the time. I’m not saying he has taken Cena’s golden shovel yet but Creative is starting to book him that way. Look at the match that Elias put on with him on RAW. Elias looked damn good in that match but in the end it was AA, I mean, spear 1-2-3 and a Roman win. I know what you are saying Keri did you really expect Roman to drop the belt a week after winning it? No I didn’t and that’s not what I’m sayin at all. We are starting to see the Cenaifcation of Roman. He looks beatable until the very end and then you are left crushed like Rusev on a tank but he still loses crushed. Will a long term feud help or hurt Eilas though? It may help if at some point he is put over but I say not just yet. Elias proved that he can hang with the top guys let’s not rush his ascension. As for Joe, I’m ok with him and Roman feuding. We all know this IC title thing is only temporary for Roman anyways and we all know he will drop the belt before Mania so he can take the title off of Brock. Why not make Joe the measuring stick for the IC title and then let Elias chase it?
Kent: I honestly want a Joe vs Braun feud at some point. Samoan on Samoan violence is cool with me. I want this feud, but I really want it to be good and have value. I fear that it may not have much value this time of year. On top of that, Elias just put on a match that proved me right in backing this guy. This was a proud Kent moment, no doubt. Elias looked like a star tonight. I have a gripe though. I’m like Bad News Barrett with my gripes. Roman needs to stop with his Dolph shit, meaning that he has to hit his finishers too many times to get the win I feel. Give Roman a finisher that he wins with. With his strength and size, I would be cool with a delayed standing brainbuster. Another idea would be some kind of brutal looking gutbuster that plays off of the set up that the spear provides. Maybe like pick your opponent up like you would for a fallaway slam, and then have Roman fall on his back lifting his knees up into the opponent’s midsection. Also, I am putting my reputation on the line right now. When they mix up the roster again, Samoa Joe is going to Smackdown.
- Is Broken Matt about to become a thing, or is this a bait and switch on WWE’s part? Also, are we all dead?
Russ: Compliment: Goes out to me for waiting to write this blog until the last minute. Why is that a compliment you ask? Well since I waited several stories have broke to the public. First, Matt is now allowed to use the Broken personality. So it seems we will definitely get some version of the Broken Matt. Complaint: It would be really asinine of WWE to use the Broken gimmick now. They missed their opportunity to work it to it’s full effect about 3 months ago. This may come off as stupid. Compliment: I do like how they are mixing Bray into this. They desperately need to get Bray back into a good story. I feel we missed a great story in Sister Abigail and that it is something we will never see materialize. So instead of rehashing the Broken gimmick completely maybe they will do some kind of hybrid with The Wyatt Family! That would be very enjoyable.
Keri: I don’t know about the whole are we dead thing. Perhaps, who knows really? It’s an interesting idea to ponder. As for Broken Matt, maybe they did finally get the rights to the gimmick so maybe it will become a thing. If that is the case then the real question is how will Creative screw this up?
Kent: I truly feel damned no matter which way I go here. Bait and switch seems likely with a similar gimmick, but not the Broken tag line. I am happy that Bray is on my TV again, but I fear that I may never get to see Sister Abigail. Are we all dead? Yes, we die a bit every week on the inside when our abusive lover, WWE, beats us. So Bray is right.
- The Hype Bros are no more. 1. Do you think Mojo was the right choice to be the heel in this breaking bromance? (I feel so dirty that I just used that word.) 2. Tag teams that have been called up from NXT have not fared well. Every team, aside from the Revival have split up since the call up to the main roster. Will The Revival buck the trend, or should be concerned?
Russ: Compliment: I think Mojo was the right choice here. He is decent in the ring and he is very charismatic. If he can work his mic skills a bit and turn his Hypeness into intensity then we might just have something here. Complaint: I don’t think The Revival is going to make it. Everything has gone against them since they were called up. The injuries are a bad sign. I don’t want to say that because honestly The Revival is one of the best tag teams to exist and they have done nothing on the main roster. I hope I’m wrong, but we will see when they come back. Compliment: The Revival are seriously a great tag team. So I hope when they return they go right back to being the big time players we all know they should be.
Keri: On Mojo’s heel turn, I can’t see a heel Zack Ryder to be honest. So, it kinda had to be Mojo, didn’t it? As for the fate of the Revival, who knows. If Creative wants to break them up, they will. Sorry, Kent.
Kent: 1. A lot of times, you look for 3 qualities for the heel when breaking up a tag team. Who is the bigger dude, who is better on the mic, and who can control a match better. Aside from the first part, I feel that Zack actually checks the last 2 boxes better, plus he has that beard and has a better body. I think Zack would have gotten better fan response as well/ Still, Mojo is the younger guy and this is a make or break time for him. If he is still struggling next year around this time, he will be future endeavored. Zack is a great company guy who could very well be a lifer. 2. If Dash were to get injured again, I could see Dawson break up and become the next AA (Arn ANderson) to somebody’s Flair. Still, I am guessing that they avoid this trend.
- The Riot Squad…..seriously RAW gets Absolution, and Smackdown gets the Riot Squad. Give me your thoughts on the women’s segment. Also, which group between Riot Squad and Absolution will have more long term stars (5 years or more career)?
Russ: Compliment: Ruby Riott (the extra t is for terrific!) and the Riott Squad did a great job of picking apart Charlotte, Natty, and The Glowing One. I mean any time I get to see Charlotte taken behind the woodshed is good with me. I just have one major… Complaint: The Riott Squad is like the B version of Absolution. They are almost an exact copy. Both teams had a 3 on 3 match for their respective nights. Both teams dismantled the other team before the match really got going. Both teams beat up the biggest star of the other team individually at the end. Both teams are led by relatively hot pasty white chicks. The only real difference is that Absolution has a bonafide star in Paige and that’s what makes them the “B” team. Which I guess is apropo because Smackdown is the “B” show. Compliment: I really like Ruby and Paige and I think they are both stars so both teams at least have one person coming out in the long run. As for the other four. I’ll be honest, I don’t know anything about them and none of them really impressed me. So I will wait and see.
Keri: Good overall match and Charlotte actually took the pin. Poor Naomi, she definitely got the worst out of everything that happened in that match. As for the name, it’s ok, I guess. Neither name is very creative if you ask me. As for future stars, you have to take Paige out of the equation. She’s already a star. I’m going to go with all three member of the Riot Squad. Each girl has her strong points so I think they could do very well. As for the other two, I haven’t seen enough of them to make an educated opinion.
Kent: I have so many things to say. First of all, both girl groups have the pasty white chick. Check. The athletic blonde chick. Check. The badass brunette. Check. Like, it’s like they didn’t even try. And Smackdown should be the true A show. I don’t think any of these girls are above an A Cup. Can we rename them the A Team? I’m gonna, just to let you know. It’s now PMS and the A Team moving forward. I also hate WWE for basically forcing me to watch a match with Charlotte. Fuck you WWE. I took a shower immediately after. As for which group has the better long term, I think I gotta go with the A Team for a multitude of reasons. 1. Paige is unstable, and could jeopardize her career at any point, so 5 years is risky, but she is the most talented, and best looking from my perspective. Fuck tans! 2. While I think Mandy is going to have a Bella like career, she needs to find a top star to start sleeping with to ensure she follows in their footsteps. 3. I don’t thinK Sonya is that good. 4. Ruby should have a job for 5-8 years, she strikes me as a good person to work with and is unique. 5. Sarah Logan smiles too much and that is a big no no. She needs to get serious about being a heel or become a face. I think she is the second best wrestler out of the 6. I believe in Liv, and I fear I am going to regret it. The girl should be able to become a star, but she need to talk to Carmella and Alexa.
- Give me your thoughts on the Randy vs KO match. Also, what are your thoughts on Randy growing his hair out?
Russ: Compliment: This was a very brutal and intense match. Both guys really took it to the other especially with the Kendo Sticks. Complaint: How can you have a No DQ match and have someone Banned from Ringside? That is just stupid. Seriously what are they going to do to KO DQ him…oh wait…See the logical fallacy there? My other problem with this match was the fact that after 5 minutes I completely forgot who won the match. That isn’t good. Compliment: I really liked Randy with his hair just grown out. He actually looked younger and more vibrant. He should keep it this length and style at all times!
Keri: First off, Randy doesn’t look right. He’s growing back his hair to look like 20 something Orton and it’s not working for him. As for the match, it was ok but nothing special really. Also why did this match also feel slow to me? All of the matches this week felt like everyone was going through the motions. Maybe it’s just me.
Kent: This match was a giant oxymoron. How do you have a ban somebody from ringside while making it a No DQ? They don’t go hand in hand. Still, I do believe in my True Men of Honor stable, and Daniel is playing this incredibly well. I think this is actually the storyline to watch in WWE. This has long burn potential.
- Are the Ascension dead…or at the very least poisoned? Are Breezedango and the Ascension still friends? Who is the person behind the mask?
Russ: Compliment: This was by far one of the best Fashion Files we have had in months. So many great lines. I also loved how Breezedango completely left the Ascension to die. The sight gag of Detective Dango coming back for something and leaving again was fantastic. Complaint: How are they going to resolve this… I mean you can’t kill the Ascension that wouldn’t be fun. I think they should just have them back the next week like nothing happened. That would just be fantastic. Compliment: This is how the Fashion Files should be done every time. I don’t mind missing a week or two if it means the quality is better.
Keri: I’ve never seen any of the Saw movies nor am I a big horror movie girl so I didn’t get what was happening. (Kent: Boooooo Keri BOOOOOOOOOOO) With that said, I really want Breezedango and the Ascension to be friends. So, I hope they are still friends and the Ascension is still alive. As for the person behind the mask, no clue.
Kent: To be upfront here, I have a Jigsaw tattoo, and I am bound by law to have loved this segment. Why it didn’t happen last month is truly beyond me. Yes, the Ascension are poisoned, yes they are dead, if we are to believe Bray Wyatt, and no it shouldn’t affect them as they live in the Wasteland. Of course they are still friends! I truly hope that it’s Arn Anderson behind the mask. I got to mention Arn twice in one blog, I feel good.
- Rate RAW – Feel free to talk about Kane’s “matches” with Jordan and Finn.
Russ: Compliment: The matches were great. Complaint: The stories are terrible. Also, another complaint: Kane is too old to be the monster anymore. However, he is still perfect for Corporate Kane. Bring that back. Compliment: I like where this Jason Jordan story is going I want to see where it’s going. Rating: 5.6
Keri: This week’s RAW was ok. It was kinda standard actually. As for Kane’s matches, I don’t care. Rating: 4
Kent: Really, the only thing I fast forwarded through was the cruiserweight match. They started some new feuds. I felt Titus and Elias elevated themselves a bit. I actually enjoyed this edition of RAW. Plus, as Twan pointed out to me, we got to see Fit Finlay. Rating is a 5.9.
- Rate Smackdown
Russ: Compliment: Fashion Files was fantastic. Complaint: This was a very forgettable show. I mean I forgot who won the Main Event 5 minutes after it occurred! That isn’t good. Compliment: …. ummm….It was watchable. That’s a compliment right? Rating: 4.2 (a lot of these points go to Fashion Files.)
Keri: For the first time ever, I did an eye roll when Shane’s music hit to kick off Smackdown. That reaction from me is usually reserved for his sister. Good job Shane you are not at the same level as Stephanie for me. With that said, Smackdown was ok, I guess. Rating: 3
Kent: They are moving forward with some decent stuff here. Baron vs Bobby, AJ vs Jinder, KO, Sami, and Daniel vs Shane and the blue boy, and the women. I don’t get why American Omega lost though. I am very confused because they were having good matches. I am curious who the next victims will be of the Bludgeon Bros. The show went by fast, so that is a plus. I am at a 5 on the rating.
Russ: Compliment: Ok, so I did a whole review with Compliment Sandwiches and I didn’t want to kill myself. Complaint: It took me way too long to come up with things and write them down. If I ever do this again I will definitely have to work on that. Compliment: It’s over for one more week! That’s a compliment right?
Keri: I’ve started to watch weekly ROH episodes and I find them fun. So I’m adding to my weekly countdown. Two weeks to Final Battle and 5 until WK12.
Kent: The Punisher is really fucking good on NetFlix. Go watch it. Here’s some pics of current stars back in NXT. Yeah, Roman was in shape at one point in his career.
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