The Wrestling 9 Deuce – January 15 & 16, 2018 A Glorious US Champion

Hi, Kent here.  We are ramping up for the Royal Rumble, but prior to that, we have RAW’s 25th anniversary.  This week, WWE crowned a new US Champion, with Bobby Roode winning it.  We talk about that plus much more.  Over on our podcast, Are You Not Kentertained we discussed the MMC and the other big topics of the week.   Please enjoy.


  1.  Over the weekend, there were two breaking news stories. One that Paige’s in ring career was more or less over and the other that said Mark Henry had officially retired from the WWE. Discuss one or both of these stories.

Anonyruss:  Well, that sucks for Paige and the WWE as a whole.  Paige was a great in-ring talent and she is still young.  Unfortunately, these things happen in professional wrestling.  I guess the worst thing about it is that she just came back from a long hiatus from injury and now she may never wrestle again, at least in a WWE ring.  It is also unfortunate that Paige, to me anyway, seems like a reckless person who is willing to throw away her well being just to get back in the ring.  It’s her life, but I think WWE is doing the right thing here.   As for Mark Henry retiring.  I think he is as retired a wrestler as Ric Flair was the first time he retired.  Mark is definitely on the last leg of his career, but I bet he still has a few matches in him.  I’ll believe he is retired when I see it.  

Harper Lee:  My heart breaks for Paige.  This talented young lady had worked so hard to get back on the right path from a professional and personal direction.  It’s an absolute shame, but is another caution sign on the road of professional wrestling.  This is why I appreciate that WWE has toned it’s product down.  I have seen some of the stuff on the WWE network and I see how and why so many great careers were cut short like Austin, Edge, and the many performers during the hardcore Attitude era.  Paige realistically had an opportunity to be one of the top 3 female performers in WWE history.  Now she is more of a what if, while acknowledging how much potential she had.  I also believe that this is why Paige’s picture for the Royal Rumble looked so bad.  Think about it!  In regards to Mark Henry, that man was really funny as Sexual Chocolate.  He seemed to really grow as a performer as I have watched all the Royal Rumbles.  He has had a lengthy career and I wish that he could have had a bigger curtain call.  He deserves it.  Maybe he makes one last appearance this year and if he does, me and my daddy will be cheering him on.  I love dark chocolate, like the Hershey miniatures.

Keri’s Verdict:  No! Not my girl Paige. This is so sad. She is so good and this is so unfortunate. Oh great! Now I’m sad. But wait, what is this I see? Why yes it is a comment about chocolate? Well that made me feel better about things. Harper gets a point for cheering me up.


  1.  Braun, you’re fired. No wait, Braun, you are rehired so please don’t destroy anything or anyone else for the rest of the night. Discuss this storyline.

Anonyruss:  Let’s start by stating that the whole premise behind firing Braun was very stupid.  Hey, last week you endangered the lives of people on live TV.  I’m going to wait an entire week until we are on live TV again and I’m going to fire you!  If WWE’s goal was to make Kurt look stupid… Mission accomplished.  With that said.  Can Braun get fired every week?  This was fantastic!  I don’t know how they keep coming up with ways for Braun to do awesome Braun things, but keep doing it!  He is consistently the best thing on RAW every week and I look forward to seeing him get his hands on anyone who gets in his way.  Give that man the belt!

Harper Lee:  Pardon my language, but what the heck was that all about?  I understand Kurt’s position on firing Braun, but Kurt handled it all wrong.  I think it was Corey that said that Kurt  should have told him outside of the arena or via phone.  You don’t do it in front of the crowd because of course Braun is going to be upset.  I have been fired from a few jobs, but I cannot imagine how embarrassing it would be to be fired in front of a crowd.  I admit, Braun knows how to entertain me and I would love to run my fingers through that beard of his.  So bushy!  I wonder if this is going to cause friction between Stephanie and Kurt, yet again.  I hope not.

Keri’s Verdict:  My initial reaction to Braun’s firing was are they seriously doing this now? What is the point of this? I still feel that way but the hilarity that ensued after Braun was fired was well hilarious as hell. As I said last week, I love when Braun does Braun things and he should always do Braun things. Anonyruss shares my thoughts on this and for that he gets a point.


  1.  So, it looks like Miz is probably getting the IC title back from Reigns at some point. Discuss this possibility.

Anonyruss:  I love The Miz, but I think it is high time he gets away from the IC title.  Honestly, he has held onto that title for well over the past year and the only time he wasn’t really holding the belt was when he went off to film his movies.  This is fine for the most part.  He is great and greatness deserves to be recognized, but with Mania coming up, which means Brocks title reign should be coming to an end,  I think it is time for The Miz to get into the mix for that title.  With that said it does seem inevitable that on RAW 25 he will regain the title.  That is fine, but can we have him in a good feud that won’t be wasted at Mania?  I mean there are a lot of talented young up and comers who could use The Miz rub, like my boy Jason Jordan!  

Harper Lee:  I saw that Roman was linked to a steroids ring, so that can’t be good, right?  Not only that, but Miz seems more important to the show than Roman.  I love Roman and I think he is a dream boat, but when The Miz was gone to make the Marine 237, I found myself missing him talking smack to others and getting his butt whooped.  I feel that there is more value in that from an entertainment standpoint than there is in being a gorgeous Samoan Bad A$$.  My brother Eric loves those Marine films.  I think he’s a bit of a simpleton.

Keri’s Verdict:  The Miz has done more for the IC title than anyone else that has held over the past year. That includes that Wet Haired Guy who thinks he is the best in ring performer in the world. Seriously, Roman, top 5, maybe, but AJ Styles is currently saying hi over on Smackdown from that number one spot. Anyways, Roman has a date with Brock and maybe Braun at Mania. Let’s have him drop that title to someone who can continue to elevate the title and use it to elevate others. Now for points. I’m giving one point to Anonyruss even though I don’t completely agree with his fantasy booking.


  1.  And your new US Champion is……. Bobby Roode. Discuss. Also, what does this mean for Jinder?

Anonyruss:  This was quite unexpected.  I wonder what made WWE decide to do a rush job on this tournament?  The fact that nobody seemed to care?  Were they scared that Bobby vs Jinder would go over like a lead balloon?  A little bit of both?  Listen, if I were WWE those are actually legitimate concerns.  Bobby is great in the ring, but can he carry the likes of Jinder?  Well after watching their match on Smackdown I have to say yes!  However, I’m going to have to give credit to Jinder here as well.  This was a good match! Both guys put a  lot of effort in and the story they told in the ring was interesting enough to hold my attention.  From the beginning I’ve been saying that Bobby was winning this because it just made sense and I was right.  Now I expect Dolph to reappear sometime in the near future to attack Bobby and give us a great feud over the belt!  As for Jinder, I think if he keep working on his in-ring ability I think we will see him in the title picture for awhile.  

Harper Lee:  Oh my my my, what a glorious victory it was.  I don’t normally say this, but I felt that both Bobby and Jinder had good showings.  This is where Jinder should have been all along.  I saw more out of Jinder tonight than I did during his whole world title reign, so maybe he can still prove the haters wrong, but then again, haters gonna hate.  I love that Taylor Swift!    Anyway, I think Bobby will be a great champion and it’s about time that he got featured.  He is really quite the wrestler.  He reminds me of younger HHH before he got all bulked up.  Like his movement in the ring.  I loved when HHH had that long hair.  So pretty.

Keri’s Verdict:  A couple of things before I award points. First, predictable booking is predictable. Who didn’t see Roode winning this thing? Second, Jinder proved one thing to me this week and that is he can have a good match provided he doesn’t have the pressure of championship gold weighing on him. Good for him. Now for points, Anonyruss gets the point again because as I said before predictable booking is predictable. I said a while ago this was setting up a future Dolph-Roode feud over the title and I will be shocked if WWE proves me wrong.


  1.  There were a few WWE signings announced this week and a few TNA departures that could possibly show up in the WWE in the very near future. Pick one of these signings (or departures) and discuss.

Anonyruss:  I am most looking forward to having Bobby Lashley back in the WWE again.  He was a great in-ring talent when he was first in the WWE and seemed very charismatic.  For some reason WWE couldn’t make him the star he should have been.  Then he went to TNA and really worked on the rest of his skills.  Now the WWE is getting him back and I can’t be more excited.  There are so many potential great matches that he can be in that we could be seeing 2018 shape up to be a great year for WWE wrestling.  Bobby vs Brock / Bobby vs Roman /  Bobby vs Braun /  Hell Bobby vs AJ if he goes the Smackdown way.  I can’t wait.  

Harper Lee:  I reached out to my blogging mentor, Kent, to ask about the TNA departures.  I know that he is familiar with them.  I know that EC3, James Storm, and Bobby Lashley have all been released, along with some others, like Chris Masters.  All 3 guys of the main guys could be amazing under the right circumstance.  Apparently EC3 used to work for WWE so I looked him up and he was  not very good.  Very silly.  Him and Fandango had a feud and it wasn’t that good.  Kent has assured me that he totally changed his gimmick and became a stellar in ring guy with great charisma and mic skills.  I expect to see him in NXT.  Bobby Roode will eventually need a big time opponent, or maybe need back up and Beer Money was one of the most successful tag teams in TNA’s history, and I guess that James left NXT under good terms, so that would  be nice.  Still, Bobby Lashley is the answer.  He has an MMA background, still relatively decent age, in amazing shape, and apparently is a very complete wrestler and good on the mic.  This is a dream match up for Brock in my opinion.  I could see that at Wrestlemania or Summerslam and I would be excited. Plus Bobby fought for our president and shaved Mr. Macmahon’s hair that one year at Wrestlemania.  My daddy sat there laughing and laughing and rewinding the VCR to see Vince get shaved and he made us all watch.  It was so funny.

Keri’s Verdict:  So, let me quickly talk about this week’s signings. Ricochet, or Prince Puma to those of you who watch Lucha Underground, is a terrific performer and a great add for the WWE. War Machine are former ROH and IWGP (NJPW) Tag Team Champs. These guys are awesome and quite agile in the ring despite their size. Now for Candice LeRae. I think you are all going to be impressed with her. She’s fantastic in the ring and was really impressive in the Mae Young Classic.  Now for my comments on the TNA departures. I agree that both have significantly improved and deserve their shot at redemption. And now time for points. I’m awarding a point to Harper on this question. She really gave a thorough answer to this question and mentioned people I forgot about until she mentioned them. Good job Harper.


Bonus Time: Each week Anonyruss and Harper Lee will choose a topic that hasn’t been discussed in this week’s blog.  In the event of a tie after 5 questions, Keri will use these extra thoughts to help her declare a winner. 

Anonyruss:  Finn vs Rollins was a great match.  Do you know who we can thank for this great match-up?  I know you are going to say well WWE creative and you would be wrong.  It is the man with a plan Jason Jordan!  If he didn’t go to his daddy and ask for the match we all would have missed it.  Jason thank you!  What was really unexpected was the use of The Curb Stomp or what I think they are now calling “Blackout”.  I like that name.  I don’t know what made WWE unban the stomp, but if they think they can pull it off safely enough then I’m all for it!  

Harper Lee:  I saw that Jey Uso was arrested for DWI.  That is so bad.  You are a representative for the company and are a role model for children, whether you want to be or not. I hope this wasn’t as serious as it sounds, but I would hope that wrestlers realize that there are plenty of children that look up to them.  Try to be responsible.  Oh, Daddy is hitting the shine again.  I better go check on him before he tries shooting our dog again thinking it’s a coon.

Keri’s Final Verdict:  Congrats to Anonyruss on this week’s win.


Final Thoughts:  

Anonyruss:  This years Rumble is shaping up to be one of the best Rumbles in years.  With so many departures from TNA and signings by the WWE we could get a lot of surprise entries that could be a lot of fun.  Not to mention we are getting a women’s Rumble as well.  I’m always up for the Rumble, but this year feels more exciting than ever.  

Harper Lee:  I am so excited for the RAW 25th anniversary show.  I was talking to my daddy, and he was telling me about the first RAW, and how it was such a difference compared to the previous show.  I think it was Prime Time Wrestling.  I don’t know.  He was telling me about The Undertaker fighting some guy named Damien Demento.  I wonder what he is doing right now.  I am looking for to seeing the Undertaker.  He has always been my favorite.  We’ll have our VCR set for Monday.

Keri: I have to admit WWE has me intrigued about both RAW 25 and the Rumble. I never thought I would say that. But with that said, still not excited for Mania. Why you ask? Predictable booking is predictable.


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The Wrestling 9 Deuce – January 8 & 9, 2018 Braun Has A Grappling Hook!

Hi, Kent here.  Things returned to normal a bit around here.  We did our normal blog and on the podcast, Are You Not Kentertained we did a best of 2017 year in review type thing, like the Slammys, only legit.    Please enjoy.


  1.  So, Jordan thinks he is an honorary member of the Shield and the Club beat 2/3rds of the Shield. Discuss the opening segment and main event from this week’s RAW.

Anonyruss:  I am really enjoying what WWE is doing with Jordan and The Shiel (No Dean, No D.)  They are interweaving storylines very efficiently and keep foreshadowing a deeper problem between how Jordan see’s things vs how everyone else sees it.  I don’t want to jinx it, but when did WWE creative become proficient in storytelling?  What I really like about the way this is going down is that they have several different directions they can go with this story.  They can have Jordan turn on Rollins.  They can have Jordan breaking up The Shield (highly unlikely, but you never know.)   They can have them finally become a cohesive unit.   The best part is that I can’t honestly tell you which way they are going to go, which is fantastic,  due to the fact that they are keeping Jordan in a gray area.  Instead of shoving the fact that he is a heel or a face down our throats they are letting things simmer for now.  That works!  Keep it up WWE Creative!  (I never thought I’d say that.)   

Harper Lee:  I don’t really like this Jason Jordan fella and now he is starting to get shoved down my throat and it’s making me like him less and less.  I feel bored and discouraged when he is on my screen because we all know that he’s only getting this opportunity because of who his daddy is.  Now granted, in Callhoun County, where I live, the mayor has been a member of the Windham family for 7 generations now, and it does okay by us, but it would be nice to change it up someday.  My daddy called me a foolish girl when I told him that I wanted to run for mayor.  Of course, he was right.  I can’t take down the Windham dynasty and I don’t know who is going to take down the Angle dynasty.  WIth that being said, I am all for that sexy Finn Balor and his good brothers.  I wish I had good brothers.  

Keri’s Verdict: I can’t believe I’m saying this but I actually like what they are doing with Jordan right now. It’s intriguing. As for the Balor Club, I’m just hoping for Balor Club vs the Shield once Dean returns and Jordan is a memory.  Now time for points and this was a tough one because I like both responses. But, Anonyruss is in agreement with me and therefore he gets the point.


  1.  In a backstage segment, Kurt Angle was on the phone with someone for the Women’s Royal Rumble. Who do you think he was on the phone with?

Anonyruss:  Well the hope and the dream is that he was on the phone with AJ Lee.  Of course that is sky high dreaming, because I highly doubt she will ever appear in the WWE again.  So my next vote goes to Trish Stratus.  You know the originator of the WWE Diva (I don’t really know if that is true, but fuck it, she was so damn good looking!)  

Harper Lee:  I really hope that it’s Trish Stratus.  When I was rewatching those old Royal Rumbles with my Daddy, I fell in love with this girl.  Heck, I kinda thought she was kinda cute.  Unfortunately, I said that out loud and my Daddy was not happy.  He told me not to go fantasizing about no woman.  He told me fantasize to fantasize about a man’s man, like William Regal, so that’s what I do at night, with my brass knucks.  As punishment, my Daddy told me to get on all fours and bark like a dog since I liked Trish so much.  Now I don’t know what that has to do with Trish, but I do like dogs, so I obliged.  It was fun!

Keri’s Verdict: I would love for this to be someone out of the box like Gail Kim or AJ Lee but I highly doubt that is going to happen. So, we are probably getting Lita or Trish. Ok, points time. I’m awarding a point to Harper because that punishment was just plain old mean and I feel bad for the girl.


  1.  Some of the Mixed Match Challenge teams have been announced. Discuss the pairings made so far and name your favorite.

Anonyruss:  WWE has done a great job putting these teams together.  Ok, so it was “voted” upon by fans, but we all know that can be completely rigged.  It is tough to say who I like the most.  You have The Miz and Asuka (my odds on favorite team to win the whole thing.)  Rusev and Lana, Sami and Becky, as well as Finn and Sasha.  The list goes on.  However, I was asked to give you my favorite team and I will deliver.  My favorite pairing has to be Little Miss Bliss and The Monster Among Men.  Those two together seem like an amazing pair.  I may just watch this stupid stunt just to see Braun easily lift Bliss up onto his shoulders as they win match after match.  

Harper Lee:  Give me a moment to look at the list.  Ohhh, The Miz and Asuka should be good, Finn and Sasha should be fun.  I love the pairing of Goldust and Alicia, she cracks me up.  Oh, well wait a minute.  Braun and Alexa are a pairing?  While nobody may be able to beat Asuka, there’s no way The Miz is beating Mr Strowman and his magnificent beard.  That’s my pick.  I think over on Smackdown, there teams just aren’t as good.  I’m pulling for Sami and Becky because of Becky, I think the match up that I would love to see in the finals against Braun and Alexa would be with Shinsuke and Natalya.  How fun would that be?  I can’t wait to watch this!

Keri’s Verdict:  Ok, here are my quick thoughts on the pairings and then I’ll award points. I love the pairing of Alexa and Braun. I’m upset that Bayley isn’t with Balor and Charlotte isn’t with AJ but oh well you can’t always get what you want. Now to award points. I love Harper’s enthusiasm about this whole thing so I award her a point.


  1.  The field for the US title semifinals is set with the addition of Mojo Rawley. Who do you have winning the tournament?

Anonyruss:  Time to put on my cape and do my best Mr. Clio impression (listen to the damn podcast people if you don’t know  who I’m talking about!)  I have a feeling that we will end up seeing Bobby and Jinder making it to the finals.  The end result will be Bobby winning the title.  He is the only person that truly makes sense in winning this.  He has already had a feud with Dolph, who should be returning around the rumble.  This will allow these two to continue their feud, but it will be over the title now.  End impression.  

Harper Lee:  Let’s be analytical with this.  I don’t think Xavier has a chance, so I am giving him 0% chance to win.  Looking at the brackets, I don’t think a Mojo vs Jinder match is what people want ever again, so I would put him out too with a 3% chance.  The question is how good is this self proclaimed “glorious one”, Mr. Roode?  Jinder is a former World champ while Bobby hasn’t done much in WWE.  I do think the belt will look better around Mr Roode’s waist.  On top of that, at least there’s such a thing as Canadian bacon.  Ain’t nobody ever heard of Indian bacon.  Bobby is my pick.  I am gonna fry up some bacon now.

Keri’s Verdict:  Ok, two things and then I will award points. First, Roode is winning. Second, I read Anonyruss’ post in Mr Clios’ voice and that scared me so Harper gets the point.


  1.  Give me your thoughts on the current state of the SamiKO, Shane, AJ, and Bryan storyline. How do you see this ending? Will we have the first co-WWE champions?

Anonyruss:  Well this week the wheels kept on spinning in the main story on Smackdown.  Unfortunately, the vehicle isn’t going anywhere.  Every week it seems like the same rinse and repeat.  One week Shane comes out does something questionable.  The next week Daniel comes out does something questionable.  I have a feeling this will continue until The Rumble.  So how will this end?  I’m going out on a limb because I doubt this will happen, but I’m dreaming here.  I think SamiKO wins the belt.  We will have Co-Champions and either one can defend the title.  At first this will seem like an unstoppable force.  As long as they don’t get pinned or submitted they keep the belt.  This will go on until March.  That’s when we start to see cracks in the armor.  SamiKO doesn’t want to share the belt anymore they want it for themselves.  So we start to see a little discord in the team.  Enter the Royal Rumble winner where they finally break SamiKO and we get a full-fledged Triple Threat match at Mania the winner gets the belt.  

Harper Lee:  Daniel Bryan has nice hair.  That is a man that I can trust.  I can’t trust a MacMahon.  Have you seen the stuff that this family has done in the past?  Why does Shane even get cheers?  I don’t get it.  I think Daniel is doing what is right and throwing in a dash of spite for some extra flavor.  I fear for my man AJ Styles.  As a southern gentleman, he is a guy that I always have to cheer on.  I fear that he is going to lose his belt though.  Doesn’t this feel like the KO and Jericho storyline last year?  I watched Wrestlemania last year and remember the video package for their feud and if KO and Sami win, won’t this just be the same?  I love WWE, but this seems a tad repetitive….I think.  I don’t know.  I just want to eat my bacon in peace.  All of this thinking is hurting my head.  

Keri’s Verdict:  The only way this story is not a complete waste of time is if KO and Sami win the belt. If they don’t, then my time was wasted. Oh who am I trying to kid I haven’t watch a full episode of Smackdown in months. With that said, it also ends my hope of AJ vs Nakamura at Mania so boo on everyone and everything. I do like Anonyruss’ fantasy booking so I will award him a point.


Bonus Time: Each week Anonyruss and Harper Lee will choose a topic that hasn’t been discussed in this week’s blog.  In the event of a tie after 5 questions, Keri will use these extra thoughts to help her declare a winner.:  

Anonyruss:  Anyone else see Braun completely miss the Scaffolding with the grappling hook?  No?  Well he did, which was hilarious, but that doesn’t matter because it was also AWESOME!  That is the kind of stuff Braun does that catapulted him to the top.  I love how everyone around him was screaming stop instead of, you know doing anything to try and stop him.  Don’t get me wrong if I saw Braun doing that I’d probably just walk the other direction, but come on people you are better than me.  That brawl in the back area was brutal looking.  All of those cases being thrown around and one landing right on top of Lesnar.  Sure the scaffolding completely missed both guys, but who cares!  It was AWESOME!  Oh, by the way I love how there was so much concern for Brock, but Kane had literally no one even check up on him as he limped to wherever the hell the Devil’s favorite demon goes to heal.  

Harper Lee:  Where is my favorite RAW tag team, the Revival?  My southern boys haven’t gone hard lately, and I love it when they go hard.  Oh boy, that sounded bad.  Fortunately Daddy don’t read this.  I think The Revival are going to help Brock Lesnar retain his belt at the Royal Rumble.  That’s my hope.  MMM, time to go hard on this bacon.  Yum!!!!!  I like to have bacon with sour cream and onion Pringles and Seriously Sharp Cabot cheese.  Soooo good.  I gotta hurry up and finish this.  Revival Rules, no matter what Keri thinks!

Keri’s Final Verdict:  Two things. First, FTR and second, I love when Braun does Braun things. Now for our winner……..Congrats Harper on this week’s win. (Kent: Did you want me to fix your typo?  She was trying to write FTE which stands for F*ck The Elite.  I eagerly await Keri yelling at me in the near future.  Seriously, I can picture her face right now.  It’s GLORIOUS!)


Final Thoughts:  

Anonyruss:  I remember when Jordan was first announced to be Angles illegitimate child.  I was horrified!  How could they give this less talented American Alpha the rub he doesn’t really deserve?  Since then he has consistently proven himself in the ring and is getting better on the mic all the time.  I have to say that I am a fan of his now and I can’t wait to see what 2018 has in store for him.  

Harper Lee:  I was feeling under the weather this week and I struggled to pay attention to Smackdown.  I gotta say haha to Enzo because he’s a jerk and he got his butt whipped.

Keri:  I think I have finally gotten back to a normal sleep patterns after getting up at 2 am to watch Wrestle Kingdom 12 last week. Looking back it was still totally worth it. Be sure to tune into Keri’s Korner on this week’s podcast to get my full Wrestle Kingdom 12 and New Year Dash review.

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Tomb of Annihilation (TFTPB) – Chapter Two

It’s me, it’s me, it’s that K E N T.  I gotta say, my favorite line of this week’s blog is: “Subsequently, Ilana and the others met up with Alexa, Dimebag, and a pile of dead elves.”  How does that not tantalize you?  Speaking of tantalizing, I was watching a model dance to this song earlier in the night and now the damn song is stuck in my head.  Skip to 2:28 to get to the actual song.  You’re welcome.  Send all hate mail to somebody who cares.


Tomb of Annihilation

Chapter 2 – Ziggurats and Zombies

As the party took their places on the winner’s podium, the national anthem of Chult was played (because nobody cared where the group was actually from), the medals were placed around their necks, and the losers were awarded their participation trophies.  Merchant Princess Aquenieffa, who it turned out sponsored this tournament, invited the group back to her place for refreshments and the awarding of the Oracle Eye.

Upon arriving at the swanky digs, they were immediately treated as barely tolerated guests and potential future customers.  Once the Eye was in hand, Compassion inquired as to where she had acquired the item and why she was giving it away as a reward.  Aquenieffa told the party that it was a gift from a suiter and had little sentimental value to her.  Seeing a dinosaur set on fire during the gladiator match was worth the price.  When pressed for the suiter’s name, she told them to mind their gods-damn business.

After failing to get any useful information on the suiter, Compassion immediately began negotiating a deal to get cheaper armor and weapon prices from the merchant princess.  A tough round of negotiating was conducted, with Compassion successfully earning a discount of prices from, “you won’t be able to afford a damn thing before the end of the campaign” to “by the time you can afford this, you will have found a more powerful version after fighting the boss of the last dungeon.”

With negotiations concluded, the adventurers began asking if she knew anything about the death curse or the soul monger.  She knew nothing, other than the fact it would be awesome if somebody were to break the death curse.  When pressed, she told the group about Wukanga O-tamu, the merchant prince of magical artifacts.

Impatient, and having struck the last blow on Bro Dudehammer, Tempest insisted that they head back to the inn so that he could talk with Drunken Master Sagi about getting the Eye to the Harpers.  As they walked to the inn, Xilix informed the party that he had to go collect some “medicinal spell components” and that he would meet up with the group later.  When asked how he would be able to find the group, Xilix said he would simply appear when it was “narratively appropriate.”  Hertz translated this to the party as, “more addict wizard gibberish!”

Upon arriving at the inn, the party found that Sagi was as drunk as ever.  When Tempest approached with the Oracle Eye, Sagi seemed to kind of, somewhat, maybe recognize it.  Rather than simply had the Eye over, Tempest began to ask Sagi about what he said earlier, that the Eye was merely a part of the larger whole.  If that were indeed the case, Tempest wished to know where the other pieces could be located.  After a long, drunken tangent about “kids these days” and how he once taught a dragon to love, the group was eventually able to piece together that each of the major factions either had, or was looking for, a piece of the amulet.  

Sagi specifically noted that the Emerald Enclave was actively searching for a piece of the amulet.  Upon learning this, the party immediately looked at the door as it would have been the narratively appropriate time for Xilix, a member of the Emerald Enclave, to show up.  After staring at the door for a sold ten minutes, the group gave up, and decided to meet with Compassion’s contact in the Order of the Gauntlet.

Compassion brought Hertz, Ethyl and Tempest to see his OG contact, Alister Bole.  Traveling to the nice part of town, the party soon realized that Bole lived in a McMansion in a gated community meant to keep out demihumans, poor people, and other undesirables; prostitutes were good though.  Within minutes of meeting Bole, everyone, with the possible exception of Ethyl, was ready to punch him in the face repeatedly as he continually said things that made him sound like a d-bag.

Preferring receiving money to not receiving money, the party resisted the urge to get punchy and listened to what Bole had to say.  Unfortunately, Bole didn’t seem to have any info on the pieces of the amulet or how to stop the death curse.  What he did know was the fact that poor people were going missing in the poor district, aka Old Town.  One such poor person was his servant Daro.  As a healthy number of poor citizens are necessary to make the nobility look even nobler, Bole hired the group to find out what was happing to the missing lower-class peasants.  

As the poor people regularly went missing at midnight, the party waited until the sun was setting to head into Old Town.  Due to the danger that Old Town presents at night, the streets were nearly deserted, however, the group came across a young lady who was “totally not” a prostitute.  She made sure to let the party know that she was an intern with the Port Ninzaro Department of Social Services, and that she was currently earning money to finish her graduate degree in social work.  

When asked about the missing peasants, she told the group that the brother of one of her “clients” (social work client, totally nothing to do with prostitution, honest) had gone missing.  Supposedly, just before going missing, the victims would yell and scream that they could hear, “THE CALL OF THE DEAD!!!1!!11!”.  She advised the adventurers to head to the nearby tavern, The Shiv, if they wanted to know more.

Upon finding and entering The Shiv, the group’s suspension of disbelief was shattered as who should be sitting at a nearby table, but famous Forgotten Realms Dude Volo, who “in-game” recently published his guide to monsters which the party could buy for 50 gold.  By some stroke of coincidence, in the real-world Wizards of the Coast (a subsidiary of Hasbro) recently published its second monsters manual entitled “Volo’s Guide to Monsters.”  It the group was willing to pay 50 gold in game to buy the book, and then was also willing to pay $50 to buy the real world book, they would be allowed to use the information in the real book to get information on their future monster battles!  Despite the obvious, if not insulting, market ploy by Wizards/Hasbro, as the DM and the person playing Hertz already had copies of Volo’s Guide, Tempest immediately ponied up the cash to buy the in-game copy.  YOU WIN THIS TIME CAPITALISM!

After purchasing the in-game downloadable content (DLC), Compassion went over and chatted up the bartender.  Luckily for Compassion, the bartender liked his “I’m a half-demon, my heart is all dark and sad” look.  Upon Compassion purchasing a tankard of honey ale, the bartender was more than happy to share some actual useful information without putting the characters through a bunch of extraneous bullshit, which instantly made “Bartender #1” the group’s favorite NPC to date.  

As to the call of the dead, Bartender #1 informed the group that the previous night Daro, after having his death call fit, ran off in the direction of the area affectionally known as the “executioner’s run.”  The run was so named because criminals would be put in the dug-up channel and forced to run to the end while being pursed by hungry animals.  If the criminal could reach the end before being eaten, he would earn the right to be exiled to the jungle (where he would eventually be eaten by different animals).

Further, Bartender #1 told the story of Queen Zalquore, the most beautiful woman in Chult.  Stories tell of how hundreds of men would kill for her and would bring her all manner of shinny treasurers.  Rumer has it that many of these treasures remain in a vault in her abandoned castle deep within the jungles of Chult.  With no reason to believe otherwise, the party instantly assumed that another piece of the amulet must be contained within the vault!

With Bartender #1 dry of any additional information to share with the group, a loud crash sudden rang out from the back of the bar.  Xilix, obviously in a medicinal herb-induced fog, came rushing from the back yelling, “Narratively Appropriate Time Bitches!!!”

After Xilix’s triumphant return, the group headed out to continue its investigation, putting the jungle castle on their to-do list for another day.  Upon arriving at the executioner’s run, they saw that on the other side of the trench were two rundown and completely creepy huts, a small one and a big one.  Using “monk sense,” Tempest was able to discern that there were approximately four individuals in the small hut.  The group assumed formation, with heavily armored Compassion and Hertz in the front, Tempest immediately behind them, and the arcane magic users in the back.  Before Compassion could even knock on the door, four incredibly fast and tough zombies came rushing out at the party.

Prior to attacking the group, the zombies sized up their meal.  Realizing they could either try to rip into the walking tin cans (Hertz and Compassion) or immediately start chowing down on a half-naked chick (Tempest), all four immediately charged for the easily accessible morsel.

Unfortunately for the zombies, Tempest didn’t wear armor because she didn’t need it.  As the zombies jumped in and tried to bite her, Tempest was quick to dodge their pitiful attacks.  In very little time Tempest used her spear to stab the first zombie in the head while Compassion began chopping a second zombie up with his sword.  Hertz then used his holy light to burn those weakened zombies into cinders.

Realizing that Compassion, Tempest and Hertz were not going to provide them with an easy meal, the zombies turned their attention to the other two fleshies in the back after one of them was struck by Ethyl’s firebolt.  The two remaining zombies charged Ethyl and began chowing down on her delicious fatness.  

With Ethyl bleeding out on the ground, the zombies and Hertz began playing their own mini-game of “resurrection pinball.”  In round one, Hertz would use clerical magic to stop Ethyl from dying.  In round two, the zombies would continue to eat Ethyl.  This went on for several minutes as Compassion, Tempest, and Xilix huddled up to devise the most stylish way to end this farce of a battle.  Calling upon the power of the elements, Tempest summoned the winds to carry Xilix high into the air.  Upon Xilix reaching maximum height, Compassion ran in and clotheslined the two zombies off of their feet and onto the ground, while at the same time shouting at Hertz to grab Ethyl’s body and run.  Hertz grabbed Ethyl’s unconscious body while he and Compassion ran for their lives.  With his comrades out of range and the two zombies laid out on the ground, Xilix used his drug-induced power to call down a napalm death fire strike upon the two remaining zombies.  By the time Xilix was done, nothing was left where the zombies had laid other than a smoldering crater.  

The danger seemingly over, the group searched the zombie bodies and the small hut.  While nothing of particular note was found, it quickly became obvious that they were the bodies of the missing poor folk.  Despite Ethyl having taken a few licks (and bites), the group was still in pretty good condition and thought it was worth the risk to check out the nearby large hut.  Ethyl and Xilix stayed far behind, while Compassion, Hertz, and Tempest assumed their usual formation.  While battle ready, they unfortunately were not trap ready.  As Compassion turned the door knob, a poison needle jutted out and poked his finger.  The paralytic poison coursed through the tiefling, leaving him disabled on the ground.

Despite losing their tank, Hertz and Tempest pressed forward into the house.  Luckily, the house was deserted and had no other armed traps.  As such, the remaining conscious members of the group began searching for clues.  Soon into the search Xilix found a hidden compartment in a desk containing a leather-bound journal entitled “Viplo’s Evil Journal of Evil Machinations.”  Reading the journal, Xilix learned that a necromancer by the name of Viplo was using a hidden area underneath the nearby Ziggurat to create zombies.  Too beat up to confront Viplo at this time, the group headed back to the inn to rest and recover.

Early the next morning the party geared up and headed out.  Thanks to Viplo’s journal, the group was easily able to find the entrance to the secret underbelly of the Ziggurat.  Unfortunately, the journal did not warn them of the traps or inform how to open the secret doors to the rooms beyond.  Luckily, despite his amnesia and horrible, horrible drug addiction, Xilix is incredibly smart, and was easily able to solve the puzzles . . . until the last room.  Overconfident, and possibly suffering from withdrawal symptoms, Xilix completely botched the last puzzle, causing everyone but Ethyl, who was still three rooms behind due to her fat out-of-shape-ness, to get chopped to hell by whirling saw blades.

As the trap didn’t kill any of them, the party members bandaged themselves and walked into the next room, which turned out to be a giant alter/worship room.  Before they could take stock of their surroundings, a shout of “interlopers” rang out, and Tempest was immediately hit in the face with a firebolt spell (presumably cast by Viplo).  In response, Ethyl cast a spell causing a giant fog cloud to engulf the room, blocking line of sight, and allowing the group to retreat to the previous room.

Using “monk vision”, Tempest was able to determine that through the fog there were four zombies, Viplo, and three prisoners chained to the wall.  After forming a strategy, the group executed plan “take pot shots from the alcove until everything dies.”

After a few rounds of his zombies getting beating up by hard to see intruders, Viplo yelled, “my zombie minions, feel free to eat the prisoners as I’m sure you are hungry, if any of them are heroic enough to try and stop you, KILL THEM!”  Compassion then barked, “you heard them men, lets save those innocents,” and charged head-first into the fog.  Hertz then yelled, “uh yea, um Talos, please watch over those chained up innocents while I continue to say behind and just cast support spells,” while Xilix and Ethyl just continued to take potshots from the alcove.  It didn’t take long for Compassion to realize that not only was he alone in the zombie-fog pit, but he was also in danger of friendly fire from his teammates’ spells.  Compassion began to question his choice of teammates.

Compassion fought valiantly, but was unable to stop the zombies from devouring all three innocents, including Daro, ruining any chance of a performance bonus from their employer.  Mocking their failure, Viplo began laughing at the group’s pitiful performance, and how it would take more than some silly cloud of fog to stop him and his zombies.  Viplo, however, did not realize that Tempest had enacted plan “walk through the fog and kick the distracted necromancer in the head until it explodes.”  By the 5th kick, Compassion had about 30% of Viplo’s brain and skull pieces on him.  With the master dead, the group easily dispatched of the remaining zombies.  

Celebrating a job adequately done, the group began searching the room for anything useful.  As Ethyl approached the alter an uneasy feeling came over her.  She touched the alter and a vision appeared . . .

What will the vision show, will the group ever learn if the amulet has anything to do with stopping the death curse, and will the party ever again meet an NPC as helpful and straightforward as Bartender #1?  Find out these answers and more on the next exciting episode of Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium: Tomb of Annihilation!

You can find us at the actual 9 Deuce website where we have the archives as well as other content such as horror movie reviews, wrestling blogs, podcasts, and some other material.  We’re on Facebook, on Twitter @official9deuce, or Tumblr @ superkent92 or Instagram at Official9Deuce .  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question or a comment at  Hell, you can subscribe via RSS.  Facebook and the website are probably the best bets.  Thank you.

The Wrestling 9 Deuce – January 1 & 2, 2018 New Year; Same Old Same Old

Hi, Kent here.  Things returned to normal a bit around here.  We did our normal blog and on the podcast, Are You Not Kentertained we did a best of 2017 year in review type thing, like the Slammys, only legit.    Please enjoy.


  1.  This Samoa Joe and Roman Reigns feud is becoming a lot of fun. Discuss this week’s promos and the match.

Anonyruss:  Samoa Joe is probably one of the best all around wrestlers you are going to find in the WWE.  He is amazing in the ring and his promo’s are fantastic.  The digs he took at Dean and Renee are the stuff you start feuds with.  I can’t be the only person who wouldn’t be interested in a Dean Vs Joe feud when Dean finally comes back.  Roman is well Roman.  He is consistent with his wet hair and his matches.  This weeks match was fantastic!  Joe really knows how to tell a story in the ring.  He kept on attacking Roman’s arm because that was the one he attacked last week.  Roman also did a great job of storytelling.  Not falling for the same tricks that Joe tried to pull last week and also having to keep himself in check several times.  Ring psychology is becoming a lost art, but these two showed us that it isn’t dead yet. Great match to start 2018 with.  

Harper Lee:  I was so scared that Roman was going to lose his belt this week.  That Samoa Joe is really tough.  I thought that DQ stipulation was going to come in play, but that Samoan bad ass beat the other Samoan.  Where is Samoa?  I want to go there.  I bet they have really good food.  I have noticed that most of the Samoan wrestlers tend to be on the bigger side.  I wonder if they have grits there.  I want some grits right now.  Yeah, this was by far the best match of 2018.  Good for these 2.  I want more…..and some grits.

Keri’s Verdict:  It’s nice that Joe is finally getting a push and its nice that they are giving him the opportunity against Roman. Joe is the logical choice to take the IC title off of Roman. I predict it happens at some point before Mania given Romans inevitable showdown with Lesnar. Ok, now for the points. Anonyruss starts out the new year reading my mind yet again and now I’m just scared by that. But with that said, he does get the point because honestly this is how I would answer the question if it was up to me to answer it.


  1.  Finn finally reunited with Gallows and Anderson this week on RAW. Was this a smart move? Discuss.

Anonyruss:  Hey it only took about a year and a half, but WWE finally put The Good Bros. together with The Balor Club leader himself.  I’d say that this is 18 months too late, but let’s face it, WWE has completely wasted Gallows and Anderson for the past 12 months.  The talented Good Bros. have done nothing of note for the past year and have been relegated to goofy segments for so long that I just thought WWE was going to waste them.   Let’s not forget poor  Finn.  While not as egregious as what WWE did to G & A, WWE has dropped the ball with the First Universal Champion.  He has been wrestling consistently, but as far as stories and progression of his character he has been spinning his wheels for months now.  So is this a smart move?  YES! YES! YES!  Get these guys in the ring and show us what they can do!  

Harper Lee:  I didn’t even know that these guys had much of a past.  Come to find out, in Japan they were known as the Bullet Club.  Also, while doing this research, apparently they are still doing this Bullet Club.  Some doofy looking idiot named Kenny Omega is now involved with these 2 skinny nerds called the Young Bucks.  Wow, this group has truly gone downhill from it’’s glory days with the Good Brothers and FInn.  I am happy for these guys.  They all seem very happy and I do laugh when Gallows says Nerds.  I am entertained, so yes, it’s a smart move.

Keri’s Verdict:  What is that saying? Better late than never. Yeah, that’s the one I’m looking for when I sum up by opinion of this reunion. I’m a big fan of all things Bullet Club so this was very exciting for me to see happen. Now, if they could just get AJ involved somehow that would be even better. But with that said, it is time for me to award points. But before I do that I must give a “stern” warning to one of the individuals on this blog. Harper, I realize you are new to this wrestling game and you are entitled your own opinion. However,  insulting my favorite wrestler (or my favorite tag team) isn’t going to get you any points from me on this blog. Therefore, one point Anonyruss.  (Kent: In all fairness, how was she supposed to know that they were your favorite idiots…..I mean wrestlers?)


  1.  So, Alexa lost to Asuka on RAW and Becky is back on Smackdown. Discuss both developments and whether or not this changes anything for the Women’s Royal Rumble.

Anonyruss:  First, I just want to say that I hate Miami!  Yea, that’s right I hate a city!  Why you ask?  Well they are a terrible wrestling town.  They do not know how to support the wrestlers or when to cheer or chant!  If a town chants boring during a Cesaro match, I don’t trust anything that comes from that town.  Also, more to my point.  Asika and Alexa had a decent match on RAW.  A good story was told in the ring.  It wasn’t a classic by any means, but when your dumb town can’t even be bothered to cheer during what is clearly a fun match you can go to hell.  Seriously it was like crickets when the two fought.  Becky is back!  I’ve said it before I have a feeling this will be Becky’s year.  She is way too talented to go another year and nothing to show for it.  When someone like Charlotte keeps getting belts because of daddy.  Will this change anything for the Royal Rumble?  The only way this is changing anything for the Rumble is if Asuka somehow isn’t involved in it.  As long as Asuka is in the Rumble she is winning it.  

Harper Lee:   I saw the updated betting odds for this Women’s Royal Rumble.  Ronda Rousey is the #2 favored person behind Asuka.  Ronda Rousey is going to be on a different continent the day of the Rumble according to the internet.  Nothing changes, Asuka is winning this without a shadow of a doubt in my mind.  I’m really happy to see Becky come back, but she looks like she has lost a lot of weight.  I thought she looked great as she was prior to leaving. Straight Fire!!!  I feel bad for Alexa because her BFF was more concerned about Enzo than her friend’s well being.  Not cool Nia!!!

Keri’s Verdict:  Let me start off by saying I love Miami. It’s a beautiful city and one of my favorite vacation spots. Does it have the best wrestling fans? No, but that is not a reason to bash the city as a whole. Well, at least in my opinion it isn’t but that is neither here nor there. And as I said before, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But since I’m the one who awards the points that does factor into my decision. So, with that said, one point for Harper.


  1.  We have new Smackdown Tag Team champions. Oh, wait, nevermind, we don’t. Give me your thoughts on this match and its outcome.

Anonyruss:  I really liked how this played out.  It was different.  Sure, it made the ref look like a damned idiot, but at least it wasn’t one of the wrestlers in that position.  American Omega now has a legitimate reason to get another shot at the titles.  I’m not as concerned about the wild inconsistencies that this little snafu has brought to light (ref’s decision is final) because WWE has shat all over consistency for years now.  Give me more AO and Uso!  

Harper Lee:  I was very excited when American Beta won the belts.  I thought that the ref’s decision was final.  That didn’t feel very final to me.  I think that this was garbage and I am very unsatisfied with the refereeing this week.  Also, the finish of the match made no sense.  Why did Chad get on the top rope to attempt to hit that finishing move if he was never tagged in?  Why didn’t the ref stop it?  This all seemed like a waste of time between 2 great teams.  To use the words of my mentor, I was not Kentertained!

Keri’s Verdict:  When the initial ending happened, I thought awesome, they are starting the year off on a high note. And then the ref confusion happened and in the end the Usos retained. Then I thought well that was nice for 5 seconds and now we are back to the same old crap. Oh well. Points time! Harper, you are growing in knowledge, padawan and therefore I give you one point.


  1.  AJ Styles is scheduled to face Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens at the Royal Rumble for the WWE Title. Was this a smart move? Discuss.

Anonyruss:  Uhh, smart move?  I don’t know?  Do I like watching potentially show stealing matches?  Yes!   AJ facing both Sami and Kevin should prove to be one of the best matches we will see before Mania possibly the entire year!  Granted, AJ vs KO was never really above average, but I think with the addition of Sami we can finally see AJ and KO deliver.  I do have one concern.  How the hell is this going to work?  It is a handicap match for the title?  So who gets the belt if KO and Sami win?  Is it the person who pins AJ?  Do we get co-champions?  I hope they tell us this stuff before The Rumble, because enquiring minds want to know!  

Harper Lee:  NOOOOOOO!  There goes my pick of having Sami Zayn win the Royal Rumble.  I don’t like this one bit!  So if Sami wins, are him and Kevin the champs?  This is a logical fallacy.  My Pappy was hootin and a hollerin at the TV.  He was saying that you can’t have 2 World Champs, and I happen to agree.  Technically, if Sami or Kevin win, they are a part of a team.  This seems incredibly convoluted.  I hope that Sami wins, but they need to do a better job explaining this until I stop pouting.  

Keri’s Verdict:  Yes, AJ vs. Sami and KO has the potential to be the match of the year…for the WWE.  With that said, I too am confused on how things would work if KO and Sami win the belt off of AJ which is why it will probably not happen. With that said, points time. Both individuals basically said the same thing in their responses. So, one point to each person.


Bonus Time: Each week Anonyruss and Harper Lee will choose a topic that hasn’t been discussed in this week’s blog.  In the event of a tie after 5 questions, Keri will use these extra thoughts to help her declare a winner.:  

Anonyruss:  Not that I’m trying to garner Judge Keri’s favor, but I watched the Kenny Omega vs Chris Jericho match.  It was good. Really good!  I see why people like Kenny Omega.  I also like that Jericho at his age can still go.  The match was 45 minutes, but he kept up with Omega.  I do have a few concerns.  While the match was very good it was very spot filled and a lot of the 45 minutes was filled with laying around so that both guys could catch their breaths.  I guess one good thing was the fact that we didn’t have to see  jericho or Omega kick out of more than one finisher.  Still these are minor complaints to an overall fun match.  

Harper Lee:  Somebody done screwed up the image for the Women’s Royal Rumble.  As a woman, I am very saddened to see what they have done to poor Paige’s face.  They need to fix this injustice, no matter how mean Paige is.  That poor girl has been through enough.  She don’t need this nonsense as well.

Keri’s Final Verdict:  Final point for Anonyruss and Anonyruss wins the week.


Final Thoughts:  

Anonyruss:  RAW was good, Smackdown was alright, and Omega and Jericho delivered.  Good start to the new year of wrestling.  Let’s hope they continue this trend throughout the year!  

Harper Lee:  Good start to the year!  I can’t wait to hear this week’s 2017 year in review episode of Are You Not Kentertained.  I look forward to listening to it.  I just wish Russ wouldn’t interrupt people so much.

Keri:  Wrestle Kingdom 12 was awesome. It was a great show from top to bottom and will be the best wrestling show I’m probably going to see in 2018. I’m so glad I got up at 2 am to watch it live. I think I now have a new annual tradition. Tune into next week’s episode of Are You Not Kentertained and listen to Keri’s Korner to get my thoughts on everything that happened at Wrestle Kingdom 12.


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Tomb of Annihilation (TFTPB) – Chapter One

Welcome back friends, this is Kent.  What a big surprise last week, right?  That kinda came out of nowhere.  New beginnings are good and I’m very excited.  So far I have seen a Dudehammer and Poxmark Poe which makes me want to watch Con Air, so I think we are on the right track.  As I’m not involved, I am strictly an outside observer, I will say that I straight up don’t trust Xilix.  Never trust a name that has two non-consecutive X’s in it.  These are rules to live by.  In honor of Poe, I bring you one of my favorite under the radar songs of the 90’s….by Poe.


Tomb of Annihilation

Chapter 1 – Death Curses and Dinosaurs


As is tradition, four low level adventurers with no prior association, Hertz Cunningham, cleric of Talos, Young Tempest, pirate monk, Xilix Andethia, amnesiac wizard, and Ethelwynn Devir of Mantol-Derith, sorceress of pie, all arrived at the mansion’s gates at the exact same time.  The four had been directed by their various patrons to meet with former adventurer Syndra Sylvane at her palatial estate.  After engaging in forced and awkward pleasantries and introductions, the four entered the compound.

Knocking on the door to Syndra’s mansion, they noticed that the estate, while nice, was very quiet.  The door was soon opened by Syndra’s man-servant Claud, who ushered the group into the dinning room.  Sitting at the head of the table was someone who appeared to be dressed in Harry Potter Death Eater Cosplay, basically just a robe and metal mask.  It was most unnerving.

The creepy figure, who introduced herself (himself? itself?) as Syndra, invited the group to sit and eat lunch while they discussed business.  Claud was apparently a very good cook and the group happily ate their free meal, with Ethel eating triple portions of everything.

Syndra explained that she was dressed in such a creepy manner because she was recently afflicted with the “Death Curse,” a malady that appears to have been spreading across the globe.  In explaining how the curse worked, Syndra noted that during her days as an adventurer she had been slain and clerical magic was used to resurrect her good as new.  Unfortunately, the death curse, which appears to have first manifested within the past few weeks, specifically targets individuals who previously died and were resurrected through magical means.

The bodies of those who were previously revived through magical means, and were now subject to the death curse, were now beginning to necrotize and fall apart until the individual was no more.  Basically, Syndra had super‑leprosy.  Upon hearing this Hertz, Tempest, and Xilix lost their appetites, while Ethel cleaned their plates for them.

Syndra explained that she did not have much time left, and she gathered the adventurers together in the hopes that they could discover the source of, and destroy, the death curse.  Why she entrusted a group of low-level adventurers who had never worked together with this task was not explained.  She conveyed her belief that the cause of the curse was a magical artifact known as the “Soulmonger,” and that said artifact was likely hidden somewhere in the land of Chult.  Obviously hesitant to undertake such a dangerous mission, the group quickly changed their positions on the matter when Syndra offered them each a magical item from her vast treasure hoard should they succeed in breaking the curse and saving her life.

With the greedy adventurers prepared to risk their lives for profit, Syndra and Claud prepared a teleportation spell which sent the six of them to Port Ninzaro, one of the few bastions of civilization in Chult.  After the teleportation dizziness wore off, and Ethel finished puking up lunch, the group found themselves in a vibrant port city that was totally not just fantasy Brazil (spoiler: it’s totally just fantasy Brazil, please put that mental image in your head so I don’t need to spend time describing the the city’s details).

Before the group could even begin to consider how to proceed, Xilix saw some awesome flowers that he had not previously studied (or that were studied prior to his being an amnesiac).  As Syndra was explaining to the group that she would be staying at a nearby tavern and that she looked forward to receiving regular reports of their progress, Xilix paid her no mind and went over to the flower bush, cutting one off for study.  It was at this point that Xilix realized that there was an angry shopkeeper standing over him, holding the club he had named “Shoplifter’s Demise.”  Xilix quickly apologized and paid the shopkeeper 1 gold for the flower, about 10 times its actual value.

As the four conversed with the now much more affable shopkeeper, the camera panned over to a tiefling (basically half-human, half-demon) warrior who had been intently watching the motley crew ever since they teleported onto the docks.  The voiceover explained that this man’s identification code was “Compassion,” and that he was wandering knight in training.  A montage then played of Compassion’s previous training exploits, including saving puppies from being eaten by wolves, saving puppies from a burning building, saving puppies from an evil wizard, and killing puppies that had been possessed by a legion of demons intent on using demon dogs to assault the heavenly stronghold of the god of cats.  Basically, Compassion’s trainers had decided that his training had become a bit too puppy focused, and they decided to send him to Chult where it was exceptionally unlikely that his adventures would involve puppies, or even full‑grown dogs.

The voiceover also explained that Compassion was looking for the gold half-dragon quartermaster Zindar.  By some stroke of coincidence, both Hertz and Ethel had been told that if they ever found themselves in Port Ninzaro they too should look up Zindar.  As such, we he saw that the shopkeeper had directed the crew to Zindar’s location, Compassion shadowed their movements in the port.

Upon seeing the motley group approach Zindar, Compassion came out of the shadows to join their conversation.  The group did not find this strange at all and acted as if Compassion had been with them all along.  While not in anyway helpful in sharing information about the death curse, Zindar was able to inform the group about individuals looking to hire adventurers for work, specifically, Pockmark Poe and Alister Boll.  Zindar informed them that Poe was in a rundown hut in the “old city.”

While on their way to the old city Compassion, now a full-fledged and accredited member of the party, because reasons, asked if they could stop off at an armorer’s stand so he could purchase some splint mail.  Unfortunately, the party was quick to learn that all metal armor in Port Ninzaro had a 300 percent markup because GOD FORBID ANYONE NOT PLAY A DEX-BASED CHARACTER.  Instead, the only thing they got of use from the armorer was knowledge about the political structure of the city, namely, that Port Ninzaro is basically run by a handful powerful merchant princes (and princesses).  His merchant princess boss, Aquenieffa, might be able to offer the group a discount if they spoke with her.

Unable to purchase reasonably priced armor, the group continued to old town and easily found Poe’s hut.  Entering the run-down and rather creepy hut, they soon found that Pockmark Poe truly lived up to his name.  They also found that he must be rich, as he was attended by a number of scantily clad average to slightly above average looking women (and one man) fanning him and feeding him grapes.  The group explained that they were looking for work and Poe immediately sprung up.  He began to tell the group that he wanted them to enter a dinosaur racing competition . . . at which point everyone enthusiastically accepted.  When asked if they wanted to hear more or if they wanted to know what they would be paid, Hertz replied, “fine, whatever, just hurry up, we have dinosaurs to race.”  Poe explained that he had paid their entrance fees and gave them their competition tickets.  He then told them that the purse would be gold and a trinket known as the oracle eye.  The group was to win the race and bring him the eye, the winnings would be theirs to keep.

With a few hours prior to the race, the group decided to head to the House of Repose where Tempest had been directed by his faction, the Harpers, to meet with a contact.  Upon arriving at the tavern Hertz pulled out his lute, got on the empty stage without asking, and began to play his latest hymn to Talos, “The Storm in Our Hearts.”  Hertz was convinced he had at least 20 new converts by song’s end.

Meanwhile, Xilix, realizing he knew nothing about riding, much less racing, dinosaurs, decided to “make friends” with a group of patrons dressed in green who appeared that they might know a thing or two about dino-racing.  Unfortunately, Xilix lacks certain social traits such as “personality” and “not being an annoying elf,” and quickly put himself in a position where he was about to get his butt kicked.  Luckily, Compassion was nearby and quickly ushered Xilix the hell out of the tavern.

As Hertz was entertaining and Xilix was offending, Tempest was meeting with his contact, Sagi, master of the Body Beast Drinking Style of unarmed combat.  While Sagi was very entertaining, he was also very unintelligible.  By the end of the conversation, Tempest was pretty sure she learned that 1) the oracle eye was a smaller piece of the broken up Amulet of Dreamers; and 2) fellow Harper Urissa wants the eye.  For the time, Tempest decided to keep this info to herself considering they had already been hired to deliver the eye to Pockmark Poe, and only an idiot would betray an obviously rich and somewhat-powerful underworld boss.

Nearing race time, the inexperienced and completely unprepared dino-racers headed for check in.  Upon being assigned their individual racing velociraptors, the group headed to the starting line where, surprise, surprise, the green dressed men from the House of Repose where their competition.  Each racer was then provided with a staff that could be used to beat the other competitors.

As the starting bell was about to ring, Ethel turned to one of the opposing racers and said something so insulting and utterly emasculating that the opponent immediately withdrew from the race in shame (his body was found later that evening after hanging himself from the tree outside his children’s’ bedroom window).

Knowing himself to be an average rider at best, Hertz decided to play a support role.  He started his helping by using his quarterstaff to slap Tempest’s dino on the rear end in the hopes that it would go “super extra fast.”  To his surprise, it worked, and Tempest’s dino ran out far ahead of the competition.  Unfortunately, as Tempest was a former pirate with no real land-based mount riding skills, she was unable to control the beast, which decided to run off in the wrong direction, negating any benefit from the increase in speed.  Xilix tried to use his “medicinal herbs” to inspire his mount to go faster , however, the herbs only served to nauseate the beast and cause vertigo, resulting in the dinosaur running into the stands and injuring five bystanders.

After a good 30 seconds of trying to regain control of her mount, Tempest was ready to race for the finish line, that was, until, one of the opponents came flying by and knocked her off of the mount with his staff.  Upset that a man would dare lay his hand on a fellow female party member, Ethyl attempted to cast a spell to hinder the green rider’s dino.  Unfortunately, the spell backfired, resulting Ethyl being teleported off of her dino and onto the opponent’s dinosaur.  In the resulting confusion, a massive 5 dino-pileup occurred, taking out the majority of the competition.

It was at this time that Hertz noticed that Compassion had been ignoring any of the fun parts of the race and was instead racing straight for the finish line.  Never one to miss an opportunity to exalt in the glory of Talos, Hertz pulled out his lute and began singing about how Compassion was inspired by the divine righteousness of Talos to embrace the power of the storm and to gust through to the finish like the wind.  New converts by end of race – at least 16!

As Compassion crossed the finish line he dismounted and waived to the crowd.  He then walked forward, ready to except the prize money and the Oracle Eye.  Unfortunately, it was at this point that Compassion learned that he had only won round one.  In the next round, he, and any friends he so chose, would enter the gladiatorial area and face its champion, Bro Dudehammer, and his pet dinosaurs, Snuggles and Baron Von StudDino, in hand to claw to tooth competition.

Upon finding out that winning the Eye would take more than winning the dino race, Tempest came up with a plan.  It was then that he informed the group that he wanted the eye to give to his friend Urissa, who would pay them money for it.  Hertz was particularly against this as they already had a contract, and betraying a man named Poxmark Poe would likely result in future assassination attempts and not getting invited to all the best parties in Chult.  After five minutes of debate that went nowhere, the group agreed that whoever got the knockout blow on Dudehammer would get to decide what to do with the Oracle Eye.

As the group entered the area and set up a tight-knit formation, they were explicitly told not to kill Bro Dudehammer or his pets; nonlethal damage only please.  As the war horn sounded, Ethyl responded to this directive by casting a firebolt spell directly at Baron Von StudDino’s face.  The resulting explosion burned off at least half of the dinosaur’s face, with the good Baron falling to the ground, apparently dead.

Enraged at the harm done to his brother, Snuggles ran past the front line and bit deeply into Ethyl’s side, chomping off at least five years’ worth of fat accumulation in one bite.  Ethyl fell to the ground and it was obvious she was bleeding to death.  Seeing an ally in trouble, Hertz went over and prayed to Talos to stop Ethyl’s bleeding, stabilizing her condition.  Xilix, thinking he was next on Snuggles’ dinner place, also shot a firebolt off at the dino, resulting in yet another charred and possibly dying dinosaur.

Meanwhile, aggrieved at the possible loss of one of his best friends, Dudehammer knelt down next to Baron to see if he was alive.  By the grace of the gods he was!  Baron was going to be ok!  Seeing the joy in Dudehammer’s eyes, along with the fact he was distracted tending to his dino, Tempest also broke ranks, ran to Dudehammer, and began kicking him in the head repeatedly like Dudehammer owed Tempest money.  Soon after the referee had to call the match in favor of the adventurers.

Compassion simply stood in the middle of the ring shaking his head in disbelief at the group’s utter lack of strategy and cohesion.  Meanwhile, boos loud enough to be heard all throughout Chult rained down on the group, expressing their displeasure with the group’s lack of sportsmanship or adherence to the code of the gladiator.

The group strode out of the arena as the boos continued to ring in their ears.

Had they truly won the competition, would they finally get the Oracle Eye, and would Tempest really be fool enough to betray Poxmark Poe?  Find out in Chapter Two of the Plunderbund’s new campaign, Tomb of Annihilation!

You can find us at the actual 9 Deuce website where we have the archives as well as other content such as horror movie reviews, wrestling blogs, podcasts, and some other material.  We’re on Facebook, on Twitter @official9deuce, or Tumblr @ superkent92 or Instagram at Official9Deuce .  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question or a comment at  Hell, you can subscribe via RSS.  Facebook and the website are probably the best bets.  Thank you.

The Wrestling 9 Deuce – December 25 & 26, 2017 – It’s The End Of The Year As We Know It

Hi, this is Kent again.  Normally you would see this line at the end of this paragraph and listen to our podcast: ” We talked about this, plus much more on this week’s episode of Are You Not Kentertained which you can also subscribe to on iTunes.”  Unfortunately, I came down with bronchitis earlier in the week, so it got cancelled.  I apologize.  This coming  week, we will be doing a year in review podcast and possible blog as well.   Please enjoy.

  1.  RAW has new tag team champions. Pick a name for this new tag team then discuss. (This is a two point question)

Anonyruss:  Since it is the season to be jolly I am going to try and be as positive about things as possible.  With that said I just want to quickly say that I am a fan of the Jason Jordan heel turn that has been progressing.  So I’m very ticked off that they seemingly stopped that for now in favor of putting him in a tag team with Rollins.  Jesus WWE, Finn Balor is doing nothing!  Jordan had a classic heel turn going and they decided to derail it!  Ok, positive time!  I’m going to pick Cesaro out of those names.  Sure he lost, but I’m pretty sure this could be a big opportunity for him.  Sheamus is suffering some kind of injury that could be career threatening.  This is a good time to have him sit on the side while Cesaro moves his singles career forward.  They could put him in the mix to take Roman’s IC title.  WWE could even have him be a great opponent for Brock, doubt they will… I mean you never know… Tis the Season!  

Harper Lee:  What a question!  I sat here twirling my hair for….an embarrassingly long time thinking about this.  My Pappy has always told me that if you’re gon’ be the tag team champions, you need to have a team name, not just 2 single guys.  So rather than going with some hackneyed combination of their names, I wanted to be creative and really think about who these guys are.  HHH handpicked The Architect to be the representative for The Authority 2 years ago, thank you WWE Network for helping me catch up.  I know that Jason Jordan seems to get favorable treatment from his pappy.  So here it is: The Chosen.  They have both been chosen from higher powers.  I don’t like this pairing.  I see somebody like Finn Balor doing nothing while this whiny jerk Jordan gets all of these opportunities.  I don’t get it.  How are these guys going to get along?  Oh lordy, this gon’ end poorly I tell you.

Keri’s Verdict:  I didn’t understand this pairing or the resulting title change. Yet this strange turn of events intrigues me. With that said, it’s time to award points. Both Harper and Anonyruss pretty much summed up my opinion on this question. However, this was a two point question and one person missed that part of the question. Harper, however, did not and therefore gets the two points.


  1.  Asuka is now announced for the Women’s Royal Rumble. Do you think she’s winning? If so, do you see her winning the title at Wrestlemania?

Anonyruss:  AAAAAANND we now know who is going to win the Women’s Royal Rumble.  WWE made a stupid mistake here (damn, gotta stay positive.)  I mean,  WWE has given us a great opportunity to focus on the other stories going on during the Women’s Royal Rumble, because the ending is pretty much locked.  I don’t see James Ellsworth anywhere so I’m pretty sure a woman is winning this and why not Asuka.  If she doesn’t then we will have to put an asterisk next to her undefeated streak.  So then if she wins the Rumble will she win at Mania?  Yes!  Yes! Yes!   

Harper Lee:  So I think I mentioned this last week, but my Pappy has been sitting me down and showing me a bunch of the old Royal Rumbles, so I am getting a better understanding of what to expect.  It appears that WWE splits whether they want to go with the most obvious choice or somebody who could use the rub more.  My momma makes this delicious rub for her fried chicken.  It is so good.  We’re going to have some of that good chicken and cornbread on New Year’s Eve.  I can’t wait.  SInce it’s the first and this will be something that will be attached to this woman’s resume the rest of her career, they cannot mess this up.  If Charlotte and Alexa are out, how many other women do you think WWE feels comfortable giving this to?  It’s definitely the Empress of Tomorrow.  I also have now tried wearing my thong outside of my shorts.  Daddy was not happy, and then it just made it easier for my brother to give me a wedgie.  Not cool, Eric!

Keri’s Verdict:  Asuka is the best and only choice to win the first time ever historical Women’s Royal Rumble. There is no other woman out there who is more dominant on the women’s roster than her. It is the obvious choice but also the most logical choice. Now for points, both pretty much summed up my thoughts on the situation but Harper is really bring her creative A game this week and I have to award her a point here. If only so I can try the fried chicken she mentioned in her answer.


  1.  American Alpha 2.0 is number one contender but Rusev Day seems to be the most over team at the moment. Was this a mistake on the part of the Smackdown writers? Discuss

Anonyruss:  This is a tough one.  Both teams are fantastic in their own rights.  American Omega are proving to be one of the most fun to watch tag teams in the ring.  Rusev Day is just the best at everything.  I mean they have a day named after them!  Was this a mistake?  Absolutely not!  Team AO is probably the most deserving team, they have been putting on fantastic matches the past few months.  Pit them against The Uso’s and we could be seeing one of the best Tag Team Title matches of the year (I hope no one figures out that the year will have just started.)  

Harper Lee:  Well, I didn’t think this was a popularity contest.  Now, I can speak to this because I was a contestant for a few years in the Little Southern Belle beauty contest.  That most certainly is a popularity contest and nobody was wrestling, so I think that wrestling should be about talent.  That Chad Gable seems to be something special.  Not only that, Rusev has a day named after him, so why not give Chad something, even if it’s as insignificant as a belt?  By the way, the original winner of the Little Southern Belle was Debbie McKee.  You may know her for her delicious snack cakes under the name Little Debbie.

Keri’s Verdict: Both teams are very deserving and I will agree that American Omega or Alpha 2.0 has the momentum right now and deserves the #1 contendership. They also deserve a team name. With that said, I’ve never seen either Rusev or Aiden English more over with the fans than they are right now. This needs and should be capitalized on sooner rather than later. We all have to remember that WWE fans are a fickle bunch and what is popular today may not be two months from now. Maybe they should be the next ones in line for a title feud after American Omega is done with the Usos. Ok, now for to award points. Anonyruss resumed reading my mind this week and for that I must award a point.


  1.  A United States Title tournament was announced on Smackdown this week with Jinder Mahal and Bobby Roode advancing in the first round. What are your thoughts on all of this?

Anonyruss:  Well, I’m not sure if I agree with the decision to have Dolph vacate the belt, unless there is an endgame planned.  The only way this works is if Bobby ends up winning the tournament.  The way I see this going down is that they have Bobby win the belt through the tournament, and then have Dolph come out and attack Bobby.  Then Bobby and Dolph continue their feud, but now it will involve the US title.  I’m ok with this story as long as they bring Dolph back somehow.  If not, then this was all just stupid.  You know what really sucks about this?  Bobby needs a great match, which still has eluded him since his call up.  Well if this plays out the way I think this is going to it means that his opponent is going to be Jinder at the Rumble.  I guess we won’t be seeing that great match for awhile.  

Harper Lee:  I don’t get this.  One week Baron wrestles with his shirt off, now it’s back on.I don’t like the man, I think he is a mean, no good son of a…..well you know.  Still, shouldn’t he have been given a bye in the first round as the most recent champion?  Also, who is this Tye Dillinger guy and what has he done to earn a championship opportunity?  Is he any good?  Can he only count to ten?  Does he have a learning disability?  Does he know how bad his hair looks?  Also, I am just so sick of Jinder.  Go away.  We don’t take kindly to people like Jinder around here.  He’s soooo veiny, it’s disgusting.  We had a veiny man about 2 miles down the road and my brother and uncle and Pappy all got in their trucks and told that vascular gentleman that it was time to leave.  Who wants to see that anyway?  It’s gross.  I hope Bobby Roode wins it.  I sing along to his song when he comes out, or when I’m showering, or baking, or pretty much anything.  It’s Glorious!

Keri’s Verdict:  I still think this thing with Dolph is a work. I also think that Creative maybe recycling storylines again. Remember a few years back when CM Punk left with the WWE title after his MITB win and there was a tournament to crown a new WWE champ which just so happen to be Cena. Then after the new champ was crowned static and Cult of Personality played and out came Punk. Why do I think I’m going to see the same thing happen in this case? I think we are going to see a new champ crowned and Dolph coming out and saying he never actually relinquished the title. But, I digress, you are not here to read my opinion and you just want to see who I reward points to for this question. Well, it looks like both are on the same page as to who is winning this thing. However, I do enjoy Harper’s creative response here so one point for Harper.


  1.  With Shinsuke Nakamura announcing himself as a Royal Rumble entrant on this week’s Smackdown,we have the potential of getting a dream match at Wrestlemania. Do you think this is setting up Nakamura vs AJ Styles at Wrestlemania?

Anonyruss:  AAAAAANND we now know who is going to win the Men’s Royal Rumble.  God Damn it WWE can’t you leave us some surprises for this year!  Alright, this isn’t as forgone a conclusion as the women’s was, but with WWE being WWE I am pretty sure how this is going to go.  RAW doesn’t need the Rumble because they have been telegraphing Brock vs Roman since WrestleMania last year.  So that leaves Smackdown winning it.  WWE will probably want to have this dream match at WrestleMania to drum up excitement.  However, I can see KO or even Sami winning this year as well, which I believe Kent would back me up on that Sami prediction. All of those matches are fine with me, though I am not so sure about KO vs AJ.  We’ve already seen that and it was very underwhelming.   

Harper Lee:  Who’s dream is this?  I don’t understand why this is a dream match up.  I’m sorry, I don’t keep up on a lot of things online, so I am sure I am missing something.  My dream match up would be AJ Styles vs Luke Harper because of his name, and his beard kinda reminds me of my daddy’s.  Now that would be a great Wrestlemania main event.  I’d rather see Shinsuke vs Hideo Itami vs Finn Balor in a big time strikers match.

Keri’s Verdict:  Let’s look at the past 6 months of the WWE and look at the “dream” match ups that have already happened. We’ve already been given Roman vs Cena and Finn Balor vs AJ Styles. There is only one matchup that would give smark wrestling fans something they want to see at Wrestlemania and that match up is AJ Styles vs Nakamura. Lets face it the card at Mania as it potentially stands right now is pretty bland. We’ve seen Roman vs Brock and we all know how this match is going to turn out. AJ vs Nakamura would bring something potentially exciting and new to the card. With that said, time to award points. Anonyruss’ response was pretty much what I was looking for when this question was asked so one point for Anonyruss.

Bonus Time: Each week Anonyruss and Harper Lee will choose a topic that hasn’t been discussed in this week’s blog.  In the event of a tie after 5 questions, Keri will use these extra thoughts to help her declare a winner.:  

Anonyruss:  Probably won’t get any points for this, but it’s the holiday season and I’m going to reward myself!  Seth Rollins is once again a Champion!  Sure it is only the Tag Team Championship, but with that and the IC title the only ones really used on RAW it is a big deal!  Seth has won that championship belt with a lot of partners, so you know what that means?  He has to be the reason they keep winning! WOOOOOO SETH!   Can’t wait to see him and Jason this weekend when I go to see them Live!  

Harper Lee:  I really enjoyed how great of friends the Ascension are to Breezedango.  They came out and helped their buddies.  I think Konnor is hitting the gym.  He didn’t look so bulky this week.  Good for him.  I still want Luke to give them all a whuppin.

Keri’s Verdict:  I enjoyed both responses this week and since it is the holiday’s I’m in a very giving mood. I’m award both Anonyruss and Harper a point here.


Final Thoughts:  

Anonyruss:  I hope all the readers out their have had a great holiday season.  Keep with us here on the blog for the next year, because with Kent and Russ gone it is sure to be must read!  Enjoy!  

Harper Lee:  I don’t think that it’s fair that these performers and all of the backstage people had to work a live show on Christmas.  I feel that this is wrong and I hope that this never happens again.  The holidays are a time to celebrate with friends, family, and some moonshine.  This year, Pappy’s batch came out really good.  Tuesday was a rough day.

Keri:  For what is usually a throwaway week, the WWE did a really good job on both shows this year. Also, I have to congratulate Harper on her first blog win. Great job Harper!  Also, readers, Keri’s Korner returns next week on the Are You Not Kentertained podcast. In next week’s segment, I will preview and give my picks for this Thursday’s Wrestle Kingdom 12. Happy New Year Everyone!

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All pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are property of WWE and