Hi, Kent here. Keri and I had to preview this night of 2 matches and a bunch of nonsense. Yay!!! Over on our podcast, Are You Not Kentertained we discussed this and other topics that may or may not be relevant. Please enjoy.
- Kickoff Show – Gallows & Anderson vs Miztourage
Keri: This matchup is so random. But then again, if you have been paying attention it looks like Finn and the Miz have been getting into it on Twitter, so maybe it does make sense, you know since Finn is the leader of the Balor club and Miz is the leader of, well, the Miztourage. I don’t know maybe I’m just grasping at straws trying to rationalize this one.
Prediction: Gallows and Anderson win.
Kent: So the Miztourage get a match while The Revival has nothing. Explain to me how that makes a damn bit of sense. Considering how good G&A are against the Revival, it’s even more baffling. Is this even going to be taken seriously by anybody? Bo and Curtis are both so damn good too, but this is a squash.
Prediction: The Good Brothers – Gallows, stop encouraging the Young Bucks to come to WWE. We don’t want them. It’s going to be the Hardy Boy debacle all over again. We want broken universe. You got it, you hate it, suck it. Bang bang!
- WWE Tag Team Championship Match – Sheasaro vs Titus Worldwide
Keri: I could have sworn I just saw this match Monday night on RAW. Maybe I was wrong. Anyways…..
Prediction: Titus Worldwide wins and maybe brings new life to a stagnant division.
Kent: This is the right match, but they could have fucking announced it. Jesus tap-dancing Christ, do your fucking job people. The go home show should have the final card. I don’t even remember when this became commonplace, but fuck that noise. My issue here is timing. Are they going to have Titus Worldwide head into Mania as the champs? Will they win the belts at Mania? This is tough. I’m ready for the title change. It’s time to sink or swim. If they sink, The Revival is waiting to dominate.
Prediction – Apollo wins it for Titus Worldwide. I know that I am wrong, but I want this so I predict it. Much love to Sheasaro, the best tag team in the business.
- Asuka vs Nia Jax
Keri: This matchup was enjoyable when it was in NXT and Nia has improved significantly since the last time these two faced off so I expect a good match. With that said, they are not breaking Asuka’s streak.
Prediction: Asuka wins and finally declares that she will face Wooooo Jr for the Smackdown title.
Kent: Why? The best case scenario is that Alexa gives Nia a pep talk in the locker room and plant the seed. Then have Alexa interfere and cost Nia the match so we can get that match at Mania while protecting Asuka. Also, just know that this year’s Wrestlemania will feat at least 4 women’s matches. Fuck my life as a wrestling fan.
Prediction – I already told you. Asuka wins because streaks are one of the worse things that you can do in pro wrestling. That is a fucking fact. It stifles creativity and good finishes.
- Ronda Rousey’s contract signing
Keri: So this week on As the Bullet Club Turns. We had Cody declare himself leader of the Bullet Club, the Bucks joined the heavyweight division, Cody and Kenny brawled, Hangman Page is feeling unappreciated by everyone and wants to know where his moment is, and Marty Scrull (the Villian), due to all the stress of the situation, now has grey hair. Oh and Kenny called Cody a WWE reject. Can’t wait to see what happens on next week’s exciting episode of how As the Bullet Club Turns.
Prediction: I wonder how Tama, Fale, Tanga, Leo, and the rest of Bullet Club NJPW feel about their new leader. I bet that will be on next week’s episode. Stay tuned everyone. (Kent: slow clapping)
Kent: Hang on, hang on. Okay, I found the lube. Okay, now gently massaging my asshole. OKay, gritting my teeth because WWE is about to fuck me and the rest of us right in the asshole. I can’t vouch for Keri, but I don’t like being on the receiving end of anal. I expect some bullhshit with Stephanie. Yay.
Prediction – I hope to pass my kidney stone during this segment so I can say that was less painful than seeing this segment. Top that Keri!!! (Keri: Challenge Accepted).
- Bray Wyatt vs Fatt Hardy
Keri: Why is this still a thing?
Prediction: I don’t care. This has run its course.
Kent: It’s a good thing I didn’t put that lube away yet. Good lord. Can we give Bray someone and something to work with? Please put him back on Smackdown to feud with…..Shinsuke, Tye, Rusev, and Bobby. Yeah, all 4 of those feuds sound great compared to this, right?
Prediction – Bray wins setting up a match at the Woken Compound in North Carolina
- First Ever Historic Women’s Elimination Chamber for the belt – Alexa Bliss vs Mickie James vs Sasha Banks vs Bayley vs Mandy Rose vs Sonya Deville
Keri: This match will be good. I really don’t have anything more to say than that really.
Prediction: Alexa retains and is forced back into hiding by Creative until Mania.
Kent: My poor, poor asshole. I think that Paige and Nia were meant to be in this one with Asuka taking on Sonya and Mandy. That’s my best guess. This match may not be terrible. That’s what I thought about the women’s Royal Rumble. I was SO FUCKING WRONG! Alexa makes everything work better, especially when working with Mickie and I think her and Sasha have good chemistry. Bayley is the one to watch for botches. I think she’s going to be the worst performer, and I hope she proves me wrong. I think the standout will be Sonya.
Prediction – It will be my moment of Bliss for #100 because that only seems fair.
- Men’s #1 Contendership Elimination Chamber – The Miz vs John Cena vs Seth Rollins vs Finn Balor vs Roman Reigns vs Elias vs Braun Strowman
Keri: Unlike Kent, I’m going to state the inevitable conclusion of how this match will go and I’m not even going to include the words prediction in my response. Roman is winning this match. He is facing Brock at Mania. We all have to deal with it so let’s just start dealing with it now.
Kent: I’m not doing it. I will not predict Roman to win. It is the single worst choice, yes even worse than Cena……yeah worse. I want Braun to win. The crowd wants Braun or Finn to win with a bit that wants to WWE. Really, Seth should have a lot of momentum after Monday’s match, and I think his fatigue should tie into an early elimination and Kurt mocking him on RAW. I think The Miz can be easily dismissed as can Elias, although Elias vs Brock would be fucking money. I think Cena can be easily written off due to his recent storyline. That leave 4 very legit possibilities. Roman and Brun have both had a match with the Beast while Seth had a three-way with Cena also involved, and then there is Finn. The thing is, and we say this on the podcast when a big make or break is present. Right now, this is when they could make the Randy Orton to Roman’s version of John Cena. They could make Braun the fucking man. I’d have him and Roman come to a draw somehow. They can make anything happen. This is the match that should close out the PPV, so I won’t be shocked if it doesn’t thanks to history, blah blah vagina.
Prediction – Braun and Roman come to a draw somehow and make this a great Mania main event.
- What’s the hardest match on the card to predict?
Keri: Probably the tag team match
Kent: Tag Team Title match is the answer for me, although the Bray match I am quite divided too. I can at least foresee Bray vs Matt at Mania. The tag division, it seems like destiny that we get a clusterfuck multi-team match at Mania.
- Any other matches? If so, predict one.
Keri: I don’t think so.
Kent: Ginger Rhynos vs The Revival. Honestly, I don’t think so. The EC matches are going to be an hour a piece adding entrances.
- Best match of the night will be?
Keri: Tag match or pre-show match.
Kent: Dark horse is the tag title match. Tag matches on PPV have been money. Now if you aren’t looking forward to Roman vs Brock, I think this has to be your answer.
- Worst match of the night will be (excluding kick off show)?
Keri: Asuka vs Nia
Kent: I don’t think Asuka vs Nia is going to deliver. I hope that I am wrong. I just have a gut feeling about this one.
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