Fast Lane is happening tonight, so that means I coerced Keri into writing a preview with me. The main event seems awfully familiar to us. Over on our podcast, Are You Not Kentertained we discussed this and other topics that may or may not be relevant. Please enjoy.
- Becky & Naomi vs Natalya & Carnella
Keri: Random match is random. This seems to me to be just a match to get these ladies on the card. Prediction: Becky and Naomi win
Kent: I know a lot of people feel bad for Becky, and I do, I truly do, but I feel worse for Carmella. They have done nothing at all with her for close to 6 months, and she is the one that didn’t get her briefcase removed via Golden (Do doodoo doooooooo) Shovel. Carmella was the best they had on Smackdown once Alexa left and they have just raped her. Carmella should be using the #MeToo after her booking.
Prediction: Becky and Naomi…..I guess….does anybody really care?
- Shinsuke Nakamura vs Rusev
Keri: I’m intrigued by this matchup. This should be a good match. But again it seems to me to be another match set up just to get both guys on the card. Prediction: Nakamura wins so he looks strong going into Mania.
Kent: It feels weird saying this, but WWE have themselves set up to make a great Wrestlemania. Hear me out. We all know that they won’t because we witnessed what happened to Luke Harper last year. More on him in #5. So right now, if WWE wanted to, they could have Braun and possibly Elias added to the Roman vs Brock match to protect Brock and give Braun the match that he deserves. Rumor has it that he may not have a match at Mania. I love the fucking internet. The WWE could give us Bayley vs Sasha and have it out shine the other 3-4 women’s matches planned, but a WIDE margin. They could book the one match that could happen that would get everybody moist, Taker vs Cena. Then there’s this opportunity. Who is the most over act in WWE currently? Why it is Rusev. This is a fact. If WWE wanted to cause a fucking crazed audience, have Aiden cost Shinsuke the match at Fast Lane and Rusev claim that he deserves Shinsuke’s main event spot at Mania. Rusev is booked in some match where he has to win and he’s in, and he overcomes the odds, Cena style, except the fans will cheer, and you have a Daniel Bryan 4 years ago situation. And if you put Rusev in the ring with AJ and Shinsuke, who do you have win? Yeah. That’s a fucking main event!!!!!
Prediction: Shinsuke squashes Rusev and all of the fans. Horrible fucking idea to have one of your most over stars who is set to main event Mania take on the most over guy at the moment on Smackdown. Quick side question, who would the fans cheer in a Rusev vs Braun special attraction match? I really don’t know the answer.
- Charlotte vs Ruby Riot (The Walking Dead)
Keri: So this weekend on As the Bullet Club Turns, the boys are in Las Vegas for the ROH 16th Anniversary show. Cody faced Matt Taven, won the match, and got his precious Ring of Honor back. He celebrated that win with Brandi and Bury the Bear (watch Being the Elite to understand Bury because I’m not explaining it). Well, the celebration took a turn when Cody went in for a hug from Bury and got pushed to the ground. Why would Bury do that you ask? Well the Bury took his bear head off to reveal that inside the bear suit was none other than….Kenny Omega. Then Cody got a V Trigger for his troubles and Omega got a kiss from Brandi for his. And the drama continues. Prediction: Charlotte retains. Yawn.
Kent: Last week on TWD, we had the best episode of the season, by far. IMDB rating concur, and it’s not even close. This week we should get some of Daryl being the leader guiding the group to the Hilltop. Gabriel is supposed to have a pretty big episode as is Eugene. I expect this to be very well done, except for the Daryl stuff. Daryl’s last name ought to be Flair. I hope we see more Janis, but I doubt it. Seriously, who in the blue hell is looking forward to this match? A show of hands will suffice. Okay, so apparently either Ric is the only one with hands or nobody gives a fuck.
Prediction: Asuka challenges female Ric.
- Bobby Roode vs Randy Orton
Keri: Another interesting matchup. This should be a good match and I fully expect it to be Jindered at some point.
Prediction: Roode retains and a triple threat is set for Mania
Kent: So Jinder is getting involved? He’ll be on commentary or get in the match somehow or be involved in the end? Great, got that out of the way. I think this match could be very good, but a screwy finish will limit it’s potential.
Prediction: Bobby Roode because no reason to change that yet.
- The Usos vs New Day
Keri: Yea? It’s this match for 100,000th time. This is a match of the night contender though. And I fully expect the winner to be challenged by the brothers of bludgeoning. Prediction: Usos retain.
Kent: What a fresh matchup this is. I would have never considered putting these 2 teams in a match against each other. How refreshing!!! Soo, this will be the match of the night most likely and hopefully, the Bludgeon Brothers beat the hell out of everybody because it’s their time to shine. I look forward to Mania. If Vince has an ounce of compassion for the Usos, he will let them have a match at Mania.
Prediction: Double DQ via Bludgeon Brothers giving us this match again at Mania but with The Bludgeon Brothers. Also, Luke Harper’s new film, Mohawk, just released. It’s available on iTunes. I hope to find it elsewhere so I can own it on a platform I use. Looks amazing.
- AJ Styles vs John Cena, vs Kevin Owens vs Sami Zayn vs Baron Corbin vs Dolph Ziggler
Keri: While this match will probably be good. I don’t care. All I have to say is if this match does anything and I repeat anything to mess up Styles vs Nakamura for me I will be really upset. Prediction: AJ retains. Fingers crossed.
Kent: Fans, hold onto your socks really tight because I’m about to knock your socks off otherwise. Let’s go back to 2017’s Money in the Bank match for the men. The participants: AJ Styles, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, Dolph ZIggler, Baron Corbin, and Joh…..I kid, it was Shinsuke. Phew….for a moment, I was worried that WWE was creatively bankrupt. Now that we know this, we can naturally surmise the winner based on the previous match.
Prediction: And NEWWWWW champion……Baron Corbin…..right? I’ll wake up anytime now, I swear.
- Pick a Kickoff Show match
Keri: Something with American Beta.
Kent: Breezedango or The Ascension vs American Beta…..we will go with Breeze because Ascension doesn’t fight on PPV.
- What match will be surprisingly good?
Keri: Rusev vs Nakamura
Kent: Well we both expect the Tag and World championship matches to be good, so that doesn’t qualify. That leaves 4 other matches. For me, I am going to suggest that the women’s tag match is way better than I anticipated. Fuck it, all 4 women are very good….well 3 of them and Natalya. I have issues with people who are obsessed with cats.
- What match will disappoint?
Keri: Charlotte vs Ruby Riott
Kent: The tag team match will leave us feeling Meh.
- Who will be your MVP (one single performer)?
Keri: It’s Rusev Day!!
Kent: Dolph Ziggler is my answer. He and AJ were having a great match on SD prior to the fuckery.
- Who will win the Charlotte Flair award for the evening?
Keri: It’s namesake.
Kent: If somebody is capable of being more dull, bland, and uninspiring than Charlotte, I will say it’s either Ruby Riot, John Cena, or Randy Orton. It’s hard for the older guys to give 2 fucks about this PPV, so I don’t expect their best effort. Still, going with Ruby Riot. I was hard on her in NXT and she has not disproved my criticisms so far.
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