Singles (1992)

Having read the description, I’m not at all looking forward to this.  It has a solid cast, mainly Bill Pullman (Dr. Jamison), Eric Stoltz (The Mime)  and Matt Dillon (Cliff) stick out for me, but there’s a lot of people including: Bridget Fonda (Janet), Kyra Sedgwick (Linda), Jeremy Piven (Doug), Tom Skerritt (Mayor Weber), and Peter Horton (Jamie) mainly because he was the lead in Children of the Corn.  Oh, this film came out in 1992, so there’s that.  9 Deuce!

Wow, this Linda chick seems like a moron, because she’s meets this Spanish guy and wants to marry him the next day.  She goes out dancing with her gal pal, and sees the Spaniard at a bar with another chick.  Haha, what did you learn?  OK, the spam line was pretty fucking clever.  I dig Dillon’s hair, and Bridget is pretty cute here.  Bridget was amazing in Jackie Brown and I liked her in A Simple Plan.

Eric Stoltz as the Mime, he cracks me up.  I wonder if he used a felt pen for his makeup.  How many people even get that reference, I don’t know, but Pulp Fiction just to let you know.  The soundtrack in this film, fucking solid.  The scene by all the magazines when Bailey is hoping to get the chick’s number and she just shakes her head, it was good.  Hahaha, fucking Paul Giamatti, I love that dude.

What what what?  Linda passed the door lock test!  If you don’t know about it, watch a Bronx Tale and stop reading this.  Oh man, a Sonics and Xavier McDaniel reference.  Good shit.  This main dude is hairy as hell.  Hey, pictures of tits, fantastic.  This obsession with breasts, I don’t get it…..and there’s Bill Pullman.  That is something that out trumps breasts.  Janet wants to get a boob job done by Pullman.  Her body wouldn’t look great with too huge of tits.

Just think about it, in 4 short years, Pullman went from enhancing tits to being the President of the US giving the greatest speech of all time.  Wow, I didn’t write for the last half of this film.

End Film

I honestly was bored throughout this film.  Kyra wasn’t the right girl for that role, in my opinion.  She’s a fine actress, but I didn’t like her for this role.  Matt Dillon and Pullman were about the only things that I really liked, and the Mime.  It wasn’t a bad movie, but it certainly wasn’t for me.  The soundtrack on the other hand was wonderful, and gets 2 points alone.  I can give this a 4.0 and feel justified.  You wouldn’t give a film that didn’t really entertain you above a 5.  I acknowledge that it was well shot and acted fine for the most part.  It was the story that simply didn’t engage me whatsoever.  I had a hard time finding a character to get behind or relate with.  As much as I despise Ben Affleck, in Chasing Amy there were times where I could totally relate with him.  Just nothing here for me.  Sorry fans of this film.  I feel Gen X-er’s probably dig the hell out of this film though.

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The Best of the Royal Rumble – 9 Deuce Style

Today, I’d like to take a look back at the best of what the Royal Rumble has to offer us.  I have broken it down 9 Deuce style. I am joined by my after PPV podcast partner, Steve, for this particular venture.  Keri and Russ basically flipped me off.  So here you go, this is what we consider the best of the Rumble.  Both of us have seen every single year, so you know that you are getting legit perspectives.   

The 9

  1.  Best save from elimination, meaning the coolest way(s) people have saved themselves from being eliminated.  I don’t know if this should be the Shawn Michaels award or the Kofi Kingston award.

Steve:  John Morrison in 2011, when  he got knocked into the guardrail and hung on.

Kent:  Morrison is my pick as well, but props to Kofi for walking on his hands in 2012 I think it was.

  1.  Best quick elimination from the match.  Old school fans may recall one of the Bushwackers getting eliminated in record time, and then Santino set the standard.  We aren’t caring about who was quickest, but rather which one was the best. The Elimination should occur before the next participant comes out.

Steve:  I’m going to go with the Bushwackers, something about how he was just completely unfazed about being tossed out right away and kept doing his walk right to the back.

Kent:  Jerry Lawler back in 97 when he wa son commentary, enters the ring, goes out in seconds and returns to the announce desk like he never even entered.  There are a ton of good ones to choose.  Warlord, Titus, Santino, Bushwackers, JBL, etc.

  1.  Favorite elimination from the Rumble.  This one is self explanatory.

Steve:  Maven eliminating the Undertaker is my favorite, just because it was so unexpected.  Also Macho Man getting himself eliminated is a good one.

Kent:  Sid eliminating Hogan in 1992 was awesome, Muhammad Hassan’s elimination in 2005 was great, but I will go with Benoit eliminating Big Show in 2004 because it was a neat way at the time and I just wasn’t sure if WWE ever truly had faith in Benoit.

  1.  Best rookie hazing during the match.  There are obvious times when the veterans have some fun with the young guys with various chops and other old school moves.  Give me your favorite example.

Kent:  Well Steve alluded to Maven eliminating Taker, and after that, he got his ass handed to him.  Still, Daniel Puder in 2005 was absolutely brutal with Eddie, Benoit, and Hardcore Holly.

  1.  Best Hoss showdown in the rumble.  In the Rumble, it’s inevitable for 2 big boys to square off and all of the focus on them.  What one was the best or your favorite?

Kent:  Giant Gonzales vs Taker in 1993 for all of the wrong reasons.  It’s still hilariously bad.  

  1.  Best Eliminator, or the Kane award, goes to your favorite wrestler who has his fair share of eliminations.  Something about the way that he does it, just pleases you.

Kent:  I really enjoyed Punk in 2010 holding his ground for a long time and owning that ring.

  1.  Best Survivor is for those guys that always seem to last long and entertain you doing so.  Maybe they have won the whole thing, maybe they have come up short.  This isn’t for just one year, it’s a sign of overall appreciation through the years, or maybe you just love what Ric Flair did in in 1992.  Woooooooo!

Kent:  Jericho is probably my pick with a nod to Rey, Cody, and Backlund in 93.

  1.  Worst Rumble of all time.  Yeah, this one is self explanatory.  Do you focus on the in ring work, the lack of stars, the terrible eliminations, the bad storyline leading in, the outcome of the match, or maybe everything was just too obvious from the get go.  Don’t let your hatred of Bluetista sway your pick.  Seriously…..don’t. .

Kent:  1993, look at the participants. They get rid of Flair, Perfect, and Dibiase so early and have nothing left.  Absolute trash.   

  1.  Best Rumble of all time.  Take everything I just said above in #8 and pretend it’s opposite day.  You probably still aren’t picking 2014, but you can.  Tell us why you chose this one.

Steve:  1992 should be everyone’s best.  It was for the title, Flair came in at 3 and won it, Heenan and Monsoon were great the entire night on commentary.  The after Rumble interview with Mean Gene telling someone off camera to put the cigarette out.

Kent:  I’ll go 2008, despite that being Cena’s year.  That Rumble had everything that you want in a rumble.  It had great stars, some returns and legends, and Cena coming back was actually incredible at the time, and still is today.  1992 finished second for me.

Bonus Deuce

  1.  Best surprise entrant in the Rumble.  Please, don’t get this confused with a returning wrestler, say somebody from injury.  No, this should be a big surprise that the average fan wouldn’t have known about.  Let’s call this the AJ Styles award to ruin anybody’s thunder if they try to pick him and make their pick seem obvious and stupid.  A female entrant would fall under this category if you wanted to be historic.

Steve:  Does Diesel in 2011 count? I believe it got Matt Striker fired so he has that going for him.

Kent:  Jericho in 2013 and to hold his own for so long was incredible to me.  I loved it.  Also, AJ Styles has to be mentioned.

  1.  Best returning entrant in the Rumble.  This should be a superstar that has been with the company and probably has just been injured.  They didn’t defect from ECW or WCW, they were already with the WWF/WWE.  Think of it as the HHH while listening to Creed’s “My Sacrifice”.

Steve:  John Cena in 2008.  Although it’s cool to hate him, and say everything he does is terrible, he came back from shoulder surgery way sooner than anyone should…which makes me think he has mutant healing powers, or took HGH.  It also had the crowd cheering him when his music hit, which for John Cena to have 100% of the crowd cheering is amazing.

Kent:  Cena for all of the reasons that Steve suggested.  I don’t care if he was on something like HGH, he was possibly missing Wrestlemania, and yet he returns for the Rumble.  Unreal!  Way better than HHH’s return, which was crammed down our gullet like a Women’s Revolution.

 

Finally, I would like to give you some interesting facts that I dug up on Wikipedia that I feel may interest you in the Rumble.  These are numbers and statistics that don’t get much love from commentary on WWE.

Longest Cumulative Time Spent in the Royal Rumble

HHH @ 3:59:37
Chris Jericho @ 3:55:59
HBK @ 3:42:30
Kane @ 3:38:46
Rey Mysterio @ 3:20:01
Cody Rhodes @ 3:08:30

Honestly, I’m surprised by Cody.  He’s only been in 7 or 8 of them while Shawn has been in 12, and HHH with 9.  Rey has been in at #1, 2, 4, and 8 in the past, and he always did well, except 2014.

Most Royal Rumble Appearances

Kane with 19
HBK with 12
Goldust and Big Show with 11
Taker and Rikishi with 10
Viscera, Mark Henry, Miz, HHH, Jericho,  and R Truth with 9

Basically, Kane should have this record for many years to come.  If he participates this Sunday, that will be 20 out of 30 Rumbles, or two thirds of all Rumbles.  Shawn’s #’s would be higher if he wasn’t out for 4 and a half years, obviously.  Taker and Mark Henry should be higher but injuries to big men is a hell of a thing.  Big Show has been involved in lots of singles matches or he would be higher.  Miz has a shot at Kane’s record in my opinion.

Most Cumulative Eliminations in the Rumble

Kane with 44
HBK with 39
Stone Cold with 36
Taker with 35
HHH with 33
Big Show with 31
Hulk Hogan with 27
Roman with 23
Cena with 22

I absolutely loathe this Roman Reigns bullshit.  He should have to prove himself before being handed all of these things.  Kane had to be Isaac Yankem and Fake Diesel before given his push.  Roman, well he’s Dwayne’s cousin with really moist hair.  I’m surprised that HHH doesn’t have more, and Big Show’s numbers are a travesty.  Big Show actually has a higher elimination average per Rumble than Kane.  Of course Roman is almost averaging 8 a year.  Yeah, would you look at that.Austina averaged 6, Hogan with 6.75, but Roman has 7.67 average.  Stupid WWE!!!

 

With that being said, don’t expect any records broke this year, but lots of fun….hopefully.  Enjoy!

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The Royal Rumble Retrospective – Part 1 of 6 (1988-1992)

Welcome to the 9 Deuce exclusive, The Royal Rumble Retrospective.  This has long been the most beloved match of the year for a huge portion of wrestling fans.  Every year, I tend to watch a few of these and have a great time.  This year, I wanted to go back and revisit each and every Rumble from the beginning and find out what each Rumble brought to the table and try to determine my personal favorite.  I’m not going to say the best, as your criteria is probably very different, and incorrect, from mine. This has been an arduous task, but I hope you enjoy this project which will have taken about 35-40 hours when all is said and done.  I will provide links to all of these in each edition for easier navigating. A new part will be added daily until completion. I have also linked each Rumble to it’s Wikipedia page so you can see all the info that I didn’t provide.

Part 1 (1988-1992)
Part 2 (1993-1997)
Part 3 (1998-2002)
Part 4 (2003-2007)
Part 5 (2008-2012)
Part 6 (2013-2016)

 

1988 – This was the first one, and they were figuring out what in the blue hell to do.  This was a mess, but the fans liked it.  It only has 20 men, no real prize at the end.  It was a bit of a clusterfuck.  Technically, it was probably worse than the 93 Rumble, but that was the style then.  By 93, they really had no excuses.  This one had a ton of legends. I would say 60-70% of the people in the match are hall of famers.  No Macho Man, Rick Rude, Ricky Steamboat, Hogan, Andre, Ted Dibiase, or Superfly.  Duggan may be one of the all time worst winners, and that’s only because they failed to follow this win up with a huge push thanks to everybody ahead of him.  I’d give this a 3.0, just slightly ahead of 93.

  1.  Best Save
  2.  Best Quick Elimination – Junkyard Dog at 2:30 was the shortest
  3.  Favorite Elimination – The last one because it meant that it was over
  4.  Best Rookie Hazing
  5.  Best Hoss Showdown
  6.  Best Eliminator – One Man Gang with 6
  7.  Best Survivor – Bret Hart @ 25:42
  8.  Best Surprise Entrant
  9.  Best Returning Superstar

 

1989 – The year that Axe and Smash of Demolition drew #1 and #2.  How great was that moment?  It was huge, and it was awesome.  Demolition was my first favorite tag team, and I absolutely enjoyed myself in the beginning.  Interestingly enough, no managers allowed ringside in this one.  Also, Demolition got their music played, but they appear to be it.  The big event of this one was Hogan being a greedy ass and eliminating Bad News Brown and his best friend, and partner, Macho Man Randy Savage, which caused Savage to flip the hell out.  Hulk gets double teamed by the Twin Towers, Big Bossman and Akeem, he gets eliminated, and in traditional Hogan fashion, he cheats and whines about how it’s not fair.  Seriously, why did you people cheer this guy?  In the end, Big John Studd was victorious over Akeem and Million Dollar Man.  This felt beyond anticlimactic.  He wasn’t even around the full calendar year..  This Rumble had better participants but was still a jumbled up mess.  I would have had Bad News Brown last longer, that was a big mistake as he was money.  All in all, I call it a 3.9 and I don’t think you miss anything if you miss this one.  

  1.  Best Save – Marty Janetty hanging on by his toes was pretty awesome.
  2.  Best Quick Elimination – Warlord in under 2 seconds
  3.  Favorite Elimination  – Andre eliminating himself when Jake came back out with his snake
  4.  Best Rookie Hazing
  5.  Best Hoss Showdown – Akeem vs. Big John Studd
  6.  Best Eliminator – Hogan had 9
  7.  Best Survivor – Mr Perfect at 27:58
  8.  Best Surprise Entrant
  9.  Best Returning Superstar

 

1990 – With Hogan’s popularity waning slightly and the Ultimate Warrior rapidly ascending the ranks of WWF, the question was which of these 2 would win.  We already know who wins a power struggle when Hogan is involved.  Million Dollar Man drew #1.  I hate that because he clearly had demonstrated a willingness to sell his # to move up, so he should never be this early.  Not a lot of fans wearing merchandise I am noticing.  #4 is Jake the Snake, and I have noticed that Jake has been incredibly over these first 3 Rumbles.  Wow, they followed Jake with Macho Man then Rowdy Roddy Piper.  4 hosses in first 6 picks.  That concerns me.  Jake and Ted are always fun to watch fight, but Piper vs Savage was really great too.  Managers are allowed this year, and it fills up fast on the outside.  Funny seeing the Warlord smiling.  Macho and Dibiase are working well together.  Savage got super pissed when Dusty eliminated him.  The hosses just keep coming.  After Piper we have had Bret, Bad News Brown, Warlord, Dusty, and Andre the Giant.  Lots of hall of famer.  This is the most stacked Rumble yet.  Ahhh the old Piper eliminates Bad News, and Bad News grabs and eliminates Piper.  This shit still happens.  Bobby Heenan and Mr. Fuji almost getting into a fight was great. Demolition and Haku have made their way out along with The Red Rooster and Akeem.  Absolutely stacked.  Wow, Demolition eliminated Andre.  That was impressive.  Wow, Superfly Jimmy Snuka came out and eliminated Akeem.  What the hell?  We get Dino Bravo who was pretty big and then Earthquake.  Earthquake takes out Dusty and Axe really fast.  It took 5 guys to get Earthquake out.  No love for the hosses this year.  When the Ultimate Warrior comes out, the crowd goes nuts.  Jim Neidhart, Rick Martel, Tito Santana, Honkey Tonk Man are out next and then Warrior eliminates the new record holder, Million Dollar Man.  Hogan is out shortly thereafter and it goes nuts again, as expected.  They give us Shawn Michaels for 12 seconds.  Yes, HBK for 12 seconds.  We then get Hogan vs Warrior by themselves and get the simultaneous clothesline spot, which is iconic.  The crowd was incredibly hot for this, and this was a precursor to Wrestlemania 6.  The Rumble finishes off with Barbarian, Ravishing Rick Rude, Hercules, and Mr Perfect.  This may have the most hall of famers in a Royal Rumble.  So I would say the most star studded, but an, 2 minutes a pop is so long.  The pacing was really good and this is the year they figured their stuff out and had all of their best in the ring together.  Hogan wins, obviously.  I’d give this a 7.3.

  1.  Best Save
  2.  Best Quick Elimination – Shawn Michaels is by far the shortest at 12 seconds
  3.  Favorite Elimination – Piper eliminating Bad News, followed by Bad News eliminating Piper and then brawling to the back, Demolition eliminating Andre
  4.  Best Rookie Hazing
  5.  Best Hoss Showdown – Jake vs Ted
  6.  Best Eliminator – Hogan and Warrior had 6 apiece, Hoagn’s were more impressive as he eliminated Warrior
  7.  Best Survivor – Million Dollar man Ted Dibiase @ 44:47
  8.  Best Surprise Entrant
  9.  Best Returning Superstar

 

 

– Warrior had just lost the World Heavyweight Championship that he beat Hogan for, to Sgt Slaughter earlier in the night.  This year was basically the same as the year before, minus the excitement.  Very redundant and boring.  You had Legion of Doom, Texas Tornado, taker, and Shane Douglas, but everybody else was in last year’s Rumble I think, well Roma and maybe the Nasty Boys.  The men they replaced were better.  This just didn’t work for me.  I am giving it a 4.0 as I was bored as all hell during this one.

  1.  Best Save
  2.  Best Quick Elimination – Bushwhacker Luke by Earthquake was hilarious
  3.  Favorite Elimination Legion of Doom eliminated the Undertaker.  I love Taker, but glad it was them who got the elimination and not Hogan.
  4.  Best Rookie Hazing – Shane Douglas
  5.  Best Hoss Showdown – Hogan and Earthquake I guess, Bulldog vs Taker
  6.  Best Eliminator – Hulk Hogan with 7
  7.  Best Survivor – Rick Martel @ 52:17
  8.  Best Surprise Entrant
  9.  Best Returning Superstar

 

1992 – The year the Rumble came to Albany, and my 11 year old self was there.  No, I can’t ever find me on camera.  This is all about Flair, to the untrained eye.  This was huge at the time.  Just as important, this was the first time that fans really seemed to lose love for Hogan, I mean fans were openly swearing about Hogan.  Sid also made his impact felt.  Then there is the part where Macho eliminated himself, then rejoined the match.  Just delightful.  Shawn also is now the HBK, which is great.  Flair’s promo prior to the match was solid.  The best thing though, above everything else is Bobby the Brain Heenan’s commentary.  “It isn’t fair to Flair” is one of the greatest lines ever in commentary.  This is the first great Royal Rumble.  Things flowed incredibly well together, lots of chokes and eye pokes.  The Hogan fuckery at the end does knock a point off and no huge Hoss showdown, otherwise, amazing.  I give this an 8.4.

  1.  Best Save – Commentary team saying that a wrestler has to propel a wrestler for it to count as an elimination
  2.  Best Quick Elimination  – Macho Man eliminates himself
  3.  Favorite Elimination – Macho Man….duh
  4.  Best Rookie Hazing – Texas Tornado, Taker
  5.  Best Hoss Showdown – Piper vs Flair
  6.  Best Eliminator – Sid with 6
  7.  Best Survivor – Flair @ 1:00:02
  8.  Best Surprise Entrant – None
  9.  Best Returning Superstar – None

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