I saw this movie tonight in the theater and I felt compelled to write about it while it was fresh in my head. I’m going to go light on the spoiler aspect. I will eventually do a legit blog when this is released on blu ray.
So here’s the first thing that needs to be said. If you have seen the whole franchise, or most of it, you should feel entirely at home. To go even further, none of the twists should surprise you. That’s not to say that it’s not well done in regards to the twists.
The hallmarks of the franchise are present, mostly. I must admit, the traps and deaths seemed really bland compared to stuff from Saw 2-6. If anybody sees this and insists on calling this film “torture porn”, you should feel free to backhand them until they are crying. Dumbasses deserve to learn lessons. This film lacks in that department big time, so you will know how dumb somebody is by what they say after viewing this.
Another hallmark of the film is the 2-3 simultaneous stories occurring and the question of when and where is this happening. This could qualify as a spoiler, but only if you have never sen a single film of this franchise prior, in which case, that’s your own damn fault for starting at part 8.
Yes, Tobin Bell is in this. Yes, talk of rights and wrongs are involved. This is still a gruesome morality play and do not forget that. This still tells a story of people who do not listen to the rules and therefore lose their lives. Towards the end, the last game of sorts between a man and a woman is terribly predictable, and yet so satisfying.
The characters are not very enjoyable in this one. I found myself enjoying the redhead, and that was about it, aside from Tobin. I did love some of the shout outs to previous entries in the film. Jill Tuck is referenced, and that pleased me.
In the end, I don’t know how well this will be received. I have an incredibly bias opinion. I liked it. It hit more than it missed. The second half is better than the first due to the storytelling techniques. All of the callbacks were very satisfying. By toning down the gore, it allowed us to focus more on the story, and that is where Part 7 had failed us oh so badly. I know some of you will never truly understand or appreciate the story to this franchise. Some of you simply don’t get it, and that’s fine. Just try not to ridicule something that you don’t comprehend. I am curious if this will be successful enough to get the franchise rolling again. I would be super happy if it did, but if this is the last bit we get, I am happy to go out on this one because Saw 3D was not a very good film.
I do recommend this to the fans of the franchise. I would say to anybody else, give it a chance only if you are positive that you will invest the full amount of time to finish the film because the plot requires that. Right now I feel confident in giving this a 6.5 rating and possibly seeing it again prior to release on blu ray.
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Today I go down a 31 day journey where I watch 100 Horror Movies while I try to maintain a somewhat normal schedule in regards to my blogs, podcasts, and eating. Speaking of food, expect a lot of food references in my blogs. Right now, I am eating a bagel sandwich with ham, swiss, salami, and bacon. I cannot unhinge my jaw wide enough to take a legit full bite. I am proud. Also, I have my trusty Monster cereals: Count Chocula, Boo Berry, and Franken Berry.
Now, let’s talk about what a lot of you came here to find out. What films am I blogging about this year? While the list is ever changing, I can give you some confirmations. This year, we lost 2 horror greats in George Romero and Tobe Hooper, so I will be tackling the “of the Dead” film franchise as well as the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise. But wait, there’s more! My 9 Deuce Horror Group will be doing 6 large group discussions this month on topics such as IT, Halloween, Trick ‘r Treat, The Monster Squad and more. I plan on going back in time and tackling some of the classic films from the Universal Monster era, the Hitchcock era, some British Anthologies, and some Asian horror. If you have been following me from the beginning, there has been one franchise that I have yet to touch upon. This coming Friday is the 6th, which makes the next one the 13th. You’re welcome.
After much consideration, and a lot of great suggestions from friends and well wishers….and possibly mortal enemies, I can now inform you that this year, I am kicking off this marathon of macabre with one of the OG’s of horror cinema, and a film that I have never watched. I’m referring to none other than Nosferatu. I encourage you to bookmark this page as it will be updated daily.
Russ: My Feed is really acting up tonight it keeps freezing on my. I picked this match up in the middle. Kalisto is dominating this match from what I have seen. Titus looks great in his suit. Why is Apollo arguing with Titus. Titus needs to cut ties with Apollo he isn’t good for the brand. Seriously, I thought coaches were supposed to get their guys faces and tell them what to do. Apollo had some of his best moves on display, but my guy Titus needs to show Apollo what it means to be a part of the Titus Brand!
Rating: 3, I missed 8/10th of the match, but I already know it isn’t worth going back to watch.
Kent: I like that although Otunga is back, Booker is still on commentary. I hate this thing where Apollo is arguing with Titus. It makes very little sense. This match was picking up momentum, and you would be shocked to find out that WWE felt the need to go to commercial break. Nice Samoan drop by Apollo that you don’t see often from him. Wow, this story is getting worse and worse. How does anything make any sense logically? Titus brought this one on himself.
Rating: 3.1 for what they gave us. Also, why is Renee dressed so casually? Just asking.
2. The Miz def Dean Ambrose to become the 7 time Intercontinental Champion
Russ: A little surprised they are starting out with this match, but I can understand it, gotta get that crowd started on the right foot. Maryse looks pretty hot in her outfit. Did I hear 92 PPV’s for The Miz? Good for him. Nice psychology so far The Miz is doing everything he can to piss off Dean. Decent chain wrestling going on. A little slow to start, this has been a very methodical match. I picked the wrong PPV to Live Blog! My feed is the worst is has been in forever! I missed whatever Dean did to almost get DQ’d! When did Maryse get kicked out! Fuck you WWE Network! Stop skipping. Glad that The Miz picked up the win. He is best when he has a belt around his waist.
Rating: 4.8, Parts of the match were good. Liked the psychology and the crowd was really into it.
Kent: I spent the entirety of this match fixing this week’s cursed 50th episode podcast because that fucking thing can just eat a fat dick. Sigh. This match seemed adequate, but I hate stupid shit with refs. As a matter of fact, if we never have a stupid ref moment again, I could be a slightly less miserable bastard. No Elias. I’m not watching tomorrow night. Fuck this.
Rating: I cannot rate this fairly, so I pass.
Rich Swann & Sasha Banks def Noam Dar & Alicia Fox
Russ: I tried to get my internet and WWE Network back and functioning and during that time I missed the match. It was obviously short and meant to get the crowd excited. I’m not bothering to go back and watch this. I’m getting angry with the whole mess! On the night I decided to do this live I have the worst tech issues I’ve ever had! I can’t even keep connected to google docs to write this!
Rating: Anger Rising!
Kent: I didn’t pay much attention to this match. Russ is having all kinds of tech issues. Glad that we chose tonight as our first ever live wrestling blog. Rich looked great, but the women were the story of the match. I have no complaints here, and it was the best match that I saw tonight from a rating perspective.
Rating: 3.5 Also, NOW you give us Elias?!?!?!?! Fuck you WWE!
Alexa Bliss def Bayley to retain the Women’s Championship
Russ: At least the network froze when Alexa was on my screen so I had something sexy to look at while I rage with anger over how shitty my internet is right now. I have never had this many issues before. It’s because I decided to live blog. If I decided that I would do a normal review this wouldn’t be happening. Ok, match hasn’t started and things seem ok right now. Let’s hope I’m not speaking too soon. Oh goody WWE Network has detected an error. I’ve seen the WWE Violence advisory more times tonight than I’ve actually seen matches! Wow, Kendo Stick came out pretty quickly, or at least down quickly. Why the hell does Bayley hesitate? It’s part of the match use the fucking thing! Good, Alexa will show you how it is done. Well, that was shorter than I thought it would be. Once Alexa got a hold of the Kendo stick this was all over. Decently brutal but Bayley is stupid.
Rating: 4, Alexa is still champion and my network seems to be calming the fuck down! Silver linings people!
Kent: That was a really bland and short match. Is Bayley healthy? Seriously, she never had the upper hand during this whole feud. I think Bayley is hurt. This really was underwhelming. No spanking either!!!
Rating: Underwhelming as F*^&$, 3.0
5. Sheasaro def The Hardy Boys to become the NEW tag team champions
Russ: I’m not sure why the Hardly Boys chose to go with a Steel Cage Match, but whatever! I’m expecting this to be a good match. Interesting the only way to win is to escape! So you kind of want to escape together or one member could be in deep shit. Ok, so Matt has both his opponents on the ground and Jeff is already out. Why would Matt try to climb the cage when he could have just walked out? Corey Graves mentioned “Double Edge Sword” I didn’t know he knew me that personally. This is a decent match, lots of big moves. Not sure how it was legal for Jeff to go back in, but that was a sweet whisper in the wind. The ending was a little cliched there with Sheasaro just beating the Hardly’s out of the ring, but ending aside I enjoyed the match. I didn’t enjoy having to start the match over 5 times, but at this point we all know my internet is sucking a double edged sword right now.
Rating: 5, I may go back and watch this when I can watch it in one smooth real time
Kent: When Sheasaro perform a double Razor’s Edge, maybe Michael shouldn’t say it was almost one. Maybe you acknowledge how awesome it was, like Booker did! Also, double edge sword. Russ’ dick got mentioned! The inherent flaw with this match is that you want your opponent to exit first so that you can double team the leftover. Jeff coming back in did please me. I hate to say it, but it was smart. What a total WWE ending. So dumb. Sheasaro should have just fucking dropped halfway down rather than keeping it close.
Rating: 5.5 as I would watch it again, but it didn’t give me a raging clue or anything.
6. Neville def Austin Aries in a bullshit rules submission match
Russ: So the Network keeps displaying that it can’t show video at this time! What the fuck else are you supposed to be displaying! Fuck this night has been nothing but horseshit! I’ve never had so many internet problems in one night! (Kent: This may be the angriest I have seen Russ over the past few years. Rest assured, I wish I had a hidden camera to see the rage.) So apparently, my internet problems were on the side of Spectrum. Since May 31st anything I’ve had to do with Kent has been a huge problem! Kent’s June Curse is real and it is starting to affect those around him! Finally, got to see the match and I agree with Kent, why are their rope count outs? Shouldn’t Submissions count anywhere? It’s a submission match! I loved how “A Double” showed the effects of all the attacks on his leg from prior in the week. Little things like that set him apart from many other wrestlers. Overall I really enjoyed this match once I could finally see it.
Rating: 5.3, I’m glad Neville won, but where does that leave Aries?
Kent: Wait wait wait, why is there a rope count? It’s a submission match. Isn’t the whole point of a submission that is that the only way to win, and therefore lose, is to submit. That is indicative that there is no DQ. Morons. I am so sick of the rules. Yeah, extreme rules eh? Extremely fucking retarded rules if you ask me. It is a submission match. The only thing that should matter is if someone taps out or passes out. I don’t even want to talk about how that match ended.
Rating: 4.3 mainly because the first part of the match was good. The rules killed this match for me.
7. Samoa Joe won the Fatal 5 Way match to become the new #1 contender to Brock Lesnar
Russ: This was a fun match! It was fun seeing the entrances and the crowd reactions. I liked how Joe and Bray teamed up together in a plausible way. The alliance lasted a little while, which you don’t see that often in these types of matches. Loved the spots and there were a few of them. I thought each guy got a chance to showcase their skills and a few big moves. Liked the ending sequence, but I was hoping for Joe to get a more dominant win. Interesting that no one ate a pin or actually submitted.
Rating: 6.4, I enjoyed this match quite a bit.
Kent: I have spent the past 15 minutes trying to help Russ with his internet. Finn didn’t come out as the demon, which I think is a big mistake. Roman got to come out last. Joe and Bray are double teaming fools. I just wish that Rusev was in this match as well. I actually want to see Rusev and KO vs Bray and Joe. Yup, I know that will NEVER happen, but I want it to. As for the match, I fell asleep at various points. I rewatched it and it didn’t keep my attention all the way through. Some good spots. I really liked everybody’s spots, but I felt that Seth, and to a lesser extent, Roman, were kinda left without many big spots to showcase their talent.
Rating: 5.7 and I wish it was higher but this was just a lackluster main event in all reality.
Worst Match of the Night?
Russ: Well the whole night was awful for me! However, if I have to choose a match I’m going with with the Women’s. I Know I scored it higher than the kickoff match, but this match was too quick and Bayley, I don’t know since Mania, she has been a total beyotch and a real downer. I haven’t liked her since she lost the belt and in this match she did absolutely nothing. I have yet to watch the fatal 5 way, but I know it still has to better than this garbage.
Kent: The women’s match because I was really intrigued at how it would go. It started to build up and ended so abruptly. I wonder if Bayley is hurt.
Best Match of the Night?
Russ: Fatal 5 way. Mainly because the rest of the card was watched in utter misery as I had to deal with my Internet Issues. Still it had a lot of great spots, and some good wrestling mixed in there.
Kent: What Russ said. All of the other matches had major issues for me. This felt like a good match. Still, I fell asleep during it initially. I had to rewatch it, and while good, at times, it didn’t hold my attention.
Did WWE do good by Elias in giving him his own segment?
Russ: Sure, Any exposure to the public and they can boo him will help in the long run. I enjoyed the song, well the pieces I could watch without it repeating or skipping half a million times.
Kent: I felt that they botched it by not having him play a song towards the end of the Dean vs Miz match. Still, better than nothing, but I am a tad upset.
Was Joe the right guy to be Brock’s first sacrificial lamb? How did you feel about that Great Balls of Fire advertisement?
Russ: I saw no such advertisement so I couldn’t tell you what I thought. Joe winning is a “Double Edged Sword” (Like a certain someone we know.” 1st: I’m glad he got a big win at a PPV he needed that. 2nd: We just know he is going to lose and he really can’t afford a loss like he will have with Brock. It will destroy his credibility.
Kent: Joe was not the right guy, and out of all of the matches that Joe could have afforded to lose, they give him this match to win. So dumb. Joe vs Brock at Survivor Series would be a great main event. Instead, they are just going to blow it off. That commercial was everything that a promo would be expected to be with such a name. Fucking hell.
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Welcome everybody to the only wrestling blog that is very fond of historic, first time ever matches that have never been done before.
Wait…no…this can’t be happening! Oh wait, it was for the WWE Championship. Tonight is for #1 Contender’s spot. You win this round WWE. You won’t believe who won that match in 2007. Doo Do Do Dooooooo………
Anyway, tonight, Russ and I will be blogging live and the blog will update after every match so you get our instant reactions to the PPV as it is happening. How exhilarating!
Keri: The only question I have about this match is will get it regulated to the preshow? Probably and my follow up question is does Creative still have faith in Sasha? Again probably not. I guess I had two questions. Anyway, this feud between Sasha and Alicia has been mildly entertaining so this match should be adequate as well. Prediction: Sasha and Rich Swann wins.
Kent: All night long…..I kinda just want to listen to that song throughout the whole match. I want to be excited for this match, but I LOATHE mixed tag matches. I’ll tell you, it wasn’t just the Mania BS with Cena and Miz. No, this shit has been bad since I first saw Dusty and Saphire vs Macho King and Queen Sherri. The match gets in a groove and then it gets reset. Rinse, repeat. It’s a tag match without the one thing that makes a tag match great, the art of keeping your opponent from tagging out so that you can double team them. The hot tag is pointless. Sorry for ranting, but these are valid points.
Prediction: Sasha wins it
Cruiserweight Championship Match – Neville vs Austin Aries
Keri: This match up again. Yea? This match will be match of the night. So why the negativity you ask. Well, I done with this feud. It needs to end with either an Aries win or Neville retaining and moving onto someone else. Prediction: Double A for the win because I like change.
Kent: I have been wondering, who lost more momentum since the Mania build up. Aries came in red hot. Neville may have been the best booked guy on the roster at that time. Then they drag this out. I think Neville needs a fresh challenger is Tozawa. Neville loses everything if he loses this. Aries needs to help elevate some other guys, like Tony Neese or Drew Gulag.
Prediction: Neville wins with some interference to help move this along
Tag Team Championship Steel Cage Match – The Hardly Boys vs Sheasaro
Keri: I have zero confidence that Sheasaro will win this thing based on how they have been booked the last few weeks. With that said, I suspect that may be what Creative wants me to think so I will be shocked when they win. Prediction: Sheasaro wins this round but Hardys take it back at Summerslam and then they feud with a returning Revival.
Kent: As I have complained about for weeks now, making this a cage match never made sense. The Hardys had to get the belts quickly. The WWE actually learned from their errors in how they booked the Dudleys. Now it’s time to let Sheasaro run with it. The biggest problem is that WWE broke up Golden Truth, and appear to be breaking up Enzo and Cass. Meanwhile they have Sheasaro, Revival, and Gallows and Anderson. None of those teams can be face unless the Balor Club happens, and even then, they should be heels. As I am writing this, I am talking myself out of Sheasaro winning. Damnit. WWE is terrified of having heels feuding with other heels.
Prediction: The Hardly Boys retain and I sigh
Intercontinental Championship with DQ Stipulation Match – Dean vs The Miz
Keri: This is the feud that never ends it goes on and on my friends. And like the Zayn and KO rivalry, I don’t really mind at all. I’m excited for this match and believe it could be a match of the night contender. Prediction: The Miz wins (and the Drifter interferes)
Kent: If Elias doesn’t interfere, I riot! I got Miz winning the belt. He deserves another run and Dean is a guy that never needs a belt to be effective, as long as he is appreciated and given a belt every once in awhile, or at least great feuds. Miz is a master at being a self important champ.
Prediction: Miz wins and this feud continues with Elias involved
Women’s Championship Kendo Stick on a Pole Match – Alexa Bliss vs Bayley
Keri: If Alexa loses, I riot. Period. End of story. Prediction: I think I was very clear in my first sentence.
Kent: If there’s no spanking with the kendo stick, we riot!!!! All of us. I don’t get this story. Bayley has been made to look like such a waste this past month. Aside from Samoa Joe and Apollo, has anybody else been booked as stupidly as Bayley? I think Nia needs to interfere, especially after the Twitter post. Prediction: Alexa wins after spanking Bayley’s ample ass with the kendo stick
6.The First Time Ever, Incredibly Historic, Never Before Seen Fatal Five Way Match for the right to face Brock Lesnar – Roman vs Seth vs Finn vs Bray vs Joe
Keri: So I have another question, how is this match historic and first time ever? WWE has had fatal five way matches before this one so what matches this one so special. Sigh. Now for my predictions. This match should be really good. There are some damn good guys in here. Will it be match of the night? That remains to be seen. Prediction: Only because the rumor mill says that Braun is due back by Summerslam and is slated to face Lesnar. I’m going to pick Reigns. I just have a gut feeling Brauns going to interfere once Reigns get his title shot and somehow pisses off Lesnar. And, you thought I was going to say Finn, didn’t ya?
Kent: I don’t get it. Samoa Joe is the HEAVY odds on favorite. In a situation like this, Vince doesn’t like to change his plans too far when dealing with somebody like Brock. It makes no sense to have Joe get this match, but it is a match that I want to see, and then WWE can say that Joe’s shit push was all worth it to get him to Brock. Which is all the more frustrating. Joe should be undefeated and killing everybody on the weekly. Unfortunately, WWE was so busy making Braun look good so that he could job to Roman and Brock, they held off on Joe’s badassery. Then to top it off, they have to make Elias into a good big man. Then if Cass turns heel, well that makes for 4 big guys who need to look bad ass, plus Bray. RAW never can book themselves properly. Basically everybody is going to get put over by the Big Show by year’s end.
Prediction: I guess it’s Samoa Joe, despite thinking that it would be Seth and Finn getting a double pin.
What match are you least looking forward to?
Keri: Probably the mixed tag.
Kent: Honestly, this isn’t a bad card. The build up sucks, but the card is good. I guess the Sasha match because of it being a mixed tag. I like everybody in it though.
What match are you most looking forward to?
Keri: The fatal five way. This one is the only one that is extremely difficult to predict. Each guy is deserving so it will be interesting to see who Creative actually selects to win it.
Kent: Dean vs Miz is at the top, but I hear that there’s an historic match, and quite frankly, if Joe is going to win it, I am pretty excited for it.
When they write the history book of 2017, will this fatal five way match end up in the book?
Keri: Potentially, it could be a match of the year candidate on the WWE scale (not the 9deuce scale). Also, still confused about what makes this so damn special.
Kent: Only if Joe wins. He’s the only guy without a proper main event run in WWE.
Will there be any additional matches added to the card?
Keri: Probably something Titus Brand related.
Kent: It seems likely that Truth and Goldust may happen, or something involving Titus, Apollo, Kalisto, and maybe some other random schmuck. Just reunite Lucha Dragons and give us another face tag team. GAWD. It’s not like Sin Cara is being used at all on SD.
Will we get anymore update on the Enzo situation?
Keri: Nope but we will see him laid out and unconscious again with Cass near by. Seriously, this who dun it is obvious. Am I the only one who sees it?
Kent: It doesn’t seem necessary and would feel a tad out of place during a PPV, so I am guessing no.
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