Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)

Oh no, not another horror film trying to capitalize on the lure of 3D.  Seriously, it’s a ridiculously long, and by and large, bad list of horror films.  To try to make sense of this one, you have to forget every sequel and remake.  This gets rid of all of that and is a direct follow up to the 1974 film.  Confused?  Yeah, I imagine so were many other people.  Then there is the questionable casting of Trey Songz.  He wasn’t a good pick and I know that horror has a fine lineage of hip hop stars in horror films, but he wasn’t very good.  It wasn’t even his fault, but they made his character pretty shitty with not much to work with, if we are being completely honest.  Scott Eastwood is a capable actor, but he wasn’t given much to work with either.  They did bring back Gunnar Hansen, Marilyn Burns, and Bill Moseley from the past, and that was a cool thing.  Anyway, let me do up a synopsis with some spoilers and then my final thoughts and rating.

 

SPOILERS

 

This movie starts with the town getting vengeance on the Sawyer clan and burn their farmhouse down.  This is led by Mayor Burt Hartman.  It very much reminds me of the shoot out at the beginning of Devil’s Rejects.  This was a fun start.  A lady has a baby, Edith Rose Sawyer, and she gets shot, so Gavin and Arlene take the baby in and treat it as their own,  So like 20 years later, we are in present day.  We meet our group of jackass young people: Heather (Alexandra Daddario), Ryan (Trey), Nikki, and Kenny.  On top of that, they pick up a hitchhiker….yes, for reals, and his name is Daryl (Scott Eastwood).  Heather finds out that she is adopted by the way and gets all pissy at her folks.  She meets up with the lawyer, Farnsworth, played by the great Richard Riehle.  Heather has inherited a house from her aunt Verna, and Farnsworth keeps telling her to read the letter that comes with it, but Heather is a dumbass.  Seriously, you get a free house, maybe you should read the fucking letter.  

Anyway, Daryl tries stealing while everybody else is out shopping for food and supplies.  Well Daryl gets got by Leatherface.  As you can imagine, people get systematically killed.  This time though, There’s Leatherface and Mayor Hartman who just has a hate on for the Sawyers.  This gets a tad convoluted along the way as Heather learns of her family history.  At the end, when all of her people are dead, the Mayor and his cronie are about to put Leatherface in a grinder, but Heather saves Leatherface’s life.  He is now her protector and they fuck up shit.  This part was a feel good moment, although you are left to sympathize with the murderous Sawyers…I think.  I don’t know anymore.  There was a good story here, but too much bullshit to be truly happy.  Then the tacky addition of 3D does make for a less memorable experience.

Also, there’s a great post credits scene where Heather’s parents come to try to cash in, and Heather ain’t having any of that so they meet Mr. Leatherface.

 

End Film

 

Final Thoughts – I loved how they tied this to the original.  I really enjoyed that aspect.  I didn’t need all of the filler.  I know that filler was needed.  Unfortunately, they tried to make the Sawyer’s sympathetic, and I am unsure if that was smart.  This isn’t Devil’s Rejects where we followed them on this story and journey.  Technically, the journey was the original and that isn’t gonna make you like them much.  I’d be thrilled if we don’t get a 3D horror film for another 10-20 years.  They almost always suck huge donkey dick.  If you want a different take on the story, which is what all of the modern films seem to be about, you could do worse.  Just know that the acting is lackluster after the opening house burning.

Rating: 5.1 Mainly because I want to watch this after the original to see if I get more from this perhaps.  I wish it did better with the group’s characters.  

Please check us out at the actual 9 Deuce website, on Facebook at facebook.com/9deuceblog , on Twitter @official9deuce, or Instagram at Official9Deuce.  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question at kent@9deuce.com.  Thank you.

For the month of October, if you see this logo, click on it to go see the updated list of my 100 Horror Movies In October Marathon.

 

All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:

Please go find a copy and support the creators.