#380 Asylum (1972)

This stars Peter Cushing and has a good rating, and is an anthology. This could be fun. It starts with the great song “A Night on Bald Mountain”, which is legendary.

So the plot is easy enough. A young psychiatrist comes to this asylum, and his test to qualify for the job is to interview patients to figure out which one is Dr. Starr. This will lead to our 4 tales. His name is Dr. Martin, and Dr. Rutherford is the one who makes the deal.

Our first patient is Bonnie, and she tells us “Frozen Fear”. We have Walter who is married to Ruth, and he wanted to get divorced a month ago to be with Bonnie. Ruth is learning voodoo shit and has some protective bracelet thing. Apparently Ruth is the wealthy one and will not allow him to divorce her. He tells her that he has a surprise for her downstairs, and it’s a freezer, and then a hit to the head to kill her. Good gift. He calls Bonnie and tells her to drag her ass over and they are to take the body with them and get rid of it on their way to the airport. This plan is foolproof. Well then he sees the head rolling around on the floor upstairs, but it’s not there then he goes downstairs and an arm from the freezer drags him in. Bonnie comes over and makes her way in. Bonnie finds Walter’s body in the freezer and goes to leave but the head is on the top of the stairs and now other body parts are coming to get her. The body parts antagonize her, and she ended up in the asylum because they claim that she strangled Walter. She is beautiful. AT the end, she tried chopping at the the hand grabbing her face, and she has bad scarring.

We meet Bruno next and his story, “The Weird Tailor”. This old couple are in desperate need of money to pay the rent. After being give a 5 day extension, a gentleman named Smith (Peter Cushing) comes in and want s a suit made. The material is very odd, changing colors. Bruno is given very specific instructions, most notably about times that he can work on it and to deliver it to Smith ASAP. Well, when he delivers it, Smith doesn’t have the money and the suit is to resurrect his dead son. Smith and Bruno have a fight over a gun and Bruno accidentally shoots Smith and kills him. Back at the store, Bruno’s wife, Anna, puts the suit on a mannequin and it comes to life and presumably harms or kills his wife.

After that, we meet Barbara who tells us “Lucy Comes To Stay”. Barbara is pretty as well.  George brings his sister, Barbara home from the hospital, and she doesn’t seem right in the head, and he has hired a nurse, Miss Higgins, and Barbara is worried about somebody named Lucy.  Higgins sedates Barbara then gets a call then her mom has been in an accident, so George drives her to the train station and Barbara is up and looking for pills.  She turns around and sees Lucy sitting there, and she is a looker as well.  Lucy reveals that if something happens to Barb, he would most likely inherit the house that their dad left her, if he puts her back in the hospital. Lucy has drugged George’s tea, and Miss Higgins should be on her way back tonight. Lucy has snagged the car keys, now it’s time for them to bail.  Lucy cuts the phone cord while Barb gets dressed.  I fail to see how running away helps her keep the house. I mean, I get it, Lucy isn’t real, but the logic is flawed. Lucy is pissed at Barb for taking pills.  Lucy says that she’s leaving and throws the pills at Barb and leaves. Miss Higgins shows up and her and Barb look for George and find him stabbed by scissors, and Higgins can’t call for help. Higgins goes up to check on Barb and gets stabbed in the chest by Lucy. Needless to say, that’s why Barb is in there.

We now get to meet Byron, Dr. Byron, and he is going to tell us “Mannikins of Horror”. Bryron has toys with human like heads, that he claims have brains in them. He shows Martin his newest creation, one with Byron’s head on it, which he can put his subconscious in. Well, Byron gets all pissy so they leave and Martin is ready to make his pick to Rutherford. Rutherford wants to do a pre-frontal lobotomy on Byron, and Byron has just made his toy move. The toy has made it past the orderly and is trying to make his way to Rutherford. Martin says that he’s leaving to go to London and he’s pissed at how the patients are treated here. The toy grabs a scalpel and stabs Rutherford in the back of the head. Martin is pissed and stomps on the toy, but there is like blood and organs and Byron reacts as if he was in pain.  Byron’s body has supposedly been crushed. We then find out the answer, and it’s well done.

Rating – 6.8 seems fair because I had an overall great time with this one. The ending was spot on. Yes, the toy aspect was cheesy, but it was supposed to be. I really liked this one.

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#379 Don’t Look In The Basement (1973)

This takes at a psychiatric hospital, and is avail on Amazon Prime Videos.

We meet Nurse Janey who wants to leave because Harriet threatens to kill her if anybody touches her “baby” which is fake. Sam is the kind hearted black dude, very gentle. There’s a guy named Sarge who thinks that he’s in the military. Then there’s Dr. Stephens and Judge. The doctor is trying to do some therapy with Judge by using an axe to chop a log. Well Janey approaches Stephens, and Judge gets carried away and buries an axe in Stephens. Somebody takes Harriet’s baby and puts it in Janey’s room as she is packing up to leave, and Harriet goes off on her and probably kills her. There, the story is set up for you, and we have some hot chick who is probably going to be our main protagonist. I am guessing that it was the other nurse or doctor that showed up during the Judge scene, that took the baby. The new chick is Charlotte Beale and meets Dr. Geraldine Masters. She is an RA in psychiatric something something, and Dr. Stephens had hired her prior to his death. Masters is a bitch, and she is taking over, making changes, and is not wanting Charlotte around. The girl playing Charlotte, Rosie Holotik, was on the cover of Playboy back in 1972. Neat. Masters is going to keep Charlotte around.

Allyson just hit on Judge, showed him her tits, and he called her a harlot and a slut. Good for him. This movie develops really nicely and never gets dull really. Well done effort by everybody. This is another fine example of quality 70’s horror that people my age or younger haven’t really seen much of by and large.

Ratng – 5.9 I look forward to watching this again and maybe reconsider the rating and bump it up to the 6’s.

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#378 Don’t Go In The House (1981)

This is one of Quentin Tarantino’s favorite films, so why not give it a shot. If you have Amazon Prime, you can watch this free.

The story is focused around Donny, who has some problems. As a kid, his mom insisted on burning the evil out of him, so she held his arms out over the stove burners and scarred him really bad. In present day, his mom is dead. At first I was guessing that we would have a Psycho rip off, but it isn’t, and that’s a good thing. We learn more about the voices that talk to him. Donnie likes to bring chicks back to his house and burning them alive so they can meet his mom. This a very fun movie.

With that being said, some view this as sexist garbage. We call these people pussies, troglodytes, and mongoloids. It’s horror. Women always get subjected to bad shit and one somehow triumphs in the end. Deal with it or watch a different type of film. I had a great time with this one.

Rating – 5.8 as it is definitely re-watchable, but I may only watch it 2-3 times in totality, still overall solid experience.

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#374 Frankenhooker (1990)

This is one of Bill Murray’s favorite films. I can see why.

Here’s the basic plot. Jeffrey and Elizabeth are in love and I think they are just boyfriend and girlfriend, but could be fiancees. Anyway, it’s Elizabeth’s dad’s birthday, and she gives him this sweet lawnmower that is radio controlled, and she fucks up and it runs her over and kills her. Fortunately, Jeffrey is a hell of a scientist and electrician, so he saves some of  her body parts, notably her brain, in hopes of bringing her back to life. He makes some ridiculously power crack, the drug, and hires hookers so he can find the perfect body parts. Well, there’s like 7 girls, and they find the crack and they party, lots of nudity here, and then they start to explode. Jeffrey then brings Elizabeth back to life, only she has purple nipples. Then more chaos ensues. I mean, if you’re reading my blog, this probably sounds like your type of movie, right?

Rating – 5.9 because I simply can’t give this a 6, but god damn, between this and Chopping Mall, awesome!

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#356 Night of the Living Dead (1968)

A classic that I watch yearly. My buddy Tom had never seen it, so I showed it to him. It’s always going to hold the test of time for me I think. I am going to quote what I wrote 3 years ago, and attempt to fix a few things.

For the most part, this is what a lot of people consider the grand daddy of them all for zombie flicks. This movie is still damn fun to watch.

“They’re coming for you Barbara.” God, that is some classic awesomeness. Johnny scaring Barbara always puts me in a good mood. Barbara is a panic driven dumbass, but that’s what makes a solid horror flick sometimes. And a black dude just pushed white Barbara into the house where they shall stay. The black dude is Ben, and it is a DAMN shame he didn’t have a bigger career. He is awesome in this, and one of the best leads in horror history I feel. Ben always seems to be thinking on how to improve their situation and to not dick around. He is a thinker and a do’er.  He’s a fucking hoss.

I like the pissed off white dude that looks kinda like Rob Cordry. I think his name is Harry. He just wants to do things his own pissed off way. By and large, people try working together, although Barbara is absolutely useless.  Loved Ben smacking that bitch down. How did black folk get so stereotyped in horror despite this amazing character? I am inspired to make a horror movie with a good black lead character.  The one chick looks pretty, not Barbara, I think it is Judy. She is very sleazy on the eyes.

Harry tossing out some Molotov’s is a pretty sweet sight to behold. Ben and Tom are gonna make a drive for it to get some gas. Stupid bitch Judy, decides that she is now going with the guys, stupid women in movies. My god. And it’s not like they make them dumb. This is just a thing that so many women in stressful situations are not good with going with the flow. It’s true. But Kent, why you gotta be all sexist? My response is simple. Get in the kitchen and make me cornbread.

Tom is a dumbass, gets gas all over the truck. Him and Judy just exploded. Ben is a man outside all alone and pretty fucked. Go Ben GO!!!! He’s got his torch and his shotgun. Dude is a survivor. He made it back to the house somehow, and Harry doesn’t let him in. Hoss kicks in the door. They seal up the door and now Ben is beating the fuck outta Harry. He is a fucking HOSS! Is it any wonder this movie has a 7.9 on IMDB?

I really love the periodic news updates as well. It makes it seem more realistic.

Harry was waiting for Ben to drop the gun. Ben has to prevent the horde. Harry makes some demands, Ben says fuck you honky, and hits him with some wood, wrestles the gun away and pops a cap in Harry’s ass. Is Ben the all time greatest horror protagonist of all time? He’s right there with Ash, and Carrie. The bitches are getting attacked. The zombified girl in the basement just started eating Harry. Sweet. Zombie girl stabs up Helen, who was Harry’s bitch. Not sure why a zombie is doing that much work, but I ain’t questioning it.

The house is getting over run. Barbara just got taken by zombie Johnny. Little girl just tried biting Ben, but he’s like, fuck naw. Ben goes to the basement, the zombies are still coming. Shit is getting REAL son. Harry is rising up as a zombie. Ben just unleashed 3 more shots in him. Not wise, but understandable.

I want Tarantino to make a zombie movie with this cast. Samuel L Jackson, Christoph Waltz, Christopher Walken, George Clooney, Jaime Foxx, Havey Keitel, Bill Paxton, Johnny Galecki, Jeremy Sisto, and Steve Buscemi. The plot is a bachelor party, zombie apocalypse breaks out. You mean to tell me that you wouldn’t watch this movie?

Now the ending here, it’s morning, the posse of guys are shooting all the zombies. Ben is relieved, he comes out of hiding. A guy spots Ben in the house. The guy is told to take aim and fire. And Ben just got a bullet in his bubblegoose. Sooo sad. Let’s pour one out for our dead homey. Booo.

Rating –  8.7 from me. The ending although necessary for the point Romero was trying to prove I suppose, still leave me pissed.

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#311 Bone Tomahawk (2015)

I came across this on Amazon Prime, loved it, and it has a great cast.

Start Film

We start off with Purvis (David Arquette) and Buddy (Sid Haig), and they are killing people and stealing from them out in some mountainous area. Purvis is not great at killing, but Buddy is the old sage. Unfortunately for them, they hear a horse in the distance, so they take off to go into hiding. Purvis is skeptical of where they are heading, but they are hearing stuff from various directions, and come across a burial ground, probably for Indians. Purvis is scared, but this seems like the best play. They hear movement, and then Buddy gets an arrow to the throat. Purvis takes off as a being is attacking Buddy. Purvis accidentally knocks over a skull.

Welcome to the town of Bright Hope. We meet Arthur (Patrick Wilson) who has a busted leg and is injured for the next 12 weeks. His woman, Samantha is clearly irritating him, she’s trying to be optimistic, but he’s frustrated. We see Purvis busying what he stole. We meet Brooder (Matthew Fox) in the old saloon. There’s an old dude who plays piano for some drinks. He’s a solid drunk.

We meet Sheriff Hunt (Kurt Russell) and Chicory (Richard Jenkins), and Sheriff is going to feed his backup deputy some hot soup. Chicory tells him about seeing a guy while he was out on a ramble, and he didn’t recognize him. He noticed that this stranger, Purvis, was burying something in the ground. Time to go meet our stranger. Samantha and Arthur are having some sex, and my goodness, she is a treat. She was riding him, but he wants to do this the right way, with him on top. Hunt and chicory find Purvis in the bar, and he is claiming that his name is Buddy. Hunt is interrogating him, and Purvis is acting awfully suspicious. So he asks about the hole, and Purvis tries to run, so Hunt shoots him in the foot, and he needs medical attention. Sam and Arthur are working on cleaning his busted leg. Brooder shows up to get Sam as she’s the next best thing to Doc Taylor, who is drunk. Nick is another deputy, and he is good at checkers. OK, I feel that we have met most of our main characters. Purvis has a fever, so Sam and Nick will stay the night to monitor him.

A black dude hears a ruckus out in the stables, checks on it, gets his throat slit and a spear through the head. Good bye Buford.

buford

There’s Lorna, the Sheriff’s wife. She’s making food, and Clarence tells Sheriff of what he found, and he said nobody was at the jail. They inspect the barn, Buford is still there. They check the jail, and there is an arrow, so they fear Indian abduction. Hunt tells Arthur, and Arthur is pissed and they meet up at the Learned Goat.  They have an Indian who has an idea of who it is, and he is afraid of them, these troglodytes.  Hunt asks why they didn’t eat Buford, and Chicory asks if it’s because they think black people are poisonous. Sheriff, Arthur, Chicory, and Brooder are gonna mount up to this terrible territory and try to get back Nick and Samantha. There are a lot of witty one lines, mainly by Chicory. Lorna is giving Sheriff some guff on him leaving. Oh, his name is Franklin Hunt. Yay, a first name. Chicory puts some flowers on his wive’s grave, and he’s not sure if he will make it back. And off the 4 men go.

Brooder is setting up defenses, and a line of bells. Brooder is bragging about how smart he is for having never been married. Brooder is a cocky dick, and my favorite character. Him and Chicory. Chicory is telling Sheriff that he has a hard time reading a book in the tub because he always gets the pages or book wet. Brooder just shot an animal that set off a bell, because he is one fast hombre. Arthur took off his boot and it was actually agonizing to watch. Watching him apply the alcohol to his broken leg is agony. Sheriff wants Arthur’s opium, and he don’t wish to yield it, but he begrudgingly does. Sheriff is worried about the infection turning into gang green.  At night, a guy shows up and scares our group. So there is a showdown. Sheriff is having them step closer, but Brooder just shoots them down. Brooder thinks that they were scouts, and they should move to a different camp for a defensive position.  So they move along at night. Chicory is pissed at Brooder for shooting the Mexicans, mainly because one was wearing a crucifix.

They got sneak attacked, and Arthur gets the kill on one, but Brooder’s horse got killed because she was smart and loyal to him. Brooder has to go put her down. So they no longer have horses. They will have to continue this on foot, which is going to be tough. Arthur is not going to get much sleep trying to stay on pace. They pass him during the day, and they will leave a pile of 4 rocks every so often as a trail. Arthur makes it to camp. They rest, they wake up, Brooder makes a comment with some innuendo behind it, so he gets punched by Arthur. Arthur’s leg  is fucked. They gotta do work on it. Chicory sets the leg with a hammer, and he’s knocked out between the pain and opium. At night, they hear some noises, like a howling or horn. I also love Chicory’s line “It is the official opinion of the back up deputy” and then something ridiculous. Brooder’s mom and sister were killed by Indians, and that is why he hates Indians. “Deputy, is it possible for you to close that aperture?”

It’s daytime, and time to monitor with the German (like a looking glass). They are following some tracks now. They go under this overpass, and hear the noise more. There’s this path with some tight fits and an overpass every now and again. Brooder is going to investigate, and he’s not back in 30 seconds, the fellas are to retreat. Sheriff has the pocket watch out and hear the howl. They got the signal that it is clear to move up a bit. Suddenly, all are attacked by arrows. Chicory got nicked in the head, but they killed 2 or 3 of these dust or ash covered attackers.  Brooder is  fucking doe.  Sheriff got an arrow lodged in his left bicep.  Brooder wants the dynamite and lit cigar, as he won’t live as a cripple. Brooder is under attack, now it 4 on 2 with Sheriff and Chicory against the savages.  This is some messed up shit. They put this horn or a bone in Sheriff’s mouth and then knocked him out.  Brooder is dead, and our guys are getting dragged via rope up to the cave. These savages have a way to make this weird noise from their throat.

They make it in the cave and there’s Samantha. Nick is unconscious. They are restrained behind these primitive bars. Chicory and Sheriff are in one cell. Uh oh, they are taking Nick out of his cell, and there’s 2 of them. They take off his clothes, and there’s lots of man ass. Sheriff and Chicory are trying to break out, and they chopped off a finger or 2 from Sheriff’s hand. Nick is awake and tells him about Purvis. Nick asks Sheriff to take care of his stuff.  They scalped Nick, shoved that in his mouth, and held him up by his legs and chopped him right now the middle. Very graphic.

Chicory asks if there is any truth to the Sheriff telling Nick that there would be a cavalry, but it’s not true. Sam asks about Arthur’s condition. They tell her about the trail. She says that this is why frontier life is so hard, because the guys are idiots, including Arthur. There are at least 12 males, and 2 pregnant females who are blind.  The plan is to poison them with opium. Alright. Arthur is awake and delusional.  He’s having a bad time making his way. He is praying for some help as he’s crawling at this point. He has run out of water.

sheriff-and-chicory-behind-bars

They entice the savages with the beverage and he pounds that shit. Well, now he will share. Sam is still being all pissy, that even if with the 3 dead, plus 2 more from opium, that’s still seven. 2 attack Arthur as he’s sleeping and he kills them. Arthur inspects one of them that he killed, and looks at the throat, where they have the weird thing that allows them to make the sounds. Arthur now owns it basically. He makes it to the spot where Sheriff and Chicory got abducted. He’s smart enough to take a different path. He uses the whistle thing and gets one to approach really fast, and he guns him down. Nobody is coming despite all the gun shots?

Sheriff is encouraging Sam to eat some of the bird that they gave her. Chicory tells them a story about some flea circus, and Chicory was so entertained. He thought it was real. He believes those fleas are alive and talented. Sam says that they were legit fleas just to put a smile on his face. She stopped being a bitch for a moment. How nice. Now the primal call again. They dragged in their dead. They remove 2 bars from Sheriff’s cage, and he comes out fighting and knock  him to the ground. Chicory tries to help but to no avail. They cut open Sheriff’s belly and put the flaming hot flask in the wound. They then shoot his hand. Next he tries to shoot him in the dock, but doesn’t know how to reload. Outside, we hear that Arthur is shooting fools. The savage reloads and shoots Sheriff in the torso. Sheriff chops off part of the savage’s foot.  and then kills him, but put up a hell of a fight.  Arthur checks on his wife, and Sheriff is dying, but Chicory is OK at least. He tells them to go out the way they came and to get his rifle. Sam thanks him. Chicory looks so lost and sad. Sheriff asks him to say goodbye to his wife, and he will say hello to Chicory’s.

They go to make their escape and come across the blinded pregnant women. Poor women, they looked like they were in such a bad state. Arthur, Samantha, and Chicory go past the original burial ground and they make their way back home. She’s so uptight that she won’t kiss Arthur because of the mouthpiece until he washes his mouth. We hear 2 more gunshots, and they walk away.

End Film

Final Thoughts – This movie simply has so many interesting elements. At it’s heart, it’s a western. There are also 10-20 great one liners that will make you laugh. There’s also some serious violence and gore. So it accomplishes being all of these things, in a brilliant way. I thought Richard Jenkins and Matthew Fox stole the show. Kurt Russell was also amazing as was Sid Haig and Arquette in their smaller roles. The one character that I never got 100% behind was Arthur. I wanted to like him more, and I understood his motivation and all of that, but he was just missing something. Brooder was by far my favorite character. The setting, the visuals, everything is here for a very enjoyable experience, even if you don’t like westerns.

Rating – 7.2 Lots to love here. The ending….that’s the weakest part, but because it’s the ending, it can’t reach 8.0 territory.

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