#106 Inside (2007)

Yup, let’s do another French horror flick because I’m sadly wide awake. Damn nap!!! I know the basic premise of this plot. I’ll start you off with that because at least I won’t feel like I’m giving away spoilers during the film.

This French chick is pregnant, and she gets home invaded by some crazy broad who wants her unborn baby. And the gore level is supposedly astronomical. That’s all I know. I have to lower my expectations because I haven’t seen hardly any bad movies yet this October, and Martyrs was utterly brilliant. And yes, I plan on tackling Frontiere, Calvaire, and maybe a couple other French films. I see that I only reviewed The Strangers last year and not ILS which was the originator of that story, and really fucking good. Hell, I may get back into Asian Horror while I’m at it.

I am loving these French films because I understand a few phrases here and there without having to read the subtitles. I used to be adequate in French for the amount if time I spent learning it.

So 15 minutes in, and god this is boring. Whatever hype and happiness I had an hour ago has vanished. We know this, her husband/boyfriend/lover and her were in a car accident and he got killed. She is very pregnant. Her friend Louise seems to want to help her out, but this lady keeps saying no. She’s now home alone, having fucked up dreams, and somebody is at the door. It’s apparently Christmas Eve. The person at the door is using the old “my car broke down” angle to try to use the phone. When rejected, the person calls Sarah (pregnant lady) out for lying about her husband being home and sleeping.

I need some Count Chocula. I hope this isn’t some bullshit “scare jump” movie. Those are dumb. Cereal is an underrated form of food, just saying. I wish I had some rice krispie treats now. I’m clearly hungry.

Oh hey, the cops showed up. She called them. Something must happen with the cops in order to make them a non issue with this home invasion.”Don’t worry. She won’t be back around tonight.” That’s a solid cop answer. HAHAHA, oh man, the follow up scene is awesome. At this point, I would be calling somebody so I wasn’t alone at night. And I’m not a 9 month pregnant chick. it’d either be that, or I’d get my jigsaw mask and hope to creep a mother fucker out.

OK, so the woman is in, and the violence has started. Hopefully this momentum can snowball into something fantastic.And the blood has started to flow. OK, you’ve got my attention now Inside. Some of the sound effects are lame, I have to point that out. It doesn’t work for me. Wow, so everytime a stabbing occurs, we gotta hear that awful sound?? I hope not or else I will Sixth Sense the hell out of this film. I’m officially on the fence about this movie at the moment. I’m beyond the halfway point so I’m not gonna stop now. This isn’t All Cheerleaders Must Die bad.

I am sitting here wondering, how does one come to the rational conclusion of “Hey, I’m gonna break into this lady’s house. Then I’m gonna cut the baby out of her. Then I’m gonna live a normal life.”? On the grand scale of plans, this is right up there with whoever greenlit  Adam Sandler’s “Jack and Jill”. Yeah, he somehow has a 3 or 4 picture deal with Netflix now. I guess that makes me happy because maybe I won’t have to see commercials for Grown ups 3. OK, OK, back to the film.

Wow, the cops have not done a very good job. And this whole stuff with hiding in the bathroom, this just feels like a game to me. Like really bitch, you couldn’t break into the fucking bathroom? You can do all of this other shit, act like a ninja, but you can’t get past a simple locked bathroom door?

This is turning into one of my biggest pleasures in horror, a series of bad decisions. It’s not “Let’s run upstairs and hide in a closet or under the bed” stupid, but it’s solid. Sarah just made a makeshift sword. I am pleased, and there was a makeshift flame thrower. There was a little bit of bloodshed. Man……it got really fucking bloody.  And now it’s over.

My final thoughts are this. It’s a very, very gory film, like one of the goriest I have ever seen. Do not think this is torture porn, as it’s not. This has a good story, you just have to wait and be patient.  It is illogical at times, but one can always argue that under that duress, you wouldn’t be thinking clearly either. I liked it. I’m not in love with it. I am going to give it a 6. It’s nowhere near as great as Martyrs, but this is one worth watching if you can stomach the gore, and have some patience, and can handle subtitles.

I don’t own the rights to this picture or film. It’s from the film, so they are the owners, not me.

T & A Totals didn’t change at all sadly.

13 Bare breasts

2 bare asses

2 concealed breasts

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#84 The Devil’s Rejects (2005)

This movie is almost universally hailed as a better and more likeable film than it’s predecessor, House of 1,000 Corpses. I’m hard pressed to argue it as this is a fucking great movie. It’s a movie that sucks you in. Even if it is background noise, I defy you to not find yourself gawking at this movie for minutes on end. I defy you not to get pumped when the words “Tuity fucking fruity” is uttered. The first time you realize that the tall goofy comedian (Brian Posehn) is in this and it feels right. Now you may watch it and suddenly recognize that Axel from the Walking Dead is in this. You may get a little mahogany in your pants when you hear Danny Trejo for the first time or realize that his sidekick is none other former WCW wrestler with the self high five, DDP. Or how do you ignore the guy going off on Elvis in defense of Groucho Marx? The shootout at the beginning. Sheriff Wydell being a fucking hoss all movie, he steals the movie oftentimes.

And of course I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the 3 main stars of this. Captain Spaulding stealing the car and fucking with the kid. Hell the opening Captain Spaulding scene! Sherri Moon being a crazy, sexy, cool bitch, flirting with Roy, making the bitch hit the other bitch, and that ass. Of course I saved the best for last, my man Otis. I am gonna make a wrestling reference here, and I do apologize. Otis is the epitome of an old school heel who gets his heat by being a bastard, and is never concerned with being cool or likeable. The other 2 have their fans for various reasons, and that shit is cool. Otis is just a bad ass mother fucker, and he never lowers his character’s philosophy for a quick joke or cheap pop. To make another analogy, more suited for you horror fans. Otis is Freddy Krueger in 1, 2, and New Nightmare. Baby is him in part 3 and 4. Spaulding is 5 and Freddy’s dead. Yeah, that analogy felt more cathartic.

The other 2 things that need to be brought up is the storyline here is significantly tighter which made for better character development. This is key to the improvement between films. The other thing that is often overlooked is the music. What a great soundtrack! Midnight Rider, Funk No 49, Rocky Mountain Way, and of course fucking Freebird. How many horror movies, hell movies in general end on such an epic feel? Admit it, you was cheering on the bad guys despite knowing they had no chance, but you still pulled for them.

I realize as I talk about this, it is better than House. It just is. Rating? 8.0, possibly higher. It’s THAT fucking good.

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#1 House of 1,000 Corpses (2003)

Originally posted October 3, 2013

So here’s the deal, I just watched House of 1,000 Corpses and Devil’s Rejects like 2 weeks ago thanks to IFC having it on a Saturday night when I am bored as all hell. So I removed the films from the calendar. Then sure enough, Monday night, Tuesday morning for you pretentious bastards, I found myself flipping through “the guide” and saw this was on. It was fate, so I obliged.

Now let me start off by saying that the hype behind this movie was unreal, like to the point where it couldn’t live up to everybody’s expectations. Here you have Rob Zombie making some bad ass violent flick and all sorts of rumors and hullabaloo. Then people watched it and was disappointed. Then the critics unleashed hell upon it. Too many morons calling it a Texas Chainsaw massacre rip off because they have only ever seen the giants of the genre and never explored deeper. Yeah, there are similarities, but that’s like saying Child’s Play and Leprechaun are the same movie because the lead characters are midgets. Chucky was a midget right…..? Anyway, aside from the haters, the lazy reviews, and people who just don’t like gore, you are left with a decent group of followers that enjoyed the movie. I am one of them. And by now, a quarter of the readers are done and have lost hope in me.

So here are are perks of this movie. 1. Dwight Schrute from The Office is in this. 2. Chris Hardwick (a tad chubbier than he is today) from Talking Dead, Talking Bad, and Singled Out fame is in this. 3. The chicks are nice to look at and a nice amount of tits. And don’t give me some sexism bullshit. Horror doesn’t necessarily have to have tits, but anything in the slasher genre really should. 4. Lots of gore which can be fun in the right movie, and this type of movie fits the bill.

5. The bad guys, the villains, the crazy family that kills up everybody. NOW this is the heart and soul of this movie. Granted, the characters are somewhat shallow and in the sequel, the main ones get more fleshed out, but this was a good start. A little bit of character goes a long way in the first of a series. I love Sherri Moon, she’s not bad to look at and plays her part well. Sid Haig as Captain Spaulding is borderline iconic, and may make for a fine tattoo. Karen Black is fine as Mother Firefly. I would be remiss not to give props to Matthew McGrory as Tiny as he always seemed like an awesome dude. As a matter of fact, Devil’s Rejects was dedicated to his memory. Dr Satan was just there and kind of disappointing after all the hype. 2 characters though were head and shoulders above the rest. Grandpa Hugo played by Dennis Fimple was absolutely hilarious in his short time on screen. The MVP though for me was Bill Moseley who played Otis. Otis may not have had the most lines, or any funny one liners, but he was the most violent and artistic, and sadistic, and I always felt he never gets the props he deserves. Walton Goggins is also in this in a small but memorable scene that people either loved or hated, depending on how you feel about waiting for like 20 seconds in like dead silence and no movement before the gun goes off. I personally found it masterful.

Was this the best, end all, be all movie of it’s genre? Hell no. Did it have great characters, a decent enough plot, and some good deaths? Hell yes. If you go in over hyping it, you will walk away disappointed. Me personally, I give it a 7.5 and consider it a fine way to start the month.

All pictures are used for review purposes only. They are the property of Lions Gate Films, Universal Pictures, Spectacle Entertainment Group, and Rob Zombie.  Go buy this film!

House of 1,000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects 9 Deuce Horror Discussion

Yes, we are finally tackling this franchise!  Most of us here are quite excited about this one.  I say most of us as one of our contributors was not a fan of House, to say the very least.  That’s not a bad thing though because it’s more fun to have some disagreement.  If you find yourself agreeing with most of us, or if you think Chris has some valid points, leave us a comment.  Any comments in bold will be made by Kent.

You can find us at the actual 9 Deuce website OR please check us out at 9 Deuce Horror on Facebook , on Twitter @official9deuce, or Instagram at Official9Deuce or Tumblr @ http://superkent92.tumblr.com/.  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question at kent@9deuce.com.  Thank you.

  1.  Let’s start off with an easy one.  Who was your favorite character in House of 1,000 Corpses?  Who is you favorite in Devil’s Rejects?

Kristi: Captain Fucking Spaulding in both films. I do like Otis more in Devils than in House but Captain Spaulding is the man, or clown, if you will.

Chris:  Doctor Satan. He looks like the prototype for one of the bad guys in a video game called Outlast. Rondo in DR, Danny Trejo is a badass

Teddy: I like Baby the most, but that’s because she is hot lmao

Cece: Captain Spaulding for sure. I also love Otis. For both.

Kent:  Baby won me over in House.  She simply was evil and sexy at the same time.  Captain Spaulding probably comes in at #2 followed by Grandpa Hugo.  As for Devil’s Rejects, it’s Captain Spaulding, but Otis is a very close 2nd and Sheriff Wydell was also pretty fucking good.  This line from him always cracks me up.  “Son, if you ever say another derogatory word about Elvis Aron Presley in my presence again, I will kick the living shit out of you!”


  1.  Name your favorite death from each film.

Kristi: House- Mother Firefly shooting the cop in the neck. It’s just a nice clean kill.
Devil’s- Gloria. I know it’s obvious that Baby will kill her but it’s just unexpected and a straight shot to the heart.

Chris:  Nash in House. The amount of time they make you wait with Walton Goggins on his knees is one of the only suspenseful parts of the movie. Wendy in DR, they did a good job with the aftereffects of a truck hitting a person like that

Teddy: Fish boy from house, and probably the I am the devil scene in the desert with Otis

Cece: House- I love Fish Boy. Rejects- probably the end scene.

Kent:  Walton Goggins in the first one, just how it was filmed.  I know that it was a bit controversial, but it really sticks with you.  As for DR, the final shot.  Something about long drawn out deaths seem to work for me.  Plus Freebird kicks ass.


  1.  Did you consider House a rip off of Texas Chainsaw Massacre or more of a TCM for a new generation?

Kristi:  I do not consider it a rip off at all. I think Rob did his own thing. He is a fan of all things horror so I think perhaps he had it in his mind but I really think he created this out of his own mind.

Chris:  RZ had no fucking clue what he was doing with House and it shows. He was definitely more coherent in The Devil’s Rejects and it shows. House tried to riff off of TCM amongst other horror movies, and failed miserably

Teddy: I mean that’s like saying the hills have eyes is a TCM inspired film. I feel like they’re their own thing.

Cece: I consider it more of an homage if anything. I love the TCM elements involved!

Kent:  I definitely think it was an hommage.  For fuck’s sake though, the ending was a tad bit of a rip off if we are going to be honest here.  With that being said,I think it inspired people to go back and rewatch TCM and that’s a good thing.


  1.  Would you have any interest in a prequel to these films?

Kristi:  Abso-fucking-lutely!!!

Chris:  No. Unless they got someone other than Rob Zombie and Sheri Moon to do them

Teddy: Nah prequels about horror movies never work out. Just listen to the songs plenty of a backstory there.

Cece: Hell yeah!

Kent:  There is a part of me that would love more history behind the family, especially Dr Satan.  But no, I don’t want a prequel.  Prequels almost always require a whole different group of actors because they are younger.  It sets up highly unrealistic expectations from fans, and it simply doesn’t work out nearly as often as it fails.  As much as I would love more from them, this is a case where I want to leave greatness as is without expanding beyond the story told.


  1.  Give me your thoughts on Dr Satan in House of 1,000 Corpses.

Kristi:  He is a sadistic fuck. I don’t think there is much more to say.

Chris:  I read in an interview once that Rob Zombie is hard to interview because he is so stoned he doesn’t think or speak coherently. The paper cut I got from the magazine I read that interview in gave me more enjoyment than watching House of 1000 Corpses. Who cares

Teddy: TBH they put soooo much hype around him just for him to barely be in the movie…also where the fuck did he go after House?? Like makes no sense

Cece: DOCTA SATAN!!!! Honestly, kinda cool. I wish they’d go more into his story.

Kent:  All hype with very little substance.  He seemed cool, and I wanted to know way more.  Instead it was the horror version of a cock tease.  The character is one of the biggest issues I have with this film.  All of this hype and you finally get a taste, but it feels so empty when they deliver him.  It saddens me because I wanted it to be cooler.


  1.  Who do you “cheer on” by the end of Devil’s Rejects: the cops or the killers?

Kristi:  The killers. Mostly because I wanted to see another sequel.

Chris:  If you feel bad for the killers it might be time to start upping your meds. Also let me know when you’re in Florida so I can hide my family. 

Teddy: The cops, despite Sherry Moon Zombie being hot like they were still fucked up killers, so no pity there.

Cece: Honestly, it’s like the almost make you feel bad for the Firefly family…

Kent:  The killers, obviously.  It’s a simple matter of getting to know their personalities over knowing very little about those officers.  It’s that simple.  If we had gotten to know both equally well, maybe it would be different.  With that being said, I tend to side with the killers in these films anyway, so what can I say?  Plus, by the end, you want another sequel really badly.


  1.  Give me a favorite line from one or both films.  They are loaded.  Yes, we all love Tuitu fucking fruiti, so give me another gem.  Captain Spaulding alone has plenty of them.

Kristi: House- Fuck yo Momma, Fuck yo sister, Fuck yo Grandma, but most off all Fuck You!! Lets face it. That entire scene is fantastic!  (This was going to be my answer.)

Devils-I’m gonna have to be taking your car today. See I have some top secret clown business that supersedes any plans that you might have for this here vehicle.

Chris:  “I’m not calling you a chicken fucker, but that boy over there looks sexually frustrated, and I don’t approve of chicken fucking.”

Teddy: “There is no fucking ice cream in your fucking future” and “if you don’t got a reason you hate clowns I will kill your whole family”

Cece: House- Not really a line spoken, but I love Spaulding’s shirt, ‘If I wanted to hear an asshole, I’d fart’
Rejects- ‘The next thing out of your mouth better be some fuckin’ Mark Twain shit…’

Kent:  House – Otis: [ranting to tied up cheerleaders] “Why”, you ask? “Why” is not the question. How? Now, that is a question worth examining. How could I, being born of such, uh… conventional stock, arrive a leader of the rebellion? An escapist from a conformist world, destined to find happiness only in that which cannot be explained? I brought you here for a reason, but unfortunately you and your sentimental minds are doing me no good! My brain is frozen. Locked! I have to break free from this culture of mechanical reproductions and the thick encrustations dying on the surface!

[sees the girls aren’t understanding]

Otis: Oh, Christ. Fuck it!

More quotes are here:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0251736/trivia?tab=qt&ref_=tt_trv_qu

Devil’s Rejects – Candy: What you lookin’ at?
Otis B. Driftwood: I’m lookin’ at you, mama.
Candy: Yeah, you see something you like?
Otis B. Driftwood: Maybe. I set my standards pretty low, so I’m never disappointed.
Candy: Oh, well I don’t disappoint.

Otis B. Driftwood: You had to come all fuckin’ big stick, walkin’ tall, like a big fuckin’ hero. Got yourself to blame, hero. Look at you now, hero, you’re gonna fuckin’ bleed to death!

Baby: Just in case anyone’s interested, I think I’m gonna be wanting some ice cream in about 10 miles.
Otis: [in a mocking tone] “I think I’m gonna be wanting some ice cream in about 10 miles.”
Baby: Don’t you fucking imitate me, it’s fucking rude!
Baby: “I know what I know and I know I don’t like that nut sack… ”
Otis: Fuck you.
Baby: Fuck you!
Captain J.T. Spaulding: Two fucking seconds for the kid, is that gonna kill you?
Otis: Yes, it is going to kill me! I have calculated the time, and two seconds is the exact amount of time that is a hazard to my fucking health.
Baby: What the fuck is your problem? I’m in and out in two seconds!
Captain J.T. Spaulding: You know? I think I’m gonna get me some tutti fucking fruity.
Baby: Tutti fucking fruity, that sounds good!

More Quotes here:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0395584/trivia?tab=qt&ref_=tt_trv_qu


  1.  Which actress playing Mother Firefly did you prefer: Karen Black in House or Leslie Easterbrook in Devil’s?

Kristi:  Karen Black!

Chris:  Karen Black. She made M.F. crazy instead of just slutty

Teddy: I have no preference, but the lady in devil’s was a hoe lmao

Cece: Karen Black, for sure!

Kent:  Much like everybody else, Karen Black is the preference, but I am left wondering, If you switch what film they were in, would we change our tune?  Was it the actress so much or was it the role that they were given and the story that each had to tell that is the preference?  My guess is that we simply enjoyed teh character more in House than DR.


  1.  Would you consider this the high point in Rob Zombie’s film career with these 2 films, or just the beginning?

Kristi:  I have to say yes. I enjoyed Lords- it gave me nightmares so I conclude that it was good. 31 was not as good as I hoped. I did enjoy his renditions of the Halloween flicks. Getting to see more of young Michael and more of the story inside the asylum and his relationship with Dr. Loomis was great but I remember when House came out and I was infatuated with this flick!

Chris:  I remember liking Rob Zombies music. I remember being excited before House came out. I remember seeing it and being like this is the biggest piece of shit I ever payed money to see. I never bothered with the Devil’s Rejects because of this. Talking with Kent about this before I rewatched House I wondered if my opinion would have changed with time. Nope. It still fucking sucks. Between the shitty cinematography, plot, acting, relative lack of gore, lack of a point, etc. it is still pretty much one of the worst movies I have seen. That being said The Devil’s Rejects surprised me. It wasn’t bad. With another director I think it could’ve been great. There was a good soundtrack, characters seem to have developed only one personality, and it had a plot. I have heard mixed reviews about his Halloween’s and almost nothing good about his later efforts. So yes this probably was his hey day

Teddy: I feel like this is his middle ground. Halloween 1 was his peak. Halloween 2 doesn’t exist to me.

Cece: Most definitely. I loved these two films and the first Halloween. Once Halloween 2 came, I stopped really following his movies. I feel like he dropped off.

Kent:  I think DR is great and probably my favorite of his films, but I think Halloween was his pinnacle.  After that, boy did it go downhill.  I am not as hard on Halloween 2 as others are.  I accept it’s many flaws and simply try to enjoy it now, but I understand all the criticisms and didn’t enjoy the film the first time that I saw it in the theater, which was the only one of his films I saw in the theater.  Lords of Salem and 31 were both incredible disappointments and whoever was helping Rob with cinematography and edits and stuff from DR and Halloween 1 must no longer be around.  Simple as that.  Huge drop off.

Bonus Deuce

  1.  Pick a type of horror sub genre that you would like Rob Zombie to make a film out of, like vampires, haunted houses, found footage.

Kristi:  Found footage. He seems to do really well with the gore factor. I’m not a huge fan of found footage movies but if it was more like Roanoke where the camera was steady but still told the story, I would dig it.

Chris:  I pretty much dislike everything he has done, so none. Let him stick to music, where I can appreciate him

Teddy: Tbh I want to see him take on a stephen king novel. Maybe he could take on something like thinner or the stand.

Cece: To be fair, I’d like to see his actual take on a TCM remake. BUT, I’d like to see an almost re-telling of a real life serial killer too.

Kent:  I’d like to see his take on the film The Snowtown Murders, that seems like something that he could handle.  Something cult based could be fun.  I’d also really love to see where he would take a House on Haunted Hill style film and see what crazy shit he could come up with.


  1.  Pick a favorite song from these 2 films.

Kristi:  House- Little Piggy by the man himself- Rob Zombie
Devil’s- Rocky Mountain Way- Joe Walsh

Chris:  I never knew Michael Damian’s version of Rock On in the ‘it’s was a remix. So I’ll.go with David Essex’s original, I liked the slowed down beat and the minor key it’s in compared to the one I grew up with. The Devil’s Rejects had a pretty great soundtrack altogether

Teddy: I honestly don’t know any songs from here but I’m a fan of the devil’s rejects and house of 1000 corpses by Zombie himself

Cece: House- I guess I’ll pick ‘Pussy Liquor’ by Zombie and Rejects, ‘Midnight Rider’ by Gregg Allman.

Kent:  Brick House in House, for sure.  Devil’s had way more options for my taste in music.  Midnight Rider, Fuck No. 49, Rocky Mountain Way, and Freebird.  Freebird seems like a given, but I have always been a huge fan of Funk No. 49.  The way that all 4 of those songs were used in the film were incredibly well done.

All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:

House of 1,000 Corpses

Devil’s Rejects

Please go find a copy and support the creators.