Oh no, not another horror film trying to capitalize on the lure of 3D. Seriously, it’s a ridiculously long, and by and large, bad list of horror films. To try to make sense of this one, you have to forget every sequel and remake. This gets rid of all of that and is a direct follow up to the 1974 film. Confused? Yeah, I imagine so were many other people. Then there is the questionable casting of Trey Songz. He wasn’t a good pick and I know that horror has a fine lineage of hip hop stars in horror films, but he wasn’t very good. It wasn’t even his fault, but they made his character pretty shitty with not much to work with, if we are being completely honest. Scott Eastwood is a capable actor, but he wasn’t given much to work with either. They did bring back Gunnar Hansen, Marilyn Burns, and Bill Moseley from the past, and that was a cool thing. Anyway, let me do up a synopsis with some spoilers and then my final thoughts and rating.
This movie starts with the town getting vengeance on the Sawyer clan and burn their farmhouse down. This is led by Mayor Burt Hartman. It very much reminds me of the shoot out at the beginning of Devil’s Rejects. This was a fun start. A lady has a baby, Edith Rose Sawyer, and she gets shot, so Gavin and Arlene take the baby in and treat it as their own, So like 20 years later, we are in present day. We meet our group of jackass young people: Heather (Alexandra Daddario), Ryan (Trey), Nikki, and Kenny. On top of that, they pick up a hitchhiker….yes, for reals, and his name is Daryl (Scott Eastwood). Heather finds out that she is adopted by the way and gets all pissy at her folks. She meets up with the lawyer, Farnsworth, played by the great Richard Riehle. Heather has inherited a house from her aunt Verna, and Farnsworth keeps telling her to read the letter that comes with it, but Heather is a dumbass. Seriously, you get a free house, maybe you should read the fucking letter.
Anyway, Daryl tries stealing while everybody else is out shopping for food and supplies. Well Daryl gets got by Leatherface. As you can imagine, people get systematically killed. This time though, There’s Leatherface and Mayor Hartman who just has a hate on for the Sawyers. This gets a tad convoluted along the way as Heather learns of her family history. At the end, when all of her people are dead, the Mayor and his cronie are about to put Leatherface in a grinder, but Heather saves Leatherface’s life. He is now her protector and they fuck up shit. This part was a feel good moment, although you are left to sympathize with the murderous Sawyers…I think. I don’t know anymore. There was a good story here, but too much bullshit to be truly happy. Then the tacky addition of 3D does make for a less memorable experience.
Also, there’s a great post credits scene where Heather’s parents come to try to cash in, and Heather ain’t having any of that so they meet Mr. Leatherface.
Final Thoughts – I loved how they tied this to the original. I really enjoyed that aspect. I didn’t need all of the filler. I know that filler was needed. Unfortunately, they tried to make the Sawyer’s sympathetic, and I am unsure if that was smart. This isn’t Devil’s Rejects where we followed them on this story and journey. Technically, the journey was the original and that isn’t gonna make you like them much. I’d be thrilled if we don’t get a 3D horror film for another 10-20 years. They almost always suck huge donkey dick. If you want a different take on the story, which is what all of the modern films seem to be about, you could do worse. Just know that the acting is lackluster after the opening house burning.
Rating: 5.1 Mainly because I want to watch this after the original to see if I get more from this perhaps. I wish it did better with the group’s characters.
You know what? I don’t have the want or desire to write up a full blog for this sequel. It brought me down. So here’s the full synopsis and it will include spoilers and then I will give my final thoughts and rating.
First of all, I should say that the cast is really good here. They brought back Jim Siedow who played Drayton Sawyer in the original. Drayton was the brother who was the cook, the guy who ran the BBQ place. They replaced the original Leatherface, Gunnar Hansen,which bums me out. They replaced the hitchhiked, Nubbins, with Chop Top Sawyer, who is his brother. I thought that they were the same character, but apparently the hitchhiker is the corpse that Chop Top carries around with him, and in deleted scenes, it is explained more thoroughly. We also have Dennis Hopper who is the uncle, father or brother of Sally and Franklin from part one. Wikipedia says uncle, and I don’t have enough cares to argue against it. Anyway, he’s a former Texas ranger who has been keeping track of these murders. Finally, we have Caroline WIlliams who plays the role of Vanilla Stretch Brock. Stretch is a radio DJ who works with L.G. at K-OKLA.
With that out of the way, the plot is simple. Early on, these 2 jackasses keep prank calling the station and while on a bridge, they meet a truck coming the other way, and it has Leatherface on it. Now, it needs to be pointed out that this was the longest bridge ever apparently despite when showing the bridge, it looks like a normal length, but let’s not let semantics get in the way here. Meanwhile, Drayton wins some Texas chili cook off and it’s just foolishness. Lefty is pursuing the killers and Stretch has the recording of the audio of the murder. Lefty doesn’t want her help, then he does. Chop Top and Leatherface show up to the radio station and beat the hell out of L.G. way beyond the point of death, but we see later that he is still alive. Leatherface wants to sexual stuff to Stretch, but she wins him over and he allows her to live. Lefty goes and buys a huge chainsaw and 2 smaller ones. From this point on, Dennis Hopper does over the top Dennis Hopper stuff with chainsaws while exploring the Sawyer family’s underground lair. Seriously. Lefty ends up in there as well, gets captured, has LG’s face placed on her’s, sees LG rise up and then eventually die. There’s some fights and I feel that Dennis Hopper is taking on Drayton and Leatherface and a grenade goes off ending that, while Stretch and Chop Top fight it out and he falls and she wins. Yeah, that’s how it goes.
Final Thoughts – Wow, I am sad that this movie was made. It was a black comedy, but not a very good one. What’s worse is that Tobe Hooper also made this one. The whole change in atmosphere and vibe really hurt this as a sequel. The OG TCM is so dark and gritty and horrific. This one tried to do something different, which I do admire, but the change in tone from one extreme to another didn’t work for me. A complete waste of Dennis Hopper’s talents. Caroline Williams was the star as far as I’m concerned. Also, did we need to have another dinner table scene? Note, having seen parts 3 and 4 after, I can say that apparently is needed, and a Grandpa always needs to exist. SO frustrating. I do want to note, a lot of people consider the House of 1,000 Corpses film to be a homage to TCM, but nobody notes how Devil’s Rejects has a sheriff who is hell bent on hunting down the family that killed his family. Yeah, big similarities if you think about it.
Rating: 2.7 This wasn’t fun for me. I mentally gave up and almost fell asleep. It was an exercise in absurdity and is the worst of the original 4. Not by much, rest assured I will write about part 4 as well. This movie was a missed opportunity, especially witH Bill Moseley to make this a darker and more serious tone.
OK, now that I have relaxed after that nightmarish movie, we’re back in the saddle again. I had this recommended on IMDB, so let’s see what we have. The very first scene takes place in 1992. So far, so good. There are a ton of spoilers, I can’t help it, this movie amused me too much.
Well lookie here, 2 of the stars of this are none other than Sid Haig and Bill Moseley, better known to the horror universe as Captain Spaulding and Otis from Devil’s Rejects and House of 1,000 Corpses.
A minute in, and Otis has killed a kid. A little later and our main character has banged the hot chick in the movie, and we have seen her boobs. OK, well that’s cool. I now feel obligated to sit through this because, we’re doing this for charity. After nailing her, he drugs her, ties her up in a basement of garage it appears, and he looks creepy in his rocking chair. This looks extremely dated, but it supposedly came out in 2012 and an iPhone was in here. Oh, there’s skeletons in that room.
The dude is a college student, something in the medical field. He is now gonna take a chick out named Kristen. I would be oh so terribly sad if he kills a bitch like Kristen. Girls whose name begins with K or R…..I don’t know. Haham I doubt anybody reading this is a female who’s name begins with K or R are reading this. If you are though, let me know. I will get zero responses. I’m a very unpopular guy.
Wow, the acting….it’s top notch, C level shit. I feel like this should have been on Lifetime. Wow, so our main dude, David, he is with Kristen, and some detective asks him dumb questions. The very next scene, he arrives at his house and another detective is there and wants to search his house. Really? That’s pacing right there. David apparently has lots of framed pics of himself with ex girlfriends. So Kristen bounces, David kills one detective. The first detective is now staking out David’s place. David comes out with 2 large dark garbage bags. The original detective follows him much to the plight of his boss who tells him to wait for backup. And now David has pummeled this detective’s head in with a hammer. I’ll give them credit they are not wasting any fucking time. We are less than 20 minutes in. The detective’s boss shows up, saves Melissa, the girl who he originally banged and had hostage, and David high tails it out of there.
Otis!!!!! I love his voice. Sid Haig is a doctor in the hospital. Bill is David’s dad and he’s coming to meet David. Oh, David told Melissa that she better keep the baby or else. She just told Sid that she’s be keeping it. Now you have a taste for the movie, and we have jumped ahead….you guessed it, 9 months. Did M Night Sham write this?
Now I am gonna hang back, watch the rest, give you any highlights involving Sid or Bill, and then wrap it up with a review.
Man, Kristen was concealing her boobs in the shower. This is bullshit here. I want more boobs so we can up our pledges for donations. Oh and by the way, my wish came true. BOOM!
Melissa now has dark hair? Because some jackass tells me that it’s been 9 months and women are entitled to change their hair color while pregnant, well that makes sense, except why in a film? Oh, most likely she was working on 2 projects, or this one stopped filming halfway through. There’s flashbacks of David drugging Melissa and banging her. He was banging her while wearing his underwear. Is that weird or is it just me? Come, show a little man ass for the ladies.
Sid Haig is a handsome man. Especially when the camera is extremely close to his face on a 60 inch TV. I do not anticipate anybody buying or downloading this movie. The timing is so amazing in this. Cop is guarding Melissa outside, gets on his radio just to say that there’s no sign of David, and we see a shadowy figure in the background. This is some paint by numbers shit. The black cop that was inside hears a car horn. He comes out, calls the cop lazy for resting his head on the steering wheel and just casually walks up to check on him. This is just funny.
Oh man, it just gets better. So the bald FBI guy that originally saved Melissa goes to visit David’s dad, Bill Moseley. He talks to him for less than 2 minutes, gets no info. He then says goodbye. Now this is where it gets good. He walks out of Bill’s house, steps on the proch, takes a few steps to his right, then calls up another FBI person, and has a conversation about how he thinks Bill is hiding something. Needless to say, Bill can hear this clear as day on the other side of the door. SO professional.
The conversations, my goodness. Melissa is talking to David about him drugging and raping her. He says “I never raped anyone, you gave me consent in the warehouse.” Mind you, they just showed us him drugging and raping her, and he was so matter of fact. Then Melissa doesn’t say much. She then acts chill, tells David that she wants this family to work and she wants to make love. She pulls out a knife, makes no attempt at any aggression, so he easily grabs her arm, bends her over the table, and rails her. I bet that was “rape” too. Now she just deserves to get got. I am liking this movie way more than I should. Unbelievable.
How has nobody found Melissa yet? Seriously, he’s outside chopping wood in the middle of the day. Melissa is so sad, so now it’s time to drown the baby. Now she goes outside, gets his attention and runs off. Holy fuck. I’m only at the halfway point. She ran through the woods, and just so happened to have a middle aged bearded man in a cowboy hate in a pickup truck, and he’s gonna bring her to the cops.
So David brings his dead daughter to Bill’s house. Bill says he has to leave and Bill will take care of the daughter. Bald FBI agent just so happened to be standing next to a door at Bill’s house. Come on Bill, save your boy! Yup, shotgun to his bald dome. Baldie was apparently named Lorenzo. Silly bald men, when will they learn.
Melissa is attempting to act. She can’t. She clearly got the role because she had sweet tits, was willing to show them, and probably worked for a few jars of peanut butter. Maybe a jar of fluff too. I wish I had some fluff. Bill is yelling at a detective!!! This detective finds out that Melissa killed the baby. So now a different detective is bringing Melissa in for questioning. She passes out on the way there. Sid Haig stops by, the detective says Sid can’t go in, but Sid pulls the old “I’m her psychiatrist” line and the detective is shut down like a bitch. This blog is so much longer than i anticipated, but this movie, it’s so bad that it’s good.
I think David just picked up a prostitute. He got the hot one, and now he brings her to some place, he got her topless, so second pair of tits. Then comes the amazingly bad dialogue. Why is nobody watching this with me? I need somebody to laugh with. “I am David O’Hare, one of the most sought after murders throughout the land….I could bash your head in with this claw hammer, but I wanna use my surgical knowledge….you will be my first hooker killing” all in this weird deep voice. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? You had a hot prostitute, bang her first, then kill. Duhhh.
So this new FBI guy, I am assuming FBI, is also bald. No stereotyping here. Maybe Lorenzo is still alive and a different bald fuck got killed. I am way too busy typing during this. Oh god, now we have a copycat killer. This is just too funny. I have never seen a real prostitute, I would like to someday. I’m not gonna pay them or anything, I just wanna see one, maybe smile and wave, that’s about it.
So this cop looks in the room where the hooker got killed, she’s in 2 separate trash cans. He doesn’t react at all, then he comes out and delivers his line with urgency. Melissa is in a psych ward I think, trying to kill herself. Only 15 minutes to go in this gem. Melissa’s hair looks lighter again. This female doctor told Melissa to never give up. Who is she, John Cena? I am so sick of typing the word Detective without Tapp followed behind it.
2 bald guys in the same room. Too soon!!!
The last 10 minutes have been an utter waste of time. David now has a sniper gun. He sees Melissa outside. He sees Lorenzo as well. Or for fuck’s sake, the doctore asked Melissa to clear her thoughts and draw the first thing in her mind, and it didn’t have to be special of detailed. We see through David’s scope that it is this super highly detailed portrait of some guy’s face, looks like a photograph honestly. She would have required a few more minutes than what she took.
FBI baldie sees David. he shoots David like 3 times at close range. David then falls, stab the agent, and steals his car. And then he gets to a farm house, and he walks, it then ends. Is this a joke???? No loose ends were remotely tied. The idiot who played David was also the director and writer,
Well I had planned on giving it between a 5-6, but nothing happened the last 15 minutes and that seems like a waste. I can’t give it more than a 4. I’m so disappointed right now.
T & A Totals UPDATED
29 Bare breasts
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And just as I thought I was out, I get pulled right back in. OK, I willingly walked into this treat.
Let me start off by saying that for the life of me, I DO NOT understand the hate for this movie. I’m sorry, but people need to let shit go when it comes to remakes. They are here to stay. If you don’t want to see it, don’t watch it. BUT do NOT tell me that it’s a bad movie just because you are too hurt that a remake was made. Let’s look at the remake market for horror.
Nightmare on Elm Street – noble effort, wasn’t bad, destined to be hated because it wasn’t Robert Englund. That was a good shot, I’m not hating, but I prefer the original.
Friday the 13th – The remake was fantastic. Compared to the original, I will take the remake any day. That is not me saying that I don’t recognize the importance of the of the original, much like any of these, but this movie was way more entertaining.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre – Similar set up, very close ties to the original, and it was well done. Some days I prefer the original, some the newer, depending on if I want bloody or gritty. Both excellent.
Hills Have Eyes – New one is way more bloody and gory, still a lot prefer the original.
Amityville Horror – New one wasn’t bad, it just never properly resonated with fans like the original, and I am partial to the original as well.
The Shining – The biggest debate for true fans. You see, you have the people that instantly dismiss it due to it not being Kubrick, due to the length, due to Jack nicholson being replaced by Steven Weber, a lot of differences from one to the other. Here’s the thing, the new one is more like the book. If you prefer the book, you should invest some time in the made for TV miniseries remake because it is extremely well done. The biggest beef I have with the remake is that it isn’t as scary, it simply isn’t. Both are great.
Which leads me to Rob Zombie’s take on Halloween. This is THE BEST remake of the horror franchises, I do not accept any other answers. If you are pissed off that the family is white trash now as opposed to the original, well quite frankly it makes Michael’s descent all the more logical and reasonable. The original provides shit for a back story, and most people are actually satisfied with this? I firmly believe the haters went into this movie with a hate on and never gave it a fair chance. This movie has something called character development. Wow, what a neat fucking idea. You don’t like the characters? Too bad, they have dimensions now. The original characters were poorly fleshed out and I will fight somebody tooth and nail over this. Look how long it took to get to Michael killing people in this. Look at what you know by that point. His mom is a stripper, the kids at school pick on him for this, he likes pet rats, his step dad is a complete dickhead to everybody in the house and calls Michael gay and demeans the shit out of everybody. Well now, I can see how that kid may snap and kill some mother fuckers. Why did the original Michael Meyers go on a killing spree? ……….Waiting……….Still waiting……….I got all fucking day………..Oh, you don’t have a good reason. Well fuck you very much, go park yourself at the kid’s table with your hackneyed opinions and preferences. You can tell I have had a few conversations and read some really stupid people’s opinions on this movie.
So we have a backstory. William Forsythe’s dickheaded character gets got. The stupid promiscuous sister and her man get got. We see titties! Sherri Moon dances. This all happens prior to him being locked up. Are you kidding me? You are gonna complain about this? So Michael likes to have a mask on, makes him feel safer. Malcolm McDowell is Dr Loomis. Have I mentioned how great this cast is? The haters will bring up that it is a bunch of Rob Zombie retreads. Well ain’t that some shit. Who of his big stars before have huge roles in this? Sherri has an adequate role, and she’s hot. This certainly isn’t an issue. Tyler Mane is a beast of a man and is the best Michael in my opinion based on size and presence. Brad Douriff plays the main sheriff, and he’s a horror icon, ya know, the voice of Chucky. Danny Trejo plays my favorite character in this, and I so wanted him to live, and Michael ALMOST allowed it. Most heartbreaking scene in the film. Bill Moseley, the man who played Otis in the House and Devils Rejects, has a small role. Sid Haig, Captain Spaulding, also has a small roles. Other awesome actors in this include Dee Wallace, leslie Easterbrook, Ken Foree, Clint Howard, and Lew fucking Temple. Then you have Danielle Harris, who played Jamie in Halloween 4 and 5. What a great fucking cast!! Oh and the kid that portrayed young Michael Meyers was the fat kid that taunted Hancock, in that movie, Hancock.
If I haven’t sold you yet, then why are you even breathing? Unfortunately, the sequel wasn’t as good, some may say it was downright awful and began the downward spiral which led to the blah Lords of Salem. This movie though, this movie is a masterpiece that I think all horror fans should see. Oh and just in case I haven’t sold you, one final story.
My mom, who is now in her 60’s, she is the one that showed me the original Halloween and made me dig the franchise. I decided to show her this movie to see if she would like it or be a jaded old person who hates remakes. Without any influence, she tells me she enjoyed this one more due to character development and backstory. There you have it. This shit matters!
I give this movie an 8.3.
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This movie is almost universally hailed as a better and more likeable film than it’s predecessor, House of 1,000 Corpses. I’m hard pressed to argue it as this is a fucking great movie. It’s a movie that sucks you in. Even if it is background noise, I defy you to not find yourself gawking at this movie for minutes on end. I defy you not to get pumped when the words “Tuity fucking fruity” is uttered. The first time you realize that the tall goofy comedian (Brian Posehn) is in this and it feels right. Now you may watch it and suddenly recognize that Axel from the Walking Dead is in this. You may get a little mahogany in your pants when you hear Danny Trejo for the first time or realize that his sidekick is none other former WCW wrestler with the self high five, DDP. Or how do you ignore the guy going off on Elvis in defense of Groucho Marx? The shootout at the beginning. Sheriff Wydell being a fucking hoss all movie, he steals the movie oftentimes.
And of course I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the 3 main stars of this. Captain Spaulding stealing the car and fucking with the kid. Hell the opening Captain Spaulding scene! Sherri Moon being a crazy, sexy, cool bitch, flirting with Roy, making the bitch hit the other bitch, and that ass. Of course I saved the best for last, my man Otis. I am gonna make a wrestling reference here, and I do apologize. Otis is the epitome of an old school heel who gets his heat by being a bastard, and is never concerned with being cool or likeable. The other 2 have their fans for various reasons, and that shit is cool. Otis is just a bad ass mother fucker, and he never lowers his character’s philosophy for a quick joke or cheap pop. To make another analogy, more suited for you horror fans. Otis is Freddy Krueger in 1, 2, and New Nightmare. Baby is him in part 3 and 4. Spaulding is 5 and Freddy’s dead. Yeah, that analogy felt more cathartic.
The other 2 things that need to be brought up is the storyline here is significantly tighter which made for better character development. This is key to the improvement between films. The other thing that is often overlooked is the music. What a great soundtrack! Midnight Rider, Funk No 49, Rocky Mountain Way, and of course fucking Freebird. How many horror movies, hell movies in general end on such an epic feel? Admit it, you was cheering on the bad guys despite knowing they had no chance, but you still pulled for them.
I realize as I talk about this, it is better than House. It just is. Rating? 8.0, possibly higher. It’s THAT fucking good.
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So here’s the deal, I just watched House of 1,000 Corpses and Devil’s Rejects like 2 weeks ago thanks to IFC having it on a Saturday night when I am bored as all hell. So I removed the films from the calendar. Then sure enough, Monday night, Tuesday morning for you pretentious bastards, I found myself flipping through “the guide” and saw this was on. It was fate, so I obliged.
Now let me start off by saying that the hype behind this movie was unreal, like to the point where it couldn’t live up to everybody’s expectations. Here you have Rob Zombie making some bad ass violent flick and all sorts of rumors and hullabaloo. Then people watched it and was disappointed. Then the critics unleashed hell upon it. Too many morons calling it a Texas Chainsaw massacre rip off because they have only ever seen the giants of the genre and never explored deeper. Yeah, there are similarities, but that’s like saying Child’s Play and Leprechaun are the same movie because the lead characters are midgets. Chucky was a midget right…..? Anyway, aside from the haters, the lazy reviews, and people who just don’t like gore, you are left with a decent group of followers that enjoyed the movie. I am one of them. And by now, a quarter of the readers are done and have lost hope in me.
So here are are perks of this movie. 1. Dwight Schrute from The Office is in this. 2. Chris Hardwick (a tad chubbier than he is today) from Talking Dead, Talking Bad, and Singled Out fame is in this. 3. The chicks are nice to look at and a nice amount of tits. And don’t give me some sexism bullshit. Horror doesn’t necessarily have to have tits, but anything in the slasher genre really should. 4. Lots of gore which can be fun in the right movie, and this type of movie fits the bill.
5. The bad guys, the villains, the crazy family that kills up everybody. NOW this is the heart and soul of this movie. Granted, the characters are somewhat shallow and in the sequel, the main ones get more fleshed out, but this was a good start. A little bit of character goes a long way in the first of a series. I love Sherri Moon, she’s not bad to look at and plays her part well. Sid Haig as Captain Spaulding is borderline iconic, and may make for a fine tattoo. Karen Black is fine as Mother Firefly. I would be remiss not to give props to Matthew McGrory as Tiny as he always seemed like an awesome dude. As a matter of fact, Devil’s Rejects was dedicated to his memory. Dr Satan was just there and kind of disappointing after all the hype. 2 characters though were head and shoulders above the rest. Grandpa Hugo played by Dennis Fimple was absolutely hilarious in his short time on screen. The MVP though for me was Bill Moseley who played Otis. Otis may not have had the most lines, or any funny one liners, but he was the most violent and artistic, and sadistic, and I always felt he never gets the props he deserves. Walton Goggins is also in this in a small but memorable scene that people either loved or hated, depending on how you feel about waiting for like 20 seconds in like dead silence and no movement before the gun goes off. I personally found it masterful.
Was this the best, end all, be all movie of it’s genre? Hell no. Did it have great characters, a decent enough plot, and some good deaths? Hell yes. If you go in over hyping it, you will walk away disappointed. Me personally, I give it a 7.5 and consider it a fine way to start the month.
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Yes, we are finally tackling this franchise! Most of us here are quite excited about this one. I say most of us as one of our contributors was not a fan of House, to say the very least. That’s not a bad thing though because it’s more fun to have some disagreement. If you find yourself agreeing with most of us, or if you think Chris has some valid points, leave us a comment. Any comments in bold will be made by Kent.
Let’s start off with an easy one. Who was your favorite character in House of 1,000 Corpses? Who is you favorite in Devil’s Rejects?
Kristi: Captain Fucking Spaulding in both films. I do like Otis more in Devils than in House but Captain Spaulding is the man, or clown, if you will. Chris: Doctor Satan. He looks like the prototype for one of the bad guys in a video game called Outlast. Rondo in DR, Danny Trejo is a badass
Teddy: I like Baby the most, but that’s because she is hot lmao
Cece: Captain Spaulding for sure. I also love Otis. For both.
Kent: Baby won me over in House. She simply was evil and sexy at the same time. Captain Spaulding probably comes in at #2 followed by Grandpa Hugo. As for Devil’s Rejects, it’s Captain Spaulding, but Otis is a very close 2nd and Sheriff Wydell was also pretty fucking good. This line from him always cracks me up. “Son, if you ever say another derogatory word about Elvis Aron Presley in my presence again, I will kick the living shit out of you!”
Name your favorite death from each film.
Kristi: House- Mother Firefly shooting the cop in the neck. It’s just a nice clean kill. Devil’s- Gloria. I know it’s obvious that Baby will kill her but it’s just unexpected and a straight shot to the heart.
Chris: Nash in House. The amount of time they make you wait with Walton Goggins on his knees is one of the only suspenseful parts of the movie. Wendy in DR, they did a good job with the aftereffects of a truck hitting a person like that
Teddy: Fish boy from house, and probably the I am the devil scene in the desert with Otis
Cece: House- I love Fish Boy. Rejects- probably the end scene.
Kent: Walton Goggins in the first one, just how it was filmed. I know that it was a bit controversial, but it really sticks with you. As for DR, the final shot. Something about long drawn out deaths seem to work for me. Plus Freebird kicks ass.
Did you consider House a rip off of Texas Chainsaw Massacre or more of a TCM for a new generation?
Kristi: I do not consider it a rip off at all. I think Rob did his own thing. He is a fan of all things horror so I think perhaps he had it in his mind but I really think he created this out of his own mind. Chris: RZ had no fucking clue what he was doing with House and it shows. He was definitely more coherent in The Devil’s Rejects and it shows. House tried to riff off of TCM amongst other horror movies, and failed miserably
Teddy: I mean that’s like saying the hills have eyes is a TCM inspired film. I feel like they’re their own thing.
Cece: I consider it more of an homage if anything. I love the TCM elements involved!
Kent: I definitely think it was an hommage. For fuck’s sake though, the ending was a tad bit of a rip off if we are going to be honest here. With that being said,I think it inspired people to go back and rewatch TCM and that’s a good thing.
Would you have any interest in a prequel to these films?
Kristi: Abso-fucking-lutely!!! Chris: No. Unless they got someone other than Rob Zombie and Sheri Moon to do them
Teddy: Nah prequels about horror movies never work out. Just listen to the songs plenty of a backstory there.
Cece: Hell yeah!
Kent: There is a part of me that would love more history behind the family, especially Dr Satan. But no, I don’t want a prequel. Prequels almost always require a whole different group of actors because they are younger. It sets up highly unrealistic expectations from fans, and it simply doesn’t work out nearly as often as it fails. As much as I would love more from them, this is a case where I want to leave greatness as is without expanding beyond the story told.
Give me your thoughts on Dr Satan in House of 1,000 Corpses.
Kristi: He is a sadistic fuck. I don’t think there is much more to say. Chris: I read in an interview once that Rob Zombie is hard to interview because he is so stoned he doesn’t think or speak coherently. The paper cut I got from the magazine I read that interview in gave me more enjoyment than watching House of 1000 Corpses. Who cares
Teddy: TBH they put soooo much hype around him just for him to barely be in the movie…also where the fuck did he go after House?? Like makes no sense
Cece: DOCTA SATAN!!!! Honestly, kinda cool. I wish they’d go more into his story.
Kent: All hype with very little substance. He seemed cool, and I wanted to know way more. Instead it was the horror version of a cock tease. The character is one of the biggest issues I have with this film. All of this hype and you finally get a taste, but it feels so empty when they deliver him. It saddens me because I wanted it to be cooler.
Who do you “cheer on” by the end of Devil’s Rejects: the cops or the killers?
Kristi: The killers. Mostly because I wanted to see another sequel. Chris: If you feel bad for the killers it might be time to start upping your meds. Also let me know when you’re in Florida so I can hide my family.
Teddy: The cops, despite Sherry Moon Zombie being hot like they were still fucked up killers, so no pity there.
Cece: Honestly, it’s like the almost make you feel bad for the Firefly family…
Kent: The killers, obviously. It’s a simple matter of getting to know their personalities over knowing very little about those officers. It’s that simple. If we had gotten to know both equally well, maybe it would be different. With that being said, I tend to side with the killers in these films anyway, so what can I say? Plus, by the end, you want another sequel really badly.
Give me a favorite line from one or both films. They are loaded. Yes, we all love Tuitu fucking fruiti, so give me another gem. Captain Spaulding alone has plenty of them.
Kristi: House- Fuck yo Momma, Fuck yo sister, Fuck yo Grandma, but most off all Fuck You!! Lets face it. That entire scene is fantastic! (This was going to be my answer.)
Devils-I’m gonna have to be taking your car today. See I have some top secret clown business that supersedes any plans that you might have for this here vehicle.
Chris: “I’m not calling you a chicken fucker, but that boy over there looks sexually frustrated, and I don’t approve of chicken fucking.”
Teddy: “There is no fucking ice cream in your fucking future” and “if you don’t got a reason you hate clowns I will kill your whole family”
Cece: House- Not really a line spoken, but I love Spaulding’s shirt, ‘If I wanted to hear an asshole, I’d fart’ Rejects- ‘The next thing out of your mouth better be some fuckin’ Mark Twain shit…’
Kent: House – Otis: [ranting to tied up cheerleaders] “Why”, you ask? “Why” is not the question. How? Now, that is a question worth examining. How could I, being born of such, uh… conventional stock, arrive a leader of the rebellion? An escapist from a conformist world, destined to find happiness only in that which cannot be explained? I brought you here for a reason, but unfortunately you and your sentimental minds are doing me no good! My brain is frozen. Locked! I have to break free from this culture of mechanical reproductions and the thick encrustations dying on the surface!
Devil’s Rejects – Candy: What you lookin’ at? Otis B. Driftwood: I’m lookin’ at you, mama. Candy: Yeah, you see something you like? Otis B. Driftwood: Maybe. I set my standards pretty low, so I’m never disappointed. Candy: Oh, well I don’t disappoint.
Otis B. Driftwood: You had to come all fuckin’ big stick, walkin’ tall, like a big fuckin’ hero. Got yourself to blame, hero. Look at you now, hero, you’re gonna fuckin’ bleed to death!
Baby: Just in case anyone’s interested, I think I’m gonna be wanting some ice cream in about 10 miles. Otis: [in a mocking tone] “I think I’m gonna be wanting some ice cream in about 10 miles.” Baby: Don’t you fucking imitate me, it’s fucking rude! [mocking] Baby: “I know what I know and I know I don’t like that nut sack… ” Otis: Fuck you. Baby: Fuck you! Captain J.T. Spaulding: Two fucking seconds for the kid, is that gonna kill you? Otis: Yes, it is going to kill me! I have calculated the time, and two seconds is the exact amount of time that is a hazard to my fucking health. Baby: What the fuck is your problem? I’m in and out in two seconds! Captain J.T. Spaulding: You know? I think I’m gonna get me some tutti fucking fruity. Baby: Tutti fucking fruity, that sounds good!
Which actress playing Mother Firefly did you prefer: Karen Black in House or Leslie Easterbrook in Devil’s?
Kristi: Karen Black! Chris: Karen Black. She made M.F. crazy instead of just slutty
Teddy: I have no preference, but the lady in devil’s was a hoe lmao
Cece: Karen Black, for sure!
Kent: Much like everybody else, Karen Black is the preference, but I am left wondering, If you switch what film they were in, would we change our tune? Was it the actress so much or was it the role that they were given and the story that each had to tell that is the preference? My guess is that we simply enjoyed teh character more in House than DR.
Would you consider this the high point in Rob Zombie’s film career with these 2 films, or just the beginning?
Kristi: I have to say yes. I enjoyed Lords- it gave me nightmares so I conclude that it was good. 31 was not as good as I hoped. I did enjoy his renditions of the Halloween flicks. Getting to see more of young Michael and more of the story inside the asylum and his relationship with Dr. Loomis was great but I remember when House came out and I was infatuated with this flick! Chris: I remember liking Rob Zombies music. I remember being excited before House came out. I remember seeing it and being like this is the biggest piece of shit I ever payed money to see. I never bothered with the Devil’s Rejects because of this. Talking with Kent about this before I rewatched House I wondered if my opinion would have changed with time. Nope. It still fucking sucks. Between the shitty cinematography, plot, acting, relative lack of gore, lack of a point, etc. it is still pretty much one of the worst movies I have seen. That being said The Devil’s Rejects surprised me. It wasn’t bad. With another director I think it could’ve been great. There was a good soundtrack, characters seem to have developed only one personality, and it had a plot. I have heard mixed reviews about his Halloween’s and almost nothing good about his later efforts. So yes this probably was his hey day
Teddy: I feel like this is his middle ground. Halloween 1 was his peak. Halloween 2 doesn’t exist to me.
Cece: Most definitely. I loved these two films and the first Halloween. Once Halloween 2 came, I stopped really following his movies. I feel like he dropped off.
Kent: I think DR is great and probably my favorite of his films, but I think Halloween was his pinnacle. After that, boy did it go downhill. I am not as hard on Halloween 2 as others are. I accept it’s many flaws and simply try to enjoy it now, but I understand all the criticisms and didn’t enjoy the film the first time that I saw it in the theater, which was the only one of his films I saw in the theater. Lords of Salem and 31 were both incredible disappointments and whoever was helping Rob with cinematography and edits and stuff from DR and Halloween 1 must no longer be around. Simple as that. Huge drop off.
Pick a type of horror sub genre that you would like Rob Zombie to make a film out of, like vampires, haunted houses, found footage.
Kristi: Found footage. He seems to do really well with the gore factor. I’m not a huge fan of found footage movies but if it was more like Roanoke where the camera was steady but still told the story, I would dig it. Chris: I pretty much dislike everything he has done, so none. Let him stick to music, where I can appreciate him
Teddy: Tbh I want to see him take on a stephen king novel. Maybe he could take on something like thinner or the stand.
Cece: To be fair, I’d like to see his actual take on a TCM remake. BUT, I’d like to see an almost re-telling of a real life serial killer too.
Kent: I’d like to see his take on the film The Snowtown Murders, that seems like something that he could handle. Something cult based could be fun. I’d also really love to see where he would take a House on Haunted Hill style film and see what crazy shit he could come up with.
Pick a favorite song from these 2 films.
Kristi: House- Little Piggy by the man himself- Rob Zombie Devil’s- Rocky Mountain Way- Joe Walsh Chris: I never knew Michael Damian’s version of Rock On in the ‘it’s was a remix. So I’ll.go with David Essex’s original, I liked the slowed down beat and the minor key it’s in compared to the one I grew up with. The Devil’s Rejects had a pretty great soundtrack altogether
Teddy: I honestly don’t know any songs from here but I’m a fan of the devil’s rejects and house of 1000 corpses by Zombie himself
Cece: House- I guess I’ll pick ‘Pussy Liquor’ by Zombie and Rejects, ‘Midnight Rider’ by Gregg Allman.
Kent: Brick House in House, for sure. Devil’s had way more options for my taste in music. Midnight Rider, Fuck No. 49, Rocky Mountain Way, and Freebird. Freebird seems like a given, but I have always been a huge fan of Funk No. 49. The way that all 4 of those songs were used in the film were incredibly well done.
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