Welcome everybody to the only wrestling blog that believes an angel gets it’s wings when a Hardly Boy gets a stitch. I’m joined a thinner, hairier man, Russ. We were not Kentertained by the vast majority of the night, but a few matches weren’t so bad.
Of course, we also did our podcast, Are You Not Kentertained, where we discuss some of these topics and others, plus do our weekly segments. It’s like a verbal companion to the blog. Please check us out at facebook.com/9deuceblog , on Twitter @official9deuce, or Instagram at Official9Deuce. Share this, like this, write us an email with a question at email@example.com. Thank you.
- Cruiserweight Champion Neville retained against Akira Tozawa
Russ: I didn’t watch it, I heard it was adequate, which for the names involved that is a shame. They should be having stellar matches.
Rating: N/A I wasn’t starting this horrible PPV starting exactly at 8, there was no way in hell I was going to catch this match.
Kent: Eh, Neville is starting to lose his edge have they haven’t given him much of anything interesting to do to keep his character fresh. Remember how good it was early in the year when he was the king of the Cruiserweights? Now, it’s trending down and that’s on WWE for not giving him fresh opponents to keep working with who he can connect with. Rich Swann and Gallagher should both have had more interesting programs with him. Akira isn’t the right guy to get Neville back to the pinnacle. Akira is money, but Neville needs to get more mic time, and more importantly, an angle. Aries and Neville should have exchanged victories. Anyway, nothing really stood out here, nothing bad either. Not rewatchable in any capacity though.
Rating: 4.0 seems fair. If you missed it, you’re fine.
- Bray Wyatt defeated the former #1 pick in the draft, Russell’s favorite pretty princess, Seth “the dual edged sword” Rollins in a match that nobody cared about
Russ: The match was ok, but the matched a lack of purpose which brought this way down for me. How could two top wrestlers have so little to fight for! They could have easily given us a story that was compelling enough to tie to the match. Instead we get crap on a stick and Bray wandering a desert. They hit all their moves and there was some decent chemistry, but I was bored by the end and I think the lack of a story really hurt this one for me. Since nothing was on the line it makes sense that Bray won, that’s how WWE rolls.
Kent: What a terrible match to kick off this terrible PPV. Maybe it was apropos. I don’t know. Yeah, I told you that Bray would win because he wins meaningless PPV matches. I don’t remember anything about this match aside from one tidbit. I believe it was Michael Cole who stated that Seth Rollins has had more PPV matches since 2015 than any other superstar. I always am in disbelief over these factoids and then I do my research and get shot down. Still, how is that possible? Dean is never injured and always has a match. Seth was out for awhile with injuries. This cannot be correct, can it? I’m calling bullshit. I feel like The Miz and Dean should be higher than Seth as The Miz is never hurt, but he does make those great Marine films. I need proof, which will require me to do boring research.
Rating: 3.0 because it was a solid match, but with zero entertainment factor. I’m being generous due to Bray. Anybody giving it higher than a 3.0 either is a smark or wants Seth to lay him down by the fire and make sweet love to him. Yup, there’s the gauntlet, and it’s been laid.
- Big Cass defeated Enzo Amore….to nobody’s surprise
Russ: I enjoyed the promo a little bit, but the match was meh. I guess if it was good for anything it displayed the magnificents of Enzo’s ragdolling skills. It was obvious that Cass was going to win and they never even pretended that Enzo had a chance. They even tried to say that Enzo showed heart because he kept getting back up, but is getting up only 2 times really never giving up? They messed this angle up so badly it was hard to care about the whole thing. I hope they can make Cass work because this wasn’t promising.
Kent: The promo was almost as long as the match. More importantly, aside from the terrible start on the kickoff show, my predictions are rocking. I totally said generic rock music for Cass. Oh, the match? I don’t even remember the finishing move. Gonna look it up. Oh, the running big boot. Really? That’s what we’re going to stick with for a 7 footer? Come the fuck on. Big guys always have knee and leg issues. That shouldn’t be a finisher. The set up for the move is going to get terribly predictable really fucking fast.
Rating: 1.7 Really, nobody is going to rewatch or remember this match for it’s quality.
- Sheasaro defeated The Bloody Hardly Boys in a 30 minute Iron Man match for the RAW tag team championships 4-3
Russ: Alright, finally a match that delivered. This was executed well. They kept you interested the entire match. I liked that they got a quick pin in to keep people interested in seeing how the Hardly Boys would make a comeback. The first 10 minutes were interesting because the Hardly’s seemed like they were going to get schooled. Then the second 10 minutes was good because of the mounted comeback, finally the last 10 minutes were great action and excitement. The belt being on the line made this feel even more important of a match. I enjoyed this match.
Kent: I knew I should have said this was my dark horse pick for match of the night. I just hate Iron Man matches so much. This one delivered so kudos. Oh, it was a final score of 4 to 3. Damn, I feel like only one person on the podcast predicted that outcome. BALLIN! Yes, yes, I’m great. Kudos aside, let’s anal-yze this match because I have some nits to pick. First of all, Sheasaro can never get one over in singles matches, they seem to have to do dastardly things to win the real tag matches, and then they get the first fall in 20 seconds. The fuck? Then they got a second one. This is inconsistent from the story that they have been telling us since Mania. Yeah, this feud has been going on for far too long. Matt was really busted open, nice to see a Hardly bleed. Sheamus immediately had the rope mark on his back or side. This was a good execution of an iron man match, so kudos to all involved.
Rating: 6.2 Because it still bored me at times, but it was good by and large.
- Sasha Banks defeated the RAW Women’s champion, and my personal goddess, Alexa Bliss via count out so Alexa retains
Russ: I barely remember this match and I just watched it yesterday! It wasn’t a bad match, but I just couldn’t get invested in it enough. It was quicker than I thought it should have been, but the chemistry between the ladies was good. Sasha won, but Alexa retained, thank goodness! I guess it will be Alexa vs. Sasha at SummerSlam with some stipulation.
Kent: I will say that these girls matched up really well, which surprised me. I was pleasantly surprised. Sasha ain’t winning no title on a PPV, cause that ain’t how she do. These are facts. I really felt that Alexa was going to get intentionally counted out after the 4 second rope break. Less than a minute later it happened. That made no sense for me. Get the count out after that so Alexa could bitch about how the ref didn’t break the hold fast enough. That would add to the story. Instead, they added a couple of moves then did the count out and it was dumb. They had a decent match up to that point. My way makes the future promos work a lot better towards a storyline that is palpable.
Rating: 4.8 because I would consider rewatching it and then determine that looking up fake nudes of Alexa and Sasha are better ways to spend my time.
- The Miz retained the IC Championship against….YAWWWWWN…….Dean Ambrose
Russ: This match was boring! I don’t even know what to say. I’ve seen these guys fight too many time and this was just the same as any other fight they had. I missed the first 5 minutes because of WWE Network failures, but after seeing what I saw I didn’t care to go back to watch it. What was the point of showing Maryse and The Miz fighting and then not have any payoff for this at all during the match? Whatever, I hope this is done and both guys stay away from each others business for several years. Oh yea and I will steal Kent’s issue with Dean getting “injured” in a match but then 5 seconds later he’s running around like a coke head! His sell is terrible! (Kent: You’re doing God’s work.)
Rating: 2.9 (I’m giving this the reverse Deuce, because it was just awful and both guys are way better than this.)
Kent: I have no praise to offer I thought Enzo and Cass set the bar at the bottom. Nope. I have so many gripes, but I will focus on 3 main ones. 1. They didn’t add anything new to their match formula that we have been seen since January. Yeah, it’s been going on that long. 2. The obvious story would have been to have Bo and Curtis interfere to keep Dean off his game and made Dean truly sympathetic and generate heat. What did WWE do instead? They had Dean consistently assault Bo and Curtis with them only once getting a shot in on him. Terrible booking for a face. 3. The worst thing of all, and I’m sure Russ is going to steal this from me, and I’ll allow it, is Dean is the anti Bret Hart. If Bret got “injured” during a match, he sold it and used moves that made sense. With a hurt leg, what are the 2 big things that you shouldn’t successfully do in a match? Climb the ropes or run the ropes. Even if you climb the ropes, you should fall short of your target and when you land, be in incredible pain. If you run the ropes, you should stumble and fall to sell it. I’ve long been a big advocate for Dean, defending him against the heinous and evil Steve every Monday after a PPV that he is in. I can’t do that this week. Whatever insults Steve offers, I will have to choke it down and accept it. Also, why is Maryse no longer bitchy towards Miz?
Rating: 1.5 This match can eat a big fat D. At least Enzo and Cass kept it short and painful.
- Braun Strowman defeated Roman Reigns in an Amberlance Match
Russ: Wow, just wow. So much the WWE did right with this. Yes I’m counting what happened after the match as part of the whole spectacle. The match itself was good it wasn’t earth shattering, but it had its moments. Loved the part where Braun was unphased by the chair shots. Roman took bumps like a champ and he took a lot during this match. I liked when he was thrown off the stage into the ambulance and then a few moments later thrown back onto the stage! Braun going into the TV’s in the back then crawling out was a good moment. However, I like how they ended it. Braun not only showed he is ungodly strong, but he is also clever. Goading Roman into the spear right in front of the ambulance was a good touch. If that were all I’d give this a 5.3 and call it a decent match, but boy did WWE really go all out for this. I’m not going to sit here and describe the whole thing I implore you to watch it! I’ll just say this; I didn’t think that Roman could up the ante in this feud any more than Braun did when he tipped the Ambulance over, boy was I wrong. This was well done, with the minor exception of the match of the night in Curt Hawkins vs. Heath Slater. I really feel cheated for missing parts of that match! This Kentertained me greatly! I felt there was a missed opportunity at the end of this when Braun walked away from the wreck and didn’t scream “Roman, I’m not finished with you yet!” That would have been a perfect ending.
Rating: 6.9, I’d watch the ending again for sure!
Kent: Lots to talk about here. Hopefully Russ hasn’t completely talked about every single one of my points making my comments redundant. The match was OK. No Ambulance match has ever been good, and that’s to be expected. Sorta like a mixed tag team match is never good. Both guys did an admirable job. I enjoyed the match at times. Something really bothered me though about the match and I don’t know why I hadn’t really honed in on this before. I like Roman Reigns. I don’t care how uncool that makes me in the eyes of the loser IWC community. I LOVE how good Roman is at taking a beating, especially against a bigger guy, but even against Finn, Roman sells very well, and he isn’t afraid to jump bigger to make the move look as big as possible. Unfortunately, Roman’s offense against big guys sucks. How is it that Big Show and Braun can have a great technical match, but Roman can’t? Well the reason is because 70% of Roman’s offense revolves around punches, superman punches, and set ups for spears and drive by’s. I get it, shitty booking and direction from higher ups don’t help Roman. Look at how shitty they booked Austin once he got popular. He no longer had great technical matches that he was capable of. It was punches, kicks, stomps, Thesz Press, and Stunner. Look at how Cena was booked for year with his 5 moves of doom, but we have seen what he is capable of when going against an AJ or HBK or Punk pr Daniel. They need Roman to add to his offensive repertoire soon because he is such a boring cliche on offense, and he’s better than that. Anyway, Braun won cleanly. Also, during the match, somebody on commentary said that this match was the most impressive thing that Roman has done in his young career. Yup, and this is why I was so vehemently opposed to Taker jobbing to Roman at Mania. It’s a fucking insult to Taker.
Now, the decision comes as to whether the aftermath counts towards this match rating or the next match. I am counting it towards this match. If you disagree, just know that your opinion is wrong. First off, why didn’t the driver drive away after Braun tapped the back? Are we supposed to overlook this lack of logic? Anyway, Roman comes out and puts Braun in and the Roman tosses the driver out and then drives around and then rams the back end of the ambulance into a trailer.I was fine with that. Here’s where I got annoyed. The commentators acting like Roman was a complete dick to do this. It was so heinous. Are we supposed to forget that Braun threw Roman off a ledge on a stretcher or that he flipped the fucking ambulance? This seems fair to me. Sorry IWC, I am defending Roman again. I love Braun, but it’s not like Roman was a dick for what he did. Then comes Kurt’s great reaction and then Jaime Noble stole the show for a bit. Then to see how bloody Braun was, it was great. The last issue I have is that Braun didn’t scream “Roman, I’m not finished with you!”
Rating: 6.7 as I could easily rewatch this whole segment again with no complaints.
- Heath Slater defeated Curt Hawkins……somehow
Russ: This was match of the night! We saw about 5 seconds of it and the crowd did not even care! They were too focused on what was going on in the back. I’m not sure why this occurred the way it did. I’ll give WWE benefit of the doubt because I’m sure it was hard to coordinate this stunt in live time. And I’ll never forget how Heath won with…
Rating: 7, It was short and put together about as good as the rest of this ppv.
Kent: I am sure this was planned, but how it was done, I don’t know. Did WWE just send them out to buy time to set up everything else in the garage? Did they mismanage time? They clearly had no intentions of showing much of the match. We don’t even know how the match finished. Still, the 2 minutes of the match that I saw was better than the Miz vs Dean match. Yeah, they actually wrestled and applied moves. Also, Heath won and then watched the Titantron with the fans, so that’s cool.
Rating: 2.1 because it was short and sweet and fairly action packed for what it was.
- Brock Lesnar no sold Samoa Joe’s offense and retained his Red Belt
Russ: Ok, I never thought Joe had a chance to beat Brock let’s get that out of the way. So this was all about how they presented Joe in the match. The lead up to the match was well done and gave a glimmer of hope that this could be done well. They didn’t succeed, but they didn’t exactly fail. I thought the beginning of the match was well done, but it went downhill from there. Brock did sell a little, but selling only works if it has an effect. How did he get up the strength to get into the F-5 like that? That really no-sells the Coquina Clutch and it kind of sucks for Joe. This could have been better if it had more time, but it was alright for what it was until the very end.
Kent: I don’t want to talk about this. Joe was perfection. This match should have gone another 5 minutes. More importantly, I am sick of Brock’s matches. Brock knows moves, but he only does suplexes and F-5’s. Brock went down to the Coquina Clutch with ease on RAW 2 weeks ago. Now, not an issue to escape and suddenly have bursts of energy. Not only that, but as we all know, matches where a person suddenly hits a finisher without hurting their opponent and then gets a win, I fucking hate that formula. John Cena probably saw that and was screaming at his TV: “That was bullshit! Brock needs to hit some set up moves or hit his finisher multiple times. This looks fake!” Those are Cena’s exact words….that I created in my mind. Brock needed the hit 3 F-5’s in a row to make Samoa Joe seem more bad ass. Well, good bye Joe’s push and dignity. Can’t wait to see him put over Roman over the fall. BOOOOOO! On the plus side, I don’t have to be positive on Wednesday’s podcast. On the down side, I hate how I feel about this match ending.
Rating: 4.1 Not enough time, bullshit ending, too many Germans, not enough other moves. Joe put on a great match, but Brock undid all of Joe’s greatness. Brock is starting to be the worst part of his matches. He needs to go or let the man wrestle 15-20 minute matches if he wants to be a top guy. This shit is not fun to watch.
Bonus Double Deuce
- Rate the PPV overall
Russ: I am going to give this PPV a 4.3 it had several moments that were enjoyable, but a lot and I mean a lot of moments that were bad or just plain boring.
Kent: Well the average came out to be 3.78 out of all of my ratings. In the interest of fairness, rounding things up, I will say a 3.8. A good PPV should get a high 4 to mid 5 rating. A great PPV is anything about a 5.7 because there are always going to be lousy matches that affect the average. This was mediocre to poor.
- What are your thoughts on what transpired between Dana and Emma on the pre-show, and don’t tell you didn’t watch it, go and watch it. It will take you 2 minutes. It’s at the 21:56 mark of the kickoff show.
Russ: I thought it was interesting, the question is will we see it pay off on RAW? Or will it be like everything else with Emma the answer won’t be revealed for another 8 months. I guess we shall see on Monday. (Kent: We both know the answer to this before it happens.)
Kent: I don’t know. I didn’t watch it. FIne, I’ll go watch it now. I really think stuff like this is what a lot of the lower tier talents need to help establish their character. I liked how Emma was kinda bossy about it, but it was nice for them to acknowledge their history together. Dana shutting Pete down was funny. Otunga asked a good question. Overall, that was better than at least 2 of the matches on the card. Sad but true.
- Name the worst match of the night
Russ: Miz and Dean, I don’t give out the reverse deuce to just any old match and this one was disappointing on several levels.
Kent: Miz vs Dean just beat out Enzo vs Cass and Heath vs Curt. I wish to point out that a 2 minute match between Heath Slater and Curt Hawkins was only the 3rd worst match of the night. Thank about that.
- Name the best match of the night
Russ: Sheasaro Vs. Hardlys. Braun and Roman was great, but the tag match was a better match overall.
Kent: Sheasaro vs the Hardly Boys. Yes, Braun vs Roman got a higher rating, but a large part of that had to do with the after match stuff which made up close to 3 of the points. The match itself was mediocre. The tag team match killed it in quality.I would go so far as to say the women had the second best bell to bell match.
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