Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium – Chapter Fifteen

Man, this week I see a Redshirt and necromantic, not to be confused with the absolutely awful Nekromantik & Nekromantik 2 films.  With that being said, I will not, repeat, will not traumatize you with any video footage from them.  I am busy watching The Simpsons and just saw one of my all time favorite scenes, and there are so many, but this still works on every level.

Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium

Dark Sun Campaign – Chapter 15


One by one Ilana, Alexa, Pane-Pan, and Darkius awoke in a dark chamber, lying upon what felt to be sand.  The first thing they noticed was that all of their weapons, armor, and equipment was gone.  Those with dark vision scanned the room and saw that Coraanu was nowhere to be found.  Additionally, Hookeri’s headless body lay motionless in the sand, with Rock no longer lodged in the neck hole.

Inspecting Hookeri’s body, Darkius saw that Rock had shoved the party’s most value magic items into Hookeri’s chest cavity prior to them sinking into the Sea of Silt.  The items were distributed to their respective owners, with Alexa receiving (temporary?) possession of Coraanu’s Bonesaw.

After the items were distributed to their owners and the party began considering their options, an eerie green light filled the room and the sand began manifesting into the shape of a woman.  The manifestation began talking and introduced herself as the Sand Witch.  The Sand Witch informed the group that Andropinis had promised her great power if she deliver the party’s Orb of Kalid‑Ma to him.  The Orb was excited at this prospect since it wasn’t being used by Ilana and asked that it be handed over.  When the party subsequently refused to turn the orb over, the Sand Witch told the group that she would leave them in the sand cavern to drown once high tide hit, and she would subsequently take the orb off of their bodies.

Upon the Sand Witch dissipating, Darkius prayed to the Earth and asked for the power to walk through the sand to safety.  The spell cast, the group began their long trek to the surface.  They would soon discover that they were trapped, with no food or water, on a tiny island in the middle of the Sea of Silt.

Meanwhile, on the other side of Sand Witch Island, six silt pirates were reevaluating their poor life choices.  While sailing that morning they were caught off guard by a silt storm that resulted in their silt skimmer half-buried in the silt off the coast, most of their supplies floating in the silt, too far to reach, and their captain and the rest of their crew members at the bottom of the Sea of Silt.

After drawing straws, it was decided that new pirate trainee Guy Redshirt would scout the island and look for food and water while others tried to salvage the ship and any supplies.  The first thing Redshirt noticed was that the island was teaming with undead.  As such, he decided to say near the island’s cost and follow it north.  About an hour of walking later, Redshirt was able to see a giant, livable Sand Castle off in the distance.  As he came closer, he noticed patrolling guards of undead circling the castle.  Again, not wanting to draw attention to himself, he continued to follow the coast, which turned to the west as he came around the castle.

Continuing along the coast, Redshirt saw what appeared to be four figures immerging from the sand, an elf, dwarf, thri-kreen, and halfling.  Unlike the other inhabitants of the island, these individuals did not appear to be undead.

With nothing to lose, Redshirt cautiously approached the approached the group.  Redshirt explained that he was searching for food and water for his crew, and that the rest of the crew was working to get their silt skimmer out of the sea.  With their help, he was sure they could accomplish the mission.  While Ilana was suspicious, the group, lacking any food, water, or way off of what appeared to be an island, agreed that working together would be mutually beneficial.

As the group was conversing, three undead Wights approached them from the south.  While the battle was more difficult than usual, considering that the party was under-armed and armored, they were able to defeat the undead after a few minor wounds.  They then looted the bodies for whatever weapons and armor they could find.

Continuing west, the party eventually saw on oasis off in the distance.  Approaching cautiously, they saw that the oasis was the home to two Tlincalli, half-human and half-scorpion creatures.  Unafraid of the party, the two Tlincalli, Rarbo and Zaldurxa, happily conversed with the party.  The two agreed to help the party out with food, water, and any other assistance they could provide, if the party would help them find a new home.  While the oasis provided all they needed, they hated being on Sand Witch island.  Rather, right off the south-western coast was Giant Island, which was much nice.  They wanted the group to get rid of the giants so that they could move to Giant Island.  The party agreed to see what they could do.  As a show of good faith, the Tlincalli provided each group member with a full waterskin.

Turning south, after a few hour’s journey, the party saw a deep hole in the ground.  Approaching, they saw that the hole was, in fact, a pit filled with tens, if not hundreds, of bodies.  The smell was terrible, but the bodies did not appear to move.  Seeing that many of the bodies were still equipped with arms and armor, the party spend the next few hours searching the bodies.  At the end of the third hour, Darkius moved a body and found an entrance to tunnel.  When the tunnel became exposed, Ilana immediately felt a great magical power emanating from the tunnel.  Rather than mess with whatever was below the pit, the group decided to head to Redshirt’s silt skimmer for the evening.

Upon arriving at the silt skimmer wreck, the group saw that the five remaining pirates had failed to pull the silt skimmer out of the Sea of Silt, and they even failed to recover any of the supply crates still bobbing in the silt.  After considering their options, the party and pirates agreed that it would be easier to dispose of the giants than to continue trying to salvage the silt skimmer.

The next morning the group of 10 headed out and they soon saw Giant Island, which was not far off the coast of Sand Witch Island.  Using magic and ropes, they easily crossed the straight, where they were quickly met by a giant.  Luckily the giant, who introduced himself as Vegavith, was the friendliest giant they ever met.  Vegavith invited the party to join he and his wife, Kuurea, at their nearby camp where they had plenty of food and water.

As they party ate and drank their fill, the group told the giants their story, including their desire to leave the island.  Vegavith agreed to carry all of them to the mainland if they would take care of a matter for him.  He informed the party that the body pit to the east of Giant Island was known as the “Undead Pit.”  So called because every morning three of the bodies would rise as undead who wandered the island.  Vegavith told the group that the stench of the Pit was becoming unbearable.  If the group could stop the dead from rising, there would be no need for the Sand Witch to throw more bodies.  Stop the necromantic process, and he would carry them to the mainland.

Having a clear way off Sand Witch Island, the group agreed to the terms.  They assumed the undead animation could be stopped in one of two ways, by killing the Sand Witch, or by following the tunnel underneath the Undead Pit.  They decided to try their luck with the Pit first.

Upon reaching the Pit, the group and their six (counting Redshirt) pirate companions headed down the cave.  After a short journey, they arrived in a spacious cavern.  In the center of the room was an obsidian orb pulsing with necromantic energy, and surrounding it was a number of undead guardians.

The battle was tough, and valuing her own life other the lives of the pirates, she used their souls to power her defiling magic, resulting in the death of two of Redshirt’s compatriots.  After defeating the guardians and shattering the orb, an enraged Redshirt attached Ilana to avenge his comrades.  Equally disgusted with Ilana, Darkius used the magic of the Earth to support Redshirt in battle.

Shrugging off some of Ilana’s most powerful spells (in part thanks to Darkius’ silence spell), Redshirt stabbed Ilana many times with his obsidian rapier, but alas, in the end, the young silt pirate was no match for the experienced defiler, and he died along with his other compatriots.  The remaining pirates scattered to the wind, likely to beg the Sand Witch to help them get vengeance on Ilana.

A terse silence fell between Ilana and Darkius, each feeling that they had been betrayed by the other.  In the end Darkius decided to back down . . . for now.

You can find us at the actual 9 Deuce website where we have the archives as well as other content such as horror movie reviews, wrestling blogs, podcasts, and some other material.  We’re on Facebook, on Twitter @official9deuce, or Tumblr @ superkent92 or Instagram at Official9Deuce .  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question or a comment at kent@9deuce.com.  Hell, you can subscribe via RSS.  Facebook and the website are probably the best bets.  Thank you.

Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium – Chapter Fourteen

I’m not going to lie.  I’m still having difficulty in accepting Hookeri’s name change to that of Dwayne Johnson’s alter ego.  I don’t like it.  I am off his bandwagon.  I am officially putting all of my support behind Darkius.  I have an ESO character named Biz Darkee, so I feel a kinship with Darkius.  I’m already missing the army of the dead in favor of pirates.  The word harlot got tossed around so that does help make up for it.  Speaking of pirates….


Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium

Dark Sun Campaign – Chapter 14


Heading north, the group began their journey to South Ledopolus in the hopes of finding a silt skimmer for their own purposes.  As usual, they traveled at night and rested during the day.  On the second morning during her watch, Ilana noted two lizard-like figures in the distance.  Ilana recognized them as S’surons, a.k.a. lizard men, who were likely out patrolling for their clan.  Ilana called out to them, but due to having no language in common, the S’surons hefted their weapons in a defense position.  Through a series of grunts, groans, and threatening body language, it was conveyed to the lizard men that they should leave, which they did.

Unsure whether the scouts would return with reinforcements, the group decided to force march through the day.  They also took the long path around the nearby salt marshes to lessen the chance of meeting the S’suron clan.

After a few more days of boring travel the party was again moving through a salt flat when the ground began to shake and they heard the sound of a large stampede.  Looking into the distance they saw a giant beast bearing down upon them.  Four elephant like legs, giant claws, and many sharp teeth, it was obvious they were in the path of a Rampager!

Ilana quickly responded by casting Slow on the beast.  This allowed them to get a few shots in before the creature could react.  After sustaining minimal damage, the Rampager broke free of the slow and attacked Rock (the former Hookeri).  As soon as the beast’s claws struck Rock’s weapon, it dissolved into a pool of obsidian goo.  Thinking they might be outmatched, Darkius banished the creature back to the elemental chaos from which it originated.

After a few more days of uneventful travel the group arrived in South Ledopolus.  Upon entering the port town the group decided to head for the nearest inn and were directed to the Spiked Kank Inn.  Just as the adventurers were arriving outside the inn, a woman screamed, “defiler!”, and pointed in Ilana’s direction.  A panic ensued and the sound of half-giant guards came baring down upon the group.

Ilana quickly darted down a side ally and cast Disguise Self to mask her appearance while the other adventurers met with the guards.  As she was exiting the ally to watch the group’s interaction, she saw a wanted poster with her picture on it.  The posters gave her full name and identified her as a “Harlot Defiler and Consort to Demons.”  A 500 gold bounty was offered, and bounty hunters were directed to turn Ilana in to the Balic Templars staying at the Spiked Kank Inn.

Meanwhile, the rest of the group was being grilled about their association with the “Defiler Bitch.”  Luckily, just before they were ordered to the dungeons for torture, three individuals, dressed as Templars from Balic, exited the tavern and said they would speak with the group.  The three Templars, who did not offer their names, purchased lunch, rooms, and drinks for the party.  In exchange, all they wanted was for the group to deliver a message to Ilana.  If she turned the Orb of Kalid-Ma over to Andropinis she would be richly rewarded.  If she refused, the wanted posters would soon appear all over the Tyr region and the Dragon of Tyr might be tipped off that someone is attempting to become a dragon without his permission.  The three Templars then departed.

Undeterred, the party decided not to give in to Andropinis’s demands.  It was still their intention to find a silt skimmer and get Darkius to the Bleak Tower.  Heading to the docks to evaluate their options, the group saw 1) that a bridge was apparently being constructed that would connect North and South Ledopolus; and 2) that said bridge was currently being attacked by giants.

Curious, the adventurers asked a nearby bystander what was happening.  They learned that for the past two-years engineers have been trying to complete this bridge, which would make moving good significantly easier.  Unfortunately, the giants who make their home on a nearby island think that the bridge is being built to allow the “small folk” to take over their flint mines.  Further, while merchant houses such as House Inikia are for the bridge’s construction, other houses are actively opposed and feed into the giant’s paranoia.  Darkius thought briefly about getting involved in the matter considering his ties to House Inikia, but was convinced by Illana, who believes in the property rights of the giants, to leave the issue alone.

Soon after arriving at the docks the group met with Halfling Captain Vallos, who was looking for guards for silt skimmer guards for the next three months.  The three-month circuit would involve multiple stops at various settlements along the silt coast and in Balic.  The group decided that they would join the crew, get to the first port, and then take over the ship as it left the first port.

As the skimmer was taking off the next morning, in order to effectuate their plan, the party went into the slums and found an old, drunk, grizzled, former silt-pirate captain.  They offered the captain booze and money if he would take over navigation of the ship after their mutiny.  The dwarf, named Thelrig, gladly accepted.

The group reported to the silt skimmer the next morning and were assigned their duties, with some guarding during the day and the others at night.  The first two days of the journey were uneventful with the group making new friends and evaluating potential co-conspirators as to their future mutiny and seizing of the vessel.

On day three the group heard a loud crashing sound as a boulder hit the front-right wheel, greatly reducing the speed of the silt skimmer.  Scanning the horizon, the party saw that the boulders originated from a nearby island, and were being thrown by a pair of beast-head giants.  Darkius began using his Mending spell to repair the ship as the rest of the party engaged in a ranged battle with the rock-throwing giants.  Eventually, after Darkius magically repaired the ship, the silt skimmer landed on the island and Alexa proceeded to axe the now-wounded giants to death.

After taking care of the giants, the captain ordered the skimmer to immediately set sale as they had already lost too much time.  Unfortunately, a scant few hours after continuing their journey, the vessel was attacked and boarded by silt pirates.  Ilana was particularly infuriated by this as she could not attack with fireballs due to the fact it would burn down their own skimmer.  Decided to work strategically, Rock proceeded to put many arrows in the pirate captain while the rest of the party killed about half of the pirates.  With the party hurting and the pirates not wanting to take on any more casualties, the two sides parlayed, and the pirates agreed to leave peacefully.

The next few days were uneventful, giving the party plenty of time to discuss their move against the Captain Vallos.  However, before any such plan could be put into action, on the seventh day of travel the winds kicked up and visibility became next to nothing.  Just then, emerging from the silt storm, came two silt elementals that began attacking the party.

Ilana was easily able to remove one of the elementals from the battle by levitating it into the air.  Having removed that elemental from play, the group was able to soundly defeat its brother.  Upon the first elemental going down, the party used their ranged weapons and spells to take pot shots at the other elemental until it died.

Unfortunately for the party, killing the second elemental was the key to setting off a deadly trap.  Upon the death of the second silt elemental, the bodies of the two elementals joined together and created a silt typhoon that broke the silt skimmer in half.  The last thing the group remembered was sinking into the depths of the silt sea . . .


You can find us at the actual 9 Deuce website where we have the archives as well as other content such as horror movie reviews, wrestling blogs, podcasts, and some other material.  We’re on Facebook, on Twitter @official9deuce, or Tumblr @ superkent92 or Instagram at Official9Deuce .  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question or a comment at kent@9deuce.com.  Hell, you can subscribe via RSS.  Facebook and the website are probably the best bets.  Thank you.

Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium – Chapter Thirteen

Welcome back to the greatest blog on the internet at this very moment, maybe even for a few moments, Tales From The Plunderbund Consortium.  Now, if you are anything like me, then you love a good army of the dead.  I try to throw in a YouTube clip every week that somehow ties into something, and well, you should see where I am going with this if you know me at all personally.

Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium

Dark Sun Campaign – Chapter 13

Upon reaching the elven district of Celik, the party decided to regroup and discuss the proper course of action.  Coraanu obviously wanted them to continue their journey to Balic in the hopes of turning in the Orb of Kalid-Ma they had obtained from Kalidnay so that the sorcerer king would fix his broken mind.  Ilana, on the other hand, suggested that they make the two-day journey north back to the reservation so that they could ask Rez about the Orbs of Kalid-Ma.  The group put the options to a vote, with Ilana’s plan winning out.

As usual, the group headed out at night.  Soon after leaving Celik, the group heard a loud insect-like buzzing in the distance.  Consulting their knowledge of nature, the party determined that it was likely the sound of Dune Locusts appointing a new hive master.  Not wanting to fight a swarm of cow-sized insects, the party opted to take the long way around.  Unfortunately, they were not careful enough, and a guard-locust guarding the perimeter noticed them.  Thinking quickly, Ilana and Darkius combined their illusion magics to create the sound of a Mekillot, who love the taste of Dune Locust, coming up behind the insect.  As the locust turned to look for the predator, the group immediately booked it out of there.

After an uneventful days rest, the next evening the group came upon a nearly naked half-elf running towards them.  It was clear that the half-elf was gushing blood from his mouth.  Once the half-elf came within range it became apparent that the half-elf’s tongue had been cut out.  Darkius immediately cast a healing spell to prevent the half-elf from bleeding to death.

Upon saving the half-elf’s life, Pane-Pan used his telepathic powers to allow the half-elf to communicate with the group.  The half-elf introduced himself as Hosfyr.  He and his fiancée Iraviel had been captured by raiders.  He had escaped during his last torture session, however, Iraviel remained a prisoner.  He begged the party to rescue her.

The group decided that they had to choose between one of two options: 1) sell Hosfyr back to the raiders; or 2) kill all the raiders and then take their stuff.  They decided to stake out the camp, evaluate the strength of the raiders, and then make their final decision.

Meanwhile, back in the realm of chaos, headless reanimated Hookeri, now going by the name Roc, decided that he wanted to return to Athas, as he had no interest in being reunited with Hookeri’s old pet.  After two days of meditation, Roc was able to pinpoint the magic energy being radiated by the party’s Orb of Kalid-Ma.  This once again resulted in a portal opening, which Roc then stepped entirely through.  The party was surprised to see a headless Hookeri emerge from yet another portal, but Roc quickly explained the situation to them.  Living in a world of magic and psionics, the group really did not question the explanation.

Arriving at the camp, recon indicated that the raiding group was made up of 10-20 individuals, with two groups of two currently walking the perimeter.  Assuming they could take everyone, the adventurers decided to kill the raiders and take their stuff rather than sell Hosfyr back to the raiders.

In order to deal with the guards, the party decided to have Roc lay motionless in the ground.  The theory being that the guards would come upon the “headless” body and begin looking for signs of danger.  At that point Roc would stand up and kill them.  This strategy proved exceptionally effective.

After taking out the guards, Ilana threw a fireball into the raider camp, killing everyone but their leader who took cover in the camp ruins.  Ilana demanded unconditional surrender, all of the leader’s stuff, including anything he was wearing, and their female half-elf captive, Iraviel.  The leader agreed to send out the captive with 10 silver.  Ilana scoffed at the offer and the party attached.

While the leader was tough, things seemed to be going the party’s way when the leaders weapon broke soon into combat.  Unfortunately, it was then that the party learned the leader had the ability to summon a necrotically powered Death Inix.  Rather than continue to engage the party, the leader decided to cut and run.  However, this was not good enough for Ilana, who cast slow on both the Inix and the leader.  After a few rounds of being unable to escape, the leader turned his Inix around, and was then that the group learned the Inix had a deadly breath weapon, which rendered Ilana unconscious and dying.

Luckily, with Darkius’s healing powers, the group was able to pull through and kill the raider leader, which sent the Death Inix back to hell (or some other relevant evil plane of existence).  The group then looted the caravan.  Unfortunately there was not much to pick over as the leader’s journal explained how the group worked.  They would wait on the road for adventurers and merchants heading to Celik, raid their caravan, and then sell the good in Celik before returning to their own camp.  Is was how Hosfyr and Iraviel were captured.

The raiders defeated, the party turned their attention to more important matters, namely, shaking down Hosfyr.  While Hosfyr did not have any material possession on him, he told the group that he had connections in Celik.  He would ensure that any currently banished group members would receive a pardon and would be allowed back into town.  Hosfyr would also provide the group members with free licenses to both dungeon run and set up a shop in Celik.  The group approved of this offer.  In a show of good faith, Darkius prayed to the spirits of the earth and was able to regrow Hosfyr’s tongue.

Having dealt with the raider situation, the group continued north to the reservation.  As they arrived the following night, they heard the sound of battle off in the distance.  Darkius was able to sense strong non-elemental divine magic in the air, which could only mean one thing, Templars.  Ilana’s undead army was under attack!

The party ran as fast as they could, but were unable to reach the battle before three Templars from Balic had wiped out half of Ilana’s former kinsmen turned undead.  The group arrived just Chief Steven was about to deal the finishing blow to the third Templar.  Rather than stoping Chief Steven and pumping the Templar for info, Ilana decided to let justice be done, and the Templar was killed and subsequently devoured by the undead.

After chatting with the remains of her army, Ilana and the rest of the party headed to the stream to speak with Rez.  During the walk, Darkius has an in-depth chat with Ilana about what the hell was going on, during which Ilana was surprisingly forthcoming.

Upon reaching Rez, the spirit of the stream noted that she could feel the power of the first Orb of Kalid-Ma, and she complimented Ilana on surviving the trials of the vault.  Ilana asked how the orb would assist in turning into a dragon.  Rez explained that as part of the long and painful transformation process, a mage is required to swallow a number of obsidian orbs during each metamorphosis.  The Orbs of Kalid-Ma are rumored to be powerful artifacts that Kalid-Ma used to speed along the transformation process.  Rumor and legend says that a mage who swallows all five orbs will drastically reduce the amount of time it would take to become a dragon, however, some believe that any mage foolish enough to do so risks being possessed by the spirits possessing the artifact orbs.

Ilana thanked Rez for her honestly, and the group departed, heading north to South Ledopolus.


You can find us at the actual 9 Deuce website where we have the archives as well as other content such as horror movie reviews, wrestling blogs, podcasts, and some other material.  We’re on Facebook, on Twitter @official9deuce, or Tumblr @ superkent92 or Instagram at Official9Deuce .  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question or a comment at kent@9deuce.com.  Hell, you can subscribe via RSS.  Facebook and the website are probably the best bets.  Thank you.

Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium – Chapter Twelve

In this week’s Tales From the Plunderbund Consortium, there may or may not be an orb…..there is.  Speaking of orbs, here’s a video of an orb that I have long been a fan of and I hope that if you have never seen these films, maybe you will seek them out.

Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium

Dark Sun Campaign – Chapter 12

As Illana continued to look Dimebag’s broken and liquefied body, the other adventurers came down the hallway to see what was up.  While it was obvious that Dimebag had fallen into a trap, some of the party member had their suspicions that Illana had deliberately sprung the trap.  Any such beliefs were kept to themselves, however.

No knowing what to do with the body, the party simply had Illana drop the giant stone back on Dimebag to act as sort of a makeshift grave.  They then continued down to the end of the hallway to what appeared to be a dead end.  Working together, the adventurers discovered the stone sconce that, once turned, opened a secret door.

Upon the door opening, the group was confused at it appeared to lead right back into the room where they fought the air elementals.  However, upon re-entering the room, several wax blobs that had been lying around the room began to congeal in a nearby shallow pit in the floor.  The blobs came together and then disappeared into the floor, leaving behind a wooden box that emanated strong magic.

As Illana had not prepared the Identify spell that day, she was unable to determine the function of the box.  The party decided to continue searching the dungeon and worry about the box later.  As they were walking, Pane-Pan asked to carry the box, and Coraanu handed it over.  Pane-Pan then used his immense psychic power to form a vision in his mind of the box’s previous owner.  In his mind, he saw a human standing over the box on the shores of the Sea of Silt.  The human uttered a single key word, which resulted in the box “unfolding” and eventually taking the shape of a silt skimmer.  Despite learning the function of the box, Pane-Pan declined to share with the group what he learned.

Continuing, the group eventually came to another room.  As the door was not trapped, Coraanu had Alexa kick the door in so the party could immediately engage with any guardian that undoubtedly lurked within.  As the door flung open, the adventurers saw six imps standing over the body of a woman it appeared they were about to sacrifice.  Unfortunately, the group had no time to consider how the woman got down here, as the imps attacked.

During the fighting with the imps, Coraanu felt a strange sensation wash over him.  He then saw the woman rise from the ground and walk over to him.  The woman transformed and sprouted wings, revealing herself to be a succubus.  Having fallen for her charms earlier, Coraanu allowed her to lean in for a kiss.  Luckily for Coraanu, the succubus was distracted by the cuteness of Hookeri’s new pet, and she was only able to peck Coraanu on the cheek, saving him from certain death.  Free from her charms, Coraanu and friends made short work of the succubus and remaining imps.

As the party searched the room, a dwarf entered the room.  The party recognized him from their time in Gulg, it was Dimebag’s genetically superior brother, Darkius.  Darkius explained that he had been training to become an earth cleric, and that he had learned from the element of earth of Dimebag’s insane plan to track down the obsidian man.  He had thought to stop Dimebag himself, but it appeared that the giant block of stone had do it instead.  Still needing to stop the obsidian man itself, Darkius asked to join the party.  Desperately in need of a health, the group agreed.

After the battle the group pressed on into the dungeon, fearing that if they took too many breaks night would fall, the mists would enter the dungeon, and they would disappear like everyone else who was ever caught in the Kalidnay mists.  As they continued through, they fought giant magical snakes, found a chest full of silver coins and spell tablets, and Coraanu was nearly killed after setting off a scythe trap.

At one point during their journey they came upon a shrine to what appeared to be a former ruler of Kalidnay.  Inspecting the shrine, it was obviously corrupted and it appeared that any who dared passed would be attacked with necrotic power.  Sensing the shrine’s evil, Darkius prayed to the earth and learned a 30-minute ritual that would dispel the corruption.  Bored and not wanting to wait that long, Pane-Pan decided to see what would happen if the magic box found earlier was placed on the alter.  The Folding Silt Skimmer exploded in a flash of magical light.

Eventually the group found a hidden chamber.  Within this room was a pedestal holding a small obsidian orb.  Sensing its immense magical and psionic power, Coraanu immediately threw his bag over top of the orb.  Indignant, the orb telepathically communicated with Coraanu demanding to be handed over to, “the hottie with the actual magical power, not your spirit magic mekillot crap.”  Coraanu declined the orb’s offer and did not tell Illana that the orb wished to speak with her.

Upon removing the orb from the pedestal, a wall shifted revealing a small, secret room, on the floor of which appeared to be a teleportation circle.  After much experimentation and using Hookeri’s new pet as bait, the party discovered the world’s slowest portal.  It takes approximately one hour to teleport someone from the Vault of Kalidnay to one of the ruined towers above.

Due to the slow nature of the portal, the group found that night had fallen and the streets were covered in mist.  As such, they would have to camp in the ruined tower for the night.  Unfortunately, the bringing together of the Orb of Khalid-Ma with the Rock of Getting Eating by a Roc in Kalidnay led to a portal being open and the emergence of horned devil Sthaggaxtrix, boyfriend to Niansu the Marilith (and current owner of Hookeri’s first pet).

After a brief fight, Ilana used her knowledge of “music horned devils totally hate” to create a minor illusion of vaguely technotronic pop music.  However, being unwilling to simply allow the [] to leave, Hookeri leaped onto its back.  The two then went on a flight around Kalidnay, had a chat, and became bros.  Based upon their newfound friendship, it was decided they would return to the group’s camp, reopen the portal, and Sthaggaxtrix would return home.  Unfortunately for the pair, upon seeing them flying overhead, Illana turned the music back on.  To make the ear bleeding pain stop, Sthaggaxtrix dive bombed the camp.  As the horned devil did so, the portal reopened, and the two traveled back to Sthaggaxtrix’s home plane.

Having no idea how to return home, Hookeri agreed to accompany Sthaggaxtrix back to his home in the nearby demon city.  Meanwhile, back at the camp, the remaining members of the party heard a screech and looked to the sky.  Bearing down of them was the giant bird, the Roc, that had attached them previously.  Just as it looked like it was about to attack the camp, the bird appeared to use its beak to tear open the prior portal.  On the other side, Hookeri saw the head of the Roc coming right for him.  While he briefly considered jumping on the Roc and returning home, he decided discretion was the better part of valor and he asked Sthaggaxtrix to get them the hell out of there.  Unable to pursue its prey, the Roc exited the portal and flew away.

The orb in their possession, the party was ready to leave the cursed city of Kalidnay.  That is, until, Alexa reminded them all that she needed to locate the ghost of Battlemaster Zehiron, who had once trained Nok in the art of fighting.  Having no idea where the ghost might be, the group consulted Maraquen’s map, and found that in the south-western part of the city it was known to be an area of high hauntings.  As they headed to that area of the city, a pale, white dwarf ran past them yelling, “g-g-g-ghost!” and continued on into the dessert.

Assuming they were in the right place, they continued on and eventually ran into a rather dapper looking Mul ghost wielding a variety of weapons.  Alexa introduced herself and said that she had come to seek training from the man who had once trained Nok in the ways of battle.  The ghost of Battlemaster Zehiron told Alexa that he would be happy to enter into a training contract with her, there was simply one problem.  His existing contract with Rog Lowe, leader of the Mekillot Maulers.

Zehiron explained that thousands of years ago in life he was a “sword saint,” a mystical swordsman who channeled the power of the gods into his blade.  Since the death of the gods, many individuals have come to him seeking sword saint training, and in all cases they died during the process.  Rob Lowe, on the other hand, has survived the process and is close to what would have been the completion of training more than a millennia ago.  Having a student survive the training has illuminated Zehiron to the fact that, with the gods dead, no one will ever again become a sword saint, including Rob.  Because the contract between Zehiron and Rob was to make Rob a sword said, Zehiron will be forced to train Rob until the contract is otherwise broken.

Zehiron made clear that the contract would be broken if Rob Lowe was dead, however, he was open to the group finding other ways to nullify the contract.  The adventurers then followed Zehiron to the Maulers base where he was scheduled for a training session with Rob.  The group took up positions outside the camp to observe.  As Zehiron neared the camp the group heard someone say, “hey Zehiron, watch this.”  At which point a brute of a man took a steel greatsword and proceeded to cut down five Maulers surrounding him.  The man turned to Zehiron and said, “so, am I a sword saint yet?”

Upon Rob Lowe asking that question, Pane-Pan drilled into his mind.  He then manipulated Rob’s mind and convinced him that Zehiron answered back that, “yes, yes you are a sword said now.”  Zehiron then asked Rob to knock on his sword three times, which would officially end the contract.  Rob did so and Zehiron and the group quickly left Mauler territory.  Zehiron then informed Alexa that the training would take 250 days of intense work.  However, he could possess an object on her person and they could begin training once she had a safe place and the necessary supplies to do so.  Alexa had him possess her gauntlets.

Done with their perspective missions and Kalidnay, the group had to decide where to head to next.  Pane-Pan wanted to head far north to the Temple of the Sky serpent, while Coraanu wanted to head east to Balic.  Pane-Pan agreed to travel to Balic since it was much closer.  During their travel that evening they nearly wandered into an Earth Drake that was hunting in the area.  Luckily, they moved quickly and found a hidden grotto that kept them safe from the hunting beast.

As they were going to be stuck there for a while, and because Pane-Pan assumed his fellow clutch mate was dead, Pane-Pan asked to hold a Thri-Kreen death ceremony for the fallen Hookeri.  As he began do dance around and make chittering noises as Thri-Kreen do, Pane-Pan’s psychic energy mixed with that of the Orb of Kalid-Ma and opened a portal similar to the one that had summoned the horned devil previously.

Hookeri, who had made it to the accursed city with Sthaggaxtrix and was chilling at his home, suddenly saw a portal open before him.  Unsure whether he should walk through it, he instead stuck his head through, at which point he saw his adventuring companions performing some weird ritual.  Suddenly, Hookeri sense that magic was failing, and he decided to pull his head back rather than take the time to walk through the portal.  Unfortunately, he was not quick enough and the portal closed, leaving his head in Athas and the rest of his body in the accursed realm.  Darkius then case Gentile Repose on the head in order to keep it preserved, and they bagged the head and took it with them.

Meanwhile, in the accursed realm, sensing that yet another friend of his was dead, the Rock of Getting Eaten by a Roc rolled out of Hookeri’s pocket.  Seeing Hookeri’s headless body, he rolled himself around the body to the bloody stump and implanted himself in the spinal column.  Hookeri’s body then stood up . . .

You can find us at the actual 9 Deuce website where we have the archives as well as other content such as horror movie reviews, wrestling blogs, podcasts, and some other material.  We’re on Facebook, on Twitter @official9deuce, or Tumblr @ superkent92 or Instagram at Official9Deuce .  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question or a comment at kent@9deuce.com.  Hell, you can subscribe via RSS.  Facebook and the website are probably the best bets.  Thank you.


Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium – Chapter Eleven

This week, Hookeri is back and talking to rocks, and some of the others are checking out coin purses.  It’s sure to be another excellent chapter in the series that just keeps on keeping on.  Since this is Chapter Eleven, I decided to celebrate Stranger Things season 2 with this video of a fan favorite, Miss Eleven.

Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium

Dark Sun Campaign – Chapter 10

Having driven off the Roc, the adventurers entered the ruined city outpost of Celik.  The road led directly into a bazaar frequented by a number of shop owners and adventurers with licenses to sell goods and/or raid the ruins of Celik from House Maraneth.

Hookeri broke off from the group in order to find Dorlar, owner of the talking rock, while Alexa and Pane-Pan went drinking at one of the nearby tents.  Illana, ever the opportunist, scanned the bazaar for any celebrating adventurers who looked both drunk and weighed down with coin from their recent tomb raidings.

Illana soon spied a drunk young man stumbling away from a drinking tent.  Not trusting her own abilities, for some reason she thought it would be a good idea to bring Dimebag and Coraanu in on the action.  As part of the plan, Dimebag sold the young man some drugs so that he would pull out his coin purse, Coraanu then distracted him, and Illana then went to swipe the coin purse during the distraction.  Unfortunately for Illana she fumbled the attempt and the drunk young man called out to his friends.

Having no respect for humanoid life, Illana cast Disguise Self and made herself look like the mark.  Then, when the friends arrived, she took advantage of their confusion to cast Thunderwave, destroying a number of shop tents and injuring numerous bystanders (luckily in Athas all demihumans are strong enough to eat a Thunderwave without dying).  Illana and Dimebag then ran from town (after Dimebag swiped the original mark’s coinpurse).

For some reason, Coraanu stayed in the center of town to greet the advancing House Maraneth Half-Giant platoon that had been called out to stop the violence.  After Coraanu was identified as one of the perpetrators, a representative of House Maraneth told Coraanu that the punishment for this transgression was to pay back double what was stolen or exile.  As the mark’s friends claimed that mark had at least 2 gold on him, Coraanu would have had to pay 4 gold in restitution.  Coraanu chose exile instead.

As he was not yet banished from town, Hookeri began asking around for the talking rock’s owner, Darlar.  Unfortunately, Hookeri soon learned that a few months ago Darlar went on a ruins delve and never returned.  He is presumed dead by the populace of Celik.

It was at this point that Hookeri decided to sit down with and have a one-on-one conversation with the talking rock.  The rock revealed that his name was, “The Rock of Getting Eaten by a Roc”.  Darlar was apparently a powerful psion who had used his powers to train a Roc to serve as a flying mount.  He and his wife lived in Tyr.  After learning of Darlar’s “pet,” a Templar demanded that the giant bird be turned over to the state.  Refusing, a battle ensued and Darlar’s wife died in the conflict.

Grief stricken, Darlar fled to Celik and began constructing the psionic rock.  It was Darlar’s intention that the rock fall into the hands of the Templar, at which point the Templar would be eaten by the Roc.  The plan was a success.  Unfortunately, being a sentient rock with no other directive, the rock began seeking out individuals to bring him back to his master in Celik.  Travel was slow as the new owners kept getting eaten by the Roc.  With his master presumably gone, the rock and Hookeri agreed to travel together in the hopes of breaking the getting eaten curse and possibly finding the rock a new purpose in life.  The rock suggested starting their search in Darlar’s old home in Tyr.

As half the party was no longer welcome in Celik, the party stocked up on supplies at the local elven district of Celik and continued on toe Kalidnay.  During the eight day journey they were not attacked by any foes, however, they did have a few unnerving experiences.  First, they came across a dead litter of newborn Bazraags, which is considered to be a particularly bad omen.  While nobody noticed it at the time, their leathery skin was the same color as Dimebag’s prized jacket.

A few days later, the group entered a dark and blighted section of the desert.  As Dimebag went to comment on the grim-dark world around them, he found that his words were coming out of Illana’s body.  Illana went to investigate, and found that her mind was now in Dimebag’s body.  She opined that they were in a cursed section of the desert and that they need to leave the area in order to get back into their own bodies.

While traveling out of the area Dimebag (as Illana) decided he (she?) wanted to try casting magic.  Despite Illana’s (as Dimebag) warnings, Dimebag-llana cast a firebolt that promptly went out of control and resulted in Illana’s body taking some significant burns.  Angry, Illana injected Dimebag’s body with a variety of his high grade drugs.

After leaving the cursed land the adventurers traveled a bit farther and arrived at Kaliday just before sunrise.  At that time they saw the city ruins covered in a fine white mist that retreated and disappeared as the sun rose behind them.  Knowing they were on a time limit, they headed to the city and, using their map provided by Maraquen along with Illana’s knowledge of the location of the Vault of Kalidnay, quickly found the location of the Vault in the palace district.

Unfortunately, this had now become the hunting grounds of an Alpha Tembo.  Luckily, it has no ranged attacks and bad saves so Illana was able to levitate it and the other adventurers just range attacked it to death.

Entering the Vault, the party found it to be pitch black.  While many in the group stayed back with Alexa and her torch, others chose to scout ahead relying solely on their darkvision.  After unlocking and de-trapping the door to a nearby room, the party found themselves engaged in a fierce battle with two air elemental Vault guardians.  The party was battered and blown about but eventually came out victorious.

The room, however, did not reward the group for their efforts.  The only notable things in the room were an empty pit and several wax blobs scattered throughout the room.  Frustrated by this lack of loot, Dimebag had Coraanu unlock the other door in this room and then he went off scouting ahead, followed closely by Illana.

As Dimebag was relying solely on his darkvision to investigage, he missed the pressure plate to the trap set above.  Immediately, a two-ton block of stone fell from the ceiling.  Still greatly inhibited by the large quantity of drugs injected into his system when Illana was in control of his body, Dimebag was unable to react in time.  The stone crushed Dimebag’s body into a fine paste much the way Dimebag would use mortar and pestle to create his drugs.

Reacting to this tragedy the only way she knew how, Illana cast levitate on the rock and looted Dimebag’s body.

At the same time, another dwarf familiar to the party also entered the Vault.  As the life was crushed out of Dimebag’s body, a cold chill passed through the dwarf’s body.  Was he too late, or had the Earth drawn him to this place at exactly the right time?

You can find us at the actual 9 Deuce website where we have the archives as well as other content such as horror movie reviews, wrestling blogs, podcasts, and some other material.  We’re on Facebook, on Twitter @official9deuce, or Tumblr @ superkent92 or Instagram at Official9Deuce .  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question or a comment at kent@9deuce.com.  Hell, you can subscribe via RSS.  Facebook and the website are probably the best bets.  Thank you.

For the rest of 2017, if you see this logo, click on it to go see the updated list of my 100 Horror Movies In October Marathon that got extended for reasons beyond my control.

Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium – Chapter Ten

Sorry for the one day delay, but it’s finally here, the glorious 10th chapter in everybody’s favorite tale that comes from a consortium with the name Plunderbund.  We are all still mourning the loss of Hookeri’s pet, but the quest must go on.  In honor of Hookeri’s rage, and apparent ass whooping, I give you this gem.

Dark Sun Campaign – Chapter 10

DM’s Note:  At the end of the previous session, the player who plays Hookeri was going to to have Hookeri attack Illana out of rage and grief for the loss of his beloved pet.  However, that player failed to show up for this session.  As such, it has been assumed by all that Illana absolutely wiped the floor with Hookeri during that fight.

Having sealed a demonic portal, but earning little in the way of money or fame for their efforts, the party returned to the Olivian compound to discuss their next plan of action.  While eating their continental lunch, Pane-Pan saw Headmaster Wiggin from the University of Inix being dragged, beaten and bloody, through the manor by two half-giant guards.  Being ever nosy, the group followed.

The half-giants dragged the Headmaster down the hall to a door that appeared to head towards a basement.  Exiting the door were the head of the Olivian noble family, Giovvo Olivian, and a masked fellow who obviously looked to be a torturer.  Giovvo reiterated to Wiggin that, per their arrangement, the Headmaster was to psionically protect his son Girias at all times, in exchange for the Olivian family supporting his failing psionicist academy.  Assuming Wiggin sold his son out (half-true, Wiggin simply didn’t stop Pane-Pan from killing Girias), and unable to interrogate Wiggin through psionics (due to Wiggin being a powerful Psion when he hasn’t been beaten half to death), he had arranged to get the information from Wiggen the old fashioned way (physical torture).

Knowing that Pane-Pan (and possibly Coraanu) would be exposed as the murderer should the torture work, Coraanu stepped in.  In a dazzling display of cunning linguistics, Coraanu was able to convince Giovvo that members of the Jura Dia elf tribe had conducted a raid on the Olivian pool house and that Girias was killed during the execution of the plan.  As this supported the girlfriend’s accounting of events, Giovvo was convinced.  However, he told Headmaster Wiggin that due to his failures the Giovvo family would not contribute another dime to the University of Inix and he looked forward to seeing it go out of business.

Appreciating the fact that Wiggin had allowed him to kill Girias, and wanting to have a powerful psion on his side, Pane-Pan asked Dimebag if House Inikia might be open to sponsoring the school as it would be a great please for them to sell their mind enhancing “spices.”  Dimebag set up a meeting with House Trader Osdac.

While the meeting seemed to be going well at first, Osdac was having trouble picturing how such a small school could generate enough profit to warrant the effort.  It was then that Coraanu remembered that “they had another school,” specifically, the government run Defiler Academy.  Together, they came up with the brilliant idea of investing in the Defiler Academy, where the spices would be all the rage, and then investing some of the profits into the University of Inix.  Helping such a small school that offers scholarships to poor free citizens who normally couldn’t afford psionicist school would counteract the negative publicity that normally would have resulted from working with defilers, who are hated across Athas.

As a reward for their help, Pane-Pan was enrolled in the University of Inix.  He was provided a long-distance learning obsidian orb that would allow him to study at the school no matter where he adventured in Athas.

Feeling that they accomplished all they could in Balic, the party decided to head back west to the ruins of Kalidney some of the party members had business there.  Before leaving, Coraanu decided to look into Kalidney’s history.  Apparently, many centuries ago, all of the people of Kalidney disappeared overnight.  During the day the former city-state appears to be any other abandoned city or outpost, however, at night, a white mist rolls thought the streets.  It is said that anyone caught in the mist disappears forever.

Despite the dangers, raiders, monsters, and those who simply don’t want to be found do live in Kalidney.  They simply retreat to safe areas that remain untouched by the mists each evening.  Intrigued, Coraanu sought information on anyone in Balic who had adventured in Kalidney and soon learned of Maraquen, a female half-elf who lived there for a year while ducking her creditors in Tyr.

Coraanu and friends tracked Maraquen to the fight club she hosted every night.  Approaching her, Coraanu offered to put their best fighter against hers, and if their fighter won Maraquen would take the party to Kalidney.  [DM’s Note: I honestly don’t remember what was agreed would happen if the players lost]

 To the surprise of nobody, the adventurers offered up Alexa as their champion.  They then bet whatever money they could on Alexa winning.  When all was said and done Alexa pretty handily whooped her opponent, and completed the prop bets of “choking out her opponent” and “making her opponent cry.”  [DM’s Note:  Yes, the players really did get the opponent to cry (or at least make it look like he was crying.  Unfortunately, due to the amount of beer I had consumed at this point, I can’t remember how they did it]

 Admitting defeat, Maraquen, who had a good thing going in Balic, asked if she could modify their agreement.  Rather than accompany the adventurers, she would draft a map of the areas safe from the mists in Kalidnay, and she would also arrange for the adventurers to travel in a caravan with some newbie adventurers heading to the ruins of Celik which is close to Kalidnay.  The party agreed to the terms.

The adventurers met with the newbies the next day and set off.  While the party mostly kept to themselves, Pane-Pan, the ever-social bug, tried to make friends and offer advice to the younglings.  That was, until, the caravan ran afoul of giant desert locus that swarmed the caravan and separated the adventurers from Pane-Pan and the newbies.  Rather than protect the newbies, Pane-Pan risked chitin and three of six limbs to run through the swarm and fight with the party instead.  The PCs fought off their locus rather easily, while the newbies survived but got pretty messed up.

A day or two later some of the group members could see the ruins of some building that had previously been buried in a sand dune.  As they approached they saw an altar, and before manifested a Raaig, a ghostly guardian spirit.  The adventurers learned that the spirt had killed herself out of despair when her god, the god of the temple, had disappeared and/or been killed a millennia ago.  Despite being a ghost, Pane-Pan was able to use his psionic powers to mess with her ghost mind and bring her peace . . . for approximately five minutes.  During those five minutes she allowed the group to turn some of their food into potions of healing by touching them to the alter.  The Raaig, touched by Pane-Pan’s words, asked if he would be willing to become a Raaig himself and stay with her at the temple forever.  In exchange, she would provide great power to everyone else in the party.  While they all liked the terms of the deal, Pan-Pan did not and rejected the offer.  At that point they all got the hell out of town as the five minutes were almost up and they weren’t sure if the Raaig would appreciate having its ghost emotions manipulated.  The scrams they latter heard echoing over the dunes gave indication that they were right.

That night, while on watch, the adventurers (who weren’t on guard) awoke to the sounds of lute music emanating from the desert.  The first course of action was for Ilana to use her magic to instigate a magical lute music duel, which became louder and louder and lasted until Illana got bored and quit.  Investigating, the group soon found that the music was emanating from a lute being held by a skeleton.  Most of the group wanted to get the hell out of there, but Dimebag, who really, really, hates lutes, picked the lute up and smashed it over his knee.  This resulted in the skeleton exploding and attempting to tear Dimebag into a 1,000 tiny, fleshy pieces.  Somehow, Dimebag was able to shuck and jive and avoid getting torn into dimebag-sized pieces of Dimebag.

After the excitement of a lute that played itself, the next morning while traveling the group heard the sounds of someone calling for help.  They soon learned that the request for help was coming from a talking rock.  Apparently, the rock was trying to get back to its master in, named Dorlas, in Celik.  Unfortunately, the individual transporting him had been eaten by a gargantuan bird.  Despite everyone wanting to get as far away from the talking rock as possible, including by throwing it into the desert, Hookeri took the rock for himself.

Low and behold, approximately 1 hour outside of Celik, a giant bird (a Roc to be exact) swooped out of the sky and attacked Hookeri.  An intense battle occurred, in which the Roc tried on multiple occasions to fly away with Hookeri and the talking Roc.  Rather than simply let the Roc have the rock, the group fought until the Roc (and Hookeri) was severely injured.  Expecting this was not last they would be hearing from that damn bird, the group completed their trek to the ruined outpost of Celik.

You can find us at the actual 9 Deuce website where we have the archives as well as other content such as horror movie reviews, wrestling blogs, podcasts, and some other material.  We’re on Facebook, on Twitter @official9deuce, or Tumblr @ superkent92 or Instagram at Official9Deuce .  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question or a comment at kent@9deuce.com.  Hell, you can subscribe via RSS.  Facebook and the website are probably the best bets.  Thank you.

For the rest of 2017, if you see this logo, click on it to go see the updated list of my 100 Horror Movies In October Marathon that got extended for reasons beyond my control.

Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium – Chapter Nine

Today is Halloween and that means….absolutely nothing in the grand scheme as far as the Plunderbund Consortium.  On the other hand, this is my favorite holiday so today, I give you my last spooky themed music video for awhile.  This is from my favorite horror film of all time, Nightmare on Elm Street 3.  If you’ve ever heard of this band, then you know the song.  Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you…..Dokken.  Thank you for checking us out.

In case you missed any of the past blogs/chapters, just go to 9Deuce and look through the archives and start from the beginning to get the full experience.

Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium

Dark Sun Campaign – Chapter 9

The day was finally here, Coraanu was to meet with Balic’s Sorcerer King, Andropinis, at his castle in the Magaleon.  Believing this to be his chance to scope out High Defiler Vaerhirmana, Coraanu convinced Illana to come with him well ahead of the meeting so that they could scope out the magic school where the defiler taught prior to his meeting.

Upon reaching the entrance to the Magaleon, Coraanu and Illana were immediately shuffled in.  Coraanu was told showing up extra early was a particularly good idea.  After entering the Magaleon, the pair identified the magic school and headed over.  Entering the magic school, the two started talking to the receptionist, who identified the pair as more pro-environment, anti-magic journalists looking to write a damning news article.  She quickly ushered them into the office of public relations.

While in the office they met with an individual who gave them the party line.  “While it is regrettable that defiling magic has a negative impact on the environment, such magic is necessary to secure the defense and economy of Balic.”  After the rehearsed speech was over, Coraanu began asking about Vaerhirmana.  They were told that Vaerhirmana was a very well-liked and important teacher at the school, and that they could sit in on his afternoon lecture if they so choose.  As the lecture fell during Coraanu’s meeting with Andropinis, they agreed that Illana would stay for the lecture.

Upon reaching Andropinis’ palace, Coraanu was quickly ushered into the throne room, where he came face to face with the old, yet imposing, visage of Andropinis.  The sorcerer king informed Coraanu that he first became aware of Coraanu when the scrying magics he had placed near the Rez informed him that new visitors had come to see his “old friend Rez.”  As he was monitoring the party to discover who had drawn Rez’s attention, he was drawn to Coraanu, as he noted that Coraanu’s mind had been severely tampered with by a combination of magic and psionics that were on a sorcerer king level.

Interested in who could have done this to Coraanu, the sorcerer king offered to reverse the damage if he were to perform a task.  Andropinis informed Coraanu that Rez always tells her new “champions” about the location of a vault in the ruins of Kalidney.  In that vault supposedly lies an artifact, one of the orbs of Kalid-Ma.  However, no one who has ever entered the vault has ever escaped alive.  Andropinis told Coraanu that if he retrieves the obsidian orb for him, he would be happy to uncover whatever has been deeply buried in Coraanu’s mind.  At which point Andropinis informed Coraanu he could leave.

Completely shaken by this information, Coraanu decided not to attend the end of Vaerhirmana’s lecture and instead waited for Illana, who had found the lecture boring as she pretty much knew everything taught that day.  Illana attempted to talk with Coraanu about what happened at the meeting, but he remained tight lipped.

The next morning, Pane-Pan informed the group that he was ready to take revenge for his clutch and murder Girias Olivian.  Being able to stay at the Olivian plantation allowed Pane-Pan to learn that Girias had been staying in the guest house at the edge of the plantation as he studied to enter the military academy.  After days of observation, Pane-Pan learned that the guest house included Girias, his teacher, his girlfriend, 4 half-giant guards, and 20 Olivian house soldiers.  Girias’s day included outside training in the morning, breakfast and study inside, lunch, weapons training outside, independent study, dinner with the girlfriend and teacher, then free time and bed.

After considering the available options, Pane-Pan decided that he and Coraanu would consume their fruits of invisibility, sneak in after dark, and murder-stab Girias to death.  Upon reaching the guest house, the two saw that it was guarded by two of the half-giants.  Coraanu, hiding in the shadows, used his minor illusion spell to create a distraction.  After one of the guards left to investigate, Pane-Pan used his mental powers to convince the others that his mother had fallen very ill and that he had to rush home to take care of her.  The half-giant failed to resist Pane-Pan’s mental thrust and he rushed off into the night.

The pair then consumed their fruits and snuck into the house.  As they entered Girias’s bedroom, they saw that he was joined by his girlfriend.  Unfortunately for them, they set off the girlfriend’s psionic sensor, and she awoke, waking Girias and warning him that someone was in the house.  Still invisible, Pane-Pan infused his weapon with psychic power and struck hard at Girias while at the same time flooding his mind with images from when Girias and his friends slaughtered Pane-Pan’s clutch.  Though much damage was done to Girias, Pane-Pan failed to land a killing blow, and the attack caused the invisibility spell to drop.

The girlfriend then responded by using her immense psychic power to banish Pane-Pan to a labyrinthian pocket dimension.  To free him, Coraanu attached the girlfriend and broke her concentration on the spell.  Returning from the pocket dimension, Pane-Pan asked the girlfriend to step back and let justice be done.  The girlfriend agreed to step out of the fight as long as they left her to ransack the place and make it look like a robbery gone wrong as soon as the deed was done.  Agreeing to the terms, Pane-Pan proceeded to tear Girias into little chunks.

The next morning things at the Olivian compound were in disarray with rumors of an attack and the death of Girias.  As it did not appear that suspicion had fallen on the adventurers, they decided to “step out” and investigate the Mount Laeron dungeon map they had previously bought from an elf.

Finding the entrance, Coraanu scouted on ahead until he found a room, which appeared to have been a makeshift sleeping quarter, covered in blood, but without bodies or skeletons to indicate who, or what, left the blood.  As he tried to leave the room to report, Coraanu walked into a forcefield and was violently thrown back into the room.

Wondering what was taking so long, the others came to investigate.  When Coraanu informed about the trap, Dimebag, Pane-Pan, and Hookeri entered the room, while Alexa took a, “lets wait to see what happens approach” and Illana informed the party that, “I don’t enter rooms that don’t let me out.”

Opening the door, the party members in the room saw a demonic portal guarded by a Hezrou demon (a being of mostly claws and teeth).  The party decided that they were going to lure the demon back into the blood room.  Unfortunately for the rest of the party, Hookeri’s pet Jakar ran into the room to attack the Hezrou and was promptly left dying on the floor.  When Hookeri ran in to stabilize the pup, the entire plan went to hell.  Everyone (except Illana) then ran into the room and engaged the demon.

After being significantly damaged by the adventurers, the Hezrou placed a forcefield around himself and summoned 10 lesser demons from the portal.  Luckily, despite not passing the forcefield in the other room, Illana was able to throw a fireball thought the open door into the portal room, killing nearly all of the lesser demons instantaneously.  Unluckily for Hookeri’s Jakar, it was caught in the blast, killing it outright.

Enraged at the loss of its minions, the Hezrou dropped the forcefield and resumed its attack.  During this time Dimebag came up with the ingenious to tie the dead Jakar to a rope and throw it into a portal to see what would happen.  As it so happened, a Marilith demon (giant half-snake lady with many arms all holding weapons) was slithering past the portal and saw the dead Jakar land in her dimension.  Thinking that the Jakar was adorable, she picked up the pooch with the intention of resurrecting it as a demon-Jakar that she would carry around in her purse and show off to all of her friends at demonic tea time.  Dimebag felt a tug on the rope.

Feeling the tug, Dimebag pulled on the rope.  The Marilith emerged from the portal, looked at Dimebag holding the rope and said, “Are you trying to take my puppy!!!!!”  Petrified with fear, Dimebag said, “no ma’am” and dropped the rope.  The Marilith then returned to the demon realm with her soon to be resurrected and snuggled demon pet.

With the Marilith gone, the adventurers were easily able to finish off the Hezrou demon.  Upon killing it the portal closed and the forcefield dropped.  After the adrenaline of battle subsided, Hookeri fell to his knees and cried out, grieving the loss of his beloved pet.

You can find us at the actual 9 Deuce website where we have the archives as well as other content such as horror movie reviews, wrestling blogs, podcasts, and some other material.  We’re on Facebook, on Twitter @official9deuce, or Tumblr @ superkent92 or Instagram at Official9Deuce .  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question or a comment at kent@9deuce.com.  Hell, you can subscribe via RSS.  Facebook and the website are probably the best bets.  Thank you.

For the month of October, if you see this logo, click on it to go see the updated list of my 100 Horror Movies In October Marathon.

Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium – Chapter Eight

I came across this song randomly and after the month that I have had, I felt like playing it.  It is NSFW, but that shouldn’t surprise you coming from me.  You’re welcome, and please Eric, write better roles for Hookeri.

In case you missed any of the past blogs/chapters, just go to 9Deuce and look through the archives and start from the beginning to get the full experience.

Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium

Dark Sun Campaign – Chapter 8

Having little interest in anything other than fighting, drinking, and being short, upon arriving in Balic Alexa headed out to a local drinking establishment.  Unfortunately for her, while on her way she was seen by an agent of House Jarko, who knew that Alexa was an escaped gladiatorial slave.  A few hours later, as Alexa was leaving the bar, she was shot with a poisoned blow gun dart and fell unconscious.

As the Thri-kreen best buddies were heading back to the House Inikia barracks, they realized they hadn’t seen Alexa or Coraanu since arriving in the city-state.  Entering the barracks, they noticed that Dimebag was being delivered a missive from House Jarko.  The letter informed Dimebag that Alexa had been captured as an escaped slave; however, as she had escaped from a raided caravan, per a new law passed by the Camber of Patricians allowed her to fight in the Criterion, along with any who wished to join her, for her freedom.  Dimebag, Ilana, and Pane-Pan agreed to fight with their friend.  Hookeri went off to do more random bug-stuff.

Heading to the fighting area, the three ran into a confused-looking and glossy-eyed Coraanu.  As Coraanu tried to talk to them about “High Defiler Vaerhirmana” (aka. Molestan) and they killing of his clan, the three simply told him to shut up and come to the area.

The contest for Alexa’s freedom was a thrilling five round gauntlet with breaks after rounds two and four.  In the first two rounds, the adventurers took on a group of 12 newbies who had only recently begun training to be gladiators, and the imposing “Captain Carnage”, who rode into the area and fought on a Crodlu drawn chariot.  While the newbies put up a surprisingly strong fight, the adventurers were able to take the newbies and the Captain down without too much trouble.

In round three, they took on a clutch of six Thri-kreen that had been training as gladiators for their entire lives.  A not insignificant amount of damage was sustained by the party during that fight.  While nursing their claw wounds, the five were then set upon by “Mad Mary” the “Psion” who obviously was a defiler pretending to be a psion (not that Ilana would know anything about that).  Despite taking Ilana down with a “force-ball”, the adventurers pretty handily kicked her but [DM’s Note: She only had 1 hit point left when she got her only spell off] 

Finally, in the fifth round, the party fought the dreaded Tiki-Tiki Tembo.  While the beast was able to show Alexa what true pain was for the first time in her life, in the end, the five stood victorious, and Alexa earned her freedom.

After the fight the adventurers were offered the chance to attend one of the better after-parties to celebrate their victory (attended by moderately high level nobles and mod-level Templars).  While at the party Ilana was approached by a Praetor who was up for reelection and was actually in danger of losing.  Hearing of Ilana’s seductive grifting exploits in Urik, the Templar was hoping that Ilana could “remove the competition” as it were.  The negotiations were brief but intense, with Ilana declining the job after learning it required a mind wipe so nothing could be traced back to the Templar.  The two appeared to part on good terms; however, Ilana did imply that she might share the Templar’s request with others, which for many non-Templars is a good way to get arrested and/or executed.

Also at the party, Alexa was approached by a representative from the Olivian noble family.  The representative wished to hire the party to kill a giant that had taken a liking to olives off the tree.  Specifically, everyday a giant would wander in to one of the olive tree patches and start eating and storing them in his pack.  As a reward, the adventurers would be given free room and board at the Olivian plantation, and they could also earn a bonus for a job well done.

The next day the group headed to the market to purchase picnic supplies and headed to whatever the olive word for vineyard is.  At about two in the afternoon the adventurers saw the giant heading straight for a grove of olive trees.  Distracted, the adventurers launched a surprise attack that did little more than anger the giant.  However, after a hard fought battle involving Ilana shrinking the giant down to human size, the giant fell down dead.

As Coraanu was using the Bonesaw to cut the giant’s head off as proof of a job well done, the giant stood back up.  It was then that Mad Mary appeared standing upon the now zombified giant’s shoulder.  She told the party that she was here to avenger her humiliating defeat before all of her friends and family at the Criterion.  Ilana responded by defiling a significant portion of the olive grove and casting a fireball at her face.  Distracted (by being on fire), Coraanu was able to mage hand Mary’s component pouch away.  Enraged and without spell components, Mary defiled and sent a volley of 9 magic missiles straight for Ilana, which nearly killed her outright.  The melee fighters then proceeded to chop the giant down while the long-range attackers took out Mary.

In the end the adventurers were victorious and blamed any defiling on Mary.  However, due to the fact they allowed so many of the olive trees to be defiled, they were only paid half the bonus they might have earned.  They did still earn the right to crash at the Olivian pad and be treated as honored guests.

The next morning, after an evening of eating and drinking on the Olivian family’s dime, Coraanu decided to head out to the Megaleneon (the district at the center of the city) to learn more about the magic school that High Defiler Vaerhirmana taught at.  Unfortunately for Coraanu, he was not let into the district as his appointment with Sorcerer King Andropinis was not for two days.  On the plus side, the adventurers did meet an elf (I’d say shifty elf but that would be repetitive) that sold them a map to a hidden dungeon on Mt. Laeron.

Not feeling like dungeon running at that time, the group decided to help Dimebag with his House Inikia job to steal blueprints of the psionic helms that power Balic’s naval fleet and allow the ships to levitate on the silt.  Per the plans provided by the unnamed House Inikia agent, the plans were in a building inside of The Arsenal, the walled compound protecting the city-state’s naval fleet.  While reviewing the schematics Dimebag began having a bad feeling about the job but shook it off, thinking it nothing more than nerves.

Together, four of the party members devised a plan to get them into the Arsenal.  Coraanu and Ilana would cash Disguise Self to make themselves look like various Templars they had interacted with over the past few days.  Dimebag would accompany them as an inspector for House Inikia, and Alexa would eat her fruit of invisibility and ride in on Dimebag’s shoulders.

Despite some suspicion on the part of the guards, the plan went off well and they were able to freely enter the Arsenal.  Unfortunately, things began to go south after Dimebag demanded that the guards who let them in accompany them to the building on the blueprints.  Specifically, one of the guards asked, “are you sure this is the building you were sent here to inspect?”  “Absolutely” replied Dimebag.

Upon reaching the run-down warehouse-looking building that seemed unlikely to hold such valuable schematics, the guards opened the door and asked the three (that they could see) to enter.  Coraanu entered first and saw that it was just a big, empty building.  This caused the other adventurers to hesitate in entering, which, in turn, made the escorts very nervous.  They kept asking the three to enter the building so they could leave.

Once all of the party members entering the building, the door slammed shut and an alarm went off.  When asked what was going on, the guards admitted that they were told to sound the alarm if anyone asked to enter this building.  The two then fled the scene.

Using his nature spirit magic, Coraanu was able to force the door to open.  The four party members then made a mad dash to escape from the Arsenal.  Despite Dimebag getting stuck with a few arrows as Ilana levitated him over the compound walls, the adventurers were able to escape relatively easily and regroup back at the Olivian plantation.

Rather than investigate who set Dimebag up, Dimebag just assumed that it was his brother and continued to plot his revenge against that wife-stealing D-bag.  The rest of the party continued to overeat and drink on the Olivian family’s ceramic piece for the next two days prior to Coraanu’s big meeting with the Sorcerer King himself.

You can find us at the actual 9 Deuce website where we have the archives as well as other content such as horror movie reviews, wrestling blogs, podcasts, and some other material.  We’re on Facebook, on Twitter @official9deuce, or Tumblr @ superkent92 or Instagram at Official9Deuce .  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question or a comment at kent@9deuce.com.  Hell, you can subscribe via RSS.  Facebook and the website are probably the best bets.  Thank you.

For the month of October, if you see this logo, click on it to go see the updated list of my 100 Horror Movies In October Marathon.

Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium – Chapter Seven

You know what, I got nothing exceptional for an opening, but I like giving you  YouTube videos, and it is October.  So enjoy this gem.

In case you missed any of the past blogs/chapters, just go to 9Deuce and look through the archives and start from the beginning to get the full experience.

Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium

Dark Sun Campaign – Chapter 7

After a successful trip to the Rez, Ilana and company stocked up on supplies and headed back to the main road.  The intended to continue east to Balic, with the hopes of meeting up with Coraanu’s old tribe, the Silverhand Tribe (of which the Songstealer clan had once been a part).

A few uneventful days of travel later, the adventurers saw a huge sand cloud in the distance.  Not only that, but the sand cloud appeared to be moving closer to them.  It soon became apparent that this sand cloud was caused by a raiding party of about 40 Thri-kreen heading right for them.  As the party began debating whether to run or fight, Hookeri told them to hold for he saw something very strange.  The raiding party was being led by an elf, his father Mutami.

As Mutami and his bugs began to surround the party, Mutami started his, “we are here to raid you, give us your stuff” speak when he suddenly stopped and said, “my adopted son Hookeri!  What brings you to me this day!”

After a few minutes of conversing, Hookeri learned that Mutami had given up looking for the ones who killed his distant cousins the Songstealers as he believed they will never be found.  When asked why he did not return home to “mom”, Mutami explained that, while he missed Ekee, he had found a new destiny.  During the journey he met with Celba Silttamer, the new leader of the Silverhand tribe.  Celba explained to him that it was her great vision to bring elves and Thri-kreen together to overthrow Sorcerer King Androphinis and create a new Elven-Kreen empire.  Enamored by Celba’s ideals, Mutami joined up with her and quickly became her right hand and leader of the Thri-kreen shock troops.

Introducing himself as the last surviving member of the Songstealers, Coraanu asked to be taken back to the Silttamer main camp.  Mutami, of course, agreed and the party began the next stage of the journey.  All the while Hookeri was quick to make sure the other Thri-kreen knew that Mutami was his father and that he deserved special treatment because of it.

After a few hours of travel into the desert, Coraanu was treated to an unexpected sight.  All of the clans that make up the Silverhand Tribe had appearently come together, thousands strong.  From what Coraanu remembered of his childhood, this rarely, if ever happened.  The party was brought to the center of the camp before an impressive “wedding or junior prom” sized tent.  Out from the tent came someone Coraanu instantly recognized, the third daughter of the former chief of the Silttamers.  Someone Coraanu had been instructed by his father to give no mind to as she should never amount to anything as the third daughter of a chieften.

Perhaps most disconcerting, Celba had apparently grown a foot taller and put on approximately 100 pounds of muscle while still maintaining a delicate, feminine frame.  With all the grace of a Real New Jersey housewife, Celba came over to Coraanu, gave a disingenuous huh, and in a fake pandering voice talked about how good it was to find that a member of the Silverhand tribe was still alive!  Coraanu attempted to engage her in conversation, but she insisted that any conversation be put off until after that evening’s celebratory feast.  Further, she directed that the adventurers be taken to the hot springs to bath before the festivities.

Even though they were all told that they had to bathe or they wouldn’t be able to attend the feast, Dimebag showed off his bitching scars from his former dis-enstomach-ing and explained that he was not medically cleared for a hot spring.  Mutami, who would be escorting the party to the springs, agreed, but gave Dimebag a wet-nap and told him to take a “lady of ill repute bath.”

At the hot springs Mutami was very forthcoming, perhaps a little too forthcoming, with what Celba was trying to accomplish.  They had spent the past year and a half gathering all the clans of the Silverhand tribe together, and they were recruiting any Thri-kreen who would listen.  Obviously, they still had a ways to go before they could invade a city state.  When Mutami made that observation, Coraanu asked how they intended to be able to defeat a sorcerer king?  Mutami deflected the question by saying that Celba was “working on plans.”

Wanting to know just how important his father was, Hookeri asked what Mutami’s rank in Celba’s army was.  Mutami explained that it was basically Celba, then him, and then a counsel made up of all the leaders of the other clans; however, they would make sure that each clan chief would think that, “they were actually the one in charge *wink wink*.”  Hearing this, a mischief making plan entered into Coraanu’s head.

While most of the adventurers were enjoying a spa day, Dimebag decided he was going to “do recon.”  Approaching Celba’s awesome-ass tent, he saw that the entrance was guarded by two bugs.  He decided to go around to the back and, failing his arcana check, decided to lift up the tent to sneak under.  This resulted in Dimebag taking significant magical electrical shock damage.

Undeterred, Dimebag consumed his fruit of invisibility and snuck past the bug-guards (DM’s Note: Calling a Thri-kreen a bug is basically a racial slur and will likely get you eaten).   As Dimebag entered the tent, he saw that it was a short hallway leading to a black, silk tent flap that, presumably, led to the main tent area.  Having passed his arcana check this time, Dimebag was able to sense that this silk flap was also magically trapped.  Every the clever one, Dimebag took out and assembled his 10 foot pole and gently moved the entrance flap aside.

Hearing a loud explosion coming from the encampment, the adventurers threw on their clothes and rushed to see what happened.  It turned out that moving the tent flap aside caused a fireball to go off in the entry way.  As the party arrived to the center of camp, they saw the two guards hauling Dimebag’s unconscious and charred body out of the tent.

Assuming it must be “some terrible understanding,” Celba exited the tent, went over to Dimebag’s body, and used her psionic powers to revive him to nearly full life.  Seeing this, Pane-pan realized that Celba had psionic powers far more advanced than he.  Once again coming back from the precipice of death, Dimebag begged for forgiveness and explained that he had been coming to the tent to proclaim his love for Celba.  Finding him cute, Celba told Dimebag that he would sit to the right of her tonight while Coraanu would sit on her left.  She then retired back into her tent.

During the few hours between bathing and the feast, Coraanu decided to meet with each clan chieften individually to tell them what he had learned about how Celba and Mutami were manipulating.  Most simply dismissed Coraanu as crazy or a liar; however, an elf chief named Solzak seemed genuinely afraid of Celba.  He basically told Coraanu, “look we all know the truth we just pretend not to, now just shut up, keep your head down, and enjoy the prosperity that Celba is bringing to the tribe.”

That night at the feast a good time was had by most (not Coraanu).  Pane-pan got it on with a big thoraxed lady-bug, Hookeri got to talk with his father, Alexa got to drink a lot, Ilana did a lot of drugs, and Dimebag thinks he got a handy from Celba under the table.  At one point and elf came over and starting hitting on Alexa.  Not impressed, Alexa used Nok’s Gauntlets to knock him the fuck out.  At the same time, Ilana cast Reduce on the elf, causing his now tiny body to fly away from the force of Alexa’s punch.

During the meal Coraanu again attempted to use the power of being a dick to mess with Celba.  Using the spell Mage Hand, Coraanu spilled wine all over the elven cloak that Celba wears to show her leadership of the tribe.  Without any sign of annoyance on her face, Celba telekinetically wrung out the cloak, and then used Prestidigitation to instantly clean it.  From there Celba invited Coraanu, his “bodyguard” Alexa and Dimebag back to her personal tent.

Upon entering the tent, both Alexa and Dimebag failed their saving throws and had their minds turned off by Celba.  She then called upon her arcane power to cast Dominate Person on Coraanu for the next eight hours.  Failing his save, Celba forced Coraanu to disclose everything he had learned or suspected about the massacre of the Songstealers.  Once he disclosed all he had learned, Coraanu could feel Celba probing and re-writing his mind.

Celba locked deep within Coraanu’s mind all that he had learned since first meeting Mutami.  She then instructed him to continue his journey to Balic.  Upon arriving there Coraanu was to disappear from his friends for two to three days.  Upon returning to his friends, he was to inform them that during his independent investigation he learned that High Defiler Vaerhirmana (Androphinis’s head defiler) had orchestrated the massacre and that they need to track him down and kill him as soon as possible.

The next morning everyone on the party woke up in the guest tent with only the memories of what a great time they had at the hot spring and feast the night before.  All traces of memory of their conversations with Celba and Mutami had been scrubbed from their brains.  Coraanu urged the party to continue their journey to Balic and they left the Silverhand Tribe encampment and continued east.

About a day into the trip they were ambushed by a pack of Brohgs.  Luckily, their aim was terrible and three of the six party members have at least one level in barbarian.  As such, the fight was a piece of cake.  More unnerving, two days later Coraanu heard a voice in his head.  The voice introduced himself as Androphinis, Sorcerer King of Balic.  Considering the sheer psionic power tearing at his mind, Coraanu had little reason to doubt the voice.  Androphinis instructed Coraanu to come see him in Balic one week for today.  The sorcerer king said nothing more but it was clear to Coraanu that bad things would happen if he failed to follow the order.

Upon reaching Balic the adventurers had a choice to made, pay one silver and go through the regular line, or pay one gold and go through the safe “bribery line.”  Despite needing to go though the bribery line or face death for being discovered as a defiler, Ilana chose the regular line.  Having drank a number of beers by that point, I can’t remember all the nonsense that happened.  What I do know is this:  1) Ilana got discovered; 2) some of the adventurers caused a distraction; 3) Ilana ate her potion of invisibility and ran away; 4) most of the other PCs were deputized as “Templars for a day” to go hunt Ilana down and turn her in.

Immediately upon entering the city, Pane-pan was mentally contacted by Ender Wiggin, Headmaster of the University of Inix, a long distance learning psionic academy.  Headmaster Wiggin asked Pane-pan to come see him the next morning.  As usual, the adventurers took advantage of Dimebag’s contacts with House Inikia to crash at their barracks while in the city state.  Shortly after arriving there Dimebag was offered a job by someone in the House compound.  This individual, who offered no name and was not asked by Dimebag to provide one, was willing to pay Dimebag and his compatriots one gold now and one gold at the completion of the job to break into the Arsenal, the heavily guarded and fortified Balic military shipyard, to locate and steal a copy of the plans for building the psionically powered ship helms that propel the Balic naval fleet.  Dimebag and company accepted.

The next day Pane-pan, along with good friend Hookeri, headed over to the University of Inix.  Upon arriving and being ushered into Headmaster Wiggin’s office, the Headmaster explained that he knew why Pane-pan was in the city and that he knew who had killed Pane-pan’s cluch.

The Headmaster told Pane-pan that on that day, Girias Olivian, son of family head Giovvo Olivian, had decided to prove to his father that he was finally ready to enroll in the military academy.  To do so, he and some of his noble friends formed a hunting party to bring back a trophy.  Knowing of his son’s mischief, Wiggin had been hired by the family to keep psionic watch over Girias.  As such, he observed from his office when Girias and his friends ran into Pane-pan’s cluch, panicked, and slaughtered them all.

Headmaster Wiggin urged Pane-pan to give up his quest for vengeance.  In exchange he would enroll Pane-pan in his schools for free (a 100 gold piece per year value!).  He would also give Pane-pan a long distance learning obsidian orb that would allow him to take “online” classes in his own spare time while traveling with his compatriots.  After all, as Thri-kreen never sleep, he would have plenty of opportunity to study.

Pane-pan thanked the Headmaster for his offer but turned him down.  Blood would be answered for with blood.  Wiggen assured Pane-pan that he would not sell the Thri-kreen out to the Templars and they parted amicably.


You can find us at the actual 9 Deuce website where we have the archives as well as other content such as horror movie reviews, wrestling blogs, podcasts, and some other material.  We’re on Facebook, on Twitter @official9deuce, or Tumblr @ superkent92 or Instagram at Official9Deuce .  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question or a comment at kent@9deuce.com.  Hell, you can subscribe via RSS.  Facebook and the website are probably the best bets.  Thank you.

For the month of October, if you see this logo, click on it to go see the updated list of my 100 Horror Movies In October Marathon.

Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium – Chapter Six

Welcome back to the story that never stops: Tales From the Plunderbund Consortium.  We are back on our normal schedule.  I like leaving YouTube videos as my contribution to this, so this week I give you one of the genuinely most terrifying music videos ever.

In case you missed any of the past blogs/chapters, just go to 9Deuce and look through the archives and start from the beginning to get the full experience.

You can find us at the actual 9 Deuce website where we have the archives as well as other content such as horror movie reviews, wrestling blogs, podcasts, and some other material.  We’re on Facebook, on Twitter @official9deuce, or Tumblr @ superkent92 or Instagram at Official9Deuce .  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question or a comment at kent@9deuce.com.  Hell, you can subscribe via RSS.  Facebook and the website are probably the best bets.  Thank you.

For the month of October, if you see this logo, click on it to go see the updated list of my 100 Horror Movies In October Marathon.

Tales from the Plunderbund Consortium

Dark Sun Campaign – Chapter 6


After accomplishing their “mission” for the Nibenese army, Coraanu, Dimebag, and Alexa reported what they learned (or at least what Hamanu had told them to report) to Captain Ke’ku’che.  The Captain appeared to be disturbed by the news, but thanked the three for their hard work and efforts.  As a reward, he gave them each a week’s worth of leave.  The three then left the army, never to return.

From there the three, along with Ilana, planned to head south to Gulg with the intention of catching a House Inikia caravan to Balic, although Ilana was hoping to stop earlier so that she could talk with the mad spirit of the stream back at her old home, “the Rez.”  As they traveled they ran into their old bug-buddies, Pane-Pan and Uk’Chataa-Hookeri, who had been off doing “bug shit.”

As the reunited six traveled on, they felt the ground shake beneath them, obviously an earthquake had hit the area.  Traveling further still through the stony barrens, they saw an old fort ahead.  Coraanu and Pan snuck ahead to investigate, and were nearly dragged into the crack in the earth had had formed due to the earthquake.  Luckily, their natural dexterity saved them from death.  Searching the old fort, Coraanu found a handful of silver coins.  As he went to search for more, per random encounter sub-table H, a hunter cactus that was obscured by the sand and the crack in the ground shot it deadly spines at both Coraanu and Pan.  As cacti have terrible aim, they missed, and the two ran from the ruins as fast as their legs would take them.

The party continued to travel by night, and as they settled in to rest the next morning, Coraanu and Pan went out to scavenge for food for the group.  Unfortunately for them, a dune runner, an undead elf that forever runs through the sands and takes others with them until they die of exhaustion, ran right by them.  While Pan’s mental fortitude as a Psion protected him from the lure of the run, Coranuu’s elven instincts could not resist getting a morning jog in, even if it would cost him his life.  Pan followed the two as Coranuu sweated to the oldie undead.  As luck would have it, the dune runner’s path took them straight through the party’s encampment and other’s began to feel the insufferable desire to talk about how they just accomplished their first half-marathon on Athas-Book.  After a team effort to slow the movement’s of the dune runner and to protect Coranuu and any others feeling the runner’s effects, Pan unleased a thought spear that broke the runner’s concentration and freed the party members.

Battle ensued, with Dimebag, who had just learned to rage after training with Alexa for so long, asked his mentor for advise as to whether now was a good time to rage and gain damage resistance.  Alexa told him, “I never rage when it is just one opponent.”  Taking her advise to heart, he forwent raging and instead leveled an all-out attack at the vile undead.  When the dune runner’s turn to attack drew near, he turned his attention to Dimebag as he had done the most damage to the runner.  Swiping with its deadly claws, the runner proceeded to disembowel Dimebag, leaving him unconscious and near death.  Luckily, the party was able to destroy the creature without any further casualties.

While Pan was able to use his psionics to stabilize Dimebag, without clerical (or Templar or druidic) healing, the extensive damage done to Dimebag could not be healed.  The party spent the next day and a half tending to a comatose Dimebag as they finished their journey to Gulg.

Upon reaching the forest city of Gulg, the party found the nearest members of House Inikia and asked them for help.  They were told to bring Dimebag to either the house head, Andiama Inikia, or to his brother, Darkius Darksmith, at the House Inikia headquarters.  Ilana, Pan and Hookeri took it upon themselves to bring Dimebag to the headquarters.

After entering House Inikia and throwing Dimebag’s body on the ground, Ilana asked for help.  Darkius was summoned and he quickly sent for a house cleric to heal his brother’s wounds.  He told Ilana and company that Dimebag would be healed within an hour or two.  Darkius also took that opportunity to offer them a job.  After much back and forth, it was learned that, since Dimebag had been declared dead, Darkius was planning on marrying Dimebag’s three now ex-wives.  He asked them to accompany Dimebag to the nearby Fort Harbeth, an Inikia trading outpost, and convince Dimebag to retire there and spend the rest of his days in middle management under Waltian Inikia.  The party would be paid one silver each for taking job, and one gold each if Dimebag accepted the job.  Pan and Hooki offered to attend the wedding and play “bug music,” but their offer was rebuffed.

Rather than face any resistance from Dimebag, the party decided to have the house cleric keep Dimebag in a medically induced coma until they reached Fort Harbeth.  Pane-Pan had significant issue with this, and tried to wake Dimebag ahead of time; unfortunately, his psionic power was not able to do the job.  Four days later, upon arriving at the fort, Dimebag was fully healed, and upon coming out of the coma, was immediately told by Pan about his brother’s weeding.  Dimebag was understandably enraged.  Ilana then went on to discuss the situation with Dimebag and told him that he either needed to accept the job at Fort Harbeth, or pay everyone in the party the one gold each they would have earned getting Dimebag to accept the job.  Knowing that Fort Harbeth is where Inikia careers go to die, and also knowing that if he died without finding the obsidian man he would become a dwarven banshee, Dimebag refused to take the job and refused to pay the money.  Ilana responded in the worst way possible and cast charm person on Dimebag.  Dimebag paid the five gold, but also now has a deep seeded resentment for Ilana and is likely plotting his revenge.

Having resolved that matter, the adventurers joined a House Inikia caravan and traveled the Great Ivory Plain south to North Ledopolus.  Upon arriving, they took the silt skimmer ferry to South Ledopolus, and geared up to travel to Ilana’s old home, the Rez, which resided in a salt flat, an area so dangerous and desolate and few beings are able to live there outside of the strongest ravaging beasts.

Time passed slowly as the adventurers slugged through the salt marshes and salt plains on their way to the Rez.  No man or beast was seen for most of this journey, however, avians constantly flew above the group waiting for them to die.  One evening, as they neared the Rez, the party was taken by surprise as a number of bone spears attached to white ropes burst forth from the ground, impaling and pulling to the ground a number of them.  Those that dodged the attack saw what looked like a giant turtle with missile tubes attached to its shell rise from the ground, they were being attacked by a Chn’thrang!

The adventurers soon learned that if they tried to remove the beast’s living harpoons from their bodies, it simply fired more at them.  As such, they choose to remain impaled and engage the horrid creature in hand to hand combat.  Most disturbing to some of the party members, it was at this time that Ilana revealed herself as a defiler, enhancing her magic to the point that the white salt surrounding her turned to black ash as her spells were brought forth.  Serious wounds were inflicted on all of the party members during the battle, including Hookeri’s new pet, but in the end they stood victorious.  In celebration, Hookeri attempted to eat some of the Chn’thrang.  It did not taste good.

A day and a half later the group reached the Rez, and immediately sensed something was wrong.  They were approached by High Chief Steve Miavia and Rain Cleric Tyrone of the Land Orca tribe.  While they welcomed Ilana back with open arms, it was painfully obvious that these elves were now intelligent undead.  Specifically, Coraanu deermined that Steve was a Kaisharga (basically a lich in other worlds) and Tyrone was now a Krag (an undead made when an elemental cleric is killed by its opposition element).  High Chief Steve told Ilana that “Rez” was waiting for him.  She entered the camp and headed back to the stream as the others waited with the seemingly friendly undead.

As Ilana approached the stream she heard a female voice in her head, the voice introduced herself as Rez, the spirit of the stream.  Rez explained that nearly a millennia ago she was the protector druid of these lands, which had been very lush with foliage.  Eventually, she became the spirit of the land herself.  Then, 600 years ago, the sorcerer-king Andropinis killed her in a magical battle so intense that it turned her beautiful lands into the salt flat it is today.  Further, though her spirit body was destroyed, her mind lived on and remained bound to the land.

Over the years, alone in a salt flat, Rez became obsessed with getting revenge on Andropinis.  Indeed, she became convinced that all humanity was the enemy and needed to be scrubbed from the land.  As such, approximately 400 years ago, she began manipulating events so that every 50 years or so new refugees would be sent to “the Rez.”  Once these refugees arrived and attempted to set up some form of civilization in this blasted land, Rez would spend her time mentally, emotionally, and, when possible, physically abusing these refugees.  For the past 400 years, this only severed to drive them insane and eventually result in their deaths; that was until now.

Rez explained that the reason she had been mentally torturing these people for years was to create her great champion.  Someone so cynical, jaded, and morally loose, that they could care less about the fate of the planet if it meant more fun and power for her.  Ilana, Rez believe, was finally that champion.

Becoming her champion, Rez explained, involved turning Ilana into a dragon.  According to Rez, the sorcerer-kings were not merely powerful defilers and psions, but beings who had combined these power sources and used it to travel the path of the dragon.  While the Dragon of Tyr is the only known individual to have completed the metamorphosis, all of the sorcerer-kings are on the path to dragonhood.  Rez wanted Ilana to become a dragon and to kill Andropinis (and any other humans or demihumans warrenting killing).

In exchanged for being her champion, Rez offered Ilana the following: 1) Knowledge of how to become a dragon, including the need for a ton of gold to start crafting obsidian orbs; 2) the undead army that was formally the Land Orca tribe (100 skeletons, 100 zombies, 50 kraglings); and 3) use of the Rez as a base of operations, which includes unlimited water.  Rez was also willing to share the location of one of the obsidian orbs known as the orbs of Kalid-ma; artifacts coveted by all sorcerer-kings.  Ilana gladly accepted Rez’s offer.

Ilana returned to her “friends” while being pushed forward by her new goal, if not her new destiny.  A destiny she had no intention of sharing with her pawns . . . er . . . compatriots anytime in the near future.