9 Deuce Horror Presents The Tales From The Hood Discussion

To celebrate 9 Deuce 2017, I asked the group to watch Tales From The Hood, one of my all time favorites, or possibly guilty pleasures.  I am undecided.  Anyway, we watched and it’s still has it’s moments.  Thank you Teddy, Cece, and Dom for your time.  Please leave us a comment.

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  1.  Tales From the Hood has 4 stories plus the wrap around story with the mortician.  What is your favorite of these stories?

Teddy:  definitely the killer’s “rehabilitation” it’s a story that connects to the much larger story

Cece: I think my favorite is the Cops story. Story 1.

Dom:  Toss up between : Rogue Cop Revelation and Boys Do Get Bruised

Kent:  Boys Do Get Bruised because of David Allen Grier’s performance.

 

  1.  In “Rogue Cop Revelation”, did Clarence get what he deserved in your opinion?  Did he deserve worse due to his decision to not help or better because he led Strom, Billy, and Newton back to the gravesite?

Teddy:  idk I’m on the fence because he technically did refuse to testify against the other cops, so that sorta makes him complacent and guilty in that sense.

Cece: It’s kind of hard to really say. I mean, he could have definitely done a bit more. Instead he got drunk and just moped around. He could have done a wee bit more to bring the politician to justice.

Dom: He got what he deserved.  He didn’t do anything to stop them and it ultimately led to his own mental break down

Kent:  I say that he may have deserved worse, but having a long life in that mental state is probably worse than I am giving it credit for.  He didn’t do the right thing, and when he tried to finally do it, it was beyond a point of retribution.  He’s the black Theon Greyjoy.

 

  1.  Aside from Marton Morehouse, who got the worst death in “Rogue Cop Revelation”?

Teddy: The worst deaths were the guy getting pulled into the grave by his dick and the last guy to die imo.

Cece: I’d say Newton for sure. The needles plus being placed into a mural with that face of shock!

Dom: I agree with Teddy.  I  mean getting pulled into the earth by a dead dude grabbing your dick?!?!  And getting killed by hypodermic needles, which btw those always remind me of Shawnee Smith and her scene in Saw 2, I saw yes worse but justly deserved deaths

Kent:  Billy got it the worst.  Note all 3 guys noting the dick grabbing.  That is not a coincidence.

 

  1.  In “Boys Do Get Bruised”, we see a very different David Alan Grier than what we were used to at the time.David was just wrapping up his great stint on In Living Color, and in this film, he portrayed a horrible person in a very serious role.  Do you think that he did a good job in his role as Carl/The Monster?

Teddy:  absolutely. Without knowing who he was prior you would’ve never guess he was actually a big comedian.

Cece: Yes, I do. I actually did not really grow up seeing him in other things, so, this wasn’t all too shocking for me. But great job.

Dom:  Absolutely.  It’s great to see any actor who is known for a specific genre and  step outside it and be terrific.  He did a great job

Kent:  Yeah, I loved it.  It reminded me of the handful of times that Jim Carrey absolutely nailed a different type of role, like in Man on the Moon.

 

  1.  At the end of “Boys Do Get Bruised”, we see Walter burn the picture, and therefore he sets the kitchen on fire.  Seriously, how the hell is Walter, Sissy, and Richard supposed to not only explain that fire, but also explain Carl’s disappearance?  Really, that’s not a very happy ending.

Teddy:  I mean they could just chalk it up to “being in the hood” where stuff like that happens a lot

Cece: I mean. He was a fuckin’ demon, dude. Not that anyone would believe them. But hey, it’s true.

Dom: Umm oops?

Kent:  I don’t see a logical out for this one, but as Teddy pointed out, I’m sure cops have dealt with stranger things in the hood.  Wow, did I just make a crossover show/movie?  Stranger Things in the Hood would be amazing.

 

  1.  In “KKK Comeuppance”, do you feel that the morale message of the story may have been lost due to how silly/cartoony/over the top some of the lines and sequences were?

Teddy:  Not at all. The dolls were still scary af even despite the CGI on the dolls during the movement scenes.

Cece: I don’t think so. I mean, the dolls are terrifying dude. But, this is coming from someone who doesn’t like dolls. Either way, the message was very clear.

Dom:  No, the message was still clear.  Doll animation has always and will always be bad when done in movies.  That was the message right?

Kent:  I’m sorry, but you do lose the message a bit when you give the racist guy all of the comedic lines, although a lot were groan inducing.  I felt very conflicted after seeing it because he was an awful guy but also the most entertaining.

 

  1.  In ”Hard Core Convert”, we get a Clockwork Orange type of treatment against violence.  The thing is, he dies at the end because he didn’t learn from his mistakes and allowed rage to take over rather than listening to Dr. Cushing’s advice of taking accountability for his actions.  When the doctor is talking to him during the flashing light sequence, was that all in his head or did he have an opportunity to be set free?

Teddy:  I believe the lady was god or an angel sent to give him another chance at life, and he blew it.

Cece: He was definitely given a chance to walk out, being absolved, but, he decided to go against it and keep acting ignorant.

Dom:  He had an opportunity.

Kent:  I think it was all in his head, or in an afterlife type setting.  It also kinda reminded me of A Christmas Carol, or more specifically, Mickey’s Christmas Carol.  Scrooge made good on the opportunity.  

 

  1.  I think that there are many similarities in this film to other films and TV shows.  Name 3 or less and explain why or how they relate.  Yes, limit yourself to 3.

Teddy:  I’m not a big show buff so I can’t really name any xD

Cece: The only thing I found this really similar to, is Creepshow. The campy filming and the fact that it’s anthology. Not really too sure on any others?

Dom:  Creepshow movies, Tales from the Crypt, Tales From the Darkside, Trick or Treat, Trilogy of Terror,etc….  So many, many more

Kent:  Geez Dom, you left out Creepshow 2 and 3, Asylum, Twilight Zone, Outer Limits, Tales of Halloween, Nightmares and Dreamscapes, Masters of Horror, Fear Itself, and probably another 100 things that I have long since forgotten.  Oh, and Cat’s Eye!  I love that movie!

 

  1.  I love knowing what people’s favorite lines are in films that have several great one liners.  What is your favorite line from Tales From The Hood?

Teddy:  “I’m gonna piss on his grave”

Cece: Mr. Simms: “Don’t worry. You’ll get the shit. You’ll be knee-deep in the shit. I’ve got it hid. There’s so much… I couldn’t even lift it all myself.”

Dom: “Welcome, to Hell”

Kent:  Nothing can top the knee deep in the shit line.  I have said that to people in various contexts and every once in awhile, somebody recognizes where that line came from.  He delivers that line so fucking great.

 

Bonus Deuce

  1.  Could Tales From the Hood be a successful film in 2017?  Why or why not?

Teddy:  With the injustices that still exist in this day for PoC I feel this movie is still relevant. I think it would have pretty good success especially since Get Out made bank recently.

Cece: Most definitely! They should do a like Fathom events type thing around Halloween and re-release this to theaters. I’d go!

Dom:  Totally.

Kent:  I don’t think the KKK one could go down today.  With some tweaks though, yes.  The thing is, you can’t be preachy in your message or else you lose a good chunk of your audience, hi Crash.  I would love to see a sequel with new stories, or even a Candyman that touches on this stuff.  Candyman in Detroit would be bad ass.

 

  1.  What was the silliest thing that happened in this film?

Teddy:  I think it’s a tie between DAG’s death due to being crumbled up, and the Cop’s death by dick grabbing xD

Cece: I think Mr. Simms is. And he’s also my favorite part about it all, too.

Dom: Those damn dolls

Kent:  Mr Simms is, no doubt about it for me.  The puddle of a person that DAG ended up in was also amazing.

#10 Creepshow (1982)

This is an extra Stephen King movie not intended but since I watched the sequel last month with a friend, why not watch the shitty original? Yes, it is shitty, but it’s so shitty that it is entertaining if that makes sense. Of course it makes sense, you are reading a blog about horror movies after all. I have no idea where to begin with this shit.

Let’s start off by saying this is an anthology movie with 5 distinct stories, and an all encompassing one that nobody gives 2 shits about. 1. Father’s Day – has a young Ed Harris, that’s cool. A cranky ass old bastard who bangs his cane and his fucking cake. When I get older, providing the lightning doesn’t kill me, c’mon lightning, then I want to be an old fucker banging my cane around demanding my cake to the kids I probably won’t ever have. Sigh. All in all, this story sucks ass, and I don’t recommend it, but it has some funny moments. Ok so watch at your own discretion. 2. The lonesome death of Jordy Verrill- a film starring Stephen King himself as a podunk farm boy who simply isn’t that smart, but dreams big. He finds a meteor, he hopes to sell it for a whopping $200. that’s right people. I have a lot crumbs on my shirt. Anyway, this one is silly, King is silly, seeing old ass Bob Backlund wresling on a black and white TV is silly, and overall, this is just silly shit, but entertaining for what it was. 3. Something to Tide You Over – Here’s my theory, they needed to keep people from walking out at this point, so they put their best in the 3 spot hoping to keep people around long enough. Sure enough, it works. Leslie Neilsen as the bad guy? Check. Ted Danson as the good guy? Check. Cruel way to die? Hell yes. If you only watch one art of this movie, this is the one to watch. 4. The Crate – A lot of people seem to love this one too, and I get it. Adrienne Barbeau is a bitch, and he husband fantasizes about killing her. One day a crate comes into his life with a weird monkey type monster. He lives the dream. Easy as it sounds, it works well. I feel it drags at points though. 5. They’re Creeping Up On You – Something to do with some scientist and cockroaches, and he gets infested and obsessed, and I kinda spaced out. Sorry. Probably better that Father’s Day though.

How does one rate this mess? I’ll tell you how. Each segment can be worth a maximum of 2 points, so you add that shit up nigga, and you have 0.5+1.0+2.0+1.5+0.5 and you get 5.5. That sounds fair for this. You’re welcome.

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#380 Asylum (1972)

This stars Peter Cushing and has a good rating, and is an anthology. This could be fun. It starts with the great song “A Night on Bald Mountain”, which is legendary.

So the plot is easy enough. A young psychiatrist comes to this asylum, and his test to qualify for the job is to interview patients to figure out which one is Dr. Starr. This will lead to our 4 tales. His name is Dr. Martin, and Dr. Rutherford is the one who makes the deal.

Our first patient is Bonnie, and she tells us “Frozen Fear”. We have Walter who is married to Ruth, and he wanted to get divorced a month ago to be with Bonnie. Ruth is learning voodoo shit and has some protective bracelet thing. Apparently Ruth is the wealthy one and will not allow him to divorce her. He tells her that he has a surprise for her downstairs, and it’s a freezer, and then a hit to the head to kill her. Good gift. He calls Bonnie and tells her to drag her ass over and they are to take the body with them and get rid of it on their way to the airport. This plan is foolproof. Well then he sees the head rolling around on the floor upstairs, but it’s not there then he goes downstairs and an arm from the freezer drags him in. Bonnie comes over and makes her way in. Bonnie finds Walter’s body in the freezer and goes to leave but the head is on the top of the stairs and now other body parts are coming to get her. The body parts antagonize her, and she ended up in the asylum because they claim that she strangled Walter. She is beautiful. AT the end, she tried chopping at the the hand grabbing her face, and she has bad scarring.

We meet Bruno next and his story, “The Weird Tailor”. This old couple are in desperate need of money to pay the rent. After being give a 5 day extension, a gentleman named Smith (Peter Cushing) comes in and want s a suit made. The material is very odd, changing colors. Bruno is given very specific instructions, most notably about times that he can work on it and to deliver it to Smith ASAP. Well, when he delivers it, Smith doesn’t have the money and the suit is to resurrect his dead son. Smith and Bruno have a fight over a gun and Bruno accidentally shoots Smith and kills him. Back at the store, Bruno’s wife, Anna, puts the suit on a mannequin and it comes to life and presumably harms or kills his wife.

After that, we meet Barbara who tells us “Lucy Comes To Stay”. Barbara is pretty as well.  George brings his sister, Barbara home from the hospital, and she doesn’t seem right in the head, and he has hired a nurse, Miss Higgins, and Barbara is worried about somebody named Lucy.  Higgins sedates Barbara then gets a call then her mom has been in an accident, so George drives her to the train station and Barbara is up and looking for pills.  She turns around and sees Lucy sitting there, and she is a looker as well.  Lucy reveals that if something happens to Barb, he would most likely inherit the house that their dad left her, if he puts her back in the hospital. Lucy has drugged George’s tea, and Miss Higgins should be on her way back tonight. Lucy has snagged the car keys, now it’s time for them to bail.  Lucy cuts the phone cord while Barb gets dressed.  I fail to see how running away helps her keep the house. I mean, I get it, Lucy isn’t real, but the logic is flawed. Lucy is pissed at Barb for taking pills.  Lucy says that she’s leaving and throws the pills at Barb and leaves. Miss Higgins shows up and her and Barb look for George and find him stabbed by scissors, and Higgins can’t call for help. Higgins goes up to check on Barb and gets stabbed in the chest by Lucy. Needless to say, that’s why Barb is in there.

We now get to meet Byron, Dr. Byron, and he is going to tell us “Mannikins of Horror”. Bryron has toys with human like heads, that he claims have brains in them. He shows Martin his newest creation, one with Byron’s head on it, which he can put his subconscious in. Well, Byron gets all pissy so they leave and Martin is ready to make his pick to Rutherford. Rutherford wants to do a pre-frontal lobotomy on Byron, and Byron has just made his toy move. The toy has made it past the orderly and is trying to make his way to Rutherford. Martin says that he’s leaving to go to London and he’s pissed at how the patients are treated here. The toy grabs a scalpel and stabs Rutherford in the back of the head. Martin is pissed and stomps on the toy, but there is like blood and organs and Byron reacts as if he was in pain.  Byron’s body has supposedly been crushed. We then find out the answer, and it’s well done.

Rating – 6.8 seems fair because I had an overall great time with this one. The ending was spot on. Yes, the toy aspect was cheesy, but it was supposed to be. I really liked this one.

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#376 A Christmas Horror Story (2015)

This is a horror anthology film, with William Shatner as a radio talk show type of guy who keeps the segments moving.

william-shatner

Let me break down the stories a bit for you.  First, we have a story about these 3 high school kids going to this school to film about a homicide that happened there last year. Well the girl is possessed or some such nonsense and kills both boys. It wasn’t that good.

Secondly, we have a couple who take their son out to cut down a Christmas tree, but they trespass, and he runs off, and they get him back home. He’s not acting himself though. This actually was probably my second favorite, I really enjoyed the boy.

Third, a story about a family who have to fend off Krampus with a bit of a twist at the end and this is almost as good as the second story, so no complaints.

Finally, there’s a story about Santa fighting off zombie elves. The ending is absolutely worth it. I loved this one.

Rating – 6.2 There wasn’t anything absolutely awful. The first story was mediocre or else this may have actually scored higher. This really surprised me.

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