WrestleMania XXXIV (34) Preview

Russ and Kent give you the most thorough WrestleMania preview on the internet.  That’s our claim and we are sticking to it.  We are cautiously optimistic.   Over on our podcast, Are You Not Kentertained we discussed this and other topics that may or may not be relevant.   Please enjoy.

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Kickoff Show Matches

 

  1.  Cruiserweight 205 Championship Match – Cedric Alexander vs Mustafa Ali

Who Wins?

Russ:  Pretty sure they are giving this to Mustafa.

Kent:  Cedric Alexander better win.

Any interference by other 205 superstars?  If yes, who?

Russ:  I have no idea, I haven’t seen any of this, but for intrigues sake I’m going to say yes.

Kent:  It feels like the GM may interfere on behalf of his secret chosen one.  That’s just my prediction. Go guy formerly known as Rockstar Spud!

 

  1. Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

First Man Eliminated?

Russ:  The ultimate loser:  Curt Hawkins

Kent:  Dash WIlder

Final Two

Russ:  Matt Hardy and a Reborn Bray Wyatt

Kent:  Tye Dillinger and Baron Corbin

Winner:

Russ:Reborn Bray  

Kent:  Tye Dillinger

 

  1.  The Non Fabulous Moolah Memorial Battle Royal

First Woman Eliminated?

Russ:  Becky Lynch, because WWE hates her

Kent:  Mandy Rose because they dicks to her.

Final Two

Russ:  Sasha and Bayley because they have been the focus of the non important women

Kent:  Sonya and Becky

Winner

Russ:  Bayley

Kent:  Becky….please!

 

The 9

  1.  Smackdown Women’s Championship Match – Streak vs Title – Charlotte vs Asuka

Will we see Ric Flair?

Russ:  More than likely.  

Kent:  Yes, and he will cry at some point, possibly on the kickoff show.

Who enters first?

Russ:  Asuka

Kent:  Asuka

Any special entrance?

Russ:  Yea, this match has that feel.  Expect Charlotte’s to be flairish while Asuka’s will be awesome.  

Kent:  Yes, I think for Asuka, while Charlotte’s will be a little fancier but mainly the same.

Will victory come via pin or submission?

Russ:  Submission

Kent:  Both of them are submission specialist, but WWE won’t want either to look weak.  Pin.

Winner?

Russ:  Well, it would make no sense to end the streak here so Asuka.  

Kent:    For everything that is holy, Asuka.  New Orleans is where streaks come to die.  I pick Charlotte….I hate life.

  1.  US Championship Fatal 4 Way Match – Randy Orton vs Rusev vs Jinder Mahal vs Bobby Roode

Order of Entrants?

Russ:  Bobby, Rusev, Jinder, Randy

Kent:  Bobby, Jinder, Rusev, Randy

Will anybody have a special entrance?

Russ:  Any more special than the spectacles that they normally are for these guys?  No.

Kent:  Yes, Bobby and Rusev with Aiden doing something.

Who takes the loss?

Russ:  Randy

Kent:  Jinder

Who wins?

Russ:  Rusev

Kent:  Rusev

 

  1.  RAW Women’s Championship Match – Alexa Bliss vs Nia Jax

Will Mickie accompany Alexa to the ring?

Russ:  No

Kent:  No

Any special entrances?

Russ:  No

Kent:  No

Will there be any outside interference?  If yes, by whom?

Russ:  Yes, Mickie James

Kent:  No

Will this match go longer than 7 minutes?

Russ:  No

Kent:  No

Winner?

Russ:  Nia

Kent:  Noa….I mean Nia.

Championship changing hands?

Russ:  Yes

Kent:  No

 

  1.  Smackdown Tag Team Championship Triple Threat Match – Usos vs New Day vs Bludgeon Brothers

Order of entrants?

Russ:  Bludgeon, New Day, Usos

Kent:  New Day, Bludgeon Brothers, Usos

Any special entrances?

Russ:  Yes, all

Kent:  Yes, New Day and Usos

Who takes the loss?

Russ: Xavier

Kent:  Kofi

Who wins it?

Russ:  Eric Rowan

Kent:  Luke

 

  1.  RAW Tag Team Championship Match – The Bar vs Braun Strowman and his mystery partner

Who comes out first?

Russ:  The Bar

Kent:  The Bar

Any special Entrances?

Russ:  No

Kent:  Yes, The Bar I hope

Who will Braun’s partner be?

Russ:  God willing it will be God himself.  

Kent:  People are saying Big Show, but I got Samoa Joe

Will Braun’s partner turn on him in the match?

Russ:  Yes

Kent:  Yes

Who takes the loss?

Russ:  Braun

Kent:  Braun

Who gets the win?

Russ:  Cesaro

Kent:  Sheamus

 

  1.  Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon vs Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn – If KO and Sami loses, they are fired, but if they win, they get their jobs back.

Any special entrances?

Russ:  Nope

Kent:  No need for one

Will anybody get a bigger pop than Daniel Bryan?

Russ:  Nope

Kent:  No, but Hogan, Taker, or Rock will rival it and be tough to distinguish any difference.

Will anybody turn heel or face during or after the match?

Russ:  Nope

Kent:  Yes, I still think this isn’t over.

Who takes the loss?

Russ:  Zayn

Kent:  Shane

Who takes the win?

Russ: Daniel Bryan

Kent:  Sami Zayn (Remember my Real Men of Honor stable idea?  It’s happening.)

Will Daniel Bryan do a diving headbutt?

Russ: No.

Kent:  YES!

 

  1.  Intercontinental Championship Triple Threat Match – The Miz vs Finn Balor vs Seth Rollins

Order of entrants?

Russ:  Seth, Finn, Miz

Kent:  Finn, Seth, Miz

Any special entrances?

Russ:  Yes, Finn and The Miz

Kent:  Yes, Finn should come out as the damn demon!!  And Seth with flaming pants!

Will anybody turn heel during this match?

Russ:  No.

Kent:  Yes, Seth which leads to his trade to SD where his gimmick is he whines

Who takes the loss?

Russ:  The Miz

Kent:  Seth

Who gets the win?

Russ: Finn  

Kent:  Finn

 

  1.  Ronda Rousey & Kurt Angle vs Stephanie McMahon & HHH

Order of entrants?

Russ:  HHH and Steph, Kurt and Rousey

Kent:  HHH & Steph, then Kurt, then Rousey

Will anybody have a special entrance?  (DUH!!)

Russ:  This is a definite yes.  

Kent:  If this ends up being a No, then I don’t want to watch Mania again.  HHH always does.

Will this match be good?

Russ:  Does laughing at it count?  If so then this will be great!  

Kent:  No, it’s a mixed tag match and WWE will be hellbent on pushing women

Will Ronda hurt anybody?

Russ:  No, I think they know what they are doing enough.  

Kent:  Herself

Will Ronda and Stephanie be in the ring together longer than 5 minutes?

Russ:  nope.

Kent:  God I hope not.  So yes, yes they will with lots of stalling.

Who takes the loss?

Russ:  Stephanie

Kent:  Stephanie

Who gets the win?

Russ:  Ronda

Kent:  Ronda

 

  1. Undertaker vs John Cena

Is this match actually happening?

Russ:  Yes, they have totally set this up to happen.  

Kent:  Yes, if not, I am rioting.

How do they set this up for the match to start?

Russ:  Cena comes out talks about loving this as a fan, probably during someone else segment.  Thats when the lights go dark and Taker comes out.

Kent:  I thought it would be during an Elias segment, but with the Rock rumored to be in attendance, Elias is the perfect person to be on the mic with The Rock.  I think you need to have Cena make the save after a post match beatdown. That sounds perfect for after the Daniel Bryan match because there should be a post match beatdown, I suspect.  That or possibly either tag team championship match.

Will Taker look good or bad in the ring, considering we have seen him both ways recently?

Russ:  I’ll wager better than last year.  

Kent:  Better than you would expect, but the match shouldn’t be too action packed allowing him to perform.  But I suspect Taker to be rusty.

Who gets the win?

Russ:  Taker because I don’t think Cena needs to win this.  

Kent:  I don’t want to say it.  I can’t. I won’t. I’d rather be wrong than disloyal, so Taker.

What is the finisher?

Russ:  Tombstone

Kent:  Escape from AA into Tombstone.

 

Bonus Deuce

  1.  Smackdown World Championship Match – AJ Styles vs Shinsuke Nakamura

Will either gentleman have a special entrance?

Russ:  No, nothing more than normal special.  

Kent:  Shinsuke seems likely, so yes.

What match # on the main card will this appear?  There’s 11 unless the Rock has an impromptu match.

Russ:  10, right before Roman and Brock

Kent:  9

Will this be the match of the night?

Russ:  This is definitely going to be up there.  There are several matches that could steal the title, but this will be one of the few that will be given the time it deserves.  So this has the best chance.

Kent:  There are so many good matches, it’s like do you take the one that should be or do you take the field that features Cena vs Taker, that IC match is stacked, SD tag title match could all steal the show.  I am going to say no..

What will be the finishing move?

Russ:  Kinshasa (sp?)  

Kent:  Styles Clash

Winner?

Russ:  Nakamura:  great time to pass the torch, while AJ goes to a show that isn’t a sinking ship.  

Kent:  AJ Styles.  I am over thinking this match, but Royal Rumble winners are practically a 50/50 chance now of winning and they have not been treating Shinsuke like the star he is.  Plus if you keep the belt on AJ, he can keep saying that Smackdown is the house that AJ Styles built.

 

  1. RAW Red Belt Championship Match – Brock Lesnar vs Roman Reigns

Any special entrances?

Russ: No

Kent:  No

Who comes out first?

Russ:  Roman

Kent:  Roman should

Will this match go longer than 15 minutes?

Russ:  No

Kent:  Yes

Will Brock turn purple?

Russ:  Yes (within the first 5 minutes.)

Kent:  Yes

How many superman punches will we see connect?

Russ:  5

Kent:  7

How many German suplexes will we see?

Russ:  12

Kent:  8

How many F5’s will succeed?

Russ:  2

Kent:  2

How many spears will we see?

Russ:  5 (2 from Brock and 3 from Roman)

Kent:  3

What will be the finishing move?

Russ:  Spear after about 3 Superman Punches

Kent:  Spear because Brock is susceptible to that move, just ask old Whisker Biscuit

Will this be Brock Lesnar’s final WWE match for the foreseeable future, meaning he isn’t resigning with WWE right now?

Russ:  Yes, he’s done.  

Kent:  No, he’s resigning

 

Final Thoughts – Quick Hits

  1.  Match of the Night?

Russ:  I want to say the IC title match, but I have a feeling they won’t be given enough time to shine properly.  So I’m going with Nak and AJ

Kent:  IC Title Match

  1. Worst match of the night on main card?

Russ:  RAW Women’s match: They won’t be given any time

Kent:  RAW women’s match or the Ronda match both sound awful.

  1. Shortest match of the night?

Russ:  Alexa vs Nia

Kent:  Alexa vs Nia

  1. Which match will we say deserved to have more time at the end of the night?

Russ:  IC Title Match

Kent:  AJ vs Shinsuke

  1.  Which match will have been given too much time?

Russ:  Asuka vs Charlotte

Kent:  Asuka vs Charlotte

  1.  Will this night be memorable for anything beyond Daniel Bryan’s return to the ring?

Russ: I’m sure, but I couldn’t tell you.  There are a lot of good things that this Mania is bringing to the table.  However, Since it is New Orleans the host of the worst Mania decisions this could be memorable for the wrong reasons.   

Kent:  Asuka’s streak ending, Daniel turning heel, Cena vs Taker, Stephanie’s major injury, Hogan, Rock

  1. Any surprise appearances aside from the Rock?

Russ:  Samoa Joe, maybe and of course some Legends

Kent:  Samoa Joe and somebody like Big Show and maybe Sanity gets called up for something.  To kill Daniel, Sami, and KO.

  1.  Will The Rock be there?

Russ:  Yes

Kent:  Yes

  1. Will this be the best Mania of the past 5 years?

Russ: Yes, I mean it doesn’t have very stiff competition to beat.   

Kent:  Without a doubt…..oh it’s in New Orleans….fuck…..yes…maybe.

  1. Who will interrupt Elias’ performance?

Russ:  Probably The Rock

Kent:  It could be so many people, but the Rock makes the most sense.

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Live To Win – February 23, 2017

Yeah, here we fucking go again.  I’m not making any bold claims.  We both know that I will probably give up far quicker than I should because I hate diets and exercising.  I do have a reason as to why I am back to this.

Monday, I went to the doctors, and the news wasn’t great.  My blood sugars are up to a level that require medication, my cholesterol is finally high, my blood pressure is absurd, and my heart beats are more frantic than ever.  So I made a deal with the doc that we;d do a follow up in 3 months, and I would do some blood work 2 weeks prior.  That gives me approximately 10 weeks to drop some weight and get myself heading in a better direction.  I honestly have no idea if I will achieve this or not.  I hope that I do, but I won’t know for 3 months.  In the meantime, I am dieting, exercising, and looking to start some yoga.  Fucking hell.

You know the drill by now.  I give you my exercise playlist, and you pretend that you care.  Deal?

All videos belong to the proper owners, and please support the artist.  Well except for the last one.  That guy is a total dickhead.

The Best of the Royal Rumble – 9 Deuce Style

Today, I’d like to take a look back at the best of what the Royal Rumble has to offer us.  I have broken it down 9 Deuce style. I am joined by my after PPV podcast partner, Steve, for this particular venture.  Keri and Russ basically flipped me off.  So here you go, this is what we consider the best of the Rumble.  Both of us have seen every single year, so you know that you are getting legit perspectives.   

The 9

  1.  Best save from elimination, meaning the coolest way(s) people have saved themselves from being eliminated.  I don’t know if this should be the Shawn Michaels award or the Kofi Kingston award.

Steve:  John Morrison in 2011, when  he got knocked into the guardrail and hung on.

Kent:  Morrison is my pick as well, but props to Kofi for walking on his hands in 2012 I think it was.

  1.  Best quick elimination from the match.  Old school fans may recall one of the Bushwackers getting eliminated in record time, and then Santino set the standard.  We aren’t caring about who was quickest, but rather which one was the best. The Elimination should occur before the next participant comes out.

Steve:  I’m going to go with the Bushwackers, something about how he was just completely unfazed about being tossed out right away and kept doing his walk right to the back.

Kent:  Jerry Lawler back in 97 when he wa son commentary, enters the ring, goes out in seconds and returns to the announce desk like he never even entered.  There are a ton of good ones to choose.  Warlord, Titus, Santino, Bushwackers, JBL, etc.

  1.  Favorite elimination from the Rumble.  This one is self explanatory.

Steve:  Maven eliminating the Undertaker is my favorite, just because it was so unexpected.  Also Macho Man getting himself eliminated is a good one.

Kent:  Sid eliminating Hogan in 1992 was awesome, Muhammad Hassan’s elimination in 2005 was great, but I will go with Benoit eliminating Big Show in 2004 because it was a neat way at the time and I just wasn’t sure if WWE ever truly had faith in Benoit.

  1.  Best rookie hazing during the match.  There are obvious times when the veterans have some fun with the young guys with various chops and other old school moves.  Give me your favorite example.

Kent:  Well Steve alluded to Maven eliminating Taker, and after that, he got his ass handed to him.  Still, Daniel Puder in 2005 was absolutely brutal with Eddie, Benoit, and Hardcore Holly.

  1.  Best Hoss showdown in the rumble.  In the Rumble, it’s inevitable for 2 big boys to square off and all of the focus on them.  What one was the best or your favorite?

Kent:  Giant Gonzales vs Taker in 1993 for all of the wrong reasons.  It’s still hilariously bad.  

  1.  Best Eliminator, or the Kane award, goes to your favorite wrestler who has his fair share of eliminations.  Something about the way that he does it, just pleases you.

Kent:  I really enjoyed Punk in 2010 holding his ground for a long time and owning that ring.

  1.  Best Survivor is for those guys that always seem to last long and entertain you doing so.  Maybe they have won the whole thing, maybe they have come up short.  This isn’t for just one year, it’s a sign of overall appreciation through the years, or maybe you just love what Ric Flair did in in 1992.  Woooooooo!

Kent:  Jericho is probably my pick with a nod to Rey, Cody, and Backlund in 93.

  1.  Worst Rumble of all time.  Yeah, this one is self explanatory.  Do you focus on the in ring work, the lack of stars, the terrible eliminations, the bad storyline leading in, the outcome of the match, or maybe everything was just too obvious from the get go.  Don’t let your hatred of Bluetista sway your pick.  Seriously…..don’t. .

Kent:  1993, look at the participants. They get rid of Flair, Perfect, and Dibiase so early and have nothing left.  Absolute trash.   

  1.  Best Rumble of all time.  Take everything I just said above in #8 and pretend it’s opposite day.  You probably still aren’t picking 2014, but you can.  Tell us why you chose this one.

Steve:  1992 should be everyone’s best.  It was for the title, Flair came in at 3 and won it, Heenan and Monsoon were great the entire night on commentary.  The after Rumble interview with Mean Gene telling someone off camera to put the cigarette out.

Kent:  I’ll go 2008, despite that being Cena’s year.  That Rumble had everything that you want in a rumble.  It had great stars, some returns and legends, and Cena coming back was actually incredible at the time, and still is today.  1992 finished second for me.

Bonus Deuce

  1.  Best surprise entrant in the Rumble.  Please, don’t get this confused with a returning wrestler, say somebody from injury.  No, this should be a big surprise that the average fan wouldn’t have known about.  Let’s call this the AJ Styles award to ruin anybody’s thunder if they try to pick him and make their pick seem obvious and stupid.  A female entrant would fall under this category if you wanted to be historic.

Steve:  Does Diesel in 2011 count? I believe it got Matt Striker fired so he has that going for him.

Kent:  Jericho in 2013 and to hold his own for so long was incredible to me.  I loved it.  Also, AJ Styles has to be mentioned.

  1.  Best returning entrant in the Rumble.  This should be a superstar that has been with the company and probably has just been injured.  They didn’t defect from ECW or WCW, they were already with the WWF/WWE.  Think of it as the HHH while listening to Creed’s “My Sacrifice”.

Steve:  John Cena in 2008.  Although it’s cool to hate him, and say everything he does is terrible, he came back from shoulder surgery way sooner than anyone should…which makes me think he has mutant healing powers, or took HGH.  It also had the crowd cheering him when his music hit, which for John Cena to have 100% of the crowd cheering is amazing.

Kent:  Cena for all of the reasons that Steve suggested.  I don’t care if he was on something like HGH, he was possibly missing Wrestlemania, and yet he returns for the Rumble.  Unreal!  Way better than HHH’s return, which was crammed down our gullet like a Women’s Revolution.

 

Finally, I would like to give you some interesting facts that I dug up on Wikipedia that I feel may interest you in the Rumble.  These are numbers and statistics that don’t get much love from commentary on WWE.

Longest Cumulative Time Spent in the Royal Rumble

HHH @ 3:59:37
Chris Jericho @ 3:55:59
HBK @ 3:42:30
Kane @ 3:38:46
Rey Mysterio @ 3:20:01
Cody Rhodes @ 3:08:30

Honestly, I’m surprised by Cody.  He’s only been in 7 or 8 of them while Shawn has been in 12, and HHH with 9.  Rey has been in at #1, 2, 4, and 8 in the past, and he always did well, except 2014.

Most Royal Rumble Appearances

Kane with 19
HBK with 12
Goldust and Big Show with 11
Taker and Rikishi with 10
Viscera, Mark Henry, Miz, HHH, Jericho,  and R Truth with 9

Basically, Kane should have this record for many years to come.  If he participates this Sunday, that will be 20 out of 30 Rumbles, or two thirds of all Rumbles.  Shawn’s #’s would be higher if he wasn’t out for 4 and a half years, obviously.  Taker and Mark Henry should be higher but injuries to big men is a hell of a thing.  Big Show has been involved in lots of singles matches or he would be higher.  Miz has a shot at Kane’s record in my opinion.

Most Cumulative Eliminations in the Rumble

Kane with 44
HBK with 39
Stone Cold with 36
Taker with 35
HHH with 33
Big Show with 31
Hulk Hogan with 27
Roman with 23
Cena with 22

I absolutely loathe this Roman Reigns bullshit.  He should have to prove himself before being handed all of these things.  Kane had to be Isaac Yankem and Fake Diesel before given his push.  Roman, well he’s Dwayne’s cousin with really moist hair.  I’m surprised that HHH doesn’t have more, and Big Show’s numbers are a travesty.  Big Show actually has a higher elimination average per Rumble than Kane.  Of course Roman is almost averaging 8 a year.  Yeah, would you look at that.Austina averaged 6, Hogan with 6.75, but Roman has 7.67 average.  Stupid WWE!!!

 

With that being said, don’t expect any records broke this year, but lots of fun….hopefully.  Enjoy!

Please check us out at facebook.com/9deuceblog or on Twitter @official9deuce.  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question at wrestling@9deuce.com.  Thank you.

All pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are property of WWE and wwe.com.

The Royal Rumble Retrospective – Part 2 of 6 (1993-1997)

Welcome to the 9 Deuce exclusive, The Royal Rumble Retrospective.  This has long been the most beloved match of the year for a huge portion of wrestling fans.  Every year, I tend to watch a few of these and have a great time.  This year, I wanted to go back and revisit each and every Rumble from the beginning and find out what each Rumble brought to the table and try to determine my personal favorite.  I’m not going to say the best, as your criteria is probably very different, and incorrect, from mine. This has been an arduous task, but I hope you enjoy this project which will have taken about 35-40 hours when all is said and done.  I will provide links to all of these in each edition for easier navigating. A new part will be added daily until completion. I have also linked each Rumble to it’s Wikipedia page so you can see all the info that I didn’t provide.

Part 1 (1988-1992)
Part 2 (1993-1997)
Part 3 (1998-2002)
Part 4 (2003-2007)
Part 5 (2008-2012)
Part 6 (2013-2016)

 

1993 – One of, if not, THE all time worst Royal Rumbles from all perspectives.  Here’s what you have to work with. You have Hogan out because of an injury, I think he may have been filming, and same with Beefcake.  There was no Shawn Michaels, therefore no Diesel.  Hall and Bret were in a singles match, as was Bam Bam and Boss Man.  So you are left with Ric Flair who was on his way out, Ted Dibiase who was close to being done wrestling, Mr Perfect who was almost done wrestling for WWF, 44 year old Backlund, Macho Man who was on his way out at #30, a dominant Yokozuna, and the Undertaker who was taken out by this terrible creation known as Giant Gonzalez.  Yeah, this was a fuckery of epic proportions. So many dull points of midcarders at best.  Hell, Lawler even looked adequate here, and I never say that. I will give it a 2.5 for Mr. Perfect randomly punching Million Dollar Man in the arm after getting eliminated, and for the debut of Giant Gonzalez.  At least Savage didn’t eliminate himself.

  1.  Best Save – Owen skinning the cat
  2.  Best Quick Elimination – Papa Shango
  3.  Favorite Elimination – Perfect
  4.  Best Rookie Hazing
  5.  Best Hoss Showdown – Giant Gonzalez vs Taker, Yokozuna vs Earthquake
  6.  Best Eliminator – Yokozuna with 7 
  7.  Best Survivor – Bob Backlund @ 1:01:10
  8.  Best Surprise Entrant – Tenru, Carlos Colon
  9.  Best Returning Superstar – Bob Backlund

1994 – Talk about a bad time to be a WWF fan.  We are in a place where Hogan is gone.  They are trying their best to make stars in Razor Ramon, Bret Bart, Lex Luger, Tatanka, Owen Hart, and Diesel, but it got them nowhere.  Half of those guys would be gone in a little more than 2 years, to WCW.  This is also not a year of putting in great talent early on, as the Steiner Brothers, Samu, Kwang, Owen, Bart Gunn, Diesel, Bob Backlund, Billy Gunn, and Virgil are the first 10.  That is so bad.  The sad part is that it never feels like it gets much better.  I did enjoy the dominant hoss clearing the ring, in Diesel, but he got rid of Backlund, which is just ironic considering that Bob would be the world champ that Nash beats in November. Bad planning.  Was Macho Man wearing pink and black a wink to the audience about who he liked?  Times when Diesel, Bam Bam, and Crush are fighting each other just failed because the crowd had nobody to cheer on, and then they toss in Mabel.  Wow, so bad.  The final four consisted of Bret,Lex Luger, HBK, and Fatu (Rikishi). Which doesn’t sound so bad, and in 3-5 years, this would have been amazing.  At the time, Lex wasn’t doing great, Bret was still iffy as a main eventer, and Shawn hadn’t quite made it yet.  Fatu was just a tag team wrestler.  Yeah, the modern day comparison would be Cesaro, Ambrose, Baron Corbin, and Jey Uso or Luke Gallows, only somehow less impressive.  With the double elimination finish, it’s hilarious watching Earl Hebner fighting for Bret to be the winner.  God, this is only slightly better than 93’s.  I’d give this a 4.4 due to the unique finish.

  1.  Best Save –
  2.  Best Quick Elimination – Billy Gunn was fastest, but Virgil’s made me laugh more, as did Backlund’s.
  3.  Favorite Elimination – Bret and Lex both being losers
  4.  Best Rookie Hazing
  5.  Best Hoss Showdown – Mabel and Diesel but not really
  6.  Best Eliminator – Diesel with 7
  7.  Best Survivor – Bam Bam Bigelow @ 30:12
  8.  Best Surprise Entrant – Virgil???
  9.  Best Returning Superstar

1995 – Well, the WWE lured Pamela Anderson at her peak, to attend the Royal Rumble, which was smart.  She was magnificent at the time.  Hell, it may have been the highlight of the event.  I don’t say this as a perv.  This was another year in a terrible, boring doldrum.  Shawn drew #1, British Bulldog drew #2.  They are the first 2 and last 2 participants in the rumble.  Everything else is beyond pointless.  This was just milking Shawn for all he was worth, and Bulldog was one of the few guys that could hang with him.  Fortunately, entrants came out every 60 seconds, making this the shortest Royal Rumble I think.  Good decision as this is just terrible.  Other notable entrants were Owen Hart, King Kong Bundy, Lex Luger, Mabel, and Bob Backlund.  Seriously, look it up.  This is just beyond awful.  7 guys lasted under 24 seconds, including Owen Hart, both Buswhackers, and Backlund.  Like, what the hell were they thinking?  Honestly?  This was the best that they had to offer?  You had IRS, Taker, Razor, Jeff Jarrett, Bret, and Diesel.  Perhaps you should have double booked some guys to make appearances to add star power.  .  The washed up stars plus the young guys that they couldn’t make into stars.  I mean, Crus was big as was Doink at the time.  That’s the hell that we are dealing with.  This was all about getting Shawn over and it worked, to an extent.  Overall, I give this a 4.6 because it’s so short so not as grueling.  That’s the only plus.  Also, Vince proclaimed that 2 men will never go out simultaneously ever again.  Yeah.  That ending is friggin good, it’s a really well done ending.

  1.  Best Save – Shawn at the end for obvious reason
  2.  Best Quick Elimination – Seriously, take your pick.  Mo running down to the ring, gets in, runs to King Kong Bundy who back body drops him out.  Hilarious!
  3.  Favorite Elimination – Duke the dumpster Drose took out a ref, I think Earl Hebner
  4.  Best Rookie Hazing
  5.  Best Hoss Showdown – Mabel vs King Kong Bundy which was really good
  6.  Best Eliminator – Shawn with 8
  7.  Best Survivor – Shawn & Bulldog @ 38:41
  8.  Best Surprise Entrant – Dick Murdoch
  9.  Best Returning Superstar

1996 – Well, this is the end of the awful “New Generation” era and we start transitioning to the Attitude era.  There’s still another bad year, but you can start seeing the seeds planted.  Until then, we get this sort of nonsense.  Even Wikipedia has the most barebones explanation for this, so that may help you figure out how mediocre this is.  On the plus side, they finally play the wrestler’s entrance music when they come out.  Yay.  It’s all downhill from here.  When you think stars have you ever once thought about Henry O Godwin, the hog farmer?  How about Bob ‘Sparkplug’ Holly, the racecar driver?  Old ass Jerry lawler?  Old ass, but slightly younger than Lawler by a few months Bob Backlund?  Mabel….I mean, he has been around for how long and accomplished what exactly?  Way past his prime and our of shape Jake the snake Roberts?  You get the point.  Aside from HHH, who was still pretty green, you simply had talent that was too young/green, or too old to make this feel exciting.  It really doesn’t get much better either.  55 year old Dory Funk Jr is #8. How you doing?  We finally have a highlight!  Lawler is hiding under the ring.  We get Yokozuna out, and he was the best guy in 93, so he should logically kill everybody.  Guess what happens?  He doesn’t.  We round out our first 10 with the 1-2-3 Kid, who got chased off by Razor Ramon for a bit.  Wow, so bad.  Why did Owen Hart have such bad music, considering his character, it never fit.  I feel that Savio Vega was criminally misused during this time period.  HBK enters and works HHH, then X Pac, then Owen while Vader and Yoko duke it out, which is awesome.  Then Shawn gets to eliminate both guys simultaneously in the fakest elimination ever.  I have now checked out. Vader gets back in the ring, eliminates Shawn, HHH, and Holly, and they say that those don’t count.  REALLY?  This fucking match and it’s bullshit inconsistencies.  Why does it count every other time that it happens?  I may have to score this even lower than anticipated.   Shawn wins, nothing interesting happens aside from Diesel and Isaac Yankem, who is now Kane.  I give this one a 3.0 and I advise against watching this one. Kama, better known as the Godfather, had one of, if not his best Rumble, lasting over 15 minutes.  Also, Austin made his debut in the Rumble, as The Ringmaster.  Man, this is wretched.

  1.  Best Save – Lawler hiding under the ring
  2.  Best Quick Elimination – Both members of the Squat team were great.  The highlight of this year, aside from watching Vader work a great match.
  3.  Favorite Elimination – Vader eliminating HBK despite it not counting because I loathed Shawn at this point.
  4.  Best Rookie Hazing
  5.  Best Hoss Showdown – Vader vs Yokozuna
  6.  Best Eliminator – Shawn Michaels with 8
  7.  Best Survivor – Hunter Hearst Helmsley @ 48:01
  8.  Best Surprise Entrant – Dory Funk???
  9.  Best Returning Superstar

1997 – This was a shitty year.  WCW had raided the WWF’s talent roster.  They had to re-utilize 6 guys from previous matches including HHH, Goldust, Vader, Taker, Faarooq, and Ahmed Johnson.  So that only left a handful of guys to work the match and they just weren’t up to snuff, except Stone Cold, and so this is the night that Austin really carried a whole PPV.  Bret did his job.  Alas, Mankind, Rocky, and Diesel (Kane) were all too green to hold their own, the Mexicans were simply cannon fodder, and then the legends like Jake and Terry were just too old to do much.  As much as I loved the finish, this was a bad Rumble.  I would avoid this unless you are a hardcore Austin or Bret fan.  I give this a 4.1.  Just not enough talent at the moment.  They probably did the best that they could all things considering.

  1.  Best Save – Austin being eliminated and then returning to the ring and eliminating Bret, Taker, and Vader and winning
  2.  Best Quick Elimination – “Razor Ramon”, Bart Gunn, Jake the Snake Roberts
  3.  Favorite Elimination – Ahmed Johnson eliminating himself for no reason whatsoever, Mil Mascaras eliminating himself and not understanding what he did
  4.  Best Rookie Hazing
  5.  Best Hoss Showdown Taker vs Vader or Austin vs Bret
  6.  Best Eliminator – Stone Cold with 10
  7.  Best Survivor – Stone Cold @ 45:07
  8.  Best Surprise Entrant – Mil Maascaras?
  9.  Best Returning Superstar

 

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The Royal Rumble Retrospective – Part 1 of 6 (1988-1992)

Welcome to the 9 Deuce exclusive, The Royal Rumble Retrospective.  This has long been the most beloved match of the year for a huge portion of wrestling fans.  Every year, I tend to watch a few of these and have a great time.  This year, I wanted to go back and revisit each and every Rumble from the beginning and find out what each Rumble brought to the table and try to determine my personal favorite.  I’m not going to say the best, as your criteria is probably very different, and incorrect, from mine. This has been an arduous task, but I hope you enjoy this project which will have taken about 35-40 hours when all is said and done.  I will provide links to all of these in each edition for easier navigating. A new part will be added daily until completion. I have also linked each Rumble to it’s Wikipedia page so you can see all the info that I didn’t provide.

Part 1 (1988-1992)
Part 2 (1993-1997)
Part 3 (1998-2002)
Part 4 (2003-2007)
Part 5 (2008-2012)
Part 6 (2013-2016)

 

1988 – This was the first one, and they were figuring out what in the blue hell to do.  This was a mess, but the fans liked it.  It only has 20 men, no real prize at the end.  It was a bit of a clusterfuck.  Technically, it was probably worse than the 93 Rumble, but that was the style then.  By 93, they really had no excuses.  This one had a ton of legends. I would say 60-70% of the people in the match are hall of famers.  No Macho Man, Rick Rude, Ricky Steamboat, Hogan, Andre, Ted Dibiase, or Superfly.  Duggan may be one of the all time worst winners, and that’s only because they failed to follow this win up with a huge push thanks to everybody ahead of him.  I’d give this a 3.0, just slightly ahead of 93.

  1.  Best Save
  2.  Best Quick Elimination – Junkyard Dog at 2:30 was the shortest
  3.  Favorite Elimination – The last one because it meant that it was over
  4.  Best Rookie Hazing
  5.  Best Hoss Showdown
  6.  Best Eliminator – One Man Gang with 6
  7.  Best Survivor – Bret Hart @ 25:42
  8.  Best Surprise Entrant
  9.  Best Returning Superstar

 

1989 – The year that Axe and Smash of Demolition drew #1 and #2.  How great was that moment?  It was huge, and it was awesome.  Demolition was my first favorite tag team, and I absolutely enjoyed myself in the beginning.  Interestingly enough, no managers allowed ringside in this one.  Also, Demolition got their music played, but they appear to be it.  The big event of this one was Hogan being a greedy ass and eliminating Bad News Brown and his best friend, and partner, Macho Man Randy Savage, which caused Savage to flip the hell out.  Hulk gets double teamed by the Twin Towers, Big Bossman and Akeem, he gets eliminated, and in traditional Hogan fashion, he cheats and whines about how it’s not fair.  Seriously, why did you people cheer this guy?  In the end, Big John Studd was victorious over Akeem and Million Dollar Man.  This felt beyond anticlimactic.  He wasn’t even around the full calendar year..  This Rumble had better participants but was still a jumbled up mess.  I would have had Bad News Brown last longer, that was a big mistake as he was money.  All in all, I call it a 3.9 and I don’t think you miss anything if you miss this one.  

  1.  Best Save – Marty Janetty hanging on by his toes was pretty awesome.
  2.  Best Quick Elimination – Warlord in under 2 seconds
  3.  Favorite Elimination  – Andre eliminating himself when Jake came back out with his snake
  4.  Best Rookie Hazing
  5.  Best Hoss Showdown – Akeem vs. Big John Studd
  6.  Best Eliminator – Hogan had 9
  7.  Best Survivor – Mr Perfect at 27:58
  8.  Best Surprise Entrant
  9.  Best Returning Superstar

 

1990 – With Hogan’s popularity waning slightly and the Ultimate Warrior rapidly ascending the ranks of WWF, the question was which of these 2 would win.  We already know who wins a power struggle when Hogan is involved.  Million Dollar Man drew #1.  I hate that because he clearly had demonstrated a willingness to sell his # to move up, so he should never be this early.  Not a lot of fans wearing merchandise I am noticing.  #4 is Jake the Snake, and I have noticed that Jake has been incredibly over these first 3 Rumbles.  Wow, they followed Jake with Macho Man then Rowdy Roddy Piper.  4 hosses in first 6 picks.  That concerns me.  Jake and Ted are always fun to watch fight, but Piper vs Savage was really great too.  Managers are allowed this year, and it fills up fast on the outside.  Funny seeing the Warlord smiling.  Macho and Dibiase are working well together.  Savage got super pissed when Dusty eliminated him.  The hosses just keep coming.  After Piper we have had Bret, Bad News Brown, Warlord, Dusty, and Andre the Giant.  Lots of hall of famer.  This is the most stacked Rumble yet.  Ahhh the old Piper eliminates Bad News, and Bad News grabs and eliminates Piper.  This shit still happens.  Bobby Heenan and Mr. Fuji almost getting into a fight was great. Demolition and Haku have made their way out along with The Red Rooster and Akeem.  Absolutely stacked.  Wow, Demolition eliminated Andre.  That was impressive.  Wow, Superfly Jimmy Snuka came out and eliminated Akeem.  What the hell?  We get Dino Bravo who was pretty big and then Earthquake.  Earthquake takes out Dusty and Axe really fast.  It took 5 guys to get Earthquake out.  No love for the hosses this year.  When the Ultimate Warrior comes out, the crowd goes nuts.  Jim Neidhart, Rick Martel, Tito Santana, Honkey Tonk Man are out next and then Warrior eliminates the new record holder, Million Dollar Man.  Hogan is out shortly thereafter and it goes nuts again, as expected.  They give us Shawn Michaels for 12 seconds.  Yes, HBK for 12 seconds.  We then get Hogan vs Warrior by themselves and get the simultaneous clothesline spot, which is iconic.  The crowd was incredibly hot for this, and this was a precursor to Wrestlemania 6.  The Rumble finishes off with Barbarian, Ravishing Rick Rude, Hercules, and Mr Perfect.  This may have the most hall of famers in a Royal Rumble.  So I would say the most star studded, but an, 2 minutes a pop is so long.  The pacing was really good and this is the year they figured their stuff out and had all of their best in the ring together.  Hogan wins, obviously.  I’d give this a 7.3.

  1.  Best Save
  2.  Best Quick Elimination – Shawn Michaels is by far the shortest at 12 seconds
  3.  Favorite Elimination – Piper eliminating Bad News, followed by Bad News eliminating Piper and then brawling to the back, Demolition eliminating Andre
  4.  Best Rookie Hazing
  5.  Best Hoss Showdown – Jake vs Ted
  6.  Best Eliminator – Hogan and Warrior had 6 apiece, Hoagn’s were more impressive as he eliminated Warrior
  7.  Best Survivor – Million Dollar man Ted Dibiase @ 44:47
  8.  Best Surprise Entrant
  9.  Best Returning Superstar

 

 

– Warrior had just lost the World Heavyweight Championship that he beat Hogan for, to Sgt Slaughter earlier in the night.  This year was basically the same as the year before, minus the excitement.  Very redundant and boring.  You had Legion of Doom, Texas Tornado, taker, and Shane Douglas, but everybody else was in last year’s Rumble I think, well Roma and maybe the Nasty Boys.  The men they replaced were better.  This just didn’t work for me.  I am giving it a 4.0 as I was bored as all hell during this one.

  1.  Best Save
  2.  Best Quick Elimination – Bushwhacker Luke by Earthquake was hilarious
  3.  Favorite Elimination Legion of Doom eliminated the Undertaker.  I love Taker, but glad it was them who got the elimination and not Hogan.
  4.  Best Rookie Hazing – Shane Douglas
  5.  Best Hoss Showdown – Hogan and Earthquake I guess, Bulldog vs Taker
  6.  Best Eliminator – Hulk Hogan with 7
  7.  Best Survivor – Rick Martel @ 52:17
  8.  Best Surprise Entrant
  9.  Best Returning Superstar

 

1992 – The year the Rumble came to Albany, and my 11 year old self was there.  No, I can’t ever find me on camera.  This is all about Flair, to the untrained eye.  This was huge at the time.  Just as important, this was the first time that fans really seemed to lose love for Hogan, I mean fans were openly swearing about Hogan.  Sid also made his impact felt.  Then there is the part where Macho eliminated himself, then rejoined the match.  Just delightful.  Shawn also is now the HBK, which is great.  Flair’s promo prior to the match was solid.  The best thing though, above everything else is Bobby the Brain Heenan’s commentary.  “It isn’t fair to Flair” is one of the greatest lines ever in commentary.  This is the first great Royal Rumble.  Things flowed incredibly well together, lots of chokes and eye pokes.  The Hogan fuckery at the end does knock a point off and no huge Hoss showdown, otherwise, amazing.  I give this an 8.4.

  1.  Best Save – Commentary team saying that a wrestler has to propel a wrestler for it to count as an elimination
  2.  Best Quick Elimination  – Macho Man eliminates himself
  3.  Favorite Elimination – Macho Man….duh
  4.  Best Rookie Hazing – Texas Tornado, Taker
  5.  Best Hoss Showdown – Piper vs Flair
  6.  Best Eliminator – Sid with 6
  7.  Best Survivor – Flair @ 1:00:02
  8.  Best Surprise Entrant – None
  9.  Best Returning Superstar – None

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The Wrestling Mount Rushmore

I assume you know what this is gonna be about, but if not, that is why we have introductory paragraphs. The idea is, what 4 wrestler belong on the Mount Rushmore of wrestling.  One has to think about the criteria. First of all, let’s establish a time frame. Whether this is fair or not, I am starting at 1985, the year of Wrestlemania 1.This eliminates a lot of truly great legends. this also eliminates me trying to guess what crowd reactions were, how they impacted ratings, tickets, sponsors, championships, just so many things to take into consideration. I know going into this, the choices are going to seem obvious, but half of the fun is the elimination process, right? So let’s start throwing names out there and see where we end up.

Andre the Giant

Why he’s being considered: He’s the first inductee into the WWF Hall of Fame. He may be the only wrestler who’s name was just as big as Hulk Hogan’s. He went into acting and did an honest to God great movie in the Princess Bride. Helped cement Hogan as face of the company and passed the torch at WM 3. Legitimate once in a lifetime performer.

Why he doesn’t make it: He started in WWF in 73, the bulk of his work came prior to the cut off date. Had he been born 10-15 years later, my god, things would have been so different. His timeframe simply doesn’t fit the criteria, otherwise he makes a hell of a claim. Points for knocking out Warrior when Warrior wouldn’t follow Andre’s instructions during a match.

Macho Man Randy Savage

Why he’s being considered: To this day, almost 20 years after his pinnacle in the business, I literally just heard the crowd in Boston cheering his name when CM Punk hit the elbow off the top rope. He’s still relevant. WWF world champ twice, one of the all time greatest IC champs, 4 time WCW world champ, World War 3 winner, headlined 4 of the first 5 Summerslams, main evented WM 4, 5, & 8 and stole WM 3 with Ricky Steamboat and WM 7 with Warrior in the career match. Perfected and may have originated the jealous boyfriend in wrestling with Miss Elizabeth. Allowed a snake to bite him. Epic slim jim commercials that people still remember. Every guy has tried to impersonate him at some point in their life. He made a rap album and called Hulk Hogan a coward. He got a role in Spiderman.

Why he doesn’t make it:  He’s probably top 10 material, but he doesn’t make the cut as he was never given the ball to run with it enough times for long enough periods. That, and the rap album. His appearance in TNA was terrible and an absolute abomination. Also, he may have fucked Stephanie McMahon. Not sure whether that belonged in this segment or second segment.

Ric Flair

Why he’s being considered: 16 time world champion, the jet flying, limousine riding nature boy, one of the most charismatic wrestlers of all time, could wrestle for an hour, made Sting among others, 4 horseman, Evolution, actually lived his gimmick, won the 92 Royal Rumble that I attended

Why he doesn’t make it: Way too much time spent in WCW, never had that proper Hogan feud in WWF, one of the toughest omissions

Hulk Hogan

Why he’s being considered: He’s Hulk Hogan, he headlined Wrestlemania 1-9 & 18. He made wrestling cool in the 80’s, Vince built a company around this guy. He is considered the icon of wrestling. He left WWF, goes to WCW, makes them relevent, they start up Nitro, gets stale, takes the chance of a lifetime, goes heel with NWO, reinvents himself and gets a second life in his career. You go to a wrestling event, you most likely see somebody dressed as Hogan.

Why he doesn’t make it: ……..He makes it, this is obvious.

Sting

Why he’s being considered: Has done damn near everything there is to do in wrestling in WCW and TNA, like Hogan, his career became stagnant and was revitalized by NWO when he became the Crow version of Sting. He was for all intents and purposes WCW’s version of the Undertaker as far as being their mainstay, they guy they could put in any feud and it would still feel important.

Why he doesn’t make it: He never wrestled in WWF. Now even if he has a run, the time has passed. Had he signed when WCW got bought out, the argument could have been made for Sting honestly. Still, tough omission.

Vadar

Why he’s being considered: It’s Vadar time, was one of the most gifted big men of all time, akin to Bam Bam, but main evented more, main evented WCW and WWF

Why he doesn’t make it: A really bad video.

Bret Hart

Why he’s being considered: Along with HBK, he helped bridge the gap between Rock N Wrestling era to Attitude Era. In a way makes a more compelling argument than HBK despite me liking HBK more and I like HBK a lot more. Bret helped make so many people. He gave Bulldog his best match. He gave HBK his first championship. He made Austin. He made Owen. He had teh awesome figure four around the ring post on the outside. Most importantly though, when he left WWF, that gave us the Montreal Screwjob, he gave WCW too much false hope and they utterly squandered his greatness, and helped create the greatest heel of all time in Mr McMahon which was the most important aspect in the turnaround in the Monday night wars.

Why he doesn’t make it: His time at the top as “The Man” is only a couple of years, always seemingly overshadowed. Kind of a whiny bitch for quite a few years.

Shawn Micheals

Why he’s being considered: So you just read the Bret stuff. HBK wasn’t as great a technician as Bret, but he was so charismatic. He was and still is a great cocky prick. Degeneration X pushed the boundaries. DX was instrumental in getting fans to switch from WCW, whether it was lewd comments or getting girls to flash. He taught HHH a lot in how to work a crowd. Put Austin over before retiring for years. He comes back, steals the show, acts like he never missed a beat and becomes champ again, has some of the best feuds including against HHH, Jericho, Flair, and of course stealing the show against Taker in back to back Wrestlemania’s. HHH tried doing the same and it paled in comparison.

Why he doesn’t make it: That 4 and a half year lay off honestly. If he stays healthy, he puts himself really high on this list.

Undertaker

Why he’s being considered: Greatest gimmick wrestler of all time. Greatest big man wrestler of all time. Capable of taking the shittiest storylines and often makes them watchable. Everybody wants to call HBK Mr. Wrestlemania, Taker deserves that nickname just as much. HBK ain’t ever had to work with Giant Gonzalez. Never left WWE during the rough years, one of the most loyal and respected guys in the locker room. More important than anything else, I think he is the icon of WWE, and his streak shall never be broken.

Why he doesn’t make it: He makes it, when you have the most important streak in wrestling history, more so than Backlund, Sammartino, and Goldberg.

Stone Cold Steve Austin

Why he’s being considered: Was the face of the company at it’s peak during the attitude era. The guy who rebelled against his boss and got away with it. He drank beer, gave the middle finger, did his own thing, and looked like a bad ass while doing it. And he could work a hell of a match when he wanted to, his promo skills were top notch, had tons of charisma, a great mind for the business, and sold a ton of merchandise.

Why he doesn’t make it: ………

Mick Foley

Why he’s being considered: Because he’s the hardcore legend. Because of Hell in the Cell. Because he is genuinely one of the nicest guys in the business and is very approachable and sincere. He brought hardcore wrestling to the warped minds of Americans. He is one of the few guys who had prominent feuds in WCW, ECW, WWF, and TNA. Amazing at promos and master of the cheap pop.

Why he doesn’t make it: Never truly considered “the man” at any point in his career.

The Rock

Why he’s being considered: The most electrifying man in sports entertainment, multitime everything champion in WWF. Willing to put people over moreso than most big names. Considered by most to be top 3 all time on the mic, cut some of the funniest, most scathing promos in history. Not the greatest wrestler, but had a good sense of timing.Gave back to the industry. Along with Austin was the face of the attitude era.

Why he doesn’t make it: ……….

HHH

Why he’s being considered:  He had a hell of a run on top as the man in the main event. Was at the helm of DX and Evolution, member of the Corporation, married Stephanie McMahon, so just involved in upper card matches for a long period of time. 10 time world champ now I think. Puts up great matches usually, especially in brawls or specialty environments. Works well with any type of wrestler, underated trait, good if not great promo. Was a great heel. Helped make quite a few wrestlers.

Why he doesn’t make it:  Honestly, just barely misses the cut. He was much closer than most people would probably like, but it’s true if you really want the truth. 7 or 8th probably.

Goldberg

Why he’s being considered: Because if I left him off some jackass would say, “What about Goldberg?” he looked intense, had a good entrance song and was strong and very popular due to his streak.

Why he doesn’t make it: Whisker Biscuit was a prima donna bitch. I don’t like him at all.

Kurt Angle

Why he’s being considered: Probably the best wrestler I have ever watched. Yeah, he’s that damn good. Not only that, he was amazing on the mic, both serious and comedic. On top of that, the only wrestler I have met twice and a very nice dude. Can still go. Probably the most impressive rookie ever. Bald.

Why he doesn’t make it:  He doesn’t have enough time as the man in the big leagues. His insistence in pushing his body too far was such a concern that he ended up getting released and going to TNA because Vince feared for his safety. Fuck, that is scary. And Vince was right for doing so. All the potential and talent in the world, but he needed to slow down, and never did.

Brock Lesnar

Why he’s being considered: If Kurt isn’t the greatest rookie of all time, then this guy is. The best natural athlete ever in wrestling quite possibly. Nah, he just is. If he doesn’t have diverticulitis, my god, he goes on to be a legend in fighting as well as wrestling.

Why he doesn’t make it: His heart was never in it totally, still isn’t, it;s just not his personality. Unlike other guys who eat, sleep, and breathe wrestling, Brock is a farm boy at heart who is a dad and husband and those are his priorities, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Chris Jericho

Why he’s being considered: First ever undisputed champion. Never injured. Great promo and in ring work. Still finds ways to reinvent himself and be entertaining. Still somehow underrated.

Why he doesn’t make it: Never enough time as the full fledged man, held down too much in his prime by HHH, sorry but it’s the truth.

John Cena

Why he’s being considered: Whether us adults like it or not, this guy has been a main eventer for almost a decade now. His brand is worth almost 100 million. He now has his own clothing line at KMart. He’s not going heel any time soon. He is what he is. He will break Flair’s record. He is to kids nowadays what Hogan was to us 20 years ago. Interestingly enough, kids started rebelling against Hogan towards the end and he went to WCW and when that fell flat, he had to go heel to remain relevant. Let’s hope history eventually repeats itself. Everybody involved deserves it. They need to build up some new stars now though. That is a blog for later.

Why he doesn’t make it: Unfortunately, he has to make it, he’s too important to wrestling. I don’t hate Cena, I admire him, I like him. I respect the hell out of the guy and all the charity work and make a wish work he does, that stuff is tremendous, I’m just sick of his on screen character.

Ultimate Warrior

Why he’s being considered: I have to, I have a pair of testicles and grew up in the 80’s. Remember me just mentioning getting sick of Hogan and how the tide started turning? You know why? Because there was a cool alternative and it was the ultimate Warrior. Unfortunately, he was a fuckhead and didn’t do what was best for business. He had strong runs as the man though, insanely popular. Most males in their 30’s know who he is. Not as recognizable as Macho man, but damn close surprisingly.

Why he doesn’t make it: He’s a fuckhead. Really, just a complete dumbass that didn’t do right by the business and was almost as dumb as Goldberg. Too full of himself. Would just quit. Cut the craziest promos ever (part of his appeal as well). Terrible worker. Just can’t, but he had to be in this blog.

Edge

Why he’s being considered: Edge deserves a lot more respect than he is often given. While Cena was given so much, Edge busted his ass. Edge became one half of the greatest tag team in WWE history. I still say Dudleys are greatest in all of wrestling, but E&C in WWE only. Edge is 14 time tag team champ, 5 time IC champ, 1 time US, 1 time King of the Ring, Triple Crown winner, royal Rumble winner, 2 time Money in the Bank winner, 2 time slammy award winner, 11 time world heavyweight/WWE champion, and hall of famer. Who on this list has a better resume statistically speaking? Flair and Jericho are the only comparable I would think. He was a good face, but a great chickenshit heel with a great viscous streak. He could be hilarious, rude, lewd, and downright mean when needed. On a personal note, I was there in Albany when he retired, and it was a genuinely sad night, not gonna lie. I wish he had 3-5 more years. He seemed like a well liked hard working guy that gave back to the business.

Why he doesn’t make it: He wrestled in the same era as Cena, so unless he was wrestling Cena or Taker, the spotlight never shined brightly enough on him, plain and simple. During the time frame, he performed in probably more great matches than Cena, but they weren’t always the main event. It sucks, but he may well go down as the Macho Man to Cena’s Hogan. Or maybe Randy Orton will be Macho.  Hmmm.

So with that being said, the final say on the wrestling Mount Rushmore are these 4.

1. Hulk Hogan – OBVIOUS

2. John Cena – Modern day Hogan sadly

3. Undertaker – In 20 years, people will still remember the streak, Hell in a cell, his confrontation with Kane. They will remember his 20+ years of greatness.

4. Stone Cold Steve Austin – He was the face of the Attitude era, the best era in wrestling history.

Honestly, I know a lot of people think the Rock belongs, but he doesn’t belong anymore than Bret, Flair, HHH, or HBK to be honest. Had Rock not gone to do movies, you’d be correct, but I am sorry, his run as a wrestler is not THAT impressive. While he did it, sure, he was amazing for awhile. But he road the coat tails of Austin.and Vince. Let’s not forget, HHH was very instrumental in the Rock’s ascension as they went up the rankings together basically, and were awesome. In the late 90’s, if you went in a mall, you was likely to see a few Austin 3:16 shirts, not always guaranteed to see even one rock shirt. And Taker over the Rock is a no brainer in my opinion for longevity and what he has meant to the industry. Look at when I posted on FB, damn near everybody mentioned Taker. that tells me something.

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