Russ and I had to review this night of 2 matches and a bunch of nonsense. Huh, that’s what I wrote for the preview and I was not wrong!!! Over on our podcast, Are You Not Kentertained we discussed this and other topics that may or may not be relevant. Please enjoy.
Good Brothers def Miztourage
Russ: If mediocre kickoff match had a face this would be it. Nothing really worth noting except that both teams looked ok. I hope they start moving The Good Brothers up the tag team ladder soon because they deserve it. You could skip this one.
Kent: I read about this match. Nothing remotely unexpected occurred. The Good Brothers won. This would have been a mediocre match on RAW, so yeah., not PPV quality. Both teams tried to work with what they had, and I think we will get more from G&A vs The Revival moving forward, or some I hope.
Rating: 2.5 due to no excitement or build up
Alexa Bliss def Sasha, Bayley, Mickie, Sonya, and Mandy to retain her belt in the Elimination Chamber
Russ: I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by this match. I figured it would probably be good, but this went above what I was expecting. The pacing was good and the spots were there, which helped make this good. However, what put this over the top for me was some really good storytelling in the ring. Banks turning on Bayley, Bliss running away and Mickie still showing she has it are just a few things in-ring stories that helped make this match better than the rumble. Finally, Bliss’s speech at the end was just phenomenal. The crowd’s reaction to her was priceless.
Rating: 6.9 Get your mind outta the gutter!
Kent: I really thought that this match delivered at the right pace, told a lot of good stories, and in the end, it made a lot of good sense. I honestly thought Absolution would be in the final 3 but this was the better story, I simply didn’t trust WWE to tell it. As much as I loathed the women’s Royal Rumble, I truly enjoyed this match. Was it anything astounding? No, but I would watch it again.
Rating: 6.2 Not a match of the year candidate, but good, and probably one of the best women’s matches we will see this year.
Sheasaro def Titus Worldwide to retain their Tag Team Championships
Russ: I completely spaced out when this match came on. Apparently, I missed nothing of worth. I don’t understand how this match flopped so hard! You have several amazing talents in the ring. This should have been at least enjoyable. Instead, it was forgettable approximately 10 seconds after it started. Not a good showing for anyone involved.
Rating: 3.0 I’m being generous here, only because The Bar usually delivers.
Kent: I wanted to care. I tried to care. This was my darkhorse match of the night. Wow, this wasn’t very fun at all. It was average in every sense. Apollo needed more time to shine. I blame the time given more than anything. I just didn’t have fun.
Rating: 3.5 Sorry, but this is one of the worst tag team title matches that we have had in a lot of months.
Asuka def Nia Jax
Russ: I’m noticing a bad trend here. If the match doesn’t have the words Elimination Chamber attached to it then the best you are getting is meh. This wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t good either. I will give credit to WWE they did everything they could to keep both women looking strong. Unfortunately, in doing so they sacrificed some good match chemistry. After the match was well done, but that doesn’t save the whole thing.
Rating: 3.7 I’ve seen worse, but I expect more out of these two, especially Asuka.
Kent: I knew that this match wouldn’t click and I argued this with Russ. So I get redeemed a bit after how bad I did on the previous match. These 2 don’t click well because Nia is hard to work with due to her size. She tries really hard, but as improved as she is, she still lacks a lot of skills in my opinion. Asuka tried, Nia tried, but this match was very forgettable ad the only positive I saw was after the match with Nia’s attack and Alexa being happy.
Rating: 3.3 This may be too high, but I love Asuka and I don’t hate Nia. I’m acknowledging her shortcomings.
Matt Hardy def Bray Wyatt
Russ: Wow… I feel so sad for these two. I was once a person who wanted to see this. Now that WWE has finally delivered it I really wish they wouldn’t have. This was boring and bad. The crowd didn’t help matters. Also, I blame WWE creative for this match falling flat. They did nothing to make this match worth note on RAW.
Rating: 2 So many Meh’s given.
Kent: Yeah, in all fairness, nobody alive thought that this match would steal the show. Matt tried to sing the song, but the fans were meh about it. Jeff does a better job with the song in all honesty. The effort was there, but zero fucks were given. This needed a gimmick in the worst way. Bray need a stable again. Before you try to diminish how good Bray is by needing a stable, I will offer this guy, Ric Fucking Flair always relied on stables and everybody wants to suck his cock. The Bludgeon Bros can go back to Bray once Bray returns to Smackdown. Please have him return.
Rating: 3.4 Mainly for the effort early on.
Ronda Rousey Contract nonsense
Russ: WWE took something away from me during this segment. My hope that Rollins would face Kurt Angle at Mania. I was really hoping that I would get that match. Now that this crap sandwich happened it seems inevitable that Kurt will be Rousey’s Tag Team partner. BOOOOOOOOO!
Rating: 2.9 I’m reverse deucing this shit.
Kent: Now we are getting to the real shit in this shit sandwich. The 2 EC matches were tasty bread, and the Tag Title match was a decent condiment, but this here is the shit. Fucking brutal. Kurt was funny at least, but this was so awkward. Oh, and Steph went unscathed again. I……am…….so…..shocked.
Rating: Well Carl and Gavin died on The Walking Dead tonight, so that makes me very sad.
Roman Reigns became #1 contender to face Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania by defeating Braun Strowman who defeated The Miz, Elias, Cena, Finn, and Seth
Russ: Let’s get this out of the way first. The ending was predictable as fuck. We’ve known that Roman was winning this since it was booked. With that said this was a lot of fun. Even though Braun didn’t win he came out of this match a winner. He eliminated 5 men, he also took more finishers than Kenny Omega in one match and still kept getting up. Rollins and Finn also looked good in this match. Rollins is turning himself into an Ironman and I’m fine with that. Finn was about the only person to get any real offense on Braun during the match in a one-on-one situation. I was worried that WWE might fuck this thing up, but besides the ending this was a lot of fun.
Kent: This match was good, it was really was. Unfortunately, the sword of Damocles tattoo on Brock’s chest swung over the match, and the outcome was inevitable, and that hurt this match. I think Seth, Finn, and Braun all walked out as bigger stars tonight. I think ROman didn’t look very great tonight, Cena looked pathetic at times, Elias and Miz played their parts to perfection. Still, I just didn’t have a lot of fun during this, and I think it is because Roman was gifted the win.The action was solid. At the end, I was simply happy to have it be over with, and I don’t think you should feel that way after a very good match.
Biggest Surprise of the night for you
Russ: How Shitty every match that didn’t have the PPV’s name in it was.
Kent: How good the Women’s EC match was I really expected much worse. Also, that Nia jobbed cleanly.
Which Elimination Chamber match was better booked in your opinion?
Russ: Gotta go with the women. They did everything right.
Kent: The women’s and it wasn’t close. The story was better told.
Best Match of the Night
Russ: I tied the EC matches.
Kent: Women’s EC is the match I will walk away thinking about.
Worst Match of the Night
Russ: Everything else, seriously fuck the rest of this PPV.
Kent: Nia vs Asuka ratings-wise, but Sheasaro vs Titus Worldwide disappointed me the most. I expected one to be awful and one to be good at the very least.
Russ: Even though the majority of the matches were garbage juice the 2 EC matches delivered and since they took up the majority of the PPV’s time I guess that isn’t too bad. Overall Rating: 5
Kent: This night was a shit sandwich. The bread, the 2 EC’s the only things to watch. Just skip the second hour basically. With that being said, we had more good than bad which you consider about an hour and a half of quality wrestling.
Hi, Kent here. Keri and I had to preview this night of 2 matches and a bunch of nonsense. Yay!!! Over on our podcast, Are You Not Kentertained we discussed this and other topics that may or may not be relevant. Please enjoy.
Kickoff Show – Gallows & Anderson vs Miztourage
Keri: This matchup is so random. But then again, if you have been paying attention it looks like Finn and the Miz have been getting into it on Twitter, so maybe it does make sense, you know since Finn is the leader of the Balor club and Miz is the leader of, well, the Miztourage. I don’t know maybe I’m just grasping at straws trying to rationalize this one.
Prediction: Gallows and Anderson win.
Kent: So the Miztourage get a match while The Revival has nothing. Explain to me how that makes a damn bit of sense. Considering how good G&A are against the Revival, it’s even more baffling. Is this even going to be taken seriously by anybody? Bo and Curtis are both so damn good too, but this is a squash.
Prediction: The Good Brothers – Gallows, stop encouraging the Young Bucks to come to WWE. We don’t want them. It’s going to be the Hardy Boy debacle all over again. We want broken universe. You got it, you hate it, suck it. Bang bang!
WWE Tag Team Championship Match – Sheasaro vs Titus Worldwide
Keri: I could have sworn I just saw this match Monday night on RAW. Maybe I was wrong. Anyways…..
Prediction: Titus Worldwide wins and maybe brings new life to a stagnant division.
Kent: This is the right match, but they could have fucking announced it. Jesus tap-dancing Christ, do your fucking job people. The go home show should have the final card. I don’t even remember when this became commonplace, but fuck that noise. My issue here is timing. Are they going to have Titus Worldwide head into Mania as the champs? Will they win the belts at Mania? This is tough. I’m ready for the title change. It’s time to sink or swim. If they sink, The Revival is waiting to dominate.
Prediction – Apollo wins it for Titus Worldwide. I know that I am wrong, but I want this so I predict it. Much love to Sheasaro, the best tag team in the business.
Asuka vs Nia Jax
Keri: This matchup was enjoyable when it was in NXT and Nia has improved significantly since the last time these two faced off so I expect a good match. With that said, they are not breaking Asuka’s streak.
Prediction: Asuka wins and finally declares that she will face Wooooo Jr for the Smackdown title.
Kent: Why? The best case scenario is that Alexa gives Nia a pep talk in the locker room and plant the seed. Then have Alexa interfere and cost Nia the match so we can get that match at Mania while protecting Asuka. Also, just know that this year’s Wrestlemania will feat at least 4 women’s matches. Fuck my life as a wrestling fan.
Prediction – I already told you. Asuka wins because streaks are one of the worse things that you can do in pro wrestling. That is a fucking fact. It stifles creativity and good finishes.
Ronda Rousey’s contract signing
Keri: So this week on As the Bullet Club Turns. We had Cody declare himself leader of the Bullet Club, the Bucks joined the heavyweight division, Cody and Kenny brawled, Hangman Page is feeling unappreciated by everyone and wants to know where his moment is, and Marty Scrull (the Villian), due to all the stress of the situation, now has grey hair. Oh and Kenny called Cody a WWE reject. Can’t wait to see what happens on next week’s exciting episode of how As the Bullet Club Turns.
Prediction: I wonder how Tama, Fale, Tanga, Leo, and the rest of Bullet Club NJPW feel about their new leader. I bet that will be on next week’s episode. Stay tuned everyone. (Kent: slow clapping)
Kent: Hang on, hang on. Okay, I found the lube. Okay, now gently massaging my asshole. OKay, gritting my teeth because WWE is about to fuck me and the rest of us right in the asshole. I can’t vouch for Keri, but I don’t like being on the receiving end of anal. I expect some bullhshit with Stephanie. Yay.
Prediction – I hope to pass my kidney stone during this segment so I can say that was less painful than seeing this segment. Top that Keri!!! (Keri: Challenge Accepted).
Bray Wyatt vs Fatt Hardy
Keri: Why is this still a thing?
Prediction: I don’t care. This has run its course.
Kent: It’s a good thing I didn’t put that lube away yet. Good lord. Can we give Bray someone and something to work with? Please put him back on Smackdown to feud with…..Shinsuke, Tye, Rusev, and Bobby. Yeah, all 4 of those feuds sound great compared to this, right?
Prediction – Bray wins setting up a match at the Woken Compound in North Carolina
First Ever Historic Women’s Elimination Chamber for the belt – Alexa Bliss vs Mickie James vs Sasha Banks vs Bayley vs Mandy Rose vs Sonya Deville
Keri: This match will be good. I really don’t have anything more to say than that really.
Prediction: Alexa retains and is forced back into hiding by Creative until Mania.
Kent: My poor, poor asshole. I think that Paige and Nia were meant to be in this one with Asuka taking on Sonya and Mandy. That’s my best guess. This match may not be terrible. That’s what I thought about the women’s Royal Rumble. I was SO FUCKING WRONG! Alexa makes everything work better, especially when working with Mickie and I think her and Sasha have good chemistry. Bayley is the one to watch for botches. I think she’s going to be the worst performer, and I hope she proves me wrong. I think the standout will be Sonya.
Prediction – It will be my moment of Bliss for #100 because that only seems fair.
Men’s #1 Contendership Elimination Chamber – The Miz vs John Cena vs Seth Rollins vs Finn Balor vs Roman Reigns vs Elias vs Braun Strowman
Keri: Unlike Kent, I’m going to state the inevitable conclusion of how this match will go and I’m not even going to include the words prediction in my response. Roman is winning this match. He is facing Brock at Mania. We all have to deal with it so let’s just start dealing with it now.
Kent: I’m not doing it. I will not predict Roman to win. It is the single worst choice, yes even worse than Cena……yeah worse. I want Braun to win. The crowd wants Braun or Finn to win with a bit that wants to WWE. Really, Seth should have a lot of momentum after Monday’s match, and I think his fatigue should tie into an early elimination and Kurt mocking him on RAW. I think The Miz can be easily dismissed as can Elias, although Elias vs Brock would be fucking money. I think Cena can be easily written off due to his recent storyline. That leave 4 very legit possibilities. Roman and Brun have both had a match with the Beast while Seth had a three-way with Cena also involved, and then there is Finn. The thing is, and we say this on the podcast when a big make or break is present. Right now, this is when they could make the Randy Orton to Roman’s version of John Cena. They could make Braun the fucking man. I’d have him and Roman come to a draw somehow. They can make anything happen. This is the match that should close out the PPV, so I won’t be shocked if it doesn’t thanks to history, blah blah vagina.
Prediction – Braun and Roman come to a draw somehow and make this a great Mania main event.
What’s the hardest match on the card to predict?
Keri: Probably the tag team match
Kent: Tag Team Title match is the answer for me, although the Bray match I am quite divided too. I can at least foresee Bray vs Matt at Mania. The tag division, it seems like destiny that we get a clusterfuck multi-team match at Mania.
Any other matches? If so, predict one.
Keri: I don’t think so.
Kent: Ginger Rhynos vs The Revival. Honestly, I don’t think so. The EC matches are going to be an hour a piece adding entrances.
Best match of the night will be?
Keri: Tag match or pre-show match.
Kent: Dark horse is the tag title match. Tag matches on PPV have been money. Now if you aren’t looking forward to Roman vs Brock, I think this has to be your answer.
Worst match of the night will be (excluding kick off show)?
Keri: Asuka vs Nia
Kent: I don’t think Asuka vs Nia is going to deliver. I hope that I am wrong. I just have a gut feeling about this one.
Welcome to 9 Deuce’s preview of the 2017 Hell In A cell event. Let’s face it, the card looks good on paper, but when that happens, it rarely lives up to it’s potential. Joining me in my circle of negativity are Keri, Cece, and Teddy. We should get at least a match of the year candidate out of this event….we hope.
Keri: I’m indifferent about this match. In fact I will probably be doing my weekly meal prep during it. If I’m not then I’m going to be wondering when Balor vs Styles is going to start.
Prediction: Sasha wins.
Teddy: I like Alicia fox she is a great wrestler and her gimmick is hilarious. Sasha has been falling off for me lately.
Prediction: Clever like a fox picks up a win
Cece: I didn’t even know this was a thing, to be honest. Kind of don’t care. However, Fox has been around a while and she deserves some love.
Prediction: WWE will continue to screw over people who put in work and are never recognized, so, I see Sasha taking the win.
Kent: The thing is, this is actually a solid match up that I enjoy. This actually is a good card, just weak compared to what it could have been. I am positive that Foxy is built up to be the next to eat defeat at the hands of Asuka. Still, give them 12-14 minutes please. Prediction: Crazy like a Fox
Cedric Alexander & Rich Swann vs THE Brian Kendrick & Gentleman Jack
Keri: I’m enjoying heel Gentleman Jack. This match will be good and I’m looking forward to watching it. It will be a good warm up for Balor vs. Styles later.
Prediction: The Brian Kendrick and Gentleman Jack
Teddy: Cedric has been looking amazing lately and is one of the reasons I’ve been paying attention to the cruisierweights. On the other had brian kendrick and Jack have never disappointed me.
Prediction: Cedric carries Rich Swann to the dance party after they win.
Cece: I honestly don’t really care about this match either, considering I don’t really watch much 205 and I missed this week’s RAW. However, I do love the team of Kendrick and Gallagher. Should be fun.
Kent: This could be the best pure match of the night. I have really high hopes, but i also feel this could be an absolute boring, dull affair. I hope that these guys own the night with a spectacular showing given 17-20 minutes.
Asuka vs Emma
Keri: I’m going to quote a wise man’s entrance music and say Emma has no chance no chance in hell.
Prediction: Asuka is going to kill you
Teddy: #giveemmaanL because Asuka is gonna fuck her up
Prediction: No one is ready for Asuka
Cece: Asuka is back, baby! I am excited to see her return, however, it won’t last long. Asuka will kill Emma.
Prediction: Literally, nobody is ready for Asuka!
Kent: Squash match alert. Emma is going to destroy Asuka in 92 seconds.
Women’s Championship Match – Alexa Bliss vs Mickie James
Keri: Ok here what I predict for the next 6 months for the RAW women’s title. I’m hoping that this is what happens. Mickie wins the belt at TLC but the feud with Bliss continues and there is a rematch. Mickie retains in said match and carries the belt into Mania. At Mania she faces Asuka in a career vs championship match, where she loses. Then the following year, Mickie is inducted into the Hall of Fame.
Prediction: Mickie wins
Teddy: Mickie needs love. They’ve got lots of ground to cover in order to make up for the “fat” and “old” angles they threw her up against. Seriously I thought WWE “cared” about women’s wrestling.
Prediction: Mickie gets the win but not the belt.
Cece: Honestly, this is a pointless match. However, I am very much over Bliss. Someone else needs the title. Although, I don’t think it should be Mickie James, per say. Nia Jax should have been next in line.
Prediction: Bliss retains.
Kent: Asuka needs to be kept away from Bliss til Mania. Bliss and Mickie could feud until the end of the year. Mickie should get the win and title here to support her decision to return, give her the rub and let Alexa get her win back in December perhaps. Also, why is this the only picture without the TLC background? Somebody is getting fired.
Prediction: Mickie James wins the belt.
Cruiserweight Championship Match – Kalisto vs Enzo Amore
Keri: I don’t care about this match. I will wondering the entire time when Styles vs Balor is starting.
Prediction: Enzo wins, I guess.
Teddy: I love they gave Kalisto the title but not at the expense of Neville leaving the WWE. On a lighter note who knew getting jobbed to Braun and tossed in a dumpster would lead to a title run….oh and enzo’s there
Prediction: More nut punting but Enzo gets caught this time.
Cece: Another pointless match. Enzo is getting on my 10th nerve. Like, why did WWE punish him by taking him down a peg and then just hand him the title? Stupid. Kalisto will hopefully kick his ass again.
Prediction: Kalisto squashes Enzo.
Kent: I am telling you, Enzo is going to impress you with how much he has grown in the ring. I know, I know. Trust me, he is going to have a match that makes you pay attention. Also, he needs that belt back so he can feud with Mustafa. Prediction: Enzo cheats to win.
Finn Balor vs AJ Styles (Bray is out with viral meningitis)
Keri: It is no secret that I’m a huge New Japan and Bullet Club fan. I mean my favorite wrestler is Kenny Omega, the current leader of the Bullet Club. We have two former leaders of the Bullet Club in the same match. A match that you would not have seen in New Japan since Balor was leaving as AJ was coming into the promotion. I can’t wait for this match. In fact, when I heard it was happening I said I will force myself to stay awake for this match because I must see it. This match I assure you will be a wrestling clinic. Match of the night if not match of the year. This is going to be amazing.
Prediction: Balor will get the win because this is a RAW show. But you know who really wins us the fans. Now someone give me a one sweet.
Teddy: Since Bray is out I am a lot more pumped for this match! It’s a NJPW wetdream.
Prediction: With Bray out I’m going with Balor club on this one
Cece: I honestly don’t know how I feel with this one just yet. It is 2 of the greats in one ring, so, I am excited in that aspect. However, it is a brand crossover, there is where I get iffy. I mean, I don’t quite understand what is going on here. But, WWE has been kind of on my shit list the last month anyway. Hoping this match will amaze and astonish.
Prediction: Balor needs a good, solid, win. He deserves so much better than he’s given.
Kent: This is a huge dilemma for me. This will be a solid match, and the best match that Finn has had in WWE, but make no mistake of it, it doesn’t mean that he’s great in the ring. Only Jinder Mahal can have a bad match with AJ Styles. With that said, I am pissed that I am missing out on the car wreck that was to be, in the Demon vs Abigail match up. This match-up is an absolute downgrade for me. Both guys had recently acknowledged that they felt like they had started clicking together in the ring, which meant something interesting was due. Honestly, I am glad that I am watching Walking Dead because now I won’t feel so bad about missing this one if it’s not on prior to 8. Oh, and one last thing, fuck Japan and their bullshit wrestling. Yup, I’m in the minority, but I don’t enjoy it. I’m sick of the stiff shots and unnecessary risks.
Prediction: Finn will win which will make this match even worse for me. Fuck that.
TLC Match – Kurt Angle, Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose vs The Miz, Sheasaro, Braun Strowman, & Kane (Roman is out with viral meningitis)
Keri: This match for me will have a lot to live up to after Styles vs Balor. But it has Kurt Angle so that is something. This will be a good match.
Prediction: 2/3rds of the Shield and Kurt Angle win
Teddy: OMFG I’m so fucking pumped to see Kurt wrestle again! That being said the whole roman being out changes everything in the match dynamic wise. I feel since Angle is coming back Shield will pick it up
Prediction: Kurt Angle will break the Miz’s ankle
Cece: Another really random change. Although I am happy to see Angle come back to wrestle, I still think this is awfully random. There’s no way they’ll bring Angle back to lose. He’s just that loved. But then again, they’ve been known to bring greats in to eat the pin.
Prediction: still think Shield will take the win.
Kent: Well, I should be pumped for Kurt’s return. I know I should be. The WWE made a HUGE mistake in putting him in. Kurt deserves the huge Angle of having his return mean something. Not something slapped together on a Friday. Kane also deserved better, but that was acceptable because he came out from under the ring. I know people are going to be pumped, but it is short term thinking. They should have just pulled a guy like Randy, or gave us Shinsuke vs Finn and put AJ in with The Shield. That would have made the most sense. No, let’s put in old ass Kurt in a TLC match. We like Japanese wrestling! See the fucking correlation? Nobody is thinking about the safety in these matches. It’s instant gratification at it’s worse and I am not happy about it.
Prediction: Braun pins Kurt and hurts him leading to Jason Jordan wanting revenge.
Which title is more likely to change hands?
Teddy: Cruiserweight since the only other title is the women’s title up for grabs that night.
Cece: Not sure. Don’t care.
Do you expect anybody else to get involved in the TLC match?
Keri: Nope. I’m watching for Styles vs Balor
Teddy: Miztourage will interfere. Or maybe the Goodbrothers
Cece: Probably no one. Unless Roman somehow gets better.
Kent: Authors of Pain because there are no DQ’s in this match. No idea why they can’t just add guys to this match as it goes.
Most anticipated match?
Keri: Styles vs Balor. Bullet Club 4 life. Now goodbye (mwah) and good night (bang).
Teddy: Asuka vs Emma because I miss seeing Asuka 🙁 *update* Kurt Angle coming back makes me so hyped for it! Sorry Asuka boo <3
Cece: Not too sure honestly. Probably Kurt’s return.
Kent: TLC I guess, just to see Kane and Braun with weapons.
Least anticipated match?
Keri: Enzo vs Kalisto
Teddy: Sasha vs Alicia now
Cece: Enzo and Kalisto.
Kent: Finn vs AJ because I already know that this will validate Finn in dumbass mother fucker’s minds. He’s not that good. Just remember, I warned you that this will happen.
Russ and Kent break down No Mercy as only they can. Unfortunately, this is a week late thanks to technical issues on our servers. We apologize. Still, we tried. Not only that, but on this week’s Are You Not Kentertained we do a better job at selling No Mercy than RAW did.
For the month of October, if you see this logo, click on it to go see the updated list of my 100 Horror Movies In October Marathon.
Russ: Elias is getting pretty popular with the crowds lately. He always gets a loud pop when he asks people if they want to walk with him. Overall, this was a good showcase for both guys. This will hopefully lead to a real story on Raw instead of obscurity, which we all know it will. Thought Apollo looked good in losing here. Rating: 4.6
Kent: I liked this match because it was a solid showcase for both guys and I wouldn’t mind a feud with actual storylines. I know, it will be tough with all of that focus on the Finn story, you know, because they clearly tried hard there. Still, I love when Elias does some spot or move where you think to yourself, this guy is a special combination or strength, size, and speed. Can I get Elias vs Luke? That’s a match I would pay extra for.
Rating: 5.5 I really enjoyed it
The Miz def Jason Jordan
Russ: I thought this match was actually watchable. Jordan has proven he can be decent in the ring. Tonight I thought he did another adequate job. I’m glad they didn’t pull the trigger on him winning. The Miz was the real star of the match. I just wish they would do more with him on Raw. Rating: 4.2
Kent: Blah. I am so over this feud. I am over Jason Jordan. I am over The Miz on RAW. Think about all of the the people that came to RAW from the trades. Bray, Miz, Dean, and Bliss. Well Alexa has done OK for herself. Anyway, give the Miz a good feud, like with Bray or Elias. This match existed, and it was technically sound, but bored me.
Rating: 2.5 I couldn’t get invested in it.
Finn Balor def Bray Wyatt
Russ: Ok this match seemed like it was going in a good direction. Bray kept on getting the upper hand after being very underhanded in attacking Finn before the match even started. Afterwards they kept on telling a great story of Finn who just wouldn’t quit even when the odds were against him. This was a perfect opportunity to give Bray a win. Then it goes to shit at the end and they give Balor the win. I have no idea what giving Balor the win accomplishes, especially the way the match started, except to continually bury Bray. I can’t wait to see what stupid ass excuse Bray comes up with as he goes after his next victim. Rating: 3.2
Kent: So they start off with bray injuring Finn. Perfect excuse to give Bray a win and lengthen the feud, perhaps tell a story, you know, anything that would make you give a fuck about this feud. Nope. The match was really well done. I do have a major gripe and it’s towards Bray actually. It is beyond infuriating when Bray catches his opponent for the set up to Sister Abigail, and the opponent just has to lay back in Bray’s arms. It’s so absurd, no matter how early into the match. I wish they would alter that somehow. This match was really good. Lots of good action. The outcome was silly. Bray beat regular Finn before, why is he losing now? Who can Finn feud with now? This story was absolutely stupid, no matter the spin that some may put on it, like Eric. I don’t feel a story was told. I don’t believe anybody sat there prior to the match and thought: “My God, the story that Bray and Finn have told has been something I care about or will remember ever.” No, nobody will remember it positively. Waste of god damn time.
The Fist def The Bar
Russ: Wow, this match was brutal! I have always hated the slingshot because of how fake it looks, but man did Cesaro’s face plant into post look brutal. He also lost a lot of his front teeth there. Got to give him credit though he kept on fighting. This was good match, lots of hard hits and great back and forth. Best match of the night so far and one I’d happily watch again, with exception of that slingshot, I cringed every time they replayed it., Rating: 6.2
Kent: This match delivered, surprise surprise. The tag team matches at PPV’s have been the shining light all summer. So good. I gotta give Cesaro big time props for sticking it out. Like, I probably would have cried a bit. What holds this back is that Sheasaro didn’t win after White Noise and then the powerbomb. That should have finished it. Poor booking, but great match. Still, not enough for a 7.
Rating: 6.4 sadly the wrong team won with Cena booking.
Alexa retained her belt against Emma, Bayley, Sasha, and Nia
Russ: Well, Emma didn’t take the pin. WWE was very adamant that she wouldn’t and boy were they right. Of course overall she was a complete no-factor anyway. This was boring, which is sad because they had several great competitors in the ring. I thought Nia did a good job, but I’m not sure how Alexa got the win in the end. I thought I was paying attention to most of the match, but I can’t remember the ending. Rating: 3.1
Kent: That was a really good match. I thoroughly enjoyed how they kept me Kentertained throughout the match. Kudos for Nia kneeing herself in the face after that powerbomb. I gotta say that Michael Cole is a retard saying that he has never seen the stacked Samoan Drop. Ryback says hello. I know that Cole called his matches. Emma looked good as did Sasha. Bayley didn’t look like she belonged and that worries me a lot. Alexa is gonna be the one to keep the belt until Asuka debuts. Will Asuka immediately get a title shot for doing nothing? Bayley did!
Rating: 5.2 because Emma should have won, and Bayley didn’t really do shit.
Roman kicked out of 4 AA’s and beat Cena…yeah
Russ: This was a tale of two matches and how we are supposed to see this match. The first tale of this match was the decent back and forth between the two guys. I thought for the first 10 minutes they did a really good job of telling a good story. Then Roman got AA’d and everything went downhill. That brings us to the second tale of this story and how cartoony it all felt. After that first AA Cena kept on upping his AA game and Roman kept on kicking out. I’m ok with him kicking out of one AA, but after that every other AA was a super AA or more than 1 AA. Which would have put out any other wrestler. They really made the AA look useless. Overall it wasn’t a bad match, but between these two I expected a lot more and I don’t feel they delivered it. If this was a Mania Main Event caliber match then it bombed because it never once felt like a Mania match. Rating: 5
Kent: Fuck this. 4 AA’s, kick out. This win is more important than beating Taker at Mania. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! No! Why even have finishing moves?
Rating: Go fuck yourself
Enzo kicked Neville in the nuts to win the Cruiserweight belt
Russ: Beetlejuice outfit? Sure why not Enzo. Decent match. Enzo had some good lines in his intro. He can be pretty clever when he wants to. Also, I Thought Enzo did a good job making Neville look good. The crowd was dead for this. Which was sad, because they’ve been pretty good most the night. I don’t understand why everything Enzo does is underhanded and slimy, yet he is the face? He has to cheat every time he is out in the ring or he loses. Now he is Cruiserweight Champ. Should make 205 Live interesting. Too bad I doubt I’ll see how it plays out, unless they show it on Raw. Rating: 4.7
Kent: To sum up my feelings as I just text to Twan. “Jinder Mahal approves of that match’s finish,” Yeah, the match was fine, and it was creative. Kudos to how good that leaping DDT that Enzo does.
Brock Lesnar defeats Braun Strowman
Russ: Wow, way to not shake things up WWE. WWE had a chance to do something right and give a great up and comer in Braun the belt and a chance to shine. Instead they kept with the Status Quo. I guess they made Braun look strong in the first 3 minutes. The next 5 minutes was a bit of a mix between the two where you thought: “Well Braun still has a chance.” Then the last 3 minutes of the match ended all hope for those of us who thought it would be nice to have a change up at the top. Missed opportunity WWE, but that has been the story of the WWE for the past 5 months. Gotta give Roman one more torch cause he loves collecting them. Rating: 4.2
Kent: Oh yay, a 10 minute match. Okay, maybe 11 minutes, but I wrote that before the match happened. It’s sad how easy that was to predict. What a shit show! I enjoyed the match for what it was, but you just killed Braun and his momentum. For what? To give us Brock vs Roman, the rematch that nobody is asking for? Thank your WWE kids. “Thanks Vince!”
Rating: 4.0 and moving along displeased.
Rate No Mercy overall.
Russ: It felt like watching Raw except there weren’t commercials for products other than WWE anyway. There were also a lot less promos. The matches were not out right bad, which I guess is a minor win, but none of them came close to being must watch. The only belt that ended up changing hands was the cruiserweight belt, so there is that. Raw Exclusive PPV’s are just like watching Raw on the USA Network. Very boring and safe. So why the fuck am I paying WWE $10 a month? Oh, right! I’m a fucking idiot! Overall Rating: 4.2
Kent: Loud over exaggerated yawn. I should have just watched horror movies all night. Waste of my mother fucking time.
Overall: 3,8 thanks to the big matches sucking long hard schlongs
Bonus Deuce Deuce
Worst match of the night.
Russ: Take the whole night! Alright: for me it was it was the Woman’s Title Match. I watched the whole damn thing and I can’t remember much about it. The Finn and Bray match was damned close to being just as bad.
Kent: Miz vs Jordan to no surprise. You cannot be shocked. Cena and Roman is a close second for pissing me off.
Best match of the night.
Russ: The Tag team match. It wasn’t great, but it was the best thing offered on this mediocre borefest called No Mercy. Also, I have to give props to Cesaro for finishing that match!
Kent: Tough call, but I think the tag team match but the women were damn close. I liked both a lot. I give the slight edge to the tag teams.
Russ: I feel like I wasted my time with No Mercy. The worst part, I’ll continue to waste my time with the fall out tomorrow on Raw and then of course I’ll have to watch Smackdown. By the time the podcast comes around I’m going to be very sick of wrestling. Oh sure, WWE could shock me and make their TV show’s good, but we all know it is a safe bet that isn’t true.
Kent: Twix makes a fine candy bar. Channel Zero is a great TV show on SyFy Wednesday nights. It’s way better than AHS. Fuck RAW, Fuck Smackdown, Fuck AHS, watch Channel Zero and eat Twix. This was 3 plus hours of my life that I won’t ever get back.
All pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are property of WWE and wwe.com.
Keri and Kent break down the No Mercy as best we can. As of this time, there has been no Kickoff Show match(es) announced, so we just wildly speculate without a care in the world. Not only that, but on this week’s Are You Not Kentertained we do a better job at selling No Mercy than RAW did.
Kent: Elias will sing, and maybe Curt Hawkins will get to extend his streak
Intercontinental Championship match – The Miz vs Jason Jordan
Keri: This is the match that everyone saw coming a mile away. Apparently, the WWE thinks Jordan is ready for a feud. This will be a decent match and there will be Miztourage involvement in the outcome.
Prediction: Miz retains.
Kent: Will I be looking at porn during this match? Probably. Do I give a single, solitary fuck about Jason Jordan’s push? Nope. Do I already miss Maryse? Yup. Do I miss Miz having interesting feuds? Yup. This can be a very good, technical match. Alas, I just am not remotely interested in this match. I don’t see any way that Miz can rebuild at this time, he needs something different, and I think WWE is hellbent on giving us the Jason Jordan experience. SIgh. Prediction: Jason Jordan is the new IC champ
Finn Balor vs Bray Wyatt
Keri: Honestly, I could careless about the match or the people in it. WWE has ruined Finn and that in itself is shameful. With that said, I didn’t know they could ruin Bray after putting the WWE title on him roughly a year ago yet here we are.
Prediction: Bray wins, I guess.
Kent: I fear I will have run out of energy and or porn by this point. God damnit. I am done with this feud. Give me Bray vs Miz and Finn vs Roman moving forward, That would feel so much better than what we are given here. Put Elias in with Jason. As for this match, Finn probably wins, but Bray has a tendency to win matches that are meaningless. There’s no demon, there’s no storyline. At this point, bring Luke and Rowan over and reform the family. Would you honestly be opposed to that? Brock vs Bray would be way better with them involved. Joe vs Bray would also be more fun.
Cruiserweight Championship Match – Neville vs Enzo
Keri: I think Neville’s tone as champ is over. WWE, in order to hopefully save the division, is probably going to put the belt on Enzo. Enzo has more “star” power and that is going to out eyes on a stale product.
Prediction: Enzo wins and we get at least a month have of bad promos.
Kent: I just don’t care. I think Neville’s reign of dominance ends this Sunday. It should have been Akira to have a run, but Enzo provides something that Akira doesn’t, in WWE’s mind, which is mic work, despite Akira having Titus. I will admit, I am kinda intrigued how Enzo’s belt will be personalized. Also, the potential for Enzo to be a champion before Cass is amazing. At Summerslam, had I asked which participant would be most successful by the next PPV, nobody would have said Enzo. Most would have said Cass, some may have said Big Show out of spite. Both guys are injured, so how you doin? Prediction: Enzo wins the 205 Belt
Women’s Championship Match – Alexa vs Nia vs Sasha vs Emma vs Bayley
Keri: I think adding Bayley to this match is pointless but what do I know. She comes back and gets a title shot. Yeah good one Creative. Prediction: Alexa retains and drops the belt to Asuka when she debuts
Kent: So Bayley is magically in despite having not won a match or a feud in how many months? This is fucking absurd. Even better, most people assume that Emma is there to eat the pin and go back to obscurity. Honestly, just last week, I was still very excited for this match. Now, I am daring to be sour. It should still be good, lots of interesting spots with Nia and Bliss I hope. Bayley will be outside the ring a lot I speculate. Emma and Sasha will keep the match flowing in between bigger spots. It should be a well done match. Still, I am less excited than I had been the past month. Prediction: Emma wins the belt
WWE Tag Team Championship Match – Fistius vs Sheasaro
Keri: I don’t care about this match at all. The build they had going up to this match just doesn’t translate well. Why are we getting an all tag team on deck match at this PPV? WWE I would like a thorough explanation.
Prediction: The Bar wins and this feud continues this time with the assistance of Chad2Badd
Kent: Fistius isn’t losing this. They just lost on RAW. Making it a 3 way would have added far more intrigue to this match. I am actually saddened that Gallows and Anderson aren’t in this. Dean and Seth are fine at what they do, I am just not into them as a team despite doing everything right. Their will they or won’t they build to Summerslam simply burned me out. Sheasaro are sooo good right now. I want them as the champs. Prediction: Fistius Retains
John Cena vs Roman Reigns
Keri: I guess I’m looking forward to this match. It should be good and hopefully it lives up to the hype. Honestly, couldn’t this match had waited until Mania?
Prediction: Cena wins. But I’m still rooting for that meteor.
Kent: This match should be very good, no doubt about that. Roman doesn’t put out shitty matches much anymore. Cena puts on a match if he’s into the feud. Something to really pay attention to is how much of a show Cena is putting on. If he goes for a couple of flashy or big moves, it’s more likely that he loses. This is how he works. If he loses, he takes more of a beating during the match and hits his more traditional moves, only off the top rope or something that adds a little extra oomph. Rumors have it that Cena is going to win and then have Roman get his redemption as he builds to Wrestlemania against Brock. Does anybody really want to see this or thinks that this story would add any more legitimacy to him? I hate to say this, but an injury to Roman that takes him out for a year would be best for business so WWE can do the right thing. I’m not wishing injury on him, just saying that WWE would benefit from it because then Braun would get the push that he deserves. Prediction: Cena wins via golden shovel
Red Belt Match – Brock Lesnar vs Braun Strowman
Keri: I want to see this match. It’s the one on the card that I’m positively giddy over. This is going to be a great brawl that I know will probably leave me very disappointed. As much as I want him to win and how much he deserves this win, Braun is not going to win on Sunday. But maybe WWE will surprise me and do the right thing. Therefore rediction: Braun wins!
Kent: This is the match I am most looking forward to. Both guys will put on a show. I do fear the amount of time that this match will get. 10 minutes at most seems likely. Expect Brock to get manhandled at some point, going through tables. Expect some struggles to suplex, but eventually land a bunch. I don’t know if we will see just one finisher or if this is going to be whoever hits their finisher 3 times type of match. I think it’s going to be a 3 F-5 type of night. I really wish WWE would put the belt on Braun. Fuck it, let’s pull a Revival and go hard. Prediction: Braun Strowman wins the belt
In your opinion, is this card better than Summerslam’s?
Keri: I’m going to go with kinda. There are some strong matches and some real duds. It should be at least watchable for the majority of the time.
Kent: It’s a tough one. Summerslam had more high quality matches on paper, but it also had like twice as many matches and took 6 damn hours. Add to that, there’s no Jinder on this card, and it’s 2 hours shorter, I will take this card.
Predict the best and worst match of the night.
Keri: Best: Tag Team
Kent: Best: Tag Team Championship
Worst: Cruiserweight Championship
What match are you most looking forward to and least looking forward to?
Keri: Most: Brock vs Braun
Kent: Most: Brock vs Braun
Least: Cena vs Roman
All pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are property of WWE and wwe.com.
Welcome everybody to the only wrestling blog that believes an angel gets it’s wings when a Hardly Boy gets a stitch. I’m joined a thinner, hairier man, Russ. We were not Kentertained by the vast majority of the night, but a few matches weren’t so bad.
Cruiserweight Champion Neville retained against Akira Tozawa
Russ: I didn’t watch it, I heard it was adequate, which for the names involved that is a shame. They should be having stellar matches.
Rating: N/A I wasn’t starting this horrible PPV starting exactly at 8, there was no way in hell I was going to catch this match.
Kent: Eh, Neville is starting to lose his edge have they haven’t given him much of anything interesting to do to keep his character fresh. Remember how good it was early in the year when he was the king of the Cruiserweights? Now, it’s trending down and that’s on WWE for not giving him fresh opponents to keep working with who he can connect with. Rich Swann and Gallagher should both have had more interesting programs with him. Akira isn’t the right guy to get Neville back to the pinnacle. Akira is money, but Neville needs to get more mic time, and more importantly, an angle. Aries and Neville should have exchanged victories. Anyway, nothing really stood out here, nothing bad either. Not rewatchable in any capacity though. Rating: 4.0 seems fair. If you missed it, you’re fine.
Bray Wyatt defeated the former #1 pick in the draft, Russell’s favorite pretty princess, Seth “the dual edged sword” Rollins in a match that nobody cared about
Russ: The match was ok, but the matched a lack of purpose which brought this way down for me. How could two top wrestlers have so little to fight for! They could have easily given us a story that was compelling enough to tie to the match. Instead we get crap on a stick and Bray wandering a desert. They hit all their moves and there was some decent chemistry, but I was bored by the end and I think the lack of a story really hurt this one for me. Since nothing was on the line it makes sense that Bray won, that’s how WWE rolls.
Kent: What a terrible match to kick off this terrible PPV. Maybe it was apropos. I don’t know. Yeah, I told you that Bray would win because he wins meaningless PPV matches. I don’t remember anything about this match aside from one tidbit. I believe it was Michael Cole who stated that Seth Rollins has had more PPV matches since 2015 than any other superstar. I always am in disbelief over these factoids and then I do my research and get shot down. Still, how is that possible? Dean is never injured and always has a match. Seth was out for awhile with injuries. This cannot be correct, can it? I’m calling bullshit. I feel like The Miz and Dean should be higher than Seth as The Miz is never hurt, but he does make those great Marine films. I need proof, which will require me to do boring research. Rating: 3.0 because it was a solid match, but with zero entertainment factor. I’m being generous due to Bray. Anybody giving it higher than a 3.0 either is a smark or wants Seth to lay him down by the fire and make sweet love to him. Yup, there’s the gauntlet, and it’s been laid.
Big Cass defeated Enzo Amore….to nobody’s surprise
Russ: I enjoyed the promo a little bit, but the match was meh. I guess if it was good for anything it displayed the magnificents of Enzo’s ragdolling skills. It was obvious that Cass was going to win and they never even pretended that Enzo had a chance. They even tried to say that Enzo showed heart because he kept getting back up, but is getting up only 2 times really never giving up? They messed this angle up so badly it was hard to care about the whole thing. I hope they can make Cass work because this wasn’t promising.
Kent: The promo was almost as long as the match. More importantly, aside from the terrible start on the kickoff show, my predictions are rocking. I totally said generic rock music for Cass. Oh, the match? I don’t even remember the finishing move. Gonna look it up. Oh, the running big boot. Really? That’s what we’re going to stick with for a 7 footer? Come the fuck on. Big guys always have knee and leg issues. That shouldn’t be a finisher. The set up for the move is going to get terribly predictable really fucking fast. Rating: 1.7 Really, nobody is going to rewatch or remember this match for it’s quality.
Sheasaro defeated The Bloody Hardly Boys in a 30 minute Iron Man match for the RAW tag team championships 4-3
Russ: Alright, finally a match that delivered. This was executed well. They kept you interested the entire match. I liked that they got a quick pin in to keep people interested in seeing how the Hardly Boys would make a comeback. The first 10 minutes were interesting because the Hardly’s seemed like they were going to get schooled. Then the second 10 minutes was good because of the mounted comeback, finally the last 10 minutes were great action and excitement. The belt being on the line made this feel even more important of a match. I enjoyed this match.
Kent: I knew I should have said this was my dark horse pick for match of the night. I just hate Iron Man matches so much. This one delivered so kudos. Oh, it was a final score of 4 to 3. Damn, I feel like only one person on the podcast predicted that outcome. BALLIN! Yes, yes, I’m great. Kudos aside, let’s anal-yze this match because I have some nits to pick. First of all, Sheasaro can never get one over in singles matches, they seem to have to do dastardly things to win the real tag matches, and then they get the first fall in 20 seconds. The fuck? Then they got a second one. This is inconsistent from the story that they have been telling us since Mania. Yeah, this feud has been going on for far too long. Matt was really busted open, nice to see a Hardly bleed. Sheamus immediately had the rope mark on his back or side. This was a good execution of an iron man match, so kudos to all involved. Rating: 6.2 Because it still bored me at times, but it was good by and large.
Sasha Banks defeated the RAW Women’s champion, and my personal goddess, Alexa Bliss via count out so Alexa retains
Russ: I barely remember this match and I just watched it yesterday! It wasn’t a bad match, but I just couldn’t get invested in it enough. It was quicker than I thought it should have been, but the chemistry between the ladies was good. Sasha won, but Alexa retained, thank goodness! I guess it will be Alexa vs. Sasha at SummerSlam with some stipulation.
Kent: I will say that these girls matched up really well, which surprised me. I was pleasantly surprised. Sasha ain’t winning no title on a PPV, cause that ain’t how she do. These are facts. I really felt that Alexa was going to get intentionally counted out after the 4 second rope break. Less than a minute later it happened. That made no sense for me. Get the count out after that so Alexa could bitch about how the ref didn’t break the hold fast enough. That would add to the story. Instead, they added a couple of moves then did the count out and it was dumb. They had a decent match up to that point. My way makes the future promos work a lot better towards a storyline that is palpable. Rating: 4.8 because I would consider rewatching it and then determine that looking up fake nudes of Alexa and Sasha are better ways to spend my time.
The Miz retained the IC Championship against….YAWWWWWN…….Dean Ambrose
Russ: This match was boring! I don’t even know what to say. I’ve seen these guys fight too many time and this was just the same as any other fight they had. I missed the first 5 minutes because of WWE Network failures, but after seeing what I saw I didn’t care to go back to watch it. What was the point of showing Maryse and The Miz fighting and then not have any payoff for this at all during the match? Whatever, I hope this is done and both guys stay away from each others business for several years. Oh yea and I will steal Kent’s issue with Dean getting “injured” in a match but then 5 seconds later he’s running around like a coke head! His sell is terrible! (Kent: You’re doing God’s work.)
Rating: 2.9 (I’m giving this the reverse Deuce, because it was just awful and both guys are way better than this.)
Kent: I have no praise to offer I thought Enzo and Cass set the bar at the bottom. Nope. I have so many gripes, but I will focus on 3 main ones. 1. They didn’t add anything new to their match formula that we have been seen since January. Yeah, it’s been going on that long. 2. The obvious story would have been to have Bo and Curtis interfere to keep Dean off his game and made Dean truly sympathetic and generate heat. What did WWE do instead? They had Dean consistently assault Bo and Curtis with them only once getting a shot in on him. Terrible booking for a face. 3. The worst thing of all, and I’m sure Russ is going to steal this from me, and I’ll allow it, is Dean is the anti Bret Hart. If Bret got “injured” during a match, he sold it and used moves that made sense. With a hurt leg, what are the 2 big things that you shouldn’t successfully do in a match? Climb the ropes or run the ropes. Even if you climb the ropes, you should fall short of your target and when you land, be in incredible pain. If you run the ropes, you should stumble and fall to sell it. I’ve long been a big advocate for Dean, defending him against the heinous and evil Steve every Monday after a PPV that he is in. I can’t do that this week. Whatever insults Steve offers, I will have to choke it down and accept it. Also, why is Maryse no longer bitchy towards Miz? Rating: 1.5 This match can eat a big fat D. At least Enzo and Cass kept it short and painful.
Braun Strowman defeated Roman Reigns in an Amberlance Match
Russ: Wow, just wow. So much the WWE did right with this. Yes I’m counting what happened after the match as part of the whole spectacle. The match itself was good it wasn’t earth shattering, but it had its moments. Loved the part where Braun was unphased by the chair shots. Roman took bumps like a champ and he took a lot during this match. I liked when he was thrown off the stage into the ambulance and then a few moments later thrown back onto the stage! Braun going into the TV’s in the back then crawling out was a good moment. However, I like how they ended it. Braun not only showed he is ungodly strong, but he is also clever. Goading Roman into the spear right in front of the ambulance was a good touch. If that were all I’d give this a 5.3 and call it a decent match, but boy did WWE really go all out for this. I’m not going to sit here and describe the whole thing I implore you to watch it! I’ll just say this; I didn’t think that Roman could up the ante in this feud any more than Braun did when he tipped the Ambulance over, boy was I wrong. This was well done, with the minor exception of the match of the night in Curt Hawkins vs. Heath Slater. I really feel cheated for missing parts of that match! This Kentertained me greatly! I felt there was a missed opportunity at the end of this when Braun walked away from the wreck and didn’t scream “Roman, I’m not finished with you yet!” That would have been a perfect ending.
Rating: 6.9, I’d watch the ending again for sure!
Kent: Lots to talk about here. Hopefully Russ hasn’t completely talked about every single one of my points making my comments redundant. The match was OK. No Ambulance match has ever been good, and that’s to be expected. Sorta like a mixed tag team match is never good. Both guys did an admirable job. I enjoyed the match at times. Something really bothered me though about the match and I don’t know why I hadn’t really honed in on this before. I like Roman Reigns. I don’t care how uncool that makes me in the eyes of the loser IWC community. I LOVE how good Roman is at taking a beating, especially against a bigger guy, but even against Finn, Roman sells very well, and he isn’t afraid to jump bigger to make the move look as big as possible. Unfortunately, Roman’s offense against big guys sucks. How is it that Big Show and Braun can have a great technical match, but Roman can’t? Well the reason is because 70% of Roman’s offense revolves around punches, superman punches, and set ups for spears and drive by’s. I get it, shitty booking and direction from higher ups don’t help Roman. Look at how shitty they booked Austin once he got popular. He no longer had great technical matches that he was capable of. It was punches, kicks, stomps, Thesz Press, and Stunner. Look at how Cena was booked for year with his 5 moves of doom, but we have seen what he is capable of when going against an AJ or HBK or Punk pr Daniel. They need Roman to add to his offensive repertoire soon because he is such a boring cliche on offense, and he’s better than that. Anyway, Braun won cleanly. Also, during the match, somebody on commentary said that this match was the most impressive thing that Roman has done in his young career. Yup, and this is why I was so vehemently opposed to Taker jobbing to Roman at Mania. It’s a fucking insult to Taker.
Now, the decision comes as to whether the aftermath counts towards this match rating or the next match. I am counting it towards this match. If you disagree, just know that your opinion is wrong. First off, why didn’t the driver drive away after Braun tapped the back? Are we supposed to overlook this lack of logic? Anyway, Roman comes out and puts Braun in and the Roman tosses the driver out and then drives around and then rams the back end of the ambulance into a trailer.I was fine with that. Here’s where I got annoyed. The commentators acting like Roman was a complete dick to do this. It was so heinous. Are we supposed to forget that Braun threw Roman off a ledge on a stretcher or that he flipped the fucking ambulance? This seems fair to me. Sorry IWC, I am defending Roman again. I love Braun, but it’s not like Roman was a dick for what he did. Then comes Kurt’s great reaction and then Jaime Noble stole the show for a bit. Then to see how bloody Braun was, it was great. The last issue I have is that Braun didn’t scream “Roman, I’m not finished with you!” Rating: 6.7 as I could easily rewatch this whole segment again with no complaints.
Heath Slater defeated Curt Hawkins……somehow
Russ: This was match of the night! We saw about 5 seconds of it and the crowd did not even care! They were too focused on what was going on in the back. I’m not sure why this occurred the way it did. I’ll give WWE benefit of the doubt because I’m sure it was hard to coordinate this stunt in live time. And I’ll never forget how Heath won with…
Rating: 7, It was short and put together about as good as the rest of this ppv.
Kent: I am sure this was planned, but how it was done, I don’t know. Did WWE just send them out to buy time to set up everything else in the garage? Did they mismanage time? They clearly had no intentions of showing much of the match. We don’t even know how the match finished. Still, the 2 minutes of the match that I saw was better than the Miz vs Dean match. Yeah, they actually wrestled and applied moves. Also, Heath won and then watched the Titantron with the fans, so that’s cool. Rating: 2.1 because it was short and sweet and fairly action packed for what it was.
Brock Lesnar no sold Samoa Joe’s offense and retained his Red Belt
Russ: Ok, I never thought Joe had a chance to beat Brock let’s get that out of the way. So this was all about how they presented Joe in the match. The lead up to the match was well done and gave a glimmer of hope that this could be done well. They didn’t succeed, but they didn’t exactly fail. I thought the beginning of the match was well done, but it went downhill from there. Brock did sell a little, but selling only works if it has an effect. How did he get up the strength to get into the F-5 like that? That really no-sells the Coquina Clutch and it kind of sucks for Joe. This could have been better if it had more time, but it was alright for what it was until the very end.
Kent: I don’t want to talk about this. Joe was perfection. This match should have gone another 5 minutes. More importantly, I am sick of Brock’s matches. Brock knows moves, but he only does suplexes and F-5’s. Brock went down to the Coquina Clutch with ease on RAW 2 weeks ago. Now, not an issue to escape and suddenly have bursts of energy. Not only that, but as we all know, matches where a person suddenly hits a finisher without hurting their opponent and then gets a win, I fucking hate that formula. John Cena probably saw that and was screaming at his TV: “That was bullshit! Brock needs to hit some set up moves or hit his finisher multiple times. This looks fake!” Those are Cena’s exact words….that I created in my mind. Brock needed the hit 3 F-5’s in a row to make Samoa Joe seem more bad ass. Well, good bye Joe’s push and dignity. Can’t wait to see him put over Roman over the fall. BOOOOOO! On the plus side, I don’t have to be positive on Wednesday’s podcast. On the down side, I hate how I feel about this match ending. Rating: 4.1 Not enough time, bullshit ending, too many Germans, not enough other moves. Joe put on a great match, but Brock undid all of Joe’s greatness. Brock is starting to be the worst part of his matches. He needs to go or let the man wrestle 15-20 minute matches if he wants to be a top guy. This shit is not fun to watch.
Bonus Double Deuce
Rate the PPV overall
Russ: I am going to give this PPV a 4.3 it had several moments that were enjoyable, but a lot and I mean a lot of moments that were bad or just plain boring.
Kent: Well the average came out to be 3.78 out of all of my ratings. In the interest of fairness, rounding things up, I will say a 3.8. A good PPV should get a high 4 to mid 5 rating. A great PPV is anything about a 5.7 because there are always going to be lousy matches that affect the average. This was mediocre to poor.
What are your thoughts on what transpired between Dana and Emma on the pre-show, and don’t tell you didn’t watch it, go and watch it. It will take you 2 minutes. It’s at the 21:56 mark of the kickoff show.
Russ: I thought it was interesting, the question is will we see it pay off on RAW? Or will it be like everything else with Emma the answer won’t be revealed for another 8 months. I guess we shall see on Monday. (Kent: We both know the answer to this before it happens.)
Kent: I don’t know. I didn’t watch it. FIne, I’ll go watch it now. I really think stuff like this is what a lot of the lower tier talents need to help establish their character. I liked how Emma was kinda bossy about it, but it was nice for them to acknowledge their history together. Dana shutting Pete down was funny. Otunga asked a good question. Overall, that was better than at least 2 of the matches on the card. Sad but true.
Name the worst match of the night
Russ: Miz and Dean, I don’t give out the reverse deuce to just any old match and this one was disappointing on several levels.
Kent: Miz vs Dean just beat out Enzo vs Cass and Heath vs Curt. I wish to point out that a 2 minute match between Heath Slater and Curt Hawkins was only the 3rd worst match of the night. Thank about that.
Name the best match of the night
Russ: Sheasaro Vs. Hardlys. Braun and Roman was great, but the tag match was a better match overall.
Kent: Sheasaro vs the Hardly Boys. Yes, Braun vs Roman got a higher rating, but a large part of that had to do with the after match stuff which made up close to 3 of the points. The match itself was mediocre. The tag team match killed it in quality.I would go so far as to say the women had the second best bell to bell match.
All pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are property of WWE and wwe.com.
Keri: I just don’t get why they broke up this team. They never held the titles and they were over with the fans. Their gimmick was good yet Creative let it get stale. This feud is just sad in more ways that one. Neither guy by themselves has star potential and honestly they are kinda reliant on the other in order to be successful. They should have kept them together and turned them heel. With that said, my expectations for this match are very low and I feel this should be the pre show match. Winner: Cass is going to win and we should not be surprised. (Kent: This reminds me of when they broke up the New Age Outlaws back in the day. This team is so reminiscent of them because they really need each other to be at their fullest potential. Oh you didn’t know?)
Kent: In theory, this match should be about 3-5 minutes. It may be just that after Enzo cuts his long winded promo. I’m actually more curious about what Cass gets for new entrance music. Yeah Keri, bet you didn’t think about that. I’m going with some terrible generic rock BS. Anyway, not interested in this match. Prediction: Big Cass wins after Enzo mounts some offense at the very end.
(Kickoff Show Now) Cruiserweight Championship Match – Neville vs Akira Tozawa
Keri: So, per my own advice from this week’s blog, I’m buying stock in Titus Worldwide and honestly I want a return on my investment.So, prediction: Tozawa.
Kent: I wish they had held off on this match until Summerslam. Neville has been bland lately, not getting anything to work with. 205 should have focused on who becomes the new #1 contender and had like a 4 way elimination match on this PPV and put Neville on commentary. That would save this match for a big event. Tozawa is fine, but wasn’t really connecting with me. Then along came Titus. I am extremely pro Titus, and I think that we’re getting one title change, so it’s this one. Prediction: Akira Tozawa wins the belt
Intercontinental Championship Match – The Miz vs Dean Ambrose
Keri: Speaking of things that are stale. Here is another feud that is getting very very stale. This needs to be the last installment of Miz vs. Ambrose for a very long time. Prediction: Miz retains and moves on.
Kent: Did anybody notice that they subtly dropped the Maryse and Miz tift that they had been teasing? No? Oh, that’s because it was terrible. Hopefully that’s done with. Hopefully this feud is done with. Hopefully Heath gets the belt at Summerslam. Seriously, read our blogs from last fall and we were calling for it back then. Prediction: Miz wins thanks to Miztourage and Dean looks like a goof and maybe gets a month or two off
RAW Tag Team Title 30 Minute Iron Man Match – Sheasaro vs The Hardly Boys
Keri: Wow another stale feud. Seriously WWE enough with these stale feuds. This match will be adequate but I’m not really invested in it. Prediction: Sheasaro retain and then they go hard.
Kent: I hate saying that I don’t care, but I don’t care. These 2 teams have been up each other’s ass since Mania. I’m so done with this. Worst yet, supposedly the sports books have the Hardy Boys winning. I’d rather just see The Bar vs The Revival and say the hell with the Hardy Boys so they can move on to Gallows and Anderson and try to revive their careers. Prediction: Sheasaro shouldn’t win according to every singles match. I suspect some DQ’s thrown in for some fun. On the podcast I said it would be 4-3 in favor of The Bar.
Seth Rollins vs Bray Wyatt
Keri: Ok, not a stale feud but something that has been so poorly built up that I really don’t care about it. This storyline, if you can call it that, should interest no one. Bray and Finn. That could have been interesting. Oh well. I guess you just got to go with what you have sometimes. Sigh. Prediction: Seth wins because Bray is back in the role of being jobber to the stars
Kent: Yawwwwwwwn. Bray Wyatt wandered through the desert on a horse with no name. Yup, that reference was better than this whole feud. These guys are so talented. I said that Seth would win on the podcast, but I have rethought this one. This match offers no reward. No guy gets over. Isn’t this the epitome of the type of PPV match that Bray has been winning for years? Prediction: Bray wins and people will have fallen asleep.
RAW Women’s Championship Match – Alexa Bliss vs Sasha Banks
Keri: I’ve been against this match since Sasha was announced as number one contender. It makes no sense that she is back in the title picture. There are plenty of other women that deserves this opportunity. With that said, prediction: Alexa retains and hopefully moves on
Kent: God damnit WWE. How dare you make Alexa Bliss boring as fuck! The past 2-3 months has seen more boring segments with her than great ones. Shame on you RAW for being such shit! You have ruined Bayley, Emma, Sasha, and if you keep it up, I fear for Alexa. Shame! Prediction: Alexa because Sasha doesn’t win belts on PPV.
Amberlance Match – Braun Strowman vs Roman Reigns
Keri: Braun should win this but he won’t. No one is going to let him continue his assault on Reigns. No not Cena 2.0 (sorry Kent and Russ I kept up that act as long as I could). Cena 2.0 cannot lose. He has to be made strong so he can face Brock at Mania and win the title back. Prediction: Reigns wins because of course he does. (Kent: I’m disappointed on so many levels, especially the A Double level.)
Kent: The internet has some conflicting reports which tells me that WWE isn’t 100% sure what they plan on doing. Samoa Joe getting over so huge as well as Braun is fucking with their plans. I like the idea of Brock vs Braun at Summerslam. I hate the idea of Roman vs Brock main eventing Mania. Fuck Roman and his push. It’s fucking terrible. Faces almost always win ambulance matches unless there is outside interference. Who would interfere on behalf of Braun or to fuck over Roman? I’ve got nobody, so that tells me who is winning. Prediction: Roman Reigns because when it Reigns, it Bores and this PPV is looking awful.
Red Belt Match – Brock Lesnar vs Samoa Joe
Keri: The only match on the card I’m looking forward to and I won’t be able see it because the other matches are going to make me fall asleep. The build for this match has been the best thing going in the WWE right now. The only problem is I know it’s going to end very badly for Joe. Prediction: Brock retains and I start watching the indies full time.
Kent: Hey, a match that I want to see. Holy balls! I mean, Great Balls….nope, I’m not doing it. I want Samoa Joe to win. I need Samoa Joe to win. I know that he’s not going to. I haven’t been so invested in a wrestler who is in the most obvious losing circumstance in a very long time. I hate it. Joe deserves this win. Joe deserves the Brock rub. I hope that WWE has a clusterfuck finish to keep Joe strong because Joe going over Brock for the belt is the money match. Putting Roman over does no good. Joe vs Roman at Mania in a Samoan Bad Ass match is money. I am begging. I will go so far as to say that if they put the belt on Joe this Sunday, come Wednesdays podcast, I will not complain once. I swear this. Prediction: Brock buries Joe in 12 minutes.
Will Finn Balor and Elias Sampson show up on the show or kick off show?
Keri: You would think but it seems that the company doesn’t know what to do with either guy at the moment. And that makes me sad. So with that said, there will be a backstage segment maybe two but nothing more substantial than that.
Kent: Alright, it appears that the Cruiserweight mat is now on the Kickoff Show, per wwe.com, so doubts are deep here. Does anybody remember when Finn Balor was like the #5 choice in WWE’s brand split? No? OK, just checking. Wait, Seth was #1 and he fucking sucks now, and has since that fateful night. So that leaves a possibility that one of WWE’s top 5 biggest names may or may not get another kickoff show segment this year. I don’t get it. Do they want to push Finn or not? I am happy that he’s not getting the rocket strapped to him, but there has to be a happy medium. Him feuding with a new guy in Elias does nobody any good. I don’t think that there will be a match, but maybe a confrontation after Elias sings a song.
Aside from Seth vs Bray, which match are you least looking forward to?
Keri: Is it ok if I say all of them except for Joe vs. Brock and Roman vs. Braun? Because that’s my feelings about this PPV. All of the matches are just awful except those two.
Kent: I don’t have enough time to go down the list. I will say that the Hardlys vs Sheasaro because it’s a guaranteed 30 minute match between 2 teams that need a break from each other. The Revival better come out and go hard damnit!
Aside from Brock vs Joe, which match are you most looking forward to?
Keri: Braun vs. Roman. Honestly, I may just watch those two the next day and hopefully I will be happy with the results.
Kent: Gosh, no Goldust, Truth, Titus and Apollo, hmmm. I am going with Big Cass vs Enzo because I am curious about his new song. Yeah, we have hit the desperation button.
All pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are property of WWE and wwe.com.
Today, I’d like to take a look back at the best of what the Royal Rumble has to offer us. I have broken it down 9 Deuce style. I am joined by my after PPV podcast partner, Steve, for this particular venture. Keri and Russ basically flipped me off. So here you go, this is what we consider the best of the Rumble. Both of us have seen every single year, so you know that you are getting legit perspectives.
Best save from elimination, meaning the coolest way(s) people have saved themselves from being eliminated. I don’t know if this should be the Shawn Michaels award or the Kofi Kingston award.
Steve: John Morrison in 2011, when he got knocked into the guardrail and hung on.
Kent: Morrison is my pick as well, but props to Kofi for walking on his hands in 2012 I think it was.
Best quick elimination from the match. Old school fans may recall one of the Bushwackers getting eliminated in record time, and then Santino set the standard. We aren’t caring about who was quickest, but rather which one was the best. The Elimination should occur before the next participant comes out.
Steve: I’m going to go with the Bushwackers, something about how he was just completely unfazed about being tossed out right away and kept doing his walk right to the back.
Kent: Jerry Lawler back in 97 when he wa son commentary, enters the ring, goes out in seconds and returns to the announce desk like he never even entered. There are a ton of good ones to choose. Warlord, Titus, Santino, Bushwackers, JBL, etc.
Favorite elimination from the Rumble. This one is self explanatory.
Steve: Maven eliminating the Undertaker is my favorite, just because it was so unexpected. Also Macho Man getting himself eliminated is a good one.
Kent: Sid eliminating Hogan in 1992 was awesome, Muhammad Hassan’s elimination in 2005 was great, but I will go with Benoit eliminating Big Show in 2004 because it was a neat way at the time and I just wasn’t sure if WWE ever truly had faith in Benoit.
Best rookie hazing during the match. There are obvious times when the veterans have some fun with the young guys with various chops and other old school moves. Give me your favorite example.
Kent: Well Steve alluded to Maven eliminating Taker, and after that, he got his ass handed to him. Still, Daniel Puder in 2005 was absolutely brutal with Eddie, Benoit, and Hardcore Holly.
Best Hoss showdown in the rumble. In the Rumble, it’s inevitable for 2 big boys to square off and all of the focus on them. What one was the best or your favorite?
Kent: Giant Gonzales vs Taker in 1993 for all of the wrong reasons. It’s still hilariously bad.
Best Eliminator, or the Kane award, goes to your favorite wrestler who has his fair share of eliminations. Something about the way that he does it, just pleases you.
Kent: I really enjoyed Punk in 2010 holding his ground for a long time and owning that ring.
Best Survivor is for those guys that always seem to last long and entertain you doing so. Maybe they have won the whole thing, maybe they have come up short. This isn’t for just one year, it’s a sign of overall appreciation through the years, or maybe you just love what Ric Flair did in in 1992. Woooooooo!
Kent: Jericho is probably my pick with a nod to Rey, Cody, and Backlund in 93.
Worst Rumble of all time. Yeah, this one is self explanatory. Do you focus on the in ring work, the lack of stars, the terrible eliminations, the bad storyline leading in, the outcome of the match, or maybe everything was just too obvious from the get go. Don’t let your hatred of Bluetista sway your pick. Seriously…..don’t. .
Kent: 1993, look at the participants. They get rid of Flair, Perfect, and Dibiase so early and have nothing left. Absolute trash.
Best Rumble of all time. Take everything I just said above in #8 and pretend it’s opposite day. You probably still aren’t picking 2014, but you can. Tell us why you chose this one.
Steve: 1992 should be everyone’s best. It was for the title, Flair came in at 3 and won it, Heenan and Monsoon were great the entire night on commentary. The after Rumble interview with Mean Gene telling someone off camera to put the cigarette out.
Kent: I’ll go 2008, despite that being Cena’s year. That Rumble had everything that you want in a rumble. It had great stars, some returns and legends, and Cena coming back was actually incredible at the time, and still is today. 1992 finished second for me.
Best surprise entrant in the Rumble. Please, don’t get this confused with a returning wrestler, say somebody from injury. No, this should be a big surprise that the average fan wouldn’t have known about. Let’s call this the AJ Styles award to ruin anybody’s thunder if they try to pick him and make their pick seem obvious and stupid. A female entrant would fall under this category if you wanted to be historic.
Steve: Does Diesel in 2011 count? I believe it got Matt Striker fired so he has that going for him.
Kent: Jericho in 2013 and to hold his own for so long was incredible to me. I loved it. Also, AJ Styles has to be mentioned.
Best returning entrant in the Rumble. This should be a superstar that has been with the company and probably has just been injured. They didn’t defect from ECW or WCW, they were already with the WWF/WWE. Think of it as the HHH while listening to Creed’s “My Sacrifice”.
Steve: John Cena in 2008. Although it’s cool to hate him, and say everything he does is terrible, he came back from shoulder surgery way sooner than anyone should…which makes me think he has mutant healing powers, or took HGH. It also had the crowd cheering him when his music hit, which for John Cena to have 100% of the crowd cheering is amazing.
Kent: Cena for all of the reasons that Steve suggested. I don’t care if he was on something like HGH, he was possibly missing Wrestlemania, and yet he returns for the Rumble. Unreal! Way better than HHH’s return, which was crammed down our gullet like a Women’s Revolution.
Finally, I would like to give you some interesting facts that I dug up on Wikipedia that I feel may interest you in the Rumble. These are numbers and statistics that don’t get much love from commentary on WWE.
Longest Cumulative Time Spent in the Royal Rumble
HHH @ 3:59:37 Chris Jericho @ 3:55:59 HBK @ 3:42:30 Kane @ 3:38:46 Rey Mysterio @ 3:20:01 Cody Rhodes @ 3:08:30
Honestly, I’m surprised by Cody. He’s only been in 7 or 8 of them while Shawn has been in 12, and HHH with 9. Rey has been in at #1, 2, 4, and 8 in the past, and he always did well, except 2014.
Most Royal Rumble Appearances
Kane with 19 HBK with 12 Goldust and Big Show with 11 Taker and Rikishi with 10 Viscera, Mark Henry, Miz, HHH, Jericho, and R Truth with 9
Basically, Kane should have this record for many years to come. If he participates this Sunday, that will be 20 out of 30 Rumbles, or two thirds of all Rumbles. Shawn’s #’s would be higher if he wasn’t out for 4 and a half years, obviously. Taker and Mark Henry should be higher but injuries to big men is a hell of a thing. Big Show has been involved in lots of singles matches or he would be higher. Miz has a shot at Kane’s record in my opinion.
Most Cumulative Eliminations in the Rumble
Kane with 44 HBK with 39 Stone Cold with 36 Taker with 35 HHH with 33 Big Show with 31 Hulk Hogan with 27 Roman with 23 Cena with 22
I absolutely loathe this Roman Reigns bullshit. He should have to prove himself before being handed all of these things. Kane had to be Isaac Yankem and Fake Diesel before given his push. Roman, well he’s Dwayne’s cousin with really moist hair. I’m surprised that HHH doesn’t have more, and Big Show’s numbers are a travesty. Big Show actually has a higher elimination average per Rumble than Kane. Of course Roman is almost averaging 8 a year. Yeah, would you look at that.Austina averaged 6, Hogan with 6.75, but Roman has 7.67 average. Stupid WWE!!!
With that being said, don’t expect any records broke this year, but lots of fun….hopefully. Enjoy!
Welcome to the 9 Deuce exclusive, The Royal Rumble Retrospective. This has long been the most beloved match of the year for a huge portion of wrestling fans. Every year, I tend to watch a few of these and have a great time. This year, I wanted to go back and revisit each and every Rumble from the beginning and find out what each Rumble brought to the table and try to determine my personal favorite. I’m not going to say the best, as your criteria is probably very different, and incorrect, from mine. This has been an arduous task, but I hope you enjoy this project which will have taken about 35-40 hours when all is said and done. I will provide links to all of these in each edition for easier navigating. A new part will be added daily until completion. I have also linked each Rumble to it’s Wikipedia page so you can see all the info that I didn’t provide.
2008 – Here we are at MSG in NYC. They even got Michael Buffer to announce the rules. This night had some solid matches like Flair vs MVP, Edge vs Rey, JBL vs Y2J, and RKO vs Jeff Hardy. This one is definitely memorable as it set the standard for various things. There is a guy by the entrance that is really pumped and may or may not have developmental issues. Well, they start right off with Taker at #1 and HBK #2, the final 2 from the previous year. Man, that’s crazy. Aside from Taker and HBK, you got Khali, John Morrison and Batista in the first 10. That’s more star power than 93, 94, and 95. The second third was absolutely stacked with CM Punk, Cody, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz, Shelton, Jimmy Snuka, Roddy Piper, and Kane. WOW! The NYC crowd is doing things right. They aren’t trying to takeover the show, just amplify it. HHH and Foley brawling was great. Lots of great matchups here. The final 10 include: Carlito, Mick Foley, Mr Kennedy, Viscera, Mark Henry, Finlay, HHH, and finally Cena. Cena wasn’t supposed to be back for like 3 more months after injury. The crowd went apeshit. HHH’s face was the best. The final 3 showdown with batista, HHH, and Cena was great, with each guy mocking the others. As much as I have hated Cena’s run, by and large, he obviously needed a Rumble win, and he came back in such a way, I am struggling to be too pissed off. This gets an 8.5, one of the all time best rumbles due to pacing and star power, hoss match up, returning superstars, legends, everything you could ask for.
Best Save – Mr Kennedy somehow just hanging in there after Cody’s headscissors Finlay coming out hit Mark Henry and Big Daddy V with a shillelagh.
Best Quick Elimination Santino at #3 gets got by Taker and HBK
Favorite Elimination – Taker eliminates Snitsky, HBK eliminates Taker, Mr Kennedy eliminates HBK, Taker puts Snitsky through a table. That whole sequence. Also, Hornswoggle on Miz was ridiculous. Kane punting Morrison was also good.
Best Rookie Hazing – Punk by Taker with a bad ass clothesline after Punk knee’d HBK in the face
Best Hoss Showdown – Snuka vs Piper everybody in the ring just stopped and gave them the ring. Cena vs HHH was also huge, plus we had Khali, Taker, Kane, Viscera, Mark Henry, Snitsky, Umaga, and Batista. This is Hoss paradise.
Best Eliminator -HHH with 6
Best Survivor -Batista @ 37:40, HBK @ 32:39, Taker @ 32:33, Morrison @ 29:33, Hornswoggle, Cody, & Umaga all over 20
Best Surprise Entrant – Jimmy Superfly Snuka, Rowdy Roddy Piper
Best Returning Superstar – John Cena
2009 – The main storyline here is that Randy Orton is pissed at Steph and then punted Vince in the head. Good shit. This one stayed loaded throughout. No huge ring clearings. Tons of talent, with a great mix of old, current, and new stars. It did get a tad congested at times. All in all, it was still very good and kept you captivated throughout, in my opinion. The old guys put on a show.while Punk, Knox, and Johnny Abs got a chance to shine along with Cody and Ted. Lack of big spots hurt, to a degree. Still, this is one of the better ones. 7.7 seems fair.
Best Save – Rey landing on Miz and stepping on Morrison, hanging upside down on corner post
Best Quick Elimination – HHH eliminates THE Brian Kendrick, Kane eliminates Dolph even faster, and then the Santino elimination
Favorite Elimination – HHH eliminates Miz and Morrison
Best Rookie Hazing – Mike Knox
Best Hoss Showdown – Khali vs Kozlov, HHH vs Kozlov, Big Show vs Taker
Best Eliminator – Big Show & HHH with 6 apiece
Best Survivor – HHH @ 49:58, Rey @ 49:24, Randy @ 48:27, Ted @ 45:11, Jericho @ 37:17, Cody @ 37:01, Mike Knox @ 32:42, Taker @ 32:29…wow
Best Surprise Entrant – RVD, Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Best Returning Superstar
2010 – The undercard had it’s ups and downs. We had Sheamus vs Randy, which is one of those feuds that happened far too often. We had the conclusion of the awful Piggie James feud between Mickie and Laycool. The real gem here is Taker vs Rey Mysterio. Now it’s Rumble time, and we start off with Dolph vs Evan Bourne. Well, nobody gives a damn here. Considering where these guys were in their career at the time, is this the worst first 2 of all time? I think it has to be considered. Thankfully Punk comes out to help this riff raff. Serena has a great rack, that needs to be said. This is when Punk was the leader of the Straight Edge Society, a great gimmick. “Great Khali, I can make you greater.” – CM Punk. Punk owns the first 7, but then HHH’s music and I would say that maybe the Rumble finally begins. Punk vs HHH is quite interesting knowing what we know now. The first 10 was not very good aside from HHH and Punk. Dolph, Zack Ryder, Drew MacIntyre, and Ted Dibiase were the other “name” guys. So far, so unimpressive. I gotta say, this is a time when Kofi, Carlito, Morrison, Miz, MVP, Drew, Shelton, Cody, Dibiase and a few others were stuck in midcard purgatory and should be main eventers now. WWE dropped the ball big time in failing to elevate those guys.Morrison should have been a world champ as should Cody, Drew, and Carlito in my opinion. Not 15 runs of Cena. DX clears out the ring and then Cena comes out at #19.
So the second set of 10 included: Morrison, Kane, Cody, MVP, Carlito, Miz, HBK, Cena, and Shelton.That;s a significant improvement. I gotta say, the most impressive performance aside from HBK and Punk was Kofi. Really innovative stuff. Final four are Cena, HBK, Edge, and Batista. Great picks here. Batista is getting some heat for eliminating HBK who wanted that one last match with Taker, and Shawn is selling it, and is pissed. Batista goes out next and Cena is out about 30 seconds later. Edge truly deserved one Rumble win during his career. It was a tad anti-climatic in all fairness. The last 10 guys included: Mark Henry, Big Show, Kofi, Swagger, R Truth, Batista, Jericho, and Edge. It was a solid roster, no doubt about it. The thing this one missed was more of a flow, longer survivors. I loved the Shawn story, but other than that, there wasn’t much going on. This was light on hoss matchups and survivors. This is fun, but I gotta be real. This gets a 6.7 as it was more pretty but without the substance.
Best Save – Edge and HBK going over simultaneously
Best Quick Elimination – Matt Hardy’s dumbass getting eliminated in 20 seconds
Favorite Elimination – HBK kicking HHH out. R Truth gets Big Show and Mark Henry out simultaneously. WTF?
Best Rookie Hazing
Best Hoss Showdown Big Show vs Mark Henry
Best Eliminator – Shawn with 6
Best Survivor – Cena @ 22:11
Best Surprise Entrant
Best Returning Superstar – Edge
2011 – Ugh, the 40 man Rumble. The most obnoxious Rumble obviously takes place in the most obnoxious place on Earth, Boston. I want out already. On the plus side, they are using Paralyzer as the theme song and I love that song. The undercard features Edge vs Dolph, Miz vs Randy, and Eve Torres beating 3 legitimate women’s wrestlers. So bad. Oh no, the anonymous RAW GM thing. No, just no. This Rumble is almost 80 minutes long. They put CM Punk in at #1 and he is now the leader of the new Nexus. Out comes Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, Justin Gabriel,Michael McGillicutty (Curtis Axel) and Heath Slater. That in turn causes Otunga, Mason Ryan (Batista Jr.) and Husky Harris (Bray Wyatt) to all come out. What a clusterfuck. Everybody aside from Punk was ordered to the back or else be DQ’d. #2 would turn out to be Daniel Bryan. Wow, that’s how you start a Rumble! No facial hair, it’s weird, and Punk’s hair is short and lighter. I don’t dig the hair game her for either guy. Michael Cole is killing it on commentary making fun of internet fans. What I am seeing is a bunch of guys who should be the main event scene in Dolph, Punk, Daniel, Wade, Zack, Dibiase, Cody, and John Morrison, and well that’s just not the case 6 years later, sadly. Zack Ryder has Nasty Boys trunks on, and was a #1 contender around this time. So the highlights from the first 10 guys were Punk, Daniel, Punk, Regal, Morrison, and tubby Bray. The story around the teens is that Punk, Husky, Axel, and Otunga are working together and clearing the ring of everybody. Khali eliminated Husky, but then Mason Ryan came out and got rid of Khali. Superman at the height of his burial powers has to be due out soon I fear. The second 10 guys were incredibly not noteworthy aside from Mark Henry and Khali. I’m sick of Lawler whining about how this isn’t what the Rumble is about.
Booker at 21 and the crowd is marking out big time. Great sign that says “Wrestlemania, we coming for you N”. If you don’t get why that is great, look it up. Here comes Cena at 22. Get the shovels out. 3 guys out in a minute, way to go Cena. I hate Cena in this timeframe. F*$& you Cena for eliminating Punk. tyson Kidd having to take a beating from Hornswoggle is ridiculous but funny too. Suddenly Lawler isn’t complaining about how this isn’t what the Rumble is about. Great. Kofi and Cena had a nice moment, ya know, before Kofi gets buried. Man, prior to this, Rey had been #1, 2, 4 & 8 in Rumbles. Impressive. OK, the 3rd round of 10 was really good. It involved the likes of: Booker, Cena, Rey, Wade, Sheamus, Swagger, Kofi, and Hornswoggle. Just guessing that this may be better than the last 10 guys, but time will tell. Man, as soon as Alex Riley enters, Cena clocked him. I am starting to wonder if rumors are true that Cena held him back. We know that Cena held Wade back. Did you know that Alberto is the only person to win at #38? Sorry, I had to. Randy got rid of Kofi and Shaemus, and now looks at Cena. If HHH was in there, that would be his 4 most opponents I feel. Gotta look at the Mania sign like morons. Kane at #40 is great. In the ring, we have Kane, Wade, Cena, RKO, Rey, and Alberto. Good choices. Kane and Rey are out. Riley comes out, distracts Cena, and miz eliminates him. New favorite elimination. Randy dumps out Wade, Alberto dumps Randy. But wait, there’s still one more guy! Santino never got eliminated! The crowd was buying it. COBRA followed by the trombone playing, and then Del Rio dumped him. I honestly haven’t wanted a guy to win so badly in years and years. We have long needed a surprise winner, and that would have really made Mania feel special. Instead, Del Rio would win, then lose to Dolph the next night in one of the biggest moments in WWE history in my mind. I loved it. This match, took too long. Pacing was a huge issue. Half of these guys were not at all special. The ending was great at the very least. Also, they brought back 2 legends in Booker and Diesel, which is clutch. Morrison had the great save. Lack of hoss matchups hurt. If it was just 30 guys, they could have actually had a better match in my opinion. I will remember the night for Diesel, Santino, Morrison, and Miz eliminating Cena. Still, I am giving this a 5.7 as it was a grueling match to watch.
Best Save – John Morrison with the Spiderman save. That is still unbelievable.
Best Quick Elimination – Zack Ryder because Vince hates young stars
Favorite Elimination – Sheamus Brogue kicking Hornswoggle out, Miz dumping Cena out
Best Rookie Hazing – Alex Riley thanks to Cena’s shovel
Best Hoss Showdown – Big Show and Diesel on the entrance ramp
Best Eliminator – CM Punk with 7
Best Survivor – CM Punk @ 35:17
Best Surprise Entrant – Booker T & Diesel blew the roof off the place
Best Returning Superstar – Great Khali
2012 – Aside from Punk and Bryan being champ, this is a brutal year. Neither man got to main event Wrestlemania. Instead, Cena vs Rock Once…..Twice in a Lifetime main evented 2 years in a row. So bad. If you want to know why I, along with numerous hardcore fans are cynical, this era really sticks out. The guys who deserved the main spots got shoved away for the part timers. End rant……for now. The Miz is #1 and Alex Riley is #2. This was a neat idea I suppose. Eh, I lied. This sucked. I want some Fruity Pebbles. Doo doodoo doooooo. Can we please stop looking at the Wrestlemania sign? I can’t be the only person sick of that balderdash. Primo and Epico were tag team champions at the time. That should tell you everything. Foley came in at #7 and the crowd was pumped. Nothing has happened so far, so of course they’re pumped. My doppelganger is in the front row. Ricardo came out at 8, and this was actually a great entrance. The crowd is very much behind him. Holy hell, Ricardo is killing it. Santino comes out at 9 and let the comedy begin. Foley and Santino have a showdown of socko vs cobra. Tremendous. Foley has now eliminated the tag champs and Gabriel.
Out of the first 10 guys, I’d say that Miz, Foley, Santino, and Cody mattered. Seriously, that’s such a bad list in 2012. The second 10 guys are highlighted by retired Hacksaw, Lawler, Booker T, and Dolph ZIggler. I forgot how bad this year was. Michael Cole at #20, and his song is Burn It To The Ground by Nickelback. Yeah. Kharma tosses out Hunico. I think Kharma may have been one of my 10 favorite females. Orton is over huge, and it’s his hometown, so there’s that. We get Jericho and Big Show to finish it off and toss in Sheamus, Swagger, and Wade for the last 10, and therefore the best 10. This was not a good year. Sheamus wins. I would say that this is like 4.4 territory based on the over reliance on old guys, and the fact that Miz and Cody were not exciting guys as survivors. Sheamus was a boring choice for winner. Jericho would have been a better choice as he feuded with Punk anyway. Geez, more sign gazing between Jericho and sheamus really irritated me.
Best Save – Kofi walking on his hands, spectacular!!!!
Best Quick Elimination – I would say Ricardo as it was short, but Lawler’s was shorter.
Favorite Elimination – Big Show simultaneously taking out Miz and Cody
Best Rookie Hazing
Best Hoss Showdown
Best Eliminator – Cody with 5….slow year
Best Survivor – The Miz @ 45:39, Cody @ 41:55
Best Surprise Entrant – Mick Foley, Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Michael Cole, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Kharma, Road Dogg
If you have been following the Wrestling 9 Deuce or PPV previews/reviews, or even listened to the Are You Not Kentertained podcasts (click here to find all of the podcasts), you would know that Russ promised to riot if The Miz didn’t break The Honky Ton Man’s record as the longest reigning Intercontinental champion. Well, The Miz lost it on Sunday, and as promised, Russ did in fact riot. I had to witness it live, and it was not a pretty site. So please, check out the gallery that documents Russ’ descent into madness. I am going to link you to my website as there is a nice story that goes along with it, only available at 9deuce.com!