Yeah, here we fucking go again. I’m not making any bold claims. We both know that I will probably give up far quicker than I should because I hate diets and exercising. I do have a reason as to why I am back to this.
Monday, I went to the doctors, and the news wasn’t great. My blood sugars are up to a level that require medication, my cholesterol is finally high, my blood pressure is absurd, and my heart beats are more frantic than ever. So I made a deal with the doc that we;d do a follow up in 3 months, and I would do some blood work 2 weeks prior. That gives me approximately 10 weeks to drop some weight and get myself heading in a better direction. I honestly have no idea if I will achieve this or not. I hope that I do, but I won’t know for 3 months. In the meantime, I am dieting, exercising, and looking to start some yoga. Fucking hell.
You know the drill by now. I give you my exercise playlist, and you pretend that you care. Deal?
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Oh, another movie with flashing lettering and loud music. Really, stop being shitty people who make horror, please. So we are dealing with this dude named Lincoln, who is bullied at home, bullied at school, and one day the dickheads go too far, so he fucks one of them up. He is sent to this camp or retreat for other troubled youths.
You would be shocked to find out that there are more bullies at this fucking place. Fortunately, there are 2 really attractive chicks, especially the one who plays Kaitlin. She is something to behold in this film, like they amped up her sex appeal, and she, I’m just gonna stop. My goodness. Makes me wanna take her home and unh, double up unh unh.
So Lincoln makes friends with Kaitlin who just has this thing for this guy. We also find out that there is some dead chick names Moira, who is now helping Lincoln kill these assholes. If Kaitlin didn’t exist, Moira would be my favorite character because she likes to play with razors and she is hot in her own way, and she kills. So she’s cool in my book. I used to have a thing for another sexy killer with blades, Freddy fucking Krueger. That man is, well he’s the fucking man. It appears that Moira can cut herself and that results in cutting her victim. Oh, and Moira says that she is Lincoln’s, and he is her’s. OK, I actually like her the most now. Oh man, I forgot about Christine, the yoga instructor, who uh, yeah, easy on the eyes. Oh man, Kaitlin in Daisy Dukes.
We find out that Kaitlin had fucked with some girl in high school that stole her boyfriend, and so she got nude pics, shamed her, girl committed suicide. You know, Disney movie shit. Well she took a liking to Lincoln to be on the other side and try to help somebody. Good story lady. I hope that Kaitlin gets killed by Moira and then they have a 3 way with Lincoln, while everybody is bloody, because there would be some merit to that. Lincoln just told Moira that he didn’t need her anymore and she had a breakdown. Yup, she’s the only character I truly like. Kaitlin is in to cutting so now her and Moira are hanging out. This shit is kinda cool, not that cutting yourself is cool, but you know, watching it is.
What I like is that Jack hit Moira in the head, which caused him to basically get hit in the head. Neat idea. OK, the longer this goes, the less I am digging this. It has gone from re-watchable guilty pleasure to being a tad unbearable. Dammit. Ohhhhhh, now Kaitlin loves Lincoln. For fuck’s sake. Anyway, everybody dies except Kaitlin, and during the credits, a teenage girl wishes for everybody to die and we see Moira’s calling card to help her out. Sooooo Lincoln, lighting yourself on fire and dying solved nothing. I am shocked.
The acting was fine, but angsty teens can all just shut the fuck up, be polite to each other, and stop being dicks. Then this shit stops happening. See how easy it is? Before acting like a dick, stop, don’t do it, and buy a Snickers. Anyway, this is another instance of everything looking fine, the acting being good by and large, it comes down to if you want to see more stuff on bullying and people who are sad pandas due to it. Moira, although over the top the last 20 minutes, still has potential as a character. They could do a sequel, and I’d probably watch it, because that’s what I do.
Final Rating – 5.1 because after sleeping on it, I can actually see myself liking this more and more. There are parts that I still hate, but a lot of the film was good. just some really glaring bad parts, but yes, would re-watch. Now….I say watch it to see some hot chicks and lots of blood. If neither interest you, this may not be the movie for you.
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