#142 Zombie Night (2013) Review

This movie is on NetFlix. It has a few notable people in Daryl Hannah, Anthony Michael Hall, and Alan Ruck (trust me, you most likely know who he is).

It starts out and zombies are striking. And they don’t let up….because it’s zombie night. This movie is almost a modern day Night Of The Living Dead scenario, only with worse acting.

I think we are supposed to sympathize with certain characters, but it’s next to impossible.

I just got asked why I don’t seem to be typing much in this blog. Here’s the simple truth. This movie is bad. It’s not cheesy enough to be funny. It’s not good at any one thing really, it screams mediocre all around. Not the actor’s faults, they’re doing adequate. The story and  film in general just is beyond blah. Therefore I am stuck with nothing to really make fun of, no terrible one liners, no tits, no exceptionally scantily clad vixens. No overt racism or sexism. No over the top violence. Most movies have one overwhelming characteristic. Something that you walk away thinking, well it may have been _____ but at least it was ______. In this case it may have been boring and bland, but at least it was…..inoffensive??? I’d rather spend this time teaching a 60 year old how to use a smartphone or tablet. It may be irritable, but at least something would be accomplished.

In conclusion, this movie is terrible. I don’t want to waste anymore of your time than this movie has of my time. I recommend this if you have a severe hard on for everything zombie, and even then, I doubt you’re gonna have a good time.I am giving this a 2.5. No real redeeming qualities. Sorry, I wish it was better, but it is on NetFlix.

This picture describes my reaction to trying to watch this movie.

The Quest for Breasts Total

51 Bare breasts

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#120 28 Days Later (2002)

Would you believe me if I told you that I don’t think I’ve ever fully seen this movie? Yeah, it’s surprising. So for #120, lets take on one of the modern day classics and see how I like it, or possibly love it.

I think I may hold off on the play by play stuff for this one. I want to simply watch it, and reflect upon it afterwards.

So I have watched it despite a few interruptions.I don’t believe that I did ever see the full movie. It was good. I’m not really sure what sets it apart from other movies in the same genre though. It has a 7.6 on IMDB which is extremely high for a horror flick. I liked the movie a lot, but I was expecting to be utterly wowed based on that rating. Instead, I found myself saying it was a very good epidemic/zombie flick. This isn’t meant to demerit the film, there’s a ton to like or love about it.

Frank was obviously my favorite character. Naturally, large gentlemen typically are my favorites. His whole personality was solid, aside from taking the tunnel. I can’t say that I agree with that. I think this was one of, if not the first of the rage virus type zombie films. Please don’t try telling me that this was not a zombie film because A) you’re wrong, B) your opinion of what constitutes a zombie movie greatly differs from mine, and C) you’re wrong.

The military aspect is always in effect it seems. I liked how they changed it up though by wanting to keep the women. I know the movie tried making it so we felt that they were the bad guys, but the reality is, it makes 100% sense for them to do what they are doing. If the thought process is that the zombies will starve themselves eventually, you do need to repopulate the Earth. Now, in their mind, they have a sweet set up there in which they can protect themselves and their investment. So what if they have to kill off one dude? It’s nothing in the grand scheme of things. Survival comes first, but you also need to have a longer term end game plan. It’s not just about fighting for today, but also fighting in hopes that there’s a better tomorrow. That shit gets overlooked so often.

I can’t get past how highly rated it is. It’s a 7.6, The ring is only 7.1. Stuff like that…..nope. Anyway, I myself would recommend this to anybody who likes this genre, and even for those who are on theays fence, you will indeed find some characters that you like. The story snowballs and builds up, so be prepared for a “slower” beginning. I’m going to give this a 7.2. It’s really good. The picture is of my second favorite guy in the whole film.

Breasts Totals Updated (I think I saw 2 raging topless women, so going with 2)

32 Bare breasts

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#109 Antisocial (2013)

I know nothing about this, but this is the 4th film I have tried within 30 minutes, and the beginning was solid. Something about an outbreak or epidemic. I am happy with these types of films. This only got a 4.4 on IMDB, so that doesn’t scare me too badly.

The main chick’s name is Sam, and her boyfriend and her are having issues and taking time apart. I loathe dumbasses taking selfies. I wanna start an anti selfie movement. Ohhh, I gotta hold it up and angle it down just right to get my cleavage and the right lighting so my smile isn’t as fake. Fuck that.

So far, this movie is dumb as hell. Sam went to some New Year’s party. Some white chick is flighting with a black guy, oh and she’s blonde. There is no surprises here. Oh, she’s stripping. OK, she has some sexy shit on. This movie is keeping my interest thanks to that move. I bet she would buy him a pair of sneakers and carry them in the mall for the black guy.

Now they are reporting some incidents on the news, maybe a plot can finally pick up.  Back to hookerbot dancing, but no nudity yet.  This could be like a rage virus epidemic. Seriously, still no tits. I just read, no fucking nudity. C’mon fuckheads. This is why I really wish I was making horror films. I know my audience. Some raging dude intervened during the dancing, so black guy shoved him off like the second story of a house. Everybody is supposed to keep their doors locked and whatnot.

Needless to say a friend is asking to come in, but he is bleeding from his ear and nose. So they decide against it. And now one of the 5 people is bleeding. I’ll leave it at that. This movie has pacing issues.

As per usual, the people in the film lack any kind of common sense and act like they live in a bubble where there’s never been a movie or a story about an epidemic of any kind. That always frustrates me. You know those zombie movies where nobody has ever heard of a zombie, but they have smart phones? Yeah, that shit bothers me, it’s fairly insulting.

Another thing to go along with that is with any kind of outbreak, you know that you need to keep yourself as covered as possible until you learn how this stuff is spread. You get blood on you, clean it ASAP. Do not hesitate to put a fool on his back if that’s the difference between you surviving or their last thoughts being that you’re an asshole. If you see on the news, numerous reports of a ton of people experiencing certain symptons that are unusual, and then someone you know is doing the same bizarre shit, that’s when you tune up Boys II Men’s “End of the Road”.

I guess my main point is, don’t come to me during an epidemic unless you are absolutely willing to earn my trust, and follow my guidelines. Otherwise, go find someone else. Oh shit, there’s still an awful movie going on, right?

A good movie allows you to sucked in, even momentarily no matter how big the plot hole, you even start forming arguments to support what you’re watching. And then there’s this garbage. You’d think I’d dig a film making fun of people’s overuse of social media. I am all for mocking people who live vicariously through their phone. You don’t need to take daily or weekly selfies. Nobody wants to see or hear about every meal that you have when you dine out. And if you do, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

Fuck this movie. I tried hard to like it. I tried to get past a lot of the awfulness, maybe it’s so bad it’s good type of film. Nah, it just sucks. There is like a tumor in people’s heads caused by bullshit, that’s what they determine. I think I may have developed a tumor in my brain after seeing this. I give it a 3, and the next movie I see better be entertaining damnit.

I don’t own the rights to this picture or film. It’s from the film, so they are the owners, not me. That picture reflects how I feel at the moment.

T&A Totals still didn’t change at all sadly.

13 Bare breasts

2 bare asses

2 concealed breasts

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#64 Night of the Living Dead (1968)

For the most part, this is what a lot of people consider the grand daddy of them all for zombie flicks. This movie is still damn fun to watch.

“They’re coming for you Barbara.” God that is some classic awesomeness. Johnny scaring Barbara always puts me in a good mood. Barbara is a panic driven dumbass, but that’s what makes a solid horror flick sometimes. And a black dude just pushed white Barbara into the house where they shall stay. The black dude is Ben, and it is a DAMN shame he didn’t have a bigger career. He is awesome in this, and one of the best leads in horror history I feel. Ben always seems to be thinking on how to improve their situation and to not dick around. He is a thinker and a do’er.  He’s a fucking hoss.

I like the pissed off white dude that looks kinda Rob Cordry. I think his name is Harry. He just wants to do things his own pissed off way. By and large, people try working together, although Barbara is absolutely useless.  Loved Ben smacking that bitch down. How did black folk get so stereotyped in horror despite this amazing character? I am inspired to make a horror movie with a good black lead character.  The one chick looks pretty, not Barbara, I think it is Judy. She is bangable as the parlance of our time.

Harry tossing out some molotavs is pretty sweet sight to behold. Ben and Tom are gonna make a drive for it to get some gas. Stupid bitch Judy decides that she is now going with the guys, stupid women in movies. My god. And it’s not like they make them dumb. This is just a thing that so many women in stressful situations are not good with going with the flow. It’s true. But Kent, why you gotta be all sexist? My response is simple. Get in the kitchen and make me cornbread.

Tom is a dumbass, gets gas all over the truck. Him and Judy just exploded. Ben is a man outside all alone and pretty fucked. Go ben GO!!!! He’s got his torch and his shotgun. Dude is a survivor. He made it back to the house somehow, and Harry doesn’t let him in. Hoss kicks in the door. They seal up the door and now Ben is beating the fuck outta Harry. He is a fucking HOSS! Is it any wonder this movie has a 7.9 on IMDB?

I really love the periodic news updates as well. It makes it seem more realistic.

Harry was waiting for Ben to drop the gun. Ben has to prevent the horde. Harry makes some demads, Ben says fuck you honkey, and hits him with some wood, wrestles the gun away and pops a cap in Harry’s ass. Is Ben the all time greatest horror protagonist of all time? The bitches  are getting attacked. the zombified girl in the basement just started eating Harry. Sweet. Zombie girl stabs up Helen, who was Harry’s bitch. Not sure why a zombie doing that much work, but I ain’t questioning it.

The house is getting over run. Barbara just got taken by zombie Johnny. Little girl just tried biting Ben, but he’s like, fuck naw. Ben goes to the basement, the zombies are still coming. Shit is getting REAL son. Harry is rising up as a zombie. Ben just unleashed 3 more shots in him. Not wise, but understandable.

I want Tarantino to make a zombie movie with this cast. Samuel L Jackson, Christoph Waltz, Christopher Walken, George Clooney, Jaime Foxx, Havey Keitel, Bill Paxton, Johnny Galecki, Jeremy Sisto, and Steve Buscemi. The plot is a bachelor party, zombie apocalypse breaks out. You mean to tell me that you wouldn’t watch this movie?

Now the ending here, its morning, the posse of guys are shooting all the zombies. Ben is relieved, he comes out of hiding. A guy spots Ben in the house. The guy is told to take aim and fire. And Ben just got a bullet in his bubblegoose. Sooo sad. Let’s pour one out for our dead homey. Booo.

All in all, movie gets an 8.7 from me. The ending although necessary for the point Romero was trying to prove I suppose, still leave me pissed.

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The Santa Clarita Diet 9 Deuce – Season 1 Part 3 of 3

Welcome to the Santa Clarita Diet 9 Deuce blog!  If you are familiar with what I do, then you can just skip this intro.  If this is your first time, allow me to explain the set up.  I have asked 9 questions about the season and then 2 bonus speculative questions in regards to next season.  It’s a gimmick, it works.  I have a panel of 4 lovely ladies and myself.  We are getting perspective from all across the US in this one as we have Arkansas, Florida, New York, and Oregon all represented.  What a nice mix that is.

This show is created by Victor Fresco and I just wanted to give him a shout out for a great story and casting.

I have divided this up into 3 parts because these shows that you can binge watch, you can’t really do a truthful episode by episode breakdown with questions because you know damn well that you will have watched the next episodes before you answer the questions.  Simultaneously, it’s nice to bring in readers, so dividing this up into 3 parts seemed fair.  Please enjoy.  Here are the links to the other 2 parts.

Part 1 of 3
Part 2 of 3

Please check us out at facebook.com/9deuceblog , on Twitter @official9deuce, or Instagram at Official9Deuce.  Share this, like this, tweet this, whatever the hell else is new and cool in the world of social media that my old ass has never heard of.  Thank you.  By the way, I have way too many pics, so I am just going in chronological order or else this would take far too long to be truly specific.  Any comments in bold are done by me.

 

  1.  Is it better for them to “cure” Sheila’s body from deteriorating, or to see how outlandish that they can go with it?

Bri:  It would be really funny if they could keep her falling apart for a while but long term, fixing her deterioration would probably work better. She can’t keep up the charade for long if things keep falling off.  (Yeah, how far can they truly push it is a definite question.)

Cece:  I think shit will eventually hit the fan, and I sort of hope it does. I’d like to see what the writers do with it.  (I’d suggest checking out Contracted and Contracted II.  You may not wish to see shit hit the fan after that.)

Kristi:  I do not see them finding a cure. I’m hoping they have some others change and they do a Dexter style killing show.  (While that would be cool, I think that would be weird for most of the core audience.  I’m all for something Dexter-ish.)

Melanie:  I think for the sake of the family a cure is better.

Kent:  I think the deterioration cure needs to be found.  Otherwise her body should fall apart rather rapidly.  Abby will be aging, so they have to show a passage of time, and it wouldn’t make sense for her body to just hold together.  On the other hand, this is a comedy, so who the hell knows what BS they will come up with.

 

Bonus Deuce

 

  1.  Name an actor or actress who you would like to see show up for an episode or two in season two?

Bri:  Maybe Walton Goggins! He and Timothy Olyphant have excellent screen chemistry and I just love him! He would be hilarious on this.  (Great choice!  I love Walton is everything that I have seen him in. )  

Cece:  I’d love it if for some reason they brought on George Romero or even Bruce Campbell.  (I could totally get behind Bruce, and I see no reason why that couldn’t happen.)

Kristi:  John Lithgow!! Again with Dexter, he was amazing in that show and I could see him in some crazy character in this series.  (Lithgow is an awesome dude.  I love watching him in The Twilight Zone movie.  He was really good in it.)

Melanie:  Cameron Diaz? Her name just popped into my head.  (I looked her up because I couldn’t remember liking her in anything aside from There’s Something About Mary, and sadly that’s all I’ve ever liked her in.  I’ve seen a few of her roles, The Box, The Mask, Any Given Sunday, Being John Malkovich, Shrek, and Shrek 2.  I guess she does not speak to me.  The worst thing is, tangent time, but The Box had a lot of potential, and they totally blew it.  It wasn’t the actors faults either.  It was a good story that got shamefully stretched out way longer than it should have.  The premise was really good.  Sorry, I had to get that out because I hate missed opportunities when there’s a good story and it’s carried out poorly.  Cameron Diaz everybody!)

Kent:  Edward Norton. The answer is always Edward Norton.  When it’s not Edward Norton, it’s usually Ron Perlman, Tiny Lister, or Steve Buscemi.  Robert Englund would also be cool as hell.

 

  1.  How many seasons do you think this show reasonably has in it?

Bri:  That’s a tough one! It could be as few as 2 but I could see them stretching it to 5 if they really try.

Cece:  I’d say 3 or 4, easily.

Kristi:  I could see 5 series or more in this series. If they do it right and change the right people, this could be a long lasting show.  

Melanie:  At least three.

Kent:  I expect a similar path as Orange is the New Black, but not as popular, but also not as preachy.  OITNB had a really great first 2 seasons and then had a sharp decline in 3 and even worse, much worse in 4.  The show will probably lose relevance after 3 and pull out 5-6 seasons.  I’ll say 5.  I gotta get more analytical here for a moment.  The concept of this show limits it’s longevity as a comedy.  The reality is that eventually this virus spreads and more people get hungry.  At that point, how many additional cast members are you going to add?  How far out and zany can they really go to meet new people to kill and get food?  How long before they get caught?  The reality is that this show should have a shelf life of 3 years but will go 5.

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The Santa Clarita Diet 9 Deuce – Season 1 Part 2 of 3

Welcome to the Santa Clarita Diet 9 Deuce blog!  If you are familiar with what I do, then you can just skip this intro.  If this is your first time, allow me to explain the set up.  I have asked 9 questions about the season and then 2 bonus speculative questions in regards to next season.  It’s a gimmick, it works.  I have a panel of 4 lovely ladies and myself.  We are getting perspective from all across the US in this one as we have Arkansas, Florida, New York, and Oregon all represented.  What a nice mix that is.

This show is created by Victor Fresco and I just wanted to give him a shout out for a great story and casting.

I have divided this up into 3 parts because these shows that you can binge watch, you can’t really do a truthful episode by episode breakdown with questions because you know damn well that you will have watched the next episodes before you answer the questions.  Simultaneously, it’s nice to bring in readers, so dividing this up into 3 parts seemed fair.  Please enjoy. Here are the links to the other 2 parts.

Part 1 of 3
Part 3 of 3

Please check us out at facebook.com/9deuceblog , on Twitter @official9deuce, or Instagram at Official9Deuce.  Share this, like this, tweet this, whatever the hell else is new and cool in the world of social media that my old ass has never heard of.  Thank you.  By the way, I have way too many pics, so I am just going in chronological order or else this would take far too long to be truly specific.  Any comments in bold are done by me.

  1.  Will any of the other main cast members, between the family and the neighbors, become undead?

Bri:  It is definitely possible. Shows like this always have to expand the afflicted. I don’t think it should be Joel though. He balances her out and if they both got the impulse overload, it would lead to complete chaos.  (Joel should be the safest character or else the dynamic would be too off the wall, at least until the final season when they just go crazy if they want.)

Cece:  That’s an interesting thought. I mean there’s already Loki but it would be funny to meet a new character who’s undead.  (It would be interesting to go on a journey to find patient zero.)

Kristi:  i honestly don’t know, I would like to see Abby change though. I think she is a strong character and it would be fun to see her change.  (I think her or Joel will change in the final season so they can go crazy.)

Melanie:  Lisa Palmer, played by Mary Elizabeth Palmer. I have a funny scene in my head where her new partner, her dead husband’s cop partner, thinks that Lisa is cheating on her because Lisa gets all dressed up to go out, but really is going to go out and eat people.  (I definitely would enjoy this.  Lisa’s character has the most potential in my opinion.  She nailed everything that she was given.)

Kent:  Yeah, it seems inevitable.  I think the safe money would be on Rick or Alondra to get them more involved, but the funniest would be Eric.  I suspect that they may hold off on that one for a bit though.

 

  1.  Were there any subplots or stories that didn’t work well for you?

Bri:  I know they needed the Dan thing for interest sake but that whole thing made me crazy. Everything about him and his story bugged me.

Cece:  I thought the ending was kind of a cop-out. The doctor just leaving and stuff was bullshit. (I totally agree.  The only good thing about her role was Abby fucking with her and Eric.)

Melanie:  I did not like the the professor part at all.

Kent:  The dead biker dude and his brother’s storyline went nowhere, and then Abby wore his jacket after like it was nothing.  So when he is found dead, he had a fairly noteworthy jacket.  The whole thing was just screaming “We really had material for 8 episodes, but needed to wedge two more episodes in so here you go!”

  1.  This is the funniest new TV show that you have seen since….?

Bri:  Hmmm.. this ones tough! There are a lot of funny shows out there and this one doesn’t really compare to any of them! So The show that comes to mind is It’s always sunny in Philadelphia but those 2 don’t have any relevance to each other.. (Both are hilarious!)

Cece:  Parks & Recreation!  (I concur, and Office was better than both.)

Kristi:  Not a tv show but it reminds me of of the joy I felt when I watched Serial Mom.  (I’ve never seen it.  Yes, I’m a slacker.)

Melanie: Funniest Netflix created show…that I have seen all of?   (Nodding in agreement.)

Kent:  Rick and Morty.  If we exclude animation, probably early Parks and Rec.

 

  1.  This is the best thing that Drew Barrymore has been in since…..?

Bri:  The only thing I ever really cared for her in was Ever After and that’s just because I’m a big pansy girl on the inside. Otherwise this has been my favorite of her by far.

Cece:  Ever. Let’s face it, she’s never been the best actress. This is my favorite role by her.

Kristi:  This is one Im in my own with. I loved her movie Miss you Already. It was very much a chic flick but as someone that has her best friend 3,000 miles away, it hit home.

Melanie:  50 First Dates

Kent:  50 First Dates was the most recent thing of hers that I liked, which was during a time when she did that, Donnie Darko, The Wedding Singer, and Scream.   Prior to that, there was ET, Firestarter, and Cat’s Eye.  All great.

All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:

The Santa Clarita Diet 9 Deuce – Season 1 Part 1 of 3

Welcome to the Santa Clarita Diet 9 Deuce blog!  If you are familiar with what I do, then you can just skip this intro.  If this is your first time, allow me to explain the set up.  I have asked 9 questions about the season and then 2 bonus speculative questions in regards to next season.  It’s a gimmick, it works.  I have a panel of 4 lovely ladies and myself.  We are getting perspective from all across the US in this one as we have Arkansas, Florida, New York, and Oregon all represented.  What a nice mix that is.

This show is created by Victor Fresco and I just wanted to give him a shout out for a great story and casting.

I have divided this up into 3 parts because these shows that you can binge watch, you can’t really do a truthful episode by episode breakdown with questions because you know damn well that you will have watched the next episodes before you answer the questions.  Simultaneously, it’s nice to bring in readers, so dividing this up into 3 parts seemed fair.  Please enjoy.  Here are the links to the other 2 parts.

Part 2 of 3
Part 3 of 3

Please check us out at facebook.com/9deuceblog , on Twitter @official9deuce, or Instagram at Official9Deuce.  Share this, like this, tweet this, whatever the hell else is new and cool in the world of social media that my old ass has never heard of.  Thank you.  By the way, I have way too many pics, so I am just going in chronological order or else this would take far too long to be truly specific.  Any comments in bold are done by me.

  1.  Let’s start off with an easy one.  Who is/was your favorite character?

Bri:  Definitely Joel! First of all, I’m obsessed with Timothy Olyphant! His show, Justified, is an all time favorite! But also because he’s hilarious and sweet. Oh! And you gotta love the high functioning stoners too!

Cece:  I really like Joel and Eric. Joel is such a great husband and Eric is just a dork and that’s why he’s great!

Kristi: Abby.. i love that she is cool with finding bodies and see her parents bury half bodies. Her friend Eric is also pretty cool.

Melanie:  Joel! His dedication to his zombie wife was truly amazing. I loved Timothy Olyphant in this role. Such a difference from the last thing I saw him in Justified.

Kent:  I liked Eric the most.  I know, big surprise, fat nerdy guy likes the nerdy guy.  I’ll tell you something, I also really thoroughly enjoyed Dan and Gary.  I know that Dan is not beloved, but his character was actually pretty funny if you think about it.  The whole ant thing was funny.  Abby had her moments.

 

  1.  Who is the character that you least enjoyed?

Bri:  The obvious answer would be Dan of course. But I’m going to add Gary’s pervy self to my list lol! Something about a man who doesn’t know the meaning of No always peeves me.  (Likewise, women who say no, but meant yes, and then get mad because the guy didn’t figure that out, so then he becomes that guy because he’s sick of the BS.)

Cece:  Dan was a dick. Also, the fucker who faked knowing a lot about the living dead stuff at the convention.  (Anton was his name)

Melanie:  Dan Palmer, played by Ricardo Chivera. That dude always plays a jerk.  (Yeah, I looked him up.  I would like to see more of him.)

Kent:  Sheila is the obvious choice for me.  A character with zero accountability trying to be some free spirit of sorts, like no consequences for her decisions, setting a bad example for her daughter, making Joel stress out way too much.  Yeah, it’s her.  

 

  1.  Aside from your pinky toe, what external body part would you be most OK with losing?

Bri:  Maybe some teeth? Lol! At least the back ones. Plus it seems practical that teeth would be one of the first things to go! Lol  (How come zombies tend to always have decent teeth, at least enough to eat people and whatnot?  I’ve long wondered this.)

Cece:  A different toe? lol I can’t think of anything else I’d even be okay with.

Kristi:  I’d be cool with losing the 4th finger. The one next to your pinky. I need to be able to do the devil horns at concerts.  

Melanie:  None. I can safely say I would be ok with losing none.  (You wimp)

Kent:  Pinky finger honestly doesn’t get a ton of use.  I mean it’s there for most of my daily activities, but it doesn’t carry the same responsibility or necessity. Left hand of course.

 

  1.  What is your favorite joke or one liner or situation from this first season?

Bri:  The chicken was pretty funny! Her running around like a crazy person wearing a plastic parka! Lol Also, so many one liners by Joel that are so great! “You’re acting a little manic, honey” “Well I Feel REALLY manic!!” And “well I don’t really care for you eating people either darling. And by the way, they’re legalizing my thing!”  

Cece:  I absolutely loved the part where they said they were going to fuck the corpse and paid the guy.

Kristi:  Not sure its a one liner but I enjoy the line… “what if I just ate pieces of people and let them go”… “Nope… thats worse”.

Melanie:  “Why do we have to live between two cops? Why couldn’t it be two rival pastry chefs?” -Joel

Kent:  Ramona in the store was really entertaining to me.  Also, Joel’s “What the fuck?” as simple as it is, worked well every time. Bunchen’s “30 seconds!” was amused me.  All of the responses above were solid.  Lots of great moments.

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#331 What We Become (2015)

A zombie film in Denmark. If you are looking for this to bring something fresh to the genre, to reinvent the proverbial zombie wheel, then movie along. If you want a beginning stages of a zombie apocalypse type film, this should be fine for you.

I honestly feel that this is simply a shorter variation on what we saw in season  one of Fear The Walking Dead. Most of the characters are dumbasses. Were we supposed to like the teenage son Gustav? I liked Dino, by and large, but he had some major lapses in judgement. Him and Casper doing a 2 man recon is terribly naive. Yeah, you move faster with 2 men, but early on, not know what you’re up against, you do better with strength in numbers.

That leads to my major gripe that I so often have, especially with the zombie genre. It’s like these mother fuckers live in a world where the horror genre, especially the zombie genre never existed. Like what the fuck? How hard would it be to really consider what real people would do, if you get a group of reasonable people? Granted, I think that this is a reasonable expectation of your common, every day neighborhood. Let’s face it, if that shit goes down where I live, I actually expect it to be even moronic.  Still, I want a smart group in a zombie apocalypse, with their shit together, and present reasonable issues for them to deal with it, and how with some foresight, how you can do in the zombie apocalypse. You don’t need a Rick Grimes to survive, but that is one way, but many have fallen. It’s not a smart group all too often.

I also really hated the opening and closing written flashing shit. It added nothing to it other than to irritate and get your attention. It’s becoming an overused tactic, sometimes accompanied by loud, angry music which is simply off putting. It’s not even that the music is bad, but that’s often not the right tone that you want to set for your film. Use some common sense. Just because it kicks ass doesn’t mean that it is the right song to set the tone for the film. Stylistically, this was very good and watchable. I simply see no point in re-watching this one. It looks good, and it’s fun for a viewing, and it is short. Still, despite it’s length, you may wish for it to just hurry the fuck up and be done with it.

Rating – 4.1 As there are too many issues, and not enough great things to over compensate the flaws. The effort was there, the acting was good, especially by the mom, but the story simply fizzled for somebody like me who has seen too many of these films, and it did nothing to differentiate itself aside from being from Denmark. I wish I had more positive things to say, because the effort was there.

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