#24 Wrong Turn (2003)

In all honesty, I didn’t finish this movie, but I have seen it in the past. I don’t care much for Eliza Dushku. I love Jeremy Sisto. The rest of the case wasn’t memorable. Once Sisto got got, I lost a lot of interest the first time I saw it. Shockingly, the same thing happened again this time around. The sequels are perfectly fine for cheap ass direct to dvd type horror flicks. With this being the original, it should been strong I felt. This whole Hills Have Eyes meets Deliverance type story was adequate. Honestly, I’m really not gonna say much more. I’m giving it a 5.1 and moving on.

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American Horror Story S:6 Ep:7 – 9 Deuce Discussion

AHS S:6 Ep:7 9 Deuce Discussion

Welcome ladies and gentlemen. I just gotta say, wow. They tried to outdo the Walking Dead with the death count this week. You know who the winner is? We, the fans. This is fantastic. I always have these vague references to dudes with lots of women, and then I consider who my target demographic is and realize that nobody would get the reference, and it makes me sad. Anyway, I am joined by 4 ladies again this week because chicks dig the dolphin smooth look.  I will say thank you to Melanie, Cece, Stef, and Kelly this week. The way this goes is simple. I ask 9 episode specific questions and then 2 bonus questions that can be anything AHS related. I provide plenty of typos and grammatically incorrect questions, and we some fun. Thank you for reading, and thank you ladies for the help!

Please feel free to leave your own questions or comments in the comment section. For example, tell me one person who will be dying this upcoming episode.  Also, was the Priscilla in the opening 5 seconds of the episode?

P.S. Sometimes the formatting messes up and the answers are not the way that they should be. If you notice any errors, feel free to yell at me. My apologies to Kelly as I already botched her #5 response. If others are fucked up, let me know.

 

  1. Who is the most interesting character now that we have had a massacre?

Melanie:  Agnes

Cece:   I am starting to be more interested in Shelby now. She must be feeling so much shit.

Stef:  I think this leaves Dominic as the most “interesting”, after his confession about why he came back to do the show. (Kent: He would have been my answer had Finn not been in this week’s episode. I really dug his confessional.)

Kelly:  It’s going to have to be Lady Gaga because they’ve already revealed that she is the original Supreme and we need some more info on that. (Kent: Yeah, that commercial for her new album was…something. Shame that we haven’t seen her in a couple of weeks now.)

Kent:  It would be incredibly cliche for me to say Pig Head or Priscilla at this point, and although Dom really raised the bar this week, the obvious answer is Finn’s character that we caught briefly glimpses of this week.

 

  1. What’s up with Matt? He claimed to have not remembered his first encounter with Gaga. We now know that he remembers stuff and fell for her. Yet, he was still a dick to Shelby and Dominic. What do you make of Matt now?

Melanie:  This is reason he came back.  He remembered his encounters and couldn’t get enough of that crazy! (Kent: Some dudes are just drawn to crazy chicks. I cannot relate in the least bit.)

Cece:   I still think he is being possessed, or rather, unwillingly enslaved and in debt to her character.

Stef:  Yeah, that was rather confusing. How do you NOT remember things that happened in the woods, but you came back for her because you’re in love with her?? Doesn’t make any sense. Maybe he was still “entranced” when he said that?? Doesn’t matter now, because Shelby bashed the SHIT out of his “non-recollecting” skull.

Kelly:  The only thing I can assume is that she had him in a trance of some sort. Maybe she found out he was back and came to see him again. It doesn’t seem likely he’d come back for her if he really forgot their first encounter. He shouldn’t remember her, which makes sense as to why he was resentful towards Shelby’s affair. What do I make of Matt now? Well, orange juice because he’s pulp. *cue finger guns*

Kent:  OK, while I think that he was in a trance based on how he was walking when he got up and went to the basement, I will just go in a different way. Matt was just playing both sides. He was playing the whole “I’m possessed” bit while pounding some sweet Witch strange. He claimed that, and then he acted all pissed off and defiant about the Shelby thing so he could act the victim and be portrayed in the media as a victim. He was playing that well. Kudos!

 

  1. Were you disappointed by no big name returns this week, or were you satisfied with the episode?

Melanie:  Happy to see Finn Wittrock back!  Let’s be happy for small favors, lol.

Cece:   I’m not sure honestly. I’m still in tune regardless.

Stef:  I found this episode incredibly intriguing, but seeing more familiar faces would’ve made it more fun.

Kelly:  No one wants in on this contract.

Kent:  It appears that had I waited a day or 2, I could have read that we had 1-3 big names return, so I come off looking like a jackass.  Good times.

 

  1. I will probably keep asking this question, sorry for redundancy, but are you sticking with your lone survivor prediction, or are you picking somebody new?

Melanie:  I still think it is Lee.  She will be without a leg, but yes.

Cece:   I may choose someone new due to this episode. My first choice just got turned into jerky. Sooo, I’d say maybe Dominic?

Stef:  Well, Lee was my lone survivor prediction, but uhhhhh…. ??? She’s at least missing parts now. Maybe it’ll be Dominic.

Kelly:  If I stay with one, Shelby (Lily). But at this point you killed off half the damn cast! Who cares who lives!

Kent: Well I predicted not one, but 2 people last week in saying that it was either Rory or possibly Sidney. Well, once again, looking like a jackass. Since I don’t like Lee, I’ll say Lee and hope that the Polks have a big appetite. I am absolutely cheering on Dom though.

 

  1. Pick one: A) Lee was smart for having a gun. B) Lee was a dumbass for not bringing more ammo.

Melanie:  Option B…you always need more ammo.

Cece:   I say both. She did waste most on Edward Mott though. (Kent: I say pick one. You are disqualified.)

Stef:  OMG, B!! Obviously!! Shit.

Kelly: Lee was a dumbass for not bringing more ammo. They didn’t know what they were dealing with! And she should have know out of that trio since she lived through it!

Kent:  B is the right option.  When you watch what I watch, you learn a few things. You don’t shoot your enemy just once. You shoot them at least twice, and one bullet should be for their head. Secondly, you never just hit your assailant just once. You hit until their head is goo. You should also wear a leather jacket and a baseball bat with a female name, but that’s just outrageous and nobody would ever do that.

 

  1. Did Lee, Audrey, and Monet make the right decision, in theory, not utilizing hindsight, in venturing out to find Sidney instead of just going to town? Town is an hour and a half to 2 hour walk depending on pace and getting lost. Sidney’s trailer should be relatively close, so keep that in mind.

Melanie:  Whatever they chose, they would have gotten caught.

Cece:   I think maybe they should have headed to town, but no one really knew what they were gonna find out at the trailer.

Stef:  I wouldn’t have wanted to wander around in those woods, knowing it was going to get dark soon, and potentially end up lost. Trying to find Sidney’s trailer just seemed like the obvious/smarter move.

Kelly:  I think IF I were in that scenario I’d likely choose the trailer first. I feel like that’s instinct to go to the nearest thing first.

Kent:  Knowing what I know, I find the road. I do not walk on the road. I walk close to the road while being in the woods. I keep going until I find a house that looks civilized and take my chances. Why? If I’m ever in a situation with some killers, they have probably watched the same shit that I have and are  waiting to ambush me in the easiest and most likely places to get me. So zig when they are zagging and you may survive. None of my contributors would live, sorry ladies.

 

  1. Would you have eaten some Lee flesh if put in the same position as Audrey and Money were put in by the Polks?

Melanie:  Hell no!

Cece:   Not much of a choice…

Stef:  Oh god, I don’t know. If that were a REAL situation, I may have already been puking.

Kelly:  I don’t think the Polks really care about money… They lived off the land, remember? 😛 (Kent: Sigh….well played. I am notorious for my typos.)

Kent:  Sure, why not? I’m not saying that I am totally psyched about Ma Polk’s seasoning, but if prepared properly, it seems more enticing. I also just watched 6 Wrong Turns last night, so don’t judge me. Also, Pa Polk should have been played by Sid Haig.

 

  1. Is Evan Peters really, only to be in 2 episodes, minus his brief cameo in the tree? If you think that he will be on in one of the 3 final episodes, tell me how, or under what scenario.

Melanie:  Yes!  All people who die on the property come back under the blood moon, right?  So…we will see all of the dead back.  I think that the people who died from the documentary will come to help the living. Besides Matt, who is going to kill Shelby.  (Kent: I really like everything that you just said there and am jelly that I didn’t think about that first.)

Cece:   Maybe his character, since he died there, will return as a ghost? Not sure honestly. I think this may be the end of him.

Stef:  I don’t like to try to predict these things… would rather be surprised.

Kelly:  Let me restate this from last week…
*in a Drew Carey voice* “Welcome back to Coven, where we throw away a flourishing actor’s potential!”

Kent:  Whatever I say, it’s going to be wrong somehow. SO I’m just going to say no more Evan in hopes of him coming back.

 

  1. What has been your favorite death in this half of a season: Diana, Rory, Alissa, Sidney, Matt, or Agnes?

Melanie:  Agnes

Cece:   Matt’s was sick!

Stef:  I did love watching Agnes bow in front of the Butcher to get her face axed, but Matt’s death was completely shocking!

Kelly:  Matt… Strictly because of the irony of TWD just a few nights prior!

Kent:  I liked Agnes’ best, because it felt sincere. She finally got to meet her hero, so that’s the way to go.  Matt’s, well 3 nights prior, I saw how that death happens, and how it was done better. Had there been man ass or had we seen more of the Witch, I could have been inclined to change my answer.  I’m really sad that nobody chose Rory’s hilarious death. I can’t tell if AHS is just ripping off Walking Dead or paying homage at this point. First, they mentioned them by name in last week’s opening. Secondly, their star is actually British. Finally, they head bashed in death knowing full well which week TWD was doing theirs. I’m still hoping homage, but they should probably stop. If somebody starts using a crossbow though, and then I’m calling out AHS.

 

Bonus Deuce

 

  1. This is Cuba Gooding Jr.’s best role since _____ (name the role and or film, unless this is his best in your opinion)?

Melanie: Especially loved him in Jerry Maguire.

Cece:   I haven’t watched in much, honestly. Last thing I remember seeing him in is ‘Snow Dogs’ honestly. Lmfao.

Stef:  I’m not a huge movie buff… I’m no good at answering this.

Kelly:  Snow Dogs! He’s been in so many other noteworthy films since then, but that’s always the first one I associate with his name.

Kent:  Boyz n the Hood. That movie brought a new light on a culture that wasn’t terribly prominent in big films at the time. That movie is still one of my favorites, as is Menace II Society.

 

  1. With only 3 episodes remaining, will we get more on Priscilla or Pig Head’s back story, or do you think that they have moved on at this point?

is-that-priscilla

Melanie:  Neither.  Sorry Kent…you will never know more about Priscilla.

Cece:   I believe we will see more of Priscilla’s. Not sure about Piggy.

Stef:  I’m really kind of thinking/hoping that Pricilla will step in to help someone, somehow. So MAYBE they’ll give us a little more story on her.

Kelly:  Pig Head we’ll at least see again due to next week’s preview, but not sure about any origin stories being told this time around. I have an inkling Murphy’s “secret season” that’s in the works might be a bonus to this one since we’ve gotten crap for 7 episodes straight and this season is mysteriously only 10 episodes long.

Kent:  On one hand, there’s only 3 episodes to go and we still have some major players to introduce into the fold. On the other hand, they just massacred half of the damn cast, so they did open up some time in theory for some backstory. I feel that we will get one and not the other, and as much as Pig Head has been my boy all season long, I need to know more about Priscilla.

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#391 Wrong Turn 6: Last Resort (2014)

And we are at the final chapter for now, and my goodness, this girl is totally nude and has a fantastic body. So the story is that Danny gains an inheritance, which is this old hotel with hot springs, established in 1902. The caretakers are a tad odd, Jackson and Sally. We also know the cannibals have to be around somewhere. Jackson is in on it with the cannibals, so Sally probably is too.  Jillian is an obnoxious piece of shit, so she will presumably die early on.  Jackson just gave our 3 boys the business, and said to leave Danny and company alone.  Wait, Toni runs normal, not like a girl in a horror flick. I am amazed.

I just finished, and this had a different director than 3,4 & 5, and it shows. This one had a story again. That is nice. This one wasn’t just an outrageous kill fest. This one went deeper into the roots of the family.  This was actually a fun movie that you could enjoy the story. Sure, it’s far from flawless, but there was some substance here, thankfully. This evolved nicely. I know that some people hated this, and the same can be said for all of them.  A lot of people preferred 4 over 3 and 5. Morons aside, this left me wanting more. I stopped wanting more but now I am ready to go if we can ever get a part 7.

Rating – 5.1 as I think I would watch this one again. The chick in teh beginning was amazing, lots of gratuitous nudity, the kills were fun, and I liked Danny’s evolution as a character.

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#390 Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines (2012)

Well this has to be an improvement over part 4 and illogical fallacies of the decision to not kill when you have them trapped. Fuck you film, you aren’t winning me over with tits this time. After the guy kills Kaleen in the beginning, why is his axe clean seconds later? How the fuck does the bow and arrow guy fire off 2 shots less than 2 seconds apart? Why did the officer shoot first? Who keeps paying for these movies to be made?

So far, this is infinitely better than part 4 and part 3 for that matter. I like the idea of people dressed like the hillbillies for Halloween. More importantly, I like having Doug Bradley involved. OK, Lita is getting the water ready for her shower and the water is cold, so she sticks her hand in there, and say “Ow”. What the hell? Is cold water painful to your hand? The sheriff lady is dumb as fuck as well. Lita, you are the worst in this movie. Your game plan is to hit an intruder once in the head and then run? Seriously? Fucking finish the job!  OK, and what is the point in them taking sledgehammers to Gus’ legs? Aren’t they supposed to be cannibals? Aren’t you just ruining the meat? OH, they ran him over after.  Once again, what is the point? HAHA, she has deputized Billy, Julian, and Mose to make it through the night and gave them shotguns. Oh, I am Kentertained. And then she leaves them after saying not to split up. This is just insulting to the viewer’s intelligence. 35-40 minutes remaining. Ugh. I should be drinking. The guys in the jail hear her fire a shot, and they decide to not go check it out. Wow…. just wow.  Lita has made it to the Sheriff station.

Billy and Julian are now leaving to find Cruz, and leaving 2 women, a drunk, and Pinhead at the station. Smart. Well they find Cruz and get attacked, as expected. Both guys deserve to die. Haha, Billy is buried up to his neck on a soccer field, and Julian has a chain attached to his leg. Oh, here comes the sweet snow blower and both guys get got.   Sheriff is going to send Mose out for help. Maynard is still trying to get himself set free. Lita wants to set Maynard free to end this, but Sheriff is stubborn. So Sheriff and Mose are outside. Smart. Well, Mose is driving, so probably somebody is in the backseat, because this is horror.  Mose runs over the barbed wire and totally crashes. Of course. It sucks because Mose and Maynard are clearly the 2 best characters, and we know Mose isn’t surviving, we’ve known this all along. They lock Mose into a barrel, and i believe that they intend to roast him. Mose just got burned and then exploded.  Oh, Maynard has convinced Lita to let him out. Good for him. Haha, she did it, he did it. Hahahahahahahaha, He just took out both of Lita’s eyes, has a gun, and Sheriff shot him. Haha, fuck you Lita.  Sheriff locks him back up. I am so happy with Maynard now. Lita stayed right on top of her but she wasn’t fast enough to pull the trigger. Sheriff is no going outside for help and hears her boyfriend, Jason, and he has tape over her mouth, ropes attached to the door, he shakes his head no so she continues opening up the door, which cuts open his torso and he dies. Three Fingers just beat the shit out of Sheriff. Hey, what a surprise, the 2 dumbest bitches are the final survivors.  Why?

Good, Maynard has duct tapes a shotgun to the Sheriff’s mouth and it is rigged so that when she gets off of her tip toes, she will execute herself. OH, and an added bonus, lights the jail on fire.  Good. She deserved it for being a moron. So long Sheriff. Good job Maynard! Since this takes place before the original Wrong Turns, Maynard is actually the Old Timer from parts 1 & 2. Nice job with continuity.  Maynard and the boys pick up Lita walking the on the road. Haha.

Rating – 4.0 back to what I expected from this franchise. Some insulting your intelligence stuff, but nothing so awful that you want to murder shit. Maynard really made this movie. I would consider watching this again, gun to my head.

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#386 Wrong Turn (2003)

This movie has spawned a ton of sequels. Since I am digging this season of American Horror Story, a franchise about some backwoods folk seems reasonable.  We are dealing with some mountain men cannibals who are mutated from generation of inbreeding. Sound familiar? Yeah, thought so. So kick back and enjoy.

I don’t remember much other than Jeremy Sisto and Eliza Dushku are in this, and I love Sisto, and that he dies early. That’s what I recall.  I never under Eliza’s appeal. She doesn’t stand out to me I guess. There’s nothing wrong with her, I simply remember that she was very popular for a bit, and I never understood the hype. The chick playing Carly is wearing sweatpants, that’s just….terrible. Of course Sisto’s sunflower necklace is terrible too. Like everybody looks like tools is my point. I think that adds to this film though to be honest.  Francine is the absolute worst character, so you know that early on, good stuff happens to her. Her boyfriend Evan gets it first, then she gets barbed wire to her face. Awesome. This is a movie where you absolutely want every character to die.

Sisto doing the “Can I get an oooo oooo” is great. Well, so far, Evan and Francine are fucked. Chris has joined Jessie, Carly, and Scott, and they make it to a house that nobody is answering the door, and a Deliverance reference. Oh, and Carly has to pee. Like serious, you are on in the woods, you know what to do. At the 26 minute mark, we get a…..record player. Seriously.  This place is well designed, so props to the production crew on this.  I love it, they find her the bathroom. She has been whining about needing to piss for a few minutes now. So she is in the bathroom, and she looks in the mirror, fixes her hair, looks around….like bitch, you had to piss so bad, keep wasting time in this house that you are trespassing in. Back of my fucking hand.

They finally decide to bail just as the people are pulling in the driveway. I say you just walk out and say that you were looking for some help while all 4 of you are together. You take your chances rather than hiding. Now they see Francine’s dead body on the ground, and I stand by my idea. Strength in numbers! Eliza, you breathe too heavily, dumbass. So if they had ever seen a horror movie in their lives, they would know to walk the the way that you came from, because that is the known. You don’t go in a stranger’s house. You piss in the woods. There, I just saved everybody’s life, but am willing to sacrifice Francine and Evan for the good of the cause. They go to leave while the guys are sleeping, so let’s make as much noise as humanly possible. Love it.

I now recall why this movie irritated me. 2 of the 3 last people are Carly, who exhibits zero common sense or survival skills, and Jessie who breathes heavy and makes so much fucking noise as to draw attention to her and anybody else trying to hide. She really fucks the group over, and that shit is not fair. The whole thing is cool and yet the outcome is bullshit. Just let it be realistic. Chris is a dude with a  shot leg and is still more useful than the girls. You want equal rights and equal pay, but in a horror movie, women rarely ever step up to the plate in an reasonable way that would help others survive.

Rating – 5.1 as I think I have seen this like 5 times…..5 begrudgingly bad times.

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#322 We Are What We Are (2013)

I found this on NetFlix and have been putting this one off for months and months. I am happy to say that I sat down and enjoyed this one. Kelly McGillis and Larry Fessenden are both in this, and I love Larry’s work most of the time.

We have a story where we know something isn’t right with this family. Early on, you may question if this is a town wide thing, or strictly family based, and yes, it is just this family and it’s traditions. You can probably make a good guess as to their secret. The matriarch of the family (the mom for you dunskies) dies very early on and responsibilities are passed down to the eldest daughter, Iris. She tries to shoulder the burden, but her sister Rose tries her best to help, as they also have a younger brother who is struggling with everything, especially the loss of their mom, and constantly being hungry.

The storytelling in this may be a tad methodical for some, but I felt that the pacing was pretty spot on for what it needed to be. It’s not scary, but it does have horror elements. The story and the acting are the strengths here. The father, played by Bill Sage, and Iris, played by Ambyr Childers, really carry the film, and the latter half Rose is also a solid player. Michael Parks is the Doctor, and he’s been in so many great things, or even lousy things, but his acting and characters are usually great.

Rating – 5.7 I think I will re-watch this down the road, maybe in a year or 2. It was a fun ride, and it’s on NetFlix, so give it a shot.

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#311 Bone Tomahawk (2015)

I came across this on Amazon Prime, loved it, and it has a great cast.

Start Film

We start off with Purvis (David Arquette) and Buddy (Sid Haig), and they are killing people and stealing from them out in some mountainous area. Purvis is not great at killing, but Buddy is the old sage. Unfortunately for them, they hear a horse in the distance, so they take off to go into hiding. Purvis is skeptical of where they are heading, but they are hearing stuff from various directions, and come across a burial ground, probably for Indians. Purvis is scared, but this seems like the best play. They hear movement, and then Buddy gets an arrow to the throat. Purvis takes off as a being is attacking Buddy. Purvis accidentally knocks over a skull.

Welcome to the town of Bright Hope. We meet Arthur (Patrick Wilson) who has a busted leg and is injured for the next 12 weeks. His woman, Samantha is clearly irritating him, she’s trying to be optimistic, but he’s frustrated. We see Purvis busying what he stole. We meet Brooder (Matthew Fox) in the old saloon. There’s an old dude who plays piano for some drinks. He’s a solid drunk.

We meet Sheriff Hunt (Kurt Russell) and Chicory (Richard Jenkins), and Sheriff is going to feed his backup deputy some hot soup. Chicory tells him about seeing a guy while he was out on a ramble, and he didn’t recognize him. He noticed that this stranger, Purvis, was burying something in the ground. Time to go meet our stranger. Samantha and Arthur are having some sex, and my goodness, she is a treat. She was riding him, but he wants to do this the right way, with him on top. Hunt and chicory find Purvis in the bar, and he is claiming that his name is Buddy. Hunt is interrogating him, and Purvis is acting awfully suspicious. So he asks about the hole, and Purvis tries to run, so Hunt shoots him in the foot, and he needs medical attention. Sam and Arthur are working on cleaning his busted leg. Brooder shows up to get Sam as she’s the next best thing to Doc Taylor, who is drunk. Nick is another deputy, and he is good at checkers. OK, I feel that we have met most of our main characters. Purvis has a fever, so Sam and Nick will stay the night to monitor him.

A black dude hears a ruckus out in the stables, checks on it, gets his throat slit and a spear through the head. Good bye Buford.

buford

There’s Lorna, the Sheriff’s wife. She’s making food, and Clarence tells Sheriff of what he found, and he said nobody was at the jail. They inspect the barn, Buford is still there. They check the jail, and there is an arrow, so they fear Indian abduction. Hunt tells Arthur, and Arthur is pissed and they meet up at the Learned Goat.  They have an Indian who has an idea of who it is, and he is afraid of them, these troglodytes.  Hunt asks why they didn’t eat Buford, and Chicory asks if it’s because they think black people are poisonous. Sheriff, Arthur, Chicory, and Brooder are gonna mount up to this terrible territory and try to get back Nick and Samantha. There are a lot of witty one lines, mainly by Chicory. Lorna is giving Sheriff some guff on him leaving. Oh, his name is Franklin Hunt. Yay, a first name. Chicory puts some flowers on his wive’s grave, and he’s not sure if he will make it back. And off the 4 men go.

Brooder is setting up defenses, and a line of bells. Brooder is bragging about how smart he is for having never been married. Brooder is a cocky dick, and my favorite character. Him and Chicory. Chicory is telling Sheriff that he has a hard time reading a book in the tub because he always gets the pages or book wet. Brooder just shot an animal that set off a bell, because he is one fast hombre. Arthur took off his boot and it was actually agonizing to watch. Watching him apply the alcohol to his broken leg is agony. Sheriff wants Arthur’s opium, and he don’t wish to yield it, but he begrudgingly does. Sheriff is worried about the infection turning into gang green.  At night, a guy shows up and scares our group. So there is a showdown. Sheriff is having them step closer, but Brooder just shoots them down. Brooder thinks that they were scouts, and they should move to a different camp for a defensive position.  So they move along at night. Chicory is pissed at Brooder for shooting the Mexicans, mainly because one was wearing a crucifix.

They got sneak attacked, and Arthur gets the kill on one, but Brooder’s horse got killed because she was smart and loyal to him. Brooder has to go put her down. So they no longer have horses. They will have to continue this on foot, which is going to be tough. Arthur is not going to get much sleep trying to stay on pace. They pass him during the day, and they will leave a pile of 4 rocks every so often as a trail. Arthur makes it to camp. They rest, they wake up, Brooder makes a comment with some innuendo behind it, so he gets punched by Arthur. Arthur’s leg  is fucked. They gotta do work on it. Chicory sets the leg with a hammer, and he’s knocked out between the pain and opium. At night, they hear some noises, like a howling or horn. I also love Chicory’s line “It is the official opinion of the back up deputy” and then something ridiculous. Brooder’s mom and sister were killed by Indians, and that is why he hates Indians. “Deputy, is it possible for you to close that aperture?”

It’s daytime, and time to monitor with the German (like a looking glass). They are following some tracks now. They go under this overpass, and hear the noise more. There’s this path with some tight fits and an overpass every now and again. Brooder is going to investigate, and he’s not back in 30 seconds, the fellas are to retreat. Sheriff has the pocket watch out and hear the howl. They got the signal that it is clear to move up a bit. Suddenly, all are attacked by arrows. Chicory got nicked in the head, but they killed 2 or 3 of these dust or ash covered attackers.  Brooder is  fucking doe.  Sheriff got an arrow lodged in his left bicep.  Brooder wants the dynamite and lit cigar, as he won’t live as a cripple. Brooder is under attack, now it 4 on 2 with Sheriff and Chicory against the savages.  This is some messed up shit. They put this horn or a bone in Sheriff’s mouth and then knocked him out.  Brooder is dead, and our guys are getting dragged via rope up to the cave. These savages have a way to make this weird noise from their throat.

They make it in the cave and there’s Samantha. Nick is unconscious. They are restrained behind these primitive bars. Chicory and Sheriff are in one cell. Uh oh, they are taking Nick out of his cell, and there’s 2 of them. They take off his clothes, and there’s lots of man ass. Sheriff and Chicory are trying to break out, and they chopped off a finger or 2 from Sheriff’s hand. Nick is awake and tells him about Purvis. Nick asks Sheriff to take care of his stuff.  They scalped Nick, shoved that in his mouth, and held him up by his legs and chopped him right now the middle. Very graphic.

Chicory asks if there is any truth to the Sheriff telling Nick that there would be a cavalry, but it’s not true. Sam asks about Arthur’s condition. They tell her about the trail. She says that this is why frontier life is so hard, because the guys are idiots, including Arthur. There are at least 12 males, and 2 pregnant females who are blind.  The plan is to poison them with opium. Alright. Arthur is awake and delusional.  He’s having a bad time making his way. He is praying for some help as he’s crawling at this point. He has run out of water.

sheriff-and-chicory-behind-bars

They entice the savages with the beverage and he pounds that shit. Well, now he will share. Sam is still being all pissy, that even if with the 3 dead, plus 2 more from opium, that’s still seven. 2 attack Arthur as he’s sleeping and he kills them. Arthur inspects one of them that he killed, and looks at the throat, where they have the weird thing that allows them to make the sounds. Arthur now owns it basically. He makes it to the spot where Sheriff and Chicory got abducted. He’s smart enough to take a different path. He uses the whistle thing and gets one to approach really fast, and he guns him down. Nobody is coming despite all the gun shots?

Sheriff is encouraging Sam to eat some of the bird that they gave her. Chicory tells them a story about some flea circus, and Chicory was so entertained. He thought it was real. He believes those fleas are alive and talented. Sam says that they were legit fleas just to put a smile on his face. She stopped being a bitch for a moment. How nice. Now the primal call again. They dragged in their dead. They remove 2 bars from Sheriff’s cage, and he comes out fighting and knock  him to the ground. Chicory tries to help but to no avail. They cut open Sheriff’s belly and put the flaming hot flask in the wound. They then shoot his hand. Next he tries to shoot him in the dock, but doesn’t know how to reload. Outside, we hear that Arthur is shooting fools. The savage reloads and shoots Sheriff in the torso. Sheriff chops off part of the savage’s foot.  and then kills him, but put up a hell of a fight.  Arthur checks on his wife, and Sheriff is dying, but Chicory is OK at least. He tells them to go out the way they came and to get his rifle. Sam thanks him. Chicory looks so lost and sad. Sheriff asks him to say goodbye to his wife, and he will say hello to Chicory’s.

They go to make their escape and come across the blinded pregnant women. Poor women, they looked like they were in such a bad state. Arthur, Samantha, and Chicory go past the original burial ground and they make their way back home. She’s so uptight that she won’t kiss Arthur because of the mouthpiece until he washes his mouth. We hear 2 more gunshots, and they walk away.

End Film

Final Thoughts – This movie simply has so many interesting elements. At it’s heart, it’s a western. There are also 10-20 great one liners that will make you laugh. There’s also some serious violence and gore. So it accomplishes being all of these things, in a brilliant way. I thought Richard Jenkins and Matthew Fox stole the show. Kurt Russell was also amazing as was Sid Haig and Arquette in their smaller roles. The one character that I never got 100% behind was Arthur. I wanted to like him more, and I understood his motivation and all of that, but he was just missing something. Brooder was by far my favorite character. The setting, the visuals, everything is here for a very enjoyable experience, even if you don’t like westerns.

Rating – 7.2 Lots to love here. The ending….that’s the weakest part, but because it’s the ending, it can’t reach 8.0 territory.

The pictures used in this blog are for review purposes only. They are the property of Caliber Media Company and whoever else may own it. Please, find this movie and watch it. You won’t regret it.