Here we are, finally at the end of an atrocious season of AHS that I may never recover from. It sounds like Melanie is right there with me……with a bottle of wine. We did our best with what we had. Thank you for reading this whole season. Melanie and I also did a podcast in which we discussed this season of AHS as well as Stranger Things. We go off topic a lot, but there are some gems in there. Please give it a listen.
I really want to thank Melanie for being a trooper all season long and also to Cece and Teddy who did try, but didn’t make it through the whole season. It happens, but everybody’s hard work is sincerely appreciated. All comments in bold are written by Kent.
If Ally and Speed Wagon were both working against the Cult, why weren’t they privy to that info rather than working against each other?
Melanie: I think they were working for different departments. Also, people undercover won’t know who else is undercover, so as to not blow their cover.
Kent: I can’t recall, maybe they were working for different departments. This all seems sloppy as hell no matter how you look at it, and for Ally to just get away with killing him seems absolutely absurd.
Was Gloria (Prison CO) part of Ally’s cult or just a meaningless pawn to provide misdirection throughout this episode?
Melanie: I think she was a horny lady. (That’s what I am hoping for as well.)
Kent: Meaningless pawn to throw one last misdirection at us. The way that it should have gone was Kai actually killed Ally. That’s how you do it and do some sweet 10 minute wrap up showing Oz taking over when he gets older, still believing that Kai was his father.
Is it realistic that Kai built up that kind of following that quickly in prison?
Melanie: Totally, based on watching other prison shows and this season of AHS. But in reality, no. (And now I regret my answer. I’m not changing it though.)
Kent: Having never been in prison and only basing my knowledge off of totally fictional and unrealistic TV shows and films, I honestly don’t know. I assume that he would have had to take on the head white guy and Kai doesn’t strike me as tough, but he is a good manipulator. I’m going to say this is plausible and probably regret it.
Were you disappointed in Oz’s lack of role the second half of the season?
Melanie: I know he was Kent’s spirit animal, so for that reason yes. (Oz did speak to me as a character, so yeah, absolutely good call on the spirit animal. Better than an elephant.)
Kent: YES! That was the one character that offered hope in the end and I have been saying this for weeks that I hoped for Oz to take over or have a bigger role. Nope, gotta give Sarah Paulson more screen time. That lady doesn’t get enough.
Why didn’t Adina Porter make the main intro video for credits? She was a MAJOR part of this, yet lesser roles got their names in the opening.
Melanie: Was she considered a guest star? Maybe that is why.
Kent: No clue. She was arguably the 3rd most important role in the whole thing. Certainly more important than Harrison and Meadow, and I would argue more than Ivy. WInter probably was 3rd, so Beverley would be 4th. Oh and yet Dr Rudy Vincent gets in the video and may have been shined by Speed Wagon and Oz. Think about that. Adina did a great job this season and has won me over.
Do you think it was lazy to not tie more past seasons into this one?
Melanie: Lana Winters and Twisty were the only ones I saw. Lame, like this season. (That moment when Melanie realized that there was a wine tie in to this season….oh it’s a treat.)
Kent: Obviously. The best that they could offer was Twisty, a Lana Winters reference, a bottle of Freakshow wine, and writing Pig on the door. They apparently cut out a scene in this last episode during the raid, Ally lights her cigarette with a match from Hotel Cortez, but it got cut. Just like the balls from this show were cut.
Are you sick of Sarah Paulson’s characters seemingly lasting until the end, and often triumphing?
Kent: Yeah, I absolutely am. Honestly, I don’t usually like her characters in AHS. She’s a talented actress and all, but she should eat some losses. Yeah, she got killed at the end of Roanoke, but even then she was in damn near every episode. At least Evan took a back seat last season. He’s a better talent, in my opinion, just sayin. Maybe it’s his role sthat I like more, but I really didn’t care much for him in 2, 3, 4, and 6, but I still think he’s the better talent.
Was Oz’s elephant supposed to symbolize Ivy?
Kent: As soon as I saw it, I recalled Ivy with the elephant mask and made the connection. I assume that was intended, but maybe not. Which means that Twisty represented…….who? Seriously, if Ivy was repesented by the elephant, might there be more symbolism that Twisty the killer clown represented Ally? She was a killer after all, and had the clown phobia. I like my theory, even if it isn’t accurate.
How lame was that ending?
Melanie: The whole season was lame, so why stop and make the ending awesome? I said the only way to make it awesome was to make it the final episode of Murder House. (You bring up a good point. Honestly, what the hell would we have done if the final episode was really good? It would be truly confusing.)
Kent: Oh my my my my MY, was that a lame ass ending. First of all, if you insist upon going down this path, the end scene should have been showing the women in a meeting to get a broader understanding of who was involved. That would have made more of an impact. Secondly, she doesn’t look good with a cloak. She just doesn’t. It was the worng color. A deep purple or a blood red would have been better.
Bonus 9 Deuce
Nobody liked this season. If you think about it, how many seasons did you truly like and would happily re-watch and which ones?
Melanie: I liked at least parts of all of them. I am tempted to go back and watch to remind myself how much. (That is one of my winter goals, once I get passed all of the ridiculous promises that I have made.)
Kent: So I had this conversation earlier today and the reality is that I have enjoyed Murder House, Coven, and Hotel. The rest I have more negative things to say than positives. That’s a terrible ratio. The odd numbered season theory unraveled on me big time this year. As much as I disliked this season, I think I may actually hate it more in a couple of years with hindsight. That’s no good.
This show is seemingly missing a lot of things like sex appeal, big stars, logic, ghosts, likable characters. If you could pick one aspect of the show for them to improve upon next season, what would it be?
Melanie: Bring Gaga back!!! Seriously, a more interesting premise…something supernatural or just plain weird. (Supernatural seems like an easy route that all but guarantees some likes. I see no issue with that.)
Kent: I also had this conversation with Kelly today. In her opinion, the sex appeal is missing and sex and horror mix so very well. Let’s face it, a lot of chicks love that combination and if you provide enough man ass and some sexy story line, you can keep your female demographic. On top of that, maybe you try to bring back your straight male demographic. We deserve hot chicks. Not the garbage that we keep getting. We deserve hot chicks and seeing their bare asses. The Chiller channel shows bare female ass so I know that it’s doable! This would help. But sex appeal isn’t my answer, but I wanted to acknowledge her point. My answer is better characters. They don’t have to necessarily be likable, but you need a few of them to attach yourself to. The past 2 seasons has been tough to latch on to many characters. Kathy Bates was a fail safe and she’s gone. This season, Oz and Beverley were my 2 favorites along with Gary Longstreet because Chaz entertains me. Still, that’s a shitty selection if you think about it. Ally and Ivy were irritable, Winter had way too many ups and downs like a crazy chick, Kai was so outlandish that it had it’s moments but the stupidity factor hurt a bit. Meadow was beloved by me but never got enough screen time. Just a hot mess. SO please, give us some characters that we can love, like Liz Taylor.
Were you Kentertained by this week’s episode?
Melanie: I was Kentertained with the fact it is over. (PRAISE whatever entity that you celebrate when glorious things like Cult ending happens.)
Kent: No, I most certainly was not. I knew it was going to be bad as soon as I got a message from Steff asking me what the fuck she just saw. SO yeah. This was brutal.
Final Thoughts on the Cult season and anything else that you want to get off your chest before we go away for another 9 months.
Melanie: This season made me incredible sad. I felt isolated from my regular AHS peeps, with the exception of Kent, who decided it was not worth their time or who didn’t keep up with the episodes. I continued watching with hopes it would get better. It didn’t. Will I watch AHS in the future? Yes. Will I have to drink a lot of wine to get through each episode? I hope not. (I also experienced a dramatic drop in friends who watched, and it sucks when you don’t have multiple people to hurl insults with.)
Kent: Worst season ever? I think it probably was, but I really would have to binge watch all 7 seasons to not live in the moment of week to week, but to watch the story unravel. I think this will be the worst due to characters and too much politics. If the cult hadn’t been rooted in politics, this season could have won me over. I’m actually incredibly happy to not have to do this blog for another 9 months. I do love getting the opinions of Melanie and sometimes other people, but the reality is that it’s tough to consistently write about something that you don’t like or have passion for and I have honestly lost my passion for this franchise. It’s not fun anymore. Look at how many people passed on the blog or stopped before we ended. I started with 5 people who instantly bailed after the first episode and 2 more that bailed towards the end. I don’t blame them. The fact that Melanie has to make wine jokes (maybe not jokes) to get through this is very telling. I can tell you that listening to her this year talk about the show vs last year was such a difference. Last year, there was passion and excitement and a willingness to get through it. This year, it felt like hopelessness and it sucked to be a part of it. For all of the insults that I throw at Ryan Murphy, the dude is a fucking brilliant writer, but this was just bad all around and I hope that he recognizes that and strives to get back to things that worked well. Start by getting a better cast. It doesn’t have to be familiar, but it has to be good. Then make sure to have elements of horror. That means scary shit, Asians crawling around on ceilings like last year, that shit was cool as fuck. No more politics. No more bullshit. Give us blood, sex, violence, but most importantly, tell us a great story.
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
Hey, at least I am posting this prior to this week’s episode airing. That’s something, right? Melanie is the only person sticking this season out with me. Give that lady a medal…..or better yet, a big bottle of wine. Let’s do this!
Are you going to miss Ivy’s character at all?
Melanie: Eh…maybe a little.
Kent: I liked the actress more than the character, so like Melanie, a little bit.
Would this have been more interesting if Kai was Ozzy’s father?
Melanie: I feel like that was an easy move to make, to make him his father. I think that Ally making him think he is his father is by far more interesting.
Kent: Somebody getting something over on Kai is tantamount to rest of this season’s story arc, so it was the right move, but I also would have been interested if like 3 episodes ago it was revealed that Kai was the father. Too late in the season for that in my opinion.
Evan Peters has now played a handful of roles this season. Which one has been your favorite of his?
Melanie: Did he drink wine at any point? Person drinking wine would be my favorite.
Kent: Hmmmm, I think I gotta go with Jim Jones. It reminded me so much of the film by Eli Roth called The Sacrament. It’s potentially worth watching if you like cult stuff.
Will we get a mass suicide before this season ends?
Melanie: A stopped at the right time mass suicide.
Kent: This seems like one of those seasons where everybody is pretty much destined to die, except Ozz, who will form his own cult in 29 years.
With 2 episodes remaining, is there any stories that you want to see more of or wrapped up?
Melanie: How does Ozzy’s father play a role in all of this. Does she try to find him?
Kent: How does Frances Conroy play into all of this, if she does at all, moving forward?
Were you Kentertained by this week’s episode?
Kent: Yeah, this was some guilty pleasure shit with Evan having 5 or 6 roles. This is just silly.
I am slightly late on this. Blame October. My apologies. Enjoy the blog.
Soooo, everybody that said Dr. Rudy was going to be involved on a grander level of this plot, how are we feeling now that he has been killed?
Melanie: After he said he was going to get Kai committed I knew that was it for him. I hate I was wrong.
Teddy: I did not expect that to be honest…who wouldve guessed that the man who was behind the whole stash the parents in their room would’ve been a softy
Cece: Well, my original thoughts were wrong too. But it makes sense he used his files to find his information.
Kent: Well, I feel like a damn fool. I’m not going to try the clever, “well I mean, I kinda saw this coming” bullshit. Don’t believe those who tell you that, because they are great big phonies. This is the sort of thing that makes me feel like I am in an abusive relationship. I feel mistreated in this moment. The calling card of the past 2 seasons has been, at least for me, as soon as I have an idea that would make the plot better, they instantly crush it and I cry and cover up my bruises.
What do you think will happen to Beverley Hope now?
Melanie: She will break out of isolation and fuck shit up.
Teddy: She is gonna be an end game character. I would like her to be the last standing person, but maybe Winter takes her out
Cece: I am starting to really like her character since she’s actually seen the light. So, I am not sure. I think, and hope, that someone will break her out and get Kai.
Kent: I think Ivy is going to try to rescue her and get both of them in trouble. Maybe Bev can get back in Kai’s good graces by killing Ivy.
Ally is a member of the cult. While some of us predicted that in this very blog, the question is, does it in any way invalidate a part of the early proceedings of this season?
Melanie: Nope. Ally has her own motives for being there. I think she is going to kill or injure Kai.
Teddy: I consider it grooming for time to come, but moving forward she WILL kill Ivy. Then move to destroy all the other people who ruined her life….she already caused the Dr to go. Next will be Ivy, then winter, then ultimately Kai
Cece: None of this makes sense to me, yet. I am waiting for the entire season to be completed so I can piece it all together.
Kent: Nope, everything makes perfect sense. She no longer has crippling phobias. They just magically disappeared. Bitch must be eating some lucky charms and riding on unicorns and whatnot. Fucking amateur hour. Like, they could at least show us the transition of her working through her shit, but nope, just suddenly fine.
Where was Frances Conroy this episode and will we see her again before the season ends?
Melanie: She is part of the one and done crew with this season.
Teddy: Probably one and done. She hasnt been active since Coven
Cece: I’d love to see her again. She’s dope. But, probably not.
Kent: It would seem like we should see her again, so you know what, fuck it. We will not see her again this season because that’s how AHS rolls.
This episode really focused a lot on Winter. Do you think that she will still be alive by the end of the season? Do you think she will kill anybody along the way?
Melanie: I have not idea at this point. Kill anyone else, you mean? Sure thing!
Teddy: I don’t think she will go down. Her and Kai are gonna get locked up together. Chaz bono is gonna get his but I feel like she is gonna take out so many of the skinheads.
Cece: Well, I mean she killed the cop dude. Sooo, I hope she goes after Kai.
Kent: This feels a bit like Murder House where I think everybody will be dead at the end, except maybe Oz. I think Winter is the one who puts Kai down, but if they do some shit where he is haunted by all of his poor decisions and starts seeing shit, like ghosts and they cause him to accidentally kill himself, that would be fine too. She will kill Chaz along the way….because he’s a turd.
Were you Kentertained by this episode of American Horror Story?
Melanie: I was Kentertained. I adored Rick SPringfield as Pastor Charles and the Hell House. I laughed uncontrollably at the threesome/savior creation session.
Teddy: omfg that whole threesome with “I swear” playing was over the top af, but I was triggered but the almost rape of winter. So it was 50/50 for me…
Cece: I mean, it was okay. I liked the Pastor Charles part. Reminded me of SAW.
Kent: Well, there were aspects that I enjoyed. Hearing I Swear gave me a raging clue, no matter how fucked up that situation was. I adore that song and know it by heart. I loved Rick Springfield as Pastor Charles and enjoyed that bit of flashback for once. I like how the women are all talk about standing up to Kai while still working in the kitchen and accepting punishments. I love Kai’s way of just making up shit as he goes and being so passionate about it. I can relate to that. I loved to get more info on Samuels. Still, I wasn’t having as much fun as I wished I was having. I guess overall I was Kentertained, but I could have used a bottle of wine. Melanie has made me a believer.
We are back, and trying to be better than ever. My PC has now crashed, so I don’t have a lot to say at the moment. Melanie, Teddy, and Cece are here to offer their insight while I don’t say anything remotely relevant. It’s ow we do things around here. Enjoy.
Is this just plain silly to you at this point?
Melanie: I don’t even know.
Teddy: oh man it’s been intense idk man but its still better than Roanoke (Kent: You know, in hindsight, I still liked the first half of that season……but fucking hell that got so bad.)
Cece: Honestly? I think it’s pretty entertaining.
Kent: As a whole, this episode was very fucking funny. It was so over the top. I find this beyond silly.
Would you like to see Lena Dunham come back for next season?
Melanie: Yes. She was highly entertaining. She is a wonderful writer as well. I was wondering if she wrote her whole part.
Teddy: I loved her performance, it was hella meta. People claim she is a woman who wants to kill all men lmao so they play her as that. It was pretty clever. I would bring her back
Cece: I definitely would love to see her do more. I follow her closely as she is one of my writing inspirations. I know she’s been dealing with some health issues, so I was glad to see her in this.
Kent: I came into this episode groaning about seeing her. I had only seen her 2 other times, wasn’t a fan. I rather enjoyed her performance. Her character was one of the worst things ever, but her acting was very, very good, so kudos to you Lena. Yes, bring her back.
What was the most cringe worthy part or scene of this episode?
Melanie: Andy Warhol was the worst. I ended up googling how he died, something about AHS makes me google weird shit. He died in a questionable way to say the least. (Kent: You aren’t alone in looking stuff up because of this show.)
Teddy: Andy Warhol to be honest. Or crazy lena dunham.
Cece: The ultra feminism stuff. Like, as a woman, of course I am all for women’s rights, but starting a cult to ‘kill all men’?
Kent: The girls being the Zodiac Killer or Andy….too close to call for this man’s tastes.
First Meadow and now Harrison. If you could kill off one character that is still alive in this season, who would it be and why?
Melanie: Beverly Hope
Teddy: I would kill Ally. Sarah paulson has been the “survivor” too many times.
Cece: Probably Kai. He’s fucking evil. But then again, he’s smart as fuck. So, probably Ivy. She just annoys me.
Kent: It’s really a tough one for me between Ivy and Ally. Ivy has been some a flip flopper that she has lost all credibility, but at least she nailed RJ. Ally is just irritating and Paulson can afford to let others shine.
Do you even care about Ally’s role in this season moving forward?
Teddy: I don’t care bout Ally or Ivy period really. Then again that’s just the sarah paulson effect for me.
Cece: I mean; I think she’s gonna end up getting pinned for everything. (Kent: That would be an interesting take on it.)
Kent: We all know that I hold great disdain for her character, BUT I honestly am excited for her “aha moment” when she figured out Dr Rudy Vincent’s involvement. That could be funny as hell.
Did you like their take on the Zodiac Killer?
Melanie: I do like their take. How interesting! It was one of my Holy Shit moments.
Teddy: I mean it certainly an interesting take. Multiple people doing the murders would make sense on why they never could pin it down on one person.
Cece: It was different. Didn’t really expect that but it worked.
Kent: I was not Kentertained by this idea. What the fuck is this, Ghostbusters 2016? Get the fuck outta here with this bullllllllshit. Just a bunch of women trying to take credit in herstory for some a man did. Andy Warhol would be spinning in his grave if he knew about this.
Beverley Hope’s character seemingly came off as a smart individual. Do you still think that she’s smart or are you starting to question her a tad bit?
Melanie: Her character is awful. Smart yes, but annoying as hell. (Kent: Is that wine flavored hatorade that you’re drinking? I want some.)
Teddy: I think she is going to be a rival cult leader. (Kent: I’d be intrigued by that. )
Cece: She is smart, no doubt about it. But, she is kind of overboard sometimes.
Kent: I’m not so sure that she’s all that smart. Leaders utilize their workers strengths. What if the reason that we perceived her being so smart is just how the show chose to focus on her and realistically, how Kai talked her, much like he did Meadow, who wasn’t terribly smart. I think it’s all perceived hype.
Have you ever seen the film, Zodiac?
Melanie: I know who is in it, but I don’t think I have seen it.
Cece: I have not.
Kent: I have seen it……like that surprises you.
We have only 4 more episodes to go. Are you disappointed in the role that Dr. Rudy Vincent has played in this season, or do you feel that he will still have a relatively large role in this season?
Melanie: He is involved behind the scenes. I think he is still the mastermind behind it all.
Teddy: he definitely is going to get involved.
Cece: I believe he is definitely involved in this, in a muuuch bigger way. After all, he is the sibling of Kai and Winter. (Kent: I won’t spoil anything, but you should check out the names of the next 4 episodes. They may provide some hints…or not.)
Kent: While he’s going to have a bigger role, this is tricky. It’s sort of like trying to rock a rhyme. Just because a role shines in the end, is a case of too little too late or just saving a big bang for the end? I think I would have enjoyed him having a bigger role, he’s actually a decent actor that I somewhat enjoy. I will reserve judgement, for once, until I see how it plays out, but I admit to growing impatient.
Were you Kentertained by this episode?
Melanie: I did enjoy this. I think the SCUM angle was the tits. It brought it that historical place I enjoy. (Kent: Don’t you mean herstorical? Come one now!)
Teddy: I like when they take historic things and add twists to them. So this episode was decent.
Cece: Yes. I love flashbacks to real life stuff.
Kent: This episode was fucking silly. Was I Kentertained? Yeah, but for all of the wrong reasons. Also, hearing the word “turd” so much made me want to hear Shelly on South Park say it a lot. I hope next week that we can return to a semblance of normalcy. I wish I had worn a NO MA’AM shirt during this episode in honor of Al Bundy and my hatred for ultra feminism.
We are short handed this week. I’d like to think that people are taking a stance against the stupid decision to edit this episode, but we both know that’s a lie. I am here with my AHS gal pal, Melanie, and we slog our way through yet another “riveting” episode of AHS. We tried, we did, but they aren’t giving us a lot to work with, and I’m fucking cranky.
Is this whole season just going to be mostly a series of flashbacks?
Melanie: Yes, but aren’t most season filled with an exorbitant amount? (Kent: You are probably right. I can think of some instances and I am sure I am forgetting a lot more. It seemed to me, and once again I am probably wrong, but it seemed like most of the flashbacks took a jump back in time so it fit the narrative. In this case, they are retelling things that happened weeks or months ago and that just seems lazy in a way.)
Kent: It appears that way, which Kent of 5 years ago would have loved. Kent with no short term memory is struggling to keep things straight. It’s unfortunately confusing at times for me and I practically need a chart to keep shit straight.
Much like Emma Roberts, Mare Winningham showed up for one whole episode. Are you satisfied with her role or would you have preferred more?
Melanie: I was satisfied with her role of a badass bitch. I think that people are doing a one and done because they don’t want to be more associated with this piece of garbage of a season. (Kent: That is slow clap worthy.)
Kent: I want more Mare! I fear that with Frances Conroy being the last familiar face left, she’s gonna be a one and done as well. Which begs the question, if they were going to do all of these one and dones, why didn’t they get more familiar faces?
Does the truth behind the gas trucks disappoint you?
Melanie: I was sure it was wine, so yes very disappointed. (Kent: So just in case any of the readers wish to buy Melanie a Christmas gift, she has been dropping some pretty big hints.)
Kent: Absolutely, unless it’s a lie. I’m still hoping for the joker. This seems all too clever ridiculous at this point.
Give me your thoughts on Meadow and her death?
Melanie: It just shows how people have really bought into Kai’s bullshit. At least she got some dick before she went. (Kent: See, that’s underappreciated. In the end, don’t we all just want a little something something before we die? Granted, I would also be happy with a box of Slim Jims, pizza, and a good horror flick, but that’s just me. Hookers and blow is still the way to go.)
Kent: Meadow has been my favorite character this season and I hated seeing her go down the way she did. It was a real bummer.
When considering AHS’ rich history of antagonists, has Kai done enough this season at this moment to be rated higher than the main antagonist from any other season? I’m not going to try to list them because this has become an exercise in futility. I would say that the first 5 seasons have multiple main antagonists, so you use your best judgement.
Melanie: He has proven himself to be the main antagonist, which is so very hard. Each season has more than one main antagonist…so bravo to him. But he is still not the best of the worst, lol. (Kent: Melanie and i talked about the main antagonists from season’s past. You would think that with all past seasons having multiple “main” antagonists, that with Kai being the top of the heap here, that he would be ranked higher. And then you consider the heap that he is on top of. SIgh.)
Kent: The thing is that he’s the leader and has followers. But he’s also involving politics. The Butcher didn’t stoop to that level. I want to give him credit for being a mastermind, but this has been so over the top that the credibility isn’t what you would like it to be. Until further notice, he’s still in last, but has potential to move past Butcher and maybe the aliens from season 2.
Were You Kentertained by this particular episode?
Melanie: Eh, not really.
Kent: This episode was a step down from the previous 2-3 weeks. It answered so many questions, but knowing that everything is real and not in Ally’s head has really lost a lot of luster. They turned the scope back to politics. Then there was the whole editing thing due to Vegas. That whole thing was a bunch of horseshit. If you are traumatized by violence at this point in time, it’s understandable, most people are empathetic to your plight, but use some fucking common sense and don’t watch a TV series titles American Horror Story. Don’t be a fucking idiot. I’m miserable and cranky. No, I can’t say that I was Kentertained this week, but I look forward to next week in the spirit of optimism! (Melanie: I watched the unedited one, you didn’t really miss much.)
We seem to be making progress this season and it’s nice. While I am in the midst of my horror filled month, I am still trying to best to keep my AHS posse happy. I wish I had more to say, but I am way behind, so please enjoy this blog. Leave a comment letting Melanie, Teddy, and Cece know that you appreciate their hard work Leave me a comment to tell me how bad I am at doing this.
For the month of October, if you see this logo, click on it to go see the updated list of my 100 Horror Movies In October Marathon.
Will Beverly Hope (Adina Porter) inevitably do something that makes her lose her position or power in the group/cult?
Melanie: I don’t think anyone is safe.
Teddy: I feel like that brashness is gonna come back to bite her in the ass like it did with Meadow. (Kent: That makes the most sense to me.)
Cece: No. I think she’s beginning to be the driving force for Kai right now. She keeps him level.
Kent: She still doesn’t have her name in the main credits. Right now, she is being built up as a power player in the group. That tells me that she’s gon’ get got within the next 2-3 episodes.
Is Meadow in serious danger or is this possibly a ploy to mess with Ally?
Melanie: Meadow is in serious danger. She disagreed with Kai’s wishes.
Teddy: yeah she legit flipped face after dropping the knowledge of the cult to Ally.
Cece: At first I thought it was maybe a ploy. But then when she mentioned about the cult stuff, I realized, this isn’t a lure tactic.
Kent: I thought it was a ploy. Then she mentioned Ivy as part of the group, and then I thought, geez, that would make the ploy all the better. I feel that she’s in danger, but I am always wrong, so I am sticking with a ploy crafted by Ivy.
Did you want the group to try to break the nails in the head record on R.J.?
Melanie: No. The whole scene was so awful.
Teddy: I’m not a squeamish person but that scene was hard to watch…
Cece: Of course. I was waiting on it. (Kent: I’m still waiting…)
Kent: That was the hope and the dream. They did a good job in filming that scene. I enjoyed Harrison informing IVY that she had to hold it to his head. It made me chuckle for whatever reason. Don’t judge me.
Was Kai right that R.J. had to die?
Melanie: No. But he doesn’t like when people feel bad, so in his mind he deserved it.
Teddy: I mean honestly prior to I thought it was Ivy going to be the one who gets it. The other guy at least partook in the activities whereas Ivy ran away and puked
Cece: I mean, probably in that circumstance. But, Ivy showed great weakness too. I see her going next.
Kent: I have really been dwelling on this. How much more stuff needs to be filmed? Yes, you need people that are unquestionably committed to the cause. If you have stuff to film, you need a good cameraman since the videos are a HUGE part of the plan so far. I think that he could have lived, and it was more about Ivy than it was RJ.
Do you think Kai still views Ivy as weak?
Melanie: He views everyone as weak. (Kent: I wonder who he views as strong, like as role models.)
Teddy: I mean if she didn’t pull that trigger she would’ve caught a few nails herself. Also why if she is there why the fuck is chaz bono also there?? Don’t they hate each other??
Cece: He should. I did.
Kent: With that haircut, absolutely.
Why did Bob Thompson have a gimp in his attic, and did it make you think of Pulp Fiction?
Melanie: Because he is obsessed with nipples. It did not make me think of Pulp FIction. (Kent: Nipples have become quite the talking point of blogs this month oddly enough. Glad to keep the trend continuing.)
Teddy: I mean did anyone expect less from a guy openly fucking a news reporter and showing clear favoritism?
Cece: I didn’t think of Pulp when I actually saw the gimp. But I did think it when he mentioned it. Who the fuck knows why he was there. Apparently Bob is a real freak. (Kent: I thought you, out of everybody, would have jumped on that one.)
Kent: I would suggest that Bob once met Tarantino in person and was inspired. Obviously, I envisioned the whole scene as it’s one of my all time fav scenes.
The title of this episode was “Holes”. What was the most important hole in this episode?
Melanie: Many different reasons, but the way this season is going I think it was because Ryan Murphy found a hole in his sock. (Kent: I hope that is in the commentary on one of the blu rays.)
Teddy: Idk man most important would’ve been meadow since A. She was still alive and NOT dead, and B. She dropped the cult bomb
Cece: Ya know, there were so many. I think maybe the hole that RJ left in the group. If you mean physically, his head was the best.
Kent: There are so many ways to take it, and that makes me think of the Gimp’s hole, but that’s just lewd. Meadow being in the hole seemed to be the most important thing to me, but I also enjoyed the dream.
We have now seen a glimpse into Kai’s home life prior to being the leader of this clown posse. Did the backstory make Kai’s character any more sympathetic to you?
Melanie: Yes, but they always make you feel feelings for the main antagonist. Also, this explains why he is bat shit crazy.
Teddy: Not even. The psycho isnt something developed. It’s something that’s always there. This just made it worse. (Kent: I gotta disagree. The psycho is sure as shit crafted from a young age.)
Cece: Not at all. Sure, his dad was a piece of shit. But this doesn’t mean he needed to become one as well. He could have left town and started over as a better person. (Kent: Doesn’t mean that he has to be, but this is a normal cycle, which probably happens more often than it doesn’t. Think about all of the piece of shit abusive fucks in the world. By now, that shit should have been weeded out, but it’s a cycle.)
Kent: I think it did for me. I needed to know what made him tick. Maybe some of that stuff hit a little too close to home for me. I loved the whole idea of locking them in the bedroom as well.
We now know that Kai, Winter, and Dr. Rudy Vincent are all siblings. Does this cement the thinking that Rudy is in on this with Kai’s group in some capacity, working together?
Melanie: I did not see that coming at all. It makes so much sense now. (Kent: Yeah, I didn’t see them being siblings. I’m not sure many people really did.)
Teddy: I fucking called this from a mile away xD. If he is psycho enough to come up with the parent cover up then he is def in on it. Also I’m pretty sure that he is giving Kai pills
Cece: Absolutely. I called it from way early on.
Kent: It makes the most sense, but in all fairness, it was something being discussed from the first episode, so this surprises nobody, but further solidifies the theory in people’s minds. At this point, the bigger twist would be that he’s actually a good guy.
Do you think that if Ryan Murphy hadn’t been so heavy handed with the politics in the season premiere, that perhaps more people would be watching this show at the moment?
Melanie: I think more people would enjoy the season.
Teddy: I don’t think so. People went in expecting way more politics (Remember it was “gonna” be called election night). I feel this show has politics in it but its only minute, such as the occasional jill stein reference or Chaz Bono’s MAGA hat. (Kent: As a person who loathes politics, I can say that you are glossing over a bunch of shit. It’s there, still, and it’s heavy handed.)
Cece: I think so, yeah. The show has definitely gotten much better over the past 2 weeks.
Kent: Ratings haven’t been kind. People aren’t as excited this season. Even the people that I talk to most about this show all seem to have a similar downtrodden way of speaking when the show is brought up. I think Ryan Murphy over thought it, received bad advice, or was forced by FX to do it that way. I don’t know who to blame, but it was a terrible decision. I can say that because we have had 2-3 decent episodes now, but is anybody really excited or jovial when discussing the show? Nope, still morose. (Teddy: I think Roanoke was what caused this not necessarily the politics in the show) To address Teddy, Roanoke caused a lot of bad shit that they have not recovered from, unfortunately.
If you could get to know one of the characters better, one that we have seen in the first 5 episodes, who would it be and why?
Melanie: I really want to know more about the lady drinking wine in the background. What kind is she drinking? Does she recommend it? (Kent: She recommends it, absolutely.)
Teddy: Winter. She is probably my favorite character so far. Well aside from not rolling up her sleeves in the tub diddle scene xD
Cece: I guess the answer would be Kai. I want to know more about what drove him to be the way that he is. I want to understand what he thinks and how he thinks.
Kent: Beverley Hope intrigues me as does Dr Rudy. I admit that Adina has a role that I am enjoying…finally. I am sure we will get more on Rudy. So my answer is Meadow because she is such a fascinating character to me.
Were you Kentertained by this week’s episode?
Melanie: Yes, but only because the previous episodes were shite!!
Teddy: I would say it’s picking up but I think last weeks episode did it more for me.
Cece: Yes. Absolutely. It’s picking up and I am enjoying the gore/horror elements better.
Kent: Every episode is better than the last in my opinion. Right now, things are going well, so yes, quite Kentertained.
At the end of this blog, there will be a TLDR version of what I wrote for your millennial reading pleasure.
This week gave us a lot of background info on the event that led up to the first 3 episodes. Narratively, I would suggest that it was the best episode so far. That’s still not saying much and this would have been the worst episode of season 1 comparatively, so lots of work to go. Meanwhile, I would like to thank Melanie, Cece, and Teddy for stopping by to offer their insight and humor me by answering my inane questions. I want to give a shout out to a former contributor who hasn’t shown her face all season, Kelly, who apparently was too busy, something to do with getting married and that being a higher priority than writing on this prestigious blog. Pfft, I don’t get it either. Anyway, congrats Kelly and Darrin and hopefully she will reappear so we can squabble like children. Finally, any comments in the blog in bold are from Kent unless otherwise noted..
Melanie took some time out of her schedule last weekend to discuss the first 3 episodes of this season with Kent on the Are You Not Kentertained podcast, so please give that a listen.
For the month of October, if you see this logo, click on it to go see the updated list of my 100 Horror Movies In October Marathon.
Do you feel that having this episode earlier in the season or at least parts of the episode earlier could have helped the narrative better, or was it best to have the first 3 episodes to establish what was happening?
Melanie: I think the first three episodes were intentionally unhelpful. I feel like this is nothing new for Ryan Murphy and nothing makes sense for a few episodes and then BAM! He hits you with all you need to know.
Teddy: I feel like the first few episodes are purely to make Ally seem crazy, and then build forward from there
Cece: I like how it has gone so far. We needed an intro in real time and now this episode has been great to show a back story into things!
Kent: This season needs all the help that it can get. Adding some of these elements earlier in the season would have helped develop characters better, or at least adding intrigue to them.
Was Chaz Bono’s part an homage to Saw or just over the top storytelling?
Melanie: Over the top. I couldn’t watch it.
Teddy: over the top to say the least.
Cece: I loved it. Not over the top. It was psychologically wonderful.
Kent: Over the top storytelling. How fucking absurd was this shit? How much did I enjoy it still? Significantly!
Does this mean that all of the clowns that we saw in the first 3 episodes were real? Does that change your outlook on those episodes in hindsight?
Melanie: They are real. It validated my feeling that Meadow was the small female dominatrix clown.
Teddy: the three clowns are real, and I’m pretty sure it’s kai, meadow, and harrison. Also shows that everyone is in on it.
Cece: I don’t think they were real necessarily. I mean, they’re there, yes, but I don’t think they were there when she was ‘seeing them’.
Kent: It appears that clowns were, in fact, having sex in the produce section. This somehow makes the season premiere all the worse to me. All of my theories are pretty much ruined, aside from the Joker and the gas. Next week they will probably ruin that one for me too. Thanks Ryan Murphy….dick. (Melanie: So, reading your answer I went back to the scene. The clown receiver was wearing a yellow thong-I think it is the silver haired cop. He looks like a bright yellow banana hammock fan.)
Emma Roberts returned to AHS only to promptly be killed. Was this a total waste of a great talent? Yes, I said great, deal with it.
Melanie: I was glad after she let her boss diddle her nipple like that. EWWW!
Teddy: oh man watching her get knifed must’ve been poetic for Evan peters lol, idk I dont think she is too great a talent so I’m not gonna miss her
Cece: Meh. I loved how they already killed her off! Her character was a slut with no talent.
Kent: Absolutely huge waste of star talent and beauty. She’s the hottest chick in the show so far, and probably will be for the season. I know it’s terrible for a straight white male to want eye candy in this day and age, but I still want something pretty to look at. I really enjoy her acting though if I am being honest. She’s great in the bitch role and would have done great in the world of wrestling.
The pussy grabbing video, funny or not funny?
Melanie: I chuckled a bit.
Teddy: it’s as annoying as the actual people who did it in real life, I did like that they “songified” it though.
Cece: Not funny. The fact that they auto tuned it was funny to make nod at today’s YouTube shit, but the actual dudes doing it so much. Stupid and annoying.
Kent: I laughed. It was annoying, gratuitous, and summed up the past few years of what society deems as cutting edge art.
Did this episode give you a deeper appreciation for Kai’s character?
Melanie: No, it just showed that he is a master manipulator.
Teddy: I mean the stuff he said in the episode made sense to me, which means that he is good at being a manson character. It does make view his character as a good one (better than roanoke EP for sure)
Cece: Not necessarily. He definitely is super smart and fucking charismatic. But, he is definitely a Charles Manson.
Kent: Absolutely. It’s easy to see why people would align themselves with him. He found the easiest targets and went to work. That’s how cults start, and despite what you would think after seeing this terrible season, thinking that it was AHS: Election or AHS: Down With The Clowns, no it’s actually AHS: Cult. This provides me with hope.
Who’s the better character: Harrison or Meadow?
Melanie: Harrison, one liners are my jam.
Teddy: Harrison, Meadow seemed only thirsty for dick while Harrison actually is a well defined character.
Cece: I like them both, to be honest. I feel for both of them. However, they’re obviously weak minded and Kai got them when they were down the most.
Kent: Harrison has been given more to work with, but I admit, I have a certain fondness for Meadow, and I have no idea why. I really don’t, but I look forward to her now. Her line about how she shouldn’t be allowed to vote just struck me as brilliant. It’s so nice to have some self awareness, and the reality, most people voting aren’t educated enough to make a good decision. I would guess that over 70% of the people voting wouldn’t pass the test.
So Ivy worked with Winter prior to being hired as the nanny. Are we going to find out that Ivy has played a more sinister role in what we have seen play out, or was this a one time thing?
Melanie: My first thought was that she is a clown and wants to put Ally in a psychiatric facility and be with Winter. Ladies who don’t roll up their sleeves really butters Ivy’s bread.
Teddy: at this point I feel like the only people not involved is Ally and the kid.
Cece: I believe Ivy, and every other single person we’ve really seen so far, will all be a part of the big picture. And all of this is coming down on Ally.
Kent: I hope they go balls out and have Ivy just be a big bad bitch. I would thoroughly enjoy this. I like seeing this. The more evil characters, the better.
Did this episode make you wonder how much of the season has been dedicated to simply mindfucking Ally?
Teddy: this episode is on intense therapy session aimed at getting Ally past all of her phobias. Starting to believe the whole “in her head” theory.
Cece: Yes. I believe like I mentioned above, that this whole season is going to be based on fucking with Ally’s head so damn bad.
Kent: It makes me wonder, how many people are actively trying to fuck with her, and did she do something more sinister in the past that deserves this much attention and terrorizing.
Is this the first season of AHS where they have started to say “fuck” and not have it censored?
Melanie: This much yes, but not the first season.
Teddy: FCC seems to be getting more lax for shows lately…I remember when you couldn’t even say bitch on TV without a beep lol
Cece: I don’t think so, actually. If I remember right, they did it in Roanoke too.
Kent: I think so, but I am not sure. I am just looking for confirmation. If you simply binged it on NetFlix, your response may not be accurate.
Who was the star of the episode for you?
Melanie: Anyone drinking wine in the background.
Teddy: Kai for sure…but dude can I just scrub the jacking off in the shower scene from my mind?
Cece: Kai. Duh. Evan Peters knows how to creep me out, yet turn me on at the same time. Talented boy, he is!
Kent: Chaz Bono in all of his greatness. Good for him! A lot of people stood out, even Adina Porter to an extent.
Were you Kentertained by this week’s episode?
Teddy: Waaaaaaaaaaaaay Better this week than all the other episodes combined
Cece: Yes, finally! A good episode. I hope it continues to go this way.
Kent: Yes….I finally liked an episode. Took way too long, but it finally happened.
All pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of the FX Network, Ryan Murphy, and whoever else is involved.
Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the last AHS blog of the year. Yes I know, it’s kinda sad. Not as sad as this season, but fairly sad. This is also our biggest blog to date because we figured that you needed something to remember us by. Whether you loved this season, thought it was adequate, or straight up hated it, I think that it is safe to assume that next season should be good because it’s an odd numbered season. As usual, I am joined by my for lady friends: Cece, Melanie, Stef, and Kelly. They have been here for a good portion of this season, and my heartfelt thanks goes out to all of them for making this a joy to do. Please enjoy and if you want to leave a comment, please do so in the comment section at the bottom of this blog. Anything written in bold font is from me.
Tell me your thoughts on the opening segment before the went to commercial. This includes the Paleyfest panel.
Cece: I thought the fans were fucking weird. Especially the chick who was obsessed with Lee. I knew it was gonna be the Polk dude who was shooting up the station. I’m tired of Lana Winters and Lee. (Lane is hopefully gone forever.)
Melanie: Well…Audrey thinks rather highly of herself. So weird to go back to them “living” after we watched them all “butchered”. Something I noticed, the FX in the corner of Lot Polk’s video, then they panned out it was a youtube…but the FX was in the corner of the youtube video. Well played, FX…well played. (Good catch. I have a picture of it later on.)
Stef: Simply, I think it was a total waste of time, and they could’ve used that time for making a better GD ending. (Are you implying that this wasn’t a good ending, and perhaps they could have spent 45 minutes to better develop characters and their history? HA! Never!)
Kelly: This entire scene made me want to turn it off immediately. But no, I had an obligation to this damn blog and here I am! It’s not like I’m surprised they threw this into the show – it has been horrible the whole time. I did however have a slight idea right at this moment that MAYBE season two of MRN was faked and we weren’t ever going to know about it. This scene led the finale off just how I expected – SHITTY. (Obligations to this damn blog kept me watching the past 3 episodes. I feel ya.)
Kent: What in the blue hell is that? That wig is fucking terrible. Audrey is as obnoxious as ever, and yet people wanted her to live. Seriously? I did love Agnes at the very least, but that drag queen is the sort of things that My Roanoke Nightmare is made up of. Fuck man, who did the makeup. I can’t help it, that is just the worst thing. “Uhmmm, what’s your favorite color?” Are you shitting me with this? And his response about the full spectrum…..for fuck’s sake man. It’s like, they are trying sooo hard to be terrible. I do love how Audrey looked sad about Rory hugging the dumb girl, and Dom being an attention whore himself. Bristol Windows, that’s the name. She was actually portrayed well because people really act this dumb. I did like the subtleties of Matt, Dom, and Shelby. Bristol’s commentary on turning something wonderful into something crass, yeah, you said it. At least Lot Polk looked handsome. Of course, I see the gun and can feel the social commentary just screaming out. Despite Denis O’Hare’s dapper ensemble, I hated this.
Did you like how they did the Crack’d segment?
Cece: No. I mean, it’s so cheesy. I hate shows like that normally.
Melanie: I did enjoy it. It was a spoof of the TV show Snapped, where they tell the story of ladies who go crazy and kill people (husbands, husbands and their mistresses, or anyone who looks at them funny. (Well, now I learned something new, like the name of a show that I can’t imagine that I will ever watch.)
Stef: I snickered. I enjoy the show “Snapped”, so I found this amusing. I thought it was a semi-clever way to show how it all went down with Lee after she escaped the house. (If it was a show that you didn’t watch or enjoy, would you find it clever?)
Kelly: I was so nervous at this point that all we were going to get for the finale was a reality television style of writing; a bunch of different little reality shows here and there with their take on the MRN show. This wasn’t the worst part by any means, it did dive into the trial with Lee which was pretty interesting. I love how they end up making it seem like Flora made it all up and let Lee go. Shocker. Can you taste my sarcasm? (Flora did make it all up. Fact.)
Kent: This just felt like a shitting Making A Murderer or any number of other shows that I do not watch, so there are probably better comparisons. Is this a fucking clip show? Lee’s lawyer was pleasant to look at. Gotta look at the positives, right? Under what logical circumstances would Lee ever be found not guilty given all of the overwhelming evidence? Even if you take away Flora’s testimony, there was legitimate evidence. This shit is straight up insulting. Also, Adore Me ads would be made better by seeing how well they fit, so that everybody would know if it’s something that a dude may want to buy for a special lady friend.
After the build up from last week’s preview, did the Lana Winters appearance go as you had hoped?
Cece: Exactly as expected. Boring and awkward. (I was sooo bored.)
Melanie: It did! I enjoyed how she tried to relate and deescalate a crazy in good old Lana Winter’s style.
Stef: Eh, I really had no expectations. I was more pissed about how/why they brought her on here looking like she was 60 at best, when she should be like 75-80 at this point. But that bitch took a hit! Surprisingly no bruises or anything… hmmmm. (Good point about no bruises. She’s old.)
Kelly: Okay so she definitely aged unlike the trailer suggested! So my theory from last week flew out the door. I think it was a bullshit interview, to say the least. Lana was a bitch. I’ve never been a fan of her character though. I did enjoy Lee stickin’ it to her with regards to what she did to her son in Asylum. It was pleasant having Lot bust in though and steal the show. I’m really getting tired of this Sarah Paulson gravy train they’re running. (I like gravy more so than the next guy, but yeah, Paulson needs to have a smaller role, like take a hit like Evan had to this season.)
Kent: Total waste of time just to bring Sarah Paulson back on my screen and to tie this season to Asylum. Absolutely unnecessary, and unbelievable that her 70 or 80 year old ass looks that good. Fucking terrible. Plus, the character sucked to begin with, if I may be so bold, which I shall be. Her character was actually a big reason why Asylum sucked. Let’s not put the old nostalgia shine on it. Her character was terrible, and this was terrible, and we should all feel terrible for having sat through this. At least Bloody Face got mentioned. I did enjoy how silly factor of Flora going missing. So dumb.
Considering everything we know about Lee, she was the star of the season. What did you think of her overall, and looking back, was she a good character to make the main focus?
Cece: I liked Lee at first. I was hoping she would pull through and be the last one standing. She pretty much was; except she started being crazy obsessed with seeing her kid. Then she murdered her ex-husband and killed lots of others off. She was downright shitty.
Melanie: I do think she was a good character. Being the breakout star, I wonder if she will be in future episodes. (If Ryan Murphy is kind, no she won’t. SO within a season or 2, probably.)
Stef: She was never my favorite, so no. Plus, the ending was just a ridiculous way for her to go out. smh
Kelly: Knowing that I was not a fan of this season, and though I was nervous with ‘new’ actors in the show, I think she did a fabulous job. I think she was the unsung hero, even through her dastardly ways. Kent, you predicted she would play a big part in this season and were totally right. Although I agree with your idea that Murphy has a “hard on for Paulson,” he did a really great job NOT making Sarah the absolute focal point of the season by the end of it. Hell, he even gave her one of the worst death scenes in AHS history. It was a nice change. (Thank you. You know, traditionally, the most beloved characters get the best, goriest deaths. But this season didn’t follow that tradition.)
Kent: I feel the need to point out that Adina Porter was consistently listed as “Guest Starring” yet ended up being the focal point. That’s amazing. To answer the question, who was often considered the least favorite person? Lee. In the second half, did she get better? Yeah, but not a great deal. Looking back at the iconic characters of the past seasons, aside from The Butcher and possibly Pig Head, this season was lacking. Still, Lee is far down on my list of interesting characters and I was ready for her to after the second episode. Sorry, but she was a shitty character, in my opinion.
A lot of you said that Lot would play a role in this finale, and you were right. Was it handled well?
Cece: Absolutely. The writing of his character’s revenge made sense. About the only good thing this episode. (Yeah, it made sense. One of the few bits of logical closure.)
Melanie: I think it was handled well and in typical Polk crazy creepy style. My favorite line…,”The world is watching you young man.” (Despite my disdain for her, it was a good line.)
Stef: I’m just glad he got capped. None of those inbred bastards needed to live. I was almost afraid he was going to kill Lana & Lee first though. (Would that have really been so bad if those dumb bitches got got first? Wouldn’t that have been better? Have you ever seen Wrong Turn? Deliverence? I Spit On Your Grave (classic not re-make)? Question mark?)
Kelly: I think they brought him in for a good scene. At first, it caught me off guard so it worked!
Kent: “She talks too much.” That was clearly the line of the episode. I don’t buy the fact that he had that particular style gun. Once again, it felt insulting. Would the Polks have them? We’re talking about mountain men, so shotguns or a hunting rifle makes more sense, preferably the shotgun.
How did you feel about the whole Spirit Chasers part of things? Were they just tossing as many different garbage style shows into the mix at the end or did this work for you?
Cece: It was pure garbage. I hate those stupid paranormal shows. I can’t stand it. It was pointless and I hated it. (Nodding in agreement.)
Melanie: Loved that shit! I ate it up!!! I knew it was coming and was so excited about it. I do love a good Ghost hunter type show. So much cheese! Also…we got a couple bad asses over here, lol.
Stef: Definitely garbage. Stupidity beyond all beliefs. WHY would ANYONE go back there during the blood moon?? Plus, the acting was terrible. (Stop bringing up logical points. This is horror damnit!)
Kelly: Tying back into my answer for #2, I did worry we were just getting stupid reality style scenes the whole finale. This was exactly as you describe it, garbage. I don’t have many thoughts on it as I believe the majority of us will feel the same. It was a careless way to take up ten minutes of the finale. This whole season was just cut and paste stupidity. (Laughing and nodding in agreement.)
Kent: Well, at the risk of insulting my colleagues or readers, I think that this style of show is on the same level as the Kardashians. I seriously think that it is absolute filth, and people should be ashamed of watching this fake shit. What is the point? Then, they film themselves breaking through the gate, and then had a guest star. So which is it? You don’t invite a guest celebrity to come and break into a place that you don’t have permission to enter. Where the fuck is the logic??? It makes no fucking sense!!! You wouldn’t film that to air on TV, and possibly expect people to believe it. Well, at least they have Emma Bell. I may be intrigued, only because of her. Wait, they are telling us that there was trauma there, I think where Dom got killed. Once again, it was filmed, they’ve seen the footage. Why state the obvious? I fucking hate this god damn episode. “I almost peed my pants” is a funny line as she does that in a film called Frozen, no not the Disney fuckery, but rather a horror flick. Why did it take Lee 2 weeks to come back to the most likely hiding spot for Flora? And who the fuck thought was a good idea to come back to a place with numerous confirmed murders during the blood moon? Pig Head showing up was welcome, plus Ashley screaming Croatoan made me giggle. Yes, go Chen’s! It’s kind of bullshit that they didn’t give the nurses a kill. Haha, the Butcher strikes. Why the hell are the arrows the weapon of choice? How dumb are those fucking cops?
Was the final segment, from the news reports to the final frame, a good way to wrap up this particular season?
Cece: I mean, I guess. I don’t see where else they could have necessarily gone with it. I’m just disappointed in this season.
Stef: Hated it. None of it made much sense to me.
Kelly: Do you want to know what a good way to wrap up this finale would be? Crumple it up, throw it in the trash, and forget it every happened. Yes, I’m bitter about this one. (Doing my best Palpatine voice “Gooood gooooood”)
Kent: I was happy to see Denis O’Hare made it in the last segment, as William Van Henderson. More Lana, oh the joy I feel. Am I wrong in saying that Lee should have immediately alerted the cops that Flora was in there? Hell, she got away with murders, so she seems fairly untouchable. I did enjoy Lee’s thing about drawings and parenting. I do love how Lee is so fucked up, being a shitty parent, but thinking that she can be a better parent to Priscilla. Think about that logic. Then it ends with settlers and their torches approaching the cops on the blood moon. And it ends, so abruptly. Like, could they not have given us a massacre at the end? No, this was shit. Flora somehow just walked away from an exploding house totally unscathed.
Was Flora being selfish, manipulative, or perhaps put up to doing what she did, in regards to Lee?
Cece: I think Flora was justified. Her mother is a piece of shit.
Melanie: I think maybe she gained some cra cra from her Mama! (The cra cra is strong within this one. I actually think older Flora will be on a later season.)
Stef: I think she was mostly being a little wretch. However, I do think she was being manipulated by Priscilla, and she HAD seen her mother beat her father to death with a rock. That’s gotta do something to a kid. (But Lee wasn’t guilty. Flora made it up. C’mon, weren’t you paying attention?)
Kelly: I was surprised at how Lee’s demise panned out. I am quite confused on the motives of Flora in doing what she did. I assume since her parents weren’t really there for her for a while, she found comfort in Priscilla like a sister. They both were lonely, “lost” children. I don’t know if she was “put up” to it really. I think most of all she just was unstable mentally with the loss of her parents, one to death and one to the media/law enforcement. (I think the fact that she had gone through so much and then was put in the spotlight from everything, it definitely played a role.)
Kent: I’m going with manipulative, but am probably over thinking this one. I think that she wanted to be rid of her mom after the Mason kill, and when Lee didn’t go to prison, Flora knew her back up plan. We’ll go with that. Also, did anybody else notice how similar that Priscilla looked to Gaga’s character when she was alive?
Priscilla finally had her big role that I had longed for. Do you feel satisfied with Priscilla’s story arc?
Cece: I was actually very confused by it. Is she the Druid chick? (I can’t determine if it was intentional to make them look so similar. It was apparent at the very least.)
Melanie: Nope! Still don’t know who she was.
Stef: There was no story! Again, could’ve wasted less time in the beginning, and spent more time on important things such as this. (Hell yeah!)
Kelly: Though I wasn’t invested in her the way you were Kent, I definitely don’t think she got her moment to shine that you were so longingly looking forward to. Her backstory wasn’t really explained well, if at all. I peeked at your answer, and I think you have a great idea there about Thomasin’s husband being her father. I assumed the Butcher had a problem with the nurses because my bets were on her husband having an affair. That’s what assumptions I’ve collected myself as to why the Butcher is bitter and dislikes certain characters. I think her husband was a cheater. (It really is the only reasonable thing to ascertain from this. I have a feeling that there are more answers in deleted scenes, or at least I hope. As a matter of fact, I think this is going to be a big marketing thing.)
Kent: NO NO NO NO NO NOOO! Are you kidding me? We still don’t know who her mom or dad were. I think the safest assumption is that Thomasin’s husband had an affair and knocked up a bitch. Otherwise, why hate the girl so much? As the writer, you need to fill in these blanks. You need to tell us why the Chen’s are how they are. So, while I was thrilled to see more Priscilla, it left me terribly unsatisfied. I was not Kentertained.
Bonus Deuce Cubed (Math is fun)
Who was your favorite and LEEast character from this season? Feel free to elaborate?
Cece: Favorite was probably Rory/Edward Mott. Call me cliche, but I love Evan Peters and his two characters were fun. Least was probably Audrey and Lee.
Melanie: I see what you did there! Favorite- Hmmmm…so tough…I think both Evan Peter’s characters. Least- Leslie Jordan, both characters. He is just creepy as fuck.
Stef: I enjoyed Cricket – I love mediums, and I have a sweet spot for gay men. Real life Lee was really probably my LEEAst favorite. ugh
Kelly: Evan Peters as Rory was ridiculous. I didn’t enjoy Cuba in his ‘big hot actor’ form either, but the one that first came to mind was Rory and Audrey – together, separate, whatever. They both sucked. As for my favorite, it very well could have been Kathy had she had a bigger part after MRN. They wrote her off pretty quickly. Even Gaga didn’t get to shine. It feels like they threw everyone away this time around. (That was a big issue. Nobody got to shine. You need to have a few bigger roles every season, even if they aren’t great.)
Kent: Pig Head, Butcher, Cunningham, Cricket, and Dom as favorites. LEEast favorite is Audrey, real life Mama Polk, Real Life Matt, Lee, and the thing with the wig on the season finale. Also, props to the Uber Driver. Gay for pay!!!
What story arc or subplot was your favorite from this season?
Cece: Honestly I don’t really have one. I mean, maybe Cunningham’s plight.
Melanie: I really liked the last episode for the Crack’d and Spirit Chasers sub plots. Both those type of shows are my secret pleasure tv shows. Also, the first episodes, paranormal documentaries are my jam!!!!
Stef: The back story on the witch was pretty good, and the first real massacre of the second half of the season was pretty outstanding.
Kelly: I enjoyed the nurses. I wanted more of them to reminisce a Murder House style. But alas, my dreams were crushed.
Kent: I really liked episode 4 where we actually had a story and some character development. The nurses is probably my favorite story because they told so many details and took care of them, and then gave them all of one kill. I really enjoyed The Witch’s past story, and how Thomasin became The Butcher.
Who’s death was the best or most satisfying from this season?
Cece: I loved Agnes’ death.
Melanie: Uhm…I think the nurses. The bad guys killing the badder guys is kind of their MO…and I love it!
Stef: Well, though we can’t be positive whether he was under some sort of trance or not, I’m gonna go with Shelby snapping and beating Matt to a bloody pulp. It came as a complete surprise, I think making it one of the best.
Kelly: Kathy got a good death being that she was so happy to have the real Butcher be the reason of her demise. Reminds me of how happy the Laundress was in Hotel when JPM offed her before the cops busted in.
Kent: Agnes’ based on the brutality and meaning behind it, the original Pig Head, and probably Cricket’s. Most satisfying death belongs to Audrey, because it was dumb and she was so dumb.
Out of the six seasons, where does this one rank?
Cece: I think this was my least favorite, unfortunately.
Melanie: In the middle for me I think.
Stef: I would say it’s 4th in my book – beating Asylum & Freak Show. Incase you haven’t figured it out by now, Freak Show will always be bottom of the barrel for me. I don’t know how it could possibly get much worse than that.
Kelly: LAST. I started to rewatch Freak Show after this finale so I could retouch on how I felt about it. I still think there are better storylines in Freak Show and even Asylum than Roanoke. I just – I have no words honestly. It was so bad. (I re-watched the Freak Finale, and I stand by it being the worst, but I can totally see both sides of this one.)
Kent: 5th tentatively, only above Freak Show. This season, the first 75% was fairly watchable and I enjoyed it. There were so many boring or shit episodes of Freak Show, well over half of them sucked big floppy donkey dick.
Looking ahead to next season, what would be your theme or premise, or horror aspects that you may want to see play out?
Cece: I’d honestly like maybe an anthology type season. Maybe I’m using the incorrect verbiage but what I mean is, like they hinted before this season. I’d like to see each episode play a different story. For example, say, one episode does a horror lore story such as Children of the Corn or something we grew up watching. The next episode does sort of a Creepypasta story like Slenderman and so on. Through an entire season. This way they can tell many stories, and also bring in new actors to AHS, and also recycle our favorite actors into new stories and characters!
Melanie: I would love for them to do like. Frankenstein theme.
Stef: Oh dear… I couldn’t even begin to wager a guess. This is why I don’t write movies.
Kelly: Can we please just go back to the writing styles of the earlier seasons? I had such high hopes and was pretty scared based on a few of the teaser trailers for season 6, but it just let me down worse than I ever imagined possible. I can’t predict a theme yet for the next season. Give me a few months.
Kent: I call it “The Will”. I have wrote half of the story already, but am not finished. Busy week. When it is ready, I will put it here on the blog for your reading pleasure. I’m not saying that it’s great, but it would follow the AHS formula and be better than this season at the very least. As for what the should do, I could absolutely go for a flu epidemic that isn’t zombie related, but show the real dark underbelly of civilization crumbling.
Are there any actors who you would like to see get a starring role, or any characters that you wouldn’t mind seeing fall back to more of a middle or supporting character? You can choose from anybody in the AHS history.
Cece: Always Denis O’Hare, but I’d like to see more Gabby Sidibe again, or Wes Bentley. It would be cool to always have more screen time for Evan too. Less Sarah. I’d like to see her have a smaller role next season. Also Finn. He’s great. I wanna see more of him.
Melanie: GAGA! I would love to see her be a Dr. Frankenstein/creator type character.
Stef: I would absolutely LOVE to see some of the actors/actresses lost along the way come back, and I don’t even care how big or small their parts… Dylan McDermott, Connie Britton, ADAM LEVINE *wink wink*, and most definitely Jessica Lange. I’d like to see Gaga come back as more of a starring role… or even Dennis O’Hare.
Kelly: Evan Peters, Frances Conroy, Denis O’Hare would all be great for big roles. Evan has come a LONG way since Tate and I still loved him as Tate. He’s a classic. But he has truly had a great metamorphosis as an actor. I’d like to see Sarah Paulson and even Lily Rabe take a back seat.
Kent: Denis O’Hare, Frances Conroy, Danny Huston, Taissa Farmiga, Kathy Bates (She’s the best so far, no offense to Lange), Andre Holland, Dylan McDermott, Zachary Quinto, Mare Winningham, Wes Bentley, Finn Whitrock, John Carroll Lynch, Alexandria Breckenridge, and Evan Peters. People who can go to the back of the line are Sarah Paulson, Adina Porter, and maybe Angela Bassett. I love Angela, but I would really like to see her have a really big role some season, and it may come with sacrificing a season. But seriously, Sarah, you can take the season off, you will not be missed.
If you could add one actor who is not an AHS alumni, who would you choose and why?
Cece: I’d kill to see Michael C. Hall. Also maybe Matthew Morrison from Glee.
Melanie: I would love to see David Duchovny in a role.
Stef: Hmmmm, it’s a big name and I don’t know how they’d get him there, but Jack Nicholson always plays an amazing f’d up part. I think he could be a phenomenal addition if casted in the right role.
Kelly: James Spader or Kevin Spacey for shits and giggles. Let’s change it up, man.
Kent: Robert Englund, Tobin Bell, Matthew Lilard, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Dee Wallace, Sid Haig, or Jeremy Sisto.
Finally, give us your parting thoughts and say whatever else you feel the need to say because we’re gone for 9 months.
Cece: I hope they go out with a bang for season 7. This one really irked me. Also, it’s been real.
Melanie: Thanks for the opportunity Kent!!! Can’t wait for next season.
Stef: I’ll just end up anxiously awaiting the next season, hoping for it to “WOW” and bedazzle me the way Murder House did. I guess it’s like a relationship for me – in the beginning it’s all new and amazing and exciting, then it starts to lose it’s luster, and at times it’s really great again, and you know it’ll never quite be the same as it was in the beginning, but you just keep faithfully hanging in there, waiting for some more good stuff.
Kelly: Murphy, step it the fuck up or you’re going to be losing a ton of viewers.
Kent: While I didn’t like how the last 25% played out, and basically tarnished this season for me, I’m going to miss it because I love horror, and I like seeing familiar faces. I don’t ever want to see “reality based” shows on AHS again because they are all contrived bullshit from my perspective. I know that they are some people’s guilty pleasures, and some people just love the stuff because they do, and that is why E!, TMZ, and other such stuff is so popular. It makes me sad. But with that being said, it was provided this blog with a great deal of varying perspectives, and that is what I was hoping for when I started this. So while I may have great disdain for many things, it hopefully has made reading this more pleasant. Maybe you found yourself agreeing more often with somebody and read their answers more closely, and if so, that’s fucking fantastic. If you think I am a horrible human being but found value in what one or several of the ladies said, then that’s awesome. We are obviously all built differently, and some of us tan better than others or have better hairlines, but I think that we all had fun, most of the time at least. These girls have given me plenty of things to consider and it actually helped me understand this season a little bit better. All in all, I had fun with this. This was an extension of what I had been doing the past couple of years. Kelly and I started talking AHS way back in season 3 and talk about pretty much every episode. It seems like every week, I get at least one article from her during the season about rumors or speculation. Stefanie and , we started talking about it maybe back during Freak Show. Stef has proved to me that she could potentially work well with me in an apocalyptic situation. Cece and I have had many a conversations, a lot about Evan Peters and just in general about why I loved or hated a season and same for her. Her and I may not fare so well in an apocalypse, haha. Melanie is really the only person that I didn’t have an AHS past with, so it’s been nice getting her input. I had fun doing a couple of podcasts with her and hopefully we can do them more regularly next season. I gotta thank my buddy Tom who helped during the first half of the season before he fell behind.
Thank you for reading, contributing, or just having a nice chat with me about AHS. I appreciate it. To the ladies, thank you for taking time out of your schedule to help me do this thing. Have yourself some happy holidays. It’s time to prep for LingFest, which is infinitely cooler than Paleyfest.
All pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of the FX Network, Ryan Murphy, and whoever else is involved.
Hello ladies and gentlemen. I would like to welcome you to the only AHS blog that asks the 9 Deuce. I am your Negative Nancy of a host, Kent, and I am joined by my 4 lovely contributors, Melanie, Cece, Kelly, and Stefanie. They all say hi. So here’s how this goes. I ask 11 questions, and the ladies and I answer them. They tend to have a more positive perspective, while I am typically the pessimistic prick. We share a common goal in enjoying this show and we all want the best damn show that this can be. So whether you are enjoying or loathing this season, there will most likely be a perspective that you find yourself agreeing with. With all of that out of the way, let’s talk about Chapter 9.
Are you happy that Lee ended up as the survivor?
Melanie: I predicted it, so yup I am pretty pleased with myself.
Cece: I’m happy that my first prediction was right. However, I’m not satisfied with her ever since her confession. I don’t think she deserved to live.
Kelly: I’m not surprised; there was a good chance she and/or the real Shelby would make it through.
Stef: Though she was my original prediction, no. She turned out to be someone more rotten than I thought she was. And considering even after being axed, and thrown down into a basement, Audrey managed to survive, only to be gunned down in a heartbeat. Annoying. (Kent: In all fairness, Audrey shouldn’t have lasted that long, under almost any normal circumstances.)
Kent: Are you asking me if I am happy that the LEEast interesting character survived, ha, hell no. She killed one of the most likable characters in Mason.
Who did you want to be the final victim out of Audrey, Monet, the remaining Polks, and Dylan?
Melanie: Polks, so gross. I was pulling for Dylan being a veteran and all. (Kent: I found myself pulling for Dylan, but then remembered what season we were in. I couldn’t call a bookie fast enough to take my money that he would be the next to die.)
Cece: Audrey; which, she was.
Kelly: My first desire a few episodes ago was Sidney, but since that ship has sailed, I would have taken Monet out of those four options. (Kent: Yeah, they absolutely dropped the ball with Sidney.)
Stef: Well all I really wanted was see ALL of the Polks die, but it appears as though one managed to get away. ugh And the fact that a highly military trained man didn’t make it as long as the girls was a little disheartening. (Kent: Hmmmm, it’s almost like Ryan Murphy is sexist, isn’t it? Trained military dude or dumb bitches, and the dumb bitches survive. LOGIC!!!!)
Kent: Monet, so we could have had Lee vs Lee. Basically, I would have been happy with anybody that wasn’t Audrey, but……fuck man.
Did you find the shaky cam/go pro camera stuff in the beginning to work for this season, or do you just hate shaky cam?
Melanie: I like the shaky cam in AHS as they actually let you see what is going on. I HATE shaky camera angle when you can’t see shit. (Kent: Yeah, when you can’t see what you want, it causes issues as well, I agree. It’s lazy filming. Trust me, I’ve resorted to it before.)
Cece: I think it worked with the story pretty well, but I am anal about shaky filming because it bugs me. (Kent: It’s downright irritating, so I’m with ya on this.)
Kelly: It’s not my style so I could have gone without it.
Stef: I usually really hate shaky cam because very often it will almost make me nauseous, but this time it didn’t seem to bother me much.
Kent: I usually really hate shaky cam…..and this is no different. There’s no need for it, ever, unless you are watching COPS. To present a story properly, we should have a clear view of what is happening from whatever perspective it is. Then lazy fucks thought to use it, and keep using it, and it’s just a terrible cliché in horror now.
Did you like how Audrey’s final scene played out?
Melanie: I spent the whole time wondering if it was all a sham and she was still possessed, so yes.
Cece: No. I wish she could have gotten away too.
Kelly: Hell no! The woman had been through hell, at the hands of Lee even, and THAT’S how she died? Pathetic writing. (Kent: I concur with your last 2 words. She deserved it.)
Stef: NO! I thought that was bullshit. She was shot down by SEVERAL police, immediately. Wishing she had gotten in a terminating shot at Lee so at least her death wouldn’t have been in vain.
Kent: No. She got cleaved by the collarbone, yet the cops just lift her up by the arms, and no real huge signs of pain. Way to sell your injury! Way to write something that makes no sense. The cops would have seen this injury and helped her in a different way. But boy, did I love seeing that bitch soak up bullets like a sponge. Best part of the whole episode! I had hoped that they wouldn’t find Audrey until she had starved to death, but you can’t always get what you want, like a good finish to what had been a good season. I have no idea what my friends here see in Audrey’s character, BUT this is why the blog exists to get various viewpoints, no matter how many times I shake my head adamantly, and then get a headache. Every single week, haha.
Are you excited to see Lana Winters next week?
Melanie: Yessss!!! I can’t wait.
Kelly: As you know from our personal discussions as well as my opinions so far during this blog, this isn’t my favorite season. In fact, I enjoyed Asylum AND Freak Show more than this. So seeing Lana Winters next week isn’t specifically going to make me jump for joy. What will make me jump for joy is the fact that this hogwash is over. (Kent: It’s weird, because I really liked the first 75% of this season, but under the guise that they would tie up loose ends. With that appearing to be unlikely, I may be forced to say that this is worse than Asylum, but probably still better than Freak Show. Rest assured, next week I’m going to irritate all of you with ranking all six seasons and I can see the eye rolling now.
Stef: I will admit my first reaction was total surprise when they showed next week’s preview, however my thoughts instantly switched to the next question… (Kent……nodding my head)
Kent: For about 5 seconds, yes. Then reality hit me, and she was from Asylum, which sucked in my opinion, especially her character, and nostalgia got pushed aside for logic. Why does middle Lana look worse than older Lana? Is she gonna kill Lee? Just a thought, get vengeance for her doppelganger.
Do you see any issue with a character from Asylum in 1964 appearing in 2016, played by the same person?
Melanie: No and she has aged so well, lol. (Kent: Yeah, ain’t that some shit, right? She looks younger now than she did then.)
Cece: It doesn’t work so well with timelines and continuity…. (Kent: How dare you question the great and powerful Oz…I mean Murphy! Lana met Lady Gaga, who introduced her to a witch, played by Lady Gaga, and that is how the timeline works out so incredibly well!)
Kelly: Nothing surprises me about characters in this series because people come back from other eras. She could be dead for all we know which would explain her youth after all these years later. And maybe, if she did die, she didn’t die in a murderous house or hotel and can roam freely. We don’t know yet. (Kent: Woah woah woah, put down Pandora’s Box and do not open it. This could get ugly fast. What if All characters played by Sarah Paulson joined all of Jessica Lange’s character and sang The Name Game? Come on, you’d watch the hell out of that and it would be a guilty pleasure, like midget films.)
Stef: The whole timing thing irks me. They need to pay more attention to details like this. As cool as the whole tie-in could potentially be, they need to get their shit together in terms of making things more realistic. And if they wanted to bring Sarah in as Lana Winters at all during the season, maybe Audrey should’ve been played by someone else. (Kent: I think just using a different actress for older Lana, or have her daughter ask the questions, or just bring in Adam Levine because this season is just pandering at this point.)
Kent: Is Ryan Murphy even trying anymore? Does anybody else stop him and get in his ear and say: “Listen Ryan, we know that you have a raging clue for Sarah, and you show that by ramming her down the audience’s throat season after season, but for one episode, maybe we should get an actress that is in her 70’s or 80’s.” To which Ryan Murphy would then suggest that he’s got a fever and the only cure is more man ass!
Is it time to give us a break from Sarah Paulson, or do you want to see her as much as you can every season?
Melanie: I love her, so I do enjoy seeing her. I am VERY happy to not listen to that accent. (Kent: it really is the worst accent that I have heard in quite some time.)
Cece: I love Sarah Paulson, but I haven’t loved her characters in the even seasons. (Kent: I 100% agree with that, although I think she did a great job as Dot and Bette, but I disliked them.)
Kelly: I’d rather see her in a better role, such as Sally or Dot/Bette. (Kent: Hopefully Sally and Lana can shoot up before the interview. I’d be so pumped.)
Stef: I don’t mind her, honestly. I really couldn’t care either way.
Kent: Yeah, yes, si, oui, hell yes! Her character was great in Hotel because we didn’t have to see her every 3 minutes, and her talent shined in smaller doses.
Is Ryan Murphy sexist?
Melanie: Against men maybe…
Cece: I don’t think so.
Kelly: I don’t think so.
Stef: Kent, you’re just pissed that a dude didn’t survive. lol (Kent: While I totally agree with you, I am adamantly pissed about this horrible horror cliche, if you do read my tirade directly below, you will see that I have made a legitimate argument. Whether you agree with it or not, that’s entirely your prerogative. Really though, Dylan is an experienced military man and lasted like 1/200th the time that Audrey did? Really?)
Kent: No, he still loves dat man ass! Seriously, he has stopped giving great roles to men, which is a major hit to the overall character development. If you want to do this, just go to E! or Lifetime. I want to state that he did great in the first 2 seasons. Both men and females were featured very equally, and both sexes had roles in which they were allowed to be stars. Then Coven happened, and Aside from Axe Man, the male characters weren’t great in that season, but it was about witches, and that was fine, it made sense. But they lost Quinto, McDermott Cromwell, and Joseph Fiennes with Kathy Bates and Angela Bassett. He even managed to make Evan Peters awful. Still, it made sense to a degree for that particular season, so I give him a pass. Well, Freak Show comes along, and Evan is somehow shittier, a big percentage of the males are gay, Twisty is killed off too soon, and you are left with Dandy and Neil Patrick Harris’ characters, which is fine, but once again, most of the good roles are given to females. Being gay doesn’t mean that it’s a good role, as there are shitty gay roles. Season 5, they tried to bring things back. They developed a great male character is Liz, Evan had his best season, Wes Bentley was suddenly interesting, and…..well that was it, but that was an improvement. Still dominated by far more females, BUT at least 3 big male roles were awesome. Then this season. Aside from short roles from Cricket, Dr. Cunningham, and Sidney, where the fuck were the good male characters? The character of Matt sucked, and Dom was solid, but another short role. Pig Head had the best male role, which is saying loads for this terrible season. So 3 out of the past 4 seasons have been incredibly unbalanced while the other 3 were simply balanced, not male dominated, just balanced. I’m not making this stuff up, and I have presented my case. Murphy needs to get his head out of his dick and make AHS great moving forward. He knows how to. Can we get some hot lesbian action with nudity next season? I mean, we can show asses and we are supporters of the gay community, so let’s see some of that!!!! One of them can be Asian, that would add diversity. Let’s get these girls represented on screen Mr Murphy, unless you hate lesbians.
Do you think that the remaining, living Polk will play a role in the finale?
Melanie: The kids maybe, but not that dude or he will present himself as a changed person to get his kids back.
Cece: Maybe so. It would be cool.
Kelly: Yes I do. He could have died that last episode, but they let him go so he’s got to have some significance.
Stef: The thought has crossed my mind… maybe he’ll see Lee on t.v. and try to hunt that bitch down.
Kent: He should, BUT this season has been about huge, wasted opportunities. This isn’t even a huge opportunity. I will go with no. If you can’t find time to explain the various things that I will be bitching about 2 questions from now, then don’t tell me you have time on a wasted character. I like everything that the ladies above me suggested and I would happily steal from their ideas and claim that they were mine originally, but I don’t think it’s happening.
We have one more episode left, and we’ve seen the preview. Realistically, is there any way that we see Jessica Lange this season?
Cece: I don’t think so. But it is possible.
Kelly: I find it unlikely, but as always, I hold hope for next season.
Stef: Oh my gosh, I’m still hoping she’ll pop in there… even just for a few minutes.
Kent: If I say no now, it will make it look like I don’t know what hell I am talking about, but you know, I told you that Lee murdered Mason, I told you that Lee would be a far more sinister character than anticipated, and I told you that Lange and Taissa would be on this season. So yeah, we will get Lange. If I am wrong, I totally expect to get made fun of, and look forward to it.
Is there any unfinished business in your opinion, where you feel like you were left hanging, and with only one episode left, you are fearing that you won’t get closure on something?
Melanie: Is Lee still possessed? Will she be charged for anyone’s murder? Will they use any of the footage? (Kent: Technically she would have to be charged. We are seeing this found footage, and is being aired. So there’s no covering that up really, well there shouldn’t be, but I am dying for the inane technicality. Whether she is still possessed is a good question as I am curious if you have to be within for many feet to remain possessed. If not, why aren’t there more whackos out there?)
Cece: Somewhat. I was hoping for more character development this season, which didn’t happen much, due to people dying so quickly. (Kent: Character Development? What the hell is that? We’re doing a horror show where we have Taiwanese people crawling on the ceilings for no reason! And you love it!)
Kelly: Priscilla and Flora for sure as well as Dr. Cunningham. Oh, and the nurses too. I wish we had seen more of them. (Kent: Sigh……everything you just said…..sigh. That’s how they use the great Dennis O’Hare?)
Stef: Not really sure… I don’t think so. However, we never did get anymore back story about your girl Priscilla. (Kent: Priscilla went on to take over as the Supreme after Gaga wanted to go into semi-retirement. She also hates evil whores like her idol, the Butcher. But really, they couldn’t give us the final piece to her puzzle in something that could have taken as little as 30 seconds? I need to see Sarah Paulson and her fucking accent more instead of things that would have developed characters and told a richer story._
Kent: Oh gee, what a handsome question. Yeah, how about character development for one? How about who Priscilla’s father is? How about, why the hell are the Chen’s a bunch of creepy ceiling crawlers? Why is the one nurse an evil whore? Why was Dylan the first guy to check on the place? Why did we just waste Dr. Cunningham so quickly? Is anybody 100% with Pig Head’s overall story, or would you like to know why he did what he did? Oh, this last episode may touch on one of these topics if I’m lucky and then I will be left with a bunch of unanswered questions. That’s awesome. That’s really good, talented writing right there. But please, give me more Sarah Paulson because we have barely seen her this season.
On a personal note, I hate to admit this, but I have checked out of this season, but I am 90% through, so of course I am going to trudge through. I really hope that this last episode is amazing, and it would bring me great joy. I am cheering this show on. With that being said, I am a realist, and they supplied us with a solid first ¾ of a season and then it appears that they have flipped us off. I’m hoping for the best and expecting the worst, and I hate that feeling because this show is so good when it clicks together. When it doesn’t, it becomes the aspects of horror that I loathe. As a horror fan, this season is doing what so many bad horror films do. As of right now, I am not Kentertained!!! I’d rather watch Nightmare on Elm Street 2, the bad one, than to sit through more shitty episodes. So please, give your fans a great final episode. No, you know what, screw that. Give fans like me, who have proven to be loyal to a fault, an episode that makes me say that this ended up great. Make this cynic a believer again. From my perspective, you have won over my colleagues to various degrees. Now win over your legit horror fans who have sat through cliche after cliche waiting for that moment when it’s awesome. Also, anybody else remember those teasers before the season? We need to talk about those next week.
Thank you to Melanie, Cece, Kelly, Stef, and Russell Crowe. Without all of you, none of this would be possible.
All pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of the FX Network, Ryan Murphy, and whoever else is involved.
Welcome ladies and….well probably just ladies, to the only AHS blog where people are asked copious amounts of questions, and we answer them. I’d like to proudly introduce my special lady friends who helped me out with this blog: Melanie, Cece, Kelly, and Stefanie. Glad to have you all back.
Well, this is an episode that we need to discuss. I think that this is the first time that I have heard the term twat used on cable TV. I have so many things to say, and rest assured, my girls here do too. Just know this, if you loved the episode, you are not alone. If you loathed this episode, you are not alone. I want to just discuss some things and get some varied opinions, which I guarantee. I talked with a few of the ladies during the show, and it seems like I am in the minority, but with this blog, as the only person with a penis, and the smoothest legs, I end up being the minority. This week, I wasn’t satisfied with just the typical 9 Deuce setup so that’s why we are giving you the 9 Deuce Deuce. Enjoy.
On a personal note, i downloaded a bunch of Stone Cold Steve Austin GIF’s to help describe things.
Ryan Murphy claimed that Jether Polk was “The most fucked up character of all time.” How do you feel about that proclamation after seeing this character this week?
Melanie: Fucked up meaning sad…no way. Fucked up meaning disgusting…not even close.
Cece: First off, from what I understand, Murphy said that this was specifically Finn Witrock’s most fucked up character. I don’t think he meant in general. But, I still don’t think I agree with that statement. Dandy Mott was a little shit and I loved to hate him. Maybe there’s more behind ol’ Jether toward the end? (Kent: Well, every source I have read suggests exactly what was written. Ryan Murphy wish he had this quote back because it was an out and out lie to hype up the show. Do a search for “ryan murphy most fucked up character” and you will find plenty of articles. I’ll provide links.)
Kelly: I don’t think he is! I actually felt bad for him. I liked the dynamic between Lee and Jether as they got to know each other. I’m sad he couldn’t be saved honestly because it seemed like he was out of place in the Polk family and could potentially be a functioning human being if he got away and got the right therapy/treatment.
Stef: Just like good ol’ “Crusty the clown” in Freak Show, I definitely wouldn’t go claiming he was the most ANYTHING sort of character. Fucked up & inbred, yes, but don’t hype it all up for us to be let down like that. (I’m glad I didn’t see/hear that statement before I watched the episode. I think they should just not make claims, and let us watch & decide.)
Kent: Are you fucking kidding me? This is a joke, right? I feel that we have seen 5-10 more fucked up characters in some sense throughout the franchise. Even Finn played one in Freak Show. This was strictly false hype to try to get viewers. Even if Jether makes more appearances, the bar is set so high that he would really have to push some limits. Are they truly copying TWD with bad hype mechanisms? TWD did the false Glenn death, the Daryl kill, and then the cliffhanger. SHAME!
We now know more about Pig Head. We know that he was Kinkaid Polk. We know the time frame that he was alive. Was he the same guy that Shelby saw in the woods in episode 2? If so, what the hell did he do? Give me some theories here if you have any because we still don’t have the full story.
Melanie: Ma Polk (shudder) and the youngest Polk (even bigger shudder) mentioned that Kinkaid Polk copied what the butcher did to her victims by putting a pig head on them before roasting them. That is what Shelby saw in the woods, one of The Butcher’s victims. (Kent: Well done!)
Cece: I honestly have no idea on what’s going on with him. I’m sure it was probably the same guy, but I barely remember the exact scene you’re referring to.
Kelly: I sadly can’t contribute to this question as I dont have a good answer about his character.
Stef: You mean the one Shelby saw in the woods over the fire?? I would say that was NOT Kinkaid, because didn’t the Polks say that the butcher stuffed a pig head on a man and roasted him to sort of pay homage to Kinkaid?? Or did I hear that all wrong?? (Kent: No, you’re right as well. I’m an idiot with zero short term memory.)
Kent: While I concur with what Melanie said and can’t say it any better, I will offer my wacky theory that Shelby made up what she saw in the woods based on information that was provided to her prior to filming. Let’s face it, all of these shows that the first half parodied are mostly a bunch of bullshit, so why wouldn’t this be the same? It’s just sensationalized.
Do you feel that they have left out important info on the Chen family?
Melanie: That they were apparently a family of gymnasts. (Kent: I laughed.)
Cece: This is also possible. I feel like they overlooked their story and just threw it in there quickly to add to Denis O’Hare’s stories. (Kent: I agree with that. Unfortunately, if that was the case and you needed more stories for Denis, which is the right decision, he could have told the story of the OG Pig Head or even about Kincaid. They could have left out the Chen’s as they haven’t really done anything. At least the nurses and Pig Head have kills.)
Kelly: They are a part of the season I forgot about… HAPPILY forgot about. I can’t even watch the scenes because they terrify me. The less I know and the less I have to see that family the better for me.
Stef: Ah yes! I almost forgot about the Chens! That would explain the creepy crawly things that look like they came out of “The Grudge”.
Kent: They have really dropped the ball here. The Chens seem like such a fascinating story. They had some important back stories to really delve into. The Chens are the creepiest of the characters to some, but have been treated worse than Priscilla. It’s not like Ju On existed when the Chens got got. We know that they moved into the house in 1973. We know that they came from Taiwan and nobody informed them of the house’s history. They were doing their best to adapt to American life. One girl, Amy I think, was scared by Pig Head and fell down the stairs and potentially hurt her arm. The Chen’s prayed and offered sacrifices to their gods, but it was Blood Moon season, so they got killed. The newspaper reported them missing. That is all I can find. These are the creepiest characters, and that’s the best that you can do? At least the nurses had a back story and have gotten a kill. The Chen’s deserve better! As you can see, even my esteemed colleagues are baffled. It’s not just me.
How do you feel about Lee admitting to killing Mason?
Melanie: We all knew it, so I guess validated? (Kent: Not everybody knew it, so don’t become a cocky jerk. Nah, join me in being a validated jerk! Yay, validation!)
Cece: I was honestly shocked. Was sort of rooting for her to be a better person.
Kelly: I see it. I wasn’t too sure in the beginning if she did it, being that there are many culprits who could have done it. It’s very reasonable though and I can see why Lee wanted to let her daughter know the truth so she could go on with her life knowing what really happened to both of her parents. (Kent: I like the reason for her admission. That was actually smart.)
Stef: I was disappointed, and a little shocked. I honestly didn’t believe she did it. But I still don’t think she was the one that strung him up like that. How could she have done it alone?? (Kent: I honestly believe that we are going to find out some stuff on Lee over the next 2 weeks. That bitch is sinister.)
Kent: I’m absolutely the kind of guy to say that I told you so because I’m a self-absorbed asshole. Yeah, I feel good to sit among the nay-sayers. I’ll tell you all something else, there is something more sinister to Lee’s character than we know. You won’t find that in any bullshit interview, you read it here first. You’re welcome.
Why did Audrey go for her ring first, once she was free, rather than killing Ma Polk?
Melanie: Because it was Rory’s gift to her.
Cece: It could have been of sentimental value to her and she wanted it back because Rory was dead.
Kelly: (Can I just add that I hate Frances got the reenactment version of Ma Polk instead of the real life version!) Instinct? The last remnant of her husband? That’s what I’d assume. (Kent: I agree, Frances should have been the real version!!! Exclamation points!!!)
Stef: Who knows. They’re traumatized & confused. It’s the only piece of her husband she has to hold on to right now I suppose. But I totally would’ve clubbed that bitch first. (Kent: With that response, you are allowed to survive with me.)
Kent: First of all, how were we getting all of the camera angles in the Polk’s place? We had some overhead shots. This is supposed to be found footage, right? Sorry for nitpicking, wait no I am not! These are supposed to be the real life people, so how are we able to see this footage. Is there a smart Polk that knows how to set up AV equipment?
To answer the real question, because bitches are dumb and don’t think practically. I want to say that it’s only in the films, but no, it’s real-life. Their priorities are completely inane at the most pertinent of times. Now this answer won’t win me any fans, and that’s fine. You kill first. You then arm yourself with as many useful things as possible. You then either execute a plan of attack, or fall back to where you can devise an appropriate, well thought out plan. If you get your ring, great, grand, wonderful. It sure as shit is pretty fucking meaningless if you’re dead because you’re a dumbass. Trust me, any guy who is reading this is nodding his head. In times of great danger, sentimentality will get you killed.
Why the hell didn’t Dom say anything when he heard Audrey and Lee return?
Melanie: adding suspense? (Kent: Yeah, that’s the TV Show reason.)
Cece: I honestly don’t know either. I think he was just burnt out and looked like he’d ‘seen some shit’. (Kent: I wish he had said that.)
Kelly: He just watched a woman he had intimate relations with slice her own throat and realized Sidney isn’t saving his “precious actor” ass. Shock, man. And he didn’t know what was the other side of that bathroom door. Even if it was Lee and Audrey, who knows if they were alone out there.
Stef: I know. I would’ve been freaked out & happy as hell to finally see them return, but he just sat there till they walked in the bathroom. I guess maybe it was done for suspense on the show’s part… keep us wondering for an extra minute or two if he’s still alive. (Kent: Yeah, suspense.)
Kent: Totally lazy writing. That is about as lazy as you can get. You are alone after dealing with that shit, first of all, you are going to be on your guard when hearing anybody come near. Secondly, if you recognized the voices, you’d get them in with you ASAP to add safety in numbers. As a matter of fact, had he acted in that manner, the dumbasses probably would have believed him when he told them what happened. This was the laziest bit of AHS since the final episode of Freak Show, which was trash!
Why was Dom such a pussy about being forced out of the room?
Melanie: He didn’t want to die.
Cece: Again, he was probably a bit traumatized by what was going on. Especially seeing Shelby kill herself right in front of him. He’s just an actor. He hasn’t gone through this shit much. (Kent: In all fairness, how many of us have sat in a bathroom of a haunted house with a white chick that you banged on the side, and watched her slit her throat hours after she bashed her ex-husband’s head in? Hands…..anybody? Just because he’s an actor doesn’t mean that he should lack common sense. I used to act, poorly. I still know enough to not be THAT dumb.)
Kelly: They’re in a house haunted by vicious ghosts and are being targeted by vengeful spirits… I’d want to stick together, too. He didn’t kill Shelby anyway even though he was being accused. They forced him out on allegations they didn’t know were true or false.
Stef: Omg! That pissed me off a bit. I know if I were him I would’ve been fighting for my life, and probably would’ve knocked Lee right the hell out if she didn’t believe me. (Kent: That’s the answer! Knock bitches out until you are safe.)
Kent: The real reason is quite simple. Lazy writing, yet again. The guy that just last week was talking about being the asshole of the group, now suddenly is a complete and utter bitch? No, they changed the character to suit the needs to get from point A to point Z. Unfortunately, they didn’t have Dom stay true to his character. He could easily have over powered both of those dumb bitches. He had the means to protect himself, and that’s how Dom would have reacted and been about himself as soon as they became aggressive towards him. So there you go, the truth.
Why were the women safe from attack while in the bedroom throughout the night?
Melanie: If they killed off everyone there would be no more episodes. (Kent: Real reason, preach.)
Cece: I think by the time they laid down, it was already starting to become morning and everything was stifled. (Kent: I think that is the most logical reason. Otherwise, lazy writing. I’m being generous and giving the benefit of the doubt though. Timing could have been an issue.)
Kelly: You got me! I thought for sure after Dom they’d be targeted. (Kent: That does seem logical does it not, dude?)
Stef: That’s what I can’t figure out. Pig man had been in the shower before, so why wouldn’t things come into the bedroom. I don’t recall any “spirit” attacks happening in the bedroom. ??? (Kent: Wasn’t Rory killed in a bedroom? I’m too lazy to look back to know for sure. But if it’s a bedroom thing, like a safe zone, that is intriguing.)
Kent: Yeah, I think it is potentially reasonable that time may have been on their side. With that being said, lazy writing yet again. All they had to do was show a shot of a clock after Dom’s death, or a shot outside of dawn. We know that Pig Head is pissed and just killed Dom, so there was no reason, no fucking reason why he didn’t come in there and kill Lee and Audrey. Logic fallacies are fun.
Why is Dylan the first person to check on the house? Shouldn’t there have been people trying to contact Sydney or pretty much anybody working on the set?
Melanie: Is it all made up? (Kent: That would be great! And then Jessica Lange wakes up as her character from Coven, Fiona, and Axe Man is all like “You were having one hell of a dream.” That is how I would end this season.)
Cece: He was probably supposed to do a gig for Sidney and be another scare actor to the plan of the weekend. He must have shown up late and stumbled into this fuckery. (Kent: That sounds like a reason that they could use, plus you used the term fuckery.)
Kelly: I hated the cliffhanger, gosh darn it! You give us the first interesting episode (in my opinion) and then leave us like that? Screw you, Murphy! You’d think more “staff” would be trying to get to the group but apparently either everyone involved died or didn’t find it necessary to bother them for the three nights. (Kent: You’re gosh darn right! Screw you Murphy! I just want to say it one more time. Gosh darn it!!! Ah.)
Stef: Right. I understand they’re out there a bit, but nearly everyone is dead now, and there’s been no one checking on them this whole time. Can’t anyone else see what’s being filmed right now?? (Kent: In the real world, yes, people would be running film back to be saved and uploaded for editing. There’s a lot of things that would be happening.)
Kent: I agree with what has been said. My issue is that we know that there are people who are supposed to be running the gags in the house, we know that there are supposed to be other crew. It’s lazy writing, yet again. Just give a reason why these people aren’t there. Maybe you should have done more than 10 episodes and filled in some gaps. That’s a crazy thought, I know.
Bonus Deuce Deuce
Do you believe in the even season curse? To elaborate, it is my belief that every odd season is a better season than any even season. Some may say that the even seasons, such as this, Freak Show, and Asylum were the low points in the AHS franchise.
Melanie: No. I think they have all been fantastic.
Cece: I don’t believe so. It all depends on everyone’s tastes. To me, Hotel and Freakshow were probably my favorite seasons. I need to re-watch Murder House, but I think I really like that one too.
Kelly: Yes. There were parts of Asylum that were worthy of remembering just like Freak Show, but overall I still love the odd seasons most. (Kent: I couldn’t have said it better in just one sentence. They were the oddities with some cool stuff every once in awhile, and the Name Game sequence, which I abhor, and I believe you love it.)
Stef: Yes, absolutely. They’ve definitely been the more terrible seasons.
Kent: Yeah, the curse is alive and well. Murder House, Coven, and Hotel were the 3 best seasons by most metrics, while Asylum had solid acting but forced too many things into a story that would have done better with less. Freak Show was just a fucking disaster on every level imaginable. So many holes in the ideology of it, it wasn’t even all that fun to watch aside from a few characters. It was the worst roles for Evan, Jessica, Denis, Emma, Matt, and even Angela. So how in the hell is Freak Show not complete shit again? Honest question, because aside from the setting, Finn, Neil Patrick Harris, Michael Chiklis, John Carroll Lynch, and Sarah Paulson, it was not good.
Who will be missed more: Shelby or Dom?
Melanie: Eh…either/or would have been fine.
Cece: Shelby. Dom was an ass.
Kelly: Shelby, even though I’m not a super fan of her anyway. Dom was an idiot and disposable.
Stef: I personally will miss Dom more. Shelby was too blah… Sulky & kinda whiny.
Kent: Dom, obviously. We don’t need more women killing bitches. We need guys who do work. Dom was not an ass. He was smart up until he got forced out of the room. Big fucking difference. This is why guys get called assholes. Fact. I also really enjoyed Cuba in this role.
Will Dom or Matt return from the dead to get revenge?
Melanie: Maybe Dom, if he is really dead. Matt is happy to be with his bit of strange. (Kent: Points for using the term strange in an appropriate manner!)
Cece: I’m not quite sure. Dominic may come back for the girls, but the person who killed Matt is now dead too…
Kelly: Possibly but none of the others have, like Rory or Sidney or even Edward. Not even Kathy’s character has shown up after her death. (Kent: Didn’t Edward make a brief appearance last week when the 3 girls were trying to escape through the tunnel? You bring up a point that hasn’t really been brought up. Is there a time frame from date of death to when you can revisit as a spirit/ghost? This is horror, and the only way horror can thrive is with established rules damnit. You don’t put Rory in direct light. You don’t get Monet wet. You sure as hell don’t feed Lee after midnight. I like Gremlins.)
Stef: Maybe Matt will step in to help save his sister. Who btw is CRAZY for wanting to go back to the Polk house to try to retrieve the video. I’m sure she wants to be rid of it incase she lives, so that Flora (and the police) don’t see her confession, but c’mon now… Is just worry about staying alive. (Kent: Following every standard set in horror, all of these irrational actions lead me to believe that Lee will be the last one when she kills Audrey or Monet last.)
Kent: While I would love to see Matt return, with Shelby dead, it reduces that possibility. We still can’t discount him being in a trance under The Witch and doing her bidding. Dom, I hope he gets revenge and kills Audrey and Lee. After that, I don’t care if it’s Monet or Wes Bentley’s guy who lives. Either is acceptable, but Audrey and Lee deserve to die. I still think that we will see more sinister behavior from Lee, so she is now the clear cut front runner to survive. She has a wound, so that fits a lot of horror clichés. Don’t be surprised when Lee kills off one of the remaining girls.
Why did you love or hate this episode?
Melanie: I liked it. I didn’t have super strong feelings about it.
Cece: I loved seeing Finn’s sick character. And I liked how the girls got away.
Kelly: Shit happened for once. It’s tying together.
Stef: This is too many bonus questions, Kent. I was satisfied with the episode. Didn’t hate it, but didn’t LOVE it because I would’ve liked to see some things go differently… like Dom’s death annoyed me. Ya know?? (Kent: I will attempt to keep it to the usual number of questions this upcoming week because editing all of this shit takes more time, and I know it keeps you up.)
Kent: I HATED this episode and has made me not give a fuck about the last 2 episodes in all sincerity. It is such a shame. The first half was some of the best stuff that AHS has ever offered us, and then it shit the bed in glorious fashion. The lazy writing, the logical fallacies, the choices that these stupid bitches made, make this episode a grueling thing to sit through. It was indefensible, from my perspective. I know these ladies will tell you otherwise, and if you are reading this, you are most likely a female, as that is the target demographic, and you are probably agreeing with the ladies, and that’s fine. Just try to think about all of the points that I have brought up, really consider them piece by piece, and think about why so many things happened. Take your fangirl glasses off, and analyze it. This episode is the embodiment of lazy horror writing. I have seen this sort of shit happen all too often, and it is very mind numbing, and it is cookie cutter shit. Horror at it’s finest is something that invokes a “what would you do in this situation” thought process. When you watch horror, you think about that at some point and then make fun of the poor decisions. That is the premise of the Scream franchise in a sense. The whole second half was one big bad decision, minus the fun factor, so more like Scream 3. I really am not looking forward to Wednesday’s episode other than to get it done with and hope for some redemption with a Priscilla or Chen’s story arc.
I need to insult people one last time. As of 8:05AM on Monday November, 7, 2016 EST, The top 3 rated episodes per IMDB as voted by the fans are 1) Chapter Six w/ 9.1 Rating, 2) Chapter Seven w/ 9.0 Rating, 3) The Name Game from Asylum w/ 9.0. Here’s a sadder thing, the top 11 Episodes per ratings are from the even seasons. Fucking idiots that rate there, mainly millennials and pompous film people who thing because they took a film class in college, that means that they somehow get things deeper. Fucking people. Back of my hand.
All pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of the FX Network, Ryan Murphy, and whoever else is involved.