Unbreakable (2000)

I had to make myself a white Russian to make it through another M Night movie. Rest assured people, it gets better, then it gets really bad again, then it slightly improves, then After Earth with the black Karate Kid and Fresh Prince.

Let’s get this out of the way, I liked the movie the only time I saw it. I gave it a chance, and it was fine at the time. I love Samuel L, so this helps. Now time to give my impartial thoughts.

A black baby was born with broken arms and legs or some such nonsense. That’s gotta suck. Now, you and I both are gonna deduce that the black baby will eventually be Samuel L. We also have a blurb in the beginning about comic book collectors. Bruce Willis is back, and he’s an ok actor, but I don’t always get his full appeal, he is good to great in this one though. Shit, I just realized that this is probably not a horror movie at all. I’m already messing this up 2 movies in???? Damnit! Fuck it, I may as well keep on keeping on.

It’s cool Robin Wright is in this. Even cooler than Samuel L’s name is Elijah, as I’m a big fan of that name. I also like that Samuel L isn’t too damn skinny like he is in those credit card commercials nowadays. The scene where the kid pulls the gun is clearly one of the best of the whole film. Willis does a dandy of a job there.

Long story short, one of the best things you can say for this movie and M Night was that this did realistic superhero 5 years or so before Nolan took on Batman. This movie is really well constructed, and I think it would get better upon repeat viewings. Willis carries the film, but Samuel L was the perfect counterpart. I would absolutely recommend this to just anybody who can appreciate a story and not just the glitz and glam of superhero movies. The ending really ties the room together. I’m going to give it a 7 for now, and that score could always rise. I doubt it will drop. I can’t count this as a horror flick, so no boob ratings. Sorry….and there was no boobs anyway.

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#101 The Sixth Sense (1999)

I figure I may as well keep the number system for the blogs. We all cool with that? Good. At the end of every blog, I will post how many bare breasted women as well as ladies in say a bra, because that has to count for something. All of this is to help a great cause. With that said, I’m ready to put myself through 31 days and 100 movies, and a few video games, all for the sake of getting 5 hits a day! Woohoo, low expectations!!! Exclamation Points!!!!!!!!

I have just opened my first new box of Count Chocula of the year. Let’s face it, it’s not official for me until I taste the absolute deliciousness known as the black version of Lucky Charms.

I should tell you that there is a very good reason why I chose The Sixth Sense as the first movie to kick things off this year. Some of my closer friends may know that i consider this movie to be the most overrated horror film of all time. I have hammered this movie so bad that my best friend Chris refuses to see it. This was a movie strictly based around a plot twist, a lousy plot twist. I saw this in the movie theater, and I remember walking out being the only group of people that wasn’t wowed by this nonsense. It was a terribly predictable tweeest as M Night would say. I haven’t seen this movie since that night. Well ladies and gentleman, let’s see how this movie holds up 15 years later. Welcome back, I appreciate you taking your time to view this blog of mine.

In case you don’t know the twist, just stop reading. Well you can read, I’m gonna spoil it for you and save you almost 2 hours of your life….you’re welcome.

The kid sees dead people. This had been made clear in every trailed I ever saw. So guess what the twist is? He sees dead people. WHAT? Don’t give away your twist in the F’N trailer. I seriously sat there waiting for some twist while in the theater, and then I realized that people suddenly had this “aha” moment, and I asked my buddy if that was the twist. He said, no, there’s gotta be something more, they advertised that. Yeah.

Let me ask you something. Did the trailer for the Usual Suspects give away the twist in their trailer? Did the trailer for Fight Club give away the twist in their previews? NO, the answer is no. Nobody in their right mind would do this. Why were people surprised in the theater? I have spent 15 years wondering this, and I am still baffled. It is currently #162 all time on IMDB. What the hell am I missing? The movie itself is ok, it doesn’t do anything bad, but the hype, of the hype, and the people that slurped it up. I get why Halloween was and is still relevant today, despite it being a little meh to me. Oh, the kid just said that he sees dead people. This scene is actually decent and creepy, but it didn’t belong in the trailer. Sadly, apparently the vast majority of the audience didn’t quite get the point of the scene entirely. I admit, I am oblivious to a lot of twists in movies, so that’s why this was all the more appalling to me. The scene in the classroom with the kid calling his teacher Stuttering Stanley was also solid.

I still have over an hour to go.This is only going to get worse because I have Unbreakable, Signs, The Village, the Happening, and Devil all coming up. I like 2.5 of those movies. I’m so sick of cliched loud music, sudden movement on screen to get a reaction from the viewer. That’s not scary, that’s just lazy. Less than 30 minutes to go. I have been bored the last 30 minutes. M Night is very plodding sometimes.

Wow, this movie is finally ending. Bruce Willis was dead, the kid saw dead people. Get it? Great. This movie bored the hell out of me, and it should have been capable of so much more. Time to make a white Russian and hope the next movie is better. Wait, the next movie is Unbreakable? Fuck me.

I give this movie a 2.5 for a few good scenes, and a plot that should have been better, much better. Most overhyped horror film all time if you ask me, and you are kind of asking me, or else you wouldn’t be reading this. I wasn’t going to include any pictures, but I found this one and it reminds me of going upstairs at Teasers, the worst strip club ever. Now that shit is scary. This movie has nothing on Teasers from a horror standpoint.

Final Boob Tally.

One lady in a bra

One lady nude in a shower, but the door was too foggy.

2 close calls, but no bare breasts yet.

I don’t own that picture, I don’t want no legal issues, and blah blah blah, stuff I don’t know about.

All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:

Please go find a copy and support the creators.