9 Deuce Horror Presents: Texas Chainsaw Massacre

The 9 Deuce Horror Group sat down and answered some questions surrounding the original and remake of one of the most iconic horror franchises in history, Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  I am here with Kristi, Dom, and Cece, so I want to thank them.

  1.  When you saw the 1974 version for the first time, and watched the opening about how this was real, did you wonder if it really did happen, or did you just assume that it was just another horror flick?

Kristi:  I am more apt to believe it’s based off of true events when it says that. So I believed it.

Dom:  No, I believe that it took some true life event for it’s inspiration

Cece:  The actual legitimate story probably didn’t take place, however, it was said to have been influenced by Ed Gein. 

Kent:  Yeah, I bought into it at first.

 

  1.  I don’t think that we had seen much, if anything quite as extreme as this in mainstream cinema in America at the time.  This set the bar for awhile.  Chronologically, what was the next film that you feel upped the extreme factor beyond this particular film?  There are no wrong answers, but I may poke fun a bit because I’m a jerk.

Kristi: If I’m being honest here, I really haven’t seen many films from the 70s, so I will go with my favorite, Mr. Michael Myers in Halloween.

Dom:  Friday the 13th.  I hear that many moviegoers were not ready for the “extreme” violence of the original TCM

Cece:  Honestly, I am not sure. I think a lot of people really clung to Blair Witch when it came out.

Kent:  Salo is the answer.  There are no other answers.  It is Salo.  Of you haven’t seen Salo, don’t, but know that is the answer.  

 

  1.  Which character got the worst death in the original film?  What about in the remake?

Kristi: Original- the first girl that got killed. Hanging on that hook is way worse than getting clobbered in the head.

Remake- Kemper, Again with the damn hook!

Dom:  Original: The dude in the wheelchair.  Just couldn’t get away.

Remake: Morgan

Cece:  Hook girl is pretty solid for the original. For the remake, I’d say Andy or Morgan.

Kent:  Franklyn and Andy

 

  1.  The original had one of the better endings, especially for it’s time.  Aside from Psycho, can you think of other films prior to the 80’s that had such a unique ending?  If so, what film(s)?

Dom:planet of the apes

Cece:  Honestly, I am clueless on this matter.

Kent:  Salo, Jaws was interesting, The Hills Have Eyes, The Nudist Colony of the Dead, I Drink Your Blood, Suspiria, a lot of them is in the conversation.

 

  1.  Tobe Hooper had a good career as a film director, he also did Salem’s Lot, Poltergeist, Billy Idol’s music video for “Dancing With Myself”, an episode of Tales From The Crypt with Whoopie Goldberg, The Funhouse, Lifeforce, The Funhouse, along with a  few other things.  Would you consider this his best work or do you prefer something else that he did?

Dom: This will be his masterpiece.

Kristi: I actually prefer Poltergeist. The girl screaming for 20 minutes in TCM was annoying as hell. Shut the hell up, calm down, and figure out a plan! Don’t get me wrong, I love this movie, but seriously, did she need to sit there and scream uncontrollably at the table?

Cece:  This will always be his best work.

Kent:  Poltergeist was a better done film, but this is my preference.  Not my best answer, I admit.

 

  1.  Let’s talk about the hitchhiker scene in the beginning of both films.  The original had a male while the remake had a female.  Which one set the tone better for the rest of the film in your opinion?

Kristi:  I have to go with the remake. It gave me an idea of where the film was going. I enjoyed the original as well but it didn’t really give me any direction as to where the film was headed.

Dom:  Both.  Each had a different reason for being there in the beginning as a set up for later.

Cece:  I think the remake was a better feel honestly.

Kent:  I think remake, but both served their purpose, but that fucking exit would in the remake.

 

  1.  The remake starred both Jessica Biel and R Lee Ermey of Full Metal Jacket fame. Did this help the remake by adding well known people, or did it detract a bit from the experience?

Kristi: I like her. I was not distracted at all by them being in it. For me, it added to my enjoyment of the film.

Dom:  It’s the content of the film as well as the story for the most part, though bad acting can totally destroy a film too

Cece:  Usually when using big names, I do get distracted. However, this didn’t bother me for this film.

Kent:  This one worked because Jessica Biel has had a meaningless career career, so it came down to R Lee and he killed it in this one and the prequel.  I liked it.

 

  1.  Who was your favorite character in either film?

Kristi:  Original- The Hitchhiker.  He was batshit crazy. I like that.

Remake- I enjoyed Jessica Biel’s charactor. She irritated me a little bit in the beginning but I think she did a pretty damn good job overall.

Dom: LeatherFace for both

Cece:  I love the crazy family members of Leatherface.

Kent:  Original is the Hitchhiker, remake is Sheriff Hoyt

 

  1.  When you simply consider the look of how both movies were filmed, obviously the remake had a significantly more polished feel to it, which style do you prefer?  The low budget feel of the original or the polished Hollywood style of the remake?

Kristi: I usually like the more Hollywood style but for this film, I liked the low budget feel. I think it adds to the film.

Dom:  The original having that low budget feel made it feel like a documentary , but a good documentary.  The polished feel was expected of today’s audiences.  But i felt both styles were done good.

Cece:  The low budget feel in the original takes the cake. This is one of the main reasons this movie scares the shit out of me.

Kent:  I gotta go with original, but it is very close.  I love 70’s gritty look.

 

Bonus Deuce

  1.  It’s okay to admit that this was a well done remake.  Not all remakes are inherently evil or unwanted.  When done right, they can be a positive experience.  Name a few remakes that you really enjoyed.  The obvious example is The Thing in the 80’s, and that will be my answer, but there are quite a few others.

Kristi: Rob Zombie’s Halloween is the first to come to mind. I think It was done very well also! I didn’t hate Carrie either. It could just be because I like the girl, but I thought it was ok.

Dom:  R Zombie’s Halloween.  Black Christmas

Cece: Zombie’s Halloween for sure (but only the first one) also IT (2017)

Kent:  The Thing, Halloween, The Crazies, Friday the 13th, Night of the Living Dead with Tony Todd, IT

 

  1.  Have you seen any of the sequels, and if so, did you like any of them?

Kristi: I have not seen them.

Dom:  i have but i only remember bits and pieces.  So I’m guessing no.

Cece:  I have seen bits and pieces of the 2nd one with the chili cook off and it’s so bizarre. My mom thinks it’s hilarious.

Kent:  I have unfortunately.  Part 3 was the best of the original 3 sequels, and the prequel to the remake was fine as was the 3D film for what it was.

Please check us out at the actual 9 Deuce website, on Facebook at facebook.com/9deuceblog , on Twitter @official9deuce, or Instagram at Official9Deuce.  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question at kent@9deuce.com.  Thank you.

For the month of October, if you see this logo, click on it to go see the updated list of my 100 Horror Movies In October Marathon.

 

All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:

Please go find a copy and support the creators.

 

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

This is the follow up to the 2003 Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Michael Bay is still involved.  Now, I need to clear up some confusion, this film is a prequel to the 2003 film.  Not only that, but as of right now, these 2 films are in their own plane of existence and share nothing with any of the other 8 films.  This will hopefully clear up some confusion, especially with the different names of the family, such as Hewitt and Sawyer and Hartman that you will see in others.   I’m going to give you a synopsis that will contain spoilers and then provide you with my final thoughts as well as a rating.  

 

SPOILERS

This film takes place 4 years prior to the 2003 film.  We see the birth of a baby, which would end up in the dumpster and then in the loving arms or R Lee Ermey’s wife, and of course that baby would turn out to be Leatherface.  We have a decent cast of recognizable names.  Our main group of young people includes: Chrissie (Jordana Brewster), Eric (Matt Bomer), Bailey (Diora Baird), and Dean.  The great Lew Temple has a role early on as the Sheriff that Ermey kills and that answers how he became the sheriff in the previous film.  Eric and Dean are brothers, and Eric has been to Vietnam and Dean has been drafted.  Dean doesn’t want to go, but Eric is going and wants his brother to come.  So there’s your back story.

The girls go into a store and raise the suspicions of some bikers.  The group leaves and get chased down by this biker chick.  There’s an accident and the sheriff shows up, shoots the biker chick and puts Eric, Dean, and Bailey in the cop car.  Chrissie was thrown from the vehicle and hides.  SO basically she spends the whole movie trying to rescue her friends. She goes so far as to recruit the biker chick’s boyfriend to help her, but he is only concerned about his chick and has the upper hand at one point, even shooting the wheelchair bound guy in the 2003 one, which leads to some surgery by Leatherface as ordered by Sheriff.  As you know, nobody was going to really make it out of this alive.  You know who the last person was going to be standing.  I liked how Ermey had a bigger role.  He was really a great change of pace antagonist and is everything that McConaughey wished his character was in part 4.

End Film

 

Final Thoughts – I felt that not a lot of people gave this the props that it deserved.  This was really fun if you like the antagonists.  The downside was that Eric and Dean were dull as fuck, and neither girl had much chance to have a big personality.  I liked how they did the gag where the wife gave Sheriff his pants again.  I liked the continuity more than anything.  The other films up to this point lacked a lot of continuity.  I am actually annoyed that this flew under my radar for so many years.  

Rating:  6.6 Really good follow up if you liked the 2003 version.  If not, you won’t like this either.

Please check us out at the actual 9 Deuce website, on Facebook at facebook.com/9deuceblog , on Twitter @official9deuce, or Instagram at Official9Deuce.  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question at kent@9deuce.com.  Thank you.

For the month of October, if you see this logo, click on it to go see the updated list of my 100 Horror Movies In October Marathon.

 

All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:

Please go find a copy and support the creators.

 

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Michael Bay wanted to make a reboot of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise, and so he went to work.  People frown upon remakes, I am one of them, but this is truly an exception to the rule.  This was not the same story as the original, and for that I am grateful.  The original was great as it was.  This is similar, but different enough.  I am going to give you a synopsis full of spoilers followed by my final thoughts and a rating.  

 

SPOILERS

We meet our main group of friends.  We have Erin (Jessica Biel), her boyfriend Kemper, Morgan (Jonathan Tucker), Andy, and his hitchhiking love interest, Pepper  They are on their way to a Lynard Skynard concert.  They had gone to Mexico and got a pinata full of weed, so wet blanket, I mean Erin, is pissed at Kemper.  They pick up a hitchhiking female, and she is just in rough shape.  She just wants to go home and looks like she has been through hell.  She doesn’t want to go back and pulls out a loaded gun from her crotchal region and puts a bullet in her dome and we get a great shot through the exit wound.  This was so different from the original and set the stage.  In the original, the guy was just lonely and nutty.  This was the epitome of hopelessness, and it was incredibly sad.

They go to call the sheriff and he wants them to meet by this house, so they explore the barn.  Anyway, they end up at the Hewitt house and Erin goes to call again and Kemper grows impatient.  Anyway, this is all an elaborate set up.  The sheriff gives Morgan, Andy, and Pepper a hard time and asks them to do some ridiculous shit.  The sheriff is played by the great R. Lee Ermey.  They eventually figure out that he is involved with everything.  Kemper gets got first.  Everybody gets got and we meet more relatives, including a little boy, Jebidiah.  He is played by David Dorfman, who also played the role of Aidan in The Ring.  Anyway, Jebidiah, a name that comes up later on in the franchise, he helps Erin escape from Leatherface.  The family is not as over the top in this one and set a really nice ambiance.  In the end, after having a face off with Leatherface in the meat packing facility, she ends up hotwiring a car and runs over the Sheriff a few times.

End Film

 

Final Thoughts – While the original is very gritty, this is very polished, but in a good way.  They made plenty of changes that didn’t hurt the story in any way and made up it’s own backstory which comes into play in the follow up film.  I loved the family in this even more than the original.  They upped the gore level.  It was never scary, but it was dark. Leatherface wasn’t goofy anymore, he was a bad ass killer not to be trifled with.  Jessica Biel probably should have had more skin showing through given what she was wearing.  Morgan was also an interesting character put in situations that you try to put yourself into, and he was fucked the whole time quintessentially.  

Rating: 7.6 it’s the same rating I gave the original.  I love both and I am not going to tell you one is better that the other.  Some will disagree, and that’s fine.  Both have a charm, and both are the best of their respective franchises.

Please check us out at the actual 9 Deuce website, on Facebook at facebook.com/9deuceblog , on Twitter @official9deuce, or Instagram at Official9Deuce.  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question at kent@9deuce.com.  Thank you.

For the month of October, if you see this logo, click on it to go see the updated list of my 100 Horror Movies In October Marathon.

All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:

Please go find a copy and support the creators.

 

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)

Well what do you have here?  One of Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger’s earlier films.  You like one of them at least, right?  This is the last TCM before the big reboot.  I will give a brief spoiler filled synopsis, then give you my final thoughts and rating at the end.  

 

SPOILERS

Kim Henkel was one of the original writers and decided to give directing a try, for the first and only time.  I am sure he realizes that he made a mistake with this one.This is a fucking mess.  In the typical TCM beginning, they refer to the past 2 films as “two minor, yet apparently related incidents”.  Really, so just downplay the last 2 films?  Well done!  So it’s prom night and we meet Jenny (Renee), Barry, Heather, and Sean.  Barry is the best part of this whole film, so enjoy his first 15 or so minutes.  If you don’t laugh at him, then you probably find Amy Schumer to be the height of hilarity. Heather is driving and gets distracted and gets into a car accident and hurts the other driver.  Sean stays with the driver while the other 3 go to this real estate agent’s office, Darla.  I should note that Renee is actually attractive here and they did the whole hot chick is really an ugly girl thing that Hollywood never gets sick of doing.  Also, Darla is attractive, but at some point, she shows her tits and you struggle identifying where the areola starts due to over tanning.  It’s weird and I dwelled on this the rest of the film.  

Darla calls Vilmer (McConaughey) as he drives a tow truck.  Well Vilmer kills the driver and Sean.  Jenny gets separated from Heather and Barry who go to the farmhouse.  Barry to  W.E. Slaughter (Vilmer’s brother)  and Heather gets caught by Leatherface who looks more like a woman than ever before.  The fuck?  Barry gets killed via Sledgehammer swung by Leatherface.  Heather gets placed on a meathook because that’s a staple of these films.  Another staple is the running upstairs and then downstairs and running upstairs and jumping out of windows.  This isn’t a one trick pony, but like a 4 trick pony.

Jenny meets up with Vilmer, gets a ride with him, but he freaks her out so she gets out and the hunt is on.  We see how the family is kinda run by Vilmer, like everybody is afraid of him.  He continually hits Darla, but then she gets some licks on him and they are very passionate towards each other.  Vilmer also has a weird mechanism on his leg.  There is like 30 minutes of filler with Darla getting pizza and cops and then this mysterious Rothman guy who has power over the family somehow.  There’s a dinner table scene, as expected.  Heather gets burned and killed and Jenny escapes and there’s an airplane and then she gets in a car with Rothman who brings her to a hospital while Leatherface dances in the road again.  Yeah, you can understand why I did my best to glance over a bunch of that shit.

End Film

 

Final Thoughts – I still liked this more than part 2.  Not by much, but McConaughey was on the verge of being a star, and he is charismatic as fuck here.  Darla was a good addition, and Barry kept the beginning fresh and fun.  With that being said, this was an absolutely confusing mess of a film.  I didn’t get it.  Was the illuminati involved, as was hinted?  Fuck, this was just all over the place.  I am so sick of female empowerment in cases where they shouldn’t have any power and males are always useless or the bad guys.  Horror is stupid.

Rating: 2.9 because it was better than part mainly because of Vilmer and Darla.  Everything else brought me down.  I wouldn’t watch this again.

Please check us out at the actual 9 Deuce website, on Facebook at facebook.com/9deuceblog , on Twitter @official9deuce, or Instagram at Official9Deuce.  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question at kent@9deuce.com.  Thank you.

For the month of October, if you see this logo, click on it to go see the updated list of my 100 Horror Movies In October Marathon.

 

All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:

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Texas Chainsaw Massacre III: Leatherface (1990)

After 4 long years, the franchise comes back, but without Tobe Hooper.  The director is most notable for a lot of terrible sequels.  I can say that this was his high point.  Anyway, we get a film starring Ken Foree who was in a lot of the Rob Zombie films as well as Dawn of the Dead.  We are also treated to a young Viggo Mortensen and Duane Whitaker, so the cast is solid, to an extent.  Michelle and Ryan were kinda poorly done if you ask me, but nobody really is.  I am going to provide you with a spoiler filled synopsis and follow that up with my final thoughts and rating.

 

SPOILERS

We have Michelle and Ryan who are a young couple and they end up at the Last Chance gas station and meet up with a hitchhiker named Tex (Viggo) and the gas station attendant, Alfredo.  Tex gives them some directions, and wants a ride, but they decline and then Alfredo gets out a gun and they speed away and see Alfredo fire his gun.  They need to change a tire and meet Leatherface but escape.  Then they have a car crash with survivalist, Benny.  They tell him their story and Benny looks for help, and along comes Tinker.  Benny realizes that Tinker is with Leatherface and soon is dealing with him, but is saved by the chick, Sara, whose entire family was killed.  Benny goes to check on Michelle and Ryan, leaving Sara alone, so she gets killed by Leatherface.  Wait a damn second.  That was it?  That was her whole a role?  A role of convenience for plot purposes.  Get outta here with that shit.  

So Ryan gets caught in a bear trap, and Michelle gets to the house and deals with the Little Girl who is the best part of the whole film if we’re being honest.  Anyway, the girl is part of the family and Michelle gets tied to a chair for dinner.  Yup, decomposed grandpa is there.  There is a momma, Anne.  We know that everybody is part of the family, and then Ryan gets the sledgehammer to the dome, via the Little Girl.  Benny tried to get info from ALfredo, but that goes bad so ALfredo ends up in the bog.  Leatherface has a new pimped out chainsaw.  Benny finds the house and opens fire and kill Anne and grandpa while Tinker and Tex are injured.  Michelle bails.  Benny and Tex have a great fight until Tex is burned alive.  Then Benny and Leatherface have at it and Michelle causes distractions, but it appears that Benny gets got.  By Dawn, Michelle is making it out of the woods while being chased.  A pickup truck comes by, and it’s Benny, who is then attacked by Alfredo, so Michelle shoots Alfredo.  The duo ride off as Leatherface does his dance in the road with his chainsaw that we saw in the original.

End Film

 

Final Thoughts – There are some quality actors in here, aside from the 3 mentioned, I thought that Anne and the Little Girl were really well done, but smaller parts unfortunately.  Michelle wasn’t a good final girl if we’re being honest.  Ryan was just awful.  Benny should have had a bigger role earlier.  There were parts where I got confused, or maybe I was just tired.  Too much shit, but it felt like filler.  This was better than part 2, but not by much.  I have zero interest in seeing it again.

Rating:  3.7 That’s mainly for the characters and actors that I liked.  The plot really wasn’t good.  Leatherface kinda gets shittier with every sequel unfortunately.

Please check us out at the actual 9 Deuce website, on Facebook at facebook.com/9deuceblog , on Twitter @official9deuce, or Instagram at Official9Deuce.  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question at kent@9deuce.com.  Thank you.

For the month of October, if you see this logo, click on it to go see the updated list of my 100 Horror Movies In October Marathon.

 

All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:

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Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

I feel that this movie gets the shaft when discussing the OG’s of slashers.  Everybody has this odd proverbial hard on for Carpenter’s Halloween, and I have always favored this film instead.  Plus it came out years ahead of it’s time.  We also lost director Tobe Hooper this year, so let’s do this in honor of him.  We will be writing up a spoiler filled synopsis, so feel free to skip over that and hop down to my Final thoughts and rating at the end of the blog.  Enjoy.

 

SPOILERS

I really asked if this was real after watching the opening when I was a kid.  My mom had no clue, I think she said it was.  Good for her lying to my dumbass.  So we have Sally and Franklin, who are siblings, and visit their grandfather’s grave.  Franklin is in a wheelchair.  We also have Jerry, Kirk, and Pam, but let’s face it, they are cannon fodder.  Was it a prerequisite for all horror movies in the 70’s to have a van?  Jerry has great hair and a great shirt.  Franklin talking about how the cows are slaughtered, just ridiculous, and then they pick up the hitchhiker.  We get him and Franklin talking cattle, then he steals Franklin’s pocket knife and cuts himself and giggles.  This guy is so nutty, but set the stage for what’s to come.  He invites the gang to have dinner with his family and takes a picture of them, but it’s not very good, so he decides he is going to light it on fire, and then takes out his razor and cuts Franklin’s arm.  Poor Franklin. Pam won’t shut the fuck up about horoscopes, so we know who I want to die first every times, but it never happens first.  Sally doesn’t believe in bras, and I thank her.

They make it to the house and nobody is helping Franklin, so he is just bitchy, and hilarious.  Kirk and Pam go off to find a swimmin’ hole, but it’s all dried up.  On the plus side, they see a barn and hear a generator and hope to get some gas.  Kirk goes in the house while Pam sits outside pissed, and he hears a pig squeal.  Well, he meets Mr. Leatherface and his friend, the sledgehammer.  The imagery inside the house is just wonderful.  All the bones and feathers, it’s something to just soak in.  Pam is in a very bad room with lots of tools.  She tries to leave, but Leatherface snags her and places her ass on a meathook, well not her ass, but you get it.  He starts cutting up Kirk with the chainsaw and Pam has to watch. Jerry goes looking for Kirk and Pam while Sally and Franklin stay at the van, and she is pissed at him.  Jerry hears noises in the house and he walks in.  Like everybody just walks in to stranger’s houses like it’s nothing.  Jerry opened the freezer to find Pam, and Leatherface just hammered Jerry in the head.  I bet ole Leatherface was so happy to have that many visitors, but maybe not.  

It’s now nighttime and Sally and Franklin are getting worried.  Franklin thinks that they should go back to the gas station, but Sally wants to go looking for them.  Awww, they don’t have the keys to the van.  Sally’s hard nipples really wants the flashlight, but Franklin doesn’t want to give it up.  He insists on going with her to look.  They keep yelling for Jerry, but wouldn’t it be more efficient to yell for Pam and Kirk with their monosyllabic names?  They hear something.  Ohhh.  It’s Leatherface and Franklin just got tore up in that wheelchair.  Run, Sally, run!!!  

We now have a 25 minute chase scene quintessentially, and old Leatherface is fast for his size.  She runs right to his place because she sees some lights on.  She runs in the house and goes upstairs, of course she does.  She finds a room with 2 bodies in clothes and chairs, so that’s nice.  She starts back down the stairs, but he’s heading up so she just leapt through a window.  Typical female running and falling down.  They make it to the gas station, and she never stops screaming, but fortunately the guy who owns the shop is there to help her.  

The guy offers to drive her to Childress since he has no phone.  He comes back with the truck, a burlap sack and rope.  He attacks her with a broom.  He’s tying her up and gagging her.  Thank you sir.  Sick of her screaming.  He put his sack over her face….HA!  She is whimpering so he starts prodding her with the broom stick.  As he’s driving, he comes across the hitchhiker and this dude starts beating his ass.  So the old dude is the daddy of Leatherface and the hitchhiker.  Daddy is pissed that Leatherface ruined the door.  This is fucking hilarious.  Time to get Grandpa.  Awww, we finally hear the name Leatherface for the first time.  Allllright!  Granpa has seen better days.  Grandpa is sucking on Sally’s cut finger and he is one happy pappy.

Sally passes out, but when she comes to, she is strapped to a chair at the dining room table, and she screams so the brothers start howling.  Hitchhiker starts berating his daddy, saying that he’s only a cook.  She has really beautiful eyes.  They want to let Grandpa have a whack at her.  Grandpa was the best ar killing.  He can’t really hold a hammer anymore.  He tries, and he finally gets her.  But then she leaps out a window and gets to trying to escape.  Hitchhiker is out after her first followed by leatherface hauling ass.  He is cutting her back up from behind.  Then a black dude in the Black Maria truck comes up, runs over and kills the hitchhiker.  Poor Leatherface falls and cuts his thigh and she gets picked up by a pickup truck, and Leatherface stays out in the road just swinging that chainsaw wildly in disappointment.

End Film

Final Thoughts – When I think of the perfect 70’s looking horror flick, this is what comes to mind.  Visually, it is incredible.  It feels so rustic and unfiltered and I mean that in a good way.  The deaths were short, and Sally screams for way too long, but it was a good time.  Leatherface is most definitely silly in a way, but I love the crazy killing family angle.  It just worked really well together.  Also, I loved that Franklin was wheelchair bound.  It was different seeing that kind of character in this type of film.  

Rating:  7.6 seems appropriate given how many films I have enjoyed over the years have openly borrowed from im.  

Please check us out at the actual 9 Deuce website, on Facebook at facebook.com/9deuceblog , on Twitter @official9deuce, or Instagram at Official9Deuce.  Share this, like this, write us an email with a question at kent@9deuce.com.  Thank you.

For the month of October, if you see this logo, click on it to go see the updated list of my 100 Horror Movies In October Marathon.

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  • Vortex (as a vortex/henkel/hooper production)

Please go find a copy and support the creators.

Prom Night (1980)

Hey, a movie starring the “scream queen” Jamie Lee Curtis and Leslie Nielsen.  This can’t be bad, right?  Well, not so fast.  I am going to give you a quick spoiler-ific synopsis and then provide you with my final thoughts and rating.  Don’t expect much.

SPOILERS

We start off with some kids, like 11 or 12 playing and they fuck with this girl Robin Hammond, and keep saying “kill kill kill” until she backs up and falls to her death from a window.  The kids promise not to tell anybody it was their fault, so this other dude takes the rap for it.  Robin’s siblings, KIm (Jamie Lee) and Alex are now prom age, and her dad was Leslie Nielsen.  After way too much talking and bullshit and dancing and getting dressed up, prom night is upon us.  Well the killer starts picking off the kids that were involved in Robin’s death.  In the end, the killer is Alex.  

End Film

Final Thoughts – Wow, when typed out, it goes to show just how shitty and shallow this film was.  It did spawn 3 sequels and a reboot.  On top of that, it inspired many films like The House on Sorority Row and that remake called Sorority Row.  So this is an inspirational film.  I did enjoy the Lou character because he was that over the top 80’s dickhead.  Jamie Lee proved to me once again to be undeserving of the title of scream queen because she did nothing to stand out in this one.  If anything, the one chick survived for like 10 minutes and deserves credit.  I think it was Wendy.  Unfortunately, the pacing of this was lacking early on.  I would have gotten to prom 20 minutes earlier and had more kills.  Yeah, you like my version better already.  You can keep the terrible dance sequence if you like.  I think I would.  Slick is my absolute favorite character in this film.

Rating: 4.2 mainly for influencing other films that I have enjoyed.  Even something like I Know What You Did Last Summer was partly influenced by this.  I don’t foresee me watching this ever again.

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#145 Sorority House Massacre (1986) Review

I need a slasher to get my head back in the game. So why not go to the decade where the slasher genre was perfected? We are back in 1986, and a sorority house is going to apparently get massacred. Here’s the synopsis from IMDB.com.

“A little girl’s brother kills the whole family but her (she escapes by hiding in the basement). He is committed, and she grows up with a new family, eventually going to college, where she joins a sorority. Due to a memory block, she doesn’t remember that the sorority house was her childhood house. Her brother senses her presence in the house and escapes so he can finish the job he was unable to complete.”

There’s absolutely nothing outlandish there at all. I mean, I usually sense when somebody I haven’t see in years goes in a house that I haven’t been in in many years. That’s like a sixth sense. It’d be better than seeing dead people.

OK, the outfits…..this is way better than your typical 80’s style in a horror movie. Check these ladies out. Especially the white dress.

Or this pic.

The boobs just piled up. 1….2…..3, 3 boobs! The girls were playing dress up in awful outfits, so many awful outfits. And this all happened during some smooth sax, reminded me of Kenny G’s version of Careless Whisper. I wanna hear that song right now, it’s great. “The hair, dresses, the music, the breasts” is what I just said outloud. The killer just stole a station wagon with the wood paneling on the side, and the woman half assedly tried to stop him, so she got half assedly hit.

Naturally we’re at the point where teh boys come over to scare them, Here was the best thing, our main girl has the same haircut and color as her boy toy. This really happened. I couldn’t tell who was who. It’s not like she dresses like a lady, or has big knockers or anything like that.

This movie is bad, but in a silly way. It keeps me paying attention.  This whole bullshit with the brother and sister sensing one another….that’s just garbage.

So that whole paying attention thing…..I apparently lied. This movie has hit a really bad lull. the middle third has been boring as hell. Yeah, even now with the killer doing his thing, he is beyond dull.  I don’t need a charismatic murderer, but I want him to want it. That’s very important to me. This guy seems determined, but lacking that special something that all horror icons have.

We’re down to 3 girls still alive, and I just want everybody to die. No amount of great ending will make this good. We know it’s watchable. Hell, there’s a Dee Snider poster in the beginning on a wall. That is solid. A movie shouldn’t progressively get worse. It can have highs and lows, but it shouldn’t peak 20-30 minutes in and just snowball downhill after. That’s not cool. Here’s another downfall, with 12 minutes remaining, including credits, so we’re in final 10 minute territory, they spend 4 minutes hiding in the same place. I’m sorry, that is not anywhere close to how you should be spending the last 10 minutes of a horror film.

This girl keeps hitting the killer with a shovel, like you are trying to save your friend from murder, and it’s like an 8 year old girl is hitting him with a shovel that is too heavy for her to wield.  That’s just poor directing  Storyline, the idea was there, but the execution was abysmal

I really, really wish I could make a sweeping recommendation. I can’t and won’t. Too many issues. It’s ok as cheesy background noise horror flick while you’re playing poker or something like that. It is on Netflix, so feel free to check it out. But I can’t even use the “it’s so bad, it’s good logic” because that charm wore off quickly. I am giving it a 4, although it was almost a 3.5. I can’t overlook the fact that the plot idea in an of itself could have really made this stand out, but it needed a little more than slight tweaking. Oh well, missed opportunity. I’d like to see this movie revisited and remade with some alterations. I’m not saying that would make a great movie, but you could easily get to the 6-7 range with proper directing and a smarter script.

The Quest for Breasts Total

56 Bare breasts

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#144 Children of the Corn: The Gathering (part 4) (1996) Review

We are back to those crazy kids in their corn. This sequel was filmed a year after Urban Harvest (Part 3) and that was a treat, so hopefully this will be too.

This movie actually has 2 stars, how the hell did that happen? Naomi Watts, I love that lady, so much as well as Karen Black from house of 1000 Corpses (Mother Firefly). We hopefully are in for a good time.

So of the important things, Naomi Watts, although attractive here, really got more beautiful over the next decade plus.

I don’t think I have ever seen this one, but so far, it’s been dull and not much cohesion.  The story here is that Grace (Naomi Watts) has come back home because her mom June (Karen Black) is having mental issues, going a little crazy.

Grace has 2 younger siblings, Margaret and James. Apparently she has a black chick friend, Sandra. Sandra’s dad and brother are in this Grace and Sandra help out at a doctor’s office. The doctor is an awesome old dude. You just know he is going to die at some point. A bunch of the town’s kids are all experiencing fevers. Oh and here is the bad ass kid who will be our leader of the children I am sure. These kids are running temps over 105, and they are convulsing because evil kid is somehow fucking with their dreams or something. This is nonsense at it’s finest. It all culminated in a girl screaming, and the kids are in ice baths, and the fevers are dropping. How does a movie with such talent have such a bad story?

Looking through the cast list, there’s a character without a last name, named Josiah. I’m taking a giant leap of faith and guessing that he is the evil kid. Ugh, so sick of these bugs in these movies. I don’t think they existed in part 1 or part 2. Hell I can’t recall. It’s still stupid as hell. Uh oh, black did named Marcus is now evil, and mommy just got it. The cops think daddy did it, and he’s trying to explain to the cops that his boy ain’t right. The boy just casually climbs over a fence, and into the cornfield. The cop is following. I fully anticipate some cornstalks roughing him up. Let’s see how this plays out. I was wrong. Marcus distracted him and another kid killed the cop.

This movie is so uninteresting. I tried to care, I genuinely tried, but this was borderline unwatchable. I hated this, I gave up midway and it was on, but my mind wasn’t functioning. I am giving it a 2. How did a movie with those 2 stars end up soooo bad? I can’t recommend this to anybody. The story with the kids was way too off the wall, even by CotC standards. I’m not even going to make fun of it. I just want to move on. If you want a good Naomi Watts movie, go watch The Ring. If you want a good Karen Black film, go watch House of 1,000 Corpses. Enough said.

The Quest for Breasts Total

53 Bare breasts

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#143 Slumber Party Massacre III (1990) Review

This is the end of a fantastic little trilogy. I loved this film as a teen. Let’s see how it holds up.

We start out with a scene on the beach. 2 girls are clearly skanks talking about how skanky they are. One white girl talks about how much she wants this black guy. Well, IF she lives, I bet she will be buying him sneakers and carrying them through the mall for him, because that’s what white bitches do when they date black dudes.

There’s a creepy dude staring at the group. He looks like Jeff Hardy. Is this a surprise to you? It’s not to me. His name is Yan Birch, and he’s a Swede. Some girl got killed, and nobody cares.

Now we’re at the slumber party. 3 of these ladies have some special awful look. I am making fun of this girl’s hair for how awful it is. Raylene says “I think that’s what my hair looks like”. I look over, chuckle and feel satisfied and say “Uh huh”.  One girl has a terrible floral top, weirdly cut jean shorts that are too long and boots. Another has this weirdly cut belly shirt that is cut like a frown on the bottom. And of course the girl with the awful Raylene-esque hair, I just don’t even want to. One girl looked good in a bathrobe, but her striped shirt and jeans with patches look doesn’t work too well. One girl is attractive and could wear what she has on even nowadays, some looks are classic. Oh, another girl shows up, and she is wearing a vest, because women in vests and white tshirts and boots…just nope.

Here’s the strip tease part!!! So fantastic. The girl with the awful hair had large dark areolas, and the hottest chick had a soft pink ones. It was quite the contrast. Thankfully, I can add 2 to the Quest For Breasts count. The guys crashed the strip tease. Dumbasses.

All the girls are horny, angry and screechy for the next 15 minutes. Oh, and bad hair ordered pizza. Some things are always staples.

There was a pizza delivery chick who got bribed to switch shirts with a creepy guy. On her way back to her car, she got got. It’s a shame, she was more attractive than most of the girls in this one.

I think they invented a new genre of music, heavy metal makeout music. Hey, my blonde chick is topless again. Blondes are fun. Oh Raylene just insulted me. How classy, coming from a 2 bit skank missing her days when she used to be a skank. BOOM!

My girl, come to find out is named Juliet. She was trying to bang a dude named Ken. After their fling, she went to the bathroom to shower. She found a back massager that plugs into the outlet, not like those battery operated ones that your mom owns. Raylene then gets vulgar claiming it was a vibrator. I found this whole conversation deplorable. Sometimes a girl just needs a good rub, am I right ladies?

Oh, and Juliet got electrocuted while showering via aforementioned massager. The party calls the police, and the police dismiss her because that’s what cops do obviously. There’s a sign that says “Before you do crack,” but you can’t read the rest. That’s a shame.

Ken and another dude are going to get help. They end up in a lumber mill and Ken hurt his ankle. By Gawd, he just turned heel like HHH. Seriously, he hit the guy with a sledgehammer. How fucking great is that. And he now is like Chainsaw Charlie and goes after his Achilles. This movie has it all!

The dialogue…so good. They realize there’s a window in the basement, so she goes to grab a tool from the fireplace. She says “Give me that poker” and guy responds “No…..besides, they’re tongs”. Fantastic.

Brooding Ken is in the back of a  truck, and he has dead bodies, candles, a newspaper clipping about his dead uncle. It’s a nice set up. Now Ken has come back to get some vengeance. I won’t spoil all the fun for you.

Raylene is complaining about logic. As I try explaining, women on their own accord don’t do well in this situation. Put 5 panicky women in the same room, and all logic is vanquished from the premises. It’s like  hanging with a short guy who has short guy syndrome who has been drinking. At some point, he’s gonna feel disrespected and start a fight. Just like Tom Cruise, only not in a closet.

Now this girl just got slapped and hit in the face 5 times. We go back to her face, no bruising, a small trickle of blood. Big nips can’t pull herself out a basement window despite 2 women helping boost her. Wait, the other girl’s face is now badly bruised. For real??? This girl can’t climb out a window, but she letting him fondle her like there’s no tomorrow.  There’s them areolas again. I am hoping he motorboats, but I have my doubts. She is starting to like it. Mind you,3 girls just watched this and the ensuing violence.

OK, so he has been blinded by bleach. Bruised face takes advice from the other 2 dumbasses about how to get to them. She takes the direct, walk inches away from him approach as opposed to taking 10 extra steps and being safe.

It ended, I’m happy. You happy? Good, you better be. I would recommend this to fans to like a little laugh while watching Friday the 13th. I give this a solid 6.8. Watch it, love it, embrace it. And always make fun of it.

The Quest for Breasts Total

53 Bare breasts

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