Here we are, at the climactic end of the quadrilogy and it is directed by the great Jean-Pierre Jeunet!!! Wait, who? Fuck it. This brings Sigourney Weaver back, and adds Winona Ryder and Ron fucking Perlman! Alright, now I am excited. Hey, Brad Dourif too.
We are on USM Arigua and there are 41 military and 7 medical people and a nude female in a tube. With shaved no-no area. 3 scientists are removing an alien from Ripley it appears. That little guy is pissed. Time to sew her back up. Ripley is om a weird clear bag something. She has a tattoo that looks like a domino. Ripley is being referred to as #8, and she has some badass handcuffs on as the doctors analyze her. She rips the cuffs off of the restraint and goes to choke out the doctor after he says that she will make all of them very rich. Now they are teaching her words again. General Perez is talking about how it’s remarkable how it is relearning, referring to #8. Perez wants to put her down but gives her one chance. And they have a queen in captivity, great.
So she is a clone and she does still have some memories it appears. She tells the doctor that they have a queen and everyone will die from the Company. It sounds like The Company doesn’t exist anymore. Another doctor is saying how remarkable this discovery is and the potential for disease and cures and shit. This guy is a condescending dick.
There are 2 dudes talking and there’s Winona, her character name is Annalee. There’s Perlman (Johner), he drops a knife into a paraplegic’s leg because he finds it funny. Annalee doesn’t and Johner gets all angry at her bitch ass. I am here to watch Johner be a dick, that’s about it. These people deliver cargo I believe and they get to Arigua and are searched. Johner is a lovely guy. The captain of the ship is talking to the general about money and about how fuckable Annalee is. The captain’s name is Frank Elgyn. So there we go, and he has an awesome gruff voice.
We see a bunch of the same guy in tubes with the alien eggs. One wakes up and yells. Ripley is playing hoops. Johner wants to play one on one. Johner can’t steal the ball from her, so he gets all creepy on her from behind, so she hits him twice. The black dude that is part of their crew hits her in the face with barbells, and she bleeds slightly and whoops his ass. The blood is dissolving the floor.
There is some chick in a thong getting her feet massages by Elgyn. That was short-lived.
Our lead scientist, I think is Gediman, and he is creepy and is showing his teeth to the queen, kinda playing. She didn’t like it, so tried to attack but couldn’t get through the glass. He gets pissed and presses a button which releases coolant, and it is showing that the alien won’t attack again, as it’s learning. Johner is pissed at Annalee for spilling some of his homemade booze. Good for him. She has a spritzer to get into a new wing. The doors are unlocked via breath. Yeah. This is #8’s room. She inspects 8’s scar. Annalee came in to take out the baby alien. Anna says that she can end all the pain and suffering. Ripley plunges the knife through her hand to prove a point that she can’t be hurt. She can heal like Wolverine. Anna wants to stop the alien before it gets loose and Ripley says it’s impossible and that Anna won’t get out alive, and Anna acts all tough saying that she doesn’t care. Ripley tells her to get out. So Anna exits, and General has some guards with guns and General confronts this whole crew. Johner gets pissed about one of them touching him with a gun. Christie is the black badass. He has guns and he is fucking awesome with it! Johner had a badass gun. The crew was going to get killed, but the crew took out everybody. The aliens are getting restless and communicating. Nope, they are fighting. They killed one. And its blood ate through the floor, and the other 2 escaped. Well, good luck with that.
Our fine doctor Gediman just got pulled down by an alien. Sweet. There are alarms for a security breach. One guy is in the room, so an alien pushes the freeze button and kills him.
The crew is going to bail. People are bailing. Ripley is ripping her way out of the room and using her alien blood to benefit. Wheelchair dude shot some aliens, and now he is getting dripped on. They are evacuating the ship. Some officer and another guy get in, but the alien goes in and kills them. The General has one behind him, and he gets decimated. Basically the military personnel are dead. We have the crew and Ripley remaining.
I think Vriess is the wheelchair guy. Anyway, Elgyn is on his own at the moment finding guns, one with slime on it. An alien pulls him down and kills him. The crew finds him, and there is the queen I believe, it was big. The crew tries to get past a door. The alien is distracted though, it smells something. It’s Ripley with a gun that shoots through Elgyn and kills the alien. Nice.
They have a doctor with them, and 12 remain. Shiiiit. Ripley says who does she have to fuck to get off of this ship, and Johner says that he will get her off, haha. Anna doesn’t trust Ripley, and nobody cares what Anna thinks. And they found Vriess. Johner wants to ditch Vriess, and that was unpopular. Vince is the military guy still remaining. I think the doctor is named Wren. The ship is moving back to Earth on auto-pilot. They have 3 hours. Anna wants to blow up the ship. Johner says that Earth is a shit hole.
Johner is talking to Ripley about what she did in the past with these things, she smiles and says that she died. Fair enough. There’s another female named Sabra, she is part of the crew. Ripley stops and wants to go in a room after checking out her tattoo. Here is where the cloning takes place. We see lots of very flawed clones, each closer than before, but each with flaws. Hey, a breast, on a body that is closest to being right, still really fucked up. The clone begs Ripley to kill it. So she takes a flamethrower to it. She burns this place all up. Lots of fire and explosions. Had to make this look cool, right? Ripley comes out of the room looking pissed at the doctor but does nothing, so Anna punches the doctor. Johner was all that fire was a waste of ammo, “must be a chick thing”.
They find more dead military personnel, and it was in the stuff that the crew brought in as cargo apparently. Ripley finds somebody who is alive screaming “get away from me” repeatedly. This dude has no idea where he is, he’s been in cryo. He saw some bad shit. Ripley sniffs him and says to leave him, he’s got one inside of him. She can smell it. This poor guy is asking what is inside him repeatedly, but nobody tells him, so he screams and asks. Ripley explains that there is a monster inside him. The crew steals bodies from cryo, bring them to this lab and they implant people with these things. Anna wants to take him with them, God damn, she is awful.
Christie has to strap Vriess to his back to get through this flooded hallway. They have to go underwater about 9 feet to a freight elevator. 9 feet my ass. More like 90. Aliens are following and Johner nails one but the other gives chase. Sabra gets grabbed, as had been foreshadowed for like 2 minutes, and she gone. They finally make it to the other side, but there is a skin membrane blocking the top opening.
They are now in the egg room. One jumps on Ripley’s face. Johner says it’s a trap and ambush. The one that got Sabra is now back after them. Christie fire some grenades into the egg room. Ripley rips the parasite off her face. They are climbing a ladder. The doctor asks Anna for a gun, she gives it to him, so he promptly shoots her in the chest. Vriess is pissed. The doctor escapes and locks the door. Our alien friend is out of the water. Vriess’ gun is jammed. Christie tries shooting but he is shot in the face with acid. Now Vriess is holding on for both of them. The Alien has Christie by the leg. Johner hangs upside down, shoots the alien. Vriess’ grip is slipping as he is holding him and Christie. Undoes the belt holding him on to Vriess. Vriess and the alien drop.
An alarm is going off. The door opens, and it is Anna on the other side. Uhmmmm, ok. She climbs to be fine. Ripley says that she took it in the chest. Ohhh, she is an android! She is a robot made by robots. Vince is super pumped. Johner can’t believe that he almost fucked her, and Vriess says that it’s not like he’s never fucked a robot. Ripley wants Anna to blow up the ship before it reaches Earth. So they connect her to the ship. Anna says there’s not enough energy to blow it up, so Ripley says to crash it. The scared guy has a bit of a health scare but says that he’s ok. I think his name is Larry.
The doctor is still trying to escape. Anna has overtaken Father as the control of the ship. Boring talk about how each other can go on living between Ripley and Anna. Anna was sent to kill Ripley. They are in the church part of the ship.
They have a lot less than 90 minutes. Johner gets all mouthy at the ladies. God damn, he is fucking hilarious. They start to run, but Ripley stops, she can hear them, and they are close. The queen is in pain. Ripley gets taken gown a grate, and well, we see that she fell onto the queen. The queen is consuming her. An alien is cradling Ripley. It’s like hugging Ripley.
The group has made its way to the ship. The doctor shoots Larry, and he has Anna by gunpoint. Larry is on the verge of exploding. Larry runs to the doctor, gets shot repeatedly and is beating the holy fuck out of the doctor. The alien bursts through the doctor’s head. And now he is shot.
We are in the queen’s lair, and somebody who is cocooned is running their mouth saying that the queen is giving birth for Ripley. The fuck am I seeing? The guy talking may have been a scientist. Queen just gave birth to a fucking beast. Gedimen is saying how beautiful it is. The new one just killed the queen. Didn’t see that coming. New hoss comes to Ripley but sniffs her. Oh, it is licking Ripley’s face. Gedimen doesn’t shut up, he keeps talking to it like a pet. He tells it to come to him. Dumbass. Yup, his head got bit. Ripley is climbing her way out and now running for her life. The crew is all in the evac ship. They are about to take off, but Anna sees Ripley coming. Ripley makes a 10-foot ridiculous leap across a bridge closing. Vriess doesn’t know what the fuck he is doing. Ripley knows how to fly it. Time to take off, but nope, the hatch is still open. Anna goes to fix it. The hatch is jammed. They have 20 seconds to depart. The door closes, but the hoss is in there with Anna.
Anna tries getting away and is hiding. Well, this ship is unstable. The hoss has almost got Anna. Vince is sent to the back to help with auxiliary. Oh Vince, you just got your skull crushed in. He Mountain’d Vince. Ripley goes back to see what is happening. Vriess and Johner are now flying. Hoss is intrigued by Anna and tries ripping into her. Ripley tells Hoss to put her down and he listens. Ripley the cat. Ripley flings her acidic blood at the window and it bursts open. This small hole is trying to suck out hoss. The pressure rips Hoss’ innards out, and he is practically crying. All of him got sucked out. Now Ripley and Anna hold on to each other…..sexually.
The big ship blew up. This ship is getting burnt to hell as they enter Earth’s atmosphere. Why is air pressure suddenly not an issue? They are in the air above the clouds. Johner just kissed Vriess, that was great. How did Johner survive? I figured that he would be dead awhile ago? Anna and Ripley talk about how beautiful it looks. BUT WHY IS THERE NO PROBLEM WITH THE AIR PRESSURE? I am so confused.
End film.
Well, that was a major improvement over 3. I would give that a solid 6.5. I liked it. It had a good plot, not too many names to learn. Yes, Winona Ryder was in it, but she could have been way worse. I liked that we got back to having claustrophobic scenes. The underwater scene was probably my favorite. Perlman is right there with Bill Paxton as my favorites from this franchise. Paxton has the infamous line, and perhaps showed more range, but Perlman made me laugh more. Tough call. I really liked a lot of these characters for the first time since the original. Elgyn, Christie, Vriess, and Gediman all were solid, even the General. I also really liked seeing all the failed clones and the ways that they were deformed. Good stuff.
Final rating: 6.5, as I explained, I liked it better than 3, and almost as much as 2.
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