Categories
Film Reviews Horror

Antisocial (2013)

I know nothing about this, but this is the 4th film I have tried within 30 minutes, and the beginning was solid. Something about an outbreak or epidemic. I am happy with these types of films. This only got a 4.4 on IMDB, so that doesn’t scare me too badly.

The main chick’s name is Sam, and her boyfriend and her are having issues and taking time apart. I loathe dumbasses taking selfies. I wanna start an anti selfie movement. Ohhh, I gotta hold it up and angle it down just right to get my cleavage and the right lighting so my smile isn’t as fake. Fuck that.

So far, this movie is dumb as hell. Sam went to some New Year’s party. Some white chick is flighting with a black guy, oh and she’s blonde. There is no surprises here. Oh, she’s stripping. OK, she has some sexy shit on. This movie is keeping my interest thanks to that move. I bet she would buy him a pair of sneakers and carry them in the mall for the black guy.

Now they are reporting some incidents on the news, maybe a plot can finally pick up.  Back to hookerbot dancing, but no nudity yet.  This could be like a rage virus epidemic. Seriously, still no tits. I just read, no fucking nudity. C’mon fuckheads. This is why I really wish I was making horror films. I know my audience. Some raging dude intervened during the dancing, so black guy shoved him off like the second story of a house. Everybody is supposed to keep their doors locked and whatnot.

Needless to say a friend is asking to come in, but he is bleeding from his ear and nose. So they decide against it. And now one of the 5 people is bleeding. I’ll leave it at that. This movie has pacing issues.

As per usual, the people in the film lack any kind of common sense and act like they live in a bubble where there’s never been a movie or a story about an epidemic of any kind. That always frustrates me. You know those zombie movies where nobody has ever heard of a zombie, but they have smart phones? Yeah, that shit bothers me, it’s fairly insulting.

Another thing to go along with that is with any kind of outbreak, you know that you need to keep yourself as covered as possible until you learn how this stuff is spread. You get blood on you, clean it ASAP. Do not hesitate to put a fool on his back if that’s the difference between you surviving or their last thoughts being that you’re an asshole. If you see on the news, numerous reports of a ton of people experiencing certain symptons that are unusual, and then someone you know is doing the same bizarre shit, that’s when you tune up Boys II Men’s “End of the Road”.

I guess my main point is, don’t come to me during an epidemic unless you are absolutely willing to earn my trust, and follow my guidelines. Otherwise, go find someone else. Oh shit, there’s still an awful movie going on, right?

A good movie allows you to sucked in, even momentarily no matter how big the plot hole, you even start forming arguments to support what you’re watching. And then there’s this garbage. You’d think I’d dig a film making fun of people’s overuse of social media. I am all for mocking people who live vicariously through their phone. You don’t need to take daily or weekly selfies. Nobody wants to see or hear about every meal that you have when you dine out. And if you do, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

Fuck this movie. I tried hard to like it. I tried to get past a lot of the awfulness, maybe it’s so bad it’s good type of film. Nah, it just sucks. There is like a tumor in people’s heads caused by bullshit, that’s what they determine. I think I may have developed a tumor in my brain after seeing this. I give it a 3, and the next movie I see better be entertaining damnit.

I don’t own the rights to this picture or film. It’s from the film, so they are the owners, not me. That picture reflects how I feel at the moment.

T&A Totals still didn’t change at all sadly.

13 Bare breasts

2 bare asses

2 concealed breasts

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