At this point, let’s face it, you know what to expect. People are going to cheat death, and death is going to be pissed and kill them anyway. Some characters from previous installments will be referenced. Don’t expect a very detailed blog here, but more the highlights.
Start Film
Mary Elizabeth Winstead is in this, so that’s cool. She starred in 10 Cloverfield Lane as Michelle, which was a decent film in my opinion, and she will be in the upcoming season of Fargo. Her character is named Wendy. Her and 3 friends are at an amusement park, and there are 2 skanks with their thongs hanging out, and they won an inflatable palm tree. Wendy is getting pics for the yearbook I guess, and that will probably be her premonition vessel. The speaking devil sounds like Tony Todd, and it is. No Bludworth in this apparently. I believe that Wendy’s boyfriend is named Jason, and he talks her into getting on this roller coaster, something like Devil’s Night or Devil’s ride. Frankie Cheeks is trying to be a smooth playa. Ohhh, they’re gonna board the ride at gate 6. How ominous. Jason is with his buddy’s chick and vice versa for the ride. Jason and her are at the front of the ride while Wendy and Kevin are at the back. The Roller coaster has sprung a leak, for some fluid. There are zero likable characters so far. No loose objects on the ride, but naturally Frankie has his video camera. On the ride, going upside down, he somehow drops the camera, and as it falls, it wraps around the track. The fluid lines are breaking. That fluid keep the restraints held down, so that’s fun. The wheels are sparking. Things are going well. SO of the carts just went flying off the track. A black dude is just hanging on, now grabs Kevin, but black guy just got got. And the cart stops while they are upside down, people are dropping. Time to try rocking the cart., going backward. Kevin got it, and Wendy finally falls and wakes up, So she is freaking out and Wendy gets them to let her and Kevin off. Lewis is the black dude, and he and Kevin fight. Some people try breaking up the fight. Hot chicks and Frankie exit. Jason wants to be let off, but they won’t let him. You know how this plays out. And the ride goes to hell, and now all of our survivors need to slowly get picked off.
Yay, Wendy is like a social outcast. Kevin did his research on Alex and flight 180. Julie is Wendy’s bitch of a sister. Ashley and Ashlyn are the 2 chicks, and they are at a tanning salon, and they are going to be the first two victims. No drinks are allowed, they have a drink, now messing with the thermostat. Wendy is getting raging clues at her place. The shelf above Ashley’s bed. Hey, both just got topless. Alright alright alright, and Roller Coaster of Love is playing. The moisture from the drink is dripping down on the the power supply. Uh oh, it’s getting warmer and warmer in there. Wendy is trying to call Ashley, but can’t get a hold of her. The shelf came down and basically locked them in the beds and they can’t open up the beds. They are burning alive. The store owner is locked out as he was taking a call. Things are bursting into flames, and they dead. That was well done.
There was a memorial service, Ian made a big speech about how it isn’t fair and disrupted stuff, so he and Erin bounce. Lewis says that he wants somebody to leave him a PSP at his funeral so he has something to do. Wendy is telling Kevin about her premonitions and how she can feel things. Wendy and Kevin are riding, almost get into an accident, then they are in a drive thru and she has some weird signs about “control of your”, the radio signal changing, something with a mud flap, and a big truck. So this one, dump truck I think, starts backing into Kevin’s car, and pinching them, and here comes a runaway big truck. The car ahead has Frankie in it. Kevin kicks out the windshield just in time, then the trucks hits the car behind, and Frankie gets got via a fan. Now it’s time to try to save Lewis.
Lewis ain’t having it, because he’s the angry black dude in a horror film. The stereotypes are strong with this one. The clue is something with these swords as Lewis is playing football for The Sultans. They are in this gym with everybody getting jacked. The swords come down, cut the cord on the weight machine that Lewis was on, but he missed it, so he celebrates by doing another curl or whatever and gets his head crushed by the machine. Sorry, but that death was meh.
Now we are with Ian and Erin. Ian has a badass nail gun and is killing pigeons as they keep setting off the alarms at the place that they work. Wendy and Kevin show up there. Ian is pretty much telling them how stupid this is, and Erin is trying to play both sides of the field here. They are in a warehouse, lots of things are falling, and a chain is unraveling thanks to a magnet, and there’s a hook, and now antifreeze is involved. There’s a forklift moving on it’s own, running over antifreeze containers, and now pierces the shelving/walls. Ian is still trying to prove these 2 wrong, and going on about Newton’s laws of motion. He says that if somebody killed themselves, it would stop death’s plan. Everything just came crashing down, and Erin just got a bunch of nails in her dome via the nail gun.
By Wendy and Kevin’s calculations, since they intervened and prevented Ian’s death, now Kevin is next, so he’s going to bail for a few hours to be with his dad. Seems reasonable. Ian is stalking them. Joyce just took the charm bracelet and it appears that looking at the photo, Joyce may indeed be next. Wendy calls Kevin, and he’s going to be looking for Joyce. Looking at more pics, Wendy has a picture saying McKinley, like Ian. Kevin’s picture had too much light and he is working at a fireworks show, so there’s that. Wendy is going to try to meet up with Kevin, but is getting stalked by Ian. This is like a re-enactment that Kevin is working at. Kevin just saw a dude dressed as Ben Franklin and says “Fuck you, Ben Franklin.” That was good. So there is an old cannon and the pole that you use to stuff it, and that knocks a cannonball that went rolling away. Kevin has found Julie. The cannonball his one of the trailers that is holding the fireworks. There is a spooked horse and idiots with little firecrackers. The firecracker scared the horse, and it is running. It is dragging the rope and the stake attached. Kevin is still trying to get Julie, but the rope is now around her neck and the horse is dragging her. Kevin cuts the rope at the last possible second before she gets impaled. Wendy asks Julie who sat next to her on the roller coaster, and it was a friend who was with her, and she just got a flagpole impaled in her. Wendy goes to save Kevin and succeeds, but there’s Ian and he is nearby stalking. Ian makes this big speech about how he’s not dying. The trailer tips and the fireworks get shot towards him, but they miss, he mocks Wendy and this big ass platform falls on Ian and kills him.
5 Months Later
Wendy is on a subway, and some dude is singing about somebody being behind you, and she gets freaked out obviously. So she takes a seat. So many death references in cheesy ways, but I enjoy it. Wendy wants to get off at the next stop. Hey, Joyce bumps into Wendy and so Wendy stays in the subway, and Joyce reassures her that things are fine. There’s also a rat eating a candy bar. Wendy sees Kevin and he’s sitting down. What a coincidence. Uh oh, the train is off the tracks and this isn’t going so well. Lots of flashing lights and explosions. I don’t even know who got got, but bodies are all over the place. Wendy is alive with a broken leg. A train comes at her as she laying on the tracks, but it was all a dream. We are back on the subways train and they try to stop it and I don’t think they succeeded.
End Film
Final Thoughts -This one just wasn’t as good as the first two. Wendy was more likable than Kim from the sequel, so that did help. The 2 chicks dying in the tanning beds was actually one of the best kills in the Final Destination franchise. It wasn’t just the tits, but more the way that they caused it, and the way they suffered and struggled. That was horror art in my opinion. The showing of the real roller coaster ride death seemed like it was cut short, but the premonition was good. The ending, I think is my main issue. In a franchise like this, don’t leave us hanging, you need to show it. I hated the lack of follow up on our survivors from part 2 as well. Still, Ian was a good character, and that stuff with the horse dragging Julie was really fun. This is a mixed bag, and for a part 3, you could do wayyyyyy worse. Actually, this is a pretty good part 3 for a horror franchise, and you won’t regret watching this, making it worth your time and money.
Final Rating – 5.8 meaning that it is re-watchable, but you may get pissed at some small things, and the weak ending.
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
- New Line Cinema
- Hard Eight Pictures
- Kumar Mobiliengesellschaft mbH & Co. Projekt Nr. 1 KG (in association with)
- Matinee Pictures
- Practical Pictures
- Zide-Perry Productions
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