Now we’re in business. I do remember seeing these films way back in the day. And the first few are a treat as far as I recall. Let’s have fun.
We have these 2 guys working with skeletons and dead bodies, a middle-aged dude, and this new young guy. They are great. Older guy is telling a younger guy that Night of The Living Dead was based on true events but the director had to change some things up. These 2 are great. And there’s also a group of 6 friends, and they are all dressed as only 80’s caricatures could be.
Freddy is the younger guy. We think the older guy is named Frank. While Burt is showing Freddy some old stuff, trying to show off, he releases some gas of sorts. And that is how we get our zombie apocalypse. Burt is their boss’ name. I’m trying to get names as we go. The gas is reanimating dogs and butterflies.
And we have tits, and ass, ok, she is full out nude with full frontal. This is the same chick that I just saw in Night of the Demons with the lipstick into her nipple. I love her. Her name is Trash. Her leather cad boyfriend is named Suicide. There are now 7 teens and they are killing time til Frank gets out of work.
Meanwhile, Frank calls Burt to let him know what is happening. Burt comes up with a plan, they got a pickaxe and they are gonna open up the door and try to take out the brain based on what they saw in Night of the Living Dead. They need a better plan.
Trash is an absolutely filthy nude whore, and I love her for it. If they would just include nudity in more stuff, perverts like me, wouldn’t be so perverted…..or would I? Burt comes to Ernie who is working on a dead body, breaking out the rigor mortis of a dead body. Burt has Freddy and Frank bring all the chopped up body parts as they are in bags. Burt talks Ernie to burn the body parts, after some persuasion, Ernie is down. Naturally, when you burn bodies, smokes comes out in the air, and then it rains, and well, it’s raining in the cemetery where the friends are all hanging out. You can truly imagine where this goes from here, right? And Trash is still naked. By the way, the rain burned a little bit, so they speculate that it’s acid rain, not knowing the real reason.
Fred and Frank are both sickly feeling. That exposure to the gas has made them quite ill. Raylene just noticed that Ernie’s pant leg is missing as he cut it off well over 5 minutes ago. Seriously, put the phones down during a film people, mostly women, but some guys are just as bad. I kinda hate cell phones, to be honest, people have a dependency upon them, myself included to an extent.
Freddy’s girlfriend, Tina, is looking for him, and well obviously he ain’t there. And now a zombie is after her in this building. The remaining 6 enter the room. Booo, Trash has had clothes on. They go to save Tina, and Suicide’s head is bit. The zombie is smart and crafty. I like smart zombies! OK, the token black guy is named Spider. The other girl in the group is Casey. We have 2 other dudes, one is preppy/nerdy dressed, Chuck, the other is more along the lines of The Lost Boys, named Scuz.
Paramedics show up to help Frank and Freddy. They have no blood pressure, and their temperature is 70. So our teen group is running back to the cemetery and the bodies are coming out from the grave, while some sweet hairband is playing. Trash just got got.
Scuz, Tina, and Spider make it where the old guys are. The paramedics are outside at the ambulance. And they’re dead. Midget Zombie. I repeat, Midget mother fucking zombie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scuz has a sledgehammer! Freddy is having rigor mortis setting in. Good times. Awwww, Scuz just got his head bit. Hey, zombie tits. Hmmm, to count, or not to count? I guess I can’t, she’s not a living person, and I think those were my words why I couldn’t use posters or magazine titties. She (female zombie) is telling Ernie, Burt, and Spider that eating brains makes them feel better. Sweet, Trash just rose from her death, and we can clearly see she has panties, although I feel they were trying to mask it. She just ate a bum. The bums lose! Your revolution. Do as your parents did. Get a job, sir!! Sorry, Big Lebowski moment.
Burt, Ernie, Spider, and Tina are gonna bring Freddy and Frank to the chapel and lock them in there in case they turn. Tina insists on being with Freddy. So we have 4 dead paramedics and now 2 cops are checking on them. This has potential. And they got rushed by a horde of zombies. And each time they kill people, a zombie gets on a radio requesting back up. Too funny.
Freddy just turned, goes after Tina, so the 3 guys save her. We are down to 2 older white guys, a young black guy with amazing hair, camo pants, and the bottom of his button-down shirt is tied in a knot, cause he’s sexy as fuck, and Tina. Spider and Burt make a run for the cop car. They can’t get Tina and Ernie with his broken foot. They are serving a solid distraction. There’s like 100 zombies. Hey, they found their way to Casey and Chuck. Freddy is giving chase to Tina and Ernie. Frank is putting himself in the incinerator to sacrifice himself. Awwww, I loved Frank.
So 3 or 4 cars worth of cops come down the road. A zombie dressed as a zombie stops them, so the cops get out of their car and they all get rushed. Freddy is fucking hilarious. Burt finally calls the number on the side of the contaminated barrel, which leads to the army. They essentially nuke the city of Louisville, KENTucky. And yet, we see a zombie is still alive. AWESOME! Roll credits.
This movie is pretty fucking funny. It is a mindless zombie movie, but with a cohesive storyline. See, I don’t mind mindless if there’s a rhyme and reason. This is a zombie movie done right if you don’t mind some goofiness. I personally love it! It’s one of my 10 favorite zombie movies all time, which may not sound like much, but think of how many zombie films are out there, then think about what percentage of them I have seen, and then top 10 doesn’t sound so bad. I give this a 7.1 because it is so rewatchable. It is quotable. It has a girl nude throughout most of her role. It has some quirky gore. And it knows it’s role and runs with it. Very fun 80’s horror classic. I recommend this to everybody who likes zombie films.
Final Rating: 7.1
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