I have been a huge WWF/E fan since 1989. Not many of the films involving wrestlers have been good. As a matter of fact, aside from 12 Rounds, and possibly No Holds Barred, the WWE films have been awful. I did enjoy others, but they have been awful in the real sense. Then there was See No Evil, and that changed everything. Granted, it helped that it was a horror slasher film. But more importantly, they put the right guy in, Glenn Jacobs, better known as Kane. Kane is one of the best characters in WWE history when done right. He, like his on-screen brother, The Undertaker, have been involved in some of the most ridiculous, over the top storylines ever. But Kane is dependable, reliable, and when given a solid direction and push is amazing. I am excited.
So we have Kane as Jacob Goodnight, the badass from the original. There’s Danielle Harris, as Amy, she was in Rob Zombie’s Halloween movies and is in Hatchet 2 & 3. Then there’s Katherine Isabelle, as Tamara, and she was Ginger in Ginger Snaps as well as Mary in American Mary. And there’s other. Seth has the hots for Amy. Will is Amy’s brother. Then there’s Carter who I think is dating Tamara, he looks like a douche bag. The final chick is Kayla, shes the blonde. Holden is the dude in the wheelchair. There’s the cast.
30 minutes in and jack shit happened aside from Tamara and Carter have fucked and Tamara getting slutty with what she thought was Kane’s corpse. I stopped blogging at this point.
Annnnnnd I’m done.
Final thoughts are as follows: I am heartbroken. The original was far from a masterpiece, but it was a good, solid slasher with decent enough character development, likable characters, a really solid plot where the antagonist’s rationale was explained, and some great deaths, oh and tits. And then there’s this movie. Every positive that I just listed is all but non-existent in this pile of tripe. I’m sorry, I love Kane, his character was solid. That was it. The deaths were shitty. People were dumber than normal, and not in a good or funny way. You really could give 2 fucks about any of these characters. The storyline, well although you didn’t need a storyline, Kane wakes up in a morgue and is pissed. Fantastic. The problem is the setting was so foolish. So at a hospital, there were only 7 people there? That’s it? Nobody else the whole time? You don’t even have to pay extras all that well if they know they’re on set with Kane.
I’m not sure if I will ever watch this movie again. This has to be one of the worst sequels for me ever. You can fuck up sequels so easily in so many ways, and the horror genre more than any other has become an expert at doing so. The thing is, this was a fairly lazy copy of Halloween 2 in some regards. Kane didn’t have his weapon of choice. The deaths….all sucked except the last one, and that was more due to a moral victory for me than because of the actual kill. You don’t want anybody to walk away unharmed. If this was just a film unto itself, it wouldn’t work without more background storytelling. So it has pigeonholed itself into an absolute sequel. I can’t blame the hype, it wasn’t well advertised or anything, and that’s because they knew it was shitty. I give this a 3.2. I don’t recommend this unless it is for background noise. Otherwise, watch something else, and I feel awful saying that.
Final Rating: 3.2
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