After Halloween Kills, I must admit that my expectations are quite tempered. I haven’t heard a lot of praise for this. But we live in a time where the loudest people are often the most negative. In some ways, I like coming into this with negative reviews because I have no expectations. Usually, I can enjoy a movie more that way.
Start Film
On Halloween Night 2019, Corey babysits Jeremy, who is still scared of Michael. But he is watching The Thing, and huge props for that, and a nod to John Carpenter. Jeremy plays a prank on Corey and locks him upstairs. The parents come home in time to hear Corey yelling at Jeremy. Then Corey kicks the door open, and it knocks Jeremey backward, over the railing and he dies. Interesting opening.
That’s quintessentially also the last time that this movie would really intrigue me. So let’s just end it here and I will do a review instead.
End Film
Does anybody remember Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning? Of course, you do. It’s the one after the supposed final chapter, stop me if that sounds familiar. Anyway, they present to us a fake Jason that was Tommy, who may have been possessed by Jason to kick off the new era of Jason. But then in VI, Jason was back to being Jason, and everybody kinda hated V because it was lame, despite a great number of kills, mostly uninspired. This is usually one of the 3 most despised films of the franchise.
I bring this up because Michael did fuck-all in this. Corey does most of the killing. Why would this film take any ounce of inspiration from one of the worst films of a competing franchise? Why would you not just give us Michael just getting a huge number of kills, going balls out, and eventually killing him? Hear me out. This is how I would have made Halloween Ends.
We include a side story about how Michael raped a lady in prison. Or a lady in a cult got a job working there and artificially inseminated herself with Michael’s seed, if you don’t want to make Mike a rapist. I’m good with either option. Michael would kill everyone important to the story aside from Laurie and Allyson. Lindsey would have had a MUCH bigger role. I’d involve more police. Really, let Michael take some punishment. He ends up in a 2 against 1 fight at the end, after Lindsey loses her big showdown. Michael kills Laurie. Allyson kills Michael because Laurie didn’t need the win. She needed to be out. At the end, we see Michael’s son with his parents/guardians and he is moving into Michael’s old house. There, now you can make sequels as desired. Michael gets to get the kill he wanted before getting taken down.
What I just wrote, that’s a better movie than what we got. It’s not good, but I’d prefer it to what we got. This movie took a lot of criticism. Normally, I hate to pile on, but this wasn’t at all what I wanted from this film. That’s not to say that it is bad, but it isn’t at all what I wanted. Not only that, it doesn’t even feel like anything that they had been building up in the previous two films.
I’m okay with it not being what I wanted or hoped for. I’m not okay with it not really going along with the previous 2 films. I seriously want you to just watch the original Halloween and this trilogy. Let me know how well it flows together for you.
This movie was such a complete and utter disappointment for me. If you enjoyed it, if you found value in it, good on you. I’m not being demeaning. I am legitimately happy if you found some stuff here that you liked. There were a handful of decent moments after the opening scene. This wasn’t for me.
Also, what the hell was the point of anything with Will Patton? What a waste of a talented actor. The group of kids, they were terrible!! Corey tried, but was destined to be a terrible character. Why didn’t Lindsey get more to do? Why was Michael so easy to kill? You all watched the same damn movies prior to this that I did. Why was he so lame here? I feel bad for Andi Matichak who seems like she’s a talented actress, but was given this to work with.
Final Rating: 2.8 – I’ll probably watch this again someday but only because I am doing a marathon or a podcast. I wasn’t Kentertained. I want to go to the writers and sit them down like a parent. I don’t want to yell. I just want to look them in the eye with sincerity and tell them that I am disappointed in them.
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