6 years later, we get the sequel that Universal didn’t want to bank, but they were okay with distributing it. Without the casting restriction, Coscarelli brought back A. Michael Baldwin, the original Mike, to reprise his role. According to Reggie, there may have been some disagreements with Coscarelli and Universal which led to this coming out without the III in its title, and with hardly any theatrical run, just short stints in St. Louis and Baton Rouge, it feels like this movie didn’t get the initial love. But then it became one of the 100 best-selling direct-to-video releases, so there is that. Aside from that, I can’t find much about the cost of making it.
This got a 6.0 on IMDB and this is a positive trend for a horror franchise. I have my pancake, sausage, and cheese sandwich and Drake’s coffee cake ready. I am trying out a blueberry Red Bull, it’s okay, but probably just a one-time purchase. Let’s get it started.
Start Film
Mike is in the hospital and gives us flashbacks so we get caught up on the story. I really appreciate them doing this. Hahaha, we see the Tall Man come into the bright room, grab his old body, and then toss it into the portal. And now we see the aftermath of the hearse taking off. Reggie sees a huge explosion, and the car crashes. Liz is dead. There is a Jawa on the scene chasing Reggie, but he’s got his trusty 4-barrel shotty. Mike looks physically unscathed but Liz is a burnt mound of flesh. Maybe just give her a head injury? I know they wanted to write her off, and a Jawa took her head off. The Tall Man shows up with about 8 Jawas. Reggie threatens the Tall Man with a grenade. He says that he will explode himself and Mike, but Tall Man says he will wait. He implores Reggie to take good care of him.
Now hold up. How come there is a functioning nearby hospital and yet a nearby deserted town? It feels wildly inconsistent.
The Tall Man holds a Sentinel and it has a brain inside. Neat-o. A nurse tells Mike to move to the light, where Mike sees Jody. He tells Mike to stay away from the light. Oh, the closed captions on this are a second behind. Then Mike sees the Tall Man, and the nurse is now a demon nurse and is trying to attack Mike. Reggie comes by to visit Mike. He sees a nurse with headphones on, and that is Mike’s wife in real life. He did well for himself. Reggie’s hair game is still on point. Reggie gets a lot of honey mustard blood in his mouth almost immediately upon entering the room. The nurse bursts and the sentinel flies out of her head, startles Reggie, and then leaves.
The next thing we know, Reggie and Mike are in a car and Mike sees Jody on the side of the road. Sooooo, let’s pause for a second. Mike was basically fighting for his life and walked toward the light, then was attacked, but was apparently released from the hospital immediately after and now looks perfectly fine. Did I get that correct? I love these movies. Reggie notes that it’s been 10 years since Jody died. So in real-time, it’s been 15 years, but they say 10, and Mike certainly looks older than 23. He was 13 in the original film. Why not just say 15? The actor who plays Mike was born in 63. So he was already in his mid-teens in the original. He’s probably 30 at this point on screen. Yeah, just say 15 years and it is more believable.
The guys end up at Reggie’s house, supposedly, but didn’t Reggie’s and Mike’s house explode? The one house with the stove and Reggies with the turkey dinner, right? Either way, Jody is at Reggie’s. “Jody, what the hell are you doing here? You’re dead.” The line is bad but Reggie saying it makes it excellent. Also, I know that this can’t be helped, but why has Jody aged? He’s dead, so he should have stopped aging, I think. Windows explode. Mike can’t touch Jody. Jody then transforms into a Sentinel. Tall Man has tracked Jody. The Tall Man enters and there is a great amount of light. He tells Mike that it’s time, my boy. Jody tries to protect Mike but to no avail. Jody’s sphere is now charred. Tall Man has abducted Mike. What’s up with the Tall Man and the bright lights?
Reggie wakes up and finds “Jody the ball”. I’ll let you know if and when Jody returns in human form. Jody tells Reggie “Holtsville”. Road trip!!! Reggie stops at a gas station. The old man who works there tells him that Holtsville has a toxic spill. Holtsville has a population of 0. So within minutes, we go from a fully functioning hospital to a desolate town. Got it. Reggie, you best find yourself a piece of strange. And there she is. She is trying to ransack a car and is dressed like Peg Bundy may have in her early 20s. She pulls a gun on him and then these 2 guys show up from behind and knock out Reggie. They put him in the trunk of the Barracuda and go for a ride.
They end up at a house, and I swear, the architecture of the homes is always very similar in these films. The best part is one of the dudes has this ridiculous dollar sign chain as if he was a rapper in the early 2000s. I applaud this. They go to break in and see 2 old folks in rocking chairs, but they’re just dummies. Then the door seals and they are warned that they’re in trouble. This is some Home Alone shit. This kid, Tim, has booby-trapped the house. Henry is the older of the 2 males. Tim messes up Henry’s leg and sends a tomahawk into the girl’s head. The kid is outside with a razor-bladed frisbee, and he kills Dollar Sin. Henry pulls a gun on Tim, and then he walks forward and falls into a big pit. Tim gets Reggie out of the trunk. By the way, Reggie has the green flannel but now has a purple undershirt. I like it.
Tim and Reggie bury the bodies. It’s getting late and Tim is scared of the lurkers, which I assume are the Jawas, but perhaps the Sentinels. Tim’s dad was the Sheriff. We get the retelling of the story of Tim’s dad’s death, the funeral, and the Tall Man taking the corpse. The mom confronts the Tall Man. The Tall Man opens up the casket magically, and the dead dad wakes up and grabs the mom and drags her into the casket. Tim gets into the hearse, sees his parents, and jumps out the back window. It wouldn’t be a Phantasm without someone diving out of a car. We see a Sentinel with an eyeball that observes. That must be the Lurker, I’m guessing. The pink hearse that the looters drove is gone, along with their corpses. Tim wants to join Reggie on his trip. Tim is also rocking the denim jacket.
In the car, Tim finds a picture of Reggie and his family. They drive past a house with some kids and a woman outside. They’re orphans from Holtsville. Reggie wants to get rid of Tim, despite his usefulness. Reggie pays the lady a lot of money and drives off, but Tim is in the trunk. Reggie drives to the Holtsville cemetery.
Reggie explores, and does every mausoleum have a marble interior? A sentinel finds Reggie. Suddenly a pair of black chicks handcuff Reggie. We have the militant-looking one with short hair and the prettier girl, Tanesha. Tanesha gets got by the sentinel. That was a huge role. This other girl is named Rocky. Rocky has Nunchucks. She hit the sentinel once but it came back. Tim shoots it a few times until it explodes. Rocky ain’t leaving without taking care of business, so Reggie and Tim leave. Reg lets Tim drive for a bit, Tim is pumped.
The next day they see Rocky on the side of the road. This is a solid ragtag group. Rocky says that she’s been through 4 towns that were all wiped out. So I reiterate, how was there a fully functioning hospital in the midst of all of this? They’re heading east now, to Bolton. They’re heading to the largest gothic mausoleum in the northwest. They find a motel at night. We find out that Bolton is a ghost town and an anthrax plague wiped out the sheep farms a couple of years ago. Reggie had the option to get 2 twin beds or one queen. You know ole Reggie, he chose the queen. We get a comedy bit outside where Reggie talks Tim into sleeping in the car and sending Time signals behind Rocky’s back. The comedy worked, I think.
Rocky warns Reg not to fuck with her. Reg has some racing pajamas, I think. He’s fantastic. Now he is trying to flirt with Rocky. She agrees to do it her way, with handcuffs. Reggie, you fool. Now you’re stuck there and can’t sexually harass a vulnerable female. I’m shaking my head. That was amateur hour. I don’t ever let a girl handcuff me.
The next day, they see 3 hearses all driving together. And now it’s night already and the town is actually spelled Boulton. I’m not going back to fix it. There are about a dozen hearses here and guys in gas masks trying to break into the car. They drive off and decide to camp outside. Reggie tells Rocky that the best way to keep warm at night is with 2 bodies in a bag together. I love his moxie. It gets him nowhere, but he tries. Jody floats over Reg. Now Rocky is on top of Reggie, kissing her, but now they’re in a bedroom. Reggie may be dreaming and the real body of Jody may be watching. We have titties, but Jody has to talk about something. Jody disappears and Reggie opens the door and now he’s out in this very bright desert. Jody tells him that they gotta get to Mike. It’s a dry lake bed, my bad. Reggie asks Jody how he gets into the ball. This is just some weird shit with blue and green lighting. Is this the Matrix before it was cool? Now we have a red light and the tall man approaches. The Tall Man has Mike trapped in the wall and tells Mike to use his brain to escape. Tall Man leaves and Jody Ball helps break Mike out. Reggie and Mike bail and grab Jody who is now a ball again. Reggie wakes up to Jody in real life using the ball to create a portal and Mike escapes. Reggie needs to close the portal. The Tall Man’s hands are through the portal. The portal closes and chops off the hands. The hands become something else. Something like when you shed your skin. Then it becomes some creepy crawler thing that attaches Reggie. This is silly, like the giant fly in II. The other hand goes up Reggie’s pants and Rocky stabs at it for comedic effect.
At night, they’re driving and the looters in the pink hearse start ramming the car. They are all demonic. The girl demon tries hopping into the car, gets her head shot, and then is run over. The other two hit a rock and the car goes flying and then explodes, and then explodes again. They served very little purpose. The front tires are blown, so back to the mortuary in town.
They get there and split off into pairs. Tim is with Rocky, Mike is with Reggie. I thought they may try to do Mike with Tim, the denim boys. We see some fog, or dare I say some sublimation, and Mike remembers the Tall Man not liking it when he gets cold. So this liquid nitrogen may prove helpful.
Mike lays on a table with Jody ball on his head so Jody can teach Mike about Tall Man. We see how he creates the dwarves and how there’s a little bit of the person remaining in the bodies, but then transports the tiny brains into the Sentinels. So there’s that.
Tim and Rocky have heated up cans of beans and are eating them with their knives like total badasses. Reggie is sleeping someplace somewhat comfy. How is everyone sleeping so peacefully? Someone has mounted Reggie, he thinks it is Rocky, but it is the female looter, Edna. Tim and Rocky meet with Rufus, the dollar bill guy, and Henry. Everybody was kung fu fighting.
Tall Man senses Mike’s presence and Jody Ball tells Mike to leave now. Angus Scrimm has such great facial expressions, and like over 100 sentinels floating above him. Mike wakes up with Tall Man grabbing Jody Ball and Mike is strapped to the table. Tall Man is happy to see him. Rocky saves her life in a ridiculous way with her nunchucks. It reminds me of the drill in part II. Tim has been captured and brought to Tall Man. Tall Man shuts up Mike and tells Tim that he has plans for him. Reggie is giving Edna a piggyback ride. Rocky tells her “hands off my boy.” Why does everyone with nunchucks have to show off the same way every single time? Reggie keeps getting hit while the girls fight. I think it worked for comedy. These 2 girls fighting is less Kill Bill and more Captain Marvel. That isn’t a good thing. Rocky kicks Edna over the balcony.
Tim uses Jody ball to free himself. Rufus abducts Tim seconds later. Tim stabs Rufus in the head with Jody Ball, Henry watches on and Rufus’ head gets spun off. Henry gets the quad-barrel to the dome. Reggie has run out of ammo. Rocky grabs a metal spear that has the liquid nitrogen and they pin Tall Man to the wall of a freezer. Mike has honey mustard coming out of his head. Tall Man is slowly freezing and shattering. Then a sentinel comes out of his head and chases Tim. Is that a gold sphere? Rocky saves Tim, and Rocky gets assaulted by Edna. Edna has a hole in her head from the golden sphere.
Mike is trying to fix the flap in his head where his golden sphere is embedded. Reggie gets chased by what I want to refer to as Tall Ball, the golden one. Reggie’s solution is to catch it with a plunger, but then it has saws and the group is wrestling with the plunger Tall Ball. They put it in the liquid nitrogen. It’s still bobbing but may be finished. Make shows up with golden eyes. He says it’s cold. Then he runs off and Reggie gives chase.
Outside in the cemetery, Mike tells Reggie to stay away. Jody shows up to give Reggie advice, then becomes a ball again. Rocky pulls up in a hearse and she’s gonna bail because this isn’t her gig. What the fuck is she gonna do moving forward? Tim and Reg gotta find Mike. Tim tells Reggie that Mike told him that there were thousands of them. Reg ain’t paying no never mind. Tim goes into a room while Reg is pinned against the wall by several balls. Reggie tells Time to run. He says it’s all over. Tim aims up a shot and Tall Man comes out and tells Tim that it’s all over. Then glass breaks behind Tim and he is captured. The same ending we have come to know and love.
End Film
After some time to think about it, this one appeals to me as one to watch again randomly and just enjoy the journey and humor. I think that if you watch these movies one after the other, this one may catch you off guard. It doesn’t quite feel right. But if you aren’t binge-watching, this may feel like it feels more at home in this wacky franchise. I can understand some of the critiques, but sometimes people take shit too seriously, myself included.
Final Rating: 6.1 – This is a fun movie. If you are averse to fun, this may not be for you. If you are thrilled to have the original Mike back and have Reggie doing fun Reggie shit, then you will feel happy. It’s like hanging out with some old friends who are flawed, but you’ve had such a good time when you were younger. I feel the same can be said for the rest of the films moving forward. There are more positives here when you sit back and think about it. Solid cast.
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