Here’s the sequel directed by James Cameron, the man behind Terminator 1 & 2, The Abyss, True Lie, Titanic, and Avatar….well you can’t win them all. This cast rivals the original. We have Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, Paul Reiser (really?), and Mark Rolston. I personally like this cast better, but that is because I love Lance and Paxton. I am doing the theatrical version.
We see a spaceship getting closer and closer. Hey, Gale Anne Hurd was involved in this, she’s from Walking Dead. It’s Ripley and she ends up getting pulled into another ship. They torch open her door. They find Ripley and Jonesy. This is a hell of a space station. Carter (Paul Reiser) brings in Jonesy to Ripley infirmary room. She finds out that she has been asleep for 57 years. Jonesy starts hissing and Ripley is in pain. She is writhing in pain. It’s her belly, it rises, and it was just a dream. The nurse asks her if she needs something to help her sleep.
Ripley is telling this group of people in a boardroom what happened. They are talking about her destroying the ship and it cost 42 million. The guy says that they can’t find the creature that she described, and she says that’s because she exploded it. Nobody has any evidence of this creature. Well, she is getting pissed off at getting so easily dismissed. She asks the head guy, Van Leuwen why he doesn’t just go check out where they found the original alien ship, but that place has been discovered 20 years ago. Apparently, 60-70 families live there now. Another movie where everybody smoke. Carter comes and says that they lost contact with that planet, and Ripley is like, really guys? They want her to go with a bunch of space marines. They want Ripley to be an adviser. If she agrees, she will get out of her shit job and she can get her old job back. She is adamant that she won’t go. He gives her his clear plastic business card, all future-y.
She keeps having terrible dreams. She calls Carter to ensure that they aren’t going to study them, but to wipe them out, he says yes, so now she agrees. Awww, Jonesy has to stay. Everybody is sleeping, and it’s time to get up, and Sigourney did not trim her bush as it is peeking out of her panties. They focused on, so it’s not my fault. Don’t look at me like that. Some bitch is doing pull-ups after waking up. They talk about Ripley and are pretty much meathead dicks. Haha, a dude talks about poontang. Hicks (Biehn) asks Bishop (Lance) to do the knife thing. So Bishop puts his hand spread over Hicks and starts stabbing the table incredibly fast. It was cool. Bishop is an android by the way. Ripley is pissed. Bishop says that he can’t harm a human being by virtue of how he is programmed, and she flips out on the poor “guy”. Young Paxton as Hudson, fantastic. He asks what they are up against, so Ripley explains, and rude ass Vasquez, the pull up bitch, decides to interrupt. I hope she dies first. Sarge is an awesome black badass.
The machine they used to move shit, the exoskeleton suit, ain’t that the same shit that he used in Avatar, also with Sigourney? I feel like I am watching a less likable version of Starship Troopers so far. It’s not bad, but it’s not great.
Well, it’s time to go suit up and fuck up some aliens. Why is nobody saying “get some”? Everybody is trying to sound cool. It’s Starship Troopers meets Top Gun. I enjoy that Hicks was napping while everybody else was getting pumped.
So they land and get out. It is pouring rain there. Time to infiltrate a building. I like that Vasquez is in the front. Hoping that she gets it first. They have 2 teams, one on the lower level, the other on upper. I do like how everybody has a camera on them. They are using a sweet motion tracker. Now they are getting split up in groups of 2. Awesome. Ripley notices some holes in the grates on Hick’s camera. She recognizes that shit. Oh boy, they found some big holes. The leader says that the area is secure, and Ripley is like, no it ain’t, but she is blown off. I believe the head guy is Gorman. No bodies were found. So Gorman, Ripley, and Carter are in and they are all just exploring looking for signs.
In the lab, they find some large glass tubes with aliens inside. Everybody is pretty fucking shocked. 2 are alive, the rest are dead. They have movement, and it’s none of the soldiers. Time to go hunting. It’s a little girl, and they shot at her. Hahaha. She is scared, bites Hicks and scurries into the vents. We see where this girl has been hiding. She has a sweet spot all things considering. The girl tries to escape, but Ripley tries to calm her. The girl’s name is Rebecca Jorden. Gorman is questioning her, but she ain’t talking. She is clearly traumatized. Rebecca says that her name is Newt. Newt says that all of her family is dead, and she isn’t safe with the Marines.
Bishop is dissecting an alien. They found a bunch of movement, and they see like 10 on their scanner thingy. So off they go to this next building. The Marines are down to sublevel 2, and the aliens are in sublevel 3. This is looking like the inside of the spaceship from the original. I think this movie may finally pick up.
The marines are exploring the corridors. Ripley has to point out to Gorman that his team is armed with guns that will basically cause a big boom due to a fusion reactor or some shit. Thermal nuclear explosion basically. So Sarge has to take everybody’s magazines, no grenades, just flamethrowers and mean names. So Sarge collects everybody’s magazine, but of course, Vasquez has some hidden and she gonna do what she wants. I loathe her so much. Her first name should be Andrea. I mean, this is insane to not pull them out at this point. Morons. They find a person in like a cocoon of sorts. Lots of people actually. Sarge has a really good voice. I want him to do my voicemails. They find something alive in a cocoon. There are convulsions. And a chest exploder. They burn it. They are getting surrounded. Ripley tells Gorman to pull the team out. They see signals of movement all around. There’s one killed. Let the action begin! Vasquez is firing like an absolute moron. Gorman is trying to give Sarge some instructions, but he can’t hear shit. Shit, Sarge just got got. Ripley is yelling to get them out. Gorman tells her to shut up. This team is getting worked.
Gorman won’t do shit, so Ripley says fuck it, she’s gonna drive there and do some work and Gorman is pissed and fighting with her. The vehicle is like a really shitty batmobile. Drake just got fucked up. They are loading the Marines in the vehicle. She runs an alien over after it tried getting in. OK, they are out. The vehicle is fucked up a bit. Gorman got knocked out. Hicks made it, so did Vasquez. Sarge and the others are being cocooned. You over confident fucks. Ripley wants to take off and nuke the site and eliminate the threat. Carter says that this place cost a ton of money. Carter can’t authorize it. Hicks is next in the chain of command. Awesome. They decide to take off and nuke the site to be sure but to Carter’s dismay. Where’s Bishop?
So they radio the ship to come to pick them up. The pilot tells her copilot to get in, but he sticks his hand in some slime. Well, that’s gonna be bad. She tells him to get moving. So she goes to talk to her copilot, he isn’t responding, the door opens, and of course, it’s an alien and she is in the air flying. She gets got. The crew see this and go hide. Lots of explosions.
Hudson is so whiny and says that they are in some real shit now. Newt sounds sad that they aren’t gonna be leaving. Hicks with his famous line of “That’s it, man. Game over, man. Game over! What the fuck are we supposed to now, huh, what are we gonna do?” Ahhh, classic. Newt says that they need to get back soon as it’s close to getting dark and that is when they come out. They look over their remaining supplies inside. We find out that it will take 17 days before a crew will come looking for them. Bad odds. Hudson is freaking out.
Ripley orders Hudson to create a map that shows all the entrance points. Bishop will keep up his analysis and check on Gorman. Newt is very much into this as well. So they have a game plan and know where to seal tunnels and whatnot. Hicks gives Ripley a locator, just in case. So did they just basically replace Jonsey with Newt? Ripley lays Newt down for bed, and Newt is afraid of bad dreams. SO Ripley looks at the doll and says that Kasey doesn’t have bad dreams, so Newt shouldn’t either. Newt promptly informs Ripley that Kasey is a piece of plastic. HAHA. Ripley gives Newt the locator bracelet.
So now they are trying to figure out the deal with the parasites taking over the colonists. Ripley wants the 2 that are still alive to be killed, but Gorman told Bishop that they are to be protected, and Carter is telling her that they are worth millions and this way they all become heroes. Man, the flaws in his logic. Now we find out that Carter is the one who sent all the colonists to this planet and he is trying to deny any responsibility, but Ripley ain’t having it.
Why is Vasquez still alive? They need to align the dish to get a signal to remote pilot the ship. Bishop volunteers. He is going by himself, crawling through a tiny tunnel. “Stay frosty”, another classic line. Hicks is teaching Ripley how to use these new guns. Hey, Gorman is awake and walking. Ripley checks on Newt, but she is gone……under the bed. It’s weird seeing Lance as a calm good guy.
So Ripley is laying with Newt under the bed, and she sees some movement. She wakes up Newt, and a little guy is in there trying to jump on Ripley. The doors won’t open, and they are in a soundproof room. Ripley waves at the camera to get Hicks’ attention, but Carter turns off the monitor because he’s a greedy dick. They can’t break the glass. This is tense, I like it! Ripley sets off the fire alarm. The parasite drops on her. It wants her. Another one is after Newt. They bust in for the rescue and eventually tear it off of Ripley. That was awesome. She says that it was Burke (Carter). Carter was trying to impregnate the girls with the embryos, the free the marines during sleep so he would still make it back and make $$$. Well, the marines are livid. Burke is trying to talk himself out of it. Hicks wants to waste Burke, but the power goes out. Gorman is to watch Burke, and now they are tracking for movement. Hudson sees that they are in the complex. Well shit. They call Hudson and Vasquez back. They weld the door shut. There is a shit storm coming. Newt says that they need to go.
More of a countdown of distance, I love countdowns. They figure out the aliens are above them. Shit, there are a bunch. Burke runs like a coward. They are trying to get to medical, but Burke is sealing them in because he’s cool like that. Hahaha, Paxton talking so much shit, until he gets dragged below by a big boy. They escape past the one door, and Burke sealed a new one, but Burke just got got, haha. OK, time to take the vents per Newt. So we only have 5 plus Bishop. The ship is on its way in 16 minutes. Perfect. Vasquez has the rear. Newt is leading them out. But she keeps going. Vasquez got attacked. Gorman goes back for her. Now another one comes up the block his exit. They are both out of ammo. They use the badass grenade. The explosion causes Newt to fall down a shaft. We now have Hicks and Ripley trying to save Newt, and she has the bracelet at least. She is a level below them, so they have to cut through. Oh boy, the meter is going crazy, a small army is on its way.
A big boy is in the water with Newt. Shiiiiit. She booked it. All we see is the doll’s head. Ripley is saying that Newt is alive, but Hicks says that they have to go. Time to use an elevator. An alien attacked, they shot it, but it squirted out its corrosive goo onto Hicks. He is hurt. The ship has made it down. Ripley and Bishop get Hicks in the ship. Time to do some work. Ripley is taping guns together. I like where this is going. Ripley takes some grenades. They have 19 minutes and she is going to look for Newt. OK, only 15 minutes. That gun set up that she has is a solid endeavor. She’s got a ton of ammo and now has 14 minutes. She has her flamethrower out, and time to look for Newt. Well, it is smokey/steamy, it’s quiet, it’s claustrophobic. It’s what you came for, right?
She’s back to sublevel 3. She keeps shooting out short flame bursts which I totally appreciate. We have the heartbeat sound going. She is where Newt should be. She finds the tracker on the floor. Newt is in a slimy cocoon, and she wakes up. An egg hatches nearby, she screams, and Ripley goes running. There are a few of these bad boys. She frees Newt. There’s a big explosion. Shit is going down for real. They end up in the egg room. So who lays the eggs has been the question. Now we see this huge clear tentacle, and the mother of them all, and they are like 5 feet away. Momma ain’t happy. She shows her teeth. We see 2 more of the normal sized guys. Let’s light it up! Momma is fucking huge. She pulls back some. Ripley and Newt back away. Another egg hatches. Ripley is just burning all of the eggs and shooting shit. Her ammo is running low. She is firing off grenades. This is great. Momma frees herself from the tentacle and is giving chase. Only 4 minutes. Now we wait for the elevator. The elevator is slow. Momma is there. The elevator arrives and Ripley is flaming Momma. Down to 2 minutes. They get there, and no ship. The gun is out of ammo. Shit is falling apart. Lots of lightning and flame. The other elevator comes up and it’s the momma. There’s Bishop and the ship. They crawl up the small ramp.
Bishop gets stuck but frees the ship. Dramatic flying exit out of the inferno. HUGE explosion as they get away. Bishop says that they made it, but we still have like 5 minutes, and never saw momma. Hicks is fucking worked. Bishop apologizes for scaring them with not being there. We see Bishop get impales by the tail. Yup, she’s still around. Poor Bishop. She ripped him in half. Momma is like 15 feet tall. Ripley tells Newt to run while she distracts big girl. Ripley makes a run for it and closes a door. Bishop is still sort of alive. Newt is hiding under a grate, and the Alien rips the grate, so Newt crawls, and more grates, more crawling. Here comes Ripley in the big ass exoskeleton. It’s fight time! They go back and forth. Ripley has opened a trap door and goes to drop the Alien, but the alien holds on. Now Ripley is down there, but the exoskeleton is pinning Alien down.
Ripley opens the bottom door, which leads to space. Bishop’s top half starts getting pulled in, and Newt is hanging on for dear life. Ripley, I don’t even know how she is holding on. The alien has a hold of Ripley’s ankle. That’s a lot of weight and pressure on an ankle. The alien loses its grip. Newt does too. Bishop saves Newt. Ripley climbs up the ladder and closes the door. Bishop makes a one-liner. Now Bishop and Hicks are in the infirmary. Ripley is back in her panties. Time to put everybody in a deep sleep. Ripley is now sleeping in the next pod over.
End Film.
I really enjoyed this film’s second half. I don’t understand why it is rated almost as high as the original though. That is insane to me. In typical James Cameron fashion, he stretches things out too long, and yeah I say that knowing that I need to shorten my blogs. I do the same thing he does because we think what we are doing is important, but it can be trimmed down a bit. The space marines were off putting a lot of times in my opinion. To see Paul Reiser in that role was actually really brilliant, same for Lance as an android. I think if they had cut Newt completely out, they could have trimmed this film by 20 minutes very easily. I liked Newt, but she was not terribly important, and it is better to have an entire ghost town to me than to have one survivor who doesn’t even describe how they survived. I want details then. Once the story got going and the cliches weren’t hitting me over the head, I loved it. The first half was a 5.5 out of 10 while the second half was 8.5.
Final rating:7.0
Best death scene: I wanted it to be Vasquez, and Burke’s may be the consensus, but I will take Hudson as he was talking so much shit.
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