I knew better, I did, but I pushed on an watched another shaky cam film, and you can imagine how it went. Here’s the most basic of synopsis that I feel like providing.
Scarlett is some person who specializes in alchemy or has majored in it or whatever. She is after The Philosopher’s Stone. This thing grants eternal life as well as turn metals into gold. She gets a group together to find this location. She then gets even more people involved and they explore the catacombs below Paris. People start dying one by one as they near the gates of Hell and their own personal demons. Yup, about sums it up.
It’s like the writers saw National Treasure and read about the catacombs and tried to write up some plot. I have some real gripes aside from the basic shit, which is a lot. But let’s tackle 2 big fucking issues. They translate some shit from the Aramaic language. It’s an old language. 1. When George is translating stuff, why does it end up rhyming in English? Do you mean to tell me that just happened coincidentally? 2. There is a bit about the number of the devil being 741, so Scarlett surmises that they must travel 741 feet below the surface. Why the hell would it be in feet when most of the rest of the world uses the metric system? Yeah, this was clearly written by a dumbass, OR someone along the way changed it. The final outcome still stands. Neither of these things are practical in any way.
There are some decent moments. I simply wouldn’t invest that much time to find the handful of moments that you may like. Do you want to sit through 90 minutes for 3 minutes of cool shit? Nope!
Rating: 2.7 – Just don’t waste your time. The random shit that they find is fun at times. The constant riddles that they figure out, it’s so irritating. Poor writing.
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
- Legendary Entertainment (presents)
- Universal Pictures (presents)
- Brothers Dowdle Productions (as Brothers Dowdle)
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