Cube is one of my all-time favorite films. I wait and wait and know that a sequel is due out. I download it as soon as I can as I couldn’t find it for a good price at the time. So the quality wasn’t that good, and I watched it and hoped to find answers to my questions. What happened next? That’s what we are here to find out. This happens after the events of the first Cube. I would love a nice trilogy package on blu ray, but for now, my DVD’s will suffice.
Woah, people on hospital beds, wrapped in plastic as we get a scrolling overhead shot. This is already different from the original. We see somebody’s memories of like a medical facility and the name on the tag is IZON. A lady (Rebecca) wakes up, and the cube room walls are very bright white with some silver accents and a black door. She goes through one door and is immediately sucked upwards. Get used to that word, suck.
I can say, right off the bat, I hate the looks of this cube. The other one had this industrial feel to it. This is too modern, space-age shit.
We are back in the cube with a middle-aged dude in a suit and tie, is missing one shoe and sock. He has a briefcase, and it’s empty. He is upset saying that he wants a chance just like everyone else. His face looks like he has been beaten up. He starts praying. Note this for Cube Zero if you watch these in order.
Kate comes into a cube room, or I will just say room from now on, and finds Simon sleeping on the ground. She checks his pulse, and he attacks her and has a knife put to her eye. He is very nervous, asking her if she has any people with her. She has been in 3 rooms, he’s been in 5 or 6. They hear noises, the rooms are shifting, and a door is opening, it’s Max on the top door, and Simon puts the knife up to Kate’s throat threatening to kill her, just for show, but Max closes the door. Then he shows up at a side entrance, leaves, then another side entrance. He keeps leaving before they can grab him. She opens up the door and he’s gone, so she goes into the room, and Simon goes to follow, but the door closes. She reopens the door, and now he’s gone. Yeah, it’s this type of movie.
Kate enters a room to meet a blind Asian chick named Sasha, who is obviously scared. The floor opens up, and there’s Jerry. Simon is marking a door hatch, and he has been going in circles. They go in a room and Max is holding a guy up who is lynched. Simon now shows up. It’s the suit and tie guy trying to hang himself with his belt. He is Col Thomas Maguire, the guy in the suit and tie. Max knows a little something about Thomas. They analyze how beat Thomas is, and he has cigarette burns on his hands. Another door opens, and it’s Mrs. Paley, who is lost and thinks that she is in a gym. She is an old crazy lady who is out of her mind, but super sweet. Sasha keeps talking about how they are going to get them. The question is where are they and how they solve this, and Paley wonders if it’s Hell. Simon wants answers from Thomas, but the room keeps getting hit by waves. Thomas says to figure out the code, find the first room. Let me just say this, they realize they need the first room. One wall is like holographic and slowly coming. Thomas handcuffs himself to the wall, everybody escapes. The wave just destroyed the briefcase. Kate insists on trying to help Thomas because she’s dumb. She goes through the hatch, looks back and sees herself at a hatch across the room. The wave is still coming, so they have to keep moving basically.
We have a montage of Jerry marking doors. Mrs. Paley asks where Kate came from, as if she’s never seen her. Jerry says that he was subcontracted to make the doors. But he doesn’t know much other than rumors of quantum teleportation. Oh boy. Paley just recognizes on the ground, a shape of a tesseract. That is some sort of a hypercube, yup, name of the movie. A tesseract is a little complicated, but this quote I just found is a good explanation: “In geometry, the tesseract is the four-dimensional analog of the cube; the tesseract is to the cube as the cube is to the square.” and that was via Wikipedia. Now there is new writing on the ceiling. Paley knows her math shit. Max just found a chick in the next room, and gravity has shifted.
The new chick is Julia. She’s unconscious at the moment. Now she is up, she’s in a red dress, and she is the closest thing to eye candy. Jerry and Simon are making a rope out of their clothes to get Paley out. Julia asks if they have been kidnapped. Well, that is a dandy of a question.
Jerry is from Lincoln, Nebraska and we get to see everybody in their normal lives, and he is an engineer. Kate is from Maine, and she’s a psychotherapist. Simon is from New Haven, he’s a management consultant. Max is from Colorado maybe, and he is a video game developer. Sasha is from New Mexico, and she is a student. Paley was taking the dog for a walk. Julia is an attorney in Santa Monica and comes from wealth.
Kate just found the same 60659 but with more numbers. Simon found a watch and it’s an exact replica of Jerry’s watch. It even has the same inscription for his anniversary. Paley is checking out a new room. The guys go and check, there’s a body of a guy who is dead, and has a bunch of numbers written on his body. Paley and Max recognize that it’s Dr. Phil Rosenzweig, and Paley mentioned that he won’t be getting his Nobel prize now. He is a physicist in quantum chaos. Paley’s dog’s name is Izon, and Izon is a weapons manufacturer and Jerry and Simon are familiar with Izon. We finally find out that Paley was a theoretical mathematician, and she used to Izon research affiliates, and her dog’s name was Skippy. She now mentions Alex Trusk, and he is some mega-rich person. Paley is crazy but knows a lot too, it’s a matter of getting that info.
Paley opens the bottom door, and there is a Paley on the other side, who grabs her hand and asks for help. Simon 2 just killed the Paley 2 and said not to trust her, and then the room killed him. Paranoia ensures, and this movie is only going to get more convoluted.
We get more info on Alex. He programmed a virus that destroyed the Tokyo Stock Exchange. He broke into the air traffic grid and crashed to 2 jets to protest military spending. He was the first superhuman bred in a test tube. We find out that Simon was investigating some lady who worked for Izon. Sasha says that something is there. Sure enough, there is a diamond-shaped object in the middle of the room and gets more sides and it’s tough to describe. Paley had a name for it and it almost attacked her, Jerry pushed her and he got hurt instead as it grew more angles. It cut Jerry, and now is bouncing off the walls. Jerry is dead, and Kate refuses to leave Sasha behind, and then the door closes, so we have just Kate and Sasha and thing is taking up a good chunk of the room. This is really bad. The thing shrinks and then it expands. It responds to their movement. Yup. Sasha is without her glasses now.
Sasha asked if anybody died, yup, Jerry. Simon has Paley on the ground and tells her to drop the act and has his knife out. She is tied to the floor. Clear spikes are coming in this room and Simon tries to save her, but he can’t and she hangs on to him and he barely survives. Max and Julia are running away in a room with slow motion.
Kate is trying to figure out 60659, and Kate theorizes that it may be a coordinate. Max is stuck on the idea that Alex is behind all of this. Max and Julia realize the time speed change. Simon is just waiting and Jerry 3 comes in and doesn’t know Simon. Kate and Sasha end up in a room where the characters are all there as skeletons. Max asks Julia if she can keep a secret. Max developed this time change idea as part of his game. Julia is pissy. He couldn’t sell it due to a lawsuit with Cyberthrill, and she is a lawyer and tells him to settle. Cyberthrill is a subsidiary of…..Izon. Sigh.
Simon is collecting Jerry watches. He’s also hearing people talking, but not seeing people. Hey, it’s upside down Jerry. Sasha feels that she should be able to get out, and we find out that she blew the whistle on them, and she went the one place where they wouldn’t follow, in the cube. Oh, and she is Alex Trusk. Julia kisses Max, and they start making out. This whole thing is inane. If it wasn’t for seeing her tits, I’d be superfly pissed. Simon has a new Jerry watch. Suddenly Rebecca Young comes in, she works for Izon. She’s the girl that Simon was hired to find. So they hug, and he stabs and kills her. Good for him.
Kate finds lynched Thomas in one door, finds Julia and Max floating and spinning in another room. Thomas just appeared in the room, then appears in the next room. Simon is with them now and has captured Alex/Sasha. Simon just snapped Alex’s neck. Simon looks great. Kates got all the Simons. It’s as dumb as it sounds. 60659 is an expiration date per Kate and then this cube will implode upon itself, but hey, she found the exit. At 60659 she makes the jump. This movie is infuriating. She lands in a new room. Nope, just looks like a room, she’s in water and is being helped up by some guards of sort and they are in this big ass warehouse/hangar type building, and there is a row of guys all just standing in the distance. Some guy welcomes Kate back, and he is glad that she figured it out. He is wondering if she got the device, which was Alex’s necklace, and she has it and hands it over. I t may have stuff recorded on it, and then a guy behind her executes Kate. The guy gets a call and tells the person that Phase 2 is terminated. That’s it, really, that’s the end.
End Film
This movie is just not a worthy sequel. In its own right, it’s fine if you take away the Cube title. The thing is, this takes everything we know about the original Cube and the prequel, this doesn’t fit in that timeline in my estimation. Aside from there being people in control, a cube, and prayer, there is nothing that connects this to the franchise. With that being said, in order to fully understand a lot of the math stuff they are talking about, you’d have to have taken college courses or at least research it as I did. It came off kinda smug and self-important and reminded me of Inception. That’s a bad thing. Still, I have seen this 6-7 times at least by now, so I must rate accordingly. This disappointed me, but it was pretty I must say, which may or may not be a good thing.
Final rating: 5.7
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