Leprechaun 3 is where they decided to just go crazy and have fun. Some of it works, some of it doesn’t. I’m upset because I know that I wrote blogs on the whole franchise. Yet I can only find the first two. So instead, I get to slog through 4 very uninspiring films and Lep In the Hood. I don’t know how Leprechaun Returns is, so that is a giant question mark.
Leprechaun 3 features Warwick Davis and a bunch of people whose names you may not be familiar with. Tom Dugan is in it and he was also in Hellraiser: Bloodlines. That is also the name of a friend of mine and now I am just wasting your time. I have some strawberry toaster strudels to indulge in. Here’s a fat man pro tip. Once your strudels are toasted, lay the packets of icing on the actual strudel. This will make the icing the right consistency and texture. You’re welcome.
Start Film
Leprechaun 3 takes place in Las Vegas. Here’s a legitimate question, has any horror film been good that takes place in Vegas? How many films have been set in Vegas? Con Air is the best one and that is only the end. The Stand is another one. This dude with one leg and a hook for a hand brings in a statue of the Leprechaun. He says that it brings good luck and the owner makes a joke. He is also told not to touch the medallion. Of course, that is the first thing the guy takes is the medallion and Leprechaun comes to life and leaves behind his pot of gold. Oh, sir, you’re in for a good time. Lep bites the store owner, Gupta, who is Indian and then says that he likes Indian food. His toe gets bitten off. The Lep fears the medallion so he gets out but accidentally drops a coin on his way out.
Leprechaun 3 was the highest-grossing direct to video film of 1995. That is interesting for some reason. We meet Scott for is a bit doofy and Tits McGee, I mean, Tammy. She will be the sexy girl for this film. “Have you ever blown a rod before?” In 2020, I feel uncomfortable making the joke that I want to. Gupta looks up Leprechauns on his computer. Ahh, mid 90’s PC’s are a treat. And Lep now realizes that he is one coin short. The girl who played Tammy only has 3 acting roles and this was her highlight. How did she not get more gigs? She’s very pretty. Haha, she quit acting after this film and then became an intern for the Howard Stern show.
Scott is on his way to school but wanted to check out a casino, but he’s underage. Tammy will hook him up. Gupta is making poor life decisions. Just like me! Lep aims a cupid statue at Gupta and he is aiming at Lep. Gupta is attacked but survives and sticks the medallion into Lep’s mouth. Father Bob is rolling the dice real nice. The Great Fazio is the magician that Tammy works for and Loretta is in her mid-30’s and isn’t ugly. Hahaha, Fazio wants to be referred to as “The Great one”. The Rock ripped Fazio off. Mitch is the main boss and he tells everybody to do their jobs. Loretta is a roulette dealer.
Scott keeps wandering. You know he’s gonna end up gambling, despite Tammy telling him no. He has his tuition and housing money from his parents, $23,000. There’s Art! He and Tony are trying to get money from Mitch. He owes someone money. Gupta and Lep are both drinking. Gupta makes him an offer. He wants half of Lep’s gold for the medallion. Gupta, ya done fucked up and got yourself killed. Scott has blown all 23 grand. Well done, jackass. Tammy looks amazing in her black attire. She’s out performing tricks. Fazio is a terrible dancer. The trick gets a few claps. Scott is going to pawn off his watch that his grandfather gave him for graduation. Scott isn’t a smart one and he’s supposed to be the hero of this. Gupta is still fighting with Lep and getting strangled. He wants his schilling. With Gupta dead, how is he supposed to find his coin? Scott calls the cops about Gupta. Scott hears the computer say that each Schilling will grant a wish. He wishes he was back in the casino on a winning streak.
Mitch is pissed at Loretta for this winning streak. Mitch closes the table down. Mitch offers the kid a free room. Tammy sees Scott with his winnings. Tammy tells him to cash in his chips and go home. He wants to share the winnings with her. When she is done with her next show, she will meet him in his room. Lep just walked up to a limo with an Elvis impersonator and they both did impersonations and danced and, I have no words. Fazio performs a trick for Lep, but Lep turns the toy bunny into Lep shit. Loretta and Fazio are scheming to get Scott’s money.
Lep is gaming and Art and Tommy visit him. They try forcing Lep off the table. He turned Tony into a slot machine. Scott gets a shower instead of keeping the money by him. Fazio breaks in and steals the gold coin and throws down a cloud of dust. In comes Lep, and wants his Schilling. He bites Scott’s arm, so Scott stabs him in the head and throws him out the window. Scott sees that the coin is missing. In the mirror, Scott sees himself growing weird hair and now he is in pain. Fazio brings the coin to Loretta. Now Mitch steals the coin from Loretta. Haha. Mitch calls her fat, she calls him fat, he says that he could get any girl in there, she suggests Tammy, and so he wishes for Tammy to be in love with him while he is holding the coin. The acting is top-notch. Oh, the lady playing Loretta was in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. She was Stretch. Tammy is getting very rough with Mitch.
Art and Tony just wasted at least a minute talking about socks and underwear. That’s what this film does. It wastes your time but just interesting enough to keep your attention. Tammy is going to make Mitch burn while she dances. Loretta breaks into Mitch’s room. Will Tammy go full topless? Come on, don’t tease us. Loretta steals the coin and Tammy is back to normal and knees him in the balls. He fires her. Scott finds a meal and that steak looks fucking gross and Scott is only interested in the potatoes.
Lep makes the TV turn on in Mitch’s room and some blond chick talks to him by name and shows her knockers. Scott is now busting into rhyme and eating all types of potato dishes. When he rhymes, the lady asks if that is from Metallica or White Zombie. She’s my favorite character based on how short her appearance is. Loretta reveals to Scott that Tammy is in Mitch’s room. Lep on the TV as a personal injury lawyer. Scott finds a crying Tammy so Scott is going after Mitch. Now Lep is a televangelist, then a psychic. The girl then becomes a robot with fake boobs. Mitch gets electrocuted. Scott and Tammy find a dead Mitch and an angry lep. Art and Tony break-in as Scott and Tammy bail. Lep beats up Art and Tony and Scott is growing facial hair.
Lep senses the coin is with a woman’s perfume. Loretta wishes to be sexy and beautiful again. The change isn’t all that impressive with the short hair. She still has a pretty face. And now her tits are up where they should be. She shows off her bod to Fazio and he steals the coin. Fazio wishes to be the greatest magician in the world. Good wish. Lep makes Loretta’s tits and lips grow huge. Oh, and then the booty. She could be in a hip hop video in the mid-2000s. She then explodes.
Scott and Tammy are at the pawnshop and learn that you can kill a leprechaun by destroying his gold. Tammy grabs the medallion and Scott freaks out. Scott finds the pot of gold. Tammy wants to destroy it and Scott doesn’t want to because he’s becoming a leprechaun. Tammy’s acting is on par with Dorothy LeMay’s in the 1982 porn classic, Taboo II, but I find it endearing. I’m with Adam Corolla who also loves that film’s soundtrack. A leprechaun’s gold can do him no harm via wishes. Jesus, they are going to drag this out for 15-20 more minutes. No thank you. Is Lep’s pot of gold also technically Scotts gold or does he need his own gold? They go to the hospital and Lep tries to hitchhike.
Lep is now dressed up as a doctor. Lep gets into the morgue and then gets on the speaker for Tammy to come to the morgue. Some of these doctor jokes are not bad. Still better than 80-90% of modern-day comedy films. Scott now has magical powers like Lep. Oh my, this is getting so bad. Tammy is being restrained and Lep wants to cut a bitch. Here’s the Scott and Lep showdown with rhymes and amazing jokes. Tammy gets the upper hand with the medallion and now Lep is after Fazio to get his coin. Fazio’s attire is as bad as Lebron James’ ego.
Lep interrupts the magic show. Now Lep is getting all of the applause. Lep gets the crowd approval to saw Fazio in half. Fazio thinks that Lep is bluffing about sawing him because there are witnesses. So Lep cuts him in half to teach him a lesson. The crowd is horrified. I’m horrified that this is like the third time that I’ve seen this. Scott and Tammy barge in and the crowd disperses and it’s pure pandemonium. Tammy found the schilling. Scott uses the blowtorch but Lep teleports. Lep offers up the pot of gold to join his side. Why didn’t they ever give Lep a child that was better than the Seed of Chucky? Scott torches the gold and this causes the pot to simply disappear while Lep flies into the air burning? The fuck sense does that make? Oh, and Scott’s curse is lifted. Tammy still has one gold Schilling. Good for her. Tammy has everything that she wants so she throws the Schilling away. Scott does one last bad impersonation.
End Film
Fucking A. This should be the last time that I ever see Leprechaun 3. Two out of the three times were for review purposes. It’s just not a good movie. It’s not awful, but even as you are watching it, you wish you were watching something better. It is actually great as background noise though because you can randomly watch for a few moments and get caught up to the storyline. John Gatins, who played Scott, he tried but he annoyed me more than anything. Looking at his IMDB, I have liked exactly one film that he was in, and that was Varsity Blues, and that’s really very average and it had nothing to do with him. NOTHING! His role was “Smiling Man”. We know Tammy’s history and Loretta’s.
This was more comedy than horror and I don’t like that in a slasher. I still want the balance to favor horror. The only exception that I can think of is Tucker and Dale vs Evil. That was also well advertised to be a comedy first. Leprechaun 3 is part of a horror franchise, so it’s very different. Aside from Warwick Davis, there simply isn’t much to work with. I liked Tammy, but I think she knew this wasn’t for her. And the franchise has new depths to sink to because we’re going to outer space next.
Rating: 4.3 – You can have fun with friends to laugh about it together. By yourself, just don’t do it. Not enough substance here to bother.
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
Blue Rider Pictures (producer & executive producer)
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