I think this film is pretty solid, but I am not crazy about overused jump scares. You can see where I am going with this. The whole gimmick is a story and a series of jump scares. The story is good. The jump scares are good, but they are overused.
We start off at Wells Textiles. There are mannequins. I fucking hate mannequins. They creep me out in large groups in video games. Paul is getting a call from his son, Martin. Paul is at work. Mom isn’t feeling good. She’s been talking to herself. Paul says that he will be home soon and will help mom get better. Esther checks on Paul and he tells her to close up for the night. I like Esther’s attire for some odd reason.
Esther is outside the office, in a hallway of sorts. There is a rack of clothes. There are small round ceiling lights that only show a small circle of light. She sees a shadow but when the light is on, there is nobody. Lights off, there’s a figure, and back and forth like 5 times. This frightens her. Fuck that, after try #2 I’m the fuck outta there. Paul is now on the phone, I think with his daughter, Rebecca. Esther comes in, pretty frightened and Paul is so focused on the phone call, so he tells her to just leave. Here’s what kills me. He is kinda dismissive to Esther. She leaves and he goes back to the phone, presumably to continue the important conversation. Nope, he says: “I’ll be home in about a…an hour. Okay. Yep. Bye.” Seriously? You couldn’t have just finished that and talked to Esther? Anything that happens to you, sir, is officially on you for being rude.
Sure enough, he goes down the hallway, he hears something. He sees the shadow figure. The lights go out and then come on and the figure has moves closer. He runs, falls, fucks his leg up and the figure is 6 feet away but can’t enter the light. So he runs to his mannequin office. Naturally, the lights go off but at least he has a baseball bat. The door handle is turning and it opens. Then he just gets hit and says Woah and we see him in the light all bloody and dead.
Real talk time for a moment. If all you care about are the scares or the horror, that’s it. That is the same thing that you will get all film. There’s still a story here but the horror is exactly what we just saw only in different locations and lots of lights and darkness and shadows. I feel that is a fair warning.
We are at Rebecca’s apartment and her shirtless boyfriend, Bret, wants some more of her sweet ass. I can’t say that I blame him, she is very pretty, and he’s a young horny dude. It’s what they do! She ain’t having it, so she’s gonna shower. No, there will not be any nudity, so lower those expectations right now. Shame because the female leads are both attractive, but this isn’t a film that I would expect nudity. She ain’t letting Bret spend the night. I love her bedroom posters and artwork. Oh, Bret plays the boyfriend card, and she won’t even let him keep a pair of jeans there or even one sock. Why does he have the girliest of socks? He left one there. She kisses him very quickly, goodbye. She already found the sock and tosses it out the window.
Paul looks very familiar. While he was in Red Riding Hood with Amanda Seyfried, who I adore, I apparently know him as Bella’s father in Twilight. I feel like I owe a walk of shame or push-ups or something for that knowledge. I’m hungry. We have pumpkin bread here, but I am not a big fan of pumpkin-flavored stuff. I hate the pumpkin fad, thank you very much basic white bitches. I do like pumpkin pie and maple-flavored pumpkin seeds. That is about it though. I have some Ritz crackers. They are the garlic butter ones. I am too lazy to put in my mozzarella sticks into the oven. So time for my cracker ass to eat some crackers. Per the rule of racial jokes, I have been told that it is okay for me to have made that joke but not for others. How dumb is that?
Martin sees his mother, Sophie (played by the great Maria Bello), talking to herself. She’s a bit crazy. “Did we wake you?” Hahaha, I am not sure if she is aware that she is crazy, in this moment. She tells him to go to bed and he sees a darkness in her bedroom that freaks him out. The door handle is turning and shaking. The lights are flickering. This poor kid.
At school, Martin is in the nurse’s office and the nurse can’t get a hold of Sophie, so she calls Rebecca, who arrives with Bret. Emma is there, and she’s with Child Services. Paul was actually Rebecca’s stepfather. Emma asks if Martin is sleeping well, but Rebecca doesn’t know. Martin fell asleep in homeroom for the third time this week. Emma tries to offer Martin help. He says to Rebecca that this is why she left. Martin wants to spend the night at Rebecca’s, and Bret says “Good luck, buddy.” Haha, good line.
Rebecca won’t let Bret in to see Sophie because she’s crazy. Martin says that Diana keeps visiting. Apparently Sophie did the same thing when Rebecca’s father left. Rebecca asks Sophie is she has been seeing her therapist and that is a resounding no. She’s also off of her meds. MArtin is packing up clothes. He definitely wants to go home with his sister. Martin looks inside his mom’s room, but the shadow is there and frightens him. Sophie is doing the crazy mom routine. Rebecca is gonna have Martin stay with her. Sophie doesn’t like this idea.
So many great posters on the wall. I am really enjoying the Ghost one, in particular. There’s Avenged Sevenfold Hail to the King, most are kinda blurry. Bret thinks that Rebecca is doing this to punish Sophie, so Bret gets asked to leave. Martin asks Becca if Mom is crazy, does that make them crazy. It’s a good question.
At night, Rebecca wakes up and Martin isn’t in bed. She tells him to turn on a light switch, but she is seeing the shadow in her doorway. It goes to jump on Rebecca and she runs for the light switch, just in time. Rebecca, don’t you know that you’re supposed to remove the makeup before you go to sleep? In the bathroom, she finds Martin sleeping in the bathtub. with flashlight.
Rebecca’s apartment number is 29, so that will get a nod from me. Emma shows up at the apartment asking about her taking Martin. Emma says that Rebecca can’t do this. Sophie called Emma to make this visit. Rebecca doesn’t like this. It’s going to require court battles and then adoption, all kinds of shit. Emma looks around at the apartment and doesn’t think that Becca can be a responsible guardian, but at least Martin got some sleep.
Rebecca picks up clothes from the ground and sees the name DIANA carved on her floor and a stick figure drawing. We get to have a flashback of young Rebecca dawing pictures of herself with her mom and dad, happy kid stuff. Is that a Macaulay Culkin poster on her wall? I can confirm that is a Richie Rich poster on her wall, and the math adds up. The film came out in 94, the actress that plays Rebecca was born in 1986. See, this is the type of analysis that you don’t get elsewhere. Also, I decided on an Everything bagel with jalapeno cream cheese after I stared down the Ritz crackers. As a kid, Rebecca hears a noise in her closet. She finds her drawing with Dad kinda blacked out and DIANA is there now.
Rebecca has Bret over to give her a ride and Bret wants to talk. She just wants to get to her mom’s/ She says that Diana is real. They let themselves in and look for Sophie. There are parts of this story that remind me of The Pact. Rebecca finds a picture of Sophia and Diana, Diana is shaded under an umbrella and they were younger.
Rebecca finds an audio recording about Diana who has extreme sensitivity to light, She also gets violence with other patients but has a thing for Sophie. The doctor asks Diana why she attacked Sophie and she replies because Sophie was getting better. The doctors tried some therapy on Diana because the skin condition was worsening. They tried heliotherapy, basically, hey bathed Diana in full-spectrum light and then died/disappeared.
Bret opens up some curtains and there our shadow friend again. Rebecca looks in her old bedroom, or maybe it’s Martin’s and the lightbulb is missing, then she finds the old drawing and the door closes. We hear a voice say to stay away. “I won’t be sent away again.” So moving forward, we are going to refer to the entity as Diana. Diana lifts Rebecca off the ground and Bret opens the door. They get outside.
Sophie seems to be better, wants to have a movie night, “just the three of us”. Martin isn’t happy. Why is she making the kid watch Auntie Mame? It doesn’t even sound good, but especially for a young boy. It was made in 1958. That popcorn looks good, but I am quite full. Sophie decides to pause the movie, turn off the TV so it is dark and tell Martin a story about Diana. Sophie says that the news had it wrong and then Sophie feels bad for abandoning Diana. Diana gets mad that Martin is scared and hits Sophie. Martin rans out of the house.
Martin makes it to Rebecca’s place. He tells her that Diana touched his hair. Apparently, Paul was doing research on Diana. Diana was out when she was 13 years old and locked in a basement. Her father killed himself. There is writing on the wall “She is in my head”. People thought that she was evil and could get into people’s heads. She made Sophie think that they were friends. They think that mom is the last connection to this world that Diana has. They want to try to help Sophie rid herself of Diana.
There’s a knock at the door, and nobody is there. More knocking, this time from inside the apartment. Rebecca checks the closet and turns the light on first and then Martin starts getting dragged underneath the bed. Time to visit Sophie for a chat.
That pizza looks like Digiorno Pizza, not like a pizzeria. Rebecca tells Sophie that Martin says that Diana was here recently and Sophie agrees. Rebecca pulls out a picture of Diana and Sophie. Sophie gets all defensive. Sophie doesn’t want to believe that Diana is dead. Sophie is really crazy. Then she tries to guilt Rebecca. “Ghosts aren’t real.” per Sophie. Bret looks about as uncomfortable as you’d expect.
Martin doesn’t want Rebecca to call CPS because Sophie is still their mom. They are going to spend the night at Sophie’s. Time to safeguard the house keep it super lit up. Martin wants Rebecca to sleep with him. So she agrees. I feel really bad for Bret, but at some point, you need to get away from a crazy bitch or her crazy family. Bret, you say that you aren’t going anywhere, and this gets him a reward. He can keep stuff in her bottom drawer. He is pumped. Rebecca tells Sophie that they are spending the night and Sophie looks like shit. She wants to start things over with Rebecca tomorrow in the morning. Sophie gets pulled back in her room, but she hands Rebecca a note saying “I need help”.
Rebecca is now in the bathroom looking through the pill bottles and the light flickers. She couldn’t find the medicine.
At night, the power shuts off. Fortunately, Rebecca has one of those crank flashlights. She looks for Bret who is outside looking at the lights being off. Rebecca decides to go downstairs, alone. I’m sorry, but this is where this movie gets crazy stupid to me. It’s not at all realistic to stay there is they believe in Diana. The crank light goes out and Martin wakes up and is scared. He has a candle at least.
At this point, this movie unfolds exactly as you’d expect. 15 minutes of seeing Diana because it’s dark everywhere and Paranormal Activity style drags. Sorry, it sucked in Paranormal Activity and it sucks here as well. Martin got dragged, but he finds his sister. They realize it’s a trap as Diana locks them in the basement.
Bret comes in the house. I was worried about Bret’s well-being at this point and he sees Diana and she attacks. He wards her off with his cell phone light until it stops shining due to inactivity. It’s not about shining light away from you, but rather on you. Diana is attacking outside and picks him up. Before she can slam him, he turns on the car lights and he is dropped. He leaves.
Rebecca and Martin need to find more light. Sophie is now awake and looking for people. Sophie is pissed and told Diana not to hurt her children. Sophie is aware that Diana needs Sophie, so she’s not completely wacky. Time to take some pills, but she gets dragged and the pills are on the floor and Sophie is knocked out. Rebecca is burning stuff in the basement. Martin finds a blacklight, nice find. Rebecca is going to split up and go looking.
She sees a handprint in the basement on the wall. Now she is scaring herself. Oh my, she found a lot of writing on the wall including stuff like “Just like the hospital”, “Trapped down here in the dark”, “Trying to take Sophie away from me”, “Just like father”, and more that I wish I could read. Oh, and fucking mannequins. Yup, there was the big jump scare. Diana gets too close, but Martin shines a light on her and burns her skin. The dark light doesn’t affect her, but it allows them to see Diana and then the flashlight can hurt Diana. Sounds like a plan.
Bret has brought at least 2 cops with him back to the house. He tells them that they need flashlights and they dismiss him and tell him to get back in his vehicle. Cops in horror movies are so terribly stupid. At least they are using flashlights. They hear Rebecca and Martin screaming for help in the basement. Sophie finally wakes up. She tells Diana that if she hurts her kids then she won’t speak to her ever again. The basement door is open, and then the female cop sees Diana in the kitchen. Okay, the male cop got taken down and the effects were cool with Diana disappearing every time that he fired at her. That was a cool idea. He’s down. The female officer radios for help.
Rebecca offers the black light to the cop and she naturally refuses it. Rebecca wants to leave, but Martin insists on saving Sophie first. We see Diana holding up a dead cop. Bret comes in, Martin goes to him, and Rebecca is gonna try to get mom. Diana tells Rebecca to stay away or else she will show her where she put Rebecca’s father. That seems fair. Diana is behind Rebecca but Rebecca burns her a bit before Diana tosses her down to the first floor. She goes for the kill, but Sophie stops that shit. Rebecca tells her that Diana killed her father.
Sophie fires the gun and Diana says that won’t hurt her. So Sophie turns the gun on herself and tells Diana that she doesn’t exist with Sophie. Diana runs in slow motion and Sophie puts a bullet in her bubble goose. Rebecca is crying, Bret is trying to comfort Martin. Rebecca is impressed that Bret came back.
End Film
This second time around, this movie was a bit of a slog to get through. It’s only 80 minutes including the credits, but it took so long. If I could grow hair, I feel like I would have grown a beard during this. While this is my second viewing, this is for review purposes. That is quintessentially my get out of jail free card. If the second viewing is for review purposes, I can still rate it under a 5. Alas, that is what is going to happen here. A relatively strong story isn’t as enjoyable the second time around. The whole idea of this, I don’t know. It all sounds great in theory. In execution, it bored me. I wish I liked it more. I wanted to love it.
The acting was pretty decent. I’m still not sure why Bret stayed throughout the whole film, but good on him. Maria Bello was truly the star here and did a great job being crazy. I thought that Martin was played really well and was quite believable. Maybe someday I will watch this again with fresh eyes and enjoy it more. For now, I am giving it a strong 4 but not 5.
Final Rating: 4.8
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
- New Line Cinema (presents)
- RatPac-Dune Entertainment (in association with)
- Grey Matter Productions (as Grey Matter)
- Atomic Monster
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