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Film Reviews Horror

The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

This film has a small cast mainly featuring the father and son duo of Brian Cox and Emile Hirsch. Then there is Jane Doe, played by the beautiful Olwen Catherine Kelly. Everybody else has relatively small parts. This is a very simple premise. They do so much with it though. It’s currently on NetFlix, as of October 2019. This will be my third time watching this year. I have no shame in this.

We start at the scene of a grisly murder. There is a forensics team. There are at least 2 dead bodies. We have a sheriff and he is called down to the basement. They have found a beautiful nude woman buried in the dirt. It doesn’t look like a break-in, but rather that they were trying to break out.

We are now at the Tilden Morgue & Crematorium run by Tommy with help from his son, Austin. They are working on a very burnt body. This film is not for the squeamish. Tommy likes to quiz Austin about the causes of death. He’s trying to teach him properly on how to think about these things. Tommy says “Everybody has a secret” and that is the crux of the film to an extent. Austin is looking forward to seeing a movie with his girlfriend, Emma. The last film that Tommy has seen is The Notebook. I found that pretty funny. Tommy still misses his wife. That much is clear. Of, how could I forget Stanley? He is their cat and he likes to catch critters and bring back his trophies.

Austin is closing up and Emma scares him out fo nowhere. It was a good jump scare that just got me because I’m a forgetful fool. Emma wants to check out the morgue firsthand. She wants to see a body. Austin ain’t having it and says that his dad is way too strict. Tommy tells Emma to pick one. She picks an older lady, and now she wants a different one. Tommy is standing there with a grin. There is a bell attached to Louis Tannis’ toe and that is because back in the day, it was sometimes difficult to differentiate a comatose person from a dead one. If the coroner heard the bell, they knew something wasn’t right, and Tommy is a traditionalist. Louis has no face because it was shot off. She asks why and he says that it’s all about finding the cause of death, not the why. She wants to see the head and lifts the sheet slightly and Tommy scares her by ringing the bell.

Austin makes fun of her for being scared, so she tells him that he isn’t getting laid tonight. She shut that shit down fast. He then bribes her with popcorn and Sour Patch Kids. That is how you treat a lady. They get ready to leave when the sheriff, Sheldon, shows up. Austin volunteers to stay and help his dad, but Tommy wants his son to go out. Austin feels guilty about ditching his dad so he is gonna ditch Emma instead. Definitely not getting laid tonight. She asks him what his father is gonna do when he leaves, but Austin hasn’t told his dad about his plans yet. Austin tries to convince Emma to return in a few hours, and he gets a maybe.

Now to meet Jane Doe. She had no ID, no fingerprints in the system, no nothing. Stanley is growling. Sheldon is hoping that they can attempt to explain this girl’s existence at the crime scene. He needs the info tonight so that he can address the press.

Tommy records everything on camera. Now Jane is laying on the table, very, very naked. I have to give the actress props for being comfortable with this. Nothing appears abnormal externally, but she does have cloudy, greyish eyes. No rigor mortis. She has a very tiny waist. Her wrists and ankles are fractured. They find peat under her nails and in her hair. It’s normally found up north, they are in Virginia. Her tongue has been severed crudely, not surgically. Tommy mentions seeing something similar 15 years ago with human trafficking.

There is blood coming out of her nose, and now a fly. That was interesting. She is missing a molar on the lower left side. Tommy finds a string in her mouth. I would suggest that you stop reading this now if you want to enjoy the twists and turns in this film. It’s only about 80 minutes and totally worth your time. There will be spoilers eventually here, so you have been warned. On the plus side, there is no external seminal fluid present. Time to swab her area. She is torn up inside, deliberate cuts.

Time to do some internal examinations, starting with the heart and lungs. There is a storm outside, like usual with any good horror film. The radio is crackling and it plays this creepy song about letting the sunshine in. I love and adore the song. The song is called “Open Up Your Heart”. How timely!

I don’t own the rights to this video. Please support the artists who made the song.

You’re welcome. Now I have to get back to the film after hearing the whole song.

Tommy cuts her and is bleeding heavily, which is unusual. They are taking so many samples to send to the lab. Tommy wants to rib cutters, but Austin is seeing a bunch of blood leaked out of the fridge. Tommy suggests that her waist is small due to a corset. She has severely blackened lungs. Her heart has marks on it, like cuts. More marks inside her. The lights keep flickering. This isn’t just a kill, it’s about making the person suffer.

They hear a noise, and Austin inspects the sound, assuming it’s probably Stanley or possibly Emma. He looks up at the corner mirror and sees a person standing there. He looks around the corner, and there’s…nobody. Is this Lights Out? While cutting her more, Tommy accidentally cuts himself. The noise is coming from the vent. Austin is startled and falls and it’s Stanley in the vent. Stanley is very hurt. Tommy looks heartbroken and then snaps Stanley’s neck. That was a tough scene. Tommy incinerates Stanley and needs a minute.

One of the body drawer doors opens on its own. Tommy mentions how Stanley was one of the few things that he still had of his wife’s.

Time for stage three of the autopsy which deals with the stomach and gastrointestinal stuff. He opens up her stomach, I think. He pulls out a flower. It is Jimson Weed which can paralyze. The flower comes from the northeast. The radio talks more about the storm and Austin wants to work on this in the morning, but Tommy is staying and finishing. Tommy then pulls out this piece of fabric with a tooth in it. The fabric has a shroud or design on it. XXVII is also on it. The tooth is hers, and they think it may be ritualistic, like a human sacrifice. Tommy says that you can’t have this type of death without other signs. The radio talks about how bad the storm is. “On thing’s for sure. You’re not going anywhere.” Then we get “Open Up Your Heart” again. Austin thinks that they should get out of there. Tommy is too intrigued though.

They pull pack her skin and there are a lot of marking on her inner skin. Sooo let the sun shine in..and the door starts closing, and the lights just exploded pretty much. The doors to the dead bodies are all open. Tommy now wants to get the fuck out. It is safe to say that business just picked up. The generator has kicked on, so we have dimly lit halls. There’s a loud thud and the old sycamore fell on the cellar storm doors. They can’t get out. Austin has no cell signal. I’m sorry, but I am so sick of this not having a signal thing. It’s in half of all horror movies from the past decade. How about no charge or dropping the phone? Something other than no signal.

They lock themselves in the office. Tommy calls Sheldon for help. Sheldon can’t hear him though. Then they hear a bell jingling. Austin looks under the door and there is a jingle and shadows. Someone is trying to get in through the door. They put a filing cabinet against the door. Austin says that it has to be her Jane.

Tommy needs to ten to his wound. In the bathroom, the curtain is moving unnaturally. Austin is kinda talking to himself. Tommy looks and nothing, but then something knocks Tommy to the ground. Austin checks. Then at that moment, the filing cabinet is knocked over and the door is open. Tommy is hurt. Tommy says all of these theories are impossible, but they have to figure out a plan.

Out in the hallway, Austin finds a bloody towel. The flickering lights ass to the tension. They go back to the main room. Tommy shines a light and is noting that what they took out of her is rapidly decomposing. Tommy wants to cremate her now. There’s a plan! The doors close instead and lock. Austin grabs the emergency axe to break the door down. He stares at the hole that he made and a dead someone was there. Austin says fuck it and starts dousing the body with something flammable and Tommy lights the match. The flames shoot up and spread like crazy. Far more than they should have so they extinguish the fire. Most of their hard work has been burned. Jane hasn’t been harmed at all, no burns.

Then they hear the elevator. They see the elevator doors were open and run but it closes. The body with the bell is roaming the hall. Tension builds. Tommy has the axe and the ringing gets closer and closer. The elevator doors are forced open by Austin. They get in but can’t close the doors. The ringing gets closer and finally, the body is there and Tommy buries the axe in the person. They then check on the body and it was Emma. Tommy killed Emma and Austin is naturally upset. The elevator isn’t going anywhere, but the marks on Tommy’s torso are looking worse and worse.

Tommy says that he always called his wife Ray because she was his Ray of sunshine. Tommy laments all of her suffering and his mistakes. Both guys have now lost their woman. Austin asks why she hasn’t killed them yet. Austin things that there is something that she doesn’t want them to discover about her. The idea is to go back in to figure out why she died and maybe that could help them learn how to stop her. These two remind me a bit of the dynamic between Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix in Signs. I don’t know why.

The fire has caused a lot of smoke and they get separated slightly. A body scares Tommy and Austin sees figures. Tommy is getting hurt and is on the ground in pain. Austin finally gets to him. It’s time to examine Jane’s brain. The sawing off the top of the head brings back Saw 3 flashbacks. All the other organs were scarred, what will they find with the brain? Under the microscope, the blood and everything is still moving. They think that she is still alive somehow.

Austin is looking at the cloth and folding it and they realize that it says Leviticus 20 27. If you know anything about the Bible, you know that Leviticus has some very interesting things in it. Austin now sees 1693. The passage in the Bible reads “Any man or woman who consults the spirits of the dead shall be put to death for they are a witch and their blood shall be on their own heads.” and this happened in the northeast, so you can figure out where this is going. I mean, I just told you. Salem witch trials for someone who still isn’t getting it.

Tommy says that witches are a myth. He talks about how the “Witches” were just innocent kids. They tortured Jane, but it didn’t work as expected. Tommy hypothesizes that maybe “the ritual accidentally created the very thing that they were trying to destroy”. He thinks that she can feel everything done to her and she wants them to feel it too. This explains Tommy’s torso. That’s why she is keeping them alive, part of her revenge!

People who have been in her path haven’t fared well and nobody could have gotten close enough to figure out what they have discovered. She is still suffering and it won’t stop until she gets her sacrifice. Tommy won’t fight her, but wants Austin to be kept safe. There are some elements of Lights Out present in this film, oddly enough, if you think about it. Tommy is in terrible pain. His wrists and ankles shatter. She is healing while this happens, bush and all. The blood is receding back into her. Tommy is on the ground in severe pain and wants the knife. Austin stabs and kills his father. It was an act of mercy. But…we will come back to this in just a minute or two.

The lights come back on, it appears that everything is normal. The radio plays. Austin hears Sheldon yelling for him. Sheldon is say that they are sawing the tree down. Austin lets him know that he’s down there. He tried the door, but it won’t open. “I can’t. it won’t.” It should open, but it is stuck. Sheldon keeps telling him to open up. Then the moment and Sheldon sings “Open Up Your Heart” in the best scene of the film. Austin turns around, sees his father and falls backward and dies from the fall.

The next day, Sheldon and the officers are there and inspecting the carnage. The raido says that today is the 4th straight day of sunshine, beautiful weather. All the bodies are back where they belonged. Sheldon wants Jane out of his county. They load her up in the van. The driver is talking to his lady friend on the phone and the radio changes to “Open Up Your Heart” while he drives. We see a close up of her feet. Her big toe moves and we hear the bell jingle.

End Film

What a fantastic treat. I can watch this film every year with no problems. This is technically one of the 3 best witch films that I have ever seen. Suspiria is there and I’m not sure if the last would be The Witch of The Last Exorcism. I could also be forgetting one. The pacing is perfect. It rarely, if ever, wastes your time. Everything happens for a reason and keeps happening. The mystery is unraveled at a great pace and keeps a great creepy vibe throughout. As I said in the beginning, Brian Cox and Emile Hirsch owned this movie. They were superb.

This film has great acting, a great set that is small and compact, creepy lighting, a mystery from beginning to almost the end. Some people may not understand why Austin had to die. The reason is that he killed his father and stole her sacrifice, so he had to be sacrificed. It all made a ton of sense. It was never raining. Jane was in control the whole time. I would call this film one of the 10 best horror films of the 2000’s. That is how high my opinion is of it.

Final Rating: 7.9

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