Categories
Film Reviews Horror

Shivers (1975)

This movie is from the 70’s and it’s one of David Cronenberg’s first films. He directed The Fly, A History of Violence, and Eastern Promises. Here’s the synopsis from IMDB.

The residents of a suburban high-rise apartment building are being infected by a strain of parasites that turn them into mindless, sex-crazed fiends out to infect others by the slightest sexual contact.

I expect to see lots of hairy 70’s nudity, and hopefully some fun violence.

The first chick in the car, although she has the 70’s look, she is quite pretty.  That’s a good sign. So we have our happy couple checking into an apartment complex. In another room, some crazed older dude is chasing a younger girl, I don’t think she’s an adult, and he got her and strangled her. We don’t know why. Not sure if she’s dead or passed out. OK, the girl must be of age ad he just ripped her top off and we have boobs.

In another room, there is an extremely hairy gentleman.  His woman is wearing no bra, nips are pointing at him. No complaints. The old guy is cutting up the topless girl. OK, it’s time for me to shut up, keep track of breasts and violence and a modicum of story.

Ohhh, they said escargot. Yup, Big Poppa is playing in my head. There’s a dude at the doctor’s office. The cute nurse tells him to take his shirt off and the doctor will be in in a minute. He tells her that she can stay. I love old perverts. He’s a hairy man too. This one lady doesn’t believe in wearing a bra apparently. Meanwhile, her husband has a parasite growing in his abdomen.

Well, the nurse is nude. Her areolas are much bigger than I would have guessed. I go into way too much detail sometimes I am sure. But they were maybe B at most, and well over half the breast was areola, but she is beautiful. Miss no bra finally exposed a breast. Up to 3.

Hmmm, there’s a first-person perspective scene at one point. Interesting to see back in mid 70’s. Another pair, we’re up to 4, like the 4 Horsemen of the Breastacolypse. That is trademark pending. Up to 6, a blonde and a black girl. Wow, that got real real fast. 2 dudes in really tight undies, one pair is yellow, the other blue. Tremendous. Oh boy, does a soaked wet white top count? You can see everything. I say yes. Up to 8. Up to 10. Up to 12 and a bush. I just started screaming, “There’s the bush, did you see it?” Yeah, living with me is a treat. I got pumped because we were thinking we’d have bush 30 minutes in, but never got any. And end.

So basically, there was a parasite that made people sexual zombie-esque beings that went around trying to make out or fuck whatever they could. That really sums up the movie. I don’t really know what else to say. It kept me engaged, but I don’t think I’ll ever see it again. I am giving it a 6.2 and recommending it if a 70’s sexual zombie parasite movie sounds like your thing.  I don’t know what that says about me. Not much at all. Oh well.

Final Rating: 6.2 because it sticks with you

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