Categories
Film Reviews Horror

The Woman (2011)

Rest assured, Paranormal Activity 5 is coming along later today. But I am waiting. In the meantime, I bring to you, The Woman. I really enjoyed this movie when I first saw it. I came across it after watching a film called The Exam on Netflix. I may have also seen this on Netflix first, or maybe I rented it or whatever. Either way, my girl Angela Bettis is in this as well. You may recall her from the May as well as the remake of Carrie from 2002 that nobody seems to remember existing. The reason why is because it was a TV movie, and sadly wasn’t all that great. The male lead is Angela’s husband in this film, played by Sean Bridgers, and he’s a very likeable actor.

So the premise is that we have the Cleek family: Chris (dad), Belle (mom), Peggy, Darlin, and Brian as the 3 kids. Then there’s the Woman, who IMDB describes as the last remaining member of a violent clan that has roamed the Northeast coast for decades”. Chris captures her, but not before we see her boobs. That was quick! And if they weren’t filthy, they’d be pretty nice.

Chris wants to civilize her with the help of his family, but as you can imagine, this doesn’t go well. Chris is kind of a self righteous prick that forces his family to do some unusual things. Chris reminds me a bit of Bill Paxton’s character in Frailty. Brian blindly follows his dad, and the women folk tend to ask more questions. The best villains are always the ones who actually believe what they are doing is actually good, not for personal gain. You get the feeling that Belle is always on the edge, and if it wasn’t for her kids, she may just leave this guy.

Peggy takes after her mom, very subservient but asks questions and feels a sense of unfairness. And Darlin, well she’s young and naive but awesome. Brian treats objects like women. He cruelly put gum on one of his female classmates hair brush, then when she noticed it was stuck, he offered to help by ripping it free. He’s seen the way his dad treats women, and dad is creating a monster.

I almost forget Peggy’s really hot teacher. Yeah, uhmm, she’s hot. Carlee Baker, not bad at all.

Chris’ methods of civilizing The Woman will be cruel. She is a fighter, and a biter, This is typical horror in the fact that the woman is in peril and the guy is evil. That is something that has been engrained in horror for such a very long time. Chris just repaid The Woman the favor for the finger biting.

I absolutely adore the relation between everybody in the family. It’s a perfect storm for what is to come. I won’t give away much more, just know this is really a well done movie with some quirky lines, but with lots of dark undertones.

Belle asks Chris if they should really be doing this thing with The Woman, and he’s brushing his teeth. He quickly and casually slaps her, not any anger in his expression, just continues brushing his teeth. This is clearly how their relationship rolls, and she accepts it. The epitome of the all American family, but behind closed doors, things are not what they appear. Granted as bad as the dad is, it’s almost like the Sons of Anarchy dynamic where for 4 or 5 seasons, Jax ends up being even worse than his predecessor in Clay.

I really enjoy the soundtrack to this movie too. Nothing popular, but it’s good. Now that she’s nice and clean, and full frontal nudity, my male constituency will be much more pleased I’d guess.

I’m just realizing that Lucky McGee directed this, but Jack Ketchum has a writing credit. Jack enjoys tying up women. The Girl Next Door remains one of the few films that has permanently scarred me, not because it wasn’t good, but more because it was based on some true events. It’s just vile that shit like that ever happened, maybe not in that exact way, but damn. Also, there’s a movie called An American Crime that has been highly recommended to me by an old dear friend and it tackles the exact same story.

Wow, the big outburst at the table scene, is it’s own type of terrifying or brutal, whatever you wanna call it. The way it was done, while disturbing was masterful as well. Actually, by the time that Brian is in trouble at the kitchen table, from that point forward, the movie takes a drastic dark turn.

I can’t recommend this movie highly enough, but with the warning that you may not feel good about life afterwards, It really paints guys in a bad light, yet, unfortunately assholes like that do truly exist. I lived with one for far too long of my childhood. Good job dad, way to be awesome! I am giving this movie an 8, without any hesitation. It’s definitely a movie that you should see.

Breasts Total Updated!!!

36 Bare breasts

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