Categories
Film Reviews Horror

Zombeavers (2014)

I expect this to be absolute trash, but I know damn well that half of you who have Netflix and watch some horror and have wondered, how bad can this be? Time to find out.

The opening with Bill Burr and John Mayer was quite funny in all honesty. How they came up with that tandem, I do not know. This whole thing may be garbage, but it gets a point for that scene alone.

I’m not done yet, but I can write a fair review with less than 20 minutes remaining. You end up with 3 girls and 3 guys in a cabin basically, and there is a chemical barrel that causes the nearby beavers to become “zombified”. There is a story where you have the horny couple, who do have their moments of comedic relief. The serious couple, and the couple that just broke up because the guy was caught kissing a girl, who is later revealed to be too serious couple girl. There’s an old couple with a couple of good lines, and a middle-aged guy who wants the girls to be decent and not show so much skin. He is a good character. The girls are nice to look at, and I feel that is a selling point to this.

Let me just be honest, this movie was made with the lowest common denominator crowd in mind. Fans of the Fast and Furious franchise would stick their nose up at this. This has some low brow, very little wit, pandering dialogue. I sit here and imagine people in their teens and early 20’s that think that Vines are entertaining and have merit. These people live for YouTube and would rather watch people do things than to do it themselves. These are the people who like the garbage realm of the entertainment industry. That’s who this film is aiming to please. We have had some solid horror comedies in the past, like the great Shaun of the Dead or Tucker and Dale vs Evil. Those were well done, although I do understand why some may not enjoy the latter. So If I really am blasting this “movie” you can speculate how bad it is.

Don’t watch this. It’s not gross, or anything nasty, but it’s just dumb as fuck. I give this movie a 2.7. I mean, unless we get a kick-ass lesbian scene before the credits roll. And we almost had the set up for one, but the blonde turned into a beaver instead. I just hung my head super low with a sad face. Fuck this. This is honestly the worst film I have seen all year I think.

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