Categories
Film Reviews Horror

Cujo (1983)

If you like Cujo or have fond memories of this movie, I would suggest just skipping this post, it’s not for you.

With that out of the way, I fucking hate this movie. As a kid, I never saw the whole thing, just like the last 30 minutes and honestly, as a 30 minute film, it is entertaining and it works. Who cares how the dog became crazed, you just need to know the bitch and her kid are trapped in their hot ass car, and they cannot get out or else Cujo is gonna fuck them up. Why the fuck was this movie 93 minutes? WHY? Does anybody give 2 shit about the opening hour of giving us some boring, bland back story that really adds up to nothing pertinent to the final outcome? There wasn’t a story that came full circle, it didn’t need to. You could have done a full hour in the car and that would have been better served in my opinion. You could build up so much tension, have a few more scenarios play out, and I feel this movie becomes watchable. This is not the worst movie ever made from a Stephen King novel. BUT I feel this is one of, if not the worst of the big name King movies that everybody knows or remembers. This movie makes me long for Children of the Corn sequels. I would rather watch The Descent, the Titanic, or any of the 3 Star Wars prequels over this abomination. Even worse is that Dee Wallace is in this, and I like her acting. She’s a horror icon. It’s not her fault, she really does her best with the material provided. How in the fuck this has a 5.9 average on IMDB, I have no fucking clue. This movie honest to god bummed me out and made me depressed and a little psycho. I mean it’s not Daredevil bad, but when part of your film review mentions Daredevil, you just know it is shitty. Please Hollywood, do not remake. That’s really what DNR should stand for, Do Nor Remake!!!! Most of the time you don’t want a remake ruining how happy the original made you feel, ahem, Karate Kid, ahem.

A few fun facts for you while roaming IMDB. One source says that this movie was King’s favorite adaptation. Another thing is apparently the kid dies in the end in the book. And I was kidding about a remake, but some fucking idiot is apparently working on it. Hooray for originality Hollywood. I want a 5 year ban on remakes. Stop it, just stop it!!! This movie has rolled around it’s awful garbage juices and still sucks, the garbage juice still reeks. I’m giving this movie a 2.8 mainly due to the final 30 minutes, that is is.

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