After Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan underperformed so badly, Paramount was like, fuck this noise and sold the character of Jason to New Line Cinema, better known as the house that Freddy built. Keep in mind, I said character, not franchise. This is why Friday the 13th isn’t included in any of the 3 New Line Cinema films but is in the Reboot that Paramount put out. Horror fans were filled with glee at the idea of a film featuring both characters. They would wait 10 long years after this film was released.
Why did the fans have to wait for so long? There were many factors. Slashers were a dying breed and were mostly box office flops by the ’90s. The ’80s had come and gone and people were worn out and waiting for something different or fresh. This film, while different and fresh, it didn’t resonate with the fanbase at the time.
I remember being overly excited about this film. There was a magazine that came out, and it had so much info in it. Here’s a link to what the magazine looked like. The hype was real in my 12-year-old mind. I don’t know why I didn’t see it in the theater. I rented it as soon as I could. The question is: was it worth the wait?
Start Film
I remember really liking the opening to this film. It’s actually something that I remember because it felt like it belonged in the franchise. There’s this attractive young lady at Crystal Lake. She has a New York Mets hat on, which I approve of. She is alone…..well not for long. The attempted jump scare early on I am good with them getting that out of the way early. She’s in the bathroom and every male watching is waiting and hoping for it. Oh, she lets her hair out, starts undressing. She is absolutely beautiful and fully nude. But the power goes out and now she has a towel. Damn that towel! Jason goes to the machete slash but she falls over the railing. She can run fast while barefoot. But she fell, naturally. No way that towel is staying put that well. Jason is slow. Was she staying at Higgins? She waits. Jason goes for the kill. Suddenly spotlights and all these guys, like FBI, SWAT, whatever, they unleash so many bullets. And I think maybe grenades or some explosive. Dudes were popping out from trees. They explode Jason, but his heart keeps beating. The lady’s name in this is Agent Marcus and she was also in Road House. A black dude in the bushes (Creighton Duke) says it’s not over. Sadly, I think this is by far the best 8 minutes of the film, with few exceptions.
They’re In Ohio at the morgue. And this is where the film gets dumb as hell. Sorry, but this is dumb. The guy who plays the Coroner may look familiar to people like me. He is the black police officer in The Big Lebowski, the funniest film ever made. He has a good sarcastic tone to him. The heart is twice the size of a normal heart. It’s filled with black, viscous fluid and starts beating. The coroner is freaked out a bit but incredibly curious. So what’s he gonna do? He picks it up and eats it. Yeah, that’s right. No explanation for it, he just eats it. This whole scene is gross and now souls or some shit are entering him as he roars. God, that was retarded.
The assistant coroner has pizza. I am jealous. I’m eating half a sandwich I made hours ago. Bill the coroner doesn’t take kindly to his assistant talking shit, so he kills him. Bill leaves and walks past a mirror and it’s really Jason. That’s right, Bill is now Jason or possessed by Jason or whatever. See how stupid this is? The security guards talked shit. They got got.
There is a news TV show about the deaths. Oh, they mentioned Jason’s dad, Elias, and Pamela. I think he said 87 kills. Duke is doing an interview. Duke is a bounty hunter. Duke wants 500 grand to take out Jason. The host of the show, American Case File, offers Duke the money if he can take out Jason.
There’s a diner doing a 2 for 1 Jason burger sale. Wait…was that….yes it was. Leslie Jordan, the short funny man in many American Horror Story seasons plays the role of Shelby. Duke is at the diner. He wants a Voorhees burger and a side of Jason fingers. Duke informs the waitress, Diana, that Jason is coming after her. Duke is awesome. He has a bit of Colman Domingo to him. Diana is Sheriff Landis’ lady. Steven is at the diner and Diana talks to him about Jessica. She tells him to meet at her place at 11.
The music hasn’t improved. Steven is driving at night. He picks up 2 hot girls and a dude, and they are on their way to Camp Crystal Lake. The one chick wants to go skinny dipping with Steven. She is very pretty. Steven turns down the invite. So he’s dumb.
Okay, they return from skinny dipping and the girls look fantastic. Lots of man ass. How awkward, the couple is going to fuck while the pretty girl sleeps outside next to the fire. Fuck that noise. Never be the third person in that situation. Pretty girl takes a piss, which is nice. Usually, it’s the men pissing in movies. But here are twigs snapping and she got sliced up. The other girl has to pee and he’s ready to fuck. That’s more like your typical female. That was a super quick urination. Her name is Debbie. His name is Luke and the hot one was Alexis. They’re all gonna die, but I wanted to give you names. Hello, Debbie’s titties. This film got that aspect correct. She is doing a lot of nudity. Good on here. Ohhhh, he got stabbed through and ripped open. Not sexually, this time.
We won’t be seeing any more tits the rest of the way. Diana is finishing up at the diner. Josh is an officer and has a thing with this chick, Edna, who is married. She gets killed. Bill has Josh strapped down inside somewhere and Officer Josh is very nude. Bill gets out the shaving cream and straight razor. Gives him a nice shave. Then they makeout? Okay, neat. Basically, the soul transferred bodies and apparently hates facial hair.
Jessica is on the phone with her mom, Diana. She is dating the guy from the TV show. Diana is assaulted by Josh/Jason. Diana shoots him in the dome. Not so dominant, are you Joshon? But he is back alive and grappling with Diana and trying to transfer this thing to Diana. It reminds me of this shitty ’80s film called The Kiss. Steven for the save. Well a few seconds later, Josh kills Diana anyway. Steven with the fire poker through Joshon’s back. Diana is still alive, but with a knife sticking out her back. She tells Steven to save Jessica. The Sheriff arrives and Joshon has left. the Sheriff doesn’t take kindly to this and brings Steven to the jail.
Officer Randy is trying to help Steven out. Jessica walks in on Vicki trying to clean up Diana’s bloodstain. But it’s time to play with the baby, Stephanie. Jessica, Betty, and Stephanie come to the jail. Vicki is going to babysit.
Duke is in jail and talking shit to Steven. Duke lets him know that he knows that he’s innocent. Duke knows how to end Jason. Steven wants to know how to end this, but the price is steep. Steven tries to act tough and gives Duke his hand and Duke breaks some fingers. Duke reveals Jessica is the only one who can stop Jason now. Steven wants more info, so his other hand gets fucked. Duke reveals that Jason needs Jessica’s body. He can be reborn by a Voorhees, and Diana was Jason’s sister. So Jessica and Stephanie are the only possibilities. Steven fools Randy to get him out of the cell. This scene really helped build Steven as a character. Randy gets locked up.
Vicki brings Stephanie to the diner and Joey, the lady, is pissy, but Shelby likes the baby. Joey gets a call that Steven has escaped. Naturally, Steve heads to the diner. Ward, the other Diner employee catches Steve visiting his baby for the first time. Ward is a good dude and gives Steven his car keys.
Steven is now at the Voorhees’ house and finds….is that the Necronomicon??? Okay, I took a quick break. So much good trivia. So many homages to stuff like The Birds and Jaws. The Coroner’s name may have been Phil or Bill. I can’t tell. This film was released 10 years to the day prior to Freddy vs Jason. The original director was a disaster. Tony Todd apparently auditioned for Duke. The Coroner liked flashing people on set. The girl who plays Jessica quit acting because the director was an ass, it sounds like. The guy who plays Steven also starred in the shitty F13th TV series. Steven was originally going to be Tommy Jarvis, but New Line didn’t have the rights to the character. Christ, this is like the Hannibal debacle with dividing up assets of a franchise. So dumb! And yes, that is the Necronomicon. But they didn’t have the rights, nor did that have Betsy Palmer, Jason’s mom, so it was kind of wasted, but the idea was there to explain things. Oh, and if the one security guard in the beginning looked familiar, well he should because it was Kane Hodder. Actually, this film has a ton of good Easter Eggs and stuff like that.
Steven hears someones and then falls through the floorboard. It is the host of the TV Show, Robert Campbell, which is a nod to Robert Englund and Bruce Campbell. This dude stole Diana’s body to hide it in the closet. He is a good dude. Joshon shows up. He wants to transfer this parasite and does so. Josh now melts and it is like the polar opposite of Frank in Hellraiser. This is good. Diana falls onto Steven. Why is Josh melting? Robert-son is now up.
Hello, Jessica getting undressed and crying. Both things are definitely a turn-on, am I right? The electricity is turned off. She refused to do a nude shower scene. Robert shows up and scares Jessica. Steven to the rescue. This whimsical music isn’t doing it for me. Robert stalks. Steven hits him with the car and reverses on him.
Jessica is hysterical, and Steven has to tell her to shut the fuck up. He reveals that Robert isn’t Robert and Josh wasn’t either. Jess kicks steven out of the car like a bitch and leaves him to fend for himself. She tells the Sheriff that she left him by the Meyers’ place. Another subtle nod.
Randy finds Steven and so they fight and wrestle. Steven lets Randy handcuff him. Robert is at the police station and just fucking people up and trying to transfer to Jessica. Steven and Randy show up and Steven gets Randy’s gun and shoots Robert repeatedly. Randy is knocked out. 3 cops to check out the noise. They’re gonna get it. l 2 did. The other one got punched out by Duke.
Steve and Jess head to the diner. Joey pulls a gun on them and sends Ward to the police station since the phone line is dead. Robert is approaching. Poor Ward. His arm just got snapped in half. Joey is knocked out. Vicki with the shotgun. She’s my MVP at the moment. If she had done nudity, she would have been clearcut MVP. Joey and Pookie are fending off Robert. Nooooo he drowned Leslie Jordan and Joey got elbowed in the face. The baby is missing. Vicki saving Jess. Vicki is a fucking badass impaling Robert, but he pulls her on the pole with him and then crushes her skull. She went out like a champ!!! Robert appears to be down. Jessica strands Steven again. I can’t stand this bitch. Steven finds the note and sees that Duke has the baby at the Voorhees house and Steven sees a machete on the wall.
Jess shows up at the house and there’s Duke and Steph. Duke says that it’s no longer about the money. He wants to send Jason back to Hell. He tosses a dagger to Jess and she catches it and it morphs into a much bigger blade magically. Jesus, that was so bad.
An officer shows up at the diner and sees the bodies. I’m sure he’s next up for the parasite. Duke falls through the floor and his thigh gets impales. Sheriff Ed shows up and then Randy is right behind. Duke tells her to kill both of them. She kills Landis and Randy grabs the baby. Why can the possessed person now talk normally? Steven runs in with a machete and almost decapitated Randy. The parasite escapes out of his neck hole. This is so fucking silly. This demon parasite goes up Diana’s coochie. Duke climbed up. And she was a Voorhees. Jason is back!!! Duke tells them to get the dagger. Duke handcuffs himself to Jason. Duke is kissed and the dagger falls through the floor. So clumsy. Poor Duke. Steven practically spears Jason out the front window and gets him with a rake.
Jess looks for the dagger. Steven is able to put up a much better fight against Jason than he should and it makes no sense. But good for him. There’s The Birds jungle gym thing. Jess with a jumping dagger thrust. The orange souls are escaping Jason. Who are we supposed to be cheering for at this point? Steven with a pump kick. Jess with Sweet Chest Music to push the dagger deeper.
Aww, poor Jason. Hands from Hell are reaching to pull him and Steven down. Jason with a last-ditch effort and Jess saves Steven. Why were the hands after Steven? Why is there a weird beam of blue light? Now they are kissing and happy together. The mask is still on the ground. A dog shows up and paws at the mask. But wait for it…..Freddy’s arm and glove pop up and drag the mask down to hell and we get the Freddy laugh. That ending kicked so much ass and made so many people pumped.
End Film
Okay, that was silly but never boring. It had a lot of cool deaths in. Yes, they went way overboard. Considering the rewrites and how bad everything was during production, this film is actually a last-minute miracle. The overall story is pretty fucking dumb. I feel like they were trying to create enough backstory pieces that they could use later on in future projects. Obviously, the goal was to get Jason to Hell in order to do the Freddy vs Jason film. It only took them 10 fucking years!
Was this better than Part VIII? Yes, it most certainly was. Was this better than Part V? I think that’s the far more interesting question. I gave V a 5.1. And I believe up to this point, these two films had the highest body count. That proves that sometimes less is better. Both films are filled with moments where you roll your eyes. The characters are much better in this with an arguably more nonsensical story.
Creighton Duke, Steven, Vicki, and Joey are all quite good characters. I also enjoyed the change in tone while trying to bring back some of the past. It’s not enough to get into 6 territory though, as far as ratings go. But that ending was fucking magnificent.
Final Rating – 5.8 – So many fun Easter Eggs, the ending, the kills, the tits, the attempt at fan service all require a bit of gratitude even though the film is hugely flawed. The film was probably a 5.3 right up to the point when Freddy’s hand pops out. That done changed the game, playa. And kudos on having 2 solid black performers in big roles, and both really did great. In the horror genre, it’s rare to see that.
All the pictures used in this blog are for review purposes. They are the property of:
Please go find a copy and support the creators.